Life is all about relationships.

My grandson Henri turned three in December. Children that age are adorable, curious, and wonder-filled.

A month ago, my daughter began sending two minute videos of him at breakfast, a few times a week.

They brought me so much joy that last Saturday evening I decided to pack and leave for a week of face-to-face family time or "my Henri fix!"

By Sunday afternoon, I was stealing kisses and hugs. We fill our days with squealing and laughter. We play hide-and-go-seek, and visit the cows and horses that are part of the agriculture department at Michigan State University.

I bath him in the evenings and enjoy the smell of his baby shampooed hair and squeaky clean skin.This time is irreplaceable, precious, and priceless. 

Moments in time when we lock eyes, we share food, we laugh and smile, we touch and explore, we run and chase.

Yesterday I helped granddaughter, Mackenzie, with an essay for a college scholarship. We spent three hours playing with ideas, stories, and sharing memories, as she wrote about her accomplishments and why she thought she deserved to be awarded.

It was anything but fun.

Connection isn't always easy but it's always valuable and meaningful. 

It felt stressful, she was moody, and impatient. 

It was time spent bonding over the agony of choosing heart-grabbing stories and the most compelling words.

She fidgeted. She wrote. She complained. She rewrote. She edited. She reedited. 

I held back tears as I reflected on her 11 years of Girl Scouts and four years of varsity swimming and how fast time had passed.

After she finished, we enjoyed a late lunch at her favorite restaurant. She shared her senior-year drama and her hopes and dreams for the future. 

We laughed. We locked eyes. We embraced. We connected.

Connections. When we develop and reinforce our strong connections, we create a loving energy that has a ripple effect on those around us. The loving energy will also draw others to us and give us more opportunities to share and connect in the future.

Powerful stuff.

Connections of the heart. They need to be taught, nurtured, cherished, and shared.

Connecting with Family and Friends

We often neglect the people that mean the most to us. The family and friends that are present in our lives. We're too busy chasing the next big thing, watching one more reality TV show, losing ourselves in gaming, gambling, porn or (fill in your addiction or bad habit here).  

Technology, social media, and internet connections can invade our face-to-face relationships, steal our attention, and take possession of our minds, bodies, and souls. 

The results are self-neglect and abuse, depression, emptiness, loneliness, anxiety, failed relationships, and full blown addictions.

Disconnection.

Disconnections from love and life itself. An emptiness that creeps into your soul. 

The only way to prevent it is by creating balance in your life. Learn to take time to disconnect from all things digital and be present with the people around you. 

For me, life is too short to miss Henri's third year.

Life's too short to miss Mackenzie's transition into adulthood. 

Life's too short to miss out on moments that make life worthwhile.

Life is too short to live without touching and feeling the ground under our feet.

Life is to short to go without dirt under our fingernails and the wind in our hair.

Life's too short to spend it chasing shiny things.

Life is too short to spend all of your time working.

Life's to short to trade virtual sex for real intimacy.

The quality of life depends on the quality of your relationships. What five words would you use to describe your closest relationships today?

Are you bold enough to make the changes you need to make?

Life's too long to live without reaching out and obtaining the help that you may need to disconnect from technology and reconnect with your family and friends. 

Action step: Track the quality time you spend with family and friends that doesn't involve being digitally connected. Awareness is the first step of change.

Please share your thoughts below.

A few good reads:

Sibyl Chavis wrote an excellent article: How You Know When It's the Perfect Time to Make Something Happen

Alex Blackwell gets creative: Encouragement in 160 Characters or Less

Cathy Taughinbaugh is passionate about recovery  Two Must Read Books On Addiction and Recovery

If you find this worthwhile please share it with someone you know that may appreciate it. 

 A part of bold living is asking for what you want. Watch my video to see how easy it can be!

“The world is full of genies waiting to grant your wishes.” — Percy Ross

Many people are afraid to ask others for what they want. So they go without. Know this need not be! I ask my clients to practice asking for what they want for three weeks straight. By the end of their weeks, their fear drops significantly.  

What do you want? Who can you ask? The following are a few examples of what I've asked for lately.

1. I asked hubs if he would be willing to split a dinner in a restaurant last Saturday. The serving sizes are too big for one person. His reply was, "No." Just because you ask doesn't mean you'll always get a yes. Don't take it personally.

2. I asked my friend Angela to help me with some Facebook issues. She said, "anytime." 

3. I asked my daughter for some new running shoes. She gave me several pair. She sells athletic shoes, I wear the sample size.

4. I asked a client to deposit money in my Paypal account prior to receiving my services. She did. You might think that's a no brainer, it's not. Several of my friends don't feel worthy of being paid on time. 

