~ {The Ethereal Realm...} ~

Love found me

2010-09-07T10:44:00.025+08:00

When I'm alone, when I'm down

When I'm in trouble, where there is no sound

It seems all so hopeless, it seems so unfair

Is there an answer? I'm unaware

I fall on my knees, I said a little prayer

Hoping that the Jesus I know

Would show me when and where

I listen and I wait, hearing nothing but the air

I can't keep on running, there's just so much to bear

Where can I find meaning, I have lost my way

Where can I find reason, the strength to live this day?

I search beyond the mountain

I look deep in the sea

I wish that I found something

I wish that I found me

As I open my eyes, tears fell down my cheek

I saw that dusty big old book, once gave light to things I seek

Remembering the good and the bad times

I thought I was alone

The words: "I gave My life for you, child"

on that rugged tree of love

Love gives me the meaning

Love shows me the way

Love gives me the reason, the strength to live this day

Love beyond the mountain

deeper than the sea

Love gives me that something

This love has found me

Because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time'...

2010-08-19T16:55:00.016+08:00

Came across an old article which is worth sharing with all today, do read on and be blessed...

Date with a Woman

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie... She said, I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

'What's wrong, are you well?' she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I responded.

'Just the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much...'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.

When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on... She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, 'she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'. We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.,

'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life..

We talked so much that we missed the movie...

As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home.

'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.

I love you, son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU!' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

Inspirational Quotes...

2009-09-24T10:22:00.018+08:00

"You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing."- Michael Pritchard

"The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity."- Benjamin Franklin

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."- Dale Carnegie

"People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."- Abraham Lincoln

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Better keep yourself bright and clean. You are the window through which you must see the world."- George Bernard Shaw

"Be absolutely determined to enjoy what you do."- Gerry Sikorski

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"- Ghandi

"Better to live one year as a tiger than one hundred as a sheep." - Madonna

"The art of being yourself at your best is the art of unfolding your personality into the man you want to be. Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others."- Wilfred Peterson

"Love all, trust few. Do wrong to no one." - William Shakespeare

"No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted."- Aesop

"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood."- Ralph Nichols

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."- Mark Twain

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self."- Aldous Huxley

"Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much."- Blaise Pascal

"I haven't failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."- Thomas Edison

"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up."- Vince Lombardi

"The quality of an individual is reflected in the standards they set for themselves."- Ray Kroc

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step."- Confucius

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him."- Booker T. Washington

"Was she so loved because her eyes were so beautiful, or were her eyes so beautiful because she was loved?" - Anzia Yezierska

"Nothing is black or white."- Nelson Mandela

“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” —Indian (Cherokee) Proverb

Ae ú-esteliach nad...estelio Iesus. Estelio Eru. Ná Eru veria le, vanimelda...

2009-08-25T15:25:00.008+08:00

Edinor veren, B. vanimelda… Ná Eru veria le, ná meleth dín síla erin rád o chuil lín. Caro naid dithin na meleth veleg…

誕生日おめでとうございます、親しい最愛の人。大きい愛で小さいことをし続けて、そしてあなたがこの世界で見ることを望む変更であってください...... 神は常に極めてあなたを祝福します...... これはあなたのために私の祈とうです。愛と許可で今までに......

Lonely Hearts...

2009-08-24T17:59:00.015+08:00

~Adapted from RBC Ministries, Strength for the Journey: 24th August, 2009~

Three men were stranded on a desert island. A genie appeared and promised to grant each of them just one wish. So the first guy says, “I want to go back to my job with the brokerage firm.” Shazam, he’s back in the office behind his desk. The second guy says, “I’d like to be back in Chicago with my family.” Instantly, he’s zapped back to the Midwest. So the genie turns to the last guy and says, “What’ll it be for you?” He looks around and says, “It’s so lonely here. I wish my friends were back.”

Actually, the pain of loneliness is no laughing matter. And, sad to say, there is no magic-genie cure for the loneliness so many of us struggle with. After God created Adam, He said that it is not good for man to be alone and created Eve for companionship and mutual encouragement. So, it’s no wonder that we hurt when we are disconnected from others who could be a source of satisfaction and joy.

Yet, in one sense, even the loneliest among us is not truly alone. In fact, Jesus not only assures us of His presence but can empathize with the agony of our loneliness. He was brutally cast off by His own people, the object of criticism and scorn, abandoned by His best friends in His hour of need, and betrayed by a trusted colleague. Still, in the midst of this loneliness He was not truly alone. John 8:29 records Christ’s strong confidence in the midst of His standing alone when He says, “The one who sent Me is with Me; He has not left Me alone.” And even though He realized His teaching was rejected by men, He said, “If I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent Me” (v.16).

The only true loneliness is the aloneness of being disconnected from God. When we live disconnected from Him, we scramble to fill the void with food, sex, alcohol, shopping, drugs, or meaningless activity. Many of us will do anything to medicate the emptiness we feel without God. In its advanced stages, this aloneness from God fogs our outlook with a cloud of cynicism until our only response to life is “Who cares?” or “Whatever.”

The only real way out is to cling to Jesus, the one who will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) and the one who promises to give us life, in fact life more abundantly (John 10:10).
Maybe we know this, but we’ve been afraid to put all our eggs in the basket of all Jesus has to offer. Maybe our fear is reflected in the words of the poet who wrote, “lest having Him I would have nothing else beside.”

But Christ will never let us down. Jesus is certainly no magic genie. He does not exist in a foggy vision only to vanish in a puff of smoke. In fact, it’s just the opposite—we have the assurance that He is constantly with us. Jesus said, in Matthew 28:20, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Because of this promise, we can trust that God will never leave us stranded alone on the desert island of life without Him, but will satisfy us with His presence and peace.

Psalm 139:7-10 (New International Version)

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

Isaiah 49:13-16 (New International Version)

13 Shout for joy, O heavens;
rejoice, O earth;
burst into song, O mountains!

For the LORD comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

14 But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me,
the Lord has forgotten me."

15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!

16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me.

Romans 8:35-39 (New International Version)

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:

"For your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[a] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Hebrews 13:5 (New International Version)

5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,

"Never will I leave you;

never will I forsake you."[a]

Scriptures imprint:

• He alone is worthy of our worship (Habakkuk 2:18-20).
• We do not define Him; He defines us (Romans 1:21-23).
• He is completely sovereign; any lesser view is manmade (Isaiah 45:9).

+God bless...+

Pray and Ask...for...Everyone who Asks Receives...

