The Blemish

She who does not belong

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:46:29 +0000

The Black Eyed Peas were inexplicably asked to perform at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show. I’m at a loss to explain why they chose a band with Fergie in it. Maybe it’s like how average girls have fat and ugly friends to make them look pretty by comparison. In this case, Fergie is the ugly friend used to make the Victoria’s Secret models look… is there anything above supermodel? If there is, they would look like that.

Afternoon time wasters

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:10:57 +0000

Brought to you by idiot hockey fans.

Mickey Mouse has sued Donald Duck? [Asylum]
Baron Hilton is powerful! [Celebslam]
Rihanna rocks the Royal Caribbean Cruise ship. [Just Jared]
Miranda Kerr was at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show after party. [MoeJackson]
Boo hoo, Roman Polanski. [IDLYITW]
Toni Braxton talks about swapping spit. [Bossip]
Shakira drops some cleavage. [Popoholic]
Brad Pitt to get some dark void action. [ASL]
Behati Prinsloo’s bra and underwear bike ride. [Hollywood Rag]
Sarah Jessica Parker does Elle. [Yeeeah]
Laura Vandervoort looks like a blond Victoria Beckham. At least her nose does. [Hollywood Tuna]
Alex Trebek visits Ford. [LitelySalted]
Jai Angel is pretty. [CoEd]
J. Lo needs to stop this. [Dlisted]

Jude Law is nice

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:06:38 +0000

Jude Law had the well thought out idea of moving to a place overlooked by NYU’s freshman dorm. Turns out it’s great for the leering students, not so much for Jude. One co-ed, Erica Rose, describes the joy of living next to a Jude Law, “We have the best view on the floor,” she said. “It is exciting to have a celebrity living right next to you. He is really attractive. He’s rugged and scruffy.” In return for their enthusiasm, Law, gracious as he is, even pauses his yoga sessions to welcome gawkers to the neighborhood with a barrage of oranges.

“He noticed we were there and we started waving at him. Then he went inside and came back with two oranges,” freshman Neha Najeeb told The Post. “He threw them at our window, but he missed.” Law then went back inside and returned with two additional oranges, she said.

“This time, he hit the windows — there was orange pulp on the glass for a week — and then he went back to working out,” she said. “Now we don’t like Jude Law anymore.”

As you know, oranges mean good luck in Asian cultures so the NYU students shouldn’t take being pelted with them as a threat. Jude is merely too far away to hand it to them in person. So continue spying on Jude with binoculars or long lenses equipped with night vision. He loves it.

Miley Cyrus tour kills one

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:10:44 +0000

For Disney to maintain Miley Cyrus’ popularity, they need ritual sacrifices. Today they offered one of their own. A driver for one of Miley’s tour buses.

Reports say a 14 passenger bus carrying Miley’s lighting crew that was part of a four vehicle caravan, which Miley Cyrus herself was a part of, flipped killing the driver and injuring 9. Officials say, however, that the driver may have died at the wheel which explains why the bus drifted off the rain soaked highway.

Can anyone stop Disney and their icy, white-gloved hand of death? Who will put an end to this? Who will stand up to this mouse-eared beast before its next offering? Who, I ask?!

Size matters to Rihanna

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:37:53 +0000

German magazine Bravo asked Rihanna what she looked for in a guy besides having a strong pimp hand. Rihanna said the guy has to have a dick so big that it could bludgeon an ox. Not her exact words. She also said something about inner beauty.

Rihanna explains, “He has to be good in bed and the size matters. You know what I mean? The inner beauty counts as well, but without a toy it doesn’t make it fun. Right now I don’t want to have a serious relationship, I want to have fun. I love flirting at the moment. I’m single and I’m enjoying my freedom. But I don’t give my phone number out that often. But if I’m dating, I check the boy from the top to the bottom.”

You and me both, sista! Wait, no! Aww crap.

Megan Fox spreads them for The New York Times

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:28:23 +0000

Here are a few more outtakes from Megan Fox’s New York Times shoot. The whole profile is here if you have time to waste. Or you could just as easily sit and stare at Megan Fox’s open legs for the next 30 minutes. The choice is yours. Choose wisely. Although, make sure you have a mirror on your desk to periodically check if your boss or co-workers walk by. If there’s one thing you don’t need today, it’s finding out someone is standing behind you only because their erection is poking you in the back of the head.

Hayden Panettiere is soaked

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:01:01 +0000

Hayden Panettiere did a video shoot with Tyler Shields for whatever reason. Basically, Tyler stole the sex tape Hayden and I made and put it in reverse. Make your own damn videos, Tyler. Oh, wait. That’s champagne? Oooo. I mean, no sex tape here, guys. Heh heh heh.

