You can never go wrong with a good rock. The Marine Corps is definitely the only time in my life I have ever looked at a rock with an intention of longing. To put it in perspective, it’s the only time I’ve been in such a shitty situation that I’ve looked at a rock and went, “Oh man, that looks like a comfy rock.”

If there’s one thing I miss about the military, it’s the somewhat mystic ability to fall asleep anywhere. As a civilian now, I have to fight for some shuteye when I’m tired as hell. While on active duty, I was generally worn out enough every day that simply leaning up against a wall was not only a suitable place to sleep, but a damn good one. One could easily call it narcolepsy by any medical standard. Whatever happens when we step on those yellow footprints, you can be sure that as long as you have cammies on you will never have trouble falling asleep. There were Marines that would even fall asleep standing up without a single fuck given in the slightest.

One could spend an entire day talking about the various ways and techniques for sleeping they’ve acquired over the years of fieldwork and deployments. Every Marine packs their own special combination of bivvy-sacks and sleeping bags; every Marine has some ritual for their slumber in field. Some prefer not to bring any sleeping bags, others can’t leave the barracks without the black one. Some need a pillow, others just need to find a good rock.

For the strip, I’ve become more and more attracted to ideas without dialog. I suppose I’ve also been thinking more in terms of panel design lately since I’ve been in a graphic novel study class, where we literally read and make comics every time. Don’t worry, this kind of strip won’t happen every time, but I do enjoy them more.

In other news, I apologize for my absence last week. I took the week to myself… well… really my illness took my week from me. What started as a high fever and a cough quickly turned into a pretty bad case of pneumonia. I’ve since gotten treatment, and after a 103 degree fever that lasted 5 days straight I’m happy to say that I’m feeling much better. It would have been impossible to actually produce a strip, I could barely stop shaking from the chills, and when I took meds to lower my fever I would sweat uncontrollably. Overall, it was a horrible week.

Lastly, it’s possible I’ll be at ImageCon this weekend in Oakland, CA. I’ll keep the FB and Twitter updated with whether or not that’s happening, it will depend greatly on how much work I have to do (which has stacked up, since I missed all of last week). If I do go, it will most likely be for just one day.

Anyway, with that said, I hope you all have a great week and don’t forget to get your flu shot, nasty.

Sorry but there’s no new strip today, as consolation please accept this past Marine Corps Times strip as compensation. Why is there no new strip you ask? What travesty hath Max brought upon the land?! Honestly, I’m just sick as hell. After a trip to the ER on Sunday and the last couple of days rotting in bed, I just haven’t been able to muster up enough of anything to actually produce a new strip.

But hey, don’t forget, you can read new and original Terminal Lance strips in the Marine Corps TImes newspaper every week! Feel free to check out their site as well for constant updates on Marine Corps issues.

Also, you can keep up to date with me via my Twitter feed and Tumblr, if you’re into those sorts of things.

Scout Snipers are not Nazi’s.

If you don’t know what this strip is about, you probably haven’t read or seen the news all over the place that people are freaking out about a photo of a Scout Sniper platoon that features an “SS” flag akin to that of the Nazi SS.

You can read about the story here.

Honestly, I don’t think the Marines intended the flag to have any Nazi affiliation, I think they just thought it was a really cool way to write “SS” on a flag. I’m Jewish, and while I understand why people are upset about it, I don’t think they meant any harm.

It’s not often you’ll see anyone start a sentence with, “One thing that was pretty cool about Nazis,” but I’d like to be the first you’ve read today to say: One thing that was pretty cool about Nazis was their fashion. No one can dispute the absolute horror and disgusting reality of the Nazi party, but black leather, lightning bolts and skulls are pretty badass, and have actually inspired some modern fashion trends.