2009-08-24T16:23:00.016+08:00

~Adapted from RBC Ministries, Today's My Utmost for His Highest: 24th August, 2009~

What man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? —Matthew 7:9

The illustration of prayer that our Lord used here is one of a good child who is asking for something good. We talk about prayer as if God hears us regardless of what our relationship is to Him (seeMatthew 5:45 ). Never say that it is not God’s will to give you what you ask. Don’t faint and give up, but find out the reason you have not received; increase the intensity of your search and examine the evidence. Is your relationship right with your spouse, your children, and your fellow students? Are you a "good child" in those relationships? Do you have to say to the Lord, "I have been irritable and cross, but I still want spiritual blessings"? You cannot receive and will have to do without them until you have the attitude of a "good child."

We mistake defiance for devotion, arguing with God instead of surrendering. We refuse to look at the evidence that clearly indicates where we are wrong. Have I been asking God to give me money for something I want, while refusing to pay someone what I owe him? Have I been asking God for liberty while I am withholding it from someone who belongs to me? Have I refused to forgive someone, and have I been unkind to that person? Have I been living as God’s child among my relatives and friends? (see Matthew 7:12 ).

I am a child of God only by being born again, and as His child I am good only as I "walk in the light" ( 1 John 1:7 ). For most of us, prayer simply becomes some trivial religious expression, a matter of mystical and emotional fellowship with God. We are all good at producing spiritual fog that blinds our sight. But if we will search out and examine the evidence, we will see very clearly what is wrong— a friendship, an unpaid debt, or an improper attitude. There is no use praying unless we are living as children of God. Then Jesus says, regarding His children, "Everyone who asks receives . . ." ( Matthew 7:8 ).

The Smallest Ray of Light...Always in My Heart...

2009-07-22T10:30:00.025+08:00

"May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out..."

"Hope is always something that is not easily found or seen. But, Hope is one thing that will never fade, as long as you have faith. Even the smallest ray of light can fill the sky in time..."

"True love isn't a feeling... It's choosing to sacrifice yourself and love someone even when they reject and rebel against you."

Ashira I'Adonai...

2009-06-05T11:43:00.025+08:00

{Taken from "When You Believe" ~ The Prince of Egypt}

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
long before we knew we could

Miriam (chorus)

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Tzipporah

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proved in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
With heart so full
I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

Miriam and Tzipporah (chorus)

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Hebrew Children

A-shir-ra i'a-do-nai ki ga-oh ga-oh
(I will sing to the lord for he has triumphed gloriously)
A-shir-ra i'a-do-nai ki ga-oh ga-oh
(I will sing to the lord for he has triumphed gloriously)
Mi-cha-mo-cha ba-elim adonai
(Who is like You, oh Lord, among the celestial)
Mi-cha-mo-cha ne-dar-ba-ko-desh
(Who is like You, majestic in holiness)
Na-chi-tah v'-chas-d'-cha am zu ga-al-ta
(In Your Love, You lead the people You redeemed)
Na-chi-tah v'-chas-d'-cha am zu ga-al-ta
(In Your Love, You lead the people You redeemed)
A-shi-ra, a-shi-ra, A-shi-ra.......

Hebrews (Chorus)

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
Now you will
You will when you believe......

Miriam and Tzipporah

You will when you believe

The HEART...is the ONE Thing which Makes ALL the Difference...

2009-06-04T14:18:00.013+08:00

Each time, prior to my venturing to the cinema theatre to watch a film, I will pray and ask the Holy Spirit to open my heart and unlock my mind that I may discern the message which God wants to imply to me via that particular film...

"Everyone deserves a second chance."

"What is the difference between humans and machines?"
"It is something which cannot be programmed..."
"It is...a Strong Heart."
"And...it can NEVER be erased, or taken away..."

May you also hear the whisper of God to you via everything you do...in your everyday life...

+ God bless much... +

First Things First

2009-04-22T10:13:00.012+08:00

~Taken from RBC Ministries, Our Daily Bread: 27th April, 2009~

A seminar leader wanted to make an important point, so he took a wide-mouth jar and filled it with rocks. “Is the jar full?” he asked. “Yes,” came a reply. “Oh, really?” he said. Then he poured smaller pebbles into the jar to fill the spaces between the rocks. “Is it full now?” “Yes,” said someone else. “Oh, really?” He then filled the remaining spaces between the rocks and stones with sand. “Is it full now?” he asked.

“Probably not,” said another, to the amusement of the audience. Then he took a pitcher of water and poured it into the jar.

“What’s the lesson we learn from this?” he asked. An eager participant spoke up, “No matter how full the jar is, there’s always room for more.” “Not quite,” said the leader. “The lesson is: to get everything in the jar, you must Always put the BIG things in First.”

Jesus proclaimed a similar principle in the Sermon on the Mount. He knew that we waste our time worrying about the little things that seem so urgent but crowd out the big things of eternal value. “Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things,” Jesus reminded His hearers. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matt. 6:32-33).

What are you putting first in your life? — Dennis J. De Haan

Make It Practical

• Always pray before planning.

• Always love people more than things.

• Do all things to please God.

Those who lay up treasures in heaven are the richest people on earth.

E... I... S... N... T... F... J... P... Who Am I...?

2009-04-21T11:49:00.027+08:00

For ages, those who are close to me have commented that I seem to live in a world of my own, that I am different from the rest...that at times, it is as if I were almost...isolated...or, moreover...severed...from this world.

Through the years, I have come to realise that, most of the time, my values and opinions tend to be diversed...as in,varying...from the views of the general majority.

For all my life, I have striven hard to try and understand this world, sometimes so overwhelmed by it all that I wish I could just vanish into thin air, or that the Heavenly Father would just call me home then and there...

I love the world and its people (I truly mean it). Yet...I just feel so out of place sometimes - there are times that I find it difficult to merge into a group and mingle with the others - because during times like that, I will happen to be the odd-one-out: the one who is "different from the rest", the one who is "unique"...whether in thoughts, words or deeds; it makes me feel awkward...I feel like...an alien...Sometimes...the intense feeling of my being an exile in a foreign land can barely be ignored...

Surfing rather absent-mindedly over the web earlier today, I stumbled upon a questionnaire called Myers-Briggs personality test. The prologue to the test captured my attention, which read:

"We all see and act with the world around us in different patterns. This quiz will help you understand your inner self: why you behave or make decisions in certain ways. Whether you're doing research on career paths that match your natural inclinations, trying to understand your relationship with a differently-brained lover, friends, co-workers or family, or just trying to make sense of the world..."

Intrigued by the paragraph, I took the test, resulting in as below:

Myers-Briggs personality test results:

Your personality type is INFP!

Introverted (I) 64% Extraverted (E) 36%

Intuitive (N) 73% Sensing (S) 27%

Feeling (F) 80% Thinking (T) 20%

Perceiving (P) 59% Judging (J) 41%

INFP

This is about the Myers-Briggs personality type.

INFP (Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Perception) is an abbreviation used in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) publications to refer to one of the sixteen personality types. The MBTI was developed from the work of prominent psychiatrist Carl G. Jung in his book Psychological Types, which proposed a psychological typology based on his theories of cognitive functions. These theories were based on clinical observation, however, rather than the controlled studies required for acceptance by the modern field of cognitive psychology.

