The World According to Shoehead

116 days of Camp Shoehead! Was I going green? You betcha!

2009-11-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

I was actually green with envy at my neighbors who were enjoying TV, computers, reading at night, and warmth, as I sat by my nightly campfire on my porch. Due to some crazy financial dealings, and some indecision, as well as sheer treachery, Casa Shoehead was Camp Shoehead for 116 days, beginning July 31st as PG&E turned off the power. It was kinda fun at first (kinda), but after a while it just plain sucked. well last week, thanks to the diligent efforts of the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead, and a cool PG&E guy named Al (who left a really cool flashlight behind), we are now back at least to the 20th century, hoping to slip into the 21st century sometime soon. I'm still trying to break the "no-power" mindset as I rearrainge my habits back to a pre-Camp Shoehead routine. I'd forgotten the other night that I actually can read at night. Plus, I flipped on a switch only after automatically reaching for the flashlight.
But the biggest joy I got this week was The History Channel! And the other 500+ channels that I can now scan aimlessly! Yay! Now, I can actually re-connect with all my favorite shows! in fact, I'm just in time for the season finale of Sons of Anarchy. I watched it last night, and said to myself... "What the hell's going on?" But that's OK, I'll get back up to speed before S.A.M.C.R.O. really takes it to Henry Rollins and Adam Arkin! I've got my microwave popcorn all set!

Happy Birthday, MOM!

2009-11-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

Today's my mother's birthday, and I'd be remiss if I didn't give it some kind of mention.
Also, we're working diligently to get the power turned back on, once again returning to "Casa Shoehead" from "Camp Shoehead". Camping at home can be fun, but it's a bitch during the winter months. We actually did do something somewhat cool the other day--the lovely Mrs. Shoehead wanted to take a hot bath, so we heated up water over the fire in potfuls and filled the bathtub with water, colonial-style! My good friend Hawkeye, who's a part-time mountain-man (or maybe he's a part-time 21st century man) was very proud of me, not to mention the least bit amused! But, through faith, prayer, money, and the mercy of PG&E (if any exists) Casa Shoehead should be lit back up with real electric lights, and gas to cook with, too!
I just reviewed some of my older blog entries from over the spring and summer, and I noticed that with the lack of television at Camp Shoehead, I haven't been able to deliver any of my cutting-edge, witty critique of reality shows an other TV pop-culture bonbons. Well, rest assured, my faithful readers, that my biting op-eds on our favorite media medium will soon burst forth once again!
So 'til next time, Happy Birthday, Mom! And to all a good night!

Sigh... I had to scratch "Co-ed 4"

2009-11-17T10:12:00.000-08:00

After lots of deliberation, and much reluctance, I talked to the producers of "Co-ed Confidential 4" this morning and had to drop out of the project for personal reasons. I'll really miss the cast and crew, and I want to the thank the producers for being so understanding.

Outta Nowhere!

2009-11-16T11:26:00.000-08:00

Irony of ironies... This past week, the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead returned to Camp Shoehead. She has a few health problems, and I plan to take care of her, but WOW! I went from getting prepared and adjusted to a single life again, and now she's back. Now, don't get me wrong--I'm happy, and Camp Shoehead is a lot less lonely. One of the most important things to me, those of you that know me personally, is the happiness of my pets, especially my dogs. They're overjoyed that Mommy's back! I know that seeing all of us together as a family once more fills their little hearts with such happiness! We've been having fun spending quality time together in front of a fire every night, and it's been great!
But what about me? Now my plans are changing once again. What will the future hold for your ol' pal Shoehead?

I can breathe again!

2009-11-10T15:17:00.000-08:00

Was it the garlic? Or was it the crazy-smelling vapor-rub? All I know is, I'm about 95% at my optimum. I've been reading through not one, but two books on herbal remedies. I used to be into it in 1999 when I managed a GNC store. but over the years, and crossing the continent, I fell away from that whole "healthy lifestyle" thing. In California, no less! But I plan on getting my medical 420 card, and reading and learning more about herbal remedies and natural health cures. Especially if the Democrats take over health care! I'll become my own doctor, too!

Crunch time!

