Ken’s incongruity, on the other hand, was connected with the word “young.” he had no problem with “youthful,” but his mind kicked up uneasy feelings any time he tried to inject “young” into his self image. 

“After all,” he explained, “at age 71 I’m NOT young. And I wouldn’t want to go back to my younger days for anything in the world. They were fun, but trying times… it took me years to gain the peace and knowledge I have now.” 

Cheryl and Ken are typical. Almost everyone who tries to introduce new ideas into their self image will stir up inner conflict. And yet, we are usually surprised when this dissonance arises. 

Change = Conflict 

As part of our socialization process, most of us are trained to avoid conflict wherever possible. But when conflict does happen, we’re taught by example to try and dominate the strange new idea and chase it away, rather than welcoming it. In other words, we tend to argue rather than to negotiate and find common ground. 

Take any two people. Inevitably, differences of viewpoint arise between them, and when this happens, doesn’t each one usually insist that their idea is right while the other’s is flawed? Most people rather be right than happy.  How often do both partners listen respectfully and try to work out a way for both of them to be right? We do see peaceful relationships, but they’re few — certainly not in the high percentages. 

And just as each party usually insists that the other is wrong, so does your mind: “What I believe is not a belief… it’s RIGHT.” This leads us to skip right over any opportunity to examine our established ideas. After all, they don’t NEED examining… we already know they’re right. 

It’s this unconscious, unquestioning arrogance about the infallibility of our own beliefs that keeps us stuck in one spot, not moving forward, not knowing why. 

Could Your Feelings Be Telling You Something? 

But is it a good idea to ignore your feelings? When your intuition tells you something is wrong, it might be good to pay closer attention, not ignore it. 

In most societies, we’re taught to huddle around our positive feelings while steering clear of our negative ones. So what happens when we begin suggesting to ourselves that we’re productive, young, rich, or slender, and this brings out a cognitive dissonance? This feeling of incongruity between our suggestion and our reality makes us uncomfortable. 

That feeling is disagreeable, so instead of allowing the two ideas time to marinade and settle things between themselves, we emotionally stop the affirmation. Whilst this restores the quiet within us, we virtually remain stuck. 

Incongruous Feelings Are Your “Work-on-This” Sensor 

How many times have you been affirming something like “I am rich” or maybe “I am growing in abundance and prosperity,” only to have the inner you laugh at the dea? 

Perhaps you’ve had the same experience. If you have — and if you ended up quitting — then you were throwing away some of the best feedback the inner you will ever bring you.  Your inner you isn’t telling you that you’re lying, and it’s not telling you to stop. It’s telling you that this is an area of extra sensitivity; that it’s going to need extra patience, time and help from the conscious you.

It’s saying, “I don’t know what I’m doing here… yet. And I don’t know how to make this shift… yet. So please don’t judge me too harshly if I can’t make this change immediately.” It’s saying there are feelings of insecurity and maybe a little defensiveness.  This means you may want to rid yourself of the idea that “negative” feelings are always negative. More often they’re requests for patience, understanding and soft-handed persistence. 

The Real Meaning of Incongruity 

The inner you is not telling you to back off or to quit. Instead, it’s pointing out exactly what you should be working on.  This is priceless information, because once you know where your sensitive spots or “problems ideas” are located, you’ll know exactly where to apply your focus. 

You’re no longer on a hit-or-miss basis. In other words, once you know the location of a block, it becomes much easier to ease your way through it.   

First rule: Don’t be timid. Test lots of ideas, suggestions and affirmations. The ones that cause you discomfort and make you feel like a liar… those are usually your “quick-win” zones. 

But don’t use force… just let your suggestions and affirmations flow in, steadily and gently. If necessary use a journal to connect heart and action to mind. You’re not “making” anything happen. You’re just giving two seemingly opposing ideas the chance to work out the best compromise. All resolving will be done at your other than conscious level. 

How About Some Techniques. 

If you’re familiar with NLP, you may want to use anchoring, reframing or the swish pattern. And if you’ve never heard of these before, do a quick Google search. You’ll find reams of information on the subject.   

Another excellent technique that I’ve used extensively is EFT. This involves tapping on certain acupressure points.   

So if you find your mind is filled with words and concepts that are weighed down with associations of hopelessness or negativity, now you know what to do with them. You can begin changing them immediately. Once you’ve learned to change the emotions attached to common ordinary words, you’ve learned how to select your own personal character traits.   