From Jung's work others developed psychological typologies. Well-known personality tests are the MBTI assessment, developed by Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Cook Briggs, and the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, developed by David Keirsey. Keirsey referred to the INFPs as Healers, one of the four types belonging to the temperament he called the Idealists.

The MBTI instrument

The MBTI preferences indicate the differences in people based on the following:

How they focus their attention or get their energy (Extraversion or Introversion)

How they perceive or take in information (Sensing or iNtuition)
How they prefer to make decisions (Thinking or Feeling)
How they orient themselves to the external world (Judgment or Perception)

By using their preference in each of these areas, people develop what Jung and Myers called psychological type. This underlying personality pattern results from the dynamic interaction of their four preferences, in conjunction with environmental influences and their own individual tendencies. People are likely to develop behaviors, skills, and attitudes based on their particular type. Each personality type has its own potential strengths as well as areas that offer opportunities for growth.

The MBTI tool consists of multiple choice questions that sort respondents on the basis of the four "dichotomies" (pairs of psychological opposites). Sixteen different outcomes are possible, each identified by its own four-letter code, referred to by initial letters. (N is used for iNtuition, to differentiate it from Introversion). The MBTI is approximately 75% accurate according to its own manual.

I – Introversion preferred to Extraversion: INFPs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations (whereas extraverts gain energy).

N – iNtuition preferred to Sensing: INFPs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.

F – Feeling preferred to Thinking: INFPs tend to rely on a personal, internal sense of right and wrong rather than external, objective criteria. When making decisions, they often give more weight to feelings and social considerations than to logic.

P – Perception preferred to Judgment: INFPs tend to withhold judgment and delay important decisions, preferring to "keep their options open" should circumstances change.

Characteristics of INFPs

Myers-Briggs description

According to Myers-Briggs, INFPs focus much of their energy on an inner world dominated by intense feeling and deeply held ethics. They seek an external life that is in keeping with these values. Loyal to the people and causes important to them, INFPs can quickly spot opportunities to implement their ideals. They are curious to understand those around them, and so are accepting and flexible except when their values are threatened.

Keirsey description

According to Keirsey, the tranquil and reserved exterior of the INFP masks a passionate inner life. Healers care deeply about causes that interest them and they often pursue those causes with selfless devotion.

Occurring in only about one percent of the population, Healers can easily feel isolated. They value harmony and integrity in human relationships, seeking unity of mind, body, and spirit but often find these values to be out of step with the more concrete pursuits of the rest of the world. Feeling "different," they may wonder whether something is wrong with them. But those differences—an ethical nature, a devotion to ideals, a commitment to harmonious interaction—are in fact some of their greatest strengths.

Other descriptions

The polite, reserved exterior of INFPs can at first make them difficult to get to know. They enjoy conversation, however, taking particular delight in the unusual. When INFPs are in a sociable mood, their humor and charm shine through. Disposed to like people and to avoid conflict, INFPs tend to make pleasant company.

Devoted to those in their inner circle, INFPs guard the emotional well-being of others, consoling those in distress. Guided by their desire for harmony, INFPs prefer to be flexible unless their ethics are violated. Then, they become passionate advocates for their beliefs. They are often able to sway the opinions of others through tact, diplomacy, and an ability to see varying sides of an issue.

INFPs develop these insights through reflection, and they require substantial time alone to ponder and process new information. While they can be quite patient with complex material, they are generally bored by routine. Though not always organized, INFPs are meticulous about things they value. Perfectionists, they may have trouble completing a task because it cannot meet their high standards. They may even go back to a completed project after the deadline so they can improve it.

INFPs are creative types and often have a gift for language. As introverts, they may prefer to express themselves through writing. Their dominant Feeling drives their desire to communicate, while their auxiliary intuition supplies the imagination. Having a talent for symbolism, they enjoy metaphors and similes. They continually seek new ideas and adapt well to change. They prefer working in an environment that values these gifts and allows them to make a positive difference in the world, according to their personal beliefs.

Cognitive functions

Drawing upon Jungian theory, Isabel Myers proposed that for each personality type, the cognitive functions—sensing, intuition, thinking, and feeling—form a hierarchy. This hierarchy represents the person's "default" pattern of behavior.

The Dominant function is the personality type's preferred role, the one they feel most comfortable with. The secondary Auxiliary function serves to support and expand on the Dominant function. If the Dominant is an information gathering function (sensing or intuition), the Auxiliary is a decision making function (thinking or feeling), and vice versa. The Tertiary function is less developed than the Dominant and Auxiliary, but it matures over time, rounding out the person's abilities. The Inferior function is the personality type's Achilles' heel. This is the function they are least comfortable with. Like the Tertiary, the Inferior function strengthens with maturity.

Dominant Introverted Feeling (Fi): INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of emotion.

Auxiliary Extraverted Intuition (Ne): INFPs engage the outside world primarily with intuition, adept at seeing the big picture, sensing patterns and the flow of existence from the past toward the future.

Tertiary Introverted Sensing (Si): This function gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent-mindedness and makes them more easily distracted.

Inferior Extraverted Thinking (Te): This function helps INFPs focus on external details but, being the inferior function, requires the expenditure of greater energy and is not as reliable.

Later personality researchers (notably Linda V. Berens) added four additional functions to the descending hierarchy, the so-called "shadow" functions to which the individual is not naturally inclined but which can emerge when the person is under stress. For INFP these shadow functions are (in order):

Extraverted Feeling (Fe)
Introverted Intuition (Ni)
Extraverted Sensing (Se)
Introverted Thinking (Ti)

I find the resulting description to be rather accurate, and at some points, for the accuracy to be rather frightening, to an extent. However, now that I have managed to discover more about myself and why I behave in certain ways, I resolve to be diligent in improving myself within those areas where I am weak... - particularly, I have to try to reach out and beyond my own world to get to know, to understand others...to know, and to understand the world, to break forth from my comfort zone... - the only reasons being because, God loves the world...and because, I am still living in this world, amongst its people.........because, there is one out there...the one and only in this world whom I have ever loved and whom I have given my heart to, and, despite all things, who remains where my heart lies still...aye...always have been, and forever will be...

If you would like to try out the test, here is the link to it - http://www.kisa.ca/personality/ . All the best in embarking on a journey of self-discovery and beyond...

My result says that I am a healer...yet the One and Only who could really, truly heal all thoroughly is YHWH Rapha, our Greatest Healer...

Hallelujah and God bless...

Agape...