2009-11-09T10:57:00.000-08:00

With my upcoming gig on "Co-ed", plus two weeks back in Virginia for the Holidays, I'll be away from Camp Shoehead for six weeks! It seems like I have about a million and one things to do.
My main concern as always is my dogs. My neighbor said he'd feed them every day, but I still hate leaving them all by themselves. The estranged Lovely Mrs. Shoehead told me that she'd be too busy to look after them. Hmm... do I board them? That would eat up all the money I'd make on the show. What to do, what to do...
My next concern is a place to stay. I've stayed with friends before from the crew, and I'm always absolutely appreciative (I am the consummate houseguest!) but none of my friends that I usually stay with are on this shoot! Now, I have slept in my car before--taking my showers in the gym, etc.-- but for six weeks???
Another thing is my ACN business. Now that I'm done with the prison gig, my ACN is starting to gain momentum. Then I just leave for six weeks? Hmmm...
Not to mention DMV stuff, some other bureaucratic crap I have to deal with, and just getting ready for a six week trip, I'm a little stressed out! Not my usual cucumber-cool Shoehead!
Oh well, it'll all work itself out.
here's something fun--I'm still fighting off a slight bout of bronchitis (at least I hope it is, and not the H1N1 swine flu!), so ever the holistic wannabe, I read in an herbal remedy book that a great cure for bronchitis is garlic. So, I've been chewing raw garlic cloves for the last four days! Nice, huh? I don't think I stink like garlic, but then again, I wouldn't notice it if I did! It was recommended that I chew sprigs of parsley to combat the garlic breath, which I have been doing... But doesn't that stuff go through your bloodstream and your pores? Yikes! The plus side is, there have been no vampire sightings at Camp Shoehead since I started this new regimen.
OK, readers... let's see what tomorrow brings in this crazy, stressed-out week!

Wow, I just hit 100 posts!

2009-11-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

Actually, this is my 101st post... Who'da thunk it???
I've been very busy the past couple of weeks. I actually thought being unemployed would slow me down some, but I've been ROLLING! I just confirmed a spot on the crew of "Co-ed Confidential Season 4" and I'll get to work with my buddies Kevin Patrick, Bradley Joseph, and the always awesome Michelle Maylene.
It's gonna be a trip. Otherwise, still no power at Camp Shoehead. I'm trying to have it fully electrical by 2010! OK, til next time my amazing readers!

I'm loving the new schedule...

2009-11-03T10:48:00.000-08:00

Since they laid me off from the prison, and shut down C-Yard's program, I'm really enjoying not having to drive there every day, and listen to a bunch of crap from a bunch of unqualified losers. But I do miss the inmates, they were the only good thing about the job!
My favorite thing right now is the total stress-free existance that I'm experiencing. I've been running 90 minutes four times a week. I plan to run the L.A. marathon, and the N.Y.C. marathon next year. I wake up whenever I want to, but usually it's been at 6am. But that's OK, too... It's my choice!
Now, I face a major decision of the day... what will I eat lunch?
See ya tomorrow, good readers!

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T11:26:00.000-07:00

I'm one of those people who don't really put a whole lot of effort into my halloween costume, and basically throw something together last-minute every year. I think tonight I'll wear my bathrobe and go as Vincent "The Chin" Gigante. The problem is, I don't think anyone will know who that is here in Fresno! That's kind of a New Yorker's costume...

Starva Wazzoo Kitty (ca. 1995-2009)

