tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243Sat, 05 May 2012 17:30:33 +0000cookingchildhoodturtlemaltaaddictiondunnes storeschiropractorGlenroefamous fivegardaíbookslovely girlsKerry Katonahome and awaychristmasdaniel o'donnellosteopathenvironmentblog awardstoffee crispmad ladblogrushUSAembarrassmentlisbonstationeryfaihot foodrachel weiszangelina jolietoothdrinksneezingporridgefainting goatskim wildeskipstvtabloidscavanworkscarlett johanssonnatalie imbrugliafortune tellerwomen's magazinespapertop 10stupid conversationsunderwearsportmemewisdom toothinjuriesbreakfastdogsanti-rantspoliticsetiquettecaroline morahanjoblesstoiletsgymprankrantsmy album covercatspensaccidentsex and the cityoatssmithwicksdaft newscarrielorraine keanelingeriefartsbuffoonsthe pipestauntonfoodholidayscinemacavan colawokmensinglemindeddentistmethaneIrish mediascobiesteflbloggingordinary-looking womenthiefcowsA cow that barks and a dog that says moo...http://www.terencemcdanger.com/noreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)Blogger183125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-1115622134402922991Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:54:00 +00002010-01-18T22:08:38.457ZI just don't know what to do with myse-he-helf. I think, with all this very specific lack of direction in my life, I'm becoming progressively more addled and turning into a cardigan-wearing combover like Bryn offof Gavin and Stacey, complete with the misplaced sense of own funniness. This morning, for instance, I finally struck on the method to prepare perfect porridge in the microwave. There'shttp://www.terencemcdanger.com/2010/01/ever-decreasing-circles.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)15<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/RSy0jctExHI" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-8020701361113482477Wed, 06 Jan 2010 20:52:00 +00002010-01-06T21:02:06.058ZChew on this! I kinda got going and couldn't stop... The Start Where were you on New Years? If you mean the one just gone, I was in Dublin, roaring drunken abuse at parked cars in the vain hope one might be a taxi. If you mean the previous crossover point at which 2008 became 2009, I was in Cavan pretending I wasn't mad at someone. Did you drink? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Did you http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2010/01/q-and-and-review-of-2009-but-then-it.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)10<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/Q0Jfr4YPQTk" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-8027103567841029930Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:44:00 +00002009-12-17T13:48:34.264ZToday, remaining fully committed to the blog, I've been wracking my brains for something to write. I started off a post called "Stupid tee-shirts sicken my hole", which was about men who wear teeshirts with stuff like "Well, it ain't gonna suck itself" and "Tell your tits to stop staring at me" written across the chest. Apparently they think it's funny. I do not. But the post just got really, http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/12/top-10-movies-with-cows-in-title-mostly.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)15<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/F-EyVNnyfwg" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-6004498597407399307Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:22:00 +00002009-12-14T20:50:55.652ZStill single. By choice. Girls are proving useful and thoughtful allies in this regard, giving me a very wide berth and stridently refusing to have anything sexual to do with me during this period of self-denial. I attempt to fall off the wagon very frequently but those girls, samartians that they are, just scoop me up, pop me back on it and hit the horse a fearsome wallop on the arse to keep me http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/12/status-update.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)22<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/KQ8xPF2NMgM" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-6039466937088724011Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:54:00 +00002009-10-13T22:57:21.695+01:00rantsThe bluebottles. Sure they have me only demented entirely. The fat, zing-pinging crazy bluearse little bastards. The daft, dirty, harebrained, erratic infuriating fuckers. In unemployment, I spend so much time at home now, most of it with my head spinning like a madcap meerkat as I stand there all squinty and seething and bitter with a rolled up Buy and Sell, swatting and windmilling at them http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/10/i-hate-bluebottles.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)22<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/hkYka9kQk2w" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-1649423377260869630Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:36:00 +00002009-09-29T16:44:43.210+01:00joblesswork Are you available for and actively seeking employment Terence? Okay, so she made me promise not to tell anyone and I did solemnly swear and all that but I want to put this out there to recognise a kindess, or for Karmic reasons, or whatever. And because I fancied her a wee bit too. Right. This week I went into the Social Welfare office, got signed up and signed on, and they have me approved http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/09/nat-king-karma.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)11<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/RDytrruUF-4" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-4346274362060398320Fri, 25 Sep 2009 19:37:00 +00002009-09-25T20:58:13.443+01:00anti-rantsI'm keeping the good side out today. If I was a fried egg, I'd be sunny side up. So...here are a few more of my favourite things, because, well, because we all bitch and whine too much. Therefore, without further ado, je te presente the next in my long-running series of heavily hyphenated, feel-good, group hug perk-me-up and ruffle-me-hair like a Jack-the-Lad (drumroll)...anti-rants. 1. Jaffa http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/09/favourite-things-more-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)7<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/bHGA-GWOtm4" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-2318542644479753563Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:36:00 +00002009-09-23T23:36:38.862+01:00Apologies in advance for hammering this numbers theme to death and all that, but it seems good things do happen in threes, even turty threes. Up trees as well sometimes. Other times, on all fours. I can't think of anything for fives but sure feck it, I should have stopped before now anyway. So, anyway, yeah, I just had myself three birthdays. That's why I disappeared for a few days there. I was http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/09/three-birthdays-and-helicopter.