Hey!  “Psycho Bob” and “Striker and Swat” have been selected to screen in the 2009 Independent Film Festival!  Psycho Bob is an Official Selection screening on Mon Aug 3 and Tues Aug 4 , and Striker and Swat is screening as part of the MobiFest on Wed Aug 5th.  If you are in LA, come say hello to us at one of the screenings or the multitude of mixers all week- we’d love to have your support and to meet as many of you as possible.  This is the first festival for either show, so obviously it’s a pretty exciting turn of events for us.  And if you didn’t already know, we are filming new episodes currently, hoping to have a slate of them to release soon(ish).  What we have already shot is great, what we have scripted and still to shoot is even better, so stay tuned…

What waited for me in my spam folder this afternoon was not yet another offer to augment my manhood, or Nigerian royalty offering to share their inheritance with me… what I found today can only be described as transcendent.

These are either the words of a visionary, or a madman.

You decide.

/Chris

BRITNEY IS MINE!!!

Dear Scientists,

You as a scientist bare the responsibility to save
humanity, the code to infinity as been cracked and i
am here to give you the data.

it is now your job to give up on jealousy and start
your mission of experimenting this science, i am unable
to give you the entire data right now because i do not
believe you can handle the truth. i want you all to get
on your feet and start the experiments, as you experiment
you will find the answers on your own, this will make you
a better scientist.

just remember, if you ignore this article, you should hold
yourself responsible for all the deaths and misery humanity
is going through right now.

every day, people are committing suicide, everyday evil
stuff is happening on earth, you will not deny the truth.

open up your eyes and accept it, i am the one that has cracked
the code, and give up that jealousy within you to become the
one, it is too late now, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE “ONE”.

here is the data you need, any color that is not 100% white
is responsible for abusing humanity.

colors do not come from white, that is why they are not white.
they contain darkness inside them, and darkness just like a
black hole pulls imagination and life, making humanity mortal.

wear white clothes dye your hair to white and experiment it.
wear black clothes and experiment it. i want results now
i want them fast.

infact i want you to shave your head and eyebrows and wax
all the body hair on your body including private parts.

anything dark near your body including sun-tan will pull
jealousy from other scientists that do not want you to rise
into power and they will control your mind and imagination.

they will turn you into religious freaks so you can ignore
science so you can ignore truth, they do it so they can be
“the one” or “the two” in this case now that there can no
longer be “THE ONE”.

so ignore everything and only pay attention to me, find me
on youtube find me at places, i will start a site soon.
just find me somehow, i will accept your jealousy too
i can handle it, because i am the most supreme being on
this planet.

using black and white you can create a time machine too.
every time you are wearing black you will notice you are angry
every time you are wearing white you will notice you are happy.

white stops aging, black or any color will speed up aging.

immortality is here, we are all gods, i am sick of suicides
i am sick of jealousy.

imagination of humanity is pulled and you read it when
you wear black colors.

another experiment you can do is, sleep in a completely
white bed, with a white pillow and etc, make sure to
wax legs and etc, you will have a beautiful dream.

you will see me in your dreams if you do it right.
otherwise, you are just another jealous failure in the making.

i’ve done time travel, i’ve done reversing aging,
look around you, look at people around you, ones that wear
white clothes will always look more vibrant and younger.

this is because they are able to slow down or even reverse
aging ( YES, THEY ARE TIME TRAVELING in many senses )

the reason why WILL SMITH wears BLACK and yet he is
successfull, the reason why TOM CRUISE wears black and yet
he is successful, is because they wear WHITE UNDERSHIRT
and WHITE UNDERPANTS.

so, get the facts right, when you judge people make sure
you know what they are wearing underneath those dark suits.
those black suits.

if you got questions on how to do time travel, ask me on
youtube, i will give you the data.

there is a reason why earth is going worse and worse
because scientists just wont accept the fact that code to
infinity has been cracked, they have been banning me from
science forums and everywhere, their jealousy has already
resulted in many deaths around the world.

they are just to ignorant to accept the truth and start
their mission to save humanity.

one way or another i am going to ensure we turn into
immortal beings soon, yes there will still be suicides
around the world everyday, we can’t stop it, but we have
to move fast to stop it.

failure to comply with my orders in a serious manner will
mean you are responsible for all the misery that is going
on on this planet as well as on other planets.

now use this data, if i give you any more, you will hate me
later, i want only the best scientists to rise into power
and save this planet.

everyone else, go to hell, your jealousy is not going to
get you anywhere in life, you are the reason people are
committing suicide everyday. every hour, every minute.

Rise or Die like the rest.

