tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35721293737766708122026-05-29T15:11:09.303-05:00The BayouGATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.comBlogger2763125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-68357929681104963452010-04-15T13:22:00.001-05:002010-04-15T14:22:58.210-05:00Some parishioners not big fans of Jesus's absThe world is chock full of bad art. This weekend, we'll be showcasing examples from right here in Southeast Texas. Yeah, yeah we know: you can't wait. Until then, enjoy this (or not).Up in Oklahoma, there's some poorly rendered art hanging above the alter of the St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church. It's your standard issue picture of Jesus on the crucifix with what appears to be a sad sack GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-81363522603973835622010-04-15T10:57:00.007-05:002010-04-15T11:56:11.507-05:00Beaumont's (ha!) David Bradley owes EVERYONE $1,000Our very own Mr. Literal, David Bradley, made an ingenious bet. One that he'll NEVER, EVER have to pay. Bradley boasted that he'd give $1,000 to anyone who could find the words "separation of church and state" in the U.S. Constitution.Go ahead, look. We'll wait.Satisfied? Those EXACT words are no where to be found. They are, however, intrinsically linked to the document. In 1802, Thomas JeffersonGATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-77209612681412931372010-04-15T00:08:00.004-05:002010-04-15T05:55:52.822-05:00Daybreaker from Lake Sam: Fish or make bailThe world's largest fishing tournament kicks off this weekend up at Lake Sam Rayburn.The McDonald's Big Bass Splash will have anglers competing for more than a half-million dollars in cash and prizes. The winner alone will take home roughly $250K in goodies -- so it pays to bring your game face.Or, if your like Robby Rose, a little lead might do the trick.Rose took home the grand prize in GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-15020330559056783082010-04-14T11:20:00.008-05:002010-04-14T15:06:11.342-05:00Is this a joke? The Carrol Thomas Athletic Complex?This reads like an Onion article. So we will simply post it and let you, dear reader, laugh until you cough up your new KFC "Double Down." This can't POSSIBLY be true. No way. Oh, FOX4, how hilarious! We're sorry we ever teased you. Not really. This is the greatest April Fool's Day joke not done on April Fool's Day since the Taco Liberty Bell. Good stuff. Oh. So. Funny. Our side hurts."The GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com62tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-84494017775187748482010-04-14T10:47:00.007-05:002010-04-14T11:35:12.157-05:00Count 'em: Jay Bruce creatively explains how many hits he has this yearWe like West Brook grad and Cincinnati Red Jay Bruce more and more each day.After belting a 2nd inning double during Monday night's game against the Marlins, Bruce forgot he was on the tevee, hoisting up the ol' "double barrel" salute towards the Reds dugout. Coincidentally, that hit broke an 0-17 slump Bruce was mired in to start the season.For the unabridged photo, bang it here.Bruce later GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-21930228204116903802010-04-14T00:06:00.008-05:002010-04-14T05:45:44.375-05:00Daybreaker: Coming soon to Beaumont bumpers near you......will be this sticker, the newest "must have" auto accoutrement of the season. And yes, BISD really DOES spell fraud. Spelling is not really the districts strong suit. The "Good Friday Massacre" seems to have invigorated the once stalled BISD/citizen petition drive. Like any cataclysmic event, the victims are wading through their seven stages. They seem to be stuck on anger -- ousting "Doc" GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-44310640423738692802010-04-13T13:17:00.011-05:002010-04-13T14:12:17.158-05:00Black n' white: Texas sheriff starts Caucasian Law Enforcement Assoc.Black people have BET, Tyler Perry and the White House. There's affirmative action, NAACP and the Black Congressional Caucus. Hispanics have Univision, Jennifer Lopez and La Raza. White people have PLENTY, including the newly christened Harris County sheriff's chapter of the Caucasian Law Enforcement Association."Daniel McCool says his organization is open to members of any race or ethnicity. GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-27965350519854568482010-04-13T11:53:00.001-05:002010-04-13T12:41:30.284-05:00Bayou video of the day: Cops tases another cop...for funWhen bored, cops tase each other. See video of Florida law enforcement in their native habitat."Cpl. Wilmer A. Arencibia entered the housing area of the Collier County jail’s medical unit and was approached by a female deputy who read a message off her iPod to him, according to a recently released internal investigation. Arencibia reached for his agency-issued