"The Happy News Lady"

GodParents

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:51:29 PST

My own personal life experience with Godparents has been less than what I was raised to beleive their role in life is. In other words, sucks Canal Water! The definition of a God Parent is a person that makes the decision to accept responsibility for a child's rearing in the case of the parents death....plus that child is to be special in the God Parents life. Better than Sponsoring a ball team. Today I say God Parents suck. My parents chose two people (which is the norm) to be my God parents. They felt, let's say, above others in my life, although only on paper....but I reaped nothing from it.... no phone calls, no I love yous......nadda! So I followed suit of family tradition and chose God Parents for my first three children of which NONE have done squat. Not even Birthday cards, Come on! Acknowledgement hello! God Parents! Read that carefully. Look it up, Godparent rules for dummies. Maybe its on EHow somewhere... I would give much for someone to have given me the privilege of being a Godparent to any child.....yet my experience with said gift has been null. That means NEGATIVE, & some call it DARK. My God Parents, nevermind. My first child's God Parents, well one is dead and I cant even remember who the other one is. My second child's God Parents were just plain a total family dysfunction...don't ask. So I tried it one more time.....third Child's God Parents really sucked...They didn't even know what it meant~!~ and they lived in the Bible belt.. I call that a case of the "dumb ass!" I can call it what ever I chose yet the result for my child would have been sad and disturbing should I have croaked before he grew up. So I do what I can to make up for the losers I chose. Let me make a list, nevermind, not healthy... I am trying to find humor in something really quite serious and not funny. How do I find myself with people I have no-thing in common with....they know no God. So the next two children have no God Parents thank God! Because none is better than one that does naught. Some call them "Sponsors." Think on that one....

A Clear Moment

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:30:25 PST

This is an old 35 mm slide from my Grandfathers collection....1950's I think it needs photoshop color repair, but it reminded me of today and not 60 years ago. (I was barely alive if there is such a thing)

It is 7:00 a.m. and time to take Gracie Allen outside which can be annoying some days as all who own dogs understand. But today was diff. No one in sight when at least one thousand live within this block of space on earth. I could call it "My Space," because it is and it especially was this morning. I lost track of the date, the time, and where I was. Why? I don't know exactly except it was euphoric like I hear a drug would be. Like Morphine before surgery.... Who was giving me this moment in time and why? The smell of the air held a meaning of such goodness and memory that I kept breathing it in as deeply as I could. I was asking the Universe what this meant or where it came from. I looked up into the specially blue sky only to see the moon in all its cratered glory looking at only me, telling me how much more there is that I cannot see with my human eye. Well I was willing to see it with my spiritual eye but that didn't happen...or maybe it did, only every other of my four senses plus was working overtime. Maybe I should have tried harder to just enjoy it instead of trying to remember it. Emotions came to visit also. I thought maybe it was a memory of another time when things were wonderful. Children bustling about, pancakes on the griddle, a soul mate offering and sharing.... It wasn't the same smell and feeling that I get from my Grandma's farm early in the morning from back in the 50's... No, this was clean, crisp but not cold, sunny but not hot, this was perfection. There was no place for worry, pain, fear, or any of the grey and certainly no place for any black on my block. I actually lost Grace for over a minute in time. Something I never do as she had no harness on this fine morning. I don't think Grace noticed the fairy like magic that had come over me but she did sit by my feet waiting for me to come back to the grey senses of this world which I really didn't do until I opened that front door. I didn't want to leave it. "It" being the total feeling of security where there is none. "It" being the total feeling of love where there isn't much of. "It" being the total feeling that no matter what everything is alright so just go with it......" Even if "It" was only the smell of a wonderful memory, but I know better! I received a gift from the moon? From the Universe? From God this morning during Gracie's podie time. How ironic. I am a very lucky person.

www.capetown.travel/.../Autumn_colours.jpg

Tortured Screaming Nail Clipping Day

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:22:54 PST

Actually the bottom picture of my little buddy Grace is on our ride towards the tortured screaming nail clipping adventure, of which I purposely did not videotape. People think she is dying! Her dog trainer, above photo, Jamie Mueller, slash nail trimmer owns a CURVES studio and when we arrive Grace tries so diligently to communicate with me (by licking my neck and trying to hide there also) that this is a bad thing for her. And it is! Her anxiety level is TEN. I felt so badly for her but it had to be done. I said, "Hey, I don't want her to have a heart attack!" I was assured that wouldn't happen but I wasn't so sure. We went yesterday and today and will go next week trying to de-sensitize her to this nail clipping deal. She screams like she is being tortured. The ladies at curves go bonkers. I am expecting someone to call animal 911 at any time during the procedure. Grace is the best in most all areas, but not this one. Someone must have hurt her (she is a rescue dog) because there is one paw that makes her go CRAZY NUTS... the other paws she is fine with. Well we made it......then drove on home and she was fine. This makes taking children for their shots look like an easy road compared to!! Seriously. But ALSWELL that ends well.... We are home and doing well.