2009-10-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was quite a traumatic day for me, good readers. As I returned from the library, where I blog, tweet, and network, I walked in to my house to see our oldest cat, Starva, laying half-on/half-off the dog bed in the living room. I called out, "Hi, Starva!", as I realized that something didn't look quite right. She'd never taken a position like that before, and her fur looked kinda matted, and it didn't look like she was even breathing... I felt her, and she was dead.
I immediately called my estranged wife, the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead, to give her the awful news. She's had Starva since the mid 90's; this little kitty was always there as long as I'd known my wife. She was devastated.
I let one of our other cats, Missy Cleopatra, who's known Starva for three years and had gotten as close to friends as starva would allow (she was a pretty aloof cat), and Missy looked curiously, and sniffed around . It looked like Missy was trying to feel for Starva's breath. There seemed to be a moment of understanding, as Missy slowly walked away.
There was no other choice, being the animal lover that I am, and absolutely devoted to my pets, but to bury her, and conduct somewhat of a funeral. I dug the grave (boy am I outta shape!), I wrapped her in a towel, and I enclosed a paper containing her full name, and a note that I appreciated having her in my life, and that her mommy loved her, and missed her a lot. I also placed two cat toys with her to play with in the great beyond. then, I finished with a prayer thanking God for the joy Starva gave us, and protection over my other pets, and she was buried. I tried to give her as much reverence and love as I could.
A combination of the exertion of digging a grave and the trauma and stress of finding her body and loss of a treasured pet left me drained. I slept all afternoon! I thought about feeding her, and listening to her meows, and I felt sad. The house seems a little bit emptier now.
One of the things that struck me about the whole incident is when I carried her little towel-wrapped body over to the gravesite. I cradled her head and tried to be as loving as I could. Her little face didn't quite look peaceful, but looked a bit in pain. There was some blood and tufts of fur laying about, but there was no mutilation. I don't think the dog actually killed the cat per se, I believe it was just a dog/cat fight--one of many--but her 14 year-old heart just couldn't take it.
So good-bye, Starva... you were an awesome little cat, and thanks for all the joy you've brought us over the years.
(The irony of this picture is that she's pictured on the dog bed that I her body on...)

Changes, changes...

2009-10-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

So I'm finally a statistic. My crappy prison job ended last week, and I'm officially on the unemployment rolls. Actully, I couldn't be happier... I'm still camping out at camp Shoehead, but it should get better soon. I'll make a point of blogging more. I know I've said that before, but I can't tell you how that job really sucked the life outta me. I remember not too long ago when this blog actually had readers! That's OK, I'll blog it up and get my readership back. It feels like I've been paroled myself! I'm still adjusting to not being in C-yard. it was somewhat bittersweet; I really was fond of all of my clients. There were some wonderful women in there, with talent, heart and a real desire to make positive changes in their lives. I'll miss those ladies a lot.
meanwhile, now I have time to catch up on the things I really love to do. Blog, write screenplays, work on my ACN business, and whatever else I feel like doing...
It's the dawn of a new day for your ol' pal Shoehead!!!
(Yawn... Time for a nap!)

This is an interesting day...

2009-09-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

Exactly one year ago (man, this was a fast freakin' year!) I made a mistake that cost me a lot out of my life. A year ago I was in Miami, shooting season 3 of "Co-ed Confidential", and really having a great time. I was with my friends, making money and having a blast, and it was really a great experience. I won't go into details just yet, but this day in particular is kinda reflective to me...
I understand "Co-ed 4" is getting ready to shoot soon. I should give them a call, especuially since I have like 25 days left of the prison job!

44 years old...

2009-09-15T16:15:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's my birthday again. Last year at this time I was in Miami, on day one of "Co-ed Confidential Season 3" shoot. This year has gone by so quick, it's scary. I'll try and get to blogging again, too. i miss it, and I miss my cool readers. I'm probably moving back to L.A. within the next fewmonths. The Lovely Mrs. Shoehead has left me, and I don't think she's coming back. The idea of dating again seems so crazy, and even a little stressful. BUT--I got a nice new haircut to start me off just right. OK, the uploader is not behaving, so you have to go to my Facebook profile to see the new look! I basically had a "Britney Spears moment". And shaved my head!
Yay!
Until next time, my awesome readers!

I haven't posted in a while...

2009-07-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

Sorry readers! I went back to prison... (my prison counselor job, that is!) But I am trying to get a little more diligent about my blogging. Soon, I'll actually have the internet back in my house. Yay! And a few moere changes little by little in my life.
Quick shout out to my cousin Chris Meyers, who is celebrating his birthday today. Happy Day, Chris!
OK, I'm getting back into the swing of things, readers, so bear with me, and thanks for sticking it out.
Aloha!

Some crazy stuff, my awesome readers!

2009-06-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

Ya gotta stay tuned 'til tomorrow, though. I just escaped from a crazy cult, and I'm also thinking about shutting down my "Myspace" page. Look for tomorrow's blog!

What a week I'm having... and it's only Tuesday!

