Riot of ideas

Not a post about iPad Air

2013-10-23T04:43:00.000+05:30

I believe that Apple being the tech giant that it is, has been working on iterating their previous products to showcase to the world, another one of their "NEW" inventions to the world. Well this post is not about that but about what the company called Zimplistic has to offer to the world.

Having been a student living away from my home for a while now, I had to adapt myself to cooking for myself a lot. Most of the Indian food I have cooked in the recent past has been accompanied with rice. The physique that was attained from this eating habit, exhibited the possibilities of buying packed cold rotis from the Indian store. So today I was presented with Zimplistic's invention that makes rotis for you from scratch by just adding flour, water and oil to its loading dock.

The possibilities of people away from home(i.e. India) using this are endless and I would like to attach the video below to speak for itself here.

Just saying hello again to everyone who had been a part of reading this blog. I may find some time to write more about my experiences in NYC soon.

Sgt Scott Lewis

2013-01-08T12:42:00.001+05:30

As I was new to the city of New York I wandered trying to find the right place, the right locality and the pad of my dreams. Little did I know I would come across craigslist . I narrowed down to a few places. Some too good to be true. I called up the first number in the list - Sgt. Scott Lewis. Considering him to be an elite trooper I paid respect through my conversation over the phone. Sometime later I receive a text implying he was in Afghanistan on a peace keeping mission.

After thorough discussion we decide on a date to meet and look at the place which on first look seemed too good to be true. Then he responds with an odd request for transferring $10 for every visitor that enters his house to view the place. Desperate to find a place I cave in by saying YES. Then he says he'd prefer if I wired the money to his account. My guards on I google the fuck out of his name and find innumerable references to scams in his name.

Though I know it's been a long time I would like to share the email address nonetheless so it would come up if someone tried to google search him again.

sgtscottl@yahoo.com

And in the end I did send him a text posing as a cop and end the conversation with his number being traced.
If he isn't present at the police station tomorrow there will be a warrant issued against his name.

Guess it might have set him back for sometime at least.

iLost no more

2012-12-13T16:40:00.001+05:30

With the release of the new Google Maps on iOS today I see no reason for you or any of your fellow travelers to be lost anymore.

This all began with creating a better system to navigate this globe. Columbus was the only person who was happy getting lost. Apart from him you will never come across ANYONE who would voluntarily want to land up in the middle of a deserted national park. Also the Australian police had to rescue 6 people from the middle of the national park. So its no surprise that they've warned motorists from using iOS maps in Australia.

So fret no more my fellow Apple lovers, who are caught up with your user experience so much that you never begin to notice the little detail called "Google always kick Apple's butt at real life applications".

Try this for starters : "Google Voice Search on Android" and "Siri search". ( After you are done fixing her for 'Did you mean .... ?' come back and post your review here.

[Download link for Google Maps on iOS]

5 things for you to do when you are drunk

2011-07-28T01:10:00.007+05:30

Call a random number : Well you might as well make use of the opportunity that you've in hand . You could probably bump into some you always wanted to meet . Meet the one you've always wanted to be with . Though it is highly unexpected that you meet someone you actually want to but still who gives a heck that you meet him/her or not , still worth a try calling them up in the middle of the night and telling them that its a wrong number . Well it is forbidden to do so if you are already committed to someone so better be ready to face the music if you're caught doing so .
Listen to classical music : Yes it might sound very awkward to you right now since you ain't high enough but yes you should totally try this one when you are tipsy . You'll have this feeling of being highly elated with extra attention to the lyrics that start stacking in your head . You could always add a bit of dance to those lyrics my man - perhaps a small treat for the onlookers .
Wait for your ride at a local bar : You were expecting to get a ride back home but NO in this particular city you won't get a ride until you are are living somewhere in South Mumbai so stop cribbing and wait for you ride to drop you back home . You will always love the ride back since you can get along with your cab driver and get to know about the real problems in his life that he is facing e.g. His problem with the hernia that he just had extracted .
Drunk Texting / Blogging ( Courtesy - White Bhabhi ) : You were expecting to tell someone that you've been waiting to tell them for a long time but you never had the balls to do it . So I guess this is where you go do it . You pick up your phone/laptop and write to whomsoever it may concern that they are not actually doing so well atleast not in your perspective . And if they ever disapprove you could just get away with telling them you were drunk .
Go do a Amy Winehouse : This one is totally out of context ; never to be performed but if you really want it then try it once . Get yourself so drunk that the more you try to think about last night it never occurs to you that there was actually a last night at all .

P.S. No intentions for hurting the sentiments of the dead being caused here . Amy Winehouse was a great artist indeed .

The will to move on

2011-07-18T21:27:00.002+05:30

A few days ago I made a promise to myself that I would blog about a lot of things everyday . But that promise did not stand its ground for too long . The most I could write about is some funny things here and some there but last week after the serial blasts in Mumbai I had nothing to build my conversations to . I feared that a lot of sentiments were attached to this city that never sleeps .

