@the-sideproject.com...

Eyes Open

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 08:45:38 PDT

mood : thoughful

earfood : the messenger, linkin park

current location : her's

currently reading : none :)

"sometimes, smaller dreams have to be pushed aside for the larger ones to come" -the ultimate fuckery that i've learned the hard way.

okay. i've been good. very good in fact i've been so unbelievably good that saying this actually sounds wrong. for once, im actually going to class and doing what im supposed to do on time, every time. also, i havent been drinking as much as i used to anymore. plus, my cursings have been greatly reduced to what a sane person would say, adequate and appropriate. and the best part ? i've been nicotine-sober for 9 weeks!

it wasnt easy, trust me. at times, i feel like digging out my own lungs and chew on it. there were countless of sleepless nights, body itchings and all the other withdrawal symptoms. there was time where i felt that i could give anything for a puff. all in all, i couldnt take it at all :(

but i insisted that i will not give in to my lust for nicotine. and just like that, i left the world i once knew and everything that comes with it behind. every single damn thing, swept under the rug like a pile of dust. a pile of useless and disgusting dust. it was one the hardest thing for me to do at the time and also the only thing i had to do. it wasnt easy at all for me.

thankfully, she was there with me. side by side to help me through one of the hardest journeys of my life. her unconditional love and advice were there every moment of it. she did not give up on me at all so i wasnt fair if i were to given up on her.

and now, a few weeks later, i never felt better. at times it didnt even register in my mind that i was a smoker once too. just the mere thought of it disgusts me now. i feel so much better now that im free from my past. and i couldnt be happier knowing that she still here, enjoying the present and planning for a future, with me, hand in hand.

i guess when life leaves us blind, love really keeps us kind eh ? ;)

Late Night Prose

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sun, 29 May 2011 09:43:26 PDT

holy smokes! look ma' im writing again after a fairly extensive hiatus initiated under the pretext of me taking some time off from all of this when in fact, i've been just procrastinating as always due to the lack of "fucktards intolerance" that has been wearing off considering the fact that right now, as of this moment, im living a happy life... :)

having said that, i'm no longer living in a life so miserable where i laugh/get laughed on other's miscreant fucks as always where at the end of the day, a cigarette will always bring butterflies and sunshine-coloured-jello to my tummy so wonderful i would eventually vomit them out...

fortunately for me, the past 3 months or so have taught me to see clearly of what i really want in life and also, helped me see clearly who's there to help me get it, be it within close proximity or remotely, it doesn't really matter... also to much of my horror, who to stay the fuck away from... and with a heavy heart, i did what i thought was for the best for me and dear god, i was right!

for one, i've escaped the deadly noose of nicotine that has been troubling me since forever. it is still in a test phase but i know deep down, this will not just end there. the success of this might as well be credited to someone so special to me, but we'll talk about it later... ;)

also, i've learnt to clean up my own mess unlike last time where i would gladly wait for someone to wipe my ass every time i take a shit, metaphorically. in such honour, i would declare those days are done. no more. out. in the trash.

also it finally came into my epiphany that in life, we dont always get what we want but instead, what we really need is what comes along in the most sneaky ways we could imagine and that is the real test; whether we grab it or lose it while waiting for the wants...

and as always before i end my post, i would like to induce a certain level of false hopes (high enough) to you guys to believe that i will not post anymore ranting posts in the future hoping that my blog traffic stays the same by a simple line of poor convincing but you know i know thats not gonna happen, so i might as well skip that part eh? ;)

.. ..and of course, readers of my sad little blog, the bombshell of this post!

TADAAAAAA！

meet the lovely lady, Alena Chua Hui En <3

for the past 7 weeks, she has helped me realised a whole loads of things but mostly, she has taught me how to be strong when im at my darkest moment and also how to keep my head held up high even when i've fallen to the deepest of depths. also, she has been there, alongside me, to share the joy of everyday's little or big things and also the pain in every hardship God decides for us to suffer...

i know although it is not been long since we're together, but i have a great feeling about this. And yes, i would definitely wanna make this right. IM SURE I WANNA MAKE THIS RIGHT!

i <3 you, Alena Chua Hui En ! :)

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 04:00:39 PST

woke up at an unearthly hour of 1 pm just for the sake of cleaning up the apartment as mom and dad dropped by earlier to pass me my laptop charger. just last sunday, i mindlessly packed my mom's charger instead and she had to drag my dad to come here and get her's back.. true story

on a sidenote, todat i had one of the best ayam penyet in my life for lunch ! more on that later as after all, today is just another lazy friday ;)

Flash Delirium

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sun, 29 May 2011 08:43:19 PDT

Jumping into Puddles !