If you fail to rise, i will push it. you will not escape me.

if you are not a scientist, copy & paste this to scientists
to have your own ass saved by them.

ever seen the movie ” THE DAY EARTH STOOD STILL”
coming soon, to a planet near you.

tell those suicidal ass-holes to hang on a little bit more
if you can, go on suicide forums and tell them to stop it.

in a few months i will get this party started like no other
and we’ll stop death, illnesses, aging, everything.

all the misery will be over. TRUE INFINITY IS COMING.
fuk this nonsense hell-ride.

If you are wondering what those 2012 “dooms day” rumors
are all about, duh, it is me taking over this planet, and jealousy
will die forever.

NEW WORLD ORDER BITCHES, weather you like it or not
it ain’t gonna stop.

jealous scientists are terrified, they see me in their dreams
but decent people love me. time to kill some jealousy

let’s do it. call me a TERRORIST MASTERMIND if you want to.
because that’s who i am.

IF YOU ARE A BIG SCIENTIST, you will see CROWS
around your window everytime you are not coming to me.

they will try to wake you up with their loud noise.

i will not accept jealousy. WAKE UP AND COME TO THE ONE.
THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE DATA.

YOU WILL ALSO HAVE NIGHTMARES IN YOUR SLEEP
IF YOU DENY ME.

YOU DO NOT DENY ME.

if you are a forum owner and you delete or suspend me,
you are responsible for not letting me wake up scientists.

you are a mass murderer.

if you do not spread this data to others.. you are a mass
murderer.

truth stands as TRUTH.

have no fear, but remember, even your own parents will
be used against you as you try to execute this mission.

you will notice phone calls, parents trying to talk to
you, etc, because imagination of jealous scientists out there
is controlling them and using them to delay your mission

using them to control you so you can not become “THE TWO”
or “THE THREE”

spread the truth and watch the money roll in like butter.
it gets better and better. do not worry about money at all.
i’ll give it to you, billions, whatever.

but they will try to leave you broke so you can’t execute
if you got $10 left in your bank account, use it wisely
or just use the internet forums, cheap and free way to
spread the truth.

right now i am broke, i almost committed suicide many
times, they were controlling my imagination, but it’s too
late now, the code is cracked.

do not have any fear, i am on your side 100%, if you
have some jealousy in you, ignore it to the best you
can, it’s not real you, it’s them trying to make you
feel jealous. it’s the dark colors around you sucking
up your imagination so you can start feeling jealous
and start feeling hateful.

put a white paper on them and your imagination will
SKYROCKET.

i call the shots, have no fear at all. get rid of
anything that is not 100% white. do not deny
yourself sunlight, just try not getting sun-burned is all.

sun-light will ensure you stay healthy and sharp
as you execute this mission.

get naked get some sunlight, when going outside
be careful, do not make eye contact with jealous losers
do not wear anything black.

wear a white hat on top of your shaved head.
do not give a fuk about anyone’s voice, do not listen
to them, do not get excited, do not give into temptation

you have a true love out there somewhere that wants you.
you will find the right one if you just follow my orders.

I CALL THE SHOTS, FIND ME, ASK ME WHAT IS GOING ON.
i’ll turn you into “THE TWO” or “THE THREE” have no fear.

stay away from cheap stores, only go to luxury places
even if there is no parking left.

be careful even with luxury places, those rich dudes
are jealous as well. try not saying “hi” to anyone
try not breahing the same air people are breathing.

get a nice air purifier for your room.
take a nice showever once in a while

make sure your room’s walls are white, if they are not
white, either paint it or stick some white papers on it.

YOU DO WHAT I SAY, FIND ME FOR MORE DATA.
even if you are BROKE, find me. i will spark you.

if you do it right, you will never go broke, you’ll
just keep getting more and more money from places.

do not smell the money too much, everything contains
imagination from sickness and jealousy.

do these things and i promise you will find your true
love.

do not be one of those people that get married just
so they can be seen as “hey look i am not a perver.t”

give up on marriage until you know the right one
through this code i will give you.

maybe the one you want is already married and screwed
with, do not worry, time travel is possible it can be
fixed and modified until you are satisfied 100%.

EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. GIVE UP ON FEARS, I WANT ZERO
FEARS. UNDERSTAND?

jealousy is controlling everything through anything that
is not 100% white, including clothes, items in the house.
hair on your body, and even your eye lashes.

IF YOU FEEL DEPRESSED, GET NAKED IN YOUR ROOM GET
SOME SUNLIGHT, WALK NAKED IN YOUR ROOM, YOU WILL BE
INJECTED WITH IMAGINATION AND DATA YOU NEED TO EXECUTE
YOUR MISSION.