2009-03-17T14:28:00.021+08:00

~Excerpts of RBC Ministries, Our Daily Journey: 17th March, 2009~

God’s selfless love overflowed the boundary of the Trinity at creation. He did not need to create you and me, but it is just like God—who is love—to create others to love. His matchless love is reflected in the perfect relationship experienced by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—three Persons selflessly revealing the beauty of God in their individual roles—all one loving God. Jesus modeled this reality when He prayed in Gethsemane, “Father, if You are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from Me. Yet I want Your will to be done, not Mine” (Luke 22:42).

God “does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve,” but “is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him” (Psalm 103:10,13). His selfless way continues despite our sin. He is “slow to get angry,” giving us time and space to repent of our sin and turn to Him (v.8). God “loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son” (John 3:16).

Pastor A. W. Tozer wrote, “What comes to mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” But today, our problem is not so much what enters our mind when we think about God, but rather that we’re not thinking about Him enough. Like a distant rich uncle, God tends to come to mind only when we need something from Him. Perhaps we would think more about Him if we better understood who He is. Today, let’s truly think about God—Creator, Redeemer, and selfless Lover of you and me.

+ God bless... +

Love Everlasting...

2009-03-06T22:10:00.015+08:00

愛是永不止息...

愛一個人，要了解，也要開解；要道歉，也要道謝；要認錯，也要改錯；要體貼，也要體諒；是接受，而不是忍受；是寬容，而不是縱容；是支持，而不是支配；是慰問，而不是質問；是傾訴，而不是控訴；是難忘，而不是遺忘；是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；是為對方默默祈求，而不是向對方諸多要求；可以浪漫，但不要浪費；可以隨時牽手，但不要隨便分手。不要輕言放棄！否則對不起自己

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... (Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance... Love will last forever)

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

~{excerpts: 1 Corinthians 13}~

Neverending Teardrops...

2008-10-21T01:07:00.021+08:00

WHY Won't the tears Stop falling...? WHEN will they Ever dry up...?? Can ANYONE tell me How to Stop crying?? Is there ANYTHING I Can do to Stop the tears from continuing to fall??? I am SO exhausted with weeping NOW!!! Yet WHY am I Still Unable to stop...??? This is NOT NORMAL At All...!! GOD~ Please HELP ME to stop crying NOW!!! I N.E.E.D. YOUR Help, YOUR grace, YOUR mercy...!!! I N.E.E.D. YOU!!! L.O.R.D.!!!

"I have loved you with an everlasting love and am constant in my affection of you" Jeremiah 31:3.

當兔子遇上貓...

2008-09-03T23:44:00.007+08:00

~When Usa Meets Neko...~

Birthday Presents from the Lord: Blessings...pressed down and running over...

2008-08-12T20:42:00.042+08:00

A Very Belated post...

1st of August, 2008 (Friday) - another date which will remain in my memory Always...

When you expect Nothing at all, it is then that you will receive Everything...

When God gives and blesses, what you get will always be better than what you could ever imagine or hope for, and always it will be more than you could ever ask or dream of - pressed down and running over...

I was expecting to go through the day just like any other day. It was a Friday and normally we would be having share group gathering, but our gathering this week was changed to movie night for "The Dark Knight". Since I have already watched the film with friends a couple of days ago, I didn't join for the film again, but have agreed to instead meet up my share group for a late supper afterwards.

I have been overloaded with work at the company for the entire day. By the end of the day I was rather exhausted and initially was contemplating to forgo dinner for the night. Yet Ebi came over and we ended up having dinner at "David KIM & GArRY Lin's" - baked rice with cheese. (Yay! I like cheese~) When it was time to settle the bill Ebi suddenly displayed his "Shadow Hands" and paid for everything...It took a few seconds for my brain to register the whole situation, and then to withdraw my hand, which was still busy rummaging through the wallet for dollar notes...Touched...the first surprise of the day...

When I reached home, I cast myself into the regular chores at once - cleaning and tidying - as Nana would be coming over to stay with me as usual - throughout the weekend. I'd almost finished cleaning everything when a message from "MyCow" arrived telling me that the film has ended and they would be coming over to fetch me for supper. Covered with dust and perspiration, and looking Absolutely Dishevelled, I informed MyCow that I HAD to take a shower before meeting up with them and suggested that they go ahead first, and I would walk over after shower to join them later. MyCow's reply was,"No problem, take your time. We will go fetch you. We'll wait for you." So I wrapped up the rest of the cleaning as fast as I could, then proceeded to my shower.

I had just stepped out of the bathroom when I heard my phone ringing. MyCow said they have arrived and are waiting for me at the staircases. As I have washed my hair and it was then dripping and looked like wet spaghetti, I once again suggested that they go first and I would join them when I am ready. Yet he insisted to fetch me there, which was only a few minutes' walk away from where I stay. My brain was already saturated for the day, so I didn't (actually, it's Couldn't) think much about it, and simply obliged. I was halfway through getting ready when another phone call came, this time it was Nana. Thinking that everyone must be famished and certainly tired of waiting, I instantly told her to ask MyCow to lead the group and go ahead, and I would come later. Yet she INSISTED that I get down NOW! She sounded impatient and slightly offended, almost as if she was stamping her feet (or going to) as she was speaking through the phone (high D mode!), and it worried me. I quickened up my pace and rushed down as soon as I could.

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, I couldn't see MyCow's car anywhere. I waited for some few minutes, then decided to give him a call. He told me they were already at the venue for supper. So I decided to walk over to meet them. I had almost reached the end of the car park at my apartment block when I heard someone call my name aloud. Surprised, I turned around and saw my share group huddling close together behind the staircases, holding a cake with candles lit in their hands. I was stunned for half a second but managed to quickly come around. Then the next thing was...I felt...I knew...that the floodgates were going to burst open... - these people had been hiding here waiting for me for so long all this while just to give me a surprise...! I tried hard to suppress the overwhelming emotions...Fortunately, at that critical moment, Hing came over "to the rescue" and told me to make a wish then blow out the candles. I gladly obliged. Then we proceeded to the destination for our supper - AhBoy~ I walked in front of everyone else and quickened my pace, coz I was afraid that if I only just look at them, tears would begin to fall...and I know that once we reach AhBoy, there would certainly be a lot of other people there and that would force me to hold the emotions back.

Tracy and Yvonne came into view as we approached AhBoy~ Along with Hing, it was almost like my former share group was also here with me - my long time wish and plan had always been to celebrate my birthday this year with my (now former) share group: the group of people who has helped me tremendously- in every way - love them much...and yet before that could happen, we have already "multiplied"...and I was thinking that this was going to be yet another unrealised dream...yet, God really sees everything in our hearts, He knows all our desires, our hopes, our every dream...and He made this dream of mine come true...Thank You so much, Lord...my first birthday gift from the Heavenly Father for today...

Emotions was building up within me, yet I refused to let it show at AhBoy~ as there were a lot of other people around - people whom I don't know. I received a book from Tracy as a birthday gift, and she ended up buying me a drink as well coz in the rush and frenzy to get down to meet my share group after receiving Nana's "threatening" phone call, I had only managed to grab my keys but had absent-mindedly left my wallet in the room...