Indeed, when you control beliefs, you control your very destiny.

Imagine what other toxins enter our bodies as we add additional years to our existence here on earth.  From the air we breathe, the water we drink and the food we eat, even through our skin.

These toxins are responsible for many of the health issues currently affecting us, and getting rid of them could eradicate many common ailments such as chronic pain, digestive problems, depression and even poor eyesight. Detoxifying your body can boost your immune system, clear your mind, balance your hormones, and much more.

There has not been enough time for our bodies to adapt to the countless man-made toxins, chemicals and pollutants that we are exposed to on a daily basis.  Essentially our bodies are optimized to live in a much simpler world, much like our ancestors the cave man did.

So what type of detox should you be thinking of?

In the world of detox, chelation is king. The word “chelate” comes from the Greek word “chele,” which means “claw.” It describes the process by which a molecule from a nutrient (or chemical) surrounds and binds (or grabs like a claw) to metal toxins – such as mercury, lead, and arsenic – and carries them out of your body through your kidneys and out in your urine.

Believe it or not, arsenic and lead are among the most common forms of heavy metal toxicity. These poisons are used in the basic manufacturing processes of things like pesticides, glass, wood preservatives, fertilizers, paint, batteries, plumbing, and ink. Not to mention hobby paints, hair coloring, and cosmetics.

The chelating procedure used by doctors uses a synthetic solution or chemical called ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid (EDTA) which is administered through injection. But this can sometimes cause nasty side effects, such as headache, rash, and high blood pressure. And in some cases, it can leech vital minerals from your body along with the toxins.

So are there safer more natural methods of chelation that will remove toxic metals from your body?

You can take chlorella, which is a form of dried algae found in most health-food stores. However if you start experiencing nausea or burping, it means you have a sensitivity chlorella, and you should go for another option.

Fresh cilantro has also been shown to be effective in removing mercury from the body. Also the equivalent of about a teaspoon of garlic a day should work.

These few suggestions should get you off to a good start reclaiming your health and becoming toxin free.

So you hate the hard times you’ve passed through?  You feel you’ve experienced enough to write a book and would love to have achievement be easy and simple just once in your life.

Helen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Easy times never stretch us, never enlarge our strengths, or develop a new and expanded view of our capabilities.  Easy times are easy and that is about all you can say about them.

Difficult times, on the other hand, are the stuff that legends are made of, years later, we tell our grandchildren about these times. They’re what books and movies are based upon. Epics and inspiring tales never feature comfortable people doing comfortable, run of the mill things.

No Olympic athlete ever got the gold by insisting on her comfort; no business empires were founded by someone seeking a free ride, no great leader has ever coasted into prominence.

If you truly want to be more tomorrow than you are today, then you must learn to welcome the so-called “difficult times” and “character stretchers”, even feel a sense of excitement when you face them. After all, difficulties are a clear indicator that you’re about to enter a new and higher plane of existence.

The easiest way is always a downhill path, and as long as you wish for things to be easier you’ll continue to receive mediocre results.  Pray not for ease of passage but rather strength to scale new heights.

Seek out what will stretch you physically and spiritually because you are special and you deserve it. If you have always sought the easy way and avoided deliberately trying anything that would stretch you, then know this, that there is nothing special about you.

You don’t have to remain ordinary, however. You could begin seeking out the uphill path, the higher way.

Do not hate struggle and effort, because this is what will win you strength, grow your competence and develop your self esteem.

But most of all, it’s what builds strong character.

We are success seeking machines and as such, we are happiest when pursuing a worthy goal.

Now, I don’t know what your “next thing” — your next goal — might be. It could be a a new relationship, or a family objective. It may be connected with inner growth, or with your physical health.

But whatever it is, whatever you’ve resolved to accomplish, are you actually going to follow through? Will you keep at it with dogged focus?

Whatever your dreams and intentions turns out to be, there is one thing I know with absolute certainty. If you did not take the time to acquire the eight success traits we will discuss, your dreams are already in jeopardy even before you begin.

How do I know this?

Because the right skills, personal traits and expectations is the difference between success and failure when pursuing your dreams.

All things being equal…

The person in possession of the 8 success traits either through inheritance or personal development will out perform the one who is lacking. So what are these 8 magical success traits?