5. I purchased an article of clothing and decided not to keep it. I asked for a refund in spite of not having a receipt, and I got it.

What can you ask for today? Just ask!

Share your thoughts below.

In the spirit of Valentines Day I share the following writers and their words of wisdom on love. Celebrate today and everyday by telling others, "I love you." I'll go first, "I love you!" xo 

For the love of soulmates

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. Eat, Pray, Love -Elizabeth Gilbert

For much love

It is not how much we do, 
but how much love we put in the doing. 
It is not how much we give, 
but how much love we put in the giving. -Mother Teresa 

For understanding love

When it comes to love, we all have different ideas and thoughts about what LOVE IS. That is the beauty of love, it can mean different things to different people all based on their own understanding and experience. But, although we might all have different definitions of LOVE, one thing remains common in all our interpretations and that is “Love is Ever Present”. Positive Provocation, Zeenat Merchant-Syal

For the love of an addict

To those addicts in the family, especially when they are our children, we love you, we always have, and we always will. We may have let each other down at times, and our hearts may have been broken. None of our lives will ever be the same. This may not be the life we expected, but this is the life we have, and we have learned to embrace it.

We cherish our loved ones, and love them unconditionally. We won’t enable those with the disease of addiction, but we will not forget all they have to offer either. No matter what the circumstances, there is always hope. Treatment-Talk, Cathy Taughinbaugh 

For the love of marriage

 A life worth living is a life worth sharing. Sharing my life with Mary Beth provides so many blessings. My heart will always remain faithful to hers because it is constantly being filled with her love and grace. I have faith it will always be this way – no matter what. The Bridgemaker, Alex Blackwell

For the depth of love

The length of a relationship is not a good measure of its depth or its meaning. Instead, remember the nature of your interaction with the other person, the simple exchange of your mutual understanding, and the lasting impressions you left behind. Let those mark your measures of success when it comes to relationships. Prolific Living, Farnoosh Brock

For the love of home

Human beings thrive in the midst of love, compassion, sincerity and understanding.  We crave the intimacy of close relationships—having someone to confide in and to laugh with.  We want to be listened to, valued and reminded that we’re important to someone.  Good relationships fill that void.  They nurture the spirit, the psyche, the vulnerable inner child who’s always within. Self Improvement Saga, Nea

For the love of babies

Hushaby was written when I was reflecting on my children as babies, and I got tired of singing the traditional lullaby songs. A simple melody that has added cello parts to it, I look forward to someday singing it to my grandchildren. Find Your Harmony, Jen Slayden

For the substance of life

Love is the substance of all life. Everything is connected in love, absolutely everything. Brainy Quote, Julia Cameron

For the love of writing

I write because there are cloud shapes that others cannot see and the touch of a prickly pear that others will not feel and the sound of spring runoff in a mountain creek that others will not hear and the taste of my mother’s mashed potatoes that others will not taste. Unless I write about those things. Winsomebella, Winsomebella

For the love of celebration

Of all the Valentine’s Days I’ve had while on the earth, I’ve had an actual “valentine” on maybe seven of them. That means there’s been over twenty five without a valentine. Yes I know it the first twelve shouldn’t really count, since chocolate and candy hearts were enough in those childhood years, but the point is, I know about being bummed out on Valentine’s Day. Kaizen Vision, Aileen Mahoney

For the love of flowers

I will be the gladdest thing
Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
And not pick one. Edna St. Vincent Millay Agrigirls Blog, Tammy McLeod

For the love of challenges

According to Shakespeare: "Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Life is actually neutral. I believe it is our own perception of life challenges that causes us pain. We give everything in our life its meaning. We make ourselves upset by what we tell ourselves about a particular experience. We only see how the conditions affect the present time, seeing through the filters of our own beliefs. Our perception of things is limited; we cannot see the whole picture. Empowering Change In You, Kay Nuyens

For the love of horses

On June 3^rd, 2010, I quit my job; my secure job, where I was doing great, and that I loved to death, that afforded me a nice apartment in a gorgeous neighborhood, meals out, a great retirement plan, a nice insurance package and enough extra cash to travel during the summers. That Which Really Is, The Girl

For the love of fitness

When the actions are tiny, they are easy. You have no excuse. You can do them anywhere, all day long. I fold fitness into my life, like blueberries into batter, and it becomes a part of the recipe, not just a topping. If you haven’t found a way to get fit, try the Thousand Cuts Fitness Program. There is nothing better for those who don’t have the time. Zen Habits, Leo Babauta

For loving-kindness

When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and care for, but it also helps us develop inner happiness and peace. -Dalai Lama

Please share your thoughts on love below.

I've overcome my fear of being in front of a camera! 

Recently, I took a two week video bootcamp, from Mary Jasch of A-List Bloggers Bootcamp. 