People hailing from different parts of the country stepped in this city of hope expecting to earn their daily bread . Yes ' hope' , strange but that was exactly what kept them going . A hope for a better living . But now those are accompanied by fear . The fear of living their dream while they stay alive . We ought to know the enemy is within us . Staying aware about any suspicious activities in and around our neighbourhood is what we need to work on . That extra mile needs to be traveled to keep ourselves safe . A family shall bless you for being the person who saved the day , every-fucking-day of their lives !

Seven Deadly Sins

2011-07-11T02:45:00.005+05:30

If you are from Mumbai and wish to travel in a train , there are somethings you need to make note of . One , it is impossible to board a train during rush hours ( before 9am and after 5pm ) and two , that you need to flex your body in positions that only an olympic gymnast could ever think of . Here below I have listed a few 'aasanas' to help you get through the travel if you plan to board the train .

1. Tandava Aasana :

This is quite similar to the mythological tandav nritya . Exactly the way lord shiva stood on one foot to work his magic here you follow suit to the posture . Practicing this will give you more space to protect your un-mentionables and also if you wish to protect your shoe shine from being stamped you just keep switching your foot . But a word of caution is don't get into the football spirit and kick somebody cause once you do that not even lord shiva can save you now .

2. Ek tang yaha ek tang waha Aasana :

After following this posture only a few survived to recite the tale . You place one leg close to you and the next leg goes through the crowd and into a spot where there is an inch of space remaining . Again this is practiced by trained professionals everyday so if you plan to pull this one off you better reach that vacant spot before anyone else does . Timing is the key.

3. Spoon Aasana / Snake Aasana :

As awkward it may sound it is exactly the position you need to form like a spoon . This again is a god gifted solution for the queers because the possibilities of being fornicated are endless . You wouldn't like it so much if you were straight though . It could cause you irreparable emotional trauma of things sliding up your back .

4. The Pharaoh Aasana :

The egyptian drawings that you'd see all through your childhood have motivated you enough to try the positions someday . Now is your chance to actual put it to some use . Normally this occurs when you get one of your feet in a safespot and the other is hanging mid air cause some idiot has placed his luggage on the doorway . But fear not this keeps your nuts protected guaranteed !

5. Ardh vayu mein latkum Aasana :

A strong use of your shoulder muscles and a will power to hang for long hours is required to execute this . You are floating mid air since there is no space that remains to keep your foot on . You start with simple pull-ups for this and eventually you hang dead mid air . Well this is what you had signed for ; the olympic package right ?

6. Walk the plank Aasana :

The machos of our country usually who die when hit by a train from the opposite direction or a pole that has been very skillfully left behind to dodge are prone to practice this daily . All you have to do is place one of your leg on the foot board , hold the handlebar tight and enjoy the breeze that flows . It is effective when you alight the train compartment / boogie last or when the train is about to leave the platform .

7. Save your precious Aasana [ Not for women ] :

Ever wondered about a hand that has been floating in the air a while ago which suddenly disappeared . You begin to have a feeling of things crawling up your pants and you wish you were dead when someone gets a grip of your wiener . This is when you put your hands down and protect your man hood . It is best used when you are surrounded by men who have a worn shades of pink . Note of caution is avoid collision with another man if he is facing your way .

Change is Easy

2011-07-08T00:16:00.012+05:30

Most people are always telling you that they are scared of change . But when it comes to using a new social network called "Google+" instead of their own favourite "facebook" its rather pretty easy to make the switch . Well you ain't completely falling back to using Google+ but you are again using it for the sake of kicks . That little invitation that you've got made you special among the rest . Yes google wouldn't let you use this product unless you have an invitation . It was said that the invitation those were given out right after its release were mind numbingly huge and they had to shut the whole invitation thing down right after a few hours they started it . Now they are adding one person in your friend circle at a time .

Now you aren't using this just for the kicks you know not till you know whose the most favourite person on Google+ is actually Mark Zuckerburg . I know what you're thinking that google is just messing around with its search results to put Mark up there on the list , sinister indeed ! But nonetheless this thing has its ups .

Circles :

Not to be mistaken with crop circles . You can create your own little groups called as 'Circles' . For novices like me I would refer to it just like putting labels to your incoming mail this would be having a friend in a group or multiple groups . Now again these circles are pretty holy . Imagine you have a bunch of friends talking about how cool the discussion last night was and you are left behind pondering over what could possibly be that these guys were talking about and then they tell you that they were chatting about it on their google circle . A great way to have people to want more out of their socializing .

Hangouts :

This is more sort of a group video conference . You can create one yourself by adding people to a particular hangout . That's it ! You ain't got nothing special in here just a sprinkly of sharing youtube videos . But the names got a cool ring to it , doesn't it ?

Plus one :

A geekier version of 'liking' something using a google product . A little icon with +1 on it placed on the right of every link that has been posted in your stream . You could just appreciate it but clicking it once just like the facebook like button .

Things that Google+ doesn't have yet would be people , games and tons of other distractions that would go with it . I presume this is the start of a really good project but again google doesn't back its reputation much with the social network scenario after Buzz and Wave . So only time can tell how well this works out for everyone . Until then you can still add me on orkut , WHAT YOU DON'T USE IT ANYMORE !!!

