The Bobby Pin

What I meant to say

2010-02-08T07:42:00.001-08:00

The first Sunday of each month at a LDS church is "fast and testimony meeting." Members are instructed to fast for two meals before attending, and after the sacrament is passed, the meeting is open for anyone to speak.

Sometimes this means some interesting times. I do believe at some point in the past two years my ward has been chastised by a Seventh Day Adventist. From our own pulpit. Awesome day. And of course there are good, uplifting moments too.

Today somehow I felt as though I should speak. The words were in my head. But when I went up there, I totally bombed it. My voice was shaky, my speech was slow, unsure.

The nerves turned into anxiety and I'm still shaking. I've heard it said, "if you can speak in church, you can speak anywhere." I guess I'm not there yet.

What I wanted to say is that I've been thinking about why I am Mormon lately. I've been thinking about why the heck I'm religious.

Why, when I believe in equality of the sexes, do I attend a church in which that is not consistently present? Or why, when I have been insulted and offended by church leaders, do I continue to return each week? The whole Prop 8 debacle, if I even dare bring it up. Despite me missing the past two weeks of Sunday school because I just didn't want to debate Eve's roll in the Fall.

It comes down to the inability to deny it. And the strength that I have within because of it.

That I believe in the truth of the teachings and that I can look past the imperfections, as I hope that others can do with me.

I am healthier, stronger mentally by not partaking in substances (I think I would make a horribly drunk). I know He answers my prayers. My beliefs keep my marriage strong, as a friend in my MBA cohort noted one day, because we're both working for the same thing, with the same idea of what marriage is.

For others, their life works just fine. But for me, this works. It has built my character and built me into a stonger person - even if I have reservations about some things, globally I am sustained in faith.

But should it all came to an end, and my beliefs in eternity are not quite true, I will be OK. Because I lived with hope. And happiness.

That's what I meant to say. If only I was a speaker not a writer.

Photo

Pom poms

2010-02-07T07:42:00.001-08:00

Another contender for one step too far in the headband trend. For me anyway, for another perhaps it would work.

From Etsy seller Spinthread. Who actually has amazing jewelry. Love this "right angle necklace" though anything with triangles makes me think about that horrible GMAT.

Originality

2010-02-06T07:42:00.000-08:00

There is an ongoing debate on creativity -- are there any new ideas or do all ideas just build on past ones?

While this would explain the reoccurrence of lime green being "the color for summer" about every four years, I tend to stick with the "new ideas" camp.

This totally explains why I think that. And it kept me fascinated for quite some time.

A series of YouTube clips that can be played all at once or at different times, and they always sound like a song.

Thanks Sarah.

Flight guide

2010-02-05T07:42:00.002-08:00

Somehow, in a rough economy, the travel industry is getting away with highway robbery. They advertise that they'll take you somewhere, but don't let you take anything with you to do so.

"Sure, come on an exotic getaway, but that swimsuit has to stay home. Unless you wear it on the flight."

"Want a fabulous weekend in New York City? Book our flight, but don't stay too long because we don't let you take shampoo. Don't want a smelly return trip!"

Makes. No. Sense.

The extra fees do influence who I fly with. Next month, we're taking a getaway to Seattle, and it is on Southwest.

I was stoked to see Airline Fees: The Ultimate Guide on Today in Travel. A spreadsheet of all major airlines and what they charge for the first bag, second bag and so on. They even have a European version.

I still think it it is robbery though.

Found via Mona's Posterous

Photo of Yakima Valley in Washington by Seattle Miles

Interview with Richard Doetsch

2010-02-05T07:42:00.001-08:00

I reviewed The Thirteenth Hour by Richard Doetsch a few weeks ago. The publisher, Atria Books, asked if I wanted to send him some questions and I was excited because someday I want to publish a book and such. So I asked him questions about writing. I've always wanted to know what it is like to write, really write, fiction.

I'm still hung up that he wrote the book in 30 days. Hold the phone.

What is your favorite book?

Such a tough question. All time would probably be A Christmas Carol, something I read every year. Ghosts, redemption, great characters, the holidays what could be better. close second though is The Count of Monte Cristo.

I love so many books it would take too long to list them but I might add some of my favorite authors are Dickens, Hemingway, HG Wells, Jules Verne, Ludlum, Crichton, Alistair Maclean, Alexander Dumas, Ian Fleming. I love To Kill a Mockingbird, The List of Seven, Sherlock Holmes, I could go on and on.

