The Booth of Our Conniving

Thoughts on what purpose did i serve in your life by Marie Calloway

2013-05-30T22:43:00.000-04:00

Not exactly a review, but a comment I left on Adam Robinson's Goodreads review:

As someone who once had sex with the author, I found the book mildly interesting on a personal level, but that's about it. I dispute the idea that the abusive type of criticism you mention here—and the kind she talks about in the book—is the only kind of criticism that might be leveled against her work. I have no problem with the author as a person, or with her lifestyle. In fact I heartily endorse her experimentation—perhaps even to a reckless degree do I endorse it, having contributed to it firsthand—and I would never dream of discouraging her from writing about herself or anything she chooses. And if she's making bad decisions or is even mentally ill or if her behavior is an attempt to cope with past trauma, all the more reason to be compassionate rather than hateful.

But as for the writing? She just doesn't have the chops, in musician parlance. Not yet, anyway. Whatever interesting ideas she may have are not coming through, because the prose is so poor. Before trying to make music, she should learn how to tune her instrument. She also doesn't seem willing or able to fully explore and elaborate her ideas. There are brief flashes of insight in places, but they aren't developed, only hinted at.

Actually, my criticism of her writing isn't really directed toward the author—who is young and may be forgiven for being somewhat green—but to the people who publish her. Did this book have an editor, or even a proofreader? Anyone who might know the difference between "lying" and "laying"? Or who might be able to see why "He went and walked and sat down" is a poorly constructed phrase? It really irritates me whenever I see a press fail its authors by neglecting to hold them to basic standards of grammar and style.

I certainly applaud the author's bravery, and I hope with time and experience she'll learn how to express herself in writing that is engaging and revelatory, rather than merely "provocative," which by itself is not that provocative at all.

My five favorite books of 2013 so far

2013-05-29T11:31:00.003-04:00

I've finished 26 books in 2013. I'm on pace to finish 62 by the end of the year. Here are my favorite five so far, in alphabetical order by author.

Shadow Train by John Ashbery

I finally found this one at the Strand. It's one of the few books of his that I didn't have. Every poem has four stanzas with four lines each.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon

I found this one at a really cool and messy store in Chicago.

The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach

This is the first book about baseball I've read in a long time, probably since I was a kid. It also involved Herman Melville and references to Moby-Dick, which is why I'm now reading Moby-Dick (which will probably end up being my #1 book this year).

The Enchantment of Lily Dahl by Siri Hustvedt

Very suspenseful, vivid, and mysterious.

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed

I didn't expect to like this because it's such a bestseller, so this was a nice surprise. It made me think about wanting to get into hiking. Not necessarily the same trail, but maybe the Appalachian Trail, which I've thought about from time to time. Maybe as a long-term life goal. I'd have to learn a lot about the outdoors first. I've never even been camping, or even slept outdoors.

2013-05-28T22:33:00.003-04:00

Feb. 13, 1992
Thursday

Tomorrow is Meg's birthday party. Her birthday was yesterday. She is eight years old. We had some cake and ice cream and opened some presents. I'm going to her party tomorrow. It's at the bowling alley. I think I'm just going bowl. Not with the other little wimpy girls. But at least she didn't invite Holly and Jollegan. I really hate them.

Also tomorrow I'm helping out at the dance with the cub scouts. I don't know what we are going to do there. It doesn't interupt my plans. I don't want to dance anyway.

2013-05-23T23:50:00.000-04:00

Feb. 12, 1992
Wednesday

That wallpaper guy still isn't done. I knew he couldn't do it in one day. Yesterday he was supposed to have a helper come with him but the helper didn't come. So we think he will get it done today. We still have the whole kitchen and a little bit more blue to do. Im home now. The wallpaper is all done it looks neat.

I have guitar lessons tonight. I am going to start on cords. I was just practicing upstairs. It's real frustrating when you get something wrong. I don't know if I spelled frustrating right.

2013-05-16T22:52:00.001-04:00

Feb. 11, 1992
Tuesday

Our wallpaper is neat! actully it's boring but since it's new it looks neat and it's not all up yet. The kind we have up so far is dark blue with little flowers on it. We're putting something else in the kitchen. I forget how it looks. I have one and a have lines to go and Ill have have a page to go from where I started. But now I'm more than halve way.

Brian is going to borrow Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. I hope he brings something I can borrow from him.

2013-05-12T10:11:00.002-04:00

Feb. 10, 1992
Monday

Today we're getting new wall paper. (actully we never had any wallpaper). I wonder what it looks like. The guy says he can put it up in one day. I don't think he can. Because there is alot to do.

We have a test about outer space Wednesday. We had a paper to do today it was easy.

I can't think of anything to say today. Today is kind of boring. But I did set my watch yesterday!

2013-05-07T23:07:00.001-04:00

Feb. 7, 1992
Friday

Tomorrow we finally have a basketball game. We haven't had one for three weeks. It told about us in the paper for Wednesday I think. We have practice tonight. I hope we don't lose it on this game. But we are playing an easy team.

I don't think I have any homework today. We have a substitute. And Mrs. Hayden didn't leave us much work. She left a half an hour for every subject.

I hope I get to live to be 38 years old.

NaPoWriMo

2013-04-01T10:45:00.001-04:00

I'm doing it. But not here. I'm doing it here. Enjoy, if you dare.