I've wanted to do more videos for a couple of years now and just couldn't get over myself.

Isn't that the way it usually is?

We get in our own way. We stop ourselves. We are our own worst critics.

I have to say it again "I've overcome my fear of being behind in front of a camera!" 

Insert Happy Dance!

I also did my first interview via Skype with my good friend, Sibyl Chavis, at The Possibility of Today.

It's my first video interview. She just posted it. 

My old self would have disliked it and would have been very critical. My new self is proud of my breakthrough and I'm in love with it.

I only see what I can improve the next time.

You can see I'm nervous. you can guess it's my first. I'm not even facing the camera correctly.

Who cares? Not me.

Because I did it!

And then…finally…towards the end of the video I begin to SHINE! 

You can see my transformation.

Sibyl did an awesome job and I love her two surprise questions at the end. 

It was so much fun talking to her and most importantly, I believe we established a deeper connection.

That's the magic of video.

Connection! It's the reason I finally broke through my fear.

I want to connect with all of you, my readers, on a deeper level.

I want to get to know each of you better. I want you to get to know me.

So be bold. Take that risk! Who cares if it isn't perfect. We're human!

People will forget about what went wrong before they go to bed tonight.

Thanks Sibyl for bringing out the best in me! xo  I'm closing comments so you can Click here to watch the video!  

I love reading, writing, growing, and creating. I love blogging!

I have a masters degree in counseling psychology so personal development was a natural niche for me when I started.

I find that other bloggers inspire me, motivate me, encourage me and challenge me. They make me laugh and they make me cry.

Some have become my friends, confidants, mastermind, and business partners. On my list of awesome bloggers you'll find some of the best bloggers, a few brand new ones, and many that are in between.

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Today I want to share with you personal development blogs, that along with a commitment to take action, can change your world!

1. Everyday Bright  Jen Gresham is a scientist by training and an optimist at heart. She teaches others how to turn their career fantasy into reality.

2. The Daily Love Mastin Kipp offers a free e-multivitamin for your soul. He blends wisdom with style on his blog and delivers a daily email and Twitter messages for a fast paced lifestyle. 

3. The Happy Seeker Christopher Foster is the oldest (79 years) newest blogger online. He offers advice on how to achieve happiness, inner peace, and stillness in your life. Chris and I have become good friends.

4. Powered by Intuition Angela Artemis will inspire you and motivate you to make your dreams a reality by developing and following your intuition. Angela did a reading for me last year after my mom passed away. Amazing!

5. Abundance Tapestry Evelyn Lim will teach you how to turn your dreams into reality and inspire you to live abundantly and consciously.

6.  For a Better You and a Better World Arvind Devalia shares inspirational but practical advice on how you can leave the world a better place. 

8. Soul Speak Jodi Chapman and her husband Dan Teck will teach you the power of journaling and have created a Soulful Journals Series, to help you life a life of passion and meaning.

9. Simple Marriage Well known self-development blogger, Dr. Corey Allan is committed to love! He teaches that marriage is more about becoming a better human that it is about two people being happy. He's deep, inspiring and just plain awesome.

10. Balance In Me Anastasiya Goers just a regular girl who is health conscious and who offers practical advice on her blog derived from her own experiences of living a busy life while staying in great shape both physically and mentally.

11. The Bridgemaker Alex Blackwell offers themes of forgiveness, faith in difficult times, and appreciating the preciousness of each moment. 

12. Positively Present Dani's blog strives to support the idea that life is best lived if it's lived right now with a positive attitude. I've followed Dani since 2009 and have watched her and her blog take off and soar.

13. Motivational Memo Peter Sinclair is a "heart to heart resuscitation specialist" who wants to help you develop your strengths and live your passion.

14. Good Life Zen Here you'll find practical inspiration by Mary Jaksch where you can get a new take on life, and find creative ways to make your wildest dreams come true. 

15. Constantly Evolving Caroline Manrique is a self-taught brilliant photographer that writes personal stories and insights from her heart. She's raw, honest, and fun! I've hired her for both her photography and her design work.

16. Always Well Within Sandra Pawula intersects personal development, simple wisdom, wellness, and ecology. She invites readers to tap into their own inner spring of true happiness and freedom.

17. Change Your Thoughts Steve Aitchison has over 500 articles on his blog. He invites you to change your thoughts, beliefs, and actions to create a life that you love.  

18. Zen Habits I took three habit courses with Leo last year. I feel like I've gotten to know him better with both the webinars from the habit course and the webinars in the A-List Blogging Boot camps. Down to earth…awesome.

21. Zen-Mama Besty will inspire you to become a better parent. She posts stories and awesome family photos of her travels that will make you want to grab your kids and hit the road.