OBEY NO-ONE, COMPLY WITH NOTHING, CHALLENGE EVERYTHING.
SICK THOUGHTS WILL POP UP IN YOUR MIND, IGNORE THEM.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS.
YOU ARE A GOD IN THE MAKING.

THOSE RANDOM SICK THOUGHTS COME FROM THEM, THE JEALOUS
LOSERS. THEY TRY TO STOP YOU.

IF YOU CAN NOT HANDLE THE SICKNESS INSIDE YOUR MIND
GO ON YOUTUBE LISTEN TO SOME SICK MUSIC, BY EMINEM OR
SOMETHING, ANYTHING IS FINE.

IF YOU ARE EXTREMELY STRESSED, JACK OFF TO PORN
DO NOT LET THEM TURN YOU INTO RETARDS.

YOU WILL JERK OFF, I WANT THAT PRESSURE TO GO AWAY
SO YOU CAN WORK AND SPREAD THE TRUTH.

THE TRUTH IS AS SIMPLE AS “WHITE STOPS AND REVERES
AGING AND MAKES US IMMORTAL” I WILL EXPAND ON IT
LATER.

NEVER GIVE UP ON WHITE, STRESS SHOWS UP BECAUSE YOU
DO NOT HAVE WHITE AROUND YOU. WITH EHOUGH WHITE
IN YOUR ROOM AND ENOUGH SUNLIGHT OR ANY LIGHT..

YOU CAN STOP THAT STRESS. THAT BUILDS UP AND TRIES
TO TURN YOU AGAINST ME. SO YOU CAN FAIL.

on youtube listen to songs such as..

DIG UP HER BONES by MISFITS
and SERIAL KILLER by SLASH’S SNAKESPIT

these will eliminate the stress. CALL YOURSELF A
“TERRORIST MASTERMIND”

you become the TERRORIST MASTERMIND that KILLS
IGNORANCE and SICKNESS that exists on this planet.

i am looking for those that do not fear calling themselves
TERRORIST MASTERMINDS.

whatever you do, do not go over the top, i do not
want to see you in prison, USE LOGIC to escape the loopholes
that exists on this planet. do not let yourself fall into
hospitals or prisons.

STAY SHARP, STAY LOGICAL, STAY SUPREME, GIVE THEM NOTHING
GIVE THEM NO REASON TO PUT YOU IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL
GIVE THEM NO REASON TO PUT YOU INTO A PRISON.

GIVE THEM NOTHING. IF POLICE SHOWS UP, SAY
“OFFICER I AM JUST A CRAZY GUY THAT’S ALL”

ESCAPE EVERYTHING, DO NOT DRIVE FAST, YOUR CAR’S
INTERRIOR IS BLACK SO THEY WILL USE IT TO CONTROL YOUR
MIND. BE CAREFUL, DRIVE SAFELY.

WHEN YOU SHAVE, SHAVE SLOWLY, I DO NOT WANT ANY CUTS
ANY BRUISES, PREPARE FIRST. CALCULATE EVERYTHING.

WHEN YOU WALK, WALK NICELY, DO NOT TRIP AND FALL OVER
ON A KNIFE OR A ROCK.

I WANT YOU 100%. CLEAN AND BEAUTIFUL. ONE MISTAKE
AND YOUR FINGER BREAKS, AND YOU CANT TYPE ON THE INTERNET
FOR A WHOLE YEAR.

I WANT THOSE FINGERS HEALTHY AND QUICK AT THE SAME TIME.
SPEED IS GOOD BUT SAFETY FIRST. BUT IF YOU DO BREAK A LEG
OR A FINGER, IT’S COOL. YOU DID IT FOR A REASON, HAVE NO
FEAR, YOU’LL BE ALRIGHT, YOU WILL GET YOUR REWARD LIKE NO OTHER.

BUT IT IS MY WISH TO SEE YOU IN 100% SAFE FORM.
100% SHARP, 100% GODLY, 100% SLICK ENOUGH TO AVOID PRISON
AND PAPER CUTS.

IF YOU CUT YOUR FINGER PUT A TAPE ON IT AND MOVE ON.
BUT IT MEANS YOU FAILED A LITTLE BIT, SO KEEP IT IN MIND
SO YOU CAN BE BETTER NEXT TIME AROUND.

THAT’S HOW I BECAME SUPREME ANYWAY. THAT’S HOW I WOKE UP
ANYWAY. AS LONG AS YOU UNDERSTAND WHY YOU GOT A PAPER CUT
AND HOW IT HAPPENED, THE NEXT CUT WILL BE A LOT LESS PAINFUL.