Tuesday's Anal Lady.......

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:12:20 PST

Photo is of me from low pixel web cam "FREAKING OUT!"

I will not answer my phone on Tuesday nights ever again. At least as long as Anal Lady is a client. We are on our fourth or fifth Tuesday of working with her or is that against her? Personally I try to work with everyone, but I am thinking she is thinking the latter. And this is all about her thinking for sure. Anal Lady has a "perfectly perfect" clean home. The silver inserts on her stove do not have one mark on them from cooking for a family of four.... There isn't a spec of dust anywhere (well I did find some on top of the door frames) and cant wait to tell her at my perfectly perfect chosen time that is. So here's the deal. Maria and I where hired to clean her clean home. Do you know that its easier to clean and dirty home than a perfectly perfect one? So I wipe things down and dust the dusted and so on. Maria re-does the bathrooms and vacuums her way backwards out the door because Anal Lady wants to see the vacuum lines on the carpet. And so we then leave the perfectly perfect home. And every Tuesday night my phone rings and its "her!" Wish I could put drama music on here at this point. First week it was, "Did you forget to wash the floor inside the closet downstairs?" Second week it was, "Please dust the shelves inside the linen closet." (there is a two inch space in front of towels and sheets duh). The next week it was, "I know I am anal, but do you dust the SIDES OF THE DRESSERS!!!" The next week it was, "Did you dust the nic nacs on our dresser?" OK so now I am finally getting it....duh....it's Tuesday night and the call comes in with silly requests. So I said, "Yes we dust your niknaks paddy wak!" OK so I left off the paddy wak. Then she started to ask if we did something else ridiculous and I interrupted her, after praying silently for God to give me patience PLEASE and FAST! (I forgot to ask for understanding and kindness, oops.) I think he did as I blurted out, "You know Anal Lady, you were right, your kitchen floor was F I L T H Y!" eeeeeeekkkkkks. That is like telling an anorexic person they are fat or they gained weight. I knew it and I did it anyway. Mean? Nope, just don't want the Tuesday night terrorist calls anymore. And I am saving the filthy door frame line for next Tuesday's call. You see, telling her that anything in her house was or is filthy could send her to the padded room place. Did I feel bad. Sort of.....but not enough to worry about it. I have my own anxiety issues and thank God they don't go over the top, well most of them don't, like hers. I feel sorry for the dog who probably gets his rear cleaned off after doing his duty, not to mention the children whose toys are not played with but rather displayed in perfectly perfect baskets. Example, Doll house and in each room of the doll house is a basket for that rooms interior furniture and such. Being Anal Lady must be awful....living with her has to be worse, and being her child or dog....GOD FORBID! But then, bless her heart for sure for having such a problem. And bless mine for being a part of it!

"Iris"

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:00:20 PST

I do not know the name of the lady holding the cardboard under her arm that reads "Need Help..." I can't recall if it said anything else....I just knew that I knew I had to look for some money for her. The dog was laying quietly next to her and believe me, I was freezing cold out there. Just then my phone rang and behold it was my bank asking if I did the past three transactions to so and so and such and such a place!! I am not sure it really is my bank, all the while digging for money and the lady watching me... I was looking for a twenty and only found a five $$ and a couple one $$'s... Then suddenly there it was....the twenty $$! I hung up with the bank, (have you ever tried to hold a cell phone with your shoulder..it isn't a good thing) grabbed the twenty $$, handed her the twenty, the five and the two ones all crumpled up. She got sooo excited and said, "Oh, Oh, that's enough for the car part we need." She was willing to sit there until she got whatever she needed. I asked her what her story was. She told me she was from Kentucky. Her Dad is ill with Cancer so they drove up here to help and be with him....he has been out of work due to illness so he is unable to help them. She said the car broke down once and now again so they needed a part for it. I wished her and her family the best and walked away. Suddenly I pulled out my camera, walked back and asked her if she would mind me photographing her. (of which I messed all three up somehow, they are blurry) I assured her it was for merely personal reasons such as my blog. She smiled and responded with a kind, "Yes of course." The dog kept moving around so another passerby helped me by talking to the dog... I do not know the ladies name, but her clothes were not in very good shape. The dog looked healthy...... I silently wondered if it was a setup, ragged clothes and all......

I was in my car and noticed the lady, Iris, and a man (who I hadn't seen before) walking across the parking lot to the AUTO PARTS STORE! S H U T U P!! I was soooo happy. They really did need a part for their car. Now whether there is a Father with Cancer or whether the ragged clothes were a set up.... I don't care. They were in their mid to late twenties and needed a car part. Is all.