We had a really blessed fellowship during supper that night...And, as I casually lifted my gaze heavenwards during mid-conversation, I saw a star shining in the night sky! - my second birthday gift from the Lord for the day...! Even though there is only one star, but I am already very happy...For I have always love stars since young for as long as I can remember...(don't ask me why - I don't know...) Somehow star always reminds me of God/Jesus/Noel...and it always brings me hope and joy...When I was sad, depressed, unhappy or moody, I used to go out of the house at night and just lift my head heavenwards and gaze at the starlit sky, and gradually the heaviness would lift from my heart, all the negative emotions would fade away, replaced by peace and tranquility...To me, watching the midnight stars is like having a silent conversation with the Lord, and always He would comfort me and give me peace in times like these...sometimes I would receive revelation from the Lord through star-gazing...Yet ever since I came over to the Peninsular, seldom could I see stars anymore - probably due to the hazy sky...I remember back at where I hail from, we can see stars in the sky almost every night, and I used to drift into slumber each night watching the beautiful starlit sky from my bedroom window as I lay on my bed...this is probably what I miss most from my homeland - the beauty of shining stars in the midnight sky, just like sparkling diamonds embroidered on a dark velvet cloth...Tonight's message from God: Always presevere, never give up hope, for the Lord knows your heart...His eyes are everywhere, and He never sleeps...He sees and hears and knows all things...The Lord blesses and watches over those He loves...

Finally, thank you so much, all of you (and you too, Ebi)...What I can say is, whoever involved in planning this surprise really know me very, very well, coz it was a great success and I was really "surprised by the surprise"...hahaha...

Birthday cake - white Tiramisu with fresh strawberries: it's beautiful! I love it~ it looks very much like a cake which I've seen in a Japanese anime comic I like...kekeke... (I have always love the look of strawberries on cake - again, don't know why, I just love the look of them like that, it's pretty - and white has always been my favourite colour...nice nice~) Tastes nice, too~

"My CAKE and I"...heheheh...with Gracy at the back, at AhBoy~

Even though I had managed to hold back the tears for the entire night, very early the following morning - sometime around dawn - I woke up in bed suddenly. It was still pitch dark, and, as I lay in bed, memories of the happenings of the previous night began to flow back to my mind...it was so overwhelming and I could no longer hold back, the floodgates burst open at last and tears streamed down my cheeks...Really, really touched...once again, reminded of the grace of God...

When I've finally stopped crying, I suddenly remembered that due to all the "unexpectation" and excitement, I was so occupied by being stunned and surprised that I had forgotten to thank everyone the night before!!! I had to quickly send out belated messages to them when daybreak came...what a scatter-brain I am...Aikz!!

When Darkness Falls, the Knight Rises...

2008-07-31T20:55:00.016+08:00

He is

a Silent Guardian

a Protector of Justice

He is

THE DARK KNIGHT

"The night is darkest just before the dawn..."

"I promise you - the dawn is coming..."

"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain..."

"People are dying..."

"What would you have me do...?"

"Endure."

"You could be...the outcast."

"You could make a choice that no one else will face - the Right Choice."

"Gotham needs you..."

"I can take it...because I am not a hero..."

Beyond Expectation...Beyond Words......

The End of THE LONG WAIT...

2008-07-31T18:32:00.012+08:00

Finally..."IT" is HERE...

I have been praying...and Praying...and pRaying...and prAying...and praYing...and...PRAYing......over "IT"...

I have been waiting for "IT"...yet dreaded the actual moment when I would be receiving "IT"...

Before this, I had toiled and laboured long and hard over "IT" - spent sleepless nights and endless days just to give "IT" my very best (even though I am terrible at "IT" - so, my "best", actually, is still not That good)...

THE LETTER that contained THE ANSWER is Finally HERE - the long awaited answer...to one of my prayers, to my parents' One Prayer, to my family's prayers...

THE ANSWER

“下流二等”榮譽

(Lower Second Class Honours)

Hmm...“下流” + “二等”...can still = 榮譽...???

All this while, I have been dreading and worrying that I may be getting a Third Class (“三流的”...?)...and I had been praying to God: Lord! ANYTHING But Third Class...!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeasssse~~!! Ne Ebi kun just teased me the other day saying that fortunately there is no Ninth Class...(“第九流”...) and yet, “下流二等” doesn't sound any better than “三流的” or “第九流”...aikz......

But, anyway, I REALLY, REALLY GIVE THANKS TO GOD!!! That I Finally GOT it ...(aye...even though it is “下流” + “二等”...) Thanks be to GOD!!! That all the time and effort I spent still produced a "crop" for "harvest"...that everything I have done didn't just go to waste and flow into the great ocean...Thank You so much, Lord...and THANK YOU for hearing and answering our prayers, however impossible they had seemed...(with my results the best I could hope for would be simply a Pass, ie a Third Class...and yet, He gave me something more than what I deserved - He gave me what I had been praying for all this while - something higher and better than Third Class, ie a Lower Second Class...) It is really better than what I had dared to hope for...(aye, even though I have been "grumbling" and "complaining" about the class awarded, I am REALLY, REALLY Thankful for it - just don't understand why they have to grade it in accordance to classes...a simple "Honours" Without the extra frills would have been Perfect - hmm...I suppose I would never understand this...)

Having known my result, Wind had been teasing me over it for days with cheeky remarks such as: Whoa...The first degree holder in four generations in our family wo...Be careful not to get your nose up so high that you walk into poles when you are walking along the street aaa...or fall into a man hole...or step onto a pile of dog-poo...or trip over your own feet and fall headlong - which you are "expert" in...or......or......or......etc...etc...etc...... (Hahaha...)

As for Dad, he was so thrilled when I revealed the news to him that he called up his mum (ie my grandmother) instantly to tell her all about it, and he couldn't sleep and couldn't stop smiling for days on end, and finally Mum got so tired of seeing him flashing his teeth all the time (it's been a few days now and according to Mum and Wind, he still couldn't manage to shut his mouth properly...) that she Simply Had To "complain" about Dad to me...

Haha...well, that's my wacky family...Anyway, from these various responses and reactions I am able to gather that they are well-pleased and happy...(even with a “下流二等”榮譽...aikz...)

Lord, I give You thanks and I give You praise...All glory, and honour, and power, and might, belong to You forever and ever and from everlasting to everlasting...Thank You for hearing us, and for answering our prayers...Thank You so much...for Everything...

Hallelujah...God bless...

A Twist of Fate...?

2008-07-17T21:53:00.008+08:00

Yes.

Believe it.

Never judge a book by its cover.

Never judge a person by his looks.

One of the best films ever~!!!

Everything is well done - fantastic story, awesome effects, terrific climax...

Love it~!!!