22. Treatment-Talk Blogging newcomer, Cathy Taughinbaugh is passionate about supporting people in recovery and others who want to live a life of inner peace and joy. 

23. Awake Create Fran Sorin will help you awaken your creative spirit so that you can live a more joyful, authentic, and meaningful life. 

24. Live Bold and Bloom Barrie Davenport wants to inspire you to live boldly and bloom to your fullest potential. Like me she offers advice for fearless living.

25.  Evolving Wellness Evita Ochel provides up to date scientific research, along with thousand year old trusted wisdom of the holistic approach to health and wellness. Learn to live a natural and balanced life in every area of your life. 

26. Momentum Gathering Katie Tallo is one amazing and talented writer. She brought a new puppy home and is currently working on a novel. It makes me savor her infrequent posts even more.

I couldn't possibly include all of my friends and favorite blogs. I welcome you to add your blog or the blog of a friend in the comments below!

This video is about rejection. It's short and clear!

Are you feeling rejected by a friend who has moved on, a date who has lost interest, or a bank that refuses to give you a loan?

If you don't understand rejection it can be devastating. If you do, rejection may be uncomfortable but it doesn't stop the flow of your day or your life. 

Read on for tips that can help you bounce back from feelings of rejection:

Be gentle with yourself. 

Weather you need a job or want a date, the "no" word can throw you off your center. Don't take it personally. Give yourself a break. Listen to music, take a nap, go for a walk. Change your emotional state.

Create a positive story. 

Watch your negative self-talk after you are rejected. You'll find yourself saying, "I'm not smart enough, good enough or special enough."

Train yourself to believe that there is something better for you. Expect the best.

Everyone gets turned down.

It's not about you. It's about the timing, the position, the question or the circumstances. You can't see the big picture. You have no idea what's really going on.

Don't focus on rejection.

Don't dwell on it, don't over analyze it, and don't over talk it to others. It is what it is.  Ruminating over your loss is a waste of time and energy. It blocks solutions.

Be here now.

Stay in the present moment. Stay out of the pain of the past or fear of the future. Breathe. Smile. 

Move on.

Let it go. Relax. Try something different. When you catch yourself falling back, remind yourself that you're moving forward. 

Forgive yourself.

If you didn't prepare, if you showed up late, if you behaved badly, forgive yourself. Figure out how to do better the next time. Then do it!

It's an opportunity to grow.

Rejection can make you stronger, wiser, and tougher. What did you learn from the experience? What is your lesson?

Seek out rejection.

When you dream big and dare to do the unthinkable you will be rejected more often. For every no you receive, you're closer to your yes.

Look for new opportunities. 

Remain optimistic. When one door closes a window opens. 

Be Bold, ask again and ask often.

When someone tells you "no," nothing has changed. You're in the same position you were in before you asked.

When you shift your perception like this it gives you the momentum to keep asking. Think of rejection as an effort instead of failure.

The mark of an Authentic Life
is when we are no longer
willing to contain our Greater Self
just to avoid discomfort.

Your life has a Higher Purpose
than seeking approval.

If you offer your life
to your Grandest Vision,
it will free the Genius with you.

Can you feel the urge to offer more? ~ Josh Cohen

Print this out and tape it to your wall. Read it before your next request. Memorize it. If you aren't being rejected,  you aren't moving forward!

If you want strengthen the love in your relationship, check out my teleseminar, "Create Your Own Love Story:How to Go from Ho-hum to Juicy, Fun, and Lovable!" Sign us today!

In July 2009, Dr. Lee Lipsenthal happily married and the father of two children was diagnosed with esophageal cancer.  Lee was an internist and medical director of Dean Ornish’s Preventive Medicine Research Institute.

• In his book, Enjoy Every Sandwich, Lee navigates his diagnosis, illness, and treatment, with meaning, purpose and peace.

  Lee credits his life time practices of meditation, gratitude, prayer and connection with others for allowing him to become more fully alive and fearless in the face of uncertainty and death.

  What I enjoyed most about the book was the techniques Dr. Lee used while he was living to make sense of his world while he was alive.

  These are only a few gems from Enjoy Every Sandwich that Dr. Lee shares that allow us to embrace our humanity, judge less, and love more as we make sense of our everyday living.

•   Make unconditional love a practice. When you become annoyed with someone you love, breathe in, remembering all the good about that person.

• ·         Remember, fun stuff happens every day, life is an adventure, and death is no longer something to fear.

• Find joy in your work. Write down the parts of your days that give you pleasure or excitement. Reflect on what energizes you and the coworkers you love. Increase those aspects of your life.
  
• Be committed to make a difference, live life on your own terms. Continue to play, create, and love. Make opportunity out of every obstacle.