Pushin Popcorn

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 07:51:54 PST

I need a new web cam with at least one pixel doi

Friday, October 30, 2009
Of course this isn't me...ya think I am going to post a picture of myself with my cheeks full of popcorn. Ok, yes it is! I cannot eat popcorn in public...no way hose'! I stuff, cram, push , shove, and fill my mouth with handfuls of white puffed corn. And do take into consideration I am allergic to milk so the only kind I can have is PLAIN JANE!! Kettle corn. eeeeww. Yet now they have something called something with sugar... so I devour that once a year. I think its an old smoking issue myself. But corn doesn't go into the mouth as easy as smoke duh wad!! Even though I try to find a way to make that happen.... So I don't give into it too often.....and God forbid when I do no one can be present. I have a mirror on my desk where I put a bit of makeup on each morning before work....it also presents itself when I "cram" popcorn on occasion...omg don't look, not even I wish to watch that show... I could YouTube it but it would embarrass my children so no no no....not going there. Even my dog looks at me and runs off to hide... The phone doesn't even ring while I am stuffing... I avoid most all corn products. Maybe I shouldn't.....maybe that is why I am cramming the stuff...maybe its a secret craving for the betterment of my body... Don't think so Jackson... I "got " enough salt induced cellulite for everyone on my block. At least after corn intake. (of which I sprinkle garlic salt onto) Am I nuts? No, just on occasion need a heck of a uplift and use popcorn to get my fix! Hey, I'm a baby boomer...you figure it out. I can't beleive I ate the whole bag.....what a bag? I love my puns.

Who Talks to Themselves 24/7.....Mothers!

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 09:08:46 PDT

I am sooo afraid this will happen to me. Along with a few other of my Mother's little and or big habits. Maria, my client helper, came into the H1N1 Virus and has been off work a few days so I called Mother to help me out. Watch my back ! Actually Mother can work a few circles around me for some reason I haven't figured out. Personally I believe it to be the fact that she "got to" take the horse mare urine (estrogen) for many many years and I cant. Ya think she did that on purpose? She looks my age instead of the 79 or 80 that she will be on Monday. She developed the big breast C word from taking said horse mare urine for too long and too high of a dose. That being said, I get none! So I am the wrinkled mess someone could make a purse out of and she runs across the yard while I borrow her cane. S H U T U P! Back to my point of story. We greet four clients in two days.... I show Mother around and then tell her the duties at hand....she goes about her work like a little elf EXCEPT.....she talks to herself 24/7 and I left my headphones in the car! She talked to the toilets, the towels, the tubs, the floors, the mirrors, herself about herself, the walls, the vacuum, the rags, the sponges, the cleaners, the people that lived there that couldn't hear her, (telling them why did they do this or that and how it should have been done!) And one that was home... thank God that client giggled with me in regards to the distant chattering from the Mother of all chattering genes! No shiet! I swear I became closer to God the past few days due to my constant praying to that God for patience. And for him to break any and all genes and cells that might ever have come my way from that side of the generational gene pool..... I will say, "at least she has someone to talk to." And I am sure its all my Dad's fault if you ever ask her. I will end by saying she did an excellent job to the point of clients emailing me saying so. And might I add telling me how lucky I am to have such a wonderful Mother etc and so on.... Hey, she was on her best behavior for two days... there's more to her as each and every one of us know about our Mother's..... but for now, it was a good experience. Ever heard of "write that down, it might not happen again!" That is exactly what this is all about here right now. My mentor Fred would freak at me writing those words...(you know "it might not happen again") too negative she would say.... Me...I am just happy to write it down cause it did happen. Happy Happy Day....
www.marciabackstromdolls.com/gallery2.html p.s. the photo is NOT of my Mum! ha

I Know it's Too Early......But

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 10:53:19 PDT

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!! Christmas is happiness for me. Christmas is creativity and nativity and activity and pover-ity city for most. Maybe I am basically glitzy and Christmas gives me an opportunity to legally be a glitzer...Rhinestones of all colors, dangling gold and silver, fur and feathers and all the majestic colors of the Wise Men. The smells of apples and cinnamon and almond flavored sugar cookies. Pine scent inside our homes be it real or warming in a simmer pot. Decorating windows and railings, fireplaces, stairways, and bathrooms. Lighting candles in the window signaling a wayward family member home for the holidays and forevermore. Tinsel and teddy bears and peppermint candy. Giving. My favorite activity is giving and Christmas is the only time I can do it freely without someone saying I should take care of myself first. Or am I doing it so they like me. Not! Taking Tommye's Toppers (my friend knits beautiful hats and scarves) to the homeless shelter and battered women's shelter. Baking shoe boxes of assorted cookies to be delivered on a chilled snow covered day to the various people on my list. Brownies with caramel and decorated Santa's. Pinwheels, and Cornflake Cherry cookies next to my traditional Pfefferneuse of which I make huge pickle jars full and give as gifts...adorned with gorgeous ribbons I might add. My famous chocolate chip cookies and chocolate pie....Sprinkled bell cookies. And my Angel Sugar Cookie mold from 1995. Oh, Gingerbread men or are they women? Flowing lace packages....rich foil paper.....ready made bags with glorious pictures on their faces. Fireplaces crackling if anyone is lucky to have a real one anymore. God forbid an outage. I love going to the malls to view the individual trees all in different themes... My favorite is Macy's and Boston Store where one could spend $5,000 easy just on ornaments and other Christmas foo foo. I think I get this from my MoMo. (Maternal Grandmother) She was a

