that.dork.jordan

I’m tipsy and writing about Osama Bin Laden.

2011-05-02T14:03:43Z

The moment the second plane hit. Who doesn’t remember that? The first plane was a horrible accident. Pilot error, who knows. Then the second plane hit and our hearts sunk and we all collectively thought, “Oh fuck.”

I lived in upstate New York, pretty far from Manhattan when the attacks happened. It was far enough away to feel as safe as any American was likely to feel at that point in time. It was close enough to be cocooned in a yellow haze that made it difficult to see more than a foot or two away.

The fear that originated from the 9/11 attacks was genuine. Nobody got up that day and thought something so grave would happen.

I’ve never been more proud of my country, or of the world, than I was in the week or two after 9/11. For a short period of time I felt an overwhelming spirit of patriotism, but really, earthism. The attempted terror attacks did scare us, but not into hiding. If there ever was a moment for world peace, it came in those first few days after the attacks.

There was so much potential. Potential to spend the collective loving capital to promote unity. To spread peace. To say “We will not allow these attacks to change us for the worse. We will take this opportunity to be better.”

But America, the world’s superpower, was under direction of an awkward fratboy government. Bush’s best intentions fell far short of the ability to embrace the opportunity before him. For us, it was a chance to unite the world. For him, it was a chance to use his daddy’s toys and finish out a family vendetta.

I find myself conflicted today. Osama Bin Laden is dead. For many families who have lost loved ones to attacks masterminded by this man, there is likely a certain amount of closure to be had. For that, I am glad. For the world’s safety, we can rest just a tiny bit easier. Al Qaeda is not disbanded, but without it’s affable leader, their operations will be more difficult.

On the flip side, what have we accomplished? Is the world any safer today than it was a decade ago? Has our quality of life improved? I’d argue no. The only thing we are today that we weren’t ten years ago is scared. We’re spending an hour in line at airports so uneducated workers can make sure we aren’t carrying more than 3oz of shampoo. I look out my window and see homeless people and armed drug pushers. Kids aren’t graduating from school, their parents can’t get jobs, and those are just some of the problems plaguing our own country.

How much money and how many lives have we put into this? If we’d spent half that on feeding people, on missions to eradicate disease, on education and employment, where would we be today? If we’d spent that human capital on peaceful things that had immediate benefits instead of blowing shit up?

Terrorism doesn’t work if people aren’t terrorized.

So where is the disconnect?

Terrorism sells. And it gets votes. The most skilled terrorists are not hiding somewhere in a desert. They’re our leaders and journalists.

So Osama Bin Laden is gone. I don’t feel any better now than I did yesterday. Someday, someone will figure out the answer to uniting people in the pursuit of peace. Until then, try not to be too scared, okay? Turn off the major news outlets. They’re only there to freak you out. Vote for someone in a third party. Eat a fruit or vegetable that you didn’t like when you were a kid and haven’t tried in a decade. There’s a chance I’m wrong, but I have a hunch that it will be a pretty good ride if you focus on the love and joy of life.

Dream On

2011-03-22T06:33:27Z

www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-juuIldyZ0

You can hear a song, listen to all the words, perceive all the intonations in the vocals, and still come back to it after hundreds of plays over the span of years and have that â€œahaâ€ moment where the soul of every hand that touched its creation infects and overwhelms you.

Dream on.

Is Born This Way really a gay anthem?

2011-02-11T18:44:19Z

“â€˜Born This Wayâ€™, which is the title song, will completely get rid of Gloria Gaynorâ€™s â€˜I Will Surviveâ€™. This is the new â€˜I Will Surviveâ€™. That was the gay anthem. This is the new gay anthem. Actually, itâ€™s not a gay anthem â€“ it can apply to anybody.” – Elton John

There was a lot of hype surrounding Lady Gaga’s single “Born This Way.” We’ve been hearing about it for months. I really dislike when people talk about songs before they’re available. It sets up an unrealistic expectation and people only do it to name drop. Okay Perez, we get it, you’re friends with Lady Gaga. Now go bedazzle an alpaca or something, just as long as I don’t have to watch.

I think if Elton John hadn’t come out and said as much, people would be responding differently, so let’s forget he ever talked about Born This Way, forget about all the hype leading up to its release, and get down to it.

Born This Way IS an anthem.

The lyrics, literal and cheesy, are meant to be so. Who here has ever been to a protest? You don’t mince your words, you get right to the point. This isn’t a song about lust or angst, it’s a song about being proud of who you are. Born This Way intentionally escapes the mold to make a point, hiding behind poetic tricks would have detracted from the message.