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 09:37:49 PST

earfood : Hoppipolla, Sigur Rós

fact is, i haven't been blogging for quite some time. heck, not even nearly as often as how i used to be a few months back but this totally can't come as a surprise to you guys since i've pretty much given up on it with the numerous postage of posts-written-on-drunk-mode, half-drunk mode, keyboard-not-working-moments and pure bullshit. truth is, i'm surprise by the fact that i'm still surprised that after all this while, it just finally came into my realization that all of this is going nowhere, set aside a moment where 20 years from, now i open my laptop and type in this address and laugh at my own work of art, or rather pure bullshit. in light of such epiphany, there is a part of me who wants to shut this site down for good and kiss the past 3 years of my blogging life's ass goodbye, and just like every story that has been ever told, there is also a part of me who wants to keep this alive, for as long as it gets...

i find this site very peaceful at times, just like my hideout where i can rant and tell the whole world my part of the story where nobody reads anymore, and explain in squeaky details of other fuck's unfortunate misery and get a good laugh out of it every time i read it and also, to share amongst people, who unfortunately for you, still read my blog, stuff that are awesome and stuff that are not, which is solely based on my opinion and my opinion only. which is plain sad because just yesterday, i read about a blogger whom i used to follow avidly is now being sued alongside Google (yes! Google) for expressing his private opinion on a restaurant in his blog...

which brings me to my second point, i've spent 40 USD and 3 months to finally get this address. so shutting this site down isn't going to do any good for me since i will be wasting a huge part of my life that i've wasted on it the first place..

and finally, i've earned more than RM380+ from Nuffnang ever since i joined them a year back. so this is kinda easy way to earn some side income (like fuck yeah, all i have to do is shit down and share my miserable life with some miserable people and i get paid! wtf right) so yea.., i think i'm still in deep love with this site ;)

on a totally unrelated note, this past month has been unbelievably fun for me... all i can summarize is that i've just taken a roller coaster ride to the highest peak of all peaks and circled the circles of awesomeness, plunged into the sudden death of all deaths and now, it is time for me to get off because it has reached the end of the ride.. although i will definitely miss it badly but it is time for me to go. i deem my ticket is well-worth and i won't regret every single penny i paid for it :)

goodbye now ;)

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 08:23:29 PST

things i've changed...
1) the theme of the blog... (a recent study conducted by some awesome people found out that the colour pink can...,wait for it, greatly increase the human's sexual desire ! explanation has yet to be given but nahh, we don't need em')
2) nothing else...

matrix gaga

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 07:20:38 PST

combining two of the world's most wonderful things can be awesome eh ? step one towards total eccentricism. im drunk please ignore me.

christmas came early this year :)

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 07:30:16 PST

mood : festive :)
earfood : i wont be back for christmas, blink 182

just some time last year, i made a christmas wishlist. a list so sappy and ridiculous, consisted of 7 things i thought i can have it all. as it turned out, i was really reaching for the stars back then. so for this year, instead of being the king of wishful thinking again, i've only got one wish for this year's merry little christmas : for the world to be a better place for everybody! i figure perhaps if i make wishes not for myself, st. nick's gonna be extra kind ? ;)

...as for myself, i've gotten what i've always wanted exactly a week ago ;) hence, the title, duh ? :p

...it may come as a total surprise for you guys who doesnt know yet (even myself) but im really happy for things to turn out the way the are right now :)

p/s : yess i know i know i know my wish this year is exactly the same as no.7 on the previous list! babi nyaaaaa

Guess who's back ? Back again.

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 04:22:43 PST

For the uninitiated, I've finally figured out how to operate the washing machine successfully !

Can't believe its actually as simple as adding water into a live heating radiator while juggling 6 oranges with the other free hand and at the same time, doing the happy feet dance !