What path led you to become a writer?

I came to writing a bit later in life, in fact, the first thing I wrote (and longer than five pages) since high school was my first novel, The Thieves of Heaven. I never took a writing class but found that my voracious appetite for reading served as the ultimate school. I actually consider myself a story teller first and a writer second as my job is to tap my imagination so as not to repeat what others have done.

One day I was looking for something new to read but I found nothing interested me which got me thinking what would I want to see in a book. Everyone talks about writing a novel someday which is ridiculous from so many points of view, but I had a story to tell so I just started writing on the train one day and did it every day for almost a year, writing my first novel, The Thieves of Heaven. I never had so much fun and, as it turns, out, I could actually do it.

What do you love about writing? Also, what do you hate?

I really have a passion for writing and consider myself lucky that I found it at this point in my life. Some people drink to forget, play golf to get away, watch TV to escape, I get all of that plus much more when I sit down to write.

I get lost in my stories as my mind takes me to places and situation that I can’t believe I imagine. The greatest thing is to pick something up that you wrote and be entirely baffled that you wrote something that good. Of course the bad part of that is, you think you will never write something that good again.

Your characters in The Thirteenth Hour almost develop backwards... did you have to write the story forwards to get that?

Writing The Thirteenth Hour was like playing five games of chess in my head at the same time. I wrote the story backwards in the same way the reader experiences it. In so doing, I had to remember the future and the past. It was difficult but fun as it was like a giant puzzle whose every move reverberated throughout the story. I wrote a one page outline broken down by 12 chapters (hours) and wrote down how each started and ended. Other than that it was just full steam ahead with whatever popped into my head at the moment. I should note I had a note pad that grew daily with little facts, notes, and time sensitive points so I wouldn’t fall flat on my face in frustration or failure.

Julia Quinn is a sassy power-woman attorney. Why did you want to pick a strong woman for the role of the victim and how did it help the story?

Julie Quinn is Virginia Doetsch, my wife, with blonde hair. My main characters are usually based on my wife and I and in The Thirteenth Hour, they are an even closer reflection of us than my other books. As I was trying to write the story in 30 days, it was far easier for me to tap into our lives whether it be our jobs, our experiences, or our hearts as opposed to creating the characters out of thin air. I do believe by doing this it makes the characters far more real and helps the reader connect even more.

Where do you get your story ideas? How do you develop those into a novel?

I consider myself a story teller first and writer second and so I think, just like writing everyday, we need to keep the imagination sharp creating fresh, original stories. I have what I call the every day idea file where I force myself to dream up a new story each and every day. It has grown rather thick over time and is filled with ideas that go in every direction, some terrible, some good, and some completely original, wild, and great.

When it comes time to start a new novel, I sort through ‘the file’ and decide what excites me the most. Because there are so many ideas, I sometimes end up combining some of the ideas for a richer story. I’ll then do a very brief outline as I have found when I do a long outline, it loses some of the spontaneity and fun for me. I’ll then start writing. I write every day in usually three shifts: 8:30 until noon., 1 to 5 and then 10 pm to 3 AM. Of course, I do live life so when I’m out or have plans those times can shift around but I still find the time to get it all in and endeavor to write 3,000 words a day.

Any new and exciting projects you'd like to share?

My next novel, The Thieves of Darkness comes out this August in hardcover from Atria Books. I’m really excited about this story as it is the third in my Thieves series. The first book in that series, The Thieves of Heaven is being developed by 20th Century Fox while the series is published in 28 languages as they are really globetrotting thrillers about a gentleman thief.

We are also nearing the start of casting for The Thirteenth Hour. New Line Cinema and Mike Deluca are making it; the script was written by Mike Brandt and Derek Haas who did 3:10 to Yuma and Wanted, and I have to admit the script came out great. Early next year people will se the novel I just completed called Half Past Dawn. It’s a stand alone story that I think is even more exciting than The Thirteenth Hour.

FTC Disclosure - the book was provided to me by Atria Books.

Polaroid Scarf

2010-02-04T12:20:00.000-08:00

I kind of don't get the whole polaroid movment. I mean, you take them with a camera that gives you an instant shot, but you want to keep it for posterity, so you scan it into the computer? And don't digital cameras kind of give an instant shot too?

And I kind of get the feeling that my lack of love for polaroid lowers my blogger street cred.

Meanwhile, I do like these polaroid scarves. I like the whole look of a neck scarf with the toothpick jeans actually.