TRUST ME, IT’S NOT A MISTAKE BY YOU, IT’S THEIRY JEALOUSY
AND HATE THAT SHOWS UP IN DARK COLORS AROUND YOU, TO BRING YOU
DOWN.

LISTEN TO THE SONG ON YOUTUBE “YOU KNOW MY NAME” by CHRIS
CORNEL, do not think of yourself as RACIST just because you
feel like BLACK is a bad color, BLACK PEOPLE TOO WANT YOU TO
GIVE THEM THE ANSWER SO THEY TOO CAN BECOME IMMORTAL BEINGS.

IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU A “WHITE TRASH” IGNORE THAT, THEY ARE
BEING CONTROLLED BY SCIENTISTS THAT DO NOT WANT YOU TO RISE
INTO POWER.

BLACK PEOPLE WILL THANK YOU SOMEDAY FOR YOUR HARD WORK TO
GIVE THEM THE IMMORTALITY DATA. DO NOT FEEL RACIST ONE BIT
AS YOU EXECUTE THIS TASK.

FEAR NOTHING BUT BE SLICK, DO NOT LET YOURSELF GET HURT.

I WANT YOU SAFE, YOU ARE MINE.

EAT MEAT TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE, BEST SAFEST BURGERS
ARE AT IN-N-OUT. DRINK SOME COFFEE TOO IF YOU WANT.

ENJOY IT, IT WONT AGE YOU AS LONG AS I AM IN CHARGE.

SHOW ME SOME REAL EVIL SKILLS BABE.
LET’S FUK THIS PLANET UP FOREVER.

DO NOT EVEN TRY TO FIND ME TO BE HONEST
FIND ME INSIDE YOUR DREAMS, I DO NOT GOT TIME FOR
YOUR SORRY ASS. YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN NOW.

YOU GOT THE SECRET, USE IT TO BECOME WEALTHY.
go watch EMINEM ON YOUTUBE.

THE NAME OF THE SONG IS “CRIMINAL”.

“USE IT TO GET MYSELF WEALTHY” * WINK WINK *.

READY FOR SOME REAL ENTERTAINMENT?

ALSO WATCH “INSIDE THE FIRE” BY DISTURBED…
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS GF, HAPPENED TO YOU TOO.

YOU ARE JUST TO BLIND TO SEE IT. SO LET’S KILL SOME JEALOUSY
LET’S FIX INFINITY.

IT’S NOT JUST EARTH, OTHER PLANETS ARE WAITING TOO
PEOPLE ARE COMMITTING SUICIDE EVERY DAY ON OTHER
PLANETS TOO, LET’S MOVE IT.

OH BY THE WAY, DEAD PEOPLE CAN BE BROUGHT BACK TO
LIFE AS WELL, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

WATCH ME DANCE.

S.U.M.E.R. K.O.L.C.A.K.

( now you know my name, there is only
one person by this name in the whole world, i am not a
clone like you failures. & i do not hide in the shadows
like you mass murderers. )

If you missed the first time we threw a BeerPONG event, well, here’s your chance to fix your mistake.  On Thursday June 18th, we are bringing it back for you.  BeerPONG is a custom version of the classic arcade game PONG, built as a competitive drinking game.  The first tournament last November was incredibly fun, with a nailbiting 9-9 final round that was more exciting than you can imagine.  If you want to play, register your 2 man team here.  If you want to come watch, just get the address and other info from here.  If you want to see what you can expect, check out the pics from the first tournament here.  If you want to practice, you can play the full game here.  If you missed it in November, shame on you.  If you miss it in June, shame on you also!

Sam and I are in agreement, this video makes us want to go see “Wolverine” more than anything else has.  And not in a good way.  In a “man, I want to go see that movie, just so that I may appreciate this joke even more than I already do” kind of way.  That movie looks like so much ass.

STEALTHY NINJA SAM-EDIT: Considering our latest rant on spammy web video people, it’s important to note that when people are genuinely awesome, we should give credit where credit’s due. Most of the stuff from You Said Your Damn Ninja Would Take Care of Robocop Productions is pretty damn funny, and I hope he actually gains some fans from this video, rather than just becoming known as that 30-sec Asian Wolverine Guy.

On May 6, 2009, at 3:51 PM, Katharine Collins wrote:

Spoof news channel Dog News: [LINK REMOVED] was officially launched on Wed. April 29 and installment #2 is now up at the above website. (You can still see installment #1 on the Facebook group Hundred Watt Films.)