"I have placed before you life and death...Now choose life..." (Scripture verse)

Our destinies were not written the moment we were born...but rather they are determined by the choices we make as we journey through life...

Never stop doing good even when the whole world turn their backs on you...

Sometimes we have to sacrifice in order to make the right choice/the best choice...

Landa Yesu...

Follow Jesus...

Hallelujah...

Farewell...

2008-07-12T01:42:00.013+08:00

Friday, 13th July 2008 - a Very Significant date...a date which I will remember always...

Our LAST share group gathering...after this...No More...
We will "multiply"...

It felt like our first gathering - we began with Icebreaker, then praise and worship, then sharing - We haven't been doing this for a very long time...

The "trademark" of our share group gathering - a game known as "Come-Mean-Toy" (I don't know what language it is, nor what the name means...), played using poker cards. At the end of the game, you will be able to realise at least two things: who is the swiftest and most alert in the group, and also who is the sleepiest...hahaha...

In the end, I lost the game...and was sentenced to singing the national anthem standing outside at the balcony as punishment. But...everything didn't go quite the way they were supposed to go...coz...I ended up in tears and shocked everybody...Some thought perhaps the punishment was too harsh to me and I had a fright when I learnt that I was to sing aloud at the balcony; some thought I was stressed out with some kind of problems... - sorry, all incorrect...Hahaha...Hmm...seems like my share group doesn't know me very well yet...and it was our last gathering!! I don't simply cry in front of people over such petty affairs...

My sentimental side...I seldom allow it to surface...(I don't like it, coz somehow it makes me feel that I am weak and feeble...)

It was our LAST gathering!!!

I tried hard to just "be normal" and "just treat it as any other share group gatherings" we have had before...but...well...

Actually, I knew long before that this day of parting would come...I was prepared for it (or so I thought). I never expect myself to react like this, though - Never!! To be honest, I was shocked by my own reaction even!!

I tried really hard to suppress the emotions that were building up within me throughout...When I learnt that we were going to begin with Icebreaker, my mind instantly flashed back to our first gathering, and how far we've come together...through storms and blizzards and worse...and it struck me that: This is the LAST time we do Icebreaker Together! This is the LAST time we play "Come-Mean-Toy" with each other like This...!

As we proceeded with the game whilst joking and talking crap and telling lame jokes and pulling each other's leg as usual, I realised: This is the LAST time we tease each other Together...like This...! And when I had lost: This is the LAST time that I lost a game I play with THEM...the LAST game with THEM...!!! Then, as everyone clamoured for me to "proceed" with the punishement, my heart told me: This is the LAST time they tease me Together like THIS...(I am going to miss all these so much...! Yes, I will even miss being teased by THEM...) and, This is the LAST time that they are so "united" - one heart, one voice - in doing one thing, ie urging me to be "executed" with the punishment...hahaha...well, that was the last straw...

My stronghold just crumbled after that...everything I had been withholding within tumbled forth... - the floodgates burst open...and...I couldn't shut it again...I tried to force the tears back - innumerous times, yet each time I was overwhelmed...

It was the first time I experienced a really, really "teary" praise and worship... - our LAST praise and worship Together...!! - thinking of that induced more tears to come to my eyes and they started falling even faster than ever before!!

I tried to recompose myself during sharing time...yet...when it was my turn to share and I opened my mouth...no words came out... - I felt a great lump in my throat...then, tears took over...once again...I had to stop a few times during my sharing because I couldn't go on, then continued when I managed to regain my composure a little...This is the LAST time that we share our hearts out sitting in a circle Together like This... - and, well, that thought, of course, brought forth yet more tears...

I felt like a broken water tap that day... - no matter how hard you try to turn off a broken tap, there will still be a leak - drops of water will still be dribbling...if you try to screw it tighter, the tap will slip, and the water, which had initially been trickling down in droplets only, will then gush out like falls...

We have gone through so much together...THEY are my family here... - They threw their door wide open and received me in when I was met with closed doors everywhere else...They walked with me, supported me, encouraged me, helped me, stuck with me...during the darkest times of my life...They showed me what true love and real family means...They held me fast when I was gradually slipping away from the arms of God...They were there for me and with me when I could no longer see God...when I could no longer feel God's presence...They suffered and went through it all with me...They suffered...coz they were in this battle with me...! Even when I told them to just let me go - seeing them being pressed down by the troubles that came with the commitment - as I really can't bear to see people suffering because of me, they refused!!! They just shut me up with this verse: "When a shepherd who has one hundred sheep lost one sheep from his flock, he leaves the ninety-nine sheep and goes in search of that one sheep...UNTIL he finds it and brings it back to the flock again." They SIMPLY REFUSED to Give Up on me...EVEN when it meant they Had to walk with me down the Same, dark, perilous path...fight with me...suffer much with me...They chose to fight with me in my battle... - mine...not theirs! Yet they were willing to fight it...with me...for me...I know a lot of people would have just let me go...just like that...and I don't blame them...coz it's a really difficult journey...we didn't even know what we would meet then...or what we would be up against...but THEY chose to follow the road less taken...they chose to be with me when it would be so much easier for them to just abandon me instead...and...because they Wouldn't Give Up on me, I Couldn't Give Up, either...! How COULD I give up on my own life When there are people around me who WANT So Much for me to stay alive and continue to live? It was their determination to hold me fast NO MATTER WHAT that in turn spurred me to hold on to God, no matter what...(even when I was in great and constant doubt then...) Honestly, I was really, really, really, really touched by them...

And, they came to my rescue everytime they received my S.O.S. ...hmm...they know me well in this One thing: I Simply WON'T ask for help Unless or Until I am in a Really "critical" condition...

I knew that God placed us together for a purpose. I also know that no matter how far apart we may be from each other, we will always remain right here in each other's heart...always...

During our LAST gathering, at one point PangPang became concerned coz I couldn't stop crying that he tried to cheer me up: "Remember that burger last week? If you stop crying I'll treat you to one for dinner later..." Well, I did manage to stop in the end...Thanks be to God! Else I'd be pouring at mamak and then I'd frighten more people...! And...as good as his promise, PaPa Pang REALLY Did treat me to a burger for dinner...! Wakakaka...So touched...blessed...(initially I had thought he meant it as a joke, really) but then...it reminded me that this would be our "LAST supper" together...and that brought fresh tears to my eyes all over again...

Thanks be to God:
(I) I thank God that I didn't flood Tracy's house with my tears...Haha...
(II) I thank God that I managed to (or rather, He helped me to) stop crying while I was still in Tracy's car on the way to dinner after our gathering - I managed to stop before we reached our destination...Thank God I didn't flood her car, too...
(III) I thank God for this beloved family of mine...
(IV) I thank God for everything He has given us - for good things and bad, for joy and for sorrows, for laughter and for tears...I thank You, Lord, for all the blessings You have showered upon us, for shining Your light in our lives, for being with us through it all...and...for calling us Your Children...Thank You, Lord...thank You so much...