I still like old things, promise. And there is a little bit of nostalgia with a polaroid - I remember my dad taking them with his camera. Though he'd never take many, telling us it needed to be a good photo because the film was expensive.
Whoa, think we just had a major break through here. My lack of polaroid love was taught from a young age.

Now this is a swimsuit

2010-02-04T06:07:00.000-08:00

So I am not a fan of the color they have pictured. But I want this suit. Designed by a Hollywood swim actress Esther Williams. Her Web site is too awesome.

Now that is a one-piece I can wear. I wonder what color would be best? Or I might stick with last year's swimwear too.

Classic Sheath, $65

Mark all as read and other February must-dos

2010-02-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

If you can do something continuous for three weeks it becomes a habit. So from that totally unsourced fact, I am declaring that monthly goals are the new resolution. Or the aid that gets you to that resolution. This year I am trying to simplify. I've never done the monthly goal thing, but I have list a several scrolls-long list on my task bar.

Here are my goals:

Stay caught up on my homework and not my Google Reader updates. Realize this is part of learning how to make the transition to student.
Check out the USD gym and classes. Wave at it. Possibly go inside.
Go for a walk every Sunday with husband and puppy. Hold hands. Catch up on life.
Research the difficulty of creating a 501c3 nonprofit… I got so many ideas after visiting Break the Cycle (and having six hours of drive time to myself)
Blog about being feminist and Mormon. After telling people about this fabulous snacker, I got many questions.
Not call in sick – I am almost out of personal days for the year! I will of course call in if I get sick, but I am trying to stay healthy. Vacation days are too precious.

What are your goals for February? I'll hold you accountable if you help me. I'll check back on Feb. 28. It is a short month, so all the better to start with.

Photo (by Lauren Alane, who has a ton of cute bird photos)

Proof

2010-02-02T20:54:00.000-08:00

Evidence that I actually did tricks in the air. I'm toward the end. Acting a little woozy, but to my defense, I had been hanging upside down!

This was on NBC 7/39 at 5 p.m. tonight. I think Spencer did a great job of capturing the emotions of nervousness and excitement.

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcsandiego.com/video.

By the way - we initially heard of this through a groupon. I hope they advertise a Circus one again --but I'm definitely watching the groupons more often to discover more fun things to do in San Diego .

Wake up to domestic violence, America

2010-02-02T11:46:00.000-08:00

2nd UPDATE: Pushed back to Tuesday.

UPDATE: This is set to air on Friday between 8 a.m to 9 a.m., with a likelihood of before 8:30 a.m. No joke, that's what I was told. Also with a possibility it could get pushed back to Monday. Chance of showers also expected.

I didn't meet Diane Sawyer. But yesterday I shared some of my story for a piece on Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month that is set to appear on Good Morning America on Friday, possibly Monday. I'll let you know.

I don't shout about what happened to me. But if it is for a good cause promoting awareness and prevention, I will. Break the Cycle is a strong organization doing so much to raise awareness. I did a DVD with them that is sent to high schools across the country and this month they are encouraging all schools to do a universal announcement about healthy relationships on February 10.

Because one in three teens are in an unhealthy relationship.

Even if my part gets cut, I'll give another reminder to talk to your friends about the issue. Recognize that it exists. Create dialogue. Here are 10 things you can do right now to raise awareness for domestic violence.

The news girl in me loved watching the set up. It was fun to see how they arrived and set up a studio in a conference room. I can't imagine having to haul around all that stuff for work. They did a great job. The producer asked questions via blackberry and speakerphone, and I answered them talking to the sound guy. Very Charlies Angelish.

Lessons learned from flying through the air

2010-02-01T07:13:00.000-08:00

I wish I could say I marched right up that ladder at Circus Fund, grabbed the trapeze and jumped off the platform, but I can't.

I climbed the rickety 30-foot ladder and got stuck. Going back down the ladder seemed like a bad idea, but jumping off the platform holding onto a bar didn't seem like a fabulous alternative either.

I was stuck. Up there, listening to the cheers of pals, who were really thinking "sometime tonight, Natalie, I'd like to get up there myself."

Certainly it didn't help when I asked the super-perky-with-super-toned-arms-trapeze-teacher if anyone had ever peed themselves and her answer was affirmative.

Somehow, possibly with a little kick in the knee from the trapeze people, I went. Perhaps just to get down.
There may be an incriminating photo displaying my terror out there on the Internet.