·         You have no control when it comes to the big picture of life. Learn to enjoy it in all of its suffering and pain. This concept is liberating if you can relax and accept it.

My mom passed away last year. I not only had the honor to hold her hand and witnessed it; I spent many days prior by her bedside, soaking in her presence. She was 90 years old and knew her time was near. She told me she had no fear, she had a good life.

In December, hubs and I went to my grandson’s 3^rd birthday party. My mom had a close relationship with daughter No.2, Henri’s mom.  As we parked the car, I “felt” my mom’s presence like never before. I said to hubs, “Mom is here, she has come for the party.” 

I didn’t think any more about it. After the party was over Niki asked if anyone wanted a glass of wine.  I noticed the name on the label was, “Seven Daughters.” My mom had 7 daughters and three sons.This book brought back good memories about my mom, death, family, and the meaning of life.

This book will help you embrace life, accept uncertainty, and live with a heart of gratitude and love.

I will be giving away three copies of the book. To be eligible leave a comment below, tweet this post, or share it on Facebook and Google +.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm offering a Teleseminar on February 16th, Create Your Own Love Story! If you want to increase the sizzle and spark in your relationship be sure to check it out.

Please share this information with anyone that you think it may interest!

1. Offer others your wisdom.
2. Don't give unasked for advice.
3. Create a healthy diet and stick to it!
4. Pay for your dates dinner.
5. Plant a tree.
6. Learn to love yourself.
7. Stop whining. Change what you complain about. Let the rest go.
8. Get involved in something you believe in.
9. Believe in yourself. 
10. Enjoy your journey.
11. Learn how to deal with anger, yours, and others.
12. Use music to change your mood.
13. Compliment others often. Never leave kind words unsaid.
14. Don't save your good stuff for later.
15. Affection isn't earned, it's freely given.
16. Live with less of everything…except love.
17. Visit Alaska.
18. Have a “Yes” so big it allows you to say “No.”
19. Learn how to say, “No, that’s not going to work for me.”  Don’t offer an excuse.
20. Stop buying expensive coffee.
21. Use the money saved for a trip at the end of the year.
22. Buy a good pair of New Balance athletic shoes and walk or run consistently.
23. Learn how to receive. Just say, “Thank you!”
24. Learn to enjoy reading.
25. Admit when you’re wrong.
26. Let others have the last word.
27. Let go of quilt. It's wasted energy.
28. Touch the people you love.
29. Paint something.
30. Respect yourself. Don't tolerate abuse.
31. Learn to apologize.
32. Learn to dislike fast food.
33. Eat mindfully.
34. Change the oil in your car regularly.
35. Never visit someone empty handed.
36. Be who you are.
37. Understand and accept your weaknesses and shortcomings. Everyone has them.
38. Always hold the door open for the person behind you.
39. Call your mother today. Better yet, send her chocolates.
40. Spend time listening to a child’s laugh.
41. Find out what brings you joy. Then do it.
42. Learn about fine art and classical music.
43. Create your own health program.
44. Take responsibility for your own happiness.
45. Listen to your gut. It's never wrong. Never.
46. Keep your surroundings neat and clean.
47. Practice compassion and loving kindness.
48. Learn about a different culture.
49. Celebrate your strengths and successes.
50. Allow yourself pleasure.
51. Keep a gratitude journal.
52. Make the first move. Don't keep score of who did what last.
53. Learn how to fix things. Over time it will save you a fortune.
54. Tap into your own genius.
55. Decide fear won't stop you.
56. Learn to deal with rejection. Everyone won't give you what you want.
57. Create a vision for your future.
58. Refuse to participate in uncomfortable situations.
59. Create romance in your relationship. 
60. Smile more.
61. Laugh frequently. It's a good thing.
62. Listen to someone you disagree with. Remain neutral.
63. Change a habit. Then change another.
64. Get outside and smell the day.
65. Always leave a big tip. Teach that the world is a generous place.
66. Stop blaming others for your misery.
67. Focus on one task at a time.
68. Spend one day working in the fields with migrant workers. Then ask yourself if they are taking our jobs.
69. Send thank you cards the old fashioned way.
70. Wear sunscreen.
71. Volunteer in a children’s cancer ward.
72. Go the extra mile.
73. Walk your date to the door.
74. Be courageous. Break up with someone face to face.
75. Learn what projection and how to accept it.
76. Don’t take things personally.
77. What people do is about them. How you respond is about you.
78. Bring flowers to someone. Buy a single stem for yourself.
79. Write poetry. It soothes your soul.
80. Count your blessings. When is the last time you were grateful for your refrigerator?
81. Be inspired by slam poetry. What a skill.
82. Be impeccably groomed. Dress up on low energy days.
83. Enjoy chocolate.
84. Learn to change your emotional state.
85. Forgive your parents.
86. Write down what you promise others.
87. Do the work.
88. Practice gratitude.
89. Agree to disagree.
90. Be willing to compromise.
91. Love toxic people from a distance.
92. Remain true to your dreams and visions.
93. Eliminate all forms of negative media from you life.
94. Live the life you’ve imagined.
95. Be true to yourself.
96. Embrace the present.
97. Just begin.
98. Give thanks in advance.
99. Use your imagination.
100. Collaborate with others.
101. Learn to admit, “I don’t know.”
102. Find something to believe in.
103. Get the help you need.
104. Learn how to cook.
105. Dare to be your best.
106. Take risks. Do what scares  you.
107. See beauty in world.
108. Celebrate what’s right with the world.
109. Do something brilliant every day.
110. Encourage  others.
111. Make a difference.
112. Continue to learn something new.
113. Mentor someone.
114. Learn to be frugal.
115. Spend time with children and the elderly.
116. Be honest about your taxes.
117. Wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day.
118. Don’t bet against yourself. Believe in yourself.
119. Don’t clutter your mind or environment.
120. Give anonymously.
121. Don’t believe your own thoughts.
122. Drop your story. 
123. ump for joy.
124. Take naps.
125. Expect the best.
126. End your relationship before you sleep with someone else.
127. Learn how to meditate. 
128. Don’t text and drive.
129. Be happy for the success of others.
130. Don’t drink and drive.
131. Don’t drink, text, and drive.
132. Be inspired. Read and listen to good stuff.
133. Remember this too shall pass, it always has and always will.
134. Learn how to express yourself intelligently.
135. Be a mindful driver.
136. Thank a teacher.
137. Become a mentor.
138. Appreciate nature.
139. Be the love you want to find.
140. Notice small things; a blade of grass, a snowflake, tree bark.
141. Surround yourself with happy people.
142. Don't think about your problems. Solve them.
143. Give up control and manipulation.
144. Positively anticipate the future.
145. Learn how to grow things.
146. Where you find love lacking, offer love.
147. Spend less time at work and more time at play.
148. Learn self-restraint.
149. Learn how to relax. 
150. Be bold!