2009-05-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

So a mistake I made several months ago has come back and bit me on the ass. To all involved parties, I apologize, and feel really bad about it. It was without malice, and I was not in a good place at the time. To anyone who may get dragged into it, I also apologize. Some good that's coming out of the whole thing—I learned a lot about myself, and I know where I need to improve. Plus, it's helping me to appreciate my wife, the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead much more. it's also made me reflect upon my Faith, and I know if I stay faithful...

Isaiah 54:17 (New King James Version)
17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the LORD.

DAMN, I'm 0 for 3!

2009-05-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

So that Danny won last night's Hell's Kitchen. Jeez!!! My reality-TV bracket got crushed this year. I backed Alison Iraheta in "Idol", Annie Duke in "Celebrity Apprentice" and Paula Dasilva in "Hell's Kitchen". I give up!

OK, two things I notice about Billy Ray Cyrus:

2009-05-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

1) He’s trying to redeem himself for that ridiculous mullet he sported around in the early 90’s by now trying to have THE COOLEST HAIR EVER!!! and,
2) He’s been totally pimping out his daughter, trying to sell her to the viewing public as this hot little sex symbol since she was like, 14… Creepy! It's almost like he wanted to date her or something. I dunno...
That’s it. Short blog today. Have a great weekend, my awesome readers!

Okey Dokey, Gokey!

2009-05-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

So the soulful Danny Gokey bit the dust on last night's Idol... Now, it looks like nothing will stop musical theatre Adam Lambert from taking the Idol crown. (Or in his case, I believe it's a tiara.) I actually didn't watch the show, as my satellite went out, and DirecTV customer service was too busy screwing around. So I actually read books last night! Yay me!

I'm going through a really weird phase right now. I'm on a medical leave from my job, and I'm trying to decide if all that stress was really worth it. I loved working with the inmates, but the environment was crazy. I'm going full blast with my ACN business, and that's going great! I love the company, and I love the actual work of reaching out to people and talking and all that. Our products and services are great too; I'm getting ready to upgrade my cell phone to some kind of kick-ass model, with all sorts of features I'll never learn how to use. So that's keeping me going. The Lovely Mrs. Shoehead, well... She's OK. I'll save that for another blog. Very weird phase I'm in right now. Very weird... Stay tuned my awesome readers!

Oh, No! Not Joan Rivers!

2009-05-11T12:32:00.000-07:00

Within a week, I tallied two losses in my “reality-TV” bracket. Still reeling from Alison Iraheta’s departure, I watched last night as mean, nasty Joan Rivers took the “Celebrity Apprentice” prize away from poker player Annie Duke. Of course, I could see it coming. The task was to throw a fund-raising event, and I saw that Joan clearly threw the better party, complete with drag-queen celebrity impersonators, and Kathy Griffin-caliber celebs like Constantine Maroulis and Kathy Griffin. Crucially for the task (and the show), the ever-important Kodak branding was sadly lacking on Annie’s side. More pointedly, Mr. Trump gave small indications that her favored Ms. Rivers. He ignored her rude outbursts, never fully addressed the ugly personal attacks against Ms. Duke, and gave the slightest tone of disdain when talking to the poker champ. Her pair of threes was basically trumped by Joan’s pair of fours.
I have really lost a lot of respect for Joan Rivers after this show. I had always respected her career, and really thought she was a genuinely funny lady. But the way she acted over the course of the show was utterly abysmal. She acted so incredibly childish—even to the point of plugging her ears with her fingers when Annie spoke, and making “blah-blah-blah” noises; as well as repeatedly interrupting and filibustering when Ms. Duke tried to answer Mr. Trump’s questions. I just thought she was more sophisticated than that. Mr. Trump was extremely forgiving when it came to Joan’s disrespecting the hallowed boardroom, which to me was the harbinger of the competition’s outcome. Ms. Duke would have had to magically produced a royal flush out of her sleeve to have won this task, as well as the competition itself.
Just a sidebar—Melissa Rivers actually looked kinda hot last night. Sexy dress, cool hair; (But I think it was the blue eye shadow that did it for me!) OK, where was I? Oh yeah, I was pretty much done. Let’s wrap today’s blog so I can go out running with Bocce, my Italian Greyhound.
So to me, the highlight of the night was Annie and Brande Roderick using ACN notepads for taking notes! Our logos were visible and large on the screen about four or five times! Yay! That was the coolest! But other than all the Joan nastiness, it was a great show last night! And NBC purchased season 9. Now for my “reality-TV” bracket, the only thing I have left is if that cute Paula beats that dweebie Danny on “Hells Kitchen”. Fingers crossed!