clutterer of knick knacks and paddy Wacs, whatever they were she had 'em... All very neat of course. It was just that every nook and corner was filled. I have to be careful of my nooks and corners or I will fill them!! This is why Christmas allows me so many of my deep passions and pleasures. Creativity, spontaneity, Glitz-city, and major activity. As the children have moved away there is much less activity. The Grands don't visit here much...they go to the funny farm...there is more room and they have motorized cars and chickens and the pony to feed. A golf cart to drive all over the farm....and many toys to play with. A small apartment doesn't offer much to small children. So to the mall I go to window shop, always coming up with ideas for things to make, just never doing it, or to blogging and writing. There is Gracie Allen and Lucy that need attention and my work. And the most important is the MENTALITY of CHRISTMAS!!!

I made this little skier fellow about twenty years ago out of salt dough, then baked him and painted him...whalla....I have a few others that have weathered time. I keep them in the infamous jewel box with the old report cards and such. What's with the blue dot for an eye? I have evolved since then thank God! Now I put a dot in the center of the blue dot. No, I don't make these anymore...just a joking.

Microwave Masacre

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 09:09:46 PDT

When I refer to "my clients," I am referring to a small group of families of whom I nurture their homes. My children grew up, foster children moved away, ended my volunteering at Hospice Care, Auntie Berdie (96) moved to a new nurse home too far away to visit her daily, so I now nurture homes! Which can be quite satisfying, quite hilarious, quite nasty, and so on....just like children and elders. I have a helper name of Maria... she alone is hilarious! She is hard of hearing and my eyesight isn't what it used to be... She calls us the "deaf and dumb crew," of which I don't laugh... Maria has a dark side! (To say the least) I often think I should find a new helper, but then....I don't. Maria has nicknames for our clients. Granted Nicknames they deserve, but yet still....jeez...I am not one to put any negs on my clients. They pay my rent for crying out loud which is what happens when ya cant pay your rent. There is Goldfish lady, Candyman, ToyTrixie, (don't ask), PsychoLady, SpiderWoman, MoldyMom, and a few I cant mention... The clients Maria likes she has no knicknames for and will go into their homes before I arrive....otherwise she sits in her BIG CHEVY TAHOE with blackened windows and HUGE chrome rims (no they don't spin thank God) and waits for MaMa! We have a new client as of Friday... We call her MicrowaveMasacre which really doesn't need much explanation. You have to understand we see it all! We know who takes what medications, who washes their hands and who doesn't, whose electric toothbrushes have yellow and brown gunk all around their bases, who cleans between the two weeks before we return...and who doesn't!! We don't even have to take our shoes off at some homes for fear our feet will get dirtier than our shoes were to begin with. We have to touch things no one but family should! Gloves work well. I cant say we could be on the dirtiest cleaning jobs reality show, but we do our part for sure. Maria will come walking out of a bathroom holding "something" by its tip with her face all distorted mumbling cleshay's, (sp) (I got it, cliche' which was spelled so badly Google even missed it) all the way as she turns after giving MaMa the facial and otherwise drama!
I have to laugh at her! We unscrewed a faucet to soak it in vinegar and toothbrush it because we found orange and brown GUNK from months of "something!" Can you imagine? Maria says, "Ooohh, could I have a glass of water mmmmm?" And cobwebs that have taken over the house along with what lives in cobwebs. We are handed a little dirt devil to do this master job....that'll work don't cha know it? Seems now a days women have a baby and sit on their buns for months and do nothing but bounce a baby and feed it. I have professors, Doctors, and business owners, and lest I forget "analists, ) who clean before we arrive. I say its easier to clean a dirty house than a spotless anal one. Basically I am saying I have a very good group of clients that I don't understand. It cant be my age because Maria is half my age and she totally doesn't get it either. We have gays, and one lesbian family who wont let us touch or make their bed, or touch their dishes...humm. Our fav's is our gay guys...we have three Gay Clients and I would take twenty more. They are kind, (except one), loving, (don't get me wrong), respectful, courteous, and authentic! Only gripe we have it that there is enough hair laying around to make wigs. Wont tell you what Maria says about that! It's just hair, not what's in their hearts!

p.s. If any of my honorable, wonderful, respected clients even read this, rest assured I make all of it up! Y e s ..... I ..... d o!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/httpwwwflickrcomphotosangie/27015357/ drawing by Wilfred Hathaway

Green Bay Packer Pumpkin

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:59:58 PDT

I found the other Pumpkins I painted last year, or maybe it was the year before. No matter, I am rather proud of my little fellows..... Soon as I find some fake ones I will make them again...to last forever. Or at least a long time.

