T's Former House of 'Cam

RIP This Blog (January-May 2005)

2005-05-31T16:00:00.000+10:00

Due to the aforementioned decrease in exclusively Neurocam-related posts - partly due to my promotion, partly due to the sad decline of the Neuroblogging scene in general over recent months, partly due to the different blogging style that I've developed since initiating my other, more general-purpose blog at the end of March - I've decided to officially mothball this site.

I will continue to post about the 'Cam from time to time on aforementioned other blog. That address again is http://teigan.typepad.com. Those with links/bookmarks, please update etc.

Thank you.

Last Ever Neurocam Post?

2005-05-26T11:30:00.000+10:00

Well, probably not. But the second half of my induction was completed earlier in the week and I really can't say anything at all about it, except that it's pretty sweet. I certainly ain't disappointed.

Hang in there, you little entry-level scamps.

As others have observed, the more you learn about the Cam the harder it becomes to talk about. But I will continue to blog about Neurocam to the extent that this is feasible. May not be all that much.

That said I have a new assignment, NIO-3001/01, which is not of itself earth-shattering in nature, and which I am not explicitly enjoined from discussing. Suffice to say it's a less diversionary equivalent of NCI-2332.

Xul Is Dead

2005-05-17T15:25:00.000+10:00

Long live Xul.

Assignment MIA-0009/5 (Part 2)

2005-05-16T23:30:00.000+10:00

So, at approximately 7:50 this evening, a white stretch limo pulled up outside the Belgian Beer Cafe on Moubray Street, Prahran, where two other operatives (one blogging, one not) and myself were waiting as instructed.

The driver ushered us inside. Two masked, silent Neurocam personnel sat at either end of a long seat facing a bar. The limo pulled out and we were each handed several documents (including two copies of a hefty engagement contract), a pen, and a set of headphones.

A laptop (one of those adorable baby powerbooks) had been placed on the bar, and instructions were delivered to us through it by way of a video address by a masked woman. Once she had finished speaking, an onscreen timer counted down the ten minutes we were given in which to examine the documents and complete certain tasks pertaining to them, which we did before being returned to our departure point.

Upon alighting from the limo we were each presented with an enigmatic souvenir.

We then proceeded into the Belgian Beer Cafe and had a drink.

Assignment MIA-0009/05

2005-05-16T11:25:00.000+10:00

This long-awaited missive landed in my inbox on Thusday:

From: operations@neurocam.com
Subject: Neurocam Assignment – Monday May 16th 2005
Date: 12 May 2005 8:30:35 PM

Dear Operative [Teigan]

Please be aware that due to availability constraints you are requested to be available for an assignment relating to your offer of promotion on Monday May 16th between 7:30 and 8:30pm. This schedule is now compulsory, and any deviation will result in the retraction of your promotion offer and potential dismissal from Neurocam International.

The exact timing and location and other operational requirements will be provided via the usual email communication during the day in question. Please advise immediately if this will be a problem for you. I can say, however, that the intended location you will need to travel to will be in the vicinity of [where I live].

Regards,

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

As advised, that was followed this morning by this:

From: operations@neurocam.com
Subject: Neurocam International Assignment MIA – 0009/05
Date: 16 May 2005 10:06:04 AM

Dear Operative [Teigan]

This evening, Monday May 16, 2005, at 7:45 pm precisely, you are to be at the following location: [public location in the inner south of Melbourne]

Be wearing your Neurocam Identifier if it is in operational condition. If it is not in operational condition you must display evidence of your Neurocam membership.

Your attendance is compulsory and you must come alone. Any deviation will result in the retraction of your promotion offer and potential dismissal from Neurocam International.

Regarding operational security: you are permitted to publicly note the purpose of the assignment, and it impact on you as an operative of Neurocam International, and describe the events involved in the assignment, but you are not permitted to reveal the details of any messages, conversations, documents, reports, or other communications beyond the two preparatory assignment arrangement emails.

I trust you will understand and abide by the intent of these security requirements. Further security guidelines will be provided as required and relevant to the issues and eventualities arising out of this evening’s assignment.

Regards,

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

The Troops Are Getting Restless

2005-05-13T08:30:00.000+10:00

Dissatisfaction abroad in the Neuroranks: Jo rants, Lady J agrees (as does Simon Blackmoore), Li flakes out, and Reanimator drops the bomb.

R's articulate points aside I wonder how much all of this really has to do with the 'Cam itself, and how much of it is down to frustration at all the timewasting, bandwagon-hijacking idiots who seem to have gravitated towards it over the last little while.

Assignment NTC-5555/01 Completed

2005-05-10T18:30:00.000+10:00

Fischer in LA (part 2) & The Matrix @ The Astor

2005-05-09T22:30:00.000+10:00

Mail from Madeline Khan:

I hereby confirm that Ms. Bridget Fischer is currently traveling abroad and that the west coast of the United States of America is one of her many intended destinations. Furthermore, I can confirm that I am the author of the email recently reproduced upon Operative Midnight’s web journal.