God bless...Hallelujah...

An Urban Love Story...

2008-07-12T01:40:00.012+08:00

It takes a real man to be a maid of honour...

"If you get married, I expect to be your best man. Tom, will you be my maid of honour?"

"...?!! Your maid of honour??!" (Slam!!! Ping pong piang~!!!!)

"Owwww~~!!!..."

"And this must be the lucky young man who is marrying our beautiful Hannah..."

"Oh, no! I am not marrying him. This is Tom, my maid of honour."

"...??!!! Oh! Well how about that...?! We have many gays and lesbians of the congregation...Welcome."

"...!!!!!"

"This is my maid of honour."

"...!!!!!!" "He's a gay." "Yeah, definitely a gay."

"..."

"What do you think of them?"
"I think they think I am a gay..."

"You are the one person who understands me the most...You are my best friend in the world...I just want to be with you..."

"I have prided myself on always telling the truth with everybody...But, I have been lying to one person all this while... - myself. Because, the truth is...scary...... - I love you..."

"I love you..." - one of the most difficult things to say...

"Love" - One word that frees us of all the weight and pain in life...

Even when sometimes your loved one has let you down, never forget that there is One who ALWAYS Loves you with an Unconditional Love...

Always remember how much Jesus loves you...always remember how much you mean to Him...

Choice...

2008-07-10T01:46:00.013+08:00

There are heroes, there are superheroes, and then there's Hancock...

"TRY calling me 'S-Ho'...ONE more time..."

"Your head, is going up his 'S'..."

"His head, is going up your 'S'..."

"Good job."

All that a person ever wanted (no matter how great or powerful that person is) is simply to feel that he belongs, to be loved, and to be accepted by others...

Souvenirs...

2008-07-07T14:37:00.013+08:00

Arose early in order to hitch a lift from S.O.S. to church as usual on Sunday morning (it is ALWAYS hard for me to rise early on weekends, even though that is supposed to be my regular schedule now and I am supposed to have accustomed to it...). Tumbled straight into my routine task as soon as I stepped foot into the cafe - making sandwiches. Was halfway through my work when the saw-like knife accidentally slipped and its razor blade sliced into my finger - felt a sharp, searing pain instantly! Glanced at the "inflicted" finger but couldn't see anything. Was just about to continue with sandwich-making when the pain compelled me to take another look...and...Whoa! I saw myself sporting a finger adorned in the signature colour of Liverpool Football Club! Blood was gushing out from the fresh wound - resembling a mini waterfall...

Instantaneously, I tried to reach for a paper-handkerchief from the tissue box at the counter-top with my other hand...struggled for quite a while before someone helped got it for me...Covered my "Liverpool fan" finger and applied pressure on it. Meanwhile, asked around for the church medical kit (as there is no more bandage in the cafe drawer) and rummaged through it...struggled for a long while once more until some church member lent out a helping hand and helped found me a bandage...Managed to unwrap the bandage with one hand...then thought: bleeding SHOULD have ceased by now...? Lifted the paper-handkerchief to take a peek - Hmm...still flowing like waterfall! The paper-handkerchief was already soaked with my generous outflow of haemoglobin - bright red patch against a white background - attractive colour combination~! No choice, covered the wound again and re-applied pressure upon it...Waited for a really long while this time before checking on it again - bleeding was receding, though a tiny stream of blood was still dribbling - wrapped bandage firmly over finger. Finally, was able to turn my attention back to the "abandoned" sandwiches...

Served at cafe for close to 6 or 7 hours with practically no rest - I only managed to "steal away" for a break when I had my lunch - the one time that I ever get to Really SIT down...! Thank God for chairs~! Was "operating" purely on "back-up battery power" in the afternoon...yet, when the time came for Captain Ball, I was "miraculously, instantaneously and automatically recharged"!

We were divided into 3 teams for the game and each team consisted of 10 members whereby 6 would be out in the court playing for the team during any one match (3 boys, 3 girls), with the remaining members on "stand by" as substitutes. Was assigned to be in one team with Rick, Johnson, Min Jun, Alvin, Yun Juok, Vei Ling, Meei Yi, Tracy, Vui Theng and Yi Wen - with Johnson being our team leader. Our team name is “一點通”, which, verbally translated, would be "MagicFinger" or "MagicTouch". We even created our very own special gesture for the team! Tried to play "with courtesy" during the first-half of the game - since Viktor da Lee said it was to be a "friendly match" - but, turned out that...some girls seemed wilder than boys in the game!! No choice...really had to "show them some colours" for the rest of the game...Alvin is the best keeper~!! His signature technique is the ability to catch a goal with only one foot remaining on the chair and his arms and body completely swayed to one side, and that is not all - he is able to hold that position for a minimum of 3 seconds!! Perfect balance!!! Kudos~Alvin!

We had a fantastic game. When it has ended, however, some of us haven't had enough yet, and formed teams of our own to continue playing the game...Haha...

At the end of the day, Captain Ball has "added colours" on to me, and I looked more "colourful" after the game than ever before - bruised black and blue - marks of accidents during the game...Didn't really realise that I was bruised until Kitt poked me gently in my shoulder with one finger in church afterwards (as she wanted to speak to me) - that poke really had the effect of “一點‘痛’” ("PainfulTouch") - and I jumped right out of the chair I was sitting on due to the sudden, excruciating pain! My spontaneous reaction shocked her so much that she jumped, too. Hahaha - we were like two kangaroos that had escaped from the zoo...

What I have gained (6th July, 2008):

(I) From the cafe incident

I realised that I could hardly do the simplest things on my own with only one hand - from trying to take a paper-handkerchief out of a tissue box to searching for a bandage in a medical kit - when I only have one hand to spare, I need other people to help me even with these very simple tasks...

God is using this incident to remind me that I can't do everything on my own. I am not saying that God had it in mind to make me get injured with the knife so that He can make me realise all these, but that out of every circumstance (no matter how bad or terrible it is), He will make sure something good comes out of it - things that will benefit us.
He reminded me that it is not good for me to always do things alone by myself, that I also need other people's help from time to time (maybe I have been too obstinate recently and always forced myself to go beyond my own limits and would only ever ask for help from others when I am really K.O. ...?)
He reminded me as to the reason why He placed us to live in a community and not lead a solitary life. I have been too headstrong and have overestimated my own ability all these while that, often I refused to ask others for help until I am in a really critical stage. If I continue to be like this, perhaps one day I might even be too proud to seek help until it is too late...God foresees everything and He revealed this to me, in His perfect timing...Thank You, Lord!

I just realised that I am the culprit who has used up all the bandages in the cafe - cafe had to sponsor one bandage to me almost every week - because somehow I always manage to add a nick or a cut to myself while helping out there...