Ok then follow me on twitter : www.twitter.com/krkoduru

Leave your email address in the comment section if you want an invite

Surviving a phishing attack

2011-06-18T23:07:00.011+05:30

Phising is a way of attempting to acquire sensitive information such as usernames , passwords and credit card details by masquerading as a trustworthy entity in an electronic communication - wikipedia

Make note of the urls present in the browsers . It is quite evident the second was to acquire your username and password . This actually happened to me but would advice you to ALWAYS CHECK YOUR ADDRESS BAR BEFORE YOU PRESS ENTER .

Original Site

Phishing Site

Well luckily I had registered my account on the original site using my email id . Hence the forgot password option worked really well .

Should have know there was something phishy when they tried to offer a 1 month free gold membership .

Smoking Kills

2011-05-31T14:54:00.002+05:30

Ever read this note on a pack of cigarettes . Nothing to be understood here quite straight forward letting you know there is a certainty of one thing that is death . So if you are smoking or killing your friends with that smoke you inhale better stop doing it , just giving them a false impression to stick around . For everybody else Happy World No Tobacco Day .

Game Night

2011-05-29T01:18:00.003+05:30

All you folks waiting to watch a match may it be your favorite team playing cricket or your team playing against Manchester United ! The point is you need to be equipped to experience the thrills of the match . There is a whole list of things that you should do to enjoy that experience may it be at home or a pub you are hanging out with a bunch of friends . Yes again friends play an important role in inculcating the whole experience . You have to be prepared to shout your lungs out when your friends do and follow every ball on screen ( no pun intended ) .

Lets start with what you would like to wear . Obviously that you are ready to sink in the game you need to wear your team's jersey . Please don't land up in a club full of people who support the opposite team ; you might end up cheering for them out of fright . Or what you could do is roam around naked trying to make an impression of how much you would love making out ..... ok thats not part of this post maybe someother time .
So you are wearing your team's jersey ,you need to paint your face now . This could mean you need to put up with some body paint until the match ends but this should definitely bring in the whole experience for you . And with it comes a flag of your team and all those goodies that they try to sell you outside a stadium .

Now once you are done gearing up for the match you need to arrange for food . Just stick to finger food I would say , what else could go down with a couple of chilled beers . If you are planning to host the game at your place you better tell your friends - No , cancel that ! Place sign boards all over the place telling them where to find their food . Whatever you do train yourself to perfectly dodge every question that makes you get up from your television screen or just "LEARN TO SAY NO ! " (Book available in 14 different languages ) .

Once you are done with the food , wine and the television . Oh yes you need to watch this on a big screen T.V. , rent a projector if you have to . You are compensating for the stadium cheers here . You need to make it large . Go now go cheer for your team while your tear your shirts off and scream your lungs out !

Manchester United winning the UEFA Champions League is purely fictional. Any similarities between them and real individuals are purely coincidental.

Happy Meal

2011-05-21T00:27:00.002+05:30

Today while having a burger at McDonalds I happened to witness an incident .

A teenager around 15 - 16 years of age was enjoying his Happy Meal . Now after he is done he gets up to leave . Right about then he bumps into a bald headed guy . This guy drops his meal on the floor waiting to react to the incident . He places his tray on the table furiously and he is ready to vent it out on the teenager . The teenager almost about to cry stays silent and ready for his bashing .

A person from the staff was witness to everything . This is when he enters picks up the bald guys tray . Replaces everything that he dropped for free (of course !) . The teenager silently walks away . Saved the day ? Maybe but the whole point here is it left a longing impression on my mind that everyone was happy in the end .

And trust me people who have seen me lately I AM NOT THE BALD HEADED GUY !

Happy New Year !

2010-12-31T16:27:00.000+05:30

Thanks for being part of this blog . My blogging reignited this very year while I had some leisure time in my hand in the initial days . Thanks to you people who have been part of this whole discussion . Will definitely come up with good pieces in the following year . Until then "Happy New Year !" , hope you get drunk , sloshed and wasted this new years :)

Celebrity New Year Resolutions

2010-12-22T01:21:00.004+05:30

We all have a list of resolutions each year . I have been trying to hit the gym since the past three months . I don't mind burning some fat on my resolution now and yes saving some money too , maybe we could chat about it sometime . Although our resolutions last long or not we do have some celebrities who might have few resolutions of their own . I would like to talk about celebrities from my homeland - India ! So, lets begin ....

Govinda

Why him ? Well since it's his birthday today I'd rather start with him first . Wish this man a very bright and colorful (pun intended) year ahead . This guy is the one who wouldn't mind endorsing a rainbow . Now apart from improving the way he laughs he'd be wondering which colors to shop for during the next year . So he will be partly arranging for the list of colors that Asian Paints might not have in their catalogue to fit into his wardrobe .

Bappi Lahiri

Yes I know what you're thinking that " he's probably dreaming about buying more gold " . Well apart from the gold stack he's planning he's picked up a new ability . First he goes around accusing A.R. Rehman for stealing his thunder . He's now planning to sue the "Toonpur" team for portraying him as a cartoon (yes reality bites !) . So he shall be busy making a list of people he can sue and accuse to support his lavish lifestyle how else would he be able to afford more gold .