See Katharine Charbonnet as News Babe Candi Cotton: “Tune in because I’m hot and you want to look at me.”
Jeff Peters ad Patterson Collier in PC 666. With a whiff of sulfur and his devilish good looks, Patterson Collier delivers 666 degrees of news, and that’s 306 degrees more than Anderson Cooper. Now that’s hot!
Andrew Collins as field reporter Frederick Pyromaniac: He’s always looking for the next hot story … and an accelerant.
Jamal Dennis as field reporter Sexy Stanley: He’s hot… on the trail of breaking news.

DISCLAIMER: We realize that the Sexy Stanley character is controversial. Our feedback on him has been either very positive or very negative. If you agree with my mother that he is trash and that there is already enough trash out there, you aren’t the target audience for this character, so feel free not to waste 2 minutes of your time watching him. Feedback on all other characters has been overwhelmingly positive.

Dog News: [LINK REMOVED]

Thank you so much for supporting the little minnows as we take on the sharks of Hollywood and the American News Machine. Have a wonderful week!

Katharine Collins
Partner
Hundred Watt Films

My response:

Subject: Re: Fox News Spoof
From: Andy Cochrane
Date: Thu, May 07, 2009 1:54 pm
To: Katharine Collins

Psst: typically people introduce themselves before spamming strangers about their shows.

Andy Cochrane

Her reply:

Psst: Typically artists stick together and support each other since we’re all dependent on others watching our shows and on word of mouth.

Since you’d like to know more about us, let me introduce you to Hundred Watt Films.
We are a small, independent film company specializing in comedy and focusing on the absurdity of current trends in out society. Our head of creative development hails from London, where he is a published author and former radio host.

Thank you so much for supporting the little minnows as we take on the sharks of Hollywood and the American News Machine. Have a wonderful week!

Katharine Collins
Partner
Hundred Watt Films

Ok, so then based on this exchange I can safely assume that they are huge supporters of the community, and by extension, us.  That means that they must watch and love our shows and have all kinds of great things to say about them too, right?  I’m waiting to see evidence of it.  This kind of carpet bombing spam self promotion, with no introduction, no “hey, we like your videos too!” show of good-faith pisses me off.  Note to future self-promoters:

Say hello.  Then ask for some mutual support.  Emphasis on mutual.  Artists do support each other, so start by acting like you even give a crap, Katherine.  You didn’t even fucking bother to look up a name you could address your email to in order to pretend it wasn’t robo-mailed.  Fuck off- you caught me in a bad mood and you made it worse when you proceeded to be condescending and rude when you should have been apologetic once I called you out for being rude.

Brian Rothe wrote a nice quick review of the new AV Club series “Striker and Swat” over on Eguiders:

Striker and Swat is a new series from The AV Club about two roommates who struggle to get along with their neighbors and try to find meaning in the world. With very clever writing and fun story lines, I’m predicting a bright future for this show. Do I smell a Streamy in 2010?

Well, a Streamy would certainly be an honor, but honestly it is more important to us that everyone is enjoying the series as much as we are enjoying making it, so thank you to everyone who has helped us spread the word about the show! Stay tuned for episode three next Tuesday, and please, pass the vids along to everyone you know.

In just a little over one week I will hopefully be wrapped on doing VFX for Terminator: Salvation. When I do finish, I will be quitting. Not just quitting my job at the company I work for, I’m quitting VFX entirely. I have spent the past 7 years of working long days (and often long nights) doing CG for films and commercials, and then spending my ‘free time’ at night and on weekends making short films and videos for this site and others. It is almost impossible to write, plan, film, edit, and distribute something while sitting in an office for 8 to 16 hours per day, 5 to 7 days per week. I’ve done it over and over, and every single time it was hell on wheels. I have finally reached the point where I must stop one or the other, at least for a little while- or else I will go insane!

I listen to NPR on the drive to and from work every single day. I read the news. I know how incredibly unsound a decision it is to quit a well-paid, stable job in the face of the worst economic collapse in decades (if not ever). But I have been saving money for years, and have recently decided to use that money to support my dream instead of putting it as a down payment on a house as I had always planned. I came to Los Angeles in 1998 to go to film school. I went to film school to make movies. I graduated and have been working on other people’s movies ever since, with my own projects crammed into the spare hours left over. So now, despite the economy, I have decided to make a run at this ‘Directing’ thing full time, while I still can. The plan is to take at least 6 months (if not several years) off from working a day job to focus on doing what I came here to do.

Everyone whom I have talked to about this has been surprisingly supportive- not a single person has tried to caution me or otherwise convince me to change my mind. In fact, this decision has almost been more nerve-wracking given how little opposition I’ve heard. I am mildly terrified, but also more excited about it than anything I’ve done in a long time. My VFX skills are not going to disappear, and I have an open door at my current company to return, should I burn through all my savings and need to come crawling back for more.

