The Split

Happy 4th!

Evie At The Split — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 20:12:34 +0000

I may be moving in two weeks (YAY!) but I'm taking this weekend off from packing for a much, much, MUCH overdue trip to see my parents, sis, BIL, and niece and nephew. And I can't wait! I have chubby cheeks to squeeze and babies to hold and old friends to see. In fact, I haven't looked forward to a weekend at "home" so much in ages. After all the drama of the last few months, spending a few days at my sister's house feels like a five-star getaway. Totally comfortable. Good food. Lots of beer. Hilarious kids. There will be lots to love. PLUS, it's my gram's 85th birthday on Sunday.

Tension tames (a little)

Evie At The Split — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 03:02:27 +0000

My STBX and I seem to be entering into a new dynamic...or maybe it's just a natural re-balancing after the horror of the last couple of months (lawsuit threat, return to mediation, serious stress-induced illness). Whatever it is, I'm grateful for it and hope it lasts. For the most part, we're talking like normal humans without the usual undercurrent of disgust. We've just about figured out the summer plan for Miss Monkey without one meltdown on either part, which alone is a feat.

D-Day coming soon...

Evie At The Split — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 02:16:54 +0000

I'm in countdown mode: One month from today, Miss Monkey and I will move into our new home. And most likely, sometime in the next two weeks, I will officially be divorced. Last week, I received an envelope in the mail from the lawyer, fulling expecting that I would no longer be married once I opened it. I had to sit down on the porch for a minute to catch my breath. I wasn't sad or overwhelmed exactly. I just wanted to make sure I was 100% present for what was about to happen. But then it didn't.

Updates, Updates...

Evie At The Split — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 16:44:21 +0000

1. Thanks so much for the wise words of advice after my last post. I know I'm not the only one going through this for the first time ever, but it always helps to be reminded that other moms have been there, too, and survived! The last few nights with Miss Monkey have continued to be trying. She still has so much trouble with the transition from Daddy time to Mommy time (on Wednesday, she literally slept with a picture of her father!). But I have managed to keep it together despites several "I hate you's" and "Everything with you is sooooo boring's".

Major Mommy Guilt....like...Major

Evie At The Split — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 14:21:11 +0000

So Miss Monkey may be 5, but I swear to whatever higher power exists, she thinks she's 15. She bosses me around like I'm her servant (I do not submit). She screams, "NOOOOO!" and "FIIIIIINE!" at the top of her lungs when she doesn't want to do something and/or finally concedes. She must be told at least three, but usually five, times before she does something. Like put on her underpants. Or her shoes. She lies. Oh how she lies. Like this morning when I asked her to wash her hands WITH SOAP and she comes out after one second.

Thank goodness for great friends

Evie At The Split — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 02:17:30 +0000

Heading into the holiday weekend, I didn't have any big plans. Miss Monkey was with her dad through Monday, and I wasn't sure when I'd get to take over. Happily, the handover happen early and we got to spend the whole afternoon together at our local pool. We went down the water slide (about a hundred million times). I cheered after every belly flop she made off the diving board. She cheered when she pulled me into the freezing water all by herself. The girl's got serious muscle! We had a blast. But here and there I felt some pangs of loneliness.

New home on the horizon!

Evie At The Split — Fri, 27 May 2011 01:18:58 +0000

I'm crossing everything and knocking every wooden surface I can find as I type this, but a few days ago my offer on a new place was accepted! Lawyers still need to look over the lease (until we sign, it can still be shown...and stolen!) thus my anti-jinx measures, but I'm super hopeful it's going to work out. SOMETHING has to for once, right?? Will you cross your fingers, too? I might have to go light a candle at the church across the street.

Progress & Reflection

Evie At The Split — Thu, 19 May 2011 03:22:20 +0000

Just got back from our second meeting with our therapist not too long ago. One improvement? I'm not sitting on the couch crying hysterically into the phone with my mother. I'm not saying it was some kind of lovefest (in fact, this time, I was the one who was repeatedly reminded to steer clear of digs and other judgey statements), but I think we both left with a clearer understanding of each other's motivations and why we responded so intensely to this whole situation. For me, I learned that my STBX took my announcement to move out of state as a threat.

What happened next

Evie At The Split — Sun, 15 May 2011 04:05:44 +0000

To everyone who left comments on my last post....thank you so, so much for your sweet words, your encouragement, and most of all, for sharing your stories. They're validating, fortifying, and inspiring always.

Surprise, surprise!

Evie At The Split — Wed, 11 May 2011 02:48:02 +0000

Housekeeping first: How are you?! I miss you! I'm sorry I had to go underground (again)! I'll be sticking around this time...Ptg.com and I have gone all official! Yay!