Of course there are those who say it’s a copy. A copy of Express Yourself, a copy of God Is A DJ; to be honest, I heard a lot of other songs too. Pop imitates pop. Every song sounds like some song before it. What separates a clone from something great is whether it does something new; whether it’s current (or ahead of it’s time), and relevant. Madonna and Pink are well established pop artists with a history of releasing empowering songs about individuality. Gaga channeled the vibes of her contemporaries to add to the story.

There’s one thing we can all agree upon- this song is divisive. For every person who falls in love with it and carries it with them there are going to be ten people who hate it. Gaga may be amongst the biggest stars in the world right now, but she still has a very young career. It takes cahones to release something like this. Leave any doubts that Gaga truly believes and cares about equality behind, this girl is more than a pop star, she’s an activist.

The value of Aunt Marie

2011-01-22T00:59:57Z

This blog is generally about politics, men, music, and technology. It’s not very often that I stray from that to write anything personal. I need to tell a story that is hugely important to me, and although it occurred a very long time ago, it really has had a profound effect on shaping me as a person.

My Aunt Marie was not a person that I knew terribly well. I could count the number of times I met her on my hands. I also haven’t seen her since 2005; so it’s all the more remarkable that her passing today was able to inspire so much emotion in me.

I must have been well under ten years old. My immediate family took a trip to central New York to visit the bigger Bouvier clan. It’s a tremendous family on my father’s side; he’s the youngest of ten children, and the various aunts, uncles, cousins, and their children are incredibly well dispersed. I don’t remember the occasion, but I know a lot of my extended family was there.

My dad is a funny man. He wields his machismo in such a humorous manner that it completely erases any chance of him seeming intimidating. Let me provide an example so you can see what I mean; trust me, it’s on topic.

Aunt Marie had a fabulous back yard. Her house was in the woods and in the back yard was a tiny lake. Okay, it was probably just a large pond, but I was very small so it, in turn, seemed very big. Aunt Marie would feed the fish in that pond so regularly that the fish were not at all afraid of humans. I feel horrible now that my first fishing expedition was in this lake, I was catching her pets! I, of course, had no clue at the time, so really I should be expunged of any guilt.

So dad decides to impress me and the rest of the crowd by literally catching a fish. No, not casting a line and getting one to bite. He stuck his hand into the water, wrapped his fingers around a fish, and picked it up. Quite the achievement! My dad was a hero to me. Unfortunately for him, that fish was something sharp, and it cut his hand right up. My father lost the battle with the fish, but he won the war of awing me.

The point is Aunt Marie just loved everyone and everything. She loved the fish enough to feed them. She loved us enough to let us hunt her pond. The love that she shared had no borders. It was there for all takers, and we all took and are better for it.

When we had to leave her house, I did the most curious thing for a little future-gay to do. I tried to climb in the cupboards. It takes a lot of love to make a homosexual enjoy being in a closet, but I didn’t ever want to leave her palace. I wanted to pick blackberries and pet the deer in her back yard.

I’m lucky to have a family that is filled with examples like Aunt Marie. People who are joyous, welcoming, and most of all loving. If there’s one thing I’ll carry from this it is that when you love all things, all things love you. There is no greater legacy to be had.

Is Domino’s a driving force behind the anti-LGBT movement? Finally, some hard facts.

2011-01-05T13:54:32Z

I joined the LGBT boycott of Domino’s pizza last year after learning that founder and former CEO, Tom Monaghan, was a radically conservative social activist. Somethings irked me about the story though; there is a Domino’s right in Boystown(one of the world’s most concentrated gay ghettos) and the pizza itself is delicious and fast- not something I was keen to give up.

Nevertheless, I stuck to my guns (toy guns, real ones are [possibly] illegal in Chicago). In a city filled with options for greasy, cheese covered, pepperoni-laden goodness, why bother with a company that is potentially supporting discrimination against me?

So, when a friend suggested that I order Domino’s for dinner tonight, we ended up both digging around for evidence supporting the claim that money going to Domino’s was money going to hate.

