Daniel Radcliffe arrived at the BBC Radio Studios to promote his new film Woman in Black. Although, I’m not sure if he’s happy about doing it or not. If I had to describe his expression here, it’d have to be “strained enthusiasm.”

The above photo posted to Twitter, since removed, shows Coco lying topless with her baby nephew. I linked to the photo on DS but I feel like I should highlight the severity of this situation.

Did you know a recent study showed suffocation by enormous titties were the second leading cause of infant deaths? Did anyone stop to think what if Coco fell asleep and one of her 20 pound funbags flopped onto that kid’s face? That baby could be dead now. Apart from the potential coroner’s report, this is no laughing matter.

• Alexander Skarsgard is now the superhero known as Alexander Scarfgard. Just wait until you see that magnificent thing flapping in the wind, said someone prone to double entendres.
• Eva Mendes keeps her figure by eating whatever she wants. As long as that “whatever” she wants is brown rice, vegetables or dark chocolate. How does she do it?!
• Adele is planning on losing weight but she doesn’t “want to be some skinny mini with my tits out.” Boo. Hiss!
• Kristin Cavallari was “unexpectedly” knocked up after reuniting with Jay Cutler and now she’s starting to show.
• Kate Upton, who really needs to start hitting the gym, may be your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl.
• Michael Lohan applied to Burger King in Palm Beach, Florida. Lindsay Lohan, this is your future. Muahhahaa!
• Cosmo UK fed Kim Cloutier a lot of drugs then did a photoshoot with her.
• Bar Refaeli got crunk on Twitter.
• So is Melissa Molinaro trying even harder to look like Kim Kardashian now? Way to aim low.
• Don’t worry about Macaulay Culkin, his rep says he’s perfectly healthy. He just dropped to 90 pounds because all the cool kids are doing it.

Jesse Farrelly, son of Bobby Farrelly, 1/2 of the Farrelly Brothers (Something About Mary), died of a drug overdose in Orange County, CA late Wednesday night. Police got a call about an unresponsive young male, possible drug overdose, on Wednesday evening. Jesse, 20, was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead.

“It is with profound sorrow that we accept the passing of our beloved Jesse following his struggle with addiction. We fully trust that he is now in the hands of our Lord.”

“We are immeasurably grateful for the abundance of happiness and laughter he brought into our lives, and we will rejoice eternally for all the moments we got to breathe in his wondrous spirit. The family thanks you for your well wishes and kindly asks that you respect our privacy during this difficult time.” TMZ

Well that sucks. But he must have known that was one of the possibilities when he took all those drugs. The other was riding over a rainbow on a half-unicorn, half-Angelina Jolie creature.

After discovering a Civil War era photo of a man who looked a lot like Nic Cage, a meme started that Cage was a vampire. Thankfully Cage was on The Late Show last night to debunk those rumors. With cold hard vampire facts.

“There is a resemblance,” said Cage of the man in the photo.
Letterman explained, “The guy’s theory is that you look exactly the same now and therefore that makes you a vampire.”
“Right,” replied Cage. “Except that there’s a photograph of me and you can’t take pictures of a vampire … Now look, I don’t drink blood and last time I looked in the mirror, I had a reflection, so I’m not going with this vampire theory. I’m just not going to do it.” Page Six

Of course a vampire would say that. You’d think a vampire would really tell the world he’s a vampire? I’m on to you Nic Cage, you filthy undead scum.

Madonna made a career off of being wildly inappropriate. She even released a book called Sex in 1992 which included softcore porn. But now she’s 53 and she can’t do that anymore because it’d be gross so her new thing is all about love and peace and being not controversial.

That all changed, however, during the Super Bowl last Sunday when M.I.A. flipped the bird. Screams of horror were heard everywhere. One of which belonged to Madonna who was none too pleased with M.I.A. diverting attention away from her assisted cartwheels. She called in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to discuss the incident,

“I understand it’s punk rock and everything, but to me there was such a feeling of love and good energy, and positivity, it seemed negative. It’s such a teenager … irrelevant thing to do … there was such a feeling of love and unity there. What was the point?”

Madge added, “It was just out of place.” TMZ

I believe the point was that they told M.I.A. to censor “sh*t” so she just gave the finger instead. Madonna should have just come out and said what she was really felling. That why wasn’t anyone talking about her 15 minute self-indulgent performance? She didn’t break or hip or anything!