Technology huh ? My ass.

On a sidenote, I'll be changing the layout of everything again, soon. There was a moment of contemplation of changing to wordpress but then again, it means that I will lose 'the-sideproject.com' that I waited for ages to finally buy it. So after careful deliberation, I'll still be here, powered by blogspot but with a new facelift. A much more simpler one :)

Thanks guys for following me after all this while when even I myself has almost given up ! Cheers, madapharquerss ! :p

If you ignore this post, the steak on your plate will turn into a huge blue cow and eat you alive !

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:20:32 PST

mood : delighted ! :)

earfood : sway, ana free

reading : harry potter & the deathly hallows

location : balcony

hi there ! readers, stalkers, followers, zealots and my brothers from another mother, i'm here again and i'm really really proud to say that.., unfortunately after all this while, i'm not dead yet, still. and god forbid i'm not here to talk about some old farts' destitute misery or making a promise of how i would change the world also sell a bunch of lies to you of how certain a splendid time is guaranteed for all bullshit. i'm just here to talk about something and i don't even see the need of me being here. maybe i should have perished like years back. but heck, i'm still fucking breathing for all i care! well, it just occurred to me randomly, bluntly that perhaps the universe still has plans for me ? waiting for the right moment to exploit me and wanting my soul to serve certain purpose ? whatever it is, i still don't give a fuck !

just last night when i was browsing the internet aimlessly, it came to me a sudden realization, for me to check my mailbox. for what possible reasons ? i don't know. for one, i'm not the kinda guy who checks on emails and shit and at the rate of it going, there's prolly up to 10k worth of unread messages and that's encouraging, really. as soon as i signed in, i started scanning through the first page without really reading any of em'. second page came and went just like that. it was quite boring really right up until the fourth page. there's this message from the prince of krokozhia (sounded almost as the place where tom hanks came from in the movie 'The Terminal'). I was gob smacked! imagine, the prince of wherever fuck sent me an email ?? for what possible reasons ?? am i that important ??

as my heart beating at the rate of a million beats a second, i click on the link and read the message word for word. sweat was dropping from my palm as i continued reading and by the time i reached the end, my heart stopped for a fraction of a second. then it took about 5 yearly minutes for me to collect myself and to realize what the fuck has just happened. according to the prince, the king of qjwdwdk has just passed away and left him with an enormous fortune (which converted into dollars, USD$ 46.3 trillion exactly!). He later on added that it is impossible for him to possess that amount of money whole and whole be extremely delighted if i were to share with him 20 % of it. in return, i'll have to open up a local bank account and bank in USD$ 2000 for him as transportation fees. imagine, paying 2000 bucks for 9.2 trillion ! that's one hell of a good deal ! so while i clumsily tapped on the keyboard to open a new account, i accidentally opened another email.

on this email, apparently the creator of facebook, mark zuckerberg thinks that facebook is too overpopulated these days and wants to delete some accounts to make it less-congested. he requests that we need to forward this email to at least 50 people by the end of the week or else our profiles will be deleted ! now that would not be good, would it ? panic of losing my account, i went over the the desktop to get all my contacts' email addresses to get going so that all the forwarding can be done by the end of the week. just as i was about to put down my laptop from my scorching lap, an email notification popped on my berry. reluctantly, i tapped the nuvi trackpad to see what is it about. another email from a another complete stranger. this last email said that a girl was raped and murdered in a mall downtown and her body was buried behind some deserted shack over the mountains. feeling sorry for her, i shed a tear. an obligatory tear. finishing the email, there was a p/s at the bottom. so what the heck i thought, since i've read from the start, why not finish it ? it says - if you don't forward this to 50 people and her is not found by the end of the day, the ghost of her will rape you and kill you !

I LOVE THE INTERNET ! <3

What should you do if you lose your keys?

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 22:13:47 PST

1. freak out !
2. curse at everyone !
3. do the chicken dance with annoying songs playing all over your head.
4. look for em' in the tissue box in your car !
5. finally, calm the fuck down ! :)

on a totally unrelated note, the kitchen is a mess. would someone care to do the dishes for me ? ;)

My 2nd Nuffnang Cheque ! :)

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 04:03:21 PDT

.....like what i've said before, blogging is fun ! ;)

dear diary...