Rakhi Sawant

She's probably planning a lot for the coming year . She wishes to be part of the reality show where Rahul Mahajan will wed his wife number ??? (err lost count) . After setting an example with her marriage on National Television she would continue being part of the marriage counseling bureau . And yes how can we forget her "SPEAKWELL" English training classes that she aims at starting soon .

Kamal R. Khan

Ask me who and I will personally come get you to watch his best flick ever - DESHDROHI . This guy is a celebrity of celbrities . Well at least he acts like one I must tell you . This guy is probably wishing he'd release another sequel to the movie and know what he's sitting at home working on it right now ! His loyal audience awaits his new release .

Himesh Reshammiya

Unleash thy true potential . There is a lot in store for this guy . I am not lying he is going global . Soon to launch albums in English and meet the greater audience . I can just see it - his CD right next to my favourite singer "Justin Beiber's " albums . Ahhh sky rocketing sales already . " Baby baby oooooooooo "

That's it for now . Thanks for still reading this thing guys . Now time to share it if you like it that much .

Cyc-hed Out!

2010-10-19T03:00:00.001+05:30

Have you ever rode a bicycle when you were a teenager ? Have you enjoyed it as much as you should have ? Have you tried to ride the bicycle with no hands ? Well too many questions but the reason I am asking you these things is this weekend I rode a bicycle after so many years and I had a lot of thoughts in my head . These were some of the following :

1. No signals , no traffic :

You can maneuver through little by-lanes and spots or openings that would help you navigate through your city . Thus lesser amount of time spent on those stupid traffic lights . Dodging in every which way possible you obviously reach your destination before those buggers on vehicles do . And yes you could even drive on the wrong side of the road if you wanted to , but I would not count on it though .

2. From zero to Lance Armstrong :

Those unnecessary hours at the Gym . Trivial exercises . Too much on your plate to even go hit the gym probably cycling will help you figure out a good way to exercise . Lance Armstrong the man who could battle Cancer and the one has a passion for cycling will always be your role model . And if you were wondering what muscles you would train you should take a look here .

3. Drunken Driving :

Every time I go to a bar I need to park my bike somewhere safe so that I can pick it up the next day . But if you were to ride a bi-cycle , you wouldn't be worrying about it so much . You can totally get sloshed and ride it back home . Just do not forget to wear your riding gear if you are too tipsy I mean .

4. Jo Jeeta wahi sikander :

Everyday you ride your cycle you would have one song to sing . Pure inspiration from a hit movie . Blood pumping through your veins . Only at the end of the day you would not have a school to support for but still have a song to sing along . Tired of it you can even try and switch to a better song to impress thy women , something like " Sone ki cycle , Chandi ki seat "( FYI i heart bollywood ) .

5. Save on money :

Low on cash this is the right choice for your travel escapades . It is by far the cheapest substitute for your traveling woes . Just hop on to your cycle and all your money problems begin to fade away . In the meantime Captain Planet appreciates your help towards a greener future . I can imagine Gaia in the background with her spiritual looks totally checking you out .

And again if you were wondering why I brought up cycling today , it is cause of an initiative started by a man from Bengaluru who visions for a greener tomorrow .

If you cared maybe you should have a look at this link :

http://www.gogreengocycling.org/

The Facebook Bias

2010-10-14T01:56:00.003+05:30

1. Always online : These people were meant to be online on facebook . They are there waiting , watching their computer screens to load something ; yes something atleast so they can feed their dead brains or they just keep clicking on the " Most Recent " tab over and over again . Finally realizing whatever they have right now is complete and updated feeds about their friends . Its actually pretty exhausting in the beginning but sooner or later everyone catches up to it . So needn't worry . Keep pushing that button .

2. He likes : You make a post about being kicked in the nuts , this butt head will not wait to click on the like button . Its involuntary you know , the rule that applies here is someone posts something on their wall about liking or not liking things and he will pop in and go ahead to like that thing you just wrote . Works wonderful at times even liking your status update with in 3 seconds . Even though sometimes the post maybe have been put up in the dead of the night . He surely could be someone who is offensive in his own way .

3. Video Spammer : The interesting part about this guy could only be that sometimes its a relief to have a look at the videos that were posted on his wall . Some maybe funny , some may want to teach you some moral value or some maybe crappy old stuff that you've seen a lot of times already . It occurs to you at times that does he even watch all these videos he's been posting . I think I had seen him comment on a video of a dog pooping which read " how nice ! I wish I could do this sometime . "

4. Quote me not : You were wondering if hes the guy right out of page 3 with high intellect . Ah yes ! both being ironical couldn't ever exist . Making a fool of himself with a dairy of quotes in his hand and facebook at the other . He starts jotting down statements meant for kids or Justin Bieber as he merrily indulges into his facebook etiquette . The only reason you want him on your wall is that without his stupid anecdotes you would never have had happier day .