Felt a slight unwillingness to dispose of the paper-handkerchief after I have bandaged my finger - seeing that I have "donated" so much of my blood to it - it's kind of wasteful to throw it into the dustbin...Farewell, "My Precioussss~~" bloody paper-handkerchief...kakaka...
One other thing I realised is that my blood actually has a very nice colour! I like the colour of my blood - it's scarlet - a really really pretty shade of red~~

(II) From the game of Captain Ball

(i) I came to realise that sometimes you just can't be too nice to everybody. In order to survive, you have to be flexible and try to act and move in accordance to your surrounding environment. Life in this world...sometimes you really have no options left but to treat others the way they treat you...Do not let others step down on you or take advantage of you. Christians should live a life that glorifies God but that doesn't mean we should become doormats. Stay intelligent and be flexible!

(ii) The arms that caught me when I fall...I was reminded of the Lord's loving arms when Crystal from the opposing team (playing as defender) caught me as I fell off from the chair trying to catch a goal while playing as keeper - after a couple of falls I think the others were worried I would get injured and advised that I switched position with another player from our team...

God reminded me re two things via this incident: first of all, Love your enemy (not that I see the opposing team as our enemy, just that this verse from the Scriptures suddenly struck my mind via this incident)- Even though we were from opposing teams, Crystal turned to me and said,"Don't worry, I'll catch you when you fall." I could see the light of sincerity illuminating her eyes as she said that...honestly, I felt so touched then... - touched by an angel...hahaha...secondly, God will always be there to catch us as and when we fall...ALWAYS! Because if men can do this for each other, how much more would God do this for us!! Thank You so much, Lord...

(iii) I finally have the opportunity to experience the saying "I jump, she jumps" - with Kitt...! Hahaha...we really did make each other jump, though it was rather unexpected...

I just realised how much I missed sports...and I have actually forgotten how sports can revive me...! I have always loved sports, and even though I may be tired, I will still welcome a game of sports - instead of making me more tired, sports has the amazing power of refreshing me...! Captain Ball has "awakened" my passion for sports again...

The "souvenirs" of the day:
(a) A rather deep wound on my finger measuring about 1/4 inch in length - the cafe knife "insisted" on leaving a mark on me every week...(this is the worst injury I had from the cafe so far...)
(b) Large and "beautiful" bruises on arm and leg - parting gifts from Captain Ball...Hey, not bad, now I have "proof" that I really did participated in the game~ Haha...

Whenever I begin to lose focus on God, He always draws me back to Him through the various trials and persecutions that I face...He constantly reminds me that I should always seek Him, commit to Him and depend on Him in all things no matter what...and that His promise stands forever...
"When I am weak, then I am strong, for You live within me..."

Thank You, Lord, for all the blessings that You have showered upon us...Hallelujah...

+God bless you all...+

Choose your destiny...

2008-07-03T00:00:00.017+08:00

"I am sorry..."

"I-AAAMM-SOOOORRRYYY~~"

"You apologize too much."

"Why are you here?"

"I don't know who I am..."

"Whatever they've told you are all lies..."

"You are MY SON..."

"He wasn't trying to kill you...He was trying to protect you."

"He wanted a different life for you...He wanted you to have what he never had..."

Another spectacular film on screen.

It is difficult to come by movies like this nowadays.

A film that is absolutely wonderful - the storyline, the momentum throughout, the angles that the screenshots were captured...

Notable values which I have gathered via this film:

(I) Never take things or people for granted on first impression. Often they may not be what they seem...

(II) Never believe everything you hear. Make an effort to find out the truth yourself, or it may be too late by the time you regret over it...

(III) Often, we have not yet discovered our underlying/hidden gifts/abilities - sometimes our weakness may in fact turn out to be our strength.

A great film...

A film which I love tremendously...

不是一個人但孤獨孤獨但不是一個人

2008-07-01T19:01:00.009+08:00

小時候
很羨慕有哥哥姐姐的朋友
常常夢想著希望自己也有哥哥或姊姊
在遇到困難時第一時間能有人幫忙
功課上不懂的地方有人可以請教
被欺負時可以找人出頭

但是夢想終歸夢想
從小凡事都得靠自己
一切問題祇能自己想辦法去解決
日子一天天的過去
漸漸的也習慣了凡事親力親為

或許是在這樣的環境下成長的緣故
形成了帶點孤僻的個性

中學生涯期間
大伙兒上哪都要成群結隊的
唯獨我例外
當時幾乎被全校師生喻為“獨行俠”
祇因為來來去去都是單獨一個人 --- 習慣了

中學成績冊上師長評語欄閱：
“品學兼優但沉默寡言
應多與他人溝通
擴大生活圈子使生命更添色彩”
--- 六年亦然

向來都不怎麼愛會理外人的眼光
因而對當時的綽號與評論也不以為意

那個時候最愛就是往圖書館跑
獨自在“祇供參考不得外借”的部門
找個僻靜的角落坐下
或者與書為伍或者魂游四海
就這樣可以輕鬆消磨大半天

由於朋友不多
書籍與音樂成了我的摯友
不曉得為甚麼
熱衷於體育與戶外活動
並且酷愛藝術與大自然

很愛幻想愛作白日夢
很喜歡敞開自己的想像力
任由它飛揚到不不知名的國界去探險

雖然在眾人的眼中是個乖乖女
暗地里卻有著叛逆的個性

愛用音樂筆墨與色彩來表達自己
在言語上卻有著嚴重的癡障
擅於透過肢體語言書寫以及繪畫來表露內心的世界
但祇要一張口發言非結巴即唇齒思維起衝突

在學校上美術課與語文課
從不甘受限於師長指定的題目
畫幅與作文往往會跳出呆板的傳統框框
而飛越到屬於自己的天空中自由翱翔
然而作品卻每每因為如此而受到眾人的青睞與好評

個性有點古怪不喜歡跟風
對於大部分事物
有著屬於自己的一套見解
但是除非別人問及
否則鮮少會主動提及自己的觀點

不喜歡隨波逐流
對一切充滿好奇心
喜愛與眾不同
愛冒險
往往選擇走與別人不一樣的路
對舞蹈情有獨鍾
在創作上偏愛獨樹一格

這樣的個性
一直被外人公認為固執孤僻怪異
甚至是不可理喻
--- 從以前到現在亦然

獨自一人的時候會思索：
堅持己見被稱為是固執
附和他人卻被認為是沒有主見
與眾不同是怪異
平凡無奇則是呆板沒創意
沉默寡言變得生人勿近不可理喻
嘰喳多話卻變成沒大腦眾人敬而遠之

不明白
希望有一天
能夠理解這一切

不住思索執意相信有朝一日
總能掙脫被誤解的枷鎖

一路走來尋尋覓覓跌跌撞撞
我在尋找平衡點