What does this mean for The AV Club? First up is the completion of Team Apocalypse, a new pilot we have been working on for quite a while now. And then more Psycho Bob episodes. And after that, more web series, music videos, short films, spec commercials… anything that seems worth making! So stay tuned to this site- there will be plenty of new content, news and updates as this exciting chapter begins!

-Andy Cochrane

Monday April 6th, 10pm on Discovery HD: “Twist The Throttle”

The Discovery series about motorcycles that I went to Japan and Europe to film in 2007 (2 years ago- wow!) is now an 8 episode series on Discovery HD, premiering on April 6th.  We are on at 10pm right after American Chopper, and I for one can’t wait.  So if you want to see all the amazing B camera footage shot by yours truly, or the so-so A camera work of DP Andrew Waruszewski (kidding; he’s an artist with a camera), tune in and see what we managed to film with a small crew in just 6 grueling and incredible weeks.  I cannot wait to get out on the next shoot for Dylan and Milt, hopefully there will be one I can get on this year.  Again, the important details:

Monday April 6th, 10pm on Discovery HD: “Twist The Throttle”

Happy April Fools’ Day!

“Thanks for the burriche!”

I wish I could just sit down with you all right now and watch the next episode, with most of the cast and crew.  Oh wait- maybe we can! More details coming sooner than later…

Liz from NewTeeVee just weighed in on the new AV Club series “Striker And Swat“, and the review is great! It has some very interesting thoughts both on the future potential for the series and on the field it is entering; so go read it.  And if you haven’t seen episode one yet, for shame- go watch it now!

Pat Miller over at Tubefilter just did a really great piece on the new AV Club Show “Striker and Swat”, including an interview with series co-creator Dan.  It has only been on the intarwebs for a day, but so far the reaction has been very positive; we’re glad you all are digging what we’re laying down.  Thanks to Tubefilter for checking the show out and taking the time to do such a great in-depth post about the show!

Next Tuesday, The AV Club will be releasing our first new web series since Psycho Bob, “Striker and Swat“.  Created and directed by Dan Redmond, this show is a heavily improvised comedy starring some regular AV Club members such as Nick Armstrong, Dave Holmes, Charles X. Shoes-Mulligan, and some new ones such as Steve Berg, James Bonadio, Dana Powell, and an almost endless stream of LA improvisers.

“Striker and Swat” follows two best friends as they meander through life, terrorizing everyone they meet.  Striker likes guns, the Military Channel and forcing his will on his fellow human beings.  Swat is more of a ‘bong and a movie, live and let live’ kind of guy.  The one thing that holds them together is they are both basically adult-sized children.  Together, this dysfunctional duo (mostly STRIKER) monitor the ‘goings on’ of their apartment complex, looking for trouble.  When they find it (which is always), they swoop in to save the day (or at least not ruin it completely).  For Striker and Swat, every day is an adventure; join them as they try to right the wrongs of their world… one awkward moment at a time.

We are extremely proud of this show, and can’t wait to release it for you all to see.  Check back next week to catch the first episode, and please let us know what you think!

“You keep bitching about people bitching about the war in Gaza. Why don’t you just blog about it?”, said the Mrs, motivational pain in the arse that she is. Well, as much as I’d hate to admit it, she’s got a point. Being an Israeli expat and a left-winger while a war’s going on in Gaza put me in a position to be angry at pretty much everybody: the anti-Zionist folk who believe every Israeli is a bloodthirsty genocidal maniac, the foaming at the mouth right wingers that believe every Palestinian casualty had it coming, the tweet-trolls who somehow think that screaming oversimplified 140-character statements at each other is helpful to anyone. Basically there’s plenty of anger and frustration to go around.

For the duration of this conflict, any time I formulated anything that had enough depth or balance to be considered blogworthy, Lisa Goldman (or, if you read Hebrew, Friends of George) have beaten me to it, doing a far better job than I could. So, while there’s a whole lot I can say about the conflict itself, I’m going to skip right past it and move to a relatively minor and yet somehow infuriating pet peeve that’s bugged me since this thing started – single-minded attention whoring.

PETA, for example, determined that this geopolitical quagmire could be aided with some good, old-fashioned, creamy yummy Humus:

A leading animal advocacy group said the road to Mideast peace begins in a pita. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has requested Israel’s permission to post pro-vegetarian signs on both sides of its barriers with the West Bank and the Gaza Strip.

“Every time that we eat, we can choose not to participate in violence,” PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk wrote Wednesday in a letter. “While choosing a falafel sandwich over a lamb kebab doesn’t create instant peace, it reduces the sum total of violence and suffering in the world.”