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 10:50:04 PDT

its been a long time, huh?

ages have passed since the last update. the planet frozen into a tremendous solar winter, melted down accordingly and repopulated. and, it is with great honor to inform you that traffic to the-sideproject.com has finally dwindled down to nothingness and to be perfectly honest, i couldnt care less. fortunately for me, this means freedom ! freedom for me to scribble all sorts of ugly fucks and not feel embarrassed about it.

earlier this week, i went out with a friend. a friend that grew soo much over the years ( i remembered her being 4 feet tall and now, she's 17 years old. wow! ) we talked and joked about each other, catching up on how much we've left last time.. what a whirlwind, it was, having able to talk so much in mere couple of hours.

now that im twenty, i dont think that i can see things the way they were before anymore. unbeknownst to me on whether it is a gift or curse, i pretty much accepted it as the way it is. perhaps that is all part of growing up in making me who i will be some other day.

the past 18 months have finally knocked some sense into me. im cant be who i am anymore. people change eventually, like it or not, its inevitable. im thinking of.....nahh enough emotional garbage for one post. im signing off already. the sounds of bugs rocketing inches away from my earlobes are fucking annoying ! so are the lights.

on a sidenote, today marks a very significant day. today is the day i finally grew some balls and made a very important decision in my life that has adverse effects on the course of the entire lifetime. today is also the day i will think of stop writing. in any way, the thinking part has been done. about the doing part, well i shall leave it for some other time, the near future, perhaps?

... and today i will stop thinking of you. or maybe i'll leave that for another day as well ? ;)

..."and i'll forget the world that i knew, but i swear i wont forget you"

The Art of Racing In The Rain

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 08:20:15 PDT

2.13am, hopeful, collide by howie day, the art of racing in the rain by garth stein, balcony, 23 degrees, dark, grey sweatshirt and toy train printed boxers...

recently i've been thinking too much of senna...which accrued to my desire to give this book a 4th read. and just like that, all of a sudden his words, his axioms of life, his unbelievable overtaking skills at the slightest possible corners scenes and that cheeky smirk on his face every time he wins a race mellow a smile on my face. for the first time in 32 days, im smiling like a kid on crack.

for unknown reasons i yet to know, i came back home last sunday with this ponderous feeling, gripping, clinging tightly to my heart as if acting like a reminder of a task i've yet to accomplish but then again, for unknown reasons, my body did not seem to attain. only a moment ago as the cold breeze swiped my face soothingly and concurrently made a mess out of my hair and disarrayed the pages of this book, i felt a lot better...

better still, i got shitloadsa shit to catch up as for my finals is just a few days away....whoop de doo! :)

"On a given day, a given circumstance, you think you have a limit. And you then go for this limit and you touch this limit, and you think, 'Okay, this is the limit.' As soon as you touch this limit, something happens and you suddenly can go a little bit further. With your mind power, your determination, your instinct, and the experience as well, you can fly very high..." Ayrton Senna (1960-1994)

Off

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 03:14:43 PDT

recently, too many things have had happened concurrently that were beyond the limitation of the minuscule mind of mine to digest and instead of working harder, it regurgitates it all out into a pile of sludge that looks nothing less like a jar of expired cough syrup. but in the end, im surprised that im still surprised by the fact that maybe for some unknown reasons, my lack of judgment and my inability to see things as simple as they seem to be are after all been pulling the strings behind this shit. in face of such epiphany, i dont quite sure what to say anymore. its been 2 months since i left the sanctuary whereby i chilled for 6 months without having to worry about anything and suddenly, im not quite sure how to do this anymore. or perhaps its just me ? in light of this, some would blissfully argue that im doing just fine, but others would reluctantly object.... but anyway, this is not supposed to be a ranting post, instead an update. some kinda sign showing that im still alive despite having abandoned my blog for more than 2 weeks....

on a sidenote, i lighted a lighter on fire in a restaurant 5 days ago...the poor thing combusted in way that was beyond any lighter had endured and in the end, exploded with the most mind-blowing explosion witnessed by mankind. R.I.P Lighter !

The day I meet the coolest guy on planet Earth...