Taser, and chased the female deputy.GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-5161678273400037892010-04-13T10:35:00.001-05:002010-04-13T10:37:35.104-05:00The only answer you'll ever need to know: 'Cause Texas kicks a**From the BAYOU "Hard Questions Only Texans Can Answer" Department:Bastion of Liberal thinking, Mother Jones, poses an interesting question: how did Texas escape the housing bubble?This article posits all sorts of fun theories. For example, might it have been the Texas rule that prohibits homeowners from taking out home equity loans that total more than 80% of a home's appraised value?NoHow about GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-51218144738599377122010-04-13T00:04:00.009-05:002010-04-13T00:04:00.678-05:00Daybreaker: History happened this weekend in NederlandWe had no idea. Not until BAYOU reader, Tom, alerted us to history in action.For most of Southeast Texas, Saturday, April 10th was an uneventful day. You washed the Chevy, did a few Jell-O shots and tried to splice your neighbor's cable hook up...again. The usual.Not so in the annals of history. This date will be revered as the moment the independent nation of Texasasstan established it's capitalGATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-10276311547346661492010-04-12T12:49:00.009-05:002010-04-12T15:41:25.901-05:00Oh PETA: An exclusive look at that bloodied elephant coming to BeaumontOh goodie, PETA is coming back to Beaumont. We missed 'em. Back in early '09, they had some girl shower naked down on Crockett. She was kinda, sorta nekkid. If you count wearing clothing behind a curtain as "baring all." This will be more of them same. All sizzle, no tofu.This time, the circus is EVIL! So we want to ruin it for all children (and KILL it FOREVER). They claim to be bringing along aGATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-75348761761975857342010-04-12T09:58:00.002-05:002010-04-12T10:39:17.338-05:00The End? Southeast Texans are prepared to dieNice knowing y'all, but it's ALL OVER. According to a "highly scientific" sampling of Beaumont Enterprise readers, the world is about to end in 3...2...1...fade to black.As of early Monday morning, 632 had answered the question: "Are we living in the end times?" Of those respondents, 46% (292) said "Hells yes!" We're paraphrasing. Actually you said, "Yes. There have been too many natural GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-88311875673064400702010-04-12T00:02:00.004-05:002010-04-12T05:46:46.812-05:00Daybreaker: Perry, and his NASCAR, to make early Beaumont pitstopFrom the BAYOU "You Already Missed It" files:MONDAY, MONDAY, MONDAY! You got 24-hours notice. That's gotta be good enough for you.Our newest "NASCAR dad," Rick "The Accelerator" Perry, gave us the shaft last month. He was scheduled to do an early morning shake-n-bake at the Elegante. Sadly, there was weather. There's ALWAYS weather. His weak winged paper airplane was unable to traverse the GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-50337999001890589632010-04-11T01:34:00.004-05:002010-04-11T01:34:00.268-05:00SundayDaybreaker: 20% of the globe think aliens live next doorTHEY walk among us. THEY work in our banks, live in our 'hoods and bag our groceries (no wonder). THEY even work at the local Dollar General (makes sense, don't it). THEY wear amazingly lifelike human costumes, allowing THEM to blend in with the rest of us.Who are THEY? Aliens, duh! As far as the guy with the tin foil head gear, we can't vouch for him (or his space age kitty).A new global ReutersGATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-31924217906412518372010-04-10T13:06:00.009-05:002010-04-10T13:20:57.866-05:00Bayou SNEAK PEEK: Lamar's new uniforms!Oh c'mon! Can't we just have a little fun here? For the story behind these shirts, click it.[Click it to big it]To critique the "real" newly unveiled uniforms, furnished by the Under Armour apparel company, you'll have to check out Sunday's paper. We hear they're real swanky.[Enterprise]GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-62002171547979972752010-04-10T00:43:00.009-05:002010-04-10T08:00:57.872-05:00Daybreaker: Newman! Bayou readers saw this comingBack in September, we posted the video of Derrick Newman getting roughed up by alleged baton twirler David Todd Burke. We should have all seen this mistrial coming -- everyone else did.Instead, we thought 13 solid whacks to a mouthy jerkbag who was just spouting off while laying face down on the the backside of a car was excessive. Guess not. One thing is for certain, this mistrial drags on a GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-2097473734372630912010-04-09T16:04:00.002-05:002010-04-09T16:30:02.633-05:00Steal that job: East Texan shows us why everyone is unemployedSo many applicants to choose from, but our CRIMINAL OF THE WEEK comes from up Lufkin way. And why? 