5. The Application Addict : Takes a quiz about you and posts it on your wall saying that "To know about the answers that I have given about you , you need to press here " . There you go intrigued wondering what could be that thing he was talking about later only to find out that it was an auto generated post which he FUCKING DIN'T REALISE when he clicked on the application . Another kind is those people who game a lot and keep updating with their high scores . What do you know " I DONOT WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT !"

6. The I see you I will ping you guy : They are virtual stalkers . They are lonely and waiting for you to come online . They wait with their flickering monitors and keyboards to say "hi" to you . And when you do respond to them , they just stop talking . Isn't that fun now ? Keep doing that to your friends when they come online , you are sure to piss them off . Eventually being knocked off their friend lists too .

7. Parents are on facebook you creep ! : You were tagged in that album where you got wasted in your swimming trunks no problem at all you wouldn't realise how soon it will go as an update over your parents wall at times . Yes their intellect equals to that of a lab rat and there is no end to it . Keep getting tagged in indecent pictures and let the world know of how retarded you were in the first place to add him as a friend .

8. The Event Co-ordinator : A festival to celebrate an uncle's younger brother's elder sister's little son's thread ceremony . Well worry not you are sure to get an invite soon . The only thing bothering you right now would be " HOW THE HECK DO I KNOW THIS GUY ? " From Funerals to Marriage (not arranged chronologically) , he organizes everything . So what hes got 15000 people in his list , he's still your friend right ?

9. Oh look I have more friends than you do : " The List " . It consists of people from all over the globe who have the same occupation as you do i.e. "Send Friend Requests" . Begins a morning with a hot cup of coffee and the Daily Friend Suggestion column for his breakfast . There is no escaping a request from this fella . You definitely have been invited to be a part of his friend list at some point of time .

10. The guy with random updates : Though these updates are not random all the time but you kinda have him on your wall updating saying "Too sloshed at work I so miss you already" . Wondering who was he referring to since he's the guy who in the wildest of your dreams would never get hooked . So you go ahead and post about the sweet nothings on his wall and what do you know he was talking about the beer can in his refrigerator .

Haha have a good one folks . Thanks for reading .

Mactarded

2010-10-13T02:37:00.001+05:30

Yes its not a noun its a it is an adjective to express all mac lovers affection towards their sweet devices. There are basically two types of people in this universe , one who owns a MAC and the rest who don't (go figure) .

Well the reason for owning a MAC could sometimes be completely unnecessary hence the anger inside me begins to rise . The one guy who was not aware of what it was like to own a computer rig gets mac-ti-fied ! And voila we have envy ; green , red whatever color you call it pure envy .

Then comes a thought to me that what if there were a few devices you would love Apple to make sometime . It could include always start with an "i" oh yes it would . I always wanted a device for swearing called i-swear or something when Indians would love to call i-shappath .

The i-phone 4 was something that was discussed a lot about a few days ago . Now I hear plans of another phone in the making and then you begin to think " Steve , stop it ! " . Just when you were rejoicing the feeling of owning thy phone you get struck by a new better release of the phone you hold in your hands . Sympathies to you my friend (Evil cackle in my head though ) .

There were times when a simple basic mp3 player was okay to listen to . But after the arrival of the i-pod ! God had never been so biased might have thought the competitors . The reason for the i-pod turning a hit would be the User Interface , oh yes it had a perfect UI . Turn the dial on the player like you used to just like in the olden days when you had to crank every number on your telephone . This was much interesting to play with . It was cool . It was white as the dove.

Then came different versions of the same shit , ipod nanos , touchs and then the i-phone . The same ipod touch which would allow you to make phone calls , well there were other features too but I just love de-glorifying your i-touch man ! The poor guy who owns an i-touch thinks " Steve STOP FUCKING WITH ME " . That's what I meant when I said new releases every 3 months .

Soon came the i-pad . This was a sleek and a sturdy design , yet again ! Everything is just perfect . The only thing it lacks is a fucking USB port !! Well actually the dock is present but USB would have rather been very simpler without us trying to connect that Apple cable every time we wanted to add an external device . And don't even get me started on it not being able to multi-task now .

Thus Mactards we still love you but wait before you make purchases cause maybe there will be something in line for you within the next few months . End of story .

Basic Plan on a weekend

2010-09-26T01:44:00.002+05:30

Today I come to speak about the importance of a weekend in our lives . Weekends are filled with a lot of plans . Plans that need to be scheduled from A to B and involve A LOT of people . It is usually followed with joy , laughter and then merriment at the bar . Whenever I think about weekends the first thing that comes to my mind is " Sleep " . If you get up early you are one big fool cause lunch is not ready yet ! And then when you do wake up you end up cherishing a good brunch . There is always a good probablity you would want to wind up at a theatre and watch a movie .

Weekends are when the mall is hogged by a colossal crowd . Uncles and haunties roam with their kids who are always the crankiest ones in the batch and then you begin to wonder about how weekends used to be family time . That family time is compensated with mummy buying attire for that function she might go to , maybe next weekend . And then you realize that dad is playing cool just cause he is allowed drinks with his friends later in the evening .