October Holiday Faces...by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:54:03 PDT

These are just a few of my Pumpkin faces. Liza Minnelli is center bottom... I have a Green Bay Packer but I cant find that picture...o well. I found some similar to these on line a couple years back so I copied them, then took off and made my own.. I love creating them. I didn't make any this year but I will next year. I wish to find some ceramic or other material that lasts a lifetime vs the reality pumpkin that dies and withers away like an ice sculpture or a sand castle. Not my idea of "letting go." I rather keep my creations for generations. Probably I should let go of "things" more easily. But they why? I am what I am...a keeper.

Halloween Fun....by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:54:34 PDT

I made this 'Happy Ghost" for a freind of mine and his wife a few years ago... He has since passed away, but I am certainly glad to have brougth this joy to their home for a few years ...they also purchased the "witch in front of the moon" on the last blog post... I must find a place to do my work again... I do miss it!

Happy Halloweenie....by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:53:38 PDT

One of my many talents...seriously! I cut these little cuties out of huge 4' x 8 ' sheets of plywood. Then paint BOTH sides to become these creative creatures... Only problem is the witches broom broke off...but you get the idea.... These are allot of fun to create and offer many others joy of the season.

The Bloody Leg by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:40:25 PDT

Does it look like ALSWELL? Every year I put the bloody leg out the trunk of my car. Until last year when some jerk stole it. So I bought another one and now every night I put it in the trunk for safety. I drive allot in my city so you can imagine what I see regarding the bloody leg. I do get concerned it might cause an accident but much less distracting than cell phones, eating McDonald's while driving or putting lipstick on. Today I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a lady taking a photo of my car. It startled me until I saw her laughing as the flash went off....then I knew it was "The Bloody Leg!" It does make people happy and laugh wherever I go... And that's the idea....I spread joy with a Bloody Leg... duh. One would think I could come up with better ways but for now, its "The Bloody Leg." Basically it means there is a dead body in my trunk that has experienced severe trauma. Isn't it interesting what makes people laugh? I wouldn't ever drink and drive and especially wouldn't with "The Bloody Leg" hanging out the trunk! I don't drink and drive sshheessh... Maybe I should drive it around on country roads late at night...then again, maybe not.

Wishbone City by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:40:43 PDT

How many people do you know would allow anyone to see their little collection of dried up wishbones? Me! Only because I just came upon them packed in a box since 2003. That means they are yaaah, six and a half years old. They aren't eewww. They don't smell. They are a bit crusty. They do sort of remind one of a skeleton. Or a pile of skeletons. That is eewww. Well here is my explanation. Every time we had a family holiday turkey or just a turkey I would save the wishbone on the window sill to dry out. When it dried there seemed to be too many people wanting their wishes granted and no way of sharing it.....sooo I put it in my jewel box. Then again and again and again until I had too many at which time I put them in a baggie back in the bottom compartment of the jewel box. Always thinking someday someone might need a really big wish to come true. Yup that's it. So in the beginning it was no way to share one little wish (bone) with ten people and then it became me saving it for One Big Wish someday. Or maybe I will auction them off on EBay....
How much should I price them at? Or back to the jewel box? Naaahh

Oh My, It's a Herd of Men....by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:41:01 PDT

I was outside my first clients home this morning around 9:30 a.m. The air carried a chill like many October mornings do in Wisconsin. It was a very quiet morning considering I was in a parking lot of a large condominium estate, yet the only sounds were from a few singing birds who have not left for Arizona yet. Dummies. Suddenly I heard a voice, then more voices. I turned toward the North and to my delightful surprise it was not birds, but Six hot, way too young, men, walking the "hot" black pavement, (I'm practicing my writing skills) obviously they made it hot - considering it was 42 degrees outside at that time. Have you ever said what you were thinking all the time not meaning to? I said loudly, "Oh my, It's a herd of men!" I could not believe I said that, but I had. The leader of the "Pac," I could tell he did not know what to say - of which I don't blame him after a momentary thought about what I had just said... He responded with manly man words such as ......"We're just making sure your safe out here." Maybe he thought I thought the pac was coming for me and wanted to assure me they were not assaltive. Is that a word? I thought, omg in my dreams! I wanted to say, "Wow, Haven't seen this many men all at once since the "fire in my oven" (I love my puns) fifteen years ago when fifteen gorgeous firemen came with red trucks, sirens, hoses and all the equipment necessary!! And before that the last time I saw that many men all at once was High School. (I should get out more) As they came closer I said something I cannot remember but I do know I was trying to fix an awkward momentary situation between seven individuals. Me being one. The "Pac" or "Herd" leader said they were there making sure the property was all in order. They must have been owners of the condo properties I presumed. I lightened the mood and the color of my face with a comment regarding what a beautiful brisk day for their walk about. They agreed. And off I went to work leaving my fantasies in the parking lot. Just kidding about the fantasy thing. (there I go again, punning it)
http://www.insidesocal.com/outinhollywood/2007/02/men-in-suits.html