Thank you, “Scrubs”

2009-05-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

I just watched the season finale of “Scrubs” the other night, and I was actually very touched. It had just the right amount of laughter and tears, as well as a bit of nudging of my personal self-reflections, that made me think out loud, “Wow—what a great series…”
Like most popular shows that I fall in love with, I arrived late in the game, only having seriously devoted myself to the show sometime in the summer of last year. I remember in 2001, when I first moved to California and I was “couchman” in a townhouse apartment in Redondo Beach with a bunch of crazy 23 year-old stoner surfers (or surfing stoners—I wasn’t 100% clear on that—but it was still a blast!), one of my roommates, Scottie and I caught a few minutes of the then-brand new show. Scottie mentioned that it was supposed to be a pretty funny show, to which I nodded some kind of acknowledgement. That was it. For the next seven years of channel-surfing, mindless TV escapes, and late-night vegetations, I’d see “Scrubs” occasionally pop up, but I never lingered. I dismissed the show as fast as my finger could hit the remote buttons. Finally—after life took me to the cultural gulag that is Firebaugh, CA with the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead—I happened to land on a “Scrubs” episode, and immediately I was hooked. The characters were all quirky and intriguing; the writing exceptional; gags and storylines were top-notch; realism and absurdity blended perfectly. The show had heart, but never took itself too seriously. I voraciously auto-tuned and devoured every episode I could.
So as the final episode aired this past week, protagonist Dr. John Dorian (J.D.) played by Zack Braff was finally leaving Sacred heart Hospital after eight years of memories, emotions, and human drama. His best friend (and borderline boyfriend) Dr. Christopher Turk, played by Donald Faison, as well as his girlfriend, Dr. Elliott Reid, played by the ever-hot Sarah Chalke were on hand to commemorate his final day. J.D. laments that his last day of a very remarkable time in his own life, is treated as basically just another day at the hospital by the rest of the staff; including—most painfully—his mentor, Dr. Perry Cox (John C. McGinley) As J.D. finally walks out of Sacred Heart for the last time, memorable characters, dead and alive (including Hooch!), line the halls to bid him farewell, J.D. finally getting a send-off to cap his eight years at the hospital.
It was a great ending for a show that really did give me a lot personally. It lifted me up when I was feeling at a low point; it opened up my imagination and my mind to endless possibilities; it taught me some skills and renewed my resolve as an actor; and most importantly, never failed to make me laugh. So I want to thank Bill Lawrence and all the producers of the show, Zack Braff and the rest of the cast, and everyone who had a hand in making that show what it was (including my friend Kateri, who I saw as “Nurse Mop-top” in one episode.) So, kudos on a well executed series, and thanks again for what “Scrubs” meant to me.

