For as long as I remember being a Marine, I remember having a hate/hate relationship with CIF (Consolidated Issue Facility)–AKA: Satan’s gear locker. CIF is run by civilians, and it’s a pain in everyone’s ass. The system for losing gear with CIF is so mind-numbingly tedious and complicated that they themselves will encourage you to steal what you’re missing from someone else.

I am not full of any shits on this. When I was checking out to go on Terminal, I was missing those black glove shells. You know? The black glove shells? The ones that you’ve probably never used? Yeah, those things are about $30. Money be damned, I take full responsibility for losing them. 4 years in the Marine Corps infantry with 2 deployments to Iraq will see some gear come and go. However, when I told the receptionist that I was checking out and I would be on Terminal in three days time; his actual suggestion from me was that I “get them from someone”. Well, that was after I told him I didn’t have time to jump through the hoops suggested in today’s strip.

To give the employees of CIF some credit though, I doubt the obstacle course of paperwork is their fault. I’m assuming the system itself was thought up by the same great minds that decided your hands can’t go in your pockets when it’s 40 degrees outside and windy.

Outside of CIF, with a new week comes a new print on sale for you all. A high res, glossy print of Terminal Lance #10, autographed by the creator is available now on eBay. There are only 10 prints for sale! Limit one per customer, and yes, I can ship to FPO/AP addresses for you salt dogs overseas. I think this print is long overdue, something you can display proudly in your barracks room during field day inspections. Let First Sergeant know you already know you won’t get promoted, and you don’t care, by displaying this with pride. View the prints for sale here.

Something else that it long overdue is me posting these photos from my home battalion, 3rd Battalion 3rd Marines, currently in Afghanistan. A couple of months ago, Combat Artist Michael Fay spent a month overseas with them and brought back some Terminal Lance photos to share. These are straight from downrange, Marines throwing up that hand signal (slightly modified). I’m glad to see that Marines everywhere are enjoying the comic, and that they’re just as proud as I was to be a Terminal Lance.

Unfortunately I don’t have full caption info for these Marines, but if you spot a buddy on there feel free to email it to me and I’ll throw it up here.

Remember, being a “Terminal Lance” doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a Lance Corporal. You just have to be a Marine. A Marine that can see through the bullshit. I’ve met plenty of good honest SNCO’s in my time that I would consider Terminal Lances. Any Marine can be one, so please, don’t let the rank fool you. Throw up that hand signal and be proud!

On that note, I’ll see you all on Friday.

I mentioned before I don’t typically like to use pop-culture references in my jokes. For the most part, I feel this way because in order for it to be funny, target audience has to be familiar with what you’re talking about. For those of you unfamiliar with “Double Rainbow Guy”, please, take a look at this video (Note: Must be appreciated with audio):

I’ve been getting quite  a bit of enjoyment out of this video lately, so I figured I’d share it with you all. As well, I really wanted to do a follow up sequel to Terminal Lance #22, which is a fan favorite. I think picking on officers from the lower enlisted standpoint is pretty easy, and hence good humor universally throughout a platoon or company. After all, if you can’t all make fun of your higher ups in command of you, what are you going to make fun of? And officers, don’t take it personally. It is as they say: if you’re not being made fun of by your platoon, you’re doing it wrong.

With that said, I don’t want officers to get the wrong idea here. I never really hated them, but like I mentioned, they are easy targets. Still though, in all reality, the Captain (or “Skipper” for you salt dogs) is always the last one to the formation. Usually about 30 minutes later than he originally called for. Some people blame this on “Gunny Time”, but personally I think they just have problems being punctual. God forbid though, the day you’re late to see him–your ass will be non-rec’d and Page 11′d faster than a female in the grunt barracks realizes she probably made a bad decision.

In other site news, there’s still 4 more prints left of Terminal Lance #30 located here on eBay. Check it out! As always, the prints are hand autographed and numbered by myself, the creator of Terminal Lance.

I start my classes at CCA next week, which I’m pretty excited about. The orientation got me all school moto, but I’m sure that will die once I’m laden with 30lbs of assignments due before morning. Word to the wise though regarding the GI Bill for those of you getting out soon and “going to school”:

Don’t rely on the GI Bill to save your ass, it’s slow and tedious getting everything working in harmony. Have savings set aside for moving in and first month’s rent, and enough to get you through the month. Remember, the GI Bill pays you for the month once the month is OVER–which is great, seeing as rent is usually due on the first. -_-

Well until next time, gents. Keep your dicks clean and your socks changed… or something.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260658680792#ht_500wt_1154

Sorry no free shipping this time, I don’t have the same perks in California I had in Oregon.