Not the Mentalist, the Analist...by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:41:26 PDT

Definition of the slang term "Anal": Compulsive or very picky about doing things a certain way.

Have you seen the new TV show called the Mentalist. I love that show.. I experienced a new client today I would call an Analist, whose home was PERFECT when Maria and I arrived. I mean perfect. The dog cant even eat until she gets home so she can clean it up immediately. Nor does the dog get water until she is home from work and can clean that up immediately also. Maria and I stood there somewhat in shock after she left, then we noticed the dog who was looking at us with this dear little poutty face, at which time Maria and I looked at each other and then....omg for a camera! Maria says in a far away little high squeaky voice, "Help me, Help me, Save me!" You know pretending to speak for the dog... I wailed with laughter. One of those perfect moments in a perfect house.

Client asked me to dust the sides of her dresser!....I was afraid of her house it is sooo perfect. Almost like my Mother. LOL... In the closets all the clothes are segregated by color....in the kitchen cupboards there are baskets to keep everything separated in neat perfect order. She gets upset if anyone walks on her carpet and messes up the vacuum lines...She wants to look at it for awhile first. Scary place indeed.... Yet pretty darn funny too....

Dear Frank..... by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:41:51 PDT

"This is Frank"
Dear Frank....

Do you ever find getting into someone else's head slash energies slash thoughts is detrimental to your health and well being. Notice the detri- slash -mental...humm. Or, Dear Frank do you find it a good idea that it helps determine where you stand even with yourself if you get into why someone is treating you in such a way that is confusing. Confusing? Let me help you understand. If someone gives you a gift and it is truly a gift you know their energy is good and their thoughts are kind. End of issue. But on the other hand, and I know how you dislike the word but, Frank, but, as I began to say....if someone gives you or me a gift and you notice oddities regarding their personality and energies toward you, which indeed includes words and attitudes, do you climb into their head? I would say no.. but...(there it is again Frank) when you are awakening in the early morning and the thought comes to you in the form of an answer that you didn't chase after....wouldn't you then allow it and follow its leading? I did Frank.....ya know what I found out? That the gift wasn't really a true gift. It is a gift which (witch oops) that person didn't truly want to give and wishes she hadn't. Therefore the attitude and the expectation of a return from me to her in the form of payment is a requirement she is trying to hide. I got it Frank. Do you get it?That is what is inside her head and "coming at me." I was so dumb Frank... Here I thought it to be a miracle...

Guess it was for me. Poor dear, I should pray she gets her energies fixed "back" toward the good side. Thanks for your time Frank... I love our little talks.

p.s. Frank is my friend and mentor who I call Frank because sometimes she is very 'frank' with me. Love my puns, or was that really one? She calls me Fern when I do stupid thoughtless things as I do her...like the time she got in the shower with her bra on..... or the time she put her large ferns on top of their little broken "old" triumph (car hello) in the garage, then proceeded to push the car outside with ferns atop to get them some Sun.. That is where the name Fern originated. Now you know Frank and Fern... they are quite a pair....

Movin on up! To the East Side???? by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:42:10 PDT