Naomi Watts and Robin Wright are filming The Grandmothers in Sydney, Australia and that was a terrible way of introducing these two near middle aged women in their bikinis. Albeit, somewhat appropriate.

Look at Naomi Watts. So constipated. Someone better make sure she got her 8 cups of prune juice.

Lindsay and Ali Lohan are finally telling their mom Dina the truth. That she’s ugly and nobody likes her. Though they put it in a much nicer way.

“My girls are always telling me to cut my hair,” Dina, 49, told Us Weekly at Randi Rahm’s Fashion Week cocktail party in NYC Wednesday. “You know, you think you’re fashion forward, and then you have children who are way more, but you make your own look [work]. But it’s hard when you’re girls are like, ‘Mom, you’re looking scary.’” Us Weekly

People in glass houses, etcetera, etcetera. Did Lindsay even look in a mirror before or after the amfAR gala? She looked like a 35-year-old Real Housewife on Ambien. But more disheveled.

A couple days ago, Snooki and JWoww told the Huffington Post that they wouldn’t be too shocked if The Situation came out of the closet. JWoww said that all the signs were there from changing with guys in the same room to the way he holds his cigarette. Those comments got Mike Sorrentino’s panties in a bunch. He’s reportedly “furious” with his two castmates and “ripped them a new one.” Because that’s just what Mike wants. More holes to bang that aren’t a vagina.

“He’s extremely upset,” added the source, saying Sorrentino is concerned those comments could hurt his brand marketing efforts, which are very much focused on straight male customers.

The “Jersey Shore” staffer acknowledged the rumors about “The Situation’s” sexual orientation have been around since the show’s first season, “but Mike thought he finally had put a kibosh on that.” Sun-Times

Hurt his brand? Does he really think men who get spray tans and hit the tanning bed every week are going to boycott this guy because “he’s so gay.” That would be ironic.

Lindsay Lohan is broke and I’m beginning to think she starts these rumors of her “almost” being cast in films herself. Suffice to say, dignity left her a long time ago.

At the amfAR gala on Wednesday, Lindsay Lohan had her eyes on a “wealthy Canadian financier” at a nearby table. Smelling money like a truffle pig smells, er, truffles, Lindsay shuffled over to the Canadian’s table to work him over for a $20,000 piece of jewelry.

When bidding began, Lohan sent over an assistant who told him, “Lindsay would very much like it if you’d bid on this item as a gift.” The source said simply, “He just cracked up.” The Hublot diamond watch with a white alligator strap he bid on was won by someone else.

The assistant must not have said it right. You’re supposed to whisper it seductively into his ear and promise a handie in the bathroom afterward AND he won’t have to wait in line.

In other Lindsay is sad and pathetic news, she was overheard telling guests that she was there “because of her role playing Elizabeth Taylor, a major amfAR donor, in an upcoming Lifetime movie.” To which guests probably replied, “Sure you are sweetie,” and patted on her head before sending her on her merry way.

• Minka Kelly still looks hot [The Superficial]
• Great, more Jersey Shore [TDW]
• Rihanna has a death wish [IDLYITW]
• Coco topless for Twitter (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
• Diane Kruger is very dramatic [PopSugar]
• Erin Heatherton in lingerie [Popoholic]
• Channing Tatum’s star power > Reese Witherspoon’s? [Lainey]
• Woman bit in the face by dog [Dlisted]

• Halle Berry petitions just to take Nahla to France to live. Goodbye Gabriel Aubry. [Celebitchy]
• Sharon Stone thinks she’s 25. [Celebslam]
• Miranda Kerr in a bikini with a naked baby. [The Superficial]
• Kardashian photoshop shenanigans. [CityRag]
• Paula Patton sports cameltoe. (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
• Kris Humphries lawyers have some questions. [IDLYITW]
• There will be no Trainspotting sequel. [ONTD]
• Amber Rose is quite fashionable while walking her dog. [MoeJackson]
• Olivia Munn is done pandering to you nerds. [Hollywood Rag]

Dagger-chinned Reese Witherspoon showed up at the premiere of This Means War in a low cut top and black skirt and there isn’t one picture here where she’s not smiling hard. She needs to seriously calm down because this is starting to get creepy.