The Blemish

This isn’t the Rozyln Papa sex tape

The Blemish — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:20:42 +0000

Pornhub (VERY NSFW) posted a video clip of a girl purported to be The Bachelor’s Rozlyn Papa on her knees servicing someone. The only thing was, it wasn’t.

The clip is actually from a 2004 porno starring Lucy Anne. TMZ says that when the video is viewed in its entirety, Lucy looks nothing like Rozlyn. So mystery solved. Or is it? Maybe I should double check. You know, just in case TMZ or Roz’s lawyers missed something. Something… sexy.

Belena Rodriguez is playful

The Blemish — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:12:38 +0000

If I was the paparazzi and I was tasked with taking pictures of Argentine model Belena Rodriguez in Miami, I’d make a game out of it. Like, hopefully I had a partner so every time Belena would turn around and show off her fantastic ass, we’d high five each other and make a note of it. At the end of the day, we’d tally up how many high fives we gave each other and see how big of winners we both were.

Are they coming FROM the ocean?

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 23:19:59 +0000

Amy and Matt Roloff from Big People, Little World took a vacation to Hawaii and spent 30 minutes at the beach kicking and thrashing around in the water. Everyone thought they were having fun, but little did they know that Amy and Matt were drowning. This was made worse by the fact they were in the tide pool.

[Images: Pacific Coast News]

Afternoon time wasters

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:29:06 +0000

Andy Richter still thinks Leno is a dick. [Popeater]
101-year-old woman is horny as hell. [Bossip]
Kelly Ripa’s ripped body. [Drunken Stepfather]
The secret to good sex. [College Candy]
Simon Cowell forced to kiss his girlfriend. [Celebitchy]

Mo’Nique hasn’t changed at all. [Celebslam]
The real sexual napalm. [Dlisted]
Rosario Dawson and Maria Bello together. [MoeJackson]
Zoe Saldana is probably thinking about sex. [Socialite's Life]

Purple Magazine is predictable. [CNW]
Maria Menounous drops some cleavage. [Popohlic]
Mariah Carey isn’t pregnant, just fat. [LitelySalted]
Tony Romo helped Jessica Simpson through her weight gain. Probably with fried chicken. [Huffington Post]

Tim Gunn has a point

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:05:18 +0000

The oft soft-spoken host of Project Runway brought out the claws and is lashing out at the Kardashians calling their skin-tight, butt-enhancing and cleavage-bearing outfits, “largely vulgar” and that their look “has a cheapness and tawdriness [to it].” If you’re wondering what could have drew the ire of Tim, it’s the special collection the Kardashians designed for Bebe which they unveiled during last month’s Fashion Week.

When asked whether he supported the Kardashian Bebe spring line, a mix of jumpsuits and revealing one-shouldered dresses, Gunn told wonderwall.msn.com that the clothes didn’t talk to him.
“I just think the Kardashians have an absence of taste and I don’t think that that should be perpetuated,” he said. “I’m sorry I’m sounding like an old farty, snob, but it bothers me.”
Although he’s clearly no fan of their fashion taste or “how they navigate the world,” Gunn did have one nice thing to say about Kim — kind of.
“She’s pretty, but she’s a poser,” he told Behar, referring to the way Kim mugs for the camera. “I find that when she’s static and still, she has an attractiveness. I find that when she’s moving, it all goes away for me.”

Tim is right. The Kardashian’s are mostly trashy, but that’s what makes them so great. That they revel in it. There’s an attainability to them. Knowing that they look just like the prostitutes that pick you up at the bar and who steal your money while their pimp holds you down is comforting in a way.

[Images: INF]

Holly Madison is moving fast

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:36:39 +0000

I totally forgot Holly Madison was dating Benji Madden. And for good reason. They’re boring and Holly doesn’t even show her breasts anymore unless you pay her $80 so Holly wanting to move in with Benji isn’t that big of a shock. A source said:

“Benji cares very much for Holly. They have been talking about living together.”
Benji may be looking to settle down with Holly, as he recently revealed he is worried he is getting old.
The guitarist said he can never trust college students because of the way they look and talk, but realises his statement makes him sound like a grumpy old man.
He tweeted: “College kids with their big words and their sandals and their funny hair. I don’t trust ‘em (sic).”
He then wrote: “Last tweet=sure sign that I’m getting old. FVCK (sic).”

Wait, did Benji Madden of Good Charlotte just comment on how college kids dress? That’s ironic considering Benji still dresses like a loner goth kid from high school. I’d sooner trust a hitchhiker standing in the middle of the road carrying an axe and a severed head than Benji Madden.

Gerard Butler and Madonna?

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:41:23 +0000

Gerard Butler has been linked to pretty much everyone. He’s basically the manslut of Hollywood right now according to the tabloids. He’s like a male Paris Hilton, but more respectable. So it’s no surprise the latest “Gerard Butler hooked up with” story involves Madonna. From Hollywood Life:

Gerard attended a private bash that Madge, Demi Moore and producer Guy Oseary threw in the Hollywood Hills March 7 – and despite the very late hour, the action was steamy, we’re told. Madonna and Gerard were “all over each other,” one eyewitness tells HollywoodLife.com. “She was putting on the full-court press, totally charming him – and even challenged him to a dance-off! They were grinding in the middle of the room real close and then Demi joined in. It was hot! Gerard was loving the attention.”
After their sexy dance display, Madonna, 52, and Gerard, 40, huddled in a corner – but alas, she left alone.