For the sake of making this easy to consume, I’m going to make my discoveries a list:

Tom Monaghan left his role as CEO of Domino’s Pizza and is no longer involved with the company. [link]
Tom Monaghan sold, if not all, nearly all of his shares in Domino’s and no longer reaps any significant financial benefit from the corporation. (Top 10 “other” holders: link] )
Although the LA Times article previously mentioned stated that Monaghan would remain on Domino’s Board of Directors, he has since resigned that post as well. [link]
Current Chairman-of-the-Board David Brandon has made financial contributions in excess of $200,000 to the Republican party, candidates, and PACs supporting the Republican party. link]
Brandon did make a $5,000 contribution to The Ave Maria List PAC in 2002. This contribution was passed on to the likes of Bob Dole and John Thune, amongst others. This is the PAC that Tom Monaghan founded in order to promote Catholic ideals in US government. [link]
Current CEO of Domino’s, J. Patrick Doyle, has likewise made $13,300 in contributions to the Republican party but there is no evidence of support for other anti-gay groups. [link]
Neither Brandon or Doyle have made significant political contributions outside the Republican party.
A Domino’s Pizza PAC has existed and distributed $61,500 to Republican candidates since 2002. No contributions have been reported since the 2006 election cycle, but the PAC collected an additional $10,500 that I was unable to account for and could presumably be used for future contributions. [link]
Total contributions to Republicans and to conservative causes from Domino’s and its current top-two leaders total at least $274,800.

Having for the most part cleared those most likely to reap financial benefit from Domino’s, I moved on to answering two other questions:

Does Domino’s itself stand for equality?
Is there a better alternative for a national pizza chain? (Thank you Adam for posing this question.)

For this I leaned on HRC’s Corporate Equality Index for 2011 (pdf). I am not always a fervent supporter of HRC’s political activities but I find their CEI to be indispensable and unmatched when it comes to deciphering a corporation’s stance on LGBT issues.

Domino’s has scored a 60/100 on the CEI since it was first listed in the index in 2008. That number is pretty grim, and more telling is the fact that they have made no strides to improve their score in four years of being listed. The report says that while Domino’s prohibit’s discrimination based on sexual orientation, has an employer-supported resource group, and positively engages the LGBT community (usually by way of advertising), they do not provide domestic partner benefits and they also do not provide protection against gender identity or expression.

Slightly better on the CEI, Yum! Brands (owner of Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and KFC) ranked a 65. They one-up Domino’s by providing domestic partner benefits and transgender-inclusive diversity training, but miss out on a huge number of points (15) by not “positively engaging the LGBT community.” Certainly some room for improvement, but a better option by far. This bodes well for me as I am a huge fan & supporter of Taco Bell. Yum! indeedâ€¦

I hope this helps you make a more informed choice when it comes to enjoying an American favorite. If nothing else, it highlights the complexity of making a seemingly simple decision when you are a minority.

You’re free to make your own decisions about how to act with this newfound information. Personally, I won’t be returning to Domino’s anytime soon. While I resolved many of my existing doubts about the company, a slew of new ones have been discovered. I’d much rather spend my money locally, someplace where I can talk to the owner and know first-hand where my relationship with the business stands.

La Roux, Robyn, Whitney and Taylor Swift Mashed up

2010-12-30T20:03:04Z

The DJ calls it “IÂ Wanna Bulletproof Dancer.” I call it magic!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptuGJsoGQ3Y

From TED: Halla Tomasdottir on helping Iceland’s financial system

2010-12-08T20:10:19Z

“I am fed up with this tyranny of either or choices in life. Either it’s men or it’s women. We need to start embracing the beauty of balance. So let’s move away from thinking about business here and philanthropy there and let’s start thinking about doing good business. That’s how we change the world. That’s the only sustainable future.” – Halla Tomasdottir

Changing the way we teach math

2010-11-16T03:48:20Z

Conrad Wolfram thinks math education needs a major refresh. He asserts that the way we teach math to children today in no way matches the ways it needs to be practically applied once you’ve moved into the job sphere. To change that, he suggests that we start teaching math by way of programming.

I am happily biased on this topic and I agree wholeheartedly. My interest in math wasn’t sparked until I discovered the programming features of my TI-83 calculator. I haven’t reflected on my math education in many years, but I am now angry at the disservice my educators did for me. Once they learned that I knew how to write these tiny programs, they wouldn’t allow me to use the calculator during class or during tests. Every other student sat there with the same TI-83, the same access to utility, and I was forced to use a 10-key calculator and show all of my work on paper. The sad truth is, because I wrote the program, I knew more about the actual mathematic problem at hand than anyone else in the room.

I’m happy to say that I wasn’t discouraged. I still followed my fascination with being able to make real world problems more simple not only for me, but for everyone. I followed that path right into my current position, where making software is my full time job, and I love it.