With that said, there’s really only so much you can say to defend the choice to use a Nazi logo on a flag underneath the American Colors. Of course it’s wrong. Of course it’s stupid. They should have known better, yadda yadda; we’ve all heard it before (and especially recently). But really, everyone knows stuff like this goes on every day, it only matters when the media catches hold of it and blows it up. I doubt half of the people in Scout Snipers even knew it was a Nazi logo, and I’m pretty sure it’s been used by numerous Scout Sniper units in the past. On that note, however, there’s some things you should just avoid: and anything inspired by Nazis is probably a good place to start.

In any case, I’m sure Public Affairs has been having a blast lately.

I’m sure this comic will be misinterpreted by some, but it’s actually more of a jab at the infantry than the Wing. For whatever reason, Grunts have a hard time comprehending (or caring about) any MOS that doesn’t begin with “03″. Whenever grunts find themselves in the odd position of being introduced or talking to a POG, as soon as they begin describing their MOS the grunt will revert to what I call “Grunt Mode”. Grunt Mode is a complete inability to give a shit about anything that doesn’t involve someone getting shot or blowing something up.

It’s not that grunts are stupid. Many, including myself, have very high test scores across the board and generally are just as capable as anyone else in this regard. Culturally, though, the average grunt is very separated from the POG world. In the grunt world, every MOS begins with “03″, and if you meet someone that doesn’t have this moniker, interest suddenly flies out the window and dies. It’s a strange paradigm, because some POG MOS’s are actually pretty cool and interesting; but good luck getting the average grunt to care about it.

Oh hey, did you know I have a book?

It'll get you laid

Click the image to buy the book!

On that note, special thanks to UK model Rae for being such an awesome girl and loving awesome comics. You can also find her in last month’s FHM.

Also, special thanks to Aaron for helping me out with the MOS “6074″.

I’m just going to be blunt: MCI’s are stupid. (Marine Corps Institution courses, commonly referred to as “MCI’s”)

Well, perhaps not so much the MCI’s as much as the system in place that says doing them increases your cutting score. No… wait… the MCI’s are stupid too.

For those of you unfamiliar with MCI’s, they’re red course booklets that every Marine has to pretend to do if they want to pick up Corporal. No one cares about them, no one takes them seriously, and they do nothing for you outside of boosting your score. They are the same kind of ancient relic of an idea like the Commandant’s Reading List and high and tight haircuts. Doing them looks good on paper, and little else. It wouldn’t be a problem if they hadn’t been inducted into the cutting score system, but since they are, you very literally can’t attain the next rank without doing them.

MCI’s are just one of those things about the Corps that needs to go away. The entire idea of it is outdated and silly. Corporal Belt-Buckle’s dumb ass can solve his own fucking problems. Marines rarely even actually read the damned things and half the Corps cheats on them anyway. “Spelling for Marines” has never improved a Marine’s spelling, “Personal Financial Management” doesn’t stop Marines from blowing their combat pay on a Dodge Charger and marrying a stripper, and “Math for Marines” just doesn’t need to exist.

I would go into how they could be replaced with more updated, modern solutions; but honestly they don’t even need to be here at all.

Okay, so maybe the strip is a little extreme… But then again, it is a cartoon.

If there’s one thing I don’t miss about morning PT, it’s the dreadfully foul sound of a Marine expelling the previous night’s binge of pizza and beer. It happens all the time, whether the poor Marine is out of shape or simply hung over. My favorite part about this event (and it is an event) is the reaction of the Marines around them.

Never will you find the sympathetic comfort of a friend, patting you on the back and offering to clean you up. If you find yourself spewing the contents of your internal organs onto the concrete, you are undoubtedly going to be met with congratulatory cheering and laughter. “GET SOME!” is one that is best and commonly used when running past a Marine that is speaking dinosaur. The simple fact is, no one really cares, and for the most part it’s pretty entertaining to watch your friends suffer a little. It is, ultimately, out of love.

As for this strip, I really wanted to do another one without dialog. I find that kind of humor to be the most interesting, as dialog is often a crutch for the writer without skill. I also just thought it would be fun to play with the comic format for this one; probably due to my recent involvement in a graphic novel course at my school, as it’s gotten me thinking a little more deeply about the conventions of comics in general.