But you know what? It was awesome. I flew. And then I got scared to let go of the bar. So the harness-man-super-buff-trapeze-man was able to stop me completely.

The first lesson learned at #TrapezeGNO (girls night out): I am a total wuss. And don't trust anything until it is proven. But I could have told you that already.

Next, they said "OK, now you're going to flip your knees up onto the trapeze and then let go with your arms and swing with your knees. Then you'll backflip off."

This is when I asked "Funny. What do you really want us to do?" to Theresa of RockonMommies.com

Photo by CaliforniaKara, who graciously came and took photos.

But with a little practice on the bar comfortably close to the floor, we were ready to go.

Lesson: practice to become perfect

Sugar Jones practicing

Once we learned what we could on the ground, we were declared ready. We did not declare ourselves ready.

Keeping my legs together. Trying to achieve banana-like form. Their instructive words, not mine.

Success was mine. I was thrilled.

The final trick was to swing on your knees and get caught in the air by buff-trapeze-man swinging on a trapeze as well. We asked if it was necessary to take off the shirt. He said yes.

Liz, of iizliz and BabyBlooze.com, making the catch. Success. Photo by CaliforniaKara

The timing had to be perfect. And I did it.

Lesson learned: listening helps.

And then I did a happy dance.

Photo by Reese Dixon

Never in my life have I experienced such fear and such exhilaration in the same day. Heck, in the same hour. It was darn near emotional.

Lesson learned: I can do anything I put my mind to. That MBA program? With so much homework the first week I thought I was never going to see the light of day? I can do it.

The work proposal I am writing? I can do it.

Certainly things may take a bit longer to do than figuring out a few tricks, but the feeling of conquering something that seemed so hard at first remains.

Look for us on Channel 7/39 later this week.

Other lessons:
Techie friends on the Internet are awesome. But can completely blackmail you. So don't cross them. But Liz, you have nothing to worry about. She accomplished all the tasks fearlessly. With grace no less.

Even if you think something is scary, do it. Unless it is life-threatening. I called Circus Fund to see if anyone had ever died. They said it was bad for business.

Enjoy how you feel. I was jumping up and down due to adrenalin. I was almost in tears before. All of it contributed to a better experience. In life we sometimes hide behind a wall. Forget the wall.

Another lesson? Hang with great people. At the tweetup, @EyeMusing, @ReeseDixon, @CandiceStone, @CathyNguyen, @EverydayMama, @GingerAnderson, @Hip_M0M, @iizLiz, @jboydSanDiego, @Karinayhmy, @RockOnMommies, @SugarJones and quite possibly a few others? Let me know!

Thanks to @NBCPhotog for shooting it -- and @CaliforniaKara for taking pictures!

And @Bskinz for sending us the pants. They were amazing.

Overheard at Costco

2010-01-31T16:01:00.000-08:00

Wife: "What are we here looking for?"

Husband: "I don't know, we're just walking down every aisle."

Sometimes it just is that way isn't it?

If the MBA doesn't work out

2010-01-30T17:45:00.000-08:00

...my next occupation probably won't be the circus. But you never know until you try do you?

So we did. At #TrapezeGNO we -- a group of fabulous bloggers and marketers and writers -- went to Circus Fund and worked the Trapeze.

Too cool for words. And seriously the highlight of the year.

This was shot by Spencer, a photog for NBC 7/39.

So yes, look for us on the local news this week.

Thanks to Bskinz for sending us pants. They were the envy of everyone, including the trapeze coaches. I got some seriously crazy blue swirl ones.

Full post coming soon.

Hey where we go today

2010-01-29T07:42:00.000-08:00

Husband is the DJ in our relationship. It is an important task. Otherwise all of "our songs" would be sung by the classy likes of Keith Urban. Not that Keith isn't classy. There just wouldn't be much diversity.

So husband is the DJ and he finds us our songs.

Right now, we can't stop saying "I love you, I love you, I love you" and having impromptu dance parties because of this song.

And let me tell you -- that is a big deal. I thought I gave up dance parties when I got married. Nope, hubs was just waiting for the right song to really boogie with me.

What is on your romantic playlist right now?

You should

2010-01-28T07:42:00.000-08:00

Perhaps I cannot take advice. But I am becoming a hater of any sentence that starts out "you should..."

I already know there are a lot of things I should do. So why do people feel the need to point it out? And why do I feel the need to be the expert in someone else's life?

