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Firing a Desert Eagle 50 (you know it's coming...ouch!)

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 13:28:00 PST

Halloween

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 20:07:00 PDT

Wal-Mart People

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 19:28:00 PDT

It seems like you started adding random things to that list. Midgets and DSL !!

Way to go Grandma !

Charming !

Eat your heart out Brad Pitt !

I’m UTTERLY speechless !

Well, lets all be thankful that at least half is covered.

Everyone loves a man in yellow go-go boots!

I REALLY hope that isn’t what I think it is…

Oh, you want to take my son for a ride in your van? I don’t see a problem with that !

The Batmobile is being fixed – this is my spare car !..

If a cheetah and a leopard decided to mate, this would be the result

Why did you ever, E…V…E…R. think this was appropriate to wear in public?

Yeah – well thanks for telling me that NOW !

Every man has an NFL jersey AND short pink shorts in their wardrobe, right?

How the hell does she manage to wipe her ass ??

Got any grits flavour chewing gum !

Pimpin ain’t easy down at da walmart.

It’s like those shorts are managing to cover nothing and everything at the same time.

Where the hell is Catwoman !

I see that Britney Spears let herself go…….again !

If i asked you where i could buy that shirt your answer would be…….

Nobody aint gonna mess with me !

Kinda relieved that we don’t get a glimpse of the front too…

Is it even legal to look this good?

Have a nice……..jeeez…..what the f!!!!!!!!!

Just another goat shopping at Walmart…….what’s so funny !

Click to view large

Nonsense...

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 18:19:00 PDT

Your best friend

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 13:32:00 PDT

The Ten Commandments Of Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 22:51:00 PDT

Commandment 1

Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'

Suryia and Roscoe - Best of Friends

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 13:32:00 PDT

Where you lead, I will follow...best friends Suryia the orangutan and Roscoe the Blue Tick hound.

Doggy paddle's the order of the day here for the couple who live at the Tigers sanctuary in Myrtle Beach , South Carolina ..

Suryia and Roscoe spend hours together every day - they're particularly keen on swimming.

The two mates see the funny side of most things.

There's always time to chill.

For once, Roscoe's letting it all hang out.

The three-year-old orangutan goes everywhere with Roscoe.

A dog's not just a man's best friend, he's an orangutan's too.

Rush Limbaugh's Family Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 03:21:00 PDT

Odd, strange, cool, funny~4

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 01:09:00 PDT

The Doctor

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 23:26:00 PDT

Ole Fills In

A doctor in Duluth wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. "Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients."

"Yes, sir!" answers Ole.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So, Ole, how was your day?"

Ole told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."

"Bravo, Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir," says Ole.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table and shouts, "HELP ME - I haven't seen a man in over two years !! "

"Tunderin' Lard Yeezus, Ole, Vat did you do?" asks the doctor.

.

"I put drops in her eyes!!"

U thought I was sending a dirty joke!!!!

Spice Girls II

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 19:34:00 PDT

Absolute Failure!

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 13:30:00 PDT

Odd, strange, funny~5

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 01:08:00 PDT

Some Laughs for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 13:10:00 PDT

Time to empty the ashtray?

No false advertising here....

Joe, the middle guy, is dressed up as a doctor so that he can
take care of these guys when someone beats them up later.

McDonalds - Mexico

WTF #1?

I bet this photo was not taken in an actual church...

WTF #2

A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do...

Mother of the year...

Gotta love a business owner with a sense of humor...

Barbie-Q?

Please tell me this is his Halloween outfit...

Grandpa's New GPS System

Pretty cool photos...?

It's called a drawstring....use it!

WTF #3

The New BMW Grill?

Excited about the weather?

Walter - the scientist (Groaner)

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 18:36:00 PDT

A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray. He tried it on

himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he couldn't reverse the process,

and he was stuck being the size of a normal man's thumb.

He had a loyal lab assistant who worked with him, though, so his

diminutive size didn't affect Walter's work too much. Still, after a

while, Walter began to long for female companionship.

His lab assistant thought up a highly unethical plan. He planned to

get a couple of ladies of the night, shrink them down to Walter's

size, and keep them shrunk until they could figure out a way to

reverse the process.

The lab assistant went to Times Square and tried to get the young

ladies, but it was trickier than it seemed. They were reluctant to

travel all the way to the lab, but the lab assistant offered to double

their usual rate, so they finally agreed.

As soon as they stepped into the lab, the assistant turned on the

shrinking ray. There was a flash of light and a puff of smoke, and

when the air had cleared – the prostitutes were exactly the same size

as they were before.

"What's the big idea? Eek!"

One of the prostitutes saw Walter scurrying across the floor and

squashed him flat with her shoe. Walter was dead, and the experiment

was ruined.

This was all because the lab assistant forgot what everyone already

knows: You can lead the whores to Walter, but you can't make 'em

shrink.

What would you do?

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 18:33:00 PDT

Security Failure

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 13:49:00 PDT

Memeory Restorer!

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 13:25:00 PDT

TGIF

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 18:00:00 PDT

Job at the CIA

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 18:29:00 PDT

Job at the CIA

The CIA had an opening for an assassin .

After all the background checks, interviews

And testing were done, there were 3 finalists;

Two men and a woman .

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of

The men to a large metal door and handed

Him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your
Instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting
In a chair .. . . Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could
Never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man
For this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was
Quiet for a bout 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,
But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't
Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the
Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one
After another. They heard screaming, crashing,
Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was
Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the
Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to
Beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL:

Women are crazy. Don't mess with them

Fake Cop Arrest

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 17:56:00 PDT

Small Pen✩s Alert!

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 17:55:00 PDT

This is not a prank ... It's a real event!

Shooting Range GIF

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 13:18:00 PDT

Failure of the day

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 23:50:00 PDT

Blonde Convention

noreply@blogger.com (X News) — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 18:29:01 PDT

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world- wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"