Hollywood Life says it was a good idea Jennifer Aniston didn’t show up because she probably would have cut her wrists. That would have made things real awkward because no one would have noticed. They’d probably think the red stain on the floor was from wine or something.

And of course Madonna left alone. Why anyone would dare let those gnarled oak tree arms touch them is a mystery. You might as well get a handjob from a pine tree. Her vagina has so many layers of dust you’d need to use Pine-Sol as a lubricant.

[Images: INF]

Julie Bowen is in Hawaii

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:30:08 +0000

Julie Bowen from Modern Family (which is way better than The Office these days) was in Hawaii on Sunday either celebrating her birthday which was on March 3 or showing everyone she’s a big shot celebrity who can go to Hawaii whenever she wants.

She’s not bad for 41, but there’s something off about her body. It looks weird. It could be the belly button or it could be the protruding abdomen. It sort of looks like Chuck Liddell’s gut.

Little known fact: Julie Bowen wears a pacemaker.

Jeremy Renner didn’t hit that

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:57:58 +0000

Jeremy Renner of The Hurt Locker is denying reports he “spent the night hitting on Jessica like crazy.” Renner, who brought his mom to the Oscars, says he spent a total of “three minutes” talking to Jessica. From Us:

“Her hair stylist [Ken Paves] did my mom’s hair so we were talking about that — and then all of a sudden we’re dating!” he told Us.
Asked if he’s seeing anyone, he told Us, “I’m single — and looking!”
“I’m not a ladies man!” Renner told Us. “I’m a working man! That’s all.”

He probably didn’t have the prerequisites needed for dating Jessica Simpson. An executive membership to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.

Sean Penn wants reporters jailed

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:15:45 +0000

Sean Penn recently slammed critics of his recent trip to Haiti and wished rectal cancer on all of them. Today he’s asking that journalists who in any way call Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez a dictator be jailed. Sean Penn is very obviously insane. Appearing on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher on Friday, Penn defended Chavez saying:

“Every day, this elected leader is called a dictator here, and we just accept it, and accept it” said Penn, winner of two Best Actor Academy Awards. “And this is mainstream media, who should — truly, there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.”

Fox News’ Judge Andrew says what Sean Penn is asking for is basically a communist-like regime.

Judge Andrew Napolitano, Fox News’ senior judicial analyst, said the same constitutional protection that applies to journalists also applies to Penn, who can say pretty much anything he wants in the “political arena” — aside from an immediate incitement of violence.
“What he is saying is protected, as wacky and weird as it is,” Napolitano told FoxNews.com. “But the substance of what he’s saying would be absolutely contrary to the First Amendment, which fully protects all political opinions. So if a journalist says Dick Cheney should go to jail, the journalist is privileged to say that.”
“Mr. Penn is calling for a communist-like regime in which journalists who criticize the government are sent to jail because of that criticism,” Napolitano added. “That is utterly un-American and hasn’t happened here since the Civil War.”

Actors like Penn are idiots. They think that by winning 2 Oscars, their opinion matters no matter how stupid or hypocritical it is. I’d rather listen to myself struggling to breathe after being punched in the sternum than listen to Sean Penn talk politics.

Lindsay Lohan needs money, is suing

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:46:07 +0000

Lindsay Lohan was most recently fired from her fake position as artistic director at Ungaro. Suffice to say, she needs money. What better way to get it than from a frivolous lawsuit?

Lindsay is suing E-Trade for that talking baby commercial that debuted during the Super Bowl which features a boyfriend stealing milkaholic baby named Lindsay. She’s asking for $100 million for pain and suffering.

The commercial depicts a baby apologizing to his baby girlfriend about not calling the night before. The girlfriend asks, “and that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” Then baby Lindsay pops into frame to say, “Milk-a-what?”

Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, alleges Lindsay has single-name recognition like Oprah or Madonna and that E-trade is profiting off a parody of her life. “They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.” Ovadia wants an injunction to stop the spots from running.

The people who produced the ad said they “just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team.”

Ovadia argues that E-Trade violated Lindsay’s rights and used her “name and characterization” in business without paying or getting approval.

Bwahaha. Lindsay must be real hard-up for cash and high if she thinks she has single-name recognition. This is the dumbest lawsuit ever. You could open up a book of baby names and Lindsay would be the first thing you’d see. Lindsay was the 380th most popular baby name in 2008 according to the Social Security Administration. That may seem low, but that doesn’t even factor in alternate spellings like Lindsey or Lindsi or however the hell people spell it to be unique.

Only Lindsay would try something as stupid as this. When she loses, she’ll probably find a drunk chick named Lindsay stumbling out of a club at 4 AM high on coke and having just choked down a penis in a bathroom stall and slap her with a lawsuit alleging she’s parodying her life without paying royalties.

Web finds

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:14:53 +0000

Barbara Walters regrets her Ricky Martin interview. [Popeater]
Alessandra Ambrosio. Bent over. In a bikini. Awesome. [The Superficial]
Well, someone is a grumpy Gus. [Lainey]
Elton John probably not a fan of color. [PopSugar]
The real winners at the Oscars. [Wonderwall]
Bow Wow is gettin’ some. [Bossip]
Katherine Heigl goes black. [Just Jared]

Vanity Fair Party: Bar Refaeli

The Blemish — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 00:03:32 +0000

There should be a law saying Bar Refaeli should be allowed to attend whatever the hell party she wants. The only reason anybody would object to that is if they want to be kicked in the shins and called a gaylord. She’s so pretty!

The Blemish

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