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:19:49 PDT

Enough said.

Talking To Strangers

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 09:02:57 PDT

i used to think that my inability to start random conversations with strangers will one day be the death of me. well, not anymore. turns out that it was a good thing after all when last week while waiting for a friend for lunch by the campus rear gate, against everything i've ever stood for, i walked up to a complete stranger (a-6-feet-tall-nice-looking-african-guy) who was at that moment, smoking a mild 7 cigarette with his fingers tapping rhythmically on the virtual qwerty keypad of his htc smartphone and said 'hi'. nothing fancy. just a simple 'hi' with a smile on my lips and never for a moment in my life it occur to me that the word 'hi' can prompt such destructive and perpetual catastrophic effect on the soul of a 19 year old...

there was once a time where i don't even look at the crowd of people walking to/from class as i passed them by back in college. it would be an exceptional sight to see me lifting my head off the ground even just for a second and by all means, if someone got that on still photography, it would sell like hell. some would argue that da vinci perhaps painted a different version of the mona lisa on the ground and i was preoccupied in search of that piece of fine lost art that i haven't had the time to lift my head up and catch a glimpse of the world. some say im just shy.. wtf?

truth is, i just don't talk much. reason? i piss people off the moment i start talking. its an unusual yet stupefying ability that God let me have in order to make the world a better place :)

now. time has changed. as a law student in the making, i need to talk more and converse into random conversations with random people more and by all means, piss more people off at the same time too...for im a multitasker. i talk and piss people off the same time :)

anyway, the conversation below is exactly what happened next after i said 'hi'...

Guy : Hey man. Wassup? How are you doing man? *insert deep african accent*
Me : Im doing great. What about you? .... *went on for a moment*
Guy : Blaaa Blaaaa Blaaaa
Me : Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa
....
....
....
....
and finally,
Guy : Hey my friend, do you think it is possible if I borrow 3000 bucks from you? I need to pay for my tuition fees to the university and my account is having a minor problem at the moment. The international exchange rate is not....err err steady, at the moment so they can't process my account yet. So my friend, what do you say?
Me : Errr... 3000 bucks in Zimbabwean dollars?

never a dull moment

satuday..

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 10:34:54 PDT

12.46am- ayer keroh...
just a second ago, i was curled up semiperfectly beneath the immense warmness of my toy-train-print-comforter digesting the final few pages of existentialism without realizing that supper has been unwillingly discounted from the list-of-things-to-do-before-bedtime indefinitely. now its almost 1 and somehow i just dont feel like going out, (must be the weird noises coming from the hallway) despite the fact that im horribly famished and its also saturday night, -no one stays at home on saturday nights, that of course unless you're a gay/faggot/justin bieber's fan-

i genuinely dont know if im actually transgressing the saturday night act for not leaving my room immediately but honestly, i dont really care..

i just dont really know how to put these in words but right now, the petite act of putting on a pair of shorts, a dirty old tshirt and drag my heavy body to the mamak seems impossibly impossible at the moment. my head seems heavy but my eyes are eternally conscious for im trying too hard to not to sleep and also at the same time i feel like the whole world is falling down right on my face simultaneously.

plus, my roomie's busy packing all his belongings right now as he's leaving tomorrow first thing in the morning (imma miss you dude!) and the sound of all the grinding and crushing and crumbling and scraping from books, laptop cooler pads to multicoloured foldable laundry basket is circumventing me from understanding the last chapter of existentialism, the role of failure in success.

anyway, screw saturday nights. imma pour myself a drink right now and enjoy youtube videos...

speaking of which, recently i came across this really cute girl on youtube who posts comical videos of everyday life of hers. really awesome stuff...

...saturday nights are always awesome!..

..if you know what to do ;)

..is earned, not given

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 22:53:14 PDT

the word of the day is happiness :)

Zombie in action

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 06:32:15 PDT

-its almost 9 and im still reading existentialism, totally disregarding the fact that i still have an on-going assignment due next month :)

i was a dead animal the whole day- i did not sleep well last night and apart from that, i slept with my contact lenses intact the whole whats-left-of-a-night until late this morning. and when i woke up, i couldn't open my eyes! later on, i walked to the food court with massive bloodshot eyes and gotten myself quite an enormous amount of glares and stares from passers-by, with their looks as if were asking me, "dude have you been drinking? are you drunk? are you gonna kill me anytime soon?"