Check out my interview on The Happy Seeker, Christopher is 79 years old…the oldest, youngest blogger I know!

Source: inspirational-pictures.com

This is a guest post from Stuart Mills.

"Remember that life is short and death is long." – Fritz Shoulder

Some people associate being bold with being loud, extroverted, and outgoing, and that if we don’t have any of these qualities then we aren’t confident within ourselves.

If you are one of those who believe this, then I have something to share with you – you don’t have to be any of these things to be bold.

Loud Is Not Bold

You don’t have to shout out how bold you are in order to get others to think that you are bold. And you don’t have to spend all your time trying to impress others with your willingness to do anything. Being bold doesn’t work like that.

In order to be bold, it has to come from a different place. It has to come from our strong sense of self-belief, and a view that we don’t have to impress anyone in order to love ourselves.

Being loud is different from this – as we believe being loud shows confidence, we try and dominate conversations with our friends, family, and even our co-workers. We try to ensure we socialise every evening, and we try and achieve more and more so that we impress everyone who could possibly get the chance to view us and what we do. The motto becomes, “If you haven’t got anything to show off, then you haven’t got anything.”

But being bold can, and often is, different from being loud. Boldness comes from a strong self-belief that we can overcome any limits, and that we can choose to live our lives regardless of what anyone else says. Loudness comes from a limited self-belief that we must put on a front and try to impress everyone with our wit and dominant socialising.

The two characteristics are not the same. Allow me to use myself as an example.

Being Bold And Quiet

Around 8-9 years ago, I used to think that in order to be seen as likeable, confident, and a ‘great guy’, you had to speak with a loud voice. I thought that you had to be outgoing, willing to do anything to keep up with the crowd, and take part in whatever seemed ‘cool’ at the time. I honestly believed that if I didn’t do any of this, then I would view myself as a ‘failure’, and I would have let people down. That’s how much I associated being bold with being loud at the time.

I can’t remember the time when I changed my way of thinking, but as I got older and I began to have more experiences in life, I began to encounter people who were quiet on the outside, but possessed a confidence within them that was as strong as iron. They would barely speak up in group situations, but they didn’t appear nervous or scared in the slightest. And when they did speak, they spoke with an elegance and sense of calm that ‘made’ you stop and listen to them. I realised that, although these people didn’t speak nearly as much as others who would talk as if their life depended on it, they were listened to far more.