Here’s my shortlist of abilities, skills and personal characterists that virtually all consistently successful people possess.

1. ENERGY

A basic law of the universe states that energy is neither created or destroyed. Translation: Energy should always be conserved if you wish to have an adequate supply to accomplish your worthy goals. This is an important thing to know.

Maybe you’ve met someone who constantly thought about only one hobby or one idea. Such people tend to have tremendous energy for their one main interest, but can generate little energy for doing anything else.

On the other hand, you’ve seen folks who have hundreds of competing interests, duties, “have-to-do’s” and “shoulds” sucking away their time. Often, these people can barely drag themselves through the day.

So how do you increase your storehouse of energy using this knowledge?

You concentrate… you focus… you specialize. You pick the one thing that’s most important to you, and you give most of your attention to that one thing.

As long as you let your attention be pulled this way and that by anything that pops up in front of you, energy will continue to be a problem for you.

Of course, you’re going to tell me that you couldn’t possibly stop spending your time and energy on all those things cluttering up your life.

Okay… that’s one way. Is it working?

2. DECISIVENESS

The ability to make decisions fast but change them slowly (if at all) is one of the markers of high achievers. Meanwhile, the opposite — lingering long over decisions, but changing them often — that’s the most common characteristic of non-achievers.

The ability to be decisive is a skill just like any other, and it CAN be developed. How do you do it? Read on… there’s another aspect to this trait.

3. PERSISTENCE

Persistence is the other side of the coin to decisiveness and you rarely have one without the other.

A decision is only as good as your ability to stay the course until that decision bears fruit. Persistence is another hallmark of high achievers. They do whatever it takes to accomplish what they’ve made up their mind to do.

Want proof of this? Go read some biographies. You’ll see this pattern emerging again and again.

Early in the last century, Calvin Coolidge wrote…

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

So how do you develop the skill of persistence if you lack it? It starts with deciding to.

4. DISCIPLINE

High achievers are also disciplined. This trait keeps them focused and prevents them from scattering their energies and time in all directions.

Discipline isn’t complicated. It isn’t really even hard. It only takes deciding to set some guidelines and limits, then sticking to them. Yes, even when you’re getting bored with the task at hand and it doesn’t seem very creative at the moment.

5. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Dream champions are masters of having unrealistic expectations. Observation shows that highly motivated, highly successful people are just not very realistic. Their psychological profiles reveal them to be far more optimistic than average about possible outcomes.

This unrealistic expectation of everything always supporting their highest good, is what keeps them in the game, when most realistic folks quit. And it’s these overly optimistic people who end up doing the impossible things that inspire the rest of us, winning when the odds are all against them.

6. WILLINGNESS TO LEARN NEW THINGS

Almost all successful people are voracious learners. They recognize that in order to earn more they must first become more. The things they want to achieve always require more knowledge, more skills, more expertise, more awareness – require that they become a bigger and better person than they are now.

So they go out and get what they need. They learn the knowledge. They practice and acquire new skills, constantly learning and exploring new viewpoints and perspectives.

Usually, they don’t fool around with night classes in junior college. They’ll typically go straight to the source. Hire a highly rated coach who knows the territory. Seek out introductions to leading people in their field of interest. Dive into total-immersion experiences headfirst.

Their goal is never to waste time; it’s to get things done, preferably in as straight a line as possible.

7. WILLINGNESS TO MAKE MANY MISTAKES

Achievers don’t mind making mistakes. The reason they don’t mind is because they don’t stop and stay there. They quickly assess results, make adjustments, and try something else. They move forward.

They keep at it until they make progressively smarter mistakes, involving increasingly smaller errors, until their mistakes are indistinguishable from the target. Dream achievers consistently look upon mistakes as opportunities to achieve even more.

Mistakes are good — when you know how to use them properly.

8. ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE

One of the most important characteristics of all for achievers is the way they actively seek out other, even higher achievers to be around. They know that who you choose to associate with will dramatically influence your ability to succeed. Do not be intimated but actively seek out those that have achieved more than you.

BUT DON’T DESPAIR

Now, if you don’t have these 8 winning traits, don’t get discouraged. Nobody has all of them when they start. No, not even the highest achievers. They work at it, developing their skills and their character over time, becoming more tomorrow than they were yesterday.

And you can too.