In other news, I saw The Grey this weekend and I loved it. I won’t bore you with a long review, as you can find a number of those on other websites. I will say that it is a beautifully done film that is only an exposition of “man versus nature” on the surface, and beneath you’ll find a film that delves much deeper into themes of manhood and death itself. It was probably the most satisfying film I’ve seen in a while, but it may just be because the last one I saw was Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, which looked really cool in trailer-form. Unfortunately, it was actually about as cool as Gary Oldman’s balls dangling above your face for 3 hours. To be honest, I may have preferred that–at least Gary Oldman’s balls would’ve been mildly entertaining.

Lastly, buy my book. No balls.

If there’s one thing that can be said about the experience that is joining the Marines, it’s that your friends back home won’t understand a damn bit of it. For every life-altering experience you may have, good and bad, your friends back home will largely be the same way they were when you left them. Your friends will be doing the same things–going to school, not going to school, working, etc., while you’ll be barraged with culture shock and do things that none of them will probably ever have to worry about.

You’ll meet new people, see new things–new worlds even; and they won’t even begin to understand it. Going home will never be the same again, and being home for too long finds you in the precarious position of wishing you were gone again. The very idea of home becomes a distant memory, because it’s never the same as it was. It’s not that home has changed, in fact it’s remained largely the same. Sure, maybe some new stores or restaurants popped up while you were gone, but it’s hardly any different.

What’s really changed is you… and you’ll never be the same again. But hey, that’s okay. Regular people live regular lives, and you’ve lived anything but. What’s really important is that you try your best not to alienate everyone at home, and if you need help with it, don’t be afraid to seek it. Your friends and family will never understand, but they can try if you give them a chance.

I couldn’t help but notice, recently, when I turned on the news and found that some desk-jockey was once again telling me how someone killed some people. Except, it wasn’t just someone, it was an “Ex-Marine Iraq Veteran”, because that’s obviously really important to know right? If you didn’t know that, how would you protect yourself from the other ruthless war-machine kill-monsters that obviously are roaming the streets, juiced up on Rip-Its and PTSD?

Luckily, you don’t have to!

For every one asshole veteran that the news tells you killed someone, there’s about a million other veterans that go about their daily lives without killing anyone or anything. We all know that the news likes to focus on the negative, but the unfortunate consequence of this labeling is that it simply goes to enforce the stereotypes that undereducated civilians may have on the subject. You don’t see the news labeling races or other peoples ex-jobs every time they commit a crime, because it doesn’t matter. Being a veteran, even a war-veteran, could have absolutely nothing to do with violent behavior. It’s very possible that this person was just a giant dick-head.

In other news, I think last week’s 0352 comic upset about half the audience. The other half was like, “it’s true”. Can’t please em all right?

If there’s one game that can attract the vitriol and hate of fanboys everywhere, it’s Modern Warfare 3. Despite rave reviews and the Call of Duty series’ innovation over the last 5 years in console first-person shooters, it has become the poster child of the multi-billion dollar videogame industry and everything negative that that implies.

Modern Warfare 3

What was the answer to this rehashed franchise? Browse the internet for more than 30 seconds and you’ll find your answer: Battlefield 3.

Battlefield 3

At E3 2011, Battlefield 3 made a spectacular showing, seemingly putting Modern Warfare 3 to shame in almost every regard from graphics to sound design. Upon release, the game received equally great reviews and everyone was sure it would be the end of the Call of Duty franchise. At least, until Modern Warfare 3 actually released and became one of the best selling video games ever.