I am very quick to give out the "you should" and slow to believe what anyone else tells me I should do.

I am attempting to move from "should" language to "could" language. If I really feel as though I have an idea that would help, it will be spoken as a possibility instead of a demand.

Because you can take the stairs or you can take the slide - but they both put you in the same spot. At least in this photo.

I must embrace decisions people make. For I am not an expert in their life.

Note: This post was written long before the comments on this post. It has sat in my drafts folder since 2008. I really just get annoyed when I get "shoulded" and imagine other people feel the same way. Also in the folder is a list of "the worst song metaphors ever" but I can't seem to get enough for a post.

Perhaps this is the definition of old married couple

2010-01-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

Our favorite Sunday activity is to take walks in the dark.

At night, we cuddle up and watch a something on Biography. Meredith Vieira. John and Abigail Adams. Downloaded from hulu.com and watched in bed. By night, I mean 10:30.

Our favorite treat is nachos - layered for extra cheese (this dairy-free diet is going reallly well) and salsa. We have two different bowls because I like my salsa warmed up.

For awhile on Sundays, we dressed to match on accident. So lately on Sunday, we purposely dress to not match.

Husband makes me breakfast every morning. Sure, it is just stirring the instant breakfast into the soy milk. But when I wake up and see that, it makes mornings just a little bit better.

He makes me laugh so hard when we think about the past few years -- and our crazy attempts to be frugal, that I sometimes pee a little. TMI? Possibly.

Classics

2010-01-26T07:42:00.000-08:00

In the past week I've watched You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle and one other with Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate that escapes my mind at the moment. All on TV at random moments.

These are the movies that evoke emotion, not only because you remember the story, but because I remember all the times I watched them. Snuggled up to different people. Or too often with a bag of popcorn all by lonesome.

I finally saw 500 Days of Summer.

Husband hated it. Which I found funny because guys are always saying girl movies are too predictable. Here's one that kind of wasn't. And the boys hated it.

It left me in a remiscing, sentimental mood. Thinking about what worked in my life and what didn't. And of course a strange desire to cut bangs and wear blue.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

2010-01-25T07:42:00.000-08:00

Eleanor Roosevelt said that. But it helps to hear it from my friend too.

How many times can I talk myself down before I start believing it? Probably about once. So it is good to just not start.

Also - breaking news - LinkedIn is apparently actually good for something!

My first day of school is today! I am excited!

But there aren't that many unique things about you

2010-01-24T07:42:00.000-08:00

Two awards! Fun! Thank you! And it isn't from my mom or husband. Not that I don't like awards from my mom or husband, but is is nice coming from friends too.

I'm horrid at memes. I love reading them. I just don't feel creative.

So I asked husband to help.

"Haven't you already done that?"

"Yes. But I got tagged again. I need seven more things."

"But there aren't that many unique things about you."

Ow.

He tried to recoup with "no one has more than seven unique things about them."

But no way. Not true.

So I'm countering with seven unique things about my husby.

One. He uses his car as his locker. Every time I need something, he's all "oh it is in my car, let me go get it."

Two. He eats cold cereal every morning and every night. He buys Raspberry Newtons so that he doesn't eat a final bowl of cereal. Oh, and it must be cereal that has a cartoon character on it.

Three. He spent 10 years in Utah, but still says he is from Las Vegas.

Four. He cares more about what kind of jeans he is wearing than I do.

Five. I like sweets. He doesn't. Just cold cereal. If we buy ice cream, I eat the whole gallon.

Six. He really loves our animal. Our little puppy is his first pet. But he loves her like a child.

Seven. There's really nothing he's afraid of. That I've encountered anyway.

So, umm, meme-follow-rules fail. But thank you!

The Kreativ Blogger award from Jenny and the Beautiful Blogger award from Alanna

Always such interesting clip art that accompanies these awards.

Graduation party

2010-01-23T07:42:00.000-08:00

This is the last semester of law school. And if we make it through this one, a party is in order. The ceremony is usually at Balboa Park -- I've yet to hear details for this year -- but the park would be perfect. It is usually easy to borrow tables from the church. Tablecloths would be cheap.

We could order all of our fave San Diego foods take out and create a "this got us through law school" smorgasboard. Though my mother-in-law may not be thrilled with the barbecue ribs and hot wings that we eat a surprising amount of.

I just need twinkle lights. Think those will be on some sort of crazy post-holiday sale. Oh, and some way to power them. I'll have to check on that.