As I recall, I believe most of my time in the Marine Corps was spent looking forward to what lay ahead. Often times, these visions and optimistic ideas of what the future held proved themselves to be untrue. It seemed like no matter where I was in my 4 year enlistment, I was always looking forward to the next thing, because the current thing always sucked. Eventually, I realized this is just how the Marine Corps is. The current thing always sucks, but you stick around because you have the idea that it will get better. It usually doesn’t, but it’s good to have dreams.

After doing some Facebook recon, I’ve decided I will sell prints of Terminal Lance #30, the Lance Corporal Food Pyramid. Look forward to this strip going on sale this week! As well, I will try to add some new things to the Terminal Lance Store this week, shirts of sorts.

Things are about to start getting busier for me, and I’m very happy about it. This summer has dragged on long enough, I would like to start my classes already and be done with it. Once again though, things are always better when you’re looking forward to them. I’m sure, much like the Marine Corps, I’ll be looking forward to the term to end once I’m actually in the swing of things. However, I prefer to remain optimistic regarding this. I feel like my art has gotten rusty, and I’m looking forward to a good refresher.

On the note of art, I have a few projects up my sleeve. For one, I have an idea for a series of oil paintings. I don’t know what I’ll do with them, or what they’ll be for, but I’m going to do them regardless. Marine Corps oil paintings… I’ll be sure to put them up on the site when they’re finished–possibly even put them up for sale if I deem it worth it. In any case, look forward to some more updates soon.

At this point I’m just kind of rambling to myself, but all is well in Terminal Lancedom. My wife and I are settled in our new apartment, to include Charlie the Dog. On a lighter note, we found a live turtle in the parking lot today. Being the softy I am, I took it in and ended up releasing it to a habitat of ponds and lakes shortly after. There was a man fishing next to me when I did, eying whatever mysterious activities I was doing. I told him, “I found it in the parking lot.”

He said, “Well, I guess that’s your good deed for the day then!” with a smile.

I know it’s really boot to bring up bootcamp, but so many funny and stupid things come out of there it’s hard to resist. One specific thing I remember being especially stupid was the “knife-hand”*. Never, anywhere in the Marine Corps, have I ever seen the knife-hand so flagrantly used. I always took note, however, that the higher the knife-hand is on the drill instructor, the more pissed off he is. The knife-hand itself not actually even pointing at the victim, but sometimes even directly at the sky in front of their face.

So I don’t officially get internet installed in my apartment until tomorrow, but I decided it was time to bring in another strip and try to start returning things to normal around here. Thankfully, the Starbucks a block away has been a great help in all my internet endeavors.

I have some plans for the site once I do have regular access to internet, and I’m working on some special things. Stay tuned in the following weeks for some new additions. I don’t actually start classes for another couple of weeks, so hopefully I can get some work done once I finally get some internet up and running again.

*For those of you unfamiliar with the “Knife-Hand”, it is a very repeated and mind-numbing thing you are forced to do with your hands in bootcamp. The definition of which, five-fingers straight and aligned, as depicted by the comic. You had to turn your hands into knives for just about every activity involving your hands, from pushups to MCMAP. I’ve heard justification for the knife-hand ranging from saluting to how you’re supposed to point at things in middle-eastern countries.

Edit:

And one more thing:

FML

Stellar work, Marines of OP Reggie Topa.

Well I still have no internet in my new apartment, but that doesn’t stop me from sitting in my car in a closed Starbucks parking lot and connecting via free WiFi!

I’m sure I look shady as fuck, but regardless, I came here to drop off this little bit of Terminal Lance goodness for you all. It’s not quite the real thing, but something to show you all I still love you. I don’t have a whole lot to say regarding this sketchbook entry, but look forward to this shirt entering the Terminal Lance store once I have the interwebs hooked up in my new apartment.

In any case, hopefully I’ll be up and running again soon. See you shortly.

As of now, I’m just mooching some Starbucks AT&T Free WiFi for the time being.

Thank you all for your patience, life is a bitch.

PS: Check out the Marine Corps Times this week for a story featuring an interview with yours truly!

Anyway, have a good week and I’ll see you soon!