Screw you, Derek Jeter

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:28:08 +0000

Minka Kelly is in St. Barts with her dork boyfriend Derek Jeter. Here she is doing stuff in a bikini. I’ve always wondered why she’s with him instead of me. Sure, he may have batting averages, fame and money, but I have love, compassion and chloroform and if I could just get close enough to Minka when she’s alone, I know things will work out.

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2009

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:51:04 +0000

The annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show took place last night in New York. You’ll probably be really excited watching a bunch of hot chicks like Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosio, Marisa Miller, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr and others walk around the runway in ridiculous looking lingerie. Not me though. Why would I get excited about a regular Saturday night? (I have the 2008 show taped and watch it every Saturday night. I’m so lonely.) The show airs Tuesday, Dec. 1 on CBS. Hit the gallery for 120+ pictures.

Web finds

The Blemish — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:26:35 +0000

Oprah can be replaced. [Popeater]
The 2009 GQ Men of the Year Awards featuring… women? [The Superficial]
Models in the hair and make-up chair for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. [Drunken Stepfather]
Mark Sailing made the unwise choice to hook up with Audrina Patridge. [Lainey]
Years of self-tanning has led Victoria Beckham to have a natural orange glow. [Celebitchy]
John Mayer goes to battle on the Today Show. [Popsugar]
Remember that dude from Dawson’s Creek. Things aren’t going so well for him. [Wonderwall]

Afternoon time wasters

The Blemish — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:16:04 +0000

XTREME DRESSER!

Donald Trump gives good advice. Tells Carrie Prejean to do porn and donate the proceeds to charity. [The Superficial]
Katy Perry and her stupid tits. [Drunken Stepfather]
Aaron Carter is a dumbass. [Celebslam]
Which celebs are still hitting the beach? [Wonderwall]
Victoria Beckham weighs in on the merits of sleep and sex. [Popsugar]
LaToya Jackson is starting to resemble the crypt keeper. [Bossip]
Pamela Anderson is baggy. [Hollywood Rag]
Alex Rodriguez gives Kate Hudson a pricey ring. [ASL]
I can haz play video game? [LitelySalted]
Most appalling PDA of the day. [Daily Fix]
Fantasia is the next Sienna Miller. [Celebitchy]
Eliza Dushku does Us Weekly’s Hot Hollywood Party. [MoeJackson]
Way to ruin a wedding. [CityRag]
This is how you snatch a wig. [Dlisted]

Update: Tila Tequila naked, ranting, attention starved

The Blemish — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:23:51 +0000

I’ve been trying to find a saved copy of the UStream video with no luck so you’re just going to have to imagine a tattooed, fake-chested midget stripping on a webcam, ranting about her case against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman, pulling a tampon out of herself and masturbating (according to mixed reports) in the meantime. Barring a few dry heaves, this should be easy to do. Apparently, this breakdown went on for hours in the morning. Some choice quotes from her crazy talk:

“I am an angel … because I am here to save the world with my army.”

“People call me an attention whore .. or whatever … but excuse me I’m a grown ass woman and I’m confident in myself …I think a woman’s body is a beautiful thing … that’s why I’m a lesbian … I was born naked … anybody who is against that is gay and in denial.”

She makes a good point. However, Tila’s lawyer calls this a meltdown and blames this on Shawne Merriman who allegedly physically abused her. Her attorney says this “pushed her over the edge.” They’re now looking into how to get her some help or more media coverage. Whichever comes first.

Now with video (”WOW!”). Other video here.

Mariah Carey is still insane

The Blemish — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:21:52 +0000

Mariah Carey had her request to be surrounded by 20 white kittens and 100 white doves as she turns on Christmas lights at the Westfield shopping center in West London denied on the grounds that she’s batshit crazy.

The list – known in showbusiness circles as a ‘rider’ – included being driven by Rolls Royce along a pink carpet right to the pink podium where she is to wave a wand to turn on the lights.

A source revealed the model of car had to be changed six times before she was finally happy.

Miss Carey, 39, wants confetti shaped like butterflies, her favourite insect, to shower over her at the end. She has also requested an entourage of 15 along with about 80 security guards.
However, it appears her demands for white kittens and doves – which were already proving difficult to track down – were just too much for her hosts.

A source said: ‘We did manage to source the doves that we were going to release into the sky, but the kittens proved terribly difficult.
Phillip Schofield

Phillip Schofield was left fuming after Mariah Carey was an hour late for a recorded interview on ITV’s This Morning show

‘In the end, it was made clear that due to health and safety, there was no way we could have the animals at Westfield.

It’s frustrating to know that those were the only demands that weren’t met. Celebrities are like terrorists except they’re more successful in their negotiations. If a bank robber with hostages had the same list of demands, there would be no less than 15 snipers ready to shoot them in the head the minute they go near a window.

The Blemish

She who does not belong

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