I must blog on…

2009-05-08T11:32:00.000-07:00

While I still mourn the ousting of Alison Iraheta, I really need to get back on the stick and continue on, albeit difficult. Must… keep… blogging… As of right now, Shoehead’s World is in a bit of a nebulous phase; a time of uncertainty. I’m on leave from my prison job, and I just spoke with one of the producers of “Co-ed Confidential” about the shooting schedule for the long-awaited season 4. Now, as much as I love my clients in the prison—some absolutely wonderful women, seriously trying to change their lives around—my heart was never completely in the job. I came to California in 2001 with a purpose. I was to further my acting career, which was making slow but steady progress on the East Coast, and add the new dimension of screenwriter and producer. I made some great inroads, and met a lot of great people in the film industry, but I really feel like I just scratched the surface of achieving my goals. Along the line I was a marijuana smuggler, towel guy at a gym, truck driver, warehouse worker, shipping and receiving guy, bartender, and now a drug counselor—all of which added to the pantheon of stories to fuel my screenwriting. I also met “the girl of my dreams”—the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead—who, while a sweetie, never fully grasped the passion, focus, and drive needed to attain everything I’ve worked for the last several years. She couldn’t quite grasp why I’d prefer fetching coffees and sweeping floors on a movie set to making $15/hour shipping in some warehouse in Chatworth. So, while now I’m 250 miles away from my industry, and I’m seeing friends of mine popping up on TV shows and movies, while I drag my ass to a literal prison every day (thanks for the perfect metaphor, God!), my Spidey-sense is tingling and telling me to make a few drastic changes. First of all, I had always believed in the unlimited potential of the human spirit. Applied to myself, I’m trying to get back to the mindset that the only thing limiting me is me. I have determination, drive, a little creativity; people usually tend to like me, I get along with almost everyone I meet; so there’s no reason I can’t set out and start attacking my goals in a systematic, focused fashion.
One of the ways I’m taking the reins on my life’s direction is by going back to writing every day, including blogging. I really love putting this blog out there, and I know I have at least a couple of readers. This totally unlocks my creativity, lets my mind open up and flow, and gives me a sense of purpose. I also believe that now that I have perhaps five or more readers, I have to at least write a B- blog. At the very least. Because another of my personal beliefs is to always maintain a standard of excellence. I think that’s something that a lot of people these days don’t really think about, lest adhere to. And I think it’s sad. But, since I can only work my own program, I’m going to really make an effort to carry myself with a new sense of excellence; write a blog that I would want to read if it were someone else’s, and commit to furthering my goals in a steady, determined manner. There’s a book on ancient Toltec wisdom that I read three years ago called “The Four Agreements”, and my brother and I actually tried to implement those agreements into our lives. One of the agreements is to always be excellent, and I’m going to reinstate that agreement. So I hope this was an excellent blog; I’m now going to have an excellent cup of coffee, and try to excellently decide if I’m returning to the prison or not. Excellent!

Adieu, my Alison…

2009-05-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

It was something I was awaiting with dread—the ousting of my favorite little 17 year old red-haired rocker, Alison Iraheta. And so it did finally occur last night, as America just didn’t push enough buttons for the crooning cutie. I myself am guilty of not dialing. (If she lost by one vote, I’ll really be pissed… Sorry, Alison—I’m still your biggest fan!) She took it well, and she did make fourth place out of hundreds of thousands of aspirants. Plucky, and obviously a good sport, she gracefully bowed out with her Janis Joplin number, “Cry Baby”. The last girl in this season’s competition then exited the stage, leaving three dudes vying for the big win.
I had been pulling for her for almost the entire competition. During the auditions, and Hollywood week, she remained under the radar with the producers and the camera operators. I noticed her bright red “notice me” hair, and saw that she was sorta troll-doll cute, but it wasn’t until the final 12 (oops—13. Sorry, Anoop!) when I first caught a performance did I realize just how talented this little rocker really is. And then, as the other contestants, particularly other females began to fall, I realized that she might just go all the way. But as recent weeks found her in the bottom three, and Simon’s obvious and very vocal disdain for her, I knew that her weeks on the show were soon at an end. And last night, these fears were actualized. Sigh…
Now, I haven’t written her off for good. I believe she’ll be a very successful recording artist, and help keep the blues-rock genre still remain afloat in the ocean of hip-hop, ultra-commercial R&B, and cheesey mainstream crap-rock. She’ll do the Idol tour, and make her appearances on subsequent Idol episodes. But now I don’t really feel like I have a reason to watch the next two weeks. It’s pretty clear that musical-theatre Adam Lambert is gonna win the whole pie. While he has a pretty good voice, and is definitely an entertainer, there doesn’t seem to be anything genuine about him. Everything is a performance. This whole “American Idol” thing for him is just a big audition. He’s trying to play a “rocker”—complete with the perfect “rocker” hair (which he has to return to Liza Minelli when the season ends), perfect “rocker” clothes, and perfect “rocker” attitude. He is a good actor, that’s for sure. He’s convinced enough people that he really is a “rocker”. I just can’t really envision in the years to come, real rock-n-roll people lining up to see an Adam Lambert concert. I see the same demographic that lines up to see a Hannah Montana concert buying these tickets, but the metalheads and the serious rockers that I’ve known all my life… I just don’t see it. Unless Queen got my earlier blog, and is considering him for their reunion tour, playing the Freddie Mercury spot. I might even line up and buy a ticket for that!