You’ll make mistakes, sure, but now you know how to make progressively smarter mistakes. Mistakes that will carry you forward to higher and higher achievement. And a pride in knowing that you DO get the important things done… you DO change your world for the better…

]]> http://www.terencecipriani.com/85/feed/ 0 http://www.terencecipriani.com/a-curious-law/ http://www.terencecipriani.com/a-curious-law/#comments Wed, 30 Dec 2009 03:56:05 +0000 Terence http://www.terencecipriani.com/?p=82 The “Law of Association” states that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.  However, have you really considered the fact that YOU are one of those five, and on average you spend more time with your thoughts than you do with the other four people combined.

Psychological studies have confirmed that we speak to ourselves at the rate of nine to eighteen thousand words per hour.  So try this if you want to put the law of association to work for you.

Manage who you associate with on a daily basis and become very aware of the thoughts that are constantly running through your mind.  Because managing your thinking whilst being mindful of who you associate with, will cause the “Law of Association” to work on your behalf and change your life.

Do you ever feel that some parts of yourself are fighting against your best efforts? That You are an army divided unto itself? Ever felt like everything else is conspiring to prevent you from achievement?

The part of self that most people have the greatest problems with is the “inner friend” in charge of keeping you inside your comfort zone and communicating with the Universe. In fact, it’s common to hear people refer to their inner friend as some kind of enemy or mindless adversary.

But he (or she) isn’t an enemy. He’s just trying to keep you safe, secure and in your comfort zone. He hasn’t been very well spoken to in the past, so he’s grown a bit officious over the years.

Remember this: every part of your self is a friend, and not an enemy — ever. It’s only our incomplete understanding of how to communicate with this well meaning friend that causes much of our struggles with creating the life we want.

If you have an immovable block or obstacle that you just can’t get past, it’s often because of this inner friend that is accessible through our mind, and your testy relationship with him.

Let’s say you need a larger income, but every avenue seems blocked. Nothing you try ever works, and you’ve remained short of money for as long as you can remember.

Well, you might want to stop trying to figure it out. In fact, stop looking for a solution altogether. Cease struggling. After all, nothing in your outer life is going to change until something inside your comfort zone changes. Finding a “solution” will remain basically impossible until it’s in harmony with what your “inner friend deems comfortable.

HERE’S THE TRICK: INSTEAD OF STRUGGLING, TRY SMUGGLING.

You can stop straining to take a step or two outside your comfort zone. Instead use your faculty of imagination to mystically smuggle new situations into your comfort zone. This is a non-threatening way to suggest new ideas and situations to your “inner friend” for eventual adoption and transmission to the Universe for fulfillment.

In a surprisingly short time, he will begin to think that all this new stuff is a natural part of “his” territory, and he’ll begin to establish a new comfort zone of happiness, prosperity and success for you to dwell in.

If you have problems that you’ve been unable to figure out after years of thinking, then more of the same will not produce significantly different results. This is a glaring indicator that you’ve been pouring your focus into the wrong approach.

You see, deciding how the problem gets solved isn’t really your job. Your job is to mentally imagine a new situation where the “problem” does not exist. Imagine this vividly, often and excitedly. It’s the job of your “inner friend” to connect with the Universe and come up with the how, and the when.

Doesn’t matter how impossible a situation seems. The Universe has resources and connections you and I could never dream of. So your job is to communicate with your “inner friend” in a manner that he understands, so that he will transmit your desires to the Universe. You do this by dwelling on your future vision, not the path TO that vision.

Just remember, it’s the Universe’s job to create the path that leads to what you desire. It’ll bring you openings and opportunities that you’d probably never expect nor imagine. But you do have to initiate the process. You do that by clearly imagining what you desire.

In effect, you’re smuggling in new “facts” about what belongs within your comfort zone. But when smuggling in new facts in this manner, be sure to remain open to something even better by adopting the following phrase: “this or something better.”

This makes sure you get solutions that are in alignment with your higher self.

I want to see you putting your energy into imagining your result, your outcome, not your problem or obstacles.

Start now to use this technique to enlist the aid of your “inner friend” to create the life you wish and see if the universe will not gladly make your fondest wishes a reality.

Do this and see if you don’t notice a dramatic change of fortunes.