"no. no. and yes if you dont keep your eyes somewhere else", i answered. but of course, they couldn't hear me.

i hate it when i don't get enough sleep, i'll get irritated by anything and everything and the simplest of things. even when people walking behind of me, i'll get very frustrated. take for instance, whilst i was walking to the food court earlier straight outta bed, this dude was walking closely behind me bust tapping on his cell's keypad and i already felt like yelling, " dude wtf cant you walk somewhere else instead??"

also my wifi was fucked and that alone added to my pile of misery and in turn got me even more aggravated. felt like throwing my laptop off the second floor. seriously i was unimaginably annoyed!

with my judgement of rationalization bearing nearly zero, i went to the pc fair held inside my uni campus and bought myself a printer and a usb wifi for 150 bucks. turns out that the usb wifi was totally unnecessary because my wifi is working fine! one of my housemates did not pay the internet bill for more that 3 weeks already so the line was disconnected.

you can only imagine my frustration right now (no you can't)! felt like eating people for breakfast tomorrow! omm nom nom nom......

i walked like a zombie the whole day. i acted like a zombie the whole day. i felt like a zombie the whole day. better still, i was vaguely aware of what i had for lunch and totally oblivious of whether or not i've taken dinner. just a couple of minutes ago, i managed to pull myself together and actually for a moment, acted like a perfectly imperfect human being. also, it just came to my realization that tomorrow's monday!

oh shit it's monday!

the talk of the cock

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Fri, 28 May 2010 07:09:43 PDT

i've always wanted to be a columnist if i grow up.....(notice the rather irrelevant conditional. due to the nature of how i've chosen to live my life, the adverse would be irrelevant as well, but what the heck right?)

maybe write about cars -performance parts, tried-tested-proven-over-the-head-theories and eventually strip jeremy clarkson's column off the sunday times-, and jokes -sarcasm! which is unfortunately not something that i am good at. maybe people just dont get me- or even maybe something about law -considering the fact that i'll be doing law for the next 5 years or so so why not? anyway, i'll probably turn the facts into a burlesque of justice when elements of heavy sarcasm were introduced-...

even when i was 8, when half of the class wanted to be doctors, i wanted to be a writer. as a columnist. or maybe even publish my own books if i get the chance. (notice the rather appropriate conditional. this is due to the fact that the adverse is really irrelevant, not to mention preposterous!)

but recently, i was told to give up writing (directly, but not as a whole). i was daunted! i mean how can i let go writing? its just wrong. later on, to add insult to injury, he majestically proceeds to claim that my writings are grotesque and awful choices of words, and utterly ridiculous. and just like that, my heart sank. he used to be an avid reader of my blog and now, such product of air and vocal chords interactions, like the tip of a spear, dipped in deadly poison, pierced through my heart exceedingly.

truth be told, i really adore fine writings very very much. as they would say, "a picture paints a thousand words". i'd say, "a word can write out the heart of the painter".

i've started this blog out since november 2008 and posted over 200+ posts and over time, gained the trust of 16 wonderful and awesome people, who subsequently writes just as good as me, better even! over 500+ comments were received & replied and the total unique visitors that found their way to this humble site racked up to 17000+.. i know. my blog doesn't really have amazing vital stats but heck, its still up and running.

used to be a time where bloghoppers would come and say stuff like, "hey your blog so not popular why go buy a .com? act like damn popular only, &%$#*!"

writing is really not something easy. when you write for people to read, you dont feel the satisfaction, bliss, atonement, fulfillment, relief and more importantly, achievement. when you write what you wanna write, people fuck you, hard. jesus.

recently i came across an awesome blogger who wrote in his blog, "writing is not for the fainthearted".