Also, Melbournites: The Matrix is screening at the Astor in St Kilda tomorrow night. Never seen it in a cinema before. Bit exciting. I'm certainly not the only Cammer who's a fan of this movie; anyone else thinking of going?

I'll be wearing my identifier..

aaatch.. Avery, Xul & Urik; Fischer in LA; Moncrief Full Of Shit: Zelle; Vale Aliask and Assignment 5555/01 ..hoo!!

2005-05-08T21:00:00.000+10:00

Been very slack on the bloggage front of late; touch of flu and not much worth reporting. Apologies.

Everything looks exceptionally hazy in Camland at present. The Neurowiki (Wikicam?) appears to be coming along nicely but if its objective is to serve as a source for accurate info, I kind of wonder if it isn't a doomed project. As is the case more often than not, the line between fact and fiction's so blurry right now that the distinction seems almost irrelevant.

Avery's supposedly arrived here in Melbourne. But with his previous post he seems to have warped into the Xulosphere. (Hi Avery, if you're reading this and you really are in town. Feel free to invalidate my skepticism.)

Meanwhile I - and presumably others - have received a mail purportedly from Xul's associate Urik, advising that Mr. Solar has gone into hiding and ceased all internet communications, although he remains "in excellent physical and mental health". Which is reassuring.

I've lodged an enquiry regarding Midnight's claims about Fischer's trip to LA. His latest entry, quoting a mail from Madeline Khan, suggests that there is genuinely something going down there, even if it is just more smoke and, y'know, mirrors.

Gertrude Zelle has told tobyesterhase aka Operative Cronin that Marc Moncrief's legendary Age article, responsible for introducing many a Melbourne operative (including this one) to the 'Cam, is "a potentially slanderous fiction, complied by him from half-truths, materials of questionable veracity and blatant lies." Cronin intends to contact Moncrief about this accusation, which might prove interesting.

In other news, one of my local neuroblogging contemporaries, Aliask (Perception Assessment class of January 3rd - here's his, here's a mine.. ah, the good old days etc) has retired; apparently he couldn't be arsed with Assignment 5555/01, and I don't think he's the only one.

But, good little operative that I am, I faithfully completed the bulk of mine on Friday; hopefully I'll be able to finish it off on Tuesday.

NeuroWiki

2005-05-03T13:00:00.000+10:00

Neuroboardie Dev has set up a Neurocam wiki. If enough people get on board this could grow into an excellent resource.

No Man Is Just A Number (Supposedly)

2005-05-02T11:00:00.000+10:00

It's all about The Prisoner, apparently.

Not seen it myself but the premise sounds intruiging.

Neville Harris Resigns

2005-04-29T18:00:00.000+10:00

From our glorious leader:

Attention all staff and operatives.

Earlier today Mr. Neville Harris, head of Neurocam International’s Administration Division, tendered his resignation due to personal reasons. This resignation will be effective as of close of business today (Friday, April 28, 2005).

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Harris for his 6 years of loyal service to Neurocam International and I hereby wish Mr. Harris all the best with his future endeavors.

Due to Mr. Harris resignation, however, the position of Administrator has been deemed redundant and a new position has been created to address many of the issues previously dealt with by Mr. Harris.

Mr. Miles Carrefour has been awarded the position of “Induction Officer” within the Human Resources Security Division and will now handle many of the tasks previously assigned to Mr. Harris.

Mr. Harris’ e-mail address will remain active for fourteen days and all correspondence from it will be forward directly to Mr. Miles Carrefour (miles.carrefour@neurocam.com). After this two week period, Mr. Harris’ email account will be deleted from our system.

Regards,

Bridget Fischer
Chief Executive Officer
Neurocam International

It seems likely that this resignation was precipitated by Harris's accidental circulation to all operatives and staff earlier today of a mail intended only for Neurocam management.

Visit My Other Blog, Fucktards

2005-04-29T10:55:00.000+10:00

Sorry.

I just really wanted to use the word "fucktards".

That is all.

Cardoza To Visit Auckland; 'Cam Community Baffled

2005-04-28T19:35:00.000+10:00

It's old news now but still worth a post: Avery "The New Number 2" Cardoza (no, I don't know either) is intent on following the Neurotrail all the way to New Zealand. And "points thereafter".

Good luck, Avery. Whatever the hell you're doing.

Assignment NTC-5555/01

2005-04-26T21:15:00.000+10:00

Received today. Who else?

Miles Carrefour

2005-04-26T08:30:00.000+10:00

They just keep on coming - Simon Blackmoore reports yet another new Neurocam rep: Miles Carrefour, Induction Officer, Human Resources Security Division. Apparently handling new applications.

Google doesn't know anything about him, but I'm sure I've heard this name before somewhere.