'Cause this misguided soul was just trying to do some good when stupid reared its ugly head and got in the way.This woman, you see, applied for a retail position, filled out an application and waited. While she had just nothing to do, she got bored and decided to steal some stuff. Job interview GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-71208253252351486112010-04-09T12:09:00.007-05:002010-04-09T12:30:23.309-05:00Everyday is casual sex day: Study, combined with Beaumont ingenuity, tells us soIt is Spring and all manner of chubby shut-ins are wearing less -- and their thoughts turn to, well, you know. Smart people have needs too, and with the weather comes your annual "sexy sexiness is on the rise study." These wonks tell us that casual sex in America is increasing. Can we get a RIGHT ON?!!?! This is, quite literally, the best news EVER!We did our own "non-scientific" Beaumont-centricGATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-34230373817600028972010-04-09T11:35:00.010-05:002010-04-09T11:51:35.581-05:00Bayou pic of the day: TP'd in the Little Cypress Elementary parking lotIn a few weeks, this minivan will emerge from it's cocoon as a beautiful, fire-engine red Maserati.**[Click on image to enlarge]**Or not (read more at the link below).[picture via KOGT, h/t to j.p.]GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-28014795851411740702010-04-09T10:25:00.003-05:002010-04-09T11:15:07.379-05:00HAPPY TAX FREEDOM DAY!Pay 'em OR end up like this guy.Speaking of this portly East Texas gentleman (pic), let's all take out our frustrations on local mail receptacles. Blowing up things is a great way to celebrate the day and relieve unwanted stress. For the rest of the year, all the money you earn is YOURS!Depends on what you earn. More or less. So confusing, just read the link below. [Tyler paper, Tax Foundation]GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-1941289263544444122010-04-09T00:42:00.004-05:002010-04-09T00:42:00.336-05:00Daybreaker: Let's "power up" Beaumont's budgetLike the ditch in downtown AND the entire state of California, Beaumont's coffers are empty. Let's all freak out! Cut EVERYTHING! Gut all non-essential programs and run for the hills (or, since there are no hills, just dash straight into the Gulf). The Beaumont City Council is thinking about slicing bus routes, privatizing EMS services, closing fire stations or -- GULP! -- taking a few bucks awayGATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-15696980629743232712010-04-08T15:15:00.004-05:002010-04-08T15:31:12.546-05:00Bayou reader comment of the day: Democrats hate Jesus!What a difference a day makes. An Aggie doctor allegedly fires an employee for their political leanings and all heck breaks loose. The intertubes shook under the weight of this message board controversy.The story has since made it all the way to CBS News (their motto: "Message board boasting, Taiwanese kids with bowl cuts that sing Whitney Houston songs -- if it generates hits, we call it news").GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-7694896216514369202010-04-08T09:18:00.004-05:002010-04-08T11:13:02.372-05:00Ain't our fault: Blame Minnesota for Texas-sized rebate mishapDid you try and get in on all of that appliance rebate fun yesterday? If you didn't get through, and odds are it was more difficult than coaxing a smile from Tiger Woods, don't blame Texas. They'd like you to know it ain't their fault.Send your anger north, to Minnesota. That's where the outsourced middle man is located.According to secret, magical documents obtained only by Austin-based KVUE, "GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-60609725736874842162010-04-08T00:23:00.003-05:002010-04-08T00:23:00.740-05:00Daybreaker: Where your South Park concerns go to dieMy what a full multimedia presentation we have for you this morning.Click the PLAY button and Listen. This is the dead-end voicemail box where the district is routing all of your South Park questions and concerns.We love how she pronounces the word "subsequent." Sub-SEE-quant? We'd stop posting about this if if weren't so darn entertaining. This will be all for now. Promise! We'll be moving on toGATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3572129373776670812.post-18684725343864284102010-04-07T13:09:00.000-05:002010-04-07T13:34:02.574-05:00Be true to your school: With tacky Texas vanity platesWe LOVE our school district, but how do we show them that we care? Got it: vanity license plates! Oh, so fantastic. Show school spirit and donate even more of your hard earned cash money.The concept comes from is Austin-based My Plates, authorized by Texas to design and market full-color specialty license plates. The state-issued plate would come with the logo of the district of your choice. GATORhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17738174356570127369noreply@blogger.com6