Well few things that you'd want to do on a weekend would include :

Eat : Well it could be anything from a home cooked meal to a delicacy at your local restaurant . I tend to eat more than I should during weekends just cause me thinks there is a lot of food in this world and someone has to be there to contribute to the ecological balance . Yes indeed a very big challenge in hand .

Sleeep : All work and no sleep would have rather tired you out but during this special day we sleep and sleep and sleep until there is someone who shakes you up and says " get the f... up , its noon !! " . Then you eat and again get back to sleep . That's usually the routine that I follow what about you ?

Drink : Ahh yes how can this not be part of my post . Your inners filled with concoctions of various liquids starting with the expensive ones and then you wind up thinking you just want to get wasted and finally order the cheapest drink at the bar . There is some serious nervous damage that is done by the end of the night .Waking up with a heavy head is sometimes a part of Monday mornings .

Shopping : I had to put this one in ! women on my blog would otherwise be upset about not writing about their favourite past time :P With your hand bags filled with the green you travel to the land of joy and happiness . You exit stores with your million dollar smiles and finally its safe for us to talk to you now .

Please feel free share your expertise on weekends my friends (falls on his knees ) pleasseeeeee . Ok that's enough of self embarrassment .

1000 Views

2010-09-23T21:45:00.000+05:30

Well what do you know ; people , yes real HUMAN BEINGS are supposedly reading a lot these days and they happen to browse my blog while they are at it . Yes yes yes ! 1000 Views on my blog , I feel the urge to celebrate .

Alright now I think I can take my hands off this Refresh button that I have been holding for sooo long . In order to commemorate this feat I'd like to buy you all a glass of beer . Yes come to my place people . Beers on the house . Women who don't drink we have margaritas for you all . The celebrations will be followed by a candle light march . It will be routed through my living room to the kitchen . That is all the exercise I can take in a day .

Alright gotta run !

Thank you people :)

GOOD BAD and the UGLY

2010-09-23T01:34:00.001+05:30

When you know you have bad days you should be aware it could get worse , so Have Fun at whatever you do . Cheers !

5 Reasons you need to be on twitter

2010-09-22T04:05:00.001+05:30

The world revolves around you and so does twitter . These are some few reasons why you should be on this micro-blogging network .

1. Celebrities :

Well more or less everyone is on twitter because they wish to know about their favourite celebrities . Though this is sometimes that bothers you since the ones you worship on screen could be so dumb in real life . Well for instance check this tweet of Sherlyn Chopra

2. You have funny people online :

I have ended up following a lot of funny people . They talk about things that are currently being rubbished about on television in a very satirical tone . Its more of a stress relief . Rather than being down with the wicked ways of this cruel world you get to actually tickle your funny bone .

3. You can give first hand updates :

Yes though you have never been a celebrity but bragging about your newly owned car would not hurt if you were on twitter . It helps people know what you have been doing which may also be held against you sometimes but nevertheless you will have a ball while you are at it .

4. News updates :

The more humans I follow on twitter , the equivalent tech blogs I follow . This is cause getting news about new releases does help you a lot . There will be a time when people will switch off their televisions sets and rather know about whats going on through twitter . Aaaaannd has anyone told you twitter got hacked yesterday ? check it out :

This is how big the fonts on twitter looked yesterday .

5. Twitter has Lord_Ram :

Its true , I truly believe he exists . Well for the ones who did not follow him , you shall be cursed and sent on an exile for 14 minutes to the other room while your parents turn off your computer . Bwahaha , whatever .... just start tweeting , will you ?

my twitter handle : www.twitter.com/crazycreature11 , this is where can spread the love at .

Engineer's Day Galore

2010-09-16T01:38:00.001+05:30

On the eve of Engineer's day let me tell you about something that every engineer feared telling you about . Well atleast the one's who have passed from Mumbai University .

1. Never has completed an assignment by himself :

This is the best part about engineers they have never had the enthusiasm of writing their own assignments . Plagiarism rules completely ! The moment they turn on their computers Google is the answer to their questions . The one guy who writes all the assignments though is worshiped like GOD at times (never anger him or his wrath shall disown you all ) .

2. Two words - preparatory leave :

This is THE MOST crucial time of an engineering students life . If it wasn't for this free period of time we'd never study at all ! The only thing that kept us afloat trying our best to be engineers were the 'University Question Papers' that saved a lot of lives in the end .

3.Final Year Projects :

There would once come a time in an engineer's life when he was supposed to prove his mettle . But yet again it wasn't this year . Enjoying two-thirds of his final year hell broke lose when the time for submitting your project would come close . The alternative to keep your cool was to happily let someone else do it for a small fee ofcourse ! This would then let you stay sane for some time .

4.Midterms :

These were supposed to be exams right in the middle of a semester . It would test us in every which way possible with questions from a lot of sources . The more you wasted your time trying to study for them , the bigger moron you would become by the end of the day . Hence the best way to tackle this situation would be to print 5 small sheets of papers available at your local photocopy center and get out of the class when you are done writing . Spread the word my fellow beings !