Right now I'm still on the ideas phase of "how to celebrate this moment with husband and the family."

Photo

Found in San Diego: Fiesta Island

2010-01-22T07:42:00.000-08:00

We love this place. We don't go enough. There is biking, horseback riding, hiking and much more -- but we usually go to the dog park. It is huge. The puppy doesn't know what to do with herself because there is so much room.

Basil. Dahlia's semi-boyfriend. When they saw each other, they ran toward each other. Then Basil kept running and came and said hi to us.

Happy puppies. Look at all that room.

The best part is, Dahlia just comes home and sleeps forever.

New stop sexual assault campaign

2010-01-21T13:09:00.000-08:00

I like this campaign. It could go further.

If this woman was wearing super tight jeans would someone help?

If this woman was married would someone help?

If this woman was homeless would someone help?

Just Detention International (JDI) works to end the sexual abuse of detainees.

One-in-eight detained youth report being sexually assaulted within their facility within the past year; 80 percent of these victims were abused by a member of the facility’s staff. The numbers make the ad campaign even more striking.

I caught myself joking about Tiger Woods when the news of his 17-plus mistresses hit the airwaves. I said something in the realms of "I hope his wife gives him what he had coming." Then suddenly I realized I was joking about domestic violence. Which doesn't work for me. Whatever the Woods family does is between them, but violence isn't the answer.

Source: Washington City Paper

Bearded

2010-01-21T07:42:00.000-08:00

Do you like facial hair? I don't. If husband goes a few days without shaving, I'm out.

But these photos from the World Beard and Mustache Championships are pretty crazy.

And, the United States is the ‘world’s new facial hair super power, after taking 12 world championship titles out of 18 categories plus overall at the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Anchorage, Alaska in 2009′

Go USA.

Modesty at the Golden Globes

2010-01-20T07:44:00.000-08:00

So it is Wednesday. The awards were Sunday. I'm a day or three late. So I'd given up on a Globes post. But then the dresses! I'm a fan of awards dresses. I need to do something more fancy in life.

So these are the modest -- and pretty -- dresses of the Golden Globes. In my humble opinion of course.

My favorite knock-out went to the Brothers and Sisters star. Hubs and I are huge Brothers and Sisters fans so I was happy about this one.

Calista Flockhart. She looks like a goddess. I love it. I like the knotted necklace, the loose hair (though does she need her roots done?) and the man accessory isn't so bad either. I want this dress. Photo from Evil Beet.

Cameron Diaz. Loved the structure of the sleeves and draping. Don't know if I like that the bodice comes to a point. Love that there is fabric underneath the draping so the dress isn't too hooch. Photo from Eliza Mag.

Julia Roberts. This was a maybe to me. Loved the chunky jewelry and the legs. Proof that long sleeves can work. Almost bohemian but not quite. Vintage YSL. Photo from Just Jared.

January Jones. I love the headband. It was a risk and she wound up on some worst-dressed lists for it. But it looked great. Can't confirm what the back of the dress looked like, but it does have sleeves. Photo from Evil Beet.

Usually the modest dresses seem to have something in common. Color, sparkle, silhouette. Something that sets the style. This year I think it was that they had a structured element -- the sleeves, ruffled bodice, something. Except for Miss Flockhart, who just looks incredible.

We’re OK. In Haiti.

2010-01-19T14:21:00.000-08:00

"In the aftermath of disaster, we are reminded that life can be unimaginably cruel. That pain and loss is so often meted out without any justice or mercy. That "time and chance" happen to us all. But it is also in these moments, when we are brought face to face with our own fragility, that we rediscover our common humanity. We look into the eyes of another and see ourselves." -President Barack Obama, Newsweek, Jan. 15, 2010

The story depresses me. The bodies unnerve me and I turn on Friends. Then I feel guilt for doing so.

One thing that helped was watching these videos from CNN ireporters. Just people saying their name and messages to their family about being alive. Not graphic, but human. Jean Batijeune is in a shirt from my husband's alma mater. I loved his "we're OK. In Haiti."

Video source (it kept auto playing and I wasn't a fan of that)

I hear that Haiti needs my money. Then I hear that the text message money won’t make it until April. Or that Haiti won’t know what to do with the money they do get. Like most things, I come back to that it just isn’t my place to judge. Not about why this happened. Or which charity is the best. I will make my donation and hope all is handled correctly.

This quake will cause me to take a moment and say a prayer of hope and one of thanks.