Rivers and Rivers

2009-04-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

Oy, vey! Last night’s “Celebrity Apprentice” once and for all demolished any shred of respect I had for Joan Rivers. After clinger-on daughter Melissa was voted off, in a somewhat surprising decision, I thought that I would enjoy the ensuing meltdown. But as the drama unfurled, and Melissa threw a tantrum that surpassed even reality-show standards, my shädenfreude-driven glee soon turned to discomfort as disturbed mother Joan joined her ousted daughter in a shameless breakdown. It actually became downright disturbing. Profanity-laden, personal attacks erupting as Rivers and Rivers furiously scrambled to make the most dramatic angry exit possible; screaming at P.A.’s to GIVE THEM THEIR F'ING PURSES RIGHT NOW, and explosively informing segment producers there would NOT be an exit interview NO F’ING WAY!!! Sheesh! The funny thing is, the pair acted as if this was actually a real job! Don’t they get to go back to their lives and their “real” careers now?

Over the last few weeks, Mama Rivers really seemed to lose it as the game went on. For some reason she became fixated on poker champ Annie Duke, who skillfully used her poker-playing acumen to do amazingly well in the game. Madame Joan increasingly leveled personal attacks on Ms. Duke, becoming more nasty and vitriolic as the show went on. I’ve witnessed cut-throatedness, and personal vendettas on this show before, but never to the level of almost psychotic fixation that Ms. Rivers was displaying. It had gotten to the point of being pathetic, and it was soon obvious a complete meltdown was imminent. I’m not sure whose idea it was to put these two together on the show anyway, as I’ve blogged about before. Especially when they were placed on opposing teams. Joan could not restrain herself from overprotecting her daughter, and this led to a somewhat compromised team loyalty. And then poor Annie Duke! She became Joan’s white whale. While definitely as cut-throat and scheming as you’d expect from a million-dollar poker champion, Annie never acted the Hitler, whore, bottom-feeder, scum, slime, and all other epithets Ms. Joan accused her of being. Every other contestant knew this show is a game, and the ousted took their oustings with grace and sportsmanship—including my favorite, the kute Khloe Kardashian. Joan took this game way too seriously, and gave no regard to how petulant, petty, and just plain nuts she came across to the viewing audience of approximately 20 million.

Now, Melissa… Hmmmm. I’d have expected Mama Joan to throw out her dignity and treat us to a huge tantrum, but I really didn’t expect Melissa to blow the gasket like she did. Now I do see that she is truly her mother’s daughter. I watched as she tried vainly to keep her cool, but with each second her anger overtook her. She even broke the cardinal rule of snapping off on Donald Trump (gasp!) in the boardroom, and subsequently scurried out the door, cursing everyone as she went. Joan followed her out—porting about six shopping bags and totes, looking like she was going down to 5th avenue to finish her shopping. I’d like to say I’m gonna miss the drama of having these two on the show, but I really won’t. The creepiness factor has been finally eliminated (at least one element), and the last contestants can now finish out the game with competitiveness and good, clean cut-throatedness. (Unless Jesse James punches out Clint Black—fingers crossed!)

What a day I had...

2009-04-16T18:21:00.000-07:00

I had some chest pains, and my doctor told me if that happened, go straight to the E.R. (not the TV series) so I got to the hospital at 7:00 am, and didn't get out til 2:30 pm! And I was stabbed and drawn blood from like six times! BUT, when I got really hungry, they did feed me. It was the 'cardio" plate, and it was pretty good—the Jello™ was superb! Finally, they let me go. All-in-all it was not a bad experience. The prison I work at sends our inmates there, so I actually saw some of the correctional officers I knew from A-yard, so we BS'd for a minute. And I gave huge kudos for my E.R. doctor, and nurse Jen, too. both of them were super cool! Not having quite enough of the hospital setting, I came home and watched a "Scrubs" re-run. Yay!
(I really feel like a cold beer right about now. Would that be a bad idea? Hmmmm...)