The more I encountered these people, the more they started to have an effect on my thinking. I began to realise that there was an alternative way to be bold, a way that didn’t involve a constant pressure to speak or to be heard. This way involved being calm, being confident within oneself, and being ready to be loud only when needed.

I knew that this ‘other’ way was more appealing to me – I could do what I wanted and not let everyone know about it. I could live my life by my own rules, and not feel that I had to conform to anyone else.

Little by little, I changed my way of living to fit this new way. I began to experience less pressure when I reminded myself that I can speak when I had something useful to say. I began to experience more inner peace when I told myself that I was being bold in being quiet. And finally, I began to feel bold when I did something that I knew was right for me, even when, and especially when, no-one else thought it was right.

Today, I know a lot more about life and the world, and my outlook of myself has changed. No longer am I loud for the sake of it. I will be the first to admit that I am softly spoken (and perfectly OK with it), and that I prefer spending time alone or with loved ones rather than with the crowd, doing what the crowd wants.

Yet, I view myself as bold. If you ask anyone that knows me quite well, they will say that I am bold. I may not appear bold to outsiders, but that is just an illusion created by the same belief that I had 8-9 years ago. I know deep down inside that I am a bold individual, despite my quietness and my apparent introversion.

Now, I wouldn’t share all this with you if I didn’t believe that you could benefit from it.

How To Be Quietly Bold

There are 3 ways that I’ve picked out from my experiences that will help you become bold without resorting to being loud.

·         Listen To What Others Say

There are plenty of people in this world who either love to talk, or feel that they have to talk. If you enter into a conversation with such a person, let them talk. Listen to them and give them the satisfaction that they crave. Resist talking too much yourself in case you interrupt them. By allowing the other person to talk as much as they want, you gain a double benefit – you value them as an individual, and you get to hear what they have to say. It may be valuable.

·         Pick Out The Useful Bits And Chuck The Rest

On that note, it’s important to realise that not all of what people say is useful. Some of it is completely irrelevant to you, and some of it can be harmful. For example, letting someone criticise you is good for them to feel that they’ve been heard, but it could be bad for you if you take the criticism personally. It may reduce your self-belief.

To combat this, listen carefully to what the other is saying. Pick out that which is useful or helpful to you in some way. This may be something that you did wrong, or some way in which you can improve. Take the core advice from the message, and dismiss the rest. Dismiss all the venom and trash that the other may be verbally throwing at you. You only need the main piece of advice, so why bother with the rest? Sort the diamond from the rough, and close the conversation as soon as possible.

·         Be Loud Only When You Have To

As previously mentioned, I encountered some people who would speak up only when they felt it was necessary, and kept quiet otherwise. This inner resolve that they displayed meant that they weren’t completely silent – they could be loud if they thought it had to be done.

Speak up when you feel you absolutely have to. If it’s your turn to speak in a meeting, take your turn and be loud, but without shouting. Be loud so that people hear you and understand you, but no more. If you reserve your shows of boldness for times when it’s necessary, others will realise this and come to respect you more.

Remember that to be bold doesn’t mean you have to be loud – boldness is born within, and stays within. 

Stuart Mills is a personal development enthusiast who wants to help you unlock your potential so you can help yourself. You can find him at Unlock The Door where he makes his virtual home, and at Twitter.

photo by Evgeni Dinev

Please share you thoughts below!

 Fail harder.

~On wall Facebook headquarters

3. When you can't choose between two evenly balanced courses of action to take, choose the bolder. ~ W.J. Slim

4. Let us be bold. Let us be brave. Let us be together. ~ Brad Henry

5. Originality implies being bold enough to go beyond accepted norms. ~ Anthony Storr

Against the bold, daring is unsafe.

~ Ovid

7. Live daringly, boldly, fearlessly. Taste the relish to be found in competition – in having put forth the best within you. ~James Kaiser  
  
8. You have exactly one life in which to do everything you’ll ever do. Act accordingly ~ Collin Wright

9. All good fortune is a gift of the gods, and you don't win the favor of the ancient gods by being good, but by being bold. ~Anita Brookner

Boldness be my friend. 

~ William Shakespeare

11. Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve some bold adventure, worthy of our trip. ~ Aristophanes 
 

12. The fact is that you know you could be living a bigger, better, bolder life than you are now. ~ Corbet Barr
 

13. Over the next four years, we will be bold. We will be willing to experiment. We will not fear failure. ~ Matt Blunt
  

14. We're getting really bold now. We'll just go right up to someone and ask them. ~ Christine Richerds

15. Without faith nothing is possible with it, nothing is impossible. ~ Mary McLeod Bethune

16. How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved. ~ Sigmund Freud 

You have exactly one life 
in which to do everything 
you’ll ever do. Act accordingly.  
~ Collin Wright 

18. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. ~Helen Keller

19. Boldness be my friend. ~ William Shakespeare

20. Aggressive play is a vital asset of the world’s greatest golfers. However, it’s even more important to the average player. Attack this game in a bold, confident, and determined way, and you’ll make a giant leap toward realizing your full potential as a player. ~ Greg Norman 

21. Be bold and boast, just like the cock beside the hen. ~ Aeschylus 
             
22. Boldness is business is the first, second, and third thing. ~ H. G. Bohn

23. Begin, be bold and venture to be wise. ~ Horace

Freedom lies in being bold.