But none of that really matters, what really matters is: which one is actually better? Modern Warfare 3 has never really tried to claim anything, but Battlefield 3 released with the tagline “Above the Call of Duty”, an obvious punch at Infinity Ward’s series. Because I was always a fan of the series, I bought MW3 when it was released and held off on getting Battlefield. I found MW3 to be a great game, it was exactly what I was expecting: more Modern Warfare. There were, however, a lot of things about Battlefield that looked appealing. For starters, you play as Marines, and who doesn’t want to do that? Second, there’s vehicles and huge maps–which is a traditional caveat of the series. Having read for a couple months online the elitist BF3 players proclaiming it to be God’s gift to First Person Shooters and the only answer to Modern Warfare, I decided I would give BF3 a try and purchased it for PS3.

Was it actually better than Modern Warfare 3? Were the Facebook comment-jockeys right? Not really.

Battlefield 3 does a lot of great things. Specifically, the graphics engine and sound design are top-notch, second to none, hands-down the most realistic war experience you’ll find. Even so, they aren’t without some minor flaws. Pop-up is very common, textures take a few seconds to load and there’s some strange, small glitches that happen in the graphics every now and then that makes the game feel less polished than it could be. While MW3 may be running on an older engine, the game runs at a constant 60FPS and never slows down. Contrasting this to BF3, where the game runs at a humble 30FPS with some minor drops during heavy action.

Modern Warfare 3′s graphics, as mentioned, are running on an older engine. The game basically looks the same as Modern Warfare 2. With that said, it still doesn’t look bad. In fact, it really doesn’t look bad at all. The early single player mission that finds you on a submarine and escaping on a speedboat is still fairly impressive to look at. What MW3 lacks is BF3′s close attention to realism. You won’t find the dust and smoke of Battlefield here, and the sound design of BF3 makes MW3 just sound kind of lame and empty.

If the Call of Duty series should be credited with anything, its the consistently tight and lightning fast controls. This is one area that Battlefield is seriously lacking in. On the PS3 version, specifically, there’s a controller delay of up to .25 seconds. That doesn’t seem like much, but contrasting this to MW3′s delay of practically none and it makes a huge difference. I found the game still largely playable, but it absolutely does not have the immediacy and accuracy of MW3 with a controller. I’ve read that this isn’t as much of an issue on 360 and PC, but it’s become a huge problem on the PS3 version of the game.

Online features are naturally the biggest draw of both of these games, and in this regard Modern Warfare 3 is just better. It has more modes, more options and more things to do. Modern Warfare 3 has many modes, from the standard Team Deathmatch to the more tactical Search and Destroy, which relies heavily on teamwork and cooperation. BF3 has a co-op mode similar to Spec-Ops in MW3, but it only has a few different kinds of games in multiplayer. You’re basically either playing Rush (an objective-based mode where one team is on offense and another on defense), Conquest (domination in MW3 terms), Squad Deathmatch, or Team Deathmatch. Team Deathmatch, though, removes the vehicles and limits the map size. Take the vehicles and large maps out of BF3 and you’re left with basically a really un-fun, slower version of Modern Warfare 3.

These modes may have sufficed if the console versions supported as many players as the PC version, but PS3 and 360 users are limited to 24-players–which is the same as MW3.

There’s also just some strange design decisions in Battlefield 3 that make the overall experience less enjoyable. For starters, you can’t back out of a game in-between matches. Why not? You actually have to wait for the next match to load, then press start and back out using the menu. In fact, you can’t even adjust your kit during this time, it’s just a results screen. At the very least, in MW3 you’re allowed to adjust your gear, tags and everything else as well as back out of the lobby if you want. You can’t even vote on a new map in between matches, it just goes to whatever is next with no input from the players. Did I mention there’s also no private matches for 360 and PS3? Why not? I have no idea, because Modern Warfare has always allowed players to host their own games.

In general, unlocking new weapons and items is also much slower-going in BF3. I suppose it may be traditional for neckbeard virgins to log in hundreds of hours unlocking the coolest shit evar, but to the average player it just feels like you’re spending a lot of time trying to unlock one or two things at a time. I’m eerily reminded of my time in the Marine Corps, because I’ve been a virtual Lance Corporal now for what feels like forever. Maybe that’s just the game’s intense realism?