We should be teaching children how to solve real world problems as much as possible.

HOLY FUCK GLEE

2010-11-10T03:28:08Z

I have to give Glee credit where credit is due: it’s not easy to be progressive on TV, especially when your parent company is News Corp. Through the past season and a half, Glee has shortly approached a broad range of sensitive topics that many other current shows in it’s time-slot wouldn’t dare touch. Unfortunately, it always quickly steps away, afraid run with the issue. When Quinn became pregnant, the writers were quick to make it clear that she would not be getting an abortion, despite abortion being a consideration many viewers have to make at a young age and with little guidance.

The show hasn’t done much of a service for gay people either. Applause for the show’s gay characters shouldn’t exceed a polite golf-clap. Kurt, the gay character with the greatest spotlight, is the spitting image of America’s unfortunately stereotyped view of homosexuals. Other queer characters are offensive (Sandy) or their relationships are weak (Brittany and Santana’s strange bisexual connection.) True, these relationships and personalities do exist in reality, but they’re over-portrayed in media and do a serious disservice to the majority of gay people who don’t fit those molds. America-at-large only sees these outlandish and promiscuous bitches obsessed with pop music and fashion characters. No wonder LGBT people aren’t seen as equals.

All that changed with tonight’s departure from everything we’ve come to know from Glee.

While I appreciate Blaine, the exceedingly handsome object of Kurt’s current fickle dreams (and the first one who is actually gay), I don’t think he is the big news from this episode.

I know I wasn’t the only viewer shocked when Dave, one of the show’s two core bullies, grabbed Kurt during a confrontation and kissed him. Just like that, prime-time has a gay kiss, and nobody expected it to happen. It wasn’t fragile or shy, it didn’t come from an interior designer, and the character was most certainly not comfortable with his sexuality. This was an angsty teenage football player, afraid of who he might be, losing control of his impulses momentarily before ducking back to safety. It’s the first time I’ve been able to sympathize with a Glee character. I was never a bully, but I did plenty of things to avoid confronting my sexuality growing up.

The rest of the show was typical, a few Aesop’s Fables sprinkled through corny humor and a handful of delightful albeit over-engineered songs. Maybe T-Pain can have his auto-tune machines back when Glee goes on hiatus.

The Free Ride is Over

2010-11-09T04:39:54Z

I’ve always been of the opinion that while supporting your favorite candidate is important, when election day nears, the final push and vote should be for someone with a chance of winning. Any significant split vote can easily lead to placing the worst possible candidate into office.

Lucky for Democrats and Republicans, vote splitting is usually not a problem. Party line is the status quo; people either acknowledge the split vote problem and take the trade-off, or are too lazy to do the research in the first place.

The major parties have been riding this train for years. We vote for a favored party year in and year out because the single other choice is horrifying. A quick poll on twitter corroborates my theory. Only one person responded that they were unwavering with their choices.

To vote party line is an understandable and not-unreasonable position to take. I think we can all see the logic in wanting to vote for someone with a chance. It seems moot to vote for someone you know has no chance before the polls even open. That mindset doesn’t take the full climate of politics into mind, though.

That’s why I’m announcing a personal policy shift. From here on out, I will vote for the best candidate, not the lesser of two evils.

Politicians running for either of the two big parties are comfortable. They see a single opponent. TheyÂ know that their only impedance to winning is one other person. As voters, we’ve removed accountability from the system.

With that in mind, politicians have little motivation to do anything but vote with their party. We continually elect the same people, those without the electorate in mind. They are driven by the desire to maintain their career with only the unchecked American media (whose biggest interest is sensationalism in order to make money) and unlimited corporate contributions to influence them. Voters have become mere minions in a popularity contest between two lost giants.

The binary system is not working.

We’re (nearly) all to blame. We haven’t been educating ourselves and we haven’t been voting with a brain. Electing the ideal candidate is difficult; it requires time and effort to match values with names. Americans are lazy and unbiased data is difficult to find.

My proposition: for all future elections, vote for the best candidate. My offer: to build a trustworthy source of information before the next election. We have an obligation not just to vote, but to vote for people who will steer America in the right direction, and few who hold office today are there.

I’m ripping the pegs off my bike; the free ride is over.

If you are interested in joining a project to make information on politicians easier to access, more trustworthy, and more personal; and you have a strong knowledge of politics, technology, or design, please contact me at jbouvier@thatdorkjordan.com for more information.