5.Girls :

Girls are close to being redundant when you are turning into an engineer . The theory about the adjoining college having a larger girl population would be put forward ( 5 out of 5 times it would always be true !) . The more geekier you looked the more eager you were to find girls . Basically they turn you into sexually deprived creatures who are self satisfied at the end of the day (hey stop looking at me , I have a girl friend ok ? *looks at the sky* ) .

Attention

2010-09-07T23:22:00.002+05:30

Last week when I was in Vegas .... aah gotcha ! Well sometimes we need to do something exceptional to grab some attention . There are a distinguished group of personalities we come in contact with everyday some who are dying to get that attention . The more you stare , the happier they are and vice-versa .

The other evening I was with a friend he told me its human tendency to be looked at . So when you are actually looking at a girl its not a bad thing , is it ? (You can look but stop staring at it ! ) . Well what about when you don't get your work done ? There are evidences of people doing weird things to get some attention . These peculiar qualities in individuals are like a sign posts that are held up over their heads saying - Look here !

The crazy stuff is that at some point of time everyone might have done something to turn a glance . Example - Wooing women . Enough said .

The classiest of examples is our Indian Film Industry . They are constantly in the news for the teeniest of reasons . I plead to our Indian New Channels especially India T.V. (who taunts me with pictures of Rakhi Sawant ... don't know why ) informing viewers about the news and mentally torturing them with the oodles of repeat telecasts all day is not what your viewers would like to watch .

There are variety of attention seeking individuals you come across ; some who get attention for a short span of time , while some have your attention for a longer time . There is nothing bad about seeking attention but stop overdoing it man .

And again for the 5 people reading this blog . Thanks for the patience and your support ( fake tears in my eyes ) . I love you people :)

115 to 350 . The Power of biking .

2010-07-13T01:08:00.002+05:30

    On my way back home from work I get a call from my dear friend Nagu saying he wishes to learn to ride his newly possessed , 350 CC , high powered , huge structured and gigantic "Bullet " . Only few men have the ability and the strength to master this mean machine . It takes self control and extending your mental and physical strengths to the optimum level which was rather a challenge in itself . Shamelessly accepting the fact of never ridden anything like it I rush to his place at once . And this one was an untamed beast . We were just trying to learn how the pedals work on this thing .Its beauty being the most impeccable thing on this planet .

    With a few strokes and kicks we manage to charge this beast up . Struggling with the reverse engineering used on this one we rest ourselves on its back . With reverse engineering I mean the brakes and the gears have switched places , so as I said takes mental stability to acquaint yourself with this bull . Taking mental notes and constantly reminding ourselves about the intertwined gear system we ride it a few kilometers . Then comes the worst part ; bringing it to a stop .

   After so much experience of riding bikes my own being a 115 CC one I step on the brakes just to figure out that its not in the right place and the neutral gear seems pretty hard to find . I hurriedly push the brake much sort of like having a panic attack . It comes to a stand still finally and my intuition telling me that the bike laughs sheepishly at my stunt . The next thing I know is this creature rests silently waiting to be powered up once again . The very fact about this bike being the only one that India Exports is brought to my knowledge , and I wouldn't doubt that piece of information at all .

   I would definitely like to compare my bike with this 350 CC engine but all said and done , this thing is a class apart . As a friend of mine once said " Its not a bike , its a Bullet " . Falling short of words to describe it is nothing unusual . By the way did I tell you the bike I am riding is like 30 years old and it still hasn't fallen apart even after so many travels its been on . This bike has a story , a story to share to the world and I feel proud to be part of this tale which was short lived but very interesting .

Special Thanks to Narendra for giving us this opportunity to ride his priced possession once in a while.

Super Powers in the City

2010-07-02T04:14:00.004+05:30

Whirling , swooshing and making all sorts of sounds a Super Hero enters into every page of a comic book . The ones with the popular powers have the habit of prancing into the strip out of nowhere . Enough said about the heroes , imagine the world that we live in today and with the 9 to 5 shifts that we have ; the country can hardly count on us . Everyone wished there would have been something special about them and would get things done quicker . The lazy ass sitting on the cozy chair tells us that we are entitled to have some super powers now , right ? Well these super powers listed below are something that will help you survive and maybe Save the day .

Super Speed : So many things , so little time . Fear not ! Captian Speed to the rescue . You could basically run around wherever you wanted to ( careful measures to be improvised if you are wearing glasses ) . That thing that which seems like in a galaxy far far away you could run for it and make it seem like a footstep away . Now the best part of this is for you to escape unexpected situations . You want to run away from someone who you did not want to crash into SUPER SPEED to the rescue . The sad bugger wouldn't bother you ever . A pleasure when it comes to evading the x's .

Invisibility : There are things we want to hide from like when you are trying to work or 'pretending to work' as i say , you just need to turn that shield ON and you will not be bothered by a soul on earth . Especially when you have your friends trying to grab your neck for drunk dialing his girl friend last night and telling her that he wasn't man enough for one more drink ( a shame only a true alcoholic knows about) . Then you have the skills to walk into places where they have these conversations or gossips going on and then you could be the first one to find out ( please keep out of the reach of your boss cause if you are out of your seat he WILL find that out) .Again the ones who prefer nudity this is your chance for streaking in public . There you have it invisibility at its best .