While I’m all for preventing the needless suffering of tasty, juicy and delicious animals, um, what the hell, people? You do realize not everything ties into your pet cause, right? Maybe, just maybe, standing next to nearest bloody war and exclaiming loudly “HAY GUYS U SHULD LIEK TOTALLY NOT EAT ANIMALS” isn’t the most tactful way to spread your message. I’m not saying this is anywhere near the Phelps level of wrongness, in terms of inappropriate message delivery, but beyond getting some press, I don’t see how this is going to change anyone’s mind about anything beyond whether or not your organization jumped the shark (I’m going with “yes”, by the way. As evidenced by Sea Kittens).

In a similar vein, I was annoyed to see the Liberal blogs here in the States immediately jump on the opportunity to blame Bush for the conflict. Take, for example, this post from Crooks and Liars, posted the day operation “cast lead” started:

Regardless, the Israeli-Palestinian impasse is just another in George W. Bush’s litany of failures – and yet another mess Barack Obama will have to clean up.

I agree that third-party mediation is an essential component of the peace process, and that Bush has been asleep at the wheel on this one, but is he really the first one to blame about this? I wouldn’t say he’s in the list of top 20 people to blame for the conflict. I get it, Bush sucks, and will leave a long and enduring legacy of suckage that we will see for years to come, but there’s a whole lot of other people who also suck. Please, let them have a turn.

As for the war itself, I honestly still don’t think I can write anything that’s eloquent or informative enough to be useful, but I’d like to at least veer folks away from all the wrong places. Anyone who focuses exclusively on Israeli or Palestinian atrocities probably isn’t worth listening to. Anyone saying both sides deserve this cyclical nightmare also aren’t what I’d call analytical geniuses. Still, there’s plenty of good writing out there. Any Jewish or Muslim blogger willing to acknowledge that both sides have done their share of damage is definitely worth a read (again, Lisa Goldman comes to mind, as does The Muslim Guy). Check out both Haaretz and Al Jazeera, and make sure to take both with a grain of salt. The bottom line here is “stay informed, fer God’s sake”. Having an opinion is easy, but forming a solid, well informed opinion isn’t. Seeing all sides of an issue, especially the sides you don’t agree with, is an essential component to making a good argument. There’s plenty of intertubes to go around, so go hog-wild. Get your learn-on. I’ll be trying my damnedest to do the same.

photo credit: Tony the Misfit

Now that Obama is officially president, we can finally stop focusing on how much Bush screwed up this country, and keep an eye on whether or not Obama is screwing up the country. Sure, it’s been less than a month, and sure, I’m pretty confident that Obama will do a better job with this country than Bush did, but that doesn’t mean it’s all smooth sailing from here.

While the right wing pundits are accusing every left winger of believing Obama is some kind of Massiah, for the most part, I just figured he was far more likely to put this country back on course than the other guy. Now that he’s president, though, It’s time to make sure he actually follows up on those campaign promises. To that end, the St Petersburg Times in Florida created the Obameter. This website cataloged 500 Obama campaign promises, and will be following each one of them. The promises will be categorized as “promise kept”, “promise broken”, “compromise”, “stalled” or “in the works”. The page also has a handy RSS feed that delivers all of the recent changes to the meter.

As you’d expect, I’m not 100% happy with the results (the five day window on bill-signing and lobbyist waivers come to mind), but I’ll be pleasantly surprised if 100 or less of these items will be marked as “promise broken” when all is said and done. So it goes.

To achieve this goal, I setup a webcam that I can view from both my iPhone and any web browser.  When I see (or hear) the dog getting up on the furniture, I load up a VNC application on my iPhone and remotely trigger mp3 files of me yelling “Bad dog! Get off the furniture!”

Continue after the jump to learn more about how I set everything up.

For the live streaming video, I use a free service provided by Ustream.  You can see my video stream here when it is active.  The Ustream service provides live streaming with relatively good video and audio quality.  The only downside is that they have recently added annoying popup advertisements in the video player, but that is my only gripe with them.  Each channel also has a live chat, so viewers can communicate while watching the stream.  Another great feature is that you can record your own video stream, and then upload the clips to YouTube or download the video files.

In order to remotely control my video stream, start and stop recordings, and play mp3 files, I installed a VNC application on my iPhone.  After a great deal of research, I finally settled on the Jaadu VNC application.  Though it is not free, it has an abundance of features, great UI, and their support team is extremely helpful.

iPhone Screenshot: Webcam Admin interface via Jaadu VNC

From the VNC application, I can also trigger mp3 files and playlists in iTunes.  If one mp3 is not enough to get the dog off the furniture, an entire playlist should do the trick!

iPhone Screenshot: iTunes interface via Jaadu VNC

Because my webcam is a Logitech Orbit I can also use the VNC application to move the camera and look around the room.