Erratum

2005-04-24T09:30:00.000+10:00

Fischer's assistant is Madeline Khan, not Kahn.

(Almost) Everybody Hates Gertrude Zelle

2005-04-22T13:10:00.000+10:00

Known blogging operatives who have reported receiving bitchy email responses from Gertrude Zelle: Another Operative; Elmo; Gigabane; tobyesterhase; Roger That and Exodus (although he was probably asking for it).

Reanimator reports contact with another previously unknown Neurocam staffer - Bridget Fischer's assistant, Madeline Kahn (presumably not this Madeline Kahn, who is dead).

Toasts, Assing, Etc

2005-04-21T15:00:00.000+10:00

Toasts to Maxwell:

Lady J toasting me toasting Li toasting Midnight toasting Constance, Avery & Lady J toasting Maxwell.

Gigabane toasting Cheshire Cat toasting Tobyesterhase toasting me toasting Li toasting Midnight toasting Constance, Avery & Lady J toasting Maxwell

In late February there were some murmurings about schisms & double-crossage in the upper Neuroranks from Jojo & Tript, amongst other sources. In serialising the background to his recent dismissal, Avery seems to be throwing more light on these rumours, and it's shaping up as quite the expose.

Bridge & Charlie- who'd a thunk it?

And we have another neweuroblogger: Simon Blackmoore.

Two New Operative Blogs & Gertie Zelle

2005-04-20T14:20:00.000+10:00

Two new operative blogs: American Guy of Melbourne and Gigabane of Newfoundland, Canada.

New acting Human Resources Security head Gertrude Zelle is not winning too many friends amongst the rank & file. Although it seems she has an unlikely fan in the Maxwell-besotted Constance.

Cardoza Axed

2005-04-19T10:30:00.000+10:00

Respected NYC operative Avery Cardoza has been unceremoniously dumped. Avery - who'll hopefully continue to blog in some form - has now provided a bit of eyebrow-raising background to his Neurodismissal.

Seems Cardoza Investigations was assisting former Human Resources Security head Maxwell Knight with some kind of internal sleuthing exercise. Avery quotes a mail to him from Maxwell dated April 16th:

Regarding the fruits of my investigation, I will contact you with the results following my meeting with senior management of Monday April 18, 2005. I do, however, have high hopes of unmasking the Judas who lurks within our midst.

It was presumably at this meeting that Maxwell 'resigned'.

Hmmmmmm...

UPDATE: Conchis is back online, admitting that his blogjacking by Circle De Luce was a hoax designed to test the integrity of the Cam's Jack Sampson. He offers some possible insight into Maxgate.

Gertrude Zelle Is The New Maxwell Knight

2005-04-18T12:00:00.000+10:00

Another new addition to the official Neuroranks: Gertrude Zelle.

From: Bridget Fischer
To: All Neurocam Staff
Subject: ALL STAFF NOTIFICATION. RE: Maxwell Knight.
Date: 18 April 2005 11:09:47 AM

Attention all staff and operatives.

Earlier today Mr. Maxwell Knight, head of Neurocam’s Human Resources Security Division, tendered his resignation due to personal reasons. This resignation will be effective as of close of business today (Monday, April 18 2005).

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Knight for his 17 years of loyal service to Neurocam International. His presence in the office has always been a reassuring factor for me and he has brought a highly appreciated debonair flair to the office environment. His contribution to the day-to-day operations of the organization was immense and he will be sorely missed.

I hereby wish Mr. Knight all the best with his future endeavors.

Until such time as the position is advertised internally, Ms. Gertrude Zelle, former assistant to Mr. Knight, will fill the position of Head of the Human Resources Security Division. Please direct any Human Resources Security queries directly to Ms. Zelle at (gertrude.zelle@neurocam.com).

Mr. Knight’s e-mail address will remain active for fourteen days and all correspondence from it will be forward directly to Ms. Zelle. After this two week period, Mr. Knight’s e-mail account will be deleted from our system.

Regards,

Bridget Fischer
Chief Executive Officer
Neurocam International

Conchis Sabotaged (Again)

2005-04-18T00:09:00.000+10:00

Dan Pritchard's blog has ostensibly been 0wn3d by the Circle De Luce. Cheshire Cat has more.

Jack Samson & Otti Votavova

2005-04-17T20:00:00.000+10:00

Constance has been corresponding with two official Neurocam people who aren't Hastings, Fischer, Knight or Harris: "Otti Votavova", via the operations address generally used by Charles, and "Jack Sampson", via Maxwell's address.

Jack Sampson was the primary Neurocam contact of somewhat suspect London operative Conchis aka Dan Pritchard.

Pritchard has contacted her about this.

Ask Not What Neurocam Can Do For You...

2005-04-14T11:00:00.000+10:00

The official Neurocam application has changed - now aspiring operatives have to submit "between 250 and 300 words on what [they] have to offer Neurocam".