The biggest attraction for many to BF3, as well as probably the biggest difference, is the vehicles. The ground vehicles are a lot of fun, who doesn’t love riding around in a tank and laying waste to the enemy base? The air vehicles are… pretty cool. Speaking strictly on the PS3 version here, sometimes I really wish they would have just said fuck realism and go for fun. Flying a jet is pretty damn realistic, but controlling it isn’t fun at all. Assuming you actually get to pilot one, which is almost impossible because everyone wants to, you’ll find that since you only start with machine guns you’ll be flying around aimlessly about the map searching for other jets to shoot at. This mostly consists of flying passes, since the jets are about as maneuverable as a hard-boiled turd. Keeping another flying vehicle centered in your sights is just as much of a pain in the ass though. Realism is great, but games like Warhawk or Blazing Angels did a fantastic (better) job of simplifying the idea of flying for the sake of fun.

With all of that said, MW3 doesn’t have any vehicles, which may or may not matter to you. Does it make it a worse game? No. The game is designed to not have vehicles, the maps are smaller and more geared toward player-versus-player, white-knuckle encounters at close-quarters. With that said, gameplay wise I would say MW3 has some balance issues with insane killstreaks. Often times there will be like 3 helicopters, an air strike, pave-low and UAV missiles flying everywhere. It can get chaotic, but the game lets you play without them if you want.

*Edit: One note I forgot to add is that Battlefield 3 has no local multiplayer. MW3 supports up to 4 players on one TV. Got some friends over? Don’t bother with BF3.

Anyway, this was way longer than I thought it would be. What is the final verdict? Which game should you, as a modern military male spend your money on? I suppose it just depends on how you like to play. Do you like realistic, slower-paced, crawling matches with vehicles and less modes and options? Go for Battlefield! Do you like faster-paced, one-on-one brawls at close quarters, controls tighter than a Japanese virgin and tons of game modes? Go for MW3! I can’t actually say that one is better than the other, but if I had to recommend one for console players, I would honestly have to go with MW3. Graphics and sound be damned, at the end of the day all that matters is which one is actually more fun to play?

There’s kind of an unspoken rule amongst the regular line-company grunts that we all just… kind of hate 0352′s. Well, coming from an 0351 Assaultman, we may feel a little more strongly about it than the rest, but most people either forget that 0352′s exist or just plain don’t like them.

Why?! Why would the brotherhood of the infantry shun one of its members?! I’m generally met with confusion when I tell this to POG’s or civilians. Understandably so, many in the infantry don’t even really understand it–they just know that they would rather not be around them. A big part of this is their cutting scores, which are traditionally laughably low. Contrast this to other 03 MOS’ like Scout Sniper and Recon, which also hold lower cutting scores and aren’t despised in any way. The reason for this is that Scout Sniper and Recon are considered respectable in the sense that it takes extra effort and you have to be an exceptional grunt just to be there in the first place. There’s a mutual understanding that they should be Corporals and Sergeants and no one needs to say anything about it.

I think what gets a lot of other grunts is the fact that the TOW itself is a less-than traditional weapon; and as cool as the Javelin may be in videogames, odds are it isn’t something you’ll ever see fired in real life. This makes the whole MOS just seem kind of pointless and strange to most. As well, like every battalion, there’s always going to be that angry competitive aspect between the line-companies and Weapons Company.

Of course, in all reality they really aren’t any different than anyone else. Like myself, most 0352′s just get turned into machine-gunners overseas any way and become a mounted platoon like so many other grunts of all MOS’s. With that said, it will never seem right that some kid who just got to the fleet can outrank an 0351 that’s been in for years simply because of cutting score. This is of course the result of the ever-broken cutting score system itself, but is easily projected onto those damn 0352′s that inhabit your battalion’s Weapons Co.

In other news, school started this week! Balls deep, my friends. Balls deep.