To me that means moving to a better place, a more prosperous place, be that a different street or State! Remember George and Wheezy? I should dance all the way...Tonight my son asked me to move to L.A. and live with him, so ...... I cried some Mr. "L.E. Phant "tears and then I wondered how I would sleep due to the stuffed nasal passages. I did the hot salt water up the nose, thanks.. I am fine now for a minute or six. I talk so darn big...having a dream of moving to L.A. near my boys, yet scared silly of doing it. Son says to start the Green Cleaning business again in Beverly Hills, right next door to where he and I are going to live! There I said it~omg....to pueck or not to pueck. Hey get ahold of yourself....you always wanted to do the Baby Boom thing and move to Connecticut or Vermont was it? Make gourmet applesauce and sell it to all the rich folk..... Big dreams little guts? Son says sell it all, buy some new. Omg! He has forgotten my age. Surely. Been about eight years since he has been around me much. That means he saw me last when I was around 53 ish. And since then I have osteo in the hips, sciatica in the ass, and fear as a freak. Oh I forgot I have God. I can do anything as long as I keep my Intention at hand and The Secret in my forefront and Xanax in my pocket. And then there is Grace! Son says find a great place for Grace to live. No way Hose Chihuahua! I found Grace and she has kept my life going.... What to do? I...wont leave my dog! Could find Lucy a home, but no way on Grace. She depends on me.
Son says in Cali one doesn't need health insurance...you get "free care." Guess that means sitting in a free clinic until such happens (care that is) and that is for colds and flu, not old age issues. Omg. How did I get here? I do numerology and my numbers say I NEED security above all else yet it is the one thing I have not. I almost got on my knees earlier...but told God to listen as tho I were on my knees considering it's too hard to get back up if at all. Hope he heard me. L.A. with Grace or not? Grace has been my best friend...won't leave her behind.... there is much more..... like I have almost eighty sweaters stuffed in drawers and on shelves and in bags, tons of winter jackets and boots..... I have one nice pair of summer slacks, a couple linen tops, (the washer ruined everything in one load as the bleach dispenser miscalculated its timing) no shoes (have to get to foot doc first) and he isn't free! If I hear correctly and I still have that going on.....its warm year round in L.A.

Just a Touch.... by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:42:28 PDT

Well I don't mean you have to hug me every time you "pass me by." Actually I thought this picture was so interesting I wanted to use it today... What I do mean is that touching someone can change their day and even their life. Touching by some whose energies are clear and positive can heal sickness. Touching by anyone with kindness behind the touch is uplifting to a place we should be at all times anyway. Higher than lower for sure. Some people rarely ever get touched by another human being. That isn't good. Some can afford spa massages and Rieke touch and pedicure and foot massage and so on. Some cannot. Where did all this touchy talk come from? I was at a clients home the other day, actually someone I hadn't thought of so kindly on occasion. She hasn't learned how to deliver herself to the world in such a manner that she is likable. I had purchased something for her home that she needed. That was a big step for me as it obviously isn't my home.... (She was also aware that my company had donated some time to Habitat for Humanity work) This prompted her to walk over to me and put her hand on the top of my arm (you know that flabby part after 40). Her hand was very gentle, with good energy ...I could feel and sense that. She said, as she touched my spirit and flesh, "You are such a good person Diane, you do much for other people."

WOW! I didn't mean to. And not to toot my own horn, or blow my own whistle because obviously I don't even realize it. But when she touched my arm something happened to me. I felt like a child who was told she was alright, OK, good, wonderful, and just plain great! I felt a surge of energy pulsate thru me like I was the energizer bunny gone dead, and now recharged. My bells were clanging and my step was higher, and my mind was clearer, and I felt I could go on forever. No pink bunny suit, just me, a simple ordinary human being that must have needed a touch. Now where the heck do I get another one? I guess by giving.... The best part of this little touchy feely story is that I got knocked in the head every so gently by I suppose God, telling me not to talk or think badly about anyone...keep it level and clear so the positive good energy can keep coming thru to me. Don't block it! So what'd he do? He used someone I had thought ill of to reach me. touch me... I said I was sorry!

swallowcliffs.blogspot.com/2009/09/number-7.html

www.socialcyanide.com/.../touch&healing.jpg

Bath and Body Shower Glove Killer.... by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:42:46 PDT

I was shopping for cotton gloves yesterday and ran across some Body Benefits Bath and Shower gloves. I decided to buy them as winter in coming soon and exfoliating is a good idea so half your body isn't left on your socks and other clothing...eeww. As I was putting groceries away and toiletries I threw the gloves into the shower stall. Next day getting ready for a family birthday party, I turn on the shower, get in and see the gloves laying on the shower floor all wet. Humm, wonder how that will be trying to get wet gloves on. Actually that was not the hard part... the hard part is, they were wrapped, stapled, and sewed together like someone might try to steal just one. It was like opening and removing a Barbie Doll from its Super Max box at Christmas while taking a shower. Yes indeed. Actually I think a higher power was trying to stop me...if I could have heard any voices they would have said, "Stop, these are really "Killer Gloves" from Taiwan!! But no I never listen. I started scrubba dubbing when pain became present. I thought to myself, "What the hell?" Then I noticed more pain .... "These things should come in degree's of grit... like sandpaper. Did I buy the wrong grit?" As I continued, (I never know when to stop) I wouldn't have to shave under my arms, or legs! All moles were either damaged or disappeared... Then I decided to check Google when I got out of their without bloodshed to see if we were at war with this country that sent these Killer Gloves here. I also got a free pedicure and any varicose veins ran for hiding. There was no nail polish left on any of my extremities. My face looked like I'd been taking drugs for acne... the color of fire. Not what I intended for sure. I checked the label to see what the ingredients of the gloves were....nothin stated. I say bamboo shoots! O well, live and learn, it's a wonderful life, especially when you shop at Wal Mart..(which I try not to do) Only for doggie poddie pads! Sounds about right huh?