HOW FUCKING TRUE!!!

getaway 2.0

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Tue, 25 May 2010 03:52:08 PDT

as the claws of a stranded bat in the attic battling violently against the soft sad vulnerable plywood ceilings 10 feet above my head, i flip the pages of the latest edition of the newsweek expeditiously. continuous reading follows on with stock market analysis which i have no absolute understanding on and something about eschatology pops out of somewhere between a vodka ad page and something about the NPT summit. all sorts of post-apocalyptic stuff and the evolution of god, and how it changed the world. the sound continues. deeply annoyed with all the screeching overhead, i decide that its in the best interest of the poor fella and mine if i just go to sleep...

bad move.

the screeching continues and its really beginning to annoy me to the point of frustration. so again, in the best interest of it and mine, i decide that throwing the sony ericsson w810i to the ceiling isn't a good move either so i plug into my ipod and tune it to shuffle. besides, i cant really sleep just yet -its 1.45 in the morning, not 4. teenagers dont sleep at 1.45 in the morning. its wrong, both morally and ethically-

then there's the story of how life can really be so unpredictably predictable sometimes...

hypocritical, no? how can something be so unpredictable when you are the one who determines the course of your life, with your actions (and sometimes, inactions)? so now, you're telling me that i do this to make that happen but in the end, that will not happen. is that it? is that what you're saying? stop messing with my head here but it seems to me like you're a moron. its blunt and simple, life does not fuck with us. life deprive us of what we need and what we want. its us who blamed life for fucking with us when after all, all the blames are on us, us alone, period. we simply did not work hard enough for what we want, need.

there's no higher power here. no destiny. no angels and demons and the Great Influence (Constantine) here. its all bullshit. some psychobabble bullshit invented by people thousands of years ago so that we, stuck here believe in something that does not exist.

they said that 8 out of 10 people believe that our lives are controlled by something. destiny, faith etc etc. i'd say - bullshit.

when we worked hard for something and in the end, didnt get it, they'll say that its not bound to happen. its not fated to happen. well, its not true that we don't get what we want. its just that we don't see it there when we actually have it. open up your eyes. you live to see better. not the other way around

.....for after all life is an ephemeral thing, what i'd like to call - the perfect imperfection, 2.0 (upgraded)

in need of a detente

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Mon, 17 May 2010 09:35:52 PDT

in some parts of the world, a long long time ago, disputes were resolved by mutual agreement after a careful consult to the elders. prior to the agreement, both parties will each send a representative up the hills where the elders reside and seek advice from them. also to figure out outcome of the issue - who is right and who is wrong and with him, he will bring along facts and figures, nature of the disputes and pleas written on sheets and sheets of dried animal skin. this act alone usually takes up to a year or so and another year for the young messenger to return to the village and during this period of time, either parties were obliged to stay away from one another, not to make any contact whatsoever. and when finally the young messenger returns and the advice from the elders was passed on, both parties will accept the final verdict perfunctory, without hesitations, no questions asked. or else, their heads will be cut off by the opposition and that act, will not be condemned by anyone, not even by the elders.

today, we resolve a dispute by throwing curses, lighting up opposition buildings on fire and nuking their cities.

jesus.

10 minutes talk

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Tue, 11 May 2010 22:41:16 PDT

...perhaps i would love to offer my heartfelt congratulations to the polis diraja malaysia (pdrm) for shooting innocent kids over the entire course of last week in an effort to make our streets safe again. not to mention the slaughter of a fifteen-year old in the process which resulted in a nationwide outcry, i felt somewhat safer when i was out grocery-shopping just a couple of minutes ago, fully aware of the fact that the cops are out there doing their job, dutifully. you see, the reluctance of going out due the concern of getting shot in the head on the way back sounds equally scary and the acute cravings for kitkat with such formidable proportion has taken its toll on me just a mere couple of minutes ago following an argument with a total stranger on bbm (whose PIN i gotten from a facebook fanpage) which in turn resulted in a even greater craving for kitkat. eventually the mind abnegated and the body obliged so here we go - a 10 minutes drive to the 7-11 and a kitkat bar in my hand. the best part? i didnt get shot! jesus christ, im starting to love cops!

THIS GIRL IS SO AMAZING!

noreply@blogger.com (Jas) — Fri, 07 May 2010 05:34:27 PDT

equipped with 3 iphones, amazingly lavished talents and skills, irrefutable charming personality and a whole new level of cuteness, this girl is sooo gonna be bothering me for the next 3 weeks. i've watched this video for the 67th time as i am writing this :):):):)