Picture above is for representational purposes only .(What you don't see an image above ? ahh right hes invisible for now )

Telepathy : Forget facebook , orkut , myspace , linkedn , twitter , delicious and what not ( ya the list is long now bare with it ) . You have the power to update about things faster than any other mammal on this planet . Though you are not a mind reader but communication is the key to every relationship . The worst part would be if you send the message to some one you kept evading for years . This is where you turn your powers OFF . Then you ask SUPER-SPEED to help you get away from your cramped dungeon (obviously where do you think you'd live now ? )

Strech : This one is for the dirty folks or the perverted ones who wished that things should have grew longer . End of story . You save the day whenever the time cums ( pun not intended ) that is .

Cool Breathe : Life in the city is hot as hell and with cool breathe on your side you have nothing to be afraid about sharing . Going around with your mouth open and cooling the environment is good but if you have bad breath then probably you should skip the social service for today . There are a few instances where you will save the day now when the fire crew fails to control a few sparks flying perhaps then the time calls for you to come in and rescue a few people .

Shrink : Ah you are thinking about your psychologist again are you ? Well forget him ! Shrinking is your ability meaning you can get smaller than those minuscule objects inside a microscope . This ability now helps you make a lot of medical discoveries perhaps even curing a few in the ordeal . Though there could be a few hiccups if you lost your way back though you would stay inside the colony of ants in my living room like forever .

That tiny dot on the board , that is how small you'll be .

Teleporter : When you have the ability to bend time and space you are bound to make fruitful use of it . Jump from on spot to another . Meetings every 10 minutes in different corners of the city no problem at all . You just jump from A to B in no time . The traffic is never an issue . You have the most happening life and you still find time to work on those ballet lessons you signed up for last month .

Fix-it-all Techie : The worst that could happen to mankind or rather people living in the city is being devoid of technology not working around them . The most crucial things ranging from mobile phones to internet . You have the ability to make things wonder in no time . Maybe Steve Jobs who is still working on a way to fix his new iPhone 4's reception would like to get a few lessons from you now .

Yes , hes a fix-it guy . When asked about the low reception on the iphone he laments that " You are holding it wrong "

Expectations Unlimited

2010-06-19T22:10:00.001+05:30

This may sound a little out of focus but since expressing yourself when in a drunken state is acceptable , I believe in of the ideals of free speech and hence bring forward to you the examples of expectations . These have complete resemblance to real life and all facts hereby stated are completely true .

1.Expectations from friends

Stuck in traffic , traveling by train or even short of money the first person you wish to contact is a friend . A friend in need is thus is always a friend indeed . Without someone who has the same ideals and practices as you do you wouldn't ever connect with friend.

2.Expectations after an examination

The world revolves around what you score . What your neighbors think about your score and the worst is what your friends think about where you stand . The more marks you score the high regards you hold in the eyes of your parents , your relatives , your friends and everyone who you think didn't matter to you in your past .

3. Expectations with a date

Imagine yourself going out on a date with your significant other you keep wondering how it will turn out to be .The guy is constantly thinking 'Would I be getting that good night kiss after all ' . Now if it where the girl the golden rule that applies here is expecting the call from the guy within 3 days after the date . If its the guy whose fallen for the girl , god help you ! You are shit panicky about making that one call .

4. Expectations from your parents

Now if hell breaks lose you start expecting things from your parents . Parents are your worst enemies at times , they start creating something that is impervious to break through . I hope you should make the most when you have a high understanding for what they tend to convey.

5. Expectations from your neighborhood

If you weren't the sloppy kind then the neighborhood that you'd live in always mattered to you . You want good people surrounding you . You want a clean a decent surrounding too . Wouldn't want people knocking at your door if you played the music to loud or invited a few friends over .

6.Expecting a child

The most common cause of expecting after one gets married is someone who wishes to have a child . With your heart filled with joy you are venturing to the happier side of life .But if it wasn't planned for then probably you should be taught about those vending machines again . Yes Listen up now !

7.Expectations from the Government

Life usually revolves around what the government sets for us . Banning of after hours drinking , partying with loud music , even sometimes fares for that auto-rickshaw that you often travel through . Security for women , children and the elderly is negotiated at some point or the other .

8. Expectations from life

The only thing that bothers anyone is who succeeds and who is left behind , these create a great divide even in intellectual minds . Every individual wishes to make the most of the time he spends with friends and family and thus with only one goal to achieve he breaks free from the bonds of human interaction .

9. Expectations from technology

When Steve Jobs working so hard for your comfort , no wonder the i-phone releases a new version every few months . Google worshipers(such as 'me') wondering when there will be a new update on the google page . We are lazy bums and when we wish for some changes (technology-wise) we want it to happen soon .

10. Expectations from God :

'One last chance' or rather that lucky shot you were always pleading for is what your expecting from the almighty . One fine day all your prayers are for a purpose and that purpose is summed up to be delivered to him . Being an atheist I never believed in god though ; so my prayers were for Satan and shall always be .