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)6<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/ZxgMaPrOF98" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-3788839720648202244Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:57:00 +00002009-09-15T21:01:22.771+01:00Whee! It's me! And today I'm turning turty tree! Yep. I've just turned the grand old age of 33. Same age as Jesus. In earth years like. And the same age as Abi Titmuss too! (In dog years). Regrets I have a few. Principally I really can't believe I wasted the best part of my 32s by not blogging. They were my peak years. I'll never get those posts back you know.   Interestingly, well maybe nothttp://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/09/turty-tree.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)14<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/nX6Hn-yPVeQ" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-6879529477839764415Mon, 14 Sep 2009 12:39:00 +00002009-09-16T15:42:33.651+01:00cavandrinkI'm afraid of wasps. Ever since our 50-year-old neighbour suffered the indignity of being stung on the balls in bed one night, by a vagrant wasp hanging out in his PJs, I've lived in fear of them. True story. Last night, for instance, I was in the pub down here in Cavan, drinking Mexican beer that was brewed in Belgium, and talking to a lad from Belfast called Dave about his dog called Dandy http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/09/i-hate-wasps.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)12<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/dZu2nHqEfHQ" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-4145149917825337967Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:08:00 +00002009-09-29T14:23:07.709+01:00joblessworkbloggingteflWell why not? Everyone's reforming. If it's good enough for The Spice Girls, Boyzone and Take That, then it's good enough for me. They're all at it these days. It is truly the age of the reformation my friends, get on board or get left behind. Don't mind Oasis like - sure, they've flipped the logic and have split up, but it's just so they can wait a few years and then reform; having lived the http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/09/mcdanger-reforms.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)17<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/MLLgZPUJOyw" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-1527875575114702766Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:45:00 +00002009-06-03T21:45:01.009+01:00First thing I saw on the Ramblas right after my previous post? The things you see in Barca? How's about a 50-something man and his mate, both bollock naked but for some underwear tatoos (I know, underwear tatoos, Jasus), strolling down the street without a care in the world. And hear this, one of them had a huuuuge willy. He walked ahead of me down the street slapping and flopping from thigh to http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/06/bullets-from-barca.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)16<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/LLq4knQeuj0" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-6335202305115858743Tue, 26 May 2009 10:01:00 +00002009-05-26T11:05:52.182+01:00Oooooh! Oooooh! Gibber! Gibber! Excitement!! Boing boing! Happy happy! Bouncy bouncy! I'm in Barcelona! Ooooooh! Aaaaaaaah! I'm very happy about it as you can tell, and as if to prove the point I'm calling in more vowels than a very inexperienced contestant on Countdown. I'm having such a good time already. Well no, I'm not actually, I've just arrived at the hotel and the room's not ready. http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/05/collection-of-nonsense-syllables-about.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)10<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/I1H6HdiEZUY" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-106634604179423988Wed, 20 May 2009 15:49:00 +00002009-05-20T16:56:58.494+01:00A quizzical double take, and a very appropriate Labrador puppy-like tilt of the head, was his response when he noticed it for the first time. Never one to delay any longer than strictly necessary in this aisle of the supermarket - because of his neurotic belief that nobody but nobody else in all of Dublin does disgusting stuff like pooing or using arsewipe - he couldn’t but focus in on the http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/05/buttered-rump.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)23<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/DvUuZ11nSRI" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-6306534986826882500Sat, 16 May 2009 10:31:00 +00002009-05-16T11:35:43.180+01:00Politics is a very serious business. So is comedy. To continue this incisive comparison, "a week is a long time in politics" and wouldn't you know it, also in comedy, as anyone who had to sit through one of Ronnie Corbett's monologues as a child will attest. To delve still deeper, it was my old friend (Randolph Silliman Bourne, seriously, he was savage craic with a few on him) who said of the http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/05/day-politics-was-funny.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)12<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/lZdW3f07TsQ" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-1379933891270418247Wed, 13 May 2009 14:17:00 +00002009-05-13T15:20:17.795+01:00(Con'd) Fuuuuuck man we thought the Swanlinbar gigs in '71 were wild out but we found the real mountainy people down in South America. And boy did we put the rock into those mountains. Listen, there's too many mental highlights to list and most are just half-drugged mirages anyway, but a definite standout was the charity gig we played for a team of sexy Uruguyan synchronized swimmers. http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/05/when-somethings-and-something-elses_13.