]]> http://www.terencecipriani.com/a-secret-technique-to-achieve-success/feed/ 0 http://www.terencecipriani.com/cycles/ http://www.terencecipriani.com/cycles/#comments Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:36:47 +0000 Terence http://www.terencecipriani.com/?p=77 Curiously enough, we all know intuitively that everything in our our world is subject to cycles.  For every up cycle their is a down cycle, for every yin their is a yang, for every light cycle their is a cycle of darkness and so on and so forth.  Be aware of your cycles and draw up your plans accordingly.

What if all that is necessary, is for you to stop doing those things that prevent you from embracing your natural state of motivation.

Anytime you feel a lack of ambition, energy or enthusiasm, your are probably invoking one or all of the following five behaviors. Which will ensure You’ll stay in front of your television watching reruns or down at the neighborhood bar sipping on fermented hops and feeling unmotivated.

Behavior Number 5: Spending Time with Low Achievers

We absorb the mindset and attitudes of the people we associate with, so it’s important to stay away from the low achievers and instead spend time with high-fliers.

Be very careful to choose friends who are going somewhere and, if possible, who are open to the entire idea of achievement and success.

If you want to identify low achievers, listen for phrases like:

• You’d have to be ruthless to succeed like that
• He’s rich, so he MUST be crooked as a corkscrew
• We just weren’t born to be rich or successful
• I don’t try to be somebody I’m not
• We may be poor, but at least we’re happy

Be sure to spend all your available time with people who have the correct mindset.

Behavior Number 4: Avoiding Goal Oriented Activities

If you never set a goal. Never work toward anything. If someone offers you a step up, such as a promotion, and you firmly refuse. If you accept raises, but avoid giving any value in return, you just might be avoiding goal oriented activities.

Instead, try to pursue activities that might enlarge your concept of what’s possible. Ideally, you should be working to enlarge your world rather than shrinking it. At all costs, question your status quo as if your very life depends on it.

Focusing on these principles will open the door to excitement, hope, enthusiasm and other exciting emotions.

Behavior Number 3: Openly Criticizing High Achievers

Closely related to number 5 is this next behavior that causes you to move away from your natural motivated state.

Looking for ways to undercut the special achievements of others. If an acquaintance does something noteworthy, find a way to minimize there achievement. Typical examples include:

• I guess that’s good… but her poor husband and kids
• Pretty unbelievable. Wonder what he’s on?
• Of course, she never sees her old friends any more
• The way he smiles you’d think he’s sincere
• Some people just don’t know how much is enough

By suggesting a possible negative side of things, you can make them seem true, even though they’re not.

Please note that this behavior will work even if you don’t make your remarks aloud. Planting them in your own mind can squeeze out any urges to better yourself. So it’s a sure-fire way to keep yourself caged within your walls of limitations looking for ways to become motivated.

Behavior Number 2: You Seek Logical-Sounding Reasons for Why Not

Here is what this looks like. If an exciting idea wanders into your mind, you immediately reach for a ready repertoire of excuses so you don’t unthinkingly jump up to put the plan into action.

The logical repertoire of excuses sound like these:

• I would never know how to do that
• That would take too much time (energy, brains, etc.)
• They’d all laugh at me
• Who am I to try something like that?
• I’m not really all that interested in…

In fact, any kind of “I’m not, I can’t, I wouldn’t” thought will serve the purpose. They don’t need to be especially true – their only real purpose is to keep you from ever starting.

Behavior Number 1: Wallowing in Self Pity

And the number one behavior that will drive you away from your natural motivated state, is to spend a lot of time feeling sorry for yourself. It’s a big no-no if you want to feel hope or ambition or self-worth, so be on constant alert.

An especially effective way to keep self pity alive is to begin identifying yourself as a victim. Thinking of all the people who have wronged you (or your population demographic) over the years. Nursing steady feelings of anger, resentment, unfairness and even rage is one of the best possible ways to keep yourself feeling helpless and pitiful.

If such feelings appear, you must instantly remind yourself of all the reasons why you’re good enough, smart enough, and worthy enough.

Filling your mind with these thoughts will give hope and motivation a place to grow. —-

SO THERE YOU HAVE THEM, the top five behaviors that will keep you down in the dumps, down where all your energies are focused on despair and hopelessness, instead of soaring with the eagles. So remember to check for these five behaviors whenever you are feeling unmotivated.

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich…to study hard, to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common – this is my symphony.”

Walk quietly my friends.