What a Wasted Life! by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:43:03 PDT

Last week was an unusually "shitty" week. Troubles were seeping out from under doorways, cracks in the cement, corners of the ceilings. Well maybe that's a bit a drama going on there, but it was somewhat extreme. Me, I need a day to get over even one incident so to gather my emotions properly but they were stacking up like hotcakes and they were hot indeed. Each with its own little and big issue. Might as well have been little pebbles inside each hot cake and when bitten into the sharp grind and blackened pain when a tooth hits an unsuspecting pebble with a force not contemplated...ouch! That was my week. So on Friday I said to whoever was lurking in the atmosphere of my world or home, "What a wasted life!" And to my shock and surprise, as I know it wasn't the dog or cat or even dead Grannie, well maybe her, a very strong, yet gentle voice delivered to me these words: "NO! Waste is feces, garbage...your life is not a waste! Get out of the garbage can, stay out of the toilet, you do not belong under doorways or up in the cobwebs in corners, or in the cracks of broken cement because you are not broken and you are not poop and you are not old garbage...get back on solid ground! Get up on the bridge and be only an observer of life's other side.. do not participate in such trash tales for then you become a part of them. That is what happened to you in such a short time. A stack of waste hit you and you participated. Your life is not a waste product, rather a glowing display of goodness and love and sharing and caring. You are an amazing Mother for anyone that allows you into their lives or homes."
Like I said I don't think it was the dog that spoke to my mind and heart. Nor was it Grannie this time...(I couldn't smell her.) So I figure it was the big guy not in the sky, but in my spirit firmly pulling me back to the flowers and beautiful blue sky. Or even back to the dirty carpet in my home and reality... I'll get it cleaned, hang on.....although the bathroom is due for a scrubbing. Too bad have a birthday party to go to today. Maybe tomorrow, I've had enough of "waste" for a while. I love my puns! One final little note here. Never say, "What a waste of time" either....for time is precious and a gift.

www.things4myspace.com/wp-content/uploads/200

Happy Birthday Cody Ogden....by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:43:22 PDT

The big 30! And you are on the road this week so you haven't even gotten your cards, video's, facebook doo da day's, etc. Sometimes birthdays are like any other day and then again some years are more special than others. I am very proud of the way you make each day a good day surrounding yourself with as much positive energy of life that you can. I am proud of you in every area of your life. Thanks for being born to me...or for choosing me to be your Mom. Love you forever. xxoo

Don't Waste Your Time.....by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:43:37 PDT

Don't waste your time responding to critics....

Sanballot and Geshem sent this message: "Come let us meet together..." But they were scheming to harm me, so I sent messengers to them with this reply. "I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?"
Nehemiah 6:2-3

Today I was at a clients home and read this passage from his desk calendar. It is from "Life's Little Instructions from the Bible. H. Jackson Brown Jr. I thought it to be brilliant. (Duh it was from the Bible)

Today, before leaving for work, someone called me and stuck a verbal knife into my life mind. I tried all the way to work to shake it off. I tried the advice of a friend who says to shake it off like a wet dog shakes off excess water. That nor was anything else working. The knife continually wedging away at the cells of my mind as it was anger not hurt. An hour of so passed and then I saw the reading for September 22nd on my clients desk and it was like it was put there for me indeed. Why should I stop and leave my life, my wonderful beating heart, my genuine caring and perfect job TO GO DOWN TO YOU! What a heck of a messenger I had today. I suspect "it" had wings, along with a job detail from above. The knife disappeared with all its hate as quickly as it had come. And with it went all the evil destruction it caused.
Reminded me of Jr. High, H.S., and even on out (girls) .....how some people treat others!

rainworks22.homestead.com/bbnm5.html

The Funny Farm .... by Diane Ogden

dogden@tds.net ("The Happy News Lady") — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:43:57 PDT

Oh naughty me...calling slash naming the old homestead "the funny farm" may not be nice huh?

But it is true. Mother has gotten to the place of talking to herself continually. Scares the hell out of me. That could be good. Every time I catch myself talking to myself I STOP! Big red stop sign... even tho I rather enjoy having someone to talk to when living alone. doi. Well anyway I went there today AGAIN.... self abuse ..... but today was better than usual...I came out with some goods of food. Clean unsprayed apples, tomatoes, carrots, pears, forgot the green beans....all from the funny farm. The place I was raised. The place.........never mind. Do the tomatoes make up for it? Nope. But it is what it is. And time passes, sometimes passes us by and then we die. Lighten Up....aint nothin goin on at the cemetery...not even anything bad ....ha