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)8<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/wW12P0r4GHc" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-5734576415088272730Mon, 11 May 2009 21:15:00 +00002009-05-11T22:28:40.180+01:00I was off work today. Got a bit bored and stuff. So I booked meself four nights in Barcelona for the end of the month. Just like that. I can't wait to get back there, it's a great city. I'll plonk me arce at the bar in Barcelona alright, and if it's anything like last time, I won't be a lona. Except if I do jokes like that... So, who's coming with me then?http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/05/booked.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)15<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/1Ou2AyH9sBE" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-465672375745891800Fri, 08 May 2009 15:33:00 +00002009-05-08T16:33:12.797+01:00Secondary school. Cavan. Me and the lads had a band, and we tried real hard. It was the summer of '69. But Jimmy was shit, Jody caught rabies, I shoulda known we'd never get far, at least until we cut those two wankers and got some real artistes together. Yeah well, we would do just that, and how. It wasn't so much a teenage fad as a sense of mission. We wanted to make real music. Real music http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/05/when-somethings-and-something-elses.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)7<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/l4H9VKWwjxY" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-67028967234245484Wed, 06 May 2009 14:35:00 +00002009-05-06T15:35:12.600+01:00Just time for a quick one today. Failing that however, I'll write a short blog instead. I was in Cavan there at the weekend after a long time away from the motherland, and got a timely reminder of the effortless poetry woven through the lyrical cadences of my countymen's speech. Brother McDanger and I were in the Chinese after the pub, where most of our vast literary canon is conceived in the http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/05/ides-of-march-and-cavan-poetry.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)13<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/eTU2NIEzjII" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-2082245247763001745Fri, 01 May 2009 14:43:00 +00002009-05-02T16:31:47.980+01:00Where, when, why, and how. My English teacher in secondary school told me to always launch my essays using that springboard. He wasn't one for the experimentation like, but then again, who was I to argue the toss on aesthetics? He was six foot six in height, built like a brick shithouse, had JCB scoops for hands and when you misbehaved he was wont to lift you from your chair using your sidehair http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/05/imaginitive-composition.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)18<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/etrUaLmyQmc" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-817135381643327310Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:22:00 +00002009-05-04T22:00:00.757+01:00rantsIf this was Shakespeare, and Lord knows I get close here sometimes especially when talking about farts - as in, "Blow wind, and crack thy cheeks" etc. - then I'd have to say I was "drunk with choler." Frissons of rage dance in the air. Grumble. I failed my NCT today. I say 'I' because even though technically it was the car that failed - aye, technically and then some - I'm taking it personally http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/04/anger.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)16<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/vyvBpryj0nA" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-7720754450075060497Fri, 24 Apr 2009 10:06:00 +00002009-05-04T22:00:49.566+01:00memeOh I tell you what, back in the old days the ould fellas down the back at Mass would chuckle and rub their hands as they described her, with knowing winks, as "a popular sort" or "fierce friendly". Yes. Nowadays we call them dirty fucking slutbag whores. Yeah. This blog post is a dirty fucking slut. You're a whore of a blog. You're a dirty fucking whore. Yeah. You're dirty. You little whore. Ihttp://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/04/all-aboard-town-bike.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)12<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/C2hDl_OeVCI" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-3772788827955962097Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:30:00 +00002009-05-04T22:02:07.046+01:00foodI don't eat crisps (very often) except when I have a hangover (today) so I'm not very au fait with trends and fashions in the fast-shifting flavours world. I am vaguely aware though that there has been a general shift away from the fundamentalist tastes of our youth like cheese and onion, towards a more eclectic cast like Thai Sweet Chili and cracked blackpeppercorn buffalo wing barbecue beef andhttp://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/04/crisping-evening.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)22<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/gdd9n8_nW_4" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-1344956818913092364Mon, 20 Apr 2009 11:33:00 +00002009-04-20T13:48:35.378+01:00C'mere to me 'til I tell you.You know how girls have two boobs and one of them, when studied carefully (insert joke here) is generally found to be a different size, or perhaps perched higher or swinging lower than the other? And how nipples often look in different directions as well, like lovers after a tiff?You're probably also aware then, that men generally have one of their testicoolers http://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/04/sweat-differential-conundrum.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)13<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/Mg-AYElPfLs" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35236243.post-3132029931363032846Tue, 14 Apr 2009 20:33:00 +00002009-04-15T17:39:15.503+01:00Stephens Green in the still of the night. Awwww....Easter was great! The Saturday fell on the Monday, the Sunday fell on a Tuesday and now the Bank Holiday Monday falls today.Me, I fell on the Monday night. Twice. In mitigation, there was drink taken.Ah, the mad fuckeduppedness of it all. Having missed all the normal nights out over the weekend it was somewhat odd to be skipping giddily about thehttp://www.terencemcdanger.com/2009/04/multicultural-and-common-market.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Terence McDanger)14<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/terencemcdanger/rOuY/~4/0_HQEDrzVHs" height="1" width="1"/>