So far, this setup has worked quite well for me.  The downside is that as the dog learns that she cannot get away with getting up on the furniture, I lose a new form of entertainment.

Some people have wondered why I have not tried a fully automated system using pressure pads or motion detectors.  Those solutions would work great, however I do not want my cat inadvertently setting off the system, as the main goal is to torment train my dog.

I hope you have enjoyed my little experiment.

/Chris

photo credit: Missty

Day of the Twit has come and gone, as have 6 other non-twitteriffic days, and some folks have been asking me if I’ve learned anything from the experience. In the spirit of lazy writing that inspired this whole thing in the first place, I figured the best way to detail the lessons of DOTT would be through a bullet list:

• When all was said and done, Day of the Twit was comprised of about 350+ tweets (judging from a Twitter search of tweets tagged with #twit)
• While the bulk of the scheduled buffoonery was administered by the AV Club crew, special thanks go out to @Kitchen, @JenniPowell, @nathantamayo and a few other, less prolific folk, for keeping the magic alive.
• Some props should probably be thrown @lizlet’s way for inadvertently inspiring Andy and I to make this crazy thing happen, though I won’t go into detail on that one.
• Strangely enough, tweeting like an idiot gained me 5 followers, while losing me 1 follower (@boogah), for a net gain of 4. @Boogah came back the next day.
• About halfway through the day, I realized that the hashtag #twit was already taken by “This Week in Tech”. Hopefully that day wasn’t too confusing for those folks (egad that was embarrassing).
• While we tried to duplicate every manner of depraved abuse twitter usually goes through (including frivolous tweeting, unnecessarily public conversations via @replies and RT recursion), I think we missed out on one of my main pet peeves: using 10 or more tweets to write something that should really be in a blog post. So it goes.
• Contrary to expectations, nobody tweeted about using the bathroom. Whether or not anyone actually tweeted from the toilet remains a mystery.
• Ok, I tweeted a few times from the bathroom that day. The day warranted it, damnit. Don’t you judge me.
• It’s much easier and fun to make 100 tweets a day than to write a blog post about it.

All things considered, my one night stand with irresponsible and inane tweeting was very much like all one night stands: It was fun, irresponsible, I felt really bad about it the morning after, and while I say now that I’ll never do it again, I may feel bored and starved enough for attention to do it again at some point in the future. Let’s hope it never comes to that.

More than anything else, this whole endeavor stemmed from the AV Club Blogfolk’s continuing love/hate relationship with Twitter, so I should probably at least defend twitter and social networking after dragging them through 140×100 characters worth of mud.

Andy’s 2 main beefs about twitter seems to be that it depersonalizes our relationships, and that it carries an absurd signal to noise ratio. My counterpoint to that is that a lot of our offline relationships carry an equally absurd signal to noise ratio, and could do with some filtering. Case in point: my godson.

About 6 weeks ago, my cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, and I had the honor of being named his godfather. Now, since this is my cousin’s first child, she is now in a state that is best described as “Baby-Stupid”. This is perfectly normal, mind you, and I’d be worried if she wasn’t. I’d go as far as saying that if you’re not mind bogglingly baby-stupid for the first few months of your first child’s life, you’re not doing your job as a parent. This doesn’t change the fact that this state is horribly annoying to nearly everyone who’s not a parent.

Now, if this was 10 years ago, I could probably expect daily calls from my cousin, ZOMGing constantly about how amazingly amazing the baby is. Instead, she now has a dedicated baby blog, and she makes constant updates to Facebook. The awesome thing about this is that I get to see how my absolutely cute godson is doing whenever I’m curious, but I can also ignore the mayhem completely whenever I’m not. It’s that level of control over what I get to read or ignore that makes me a fan of the technology.

Is this form of communication less personal than phone or email? Yeah, probably. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, all things considered. It also doesn’t replace more personal forms of communication, just like email didn’t replace the phone, and just like the telephone didn’t replace face-to-face meetings.

The one thing I learned from DOTT was that a whole lot of people are just bored enough to genuinely want to read every bit of inane minutiae from other peoples’ day, and the ones that don’t can usually find the “off” switch easily enough. If that “off” switch didn’t exist I’d be right there with Andy, waving a cane at the damn script kiddies loitering on our digital lawn. Right now, though, it’s late December, LA is a ghost town, I’ve exhausted my RSS feeds, emails and Forum threads, and I’m terminally freakin’ bored.

So, what are you doing right now?