~ Robert Frost

25. Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory. ~ Alan Alda 

26. Everything I put my name to and take part in, I want to be good. That's not saying it will always happen. But I want to make bold choices. ~ Michael Fassbender

27. Freedom lies in being bold. ~ Robert Frost

28. He is the best man who, when making his plans, fears and reflects on everything that can happen to him, but in the moment of action is bold. ~Herodotus

Fortune befriends the bold. 

~ Emily Dickinson

30. How does the Meadow flower its bloom unfold? Because the lovely little flower is free down to its root, and in that freedom bold. ~William Wordsworth

31. I choose bold. I choose action. I choose what's right for the people. I choose to make a difference. ~ Bill Richardson

   Let us be bold.
  Let us be brave.
   Let us be together. 

              ~ Brad Henry

33. If we would guide by the light of reason we must let our minds be bold. ~ Louis D. Brandeis

34. Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory. ~ Alan Alda

35. We need to be visonary; we have to be bold. ~Angela Hunt

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

~On wall at Facebook headquarters

37. Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold. ~ Herbert Spencer

38. Be bold. If you’re going to make an error, make a doozy, and don’t be afraid to hit the ball. ~ Billy Jean King

39. No discovery was ever made without a bold guess. ~ Issac Newton

40. At commencement you wear you square-shape mortarboards. My  hope is that from time t time you will let your minds be bold, and where sombreros. ~ Paul Freund

41. Our solutions must be beyond anything we have ever considered, we should not be afraid to try bold new approaches. ~ Mary Landrieu

Without risks there is no reward.

43. Courage is the greatest of all the virtues, because if you haven't courage, you may not have an opportunity to use any of the others. ~ Samuel Johnson

44. Fortune befriends the bold. ~ John Dryden

45. It's better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong wrong than to agonize at length and be right too late. ~ Marily Moats Kennedy

46. Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare the truth thou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it everywhere: They only live who dare. ~ Voltaire

47.  Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough. ~ Unknown                                                                           

48. All our problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them. Touch a thistle timidly, and it pricks you; grasp it boldly, it’s spines crumble. ~ W. J. Slim

 Be bold, be bold,
and everywhere be bold. 

 ~ Herbert Spencer

50. The first symptom of love in a young man is shyness; the first symptom in a woman, it's boldness. ~ Victor Hugo

51. Live daringly, boldly, fearlessly. Taste the relish to be found in competition – in having put forth the best within you. ~ Henry J. Kaiser

52. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen events, meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would have come their way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now! ~ Goethe

I don't know what the future holds, 
but I know  who holds the future.

~ Oprah Winfrey

54. Those who take bold chances don’t think failure is the opposite of success. They believe complacency is.
~ Unknown

55. All the problems become smaller if you don't dodge them, but confront them. Touch a thistle timidly, and it pricks you; grasp it boldly, its spines crumble. ~ William S. Halsey 

56. If you choose something that's really bold, it can really stand on its own. ~ Aimee Sands                              

57. Some consider setbacks a badge of honor, unmistakable proof they’re bold risk takers. Far from hiding their blunders, they brag about them. ~ Unknown 

Rock bottom became a 
solid foundation on 
which I rebuilt my life. 
~J. K. Rowlings, Harvard Commencement Speech 

58. All courses of action are risky, so prudence is not in avoiding danger (it's possible), but calculating risk and acting decisively. Make mistakes of ambition and not mistakes of sloth. Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer.  ~ Niccolo Machiavelli

59. The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper the country demands bold, persistent experimentation. It is common sense to take a method and try it: If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

The millions who are in want will not stand by silently forever while the things to satisfy their need are within easy reach. We need enthusiasm, imagination and the ability to face facts, even unpleasant ones, bravely. 

We need to correct, by drastic means if necessary, the faults in our economic system from which we now suffer. We need the courage of the young. Yours is not the task of making your way in the world, but the task of remaking the world which you will find before you. 

May every one of us be granted the courage, the faith and the vision to give the best that is in us to that remaking! ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt 

60. Put a little boldess in everything you do. ~Baltasar Gracian

I would appreciate it if you would share this on Twitter, Facebook, or Google +!