http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/Sports Humor, Sarcasm, Cynicism, Bad Puns and General GoofinessenThu, 09 Jul 2009 05:09:27 PDTMovable Type Enterprise 1.52 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/noSports Humor, Sarcasm, Cynicism, Bad Puns and General Goofinessthebenchwarmerhttp://feedburner.google.comhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/BT78CEjQBYE/whats_roger_federer_got_to_do.htmlMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressThu, 09 Jul 2009 05:09:27 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3193387 ]]>AP Photo Roger Federer's 15 Grand Slam titles aren't enough to impress one Australian columnist, who points to the tennis star's 7-13 record against Rafael Nadal. Roger Federer won his 15th Grand Slam title at Wimbledon last weekend and has...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/07/whats_roger_federer_got_to_do.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/kxUOqBRUxtc/mens_health_trashes_grand_rapi.htmlFeaturedMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressWed, 08 Jul 2009 07:40:13 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3185509 ]]>The Grand Rapids sports scene doesn't make the grade -- at least according to Men's Health. (Good thing they weren't judging our abs.) According to the magazine dedicated to healthy buns and a healthier sex life, Grand Rapids received an...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/07/mens_health_trashes_grand_rapi.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/4paOMRzws6g/minor_league_baseballs_renegad.htmlBaseballMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressMon, 06 Jul 2009 21:40:18 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3177081 ]]>Minor-league promotions can be a tricky game. Try to peddle a massive calorie-infused burger, and people scream about health issues and obesity. Try to have a Mother's Day giveaway, and you end up giving $500,000 to the kind of knucklehead...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/07/minor_league_baseballs_renegad.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/XFN3e__TA4I/a_belated_thank_you_to_a_falle.htmlMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressMon, 06 Jul 2009 05:03:20 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3169002 ]]>It's inevitable that the older you get, the more death stares you directly in the face. Everyone knows they're mortal, but that doesn't make losses any less shocking. But even with that grim and obvious reality, it never makes things...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/07/a_belated_thank_you_to_a_falle.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/kNmVJfyJJOY/red_wings_lions_at_both_ends_o.htmlFeaturedMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressSat, 04 Jul 2009 21:16:35 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3148929 ]]>AP File PhotosThe Detroit Red Wings are one of the winningest franchises in professional sports and the Lions, well, they're the Lions. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have ... the...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/07/red_wings_lions_at_both_ends_o.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/zkz16xdG2lc/reader_response_cubs_wimbledon.htmlReader responseMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressFri, 03 Jul 2009 05:08:04 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3149573 ]]>Every so often I get backed up with a solid batch of "Reader Response" submissions, and since The Benchwarmer column only runs in print one day a week now (sniffle, sob), I figured now might be a good time to...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/07/reader_response_cubs_wimbledon.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/Tdc7VyOJdBw/sportsmanship_gets_headbutted.htmlMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressThu, 02 Jul 2009 05:15:23 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3141008 ]]>So much for juice boxes, orange slices and sportsmanship. According to the Newark Star-Ledger, a substitute coach from a youth baseball team was arrested for head-butting a rival coach after a game. (Doesn't he know you always go for the...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/07/sportsmanship_gets_headbutted.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/7s3gTf60wPs/shaquille_oneal_seeks_a_horse.htmlNBAMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressWed, 01 Jul 2009 05:13:30 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3137175 ]]>AP File PhotoWould free throws be too tough for Shaquille O'Neal in a game of H-O-R-S-E? Shaquille O'Neal wants to take on the best there is (allegedly) at H-O-R-S-E. Yes, the same Shaquille O'Neal who still is made fun of...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/07/shaquille_oneal_seeks_a_horse.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/mlvOrv0p_3g/benchwarmer_humor_peoples_face.htmlMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressTue, 30 Jun 2009 05:20:20 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3128167 ]]>Sometimes it's the simple things in life that make you smile. This Web site has it all: Balls. People. Balls hitting people in the face....http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/06/benchwarmer_humor_peoples_face.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/_DsRQ9B9nc4/nfl_commish_goodell_to_tackle.htmlMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressMon, 29 Jun 2009 08:26:02 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3123837 ]]>NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will have to work if he hopes to climb to new heights. Before embarking on his plan to climb Mount Rainier next week, Goodell received a bit of advice from an unlikely source -- a sports...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/06/nfl_commish_goodell_to_tackle.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/JbRMEaGMeH8/chad_johnson_turns_to_twitter.htmlNFLMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressSun, 28 Jun 2009 08:52:08 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3117526 ]]>Chris Johnson is all a-Twitter over the prospects for new touchdown celebrations. The Tennessee Titans running back is using the social networking time waster to seek out suggestions because he wants to top the antics of Terrell Owens and Chad...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/06/chad_johnson_turns_to_twitter.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/h8K8COI15UM/bored_try_building_a_styrofoam.htmlMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressFri, 26 Jun 2009 05:12:16 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3103733 ]]>Boredom can cause people to do some crazy things. Example: When I was a kid, I used to take all my baseball cards -- which were meticulously organized in alphabetical order by team and player -- mix them up and...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/06/bored_try_building_a_styrofoam.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/XBtWmQM4RZw/william_mary_the_fighting_aspa.htmlMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressThu, 25 Jun 2009 05:09:05 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3084634 ]]>William & Mary in Virginia doesn't think much of fruit and grains. The college apparently is looking for a mascot, and ideas have ranged from a feathered horse to ... an asparagus stalk? (Celery must not have seemed intimidating enough.)...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/06/william_mary_the_fighting_aspa.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/xFlIcBi-CdI/lane_kiffin_a_marked_man_on_fl.htmlCollege footballMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressWed, 24 Jun 2009 05:40:22 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3084562 ]]>Lane Kiffin We've all heard of "bulletin-board material," that catch-all phrase for sound bites and words opposing teams blurt out to journalists that only serve to motivate the other team. But it's just a cliche, right? Actually, at the University...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/06/lane_kiffin_a_marked_man_on_fl.htmlhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thebenchwarmer/~3/9xPI1X2WBd8/pfister_hotel_haunting_to_flor.htmlBaseballMichael Zuidema | The Grand Rapids PressTue, 23 Jun 2009 05:15:47 PDTtag:blog.mlive.com,2009:/benchwarmer//2338.3072880 ]]>Who you gonna call? If you're the Florida Marlins, it probably should be a Holiday Inn Express. According to the Palm Beach Post, the Marlins' first choice for a good night's sleep, the Pfister Hotel in Milwaukee, failed because it...http://blog.mlive.com/benchwarmer/2009/06/pfister_hotel_haunting_to_flor.htmlnonadult