2013-03-28T23:40:00.000-04:00

Feb. 6, 1992
Thursday

Tonight I have cub scouts. Last night they had a morse code class. I didn't want to come. I have to have a secret code I made up. I had one but it's stupid so I won't do it. I have to think of another one.

Thursday is the most boring day of the school week. All we do is have music and learn stuff.

I'm glad tomorrow is Friday.

I'm almost done with my report on president Roosevelt.

2013-03-27T22:30:00.000-04:00

Feb. 4 [sic], 1992
Wednesday

I have guitar lessons tonight. We got a stand for me to put my book on when I practice. We also got a stool from the attic. I think I'm getting kind of good. I was sick last time so I couldn't go. I had extra time to practice.

I can't wait until Saturday. We will finally have a game. Then it will be almost three weeks since our last game.

I went to the doctor yesterday. He said I have cough asthma. Athletes sometimes get that. I get it sometimes when I play basketball.

2013-03-22T21:31:00.000-04:00

Feb. 4, 1992
Tuesday

Today we had art. We made dragons. Like the ones we made in second grade only smaller. On one piece of paper.

Today we got to choose a president to write about. I chose Theodore Roosevelt.

I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute. Okay I'm back.

Tomorrow I have guitar lessons, today Meg has piano, yesterday, Meg had brownies, Thursday, Meg has dance, I have cub scouts, and Saturday, I have a game.

2013-03-21T22:08:00.000-04:00

Feb. 3, 1992
Monday

I got my new glasses. I like them there black. I have to take them off at night and wear my old glasses at night to watch t.v.

Speaking of t.v. there's no reruns tonight. That's good.

It was fun in gym today. We played that game where you have to hit the ball past the other teams line.

I think I have Basketball practice tommorow.

I don't like this journal.

2013-03-20T23:09:00.000-04:00

Jan. 31, 1992
Friday

It's been a long week. I'm glad it's almost over.

I have basketball practice tonight. Our game was canselled. They were having a banquet. All the games were not going on. Since I didn't have a game I could go to cub scouts.

Tommorrow I'm getting a haircut. I might get to go to time out. I have 95 tickets. I don't have any homework yet. I hope I dont because then I would have to do it on Saturday.

Tommorow is Febuary. Darn. I don't like Febuary. I don't like Feb. 3, 10, 17, or 24th.

[In parentheses above "canselled", "banquet", "tommorrow", and "tommorow" I wrote "sp" to indicate questionable spelling. "Time Out" was the name of a video arcade in the local mall. "Feb. 3, 10, 17, or 24th" refers to all the Mondays in "Febuary", you see.]

2013-03-19T22:41:00.000-04:00

Jan. 30, 1992
Thursday

Today we had music. It was not fun.

Brian finished our project yesterday. Except for painting the bottom. I wish I wasn't sick yesterday.

I have a basketball game tonight. We're playing Met trucking. We're going to beat them. We had practice Tuesday. We worked on the same play we always do. We're good in practice, but we never do it in a game. I can't wait untill the week is over. It's been a bad one. I don't know why.

2013-03-18T00:16:00.000-04:00

Jan. 28, 1992
Tuesday

Brian brought boxes today. We started covering up the boxes with paper. That's all we've done. We're going to paint the cardboard bottom Thursday.

We're going to Disney World this summer. Were going to be in an apartment like hotel with two bedrooms and a kitchen. It will be fun. I've only been there once.

I don't have much to write today.

2013-03-14T22:26:00.002-04:00

Jan. 27, 1992
Monday

Today isn't a very bad Monday. Today we get to start on our projects. Me and Brian are going to build a pueblo. Brian is going to bring in some boxes the day before Wednesday. (I can't spell tommorow.)

The Redskins won! That's who I wanted to win. It was kind of a boring game. The Redskins were leading all the way. We went to the Britton's house. They were having a super bowl party. It was fun.

We have gym today.

2013-03-13T23:04:00.000-04:00

Jan. 24, 1992
Friday

Today is Shawn's birthday party. I'm going. I might be late because I have basketball practice from 5:00 to 7:00. The party starts at 7:00.

We get report cards today. I will probobly get an A or an A- in spelling. I probobly got a C in Work study habits or conduct.

Last night at the pinewood derby race Mr. Morris was one of the judges. I was in three races. I won one and lost two. It was fun anyway.

[On the next page is the following entry for the same day, but it's very strange and I have no idea what it means. I think this journal was a school assignment—there's a slip of paper stapled inside the front cover with the words "Matt's journal" and "B+" in a grown-up's handwriting—and this entry might be a response to some kind of prompt from the teacher. Who knows.]

Jan. 24, 1992
Friday

I don't know. I never really thought about it. I guess it's o.k. I try to be like them sometimes, and sometimes I am different.

2013-03-13T16:36:00.000-04:00

ON THE WAY

Time to check my stats against the grain of the everyday
As reluctant researchers peel their eyes for me. Nothing softens
Their razor's pledge quite like a dodge to define the significance
Of a shadow slipped on to "get more comfortable" by accident
Or otherwise. (That's for the emergency exit for me to know
And you to find out.) Our fellow passengers might have deemed me
A window unfit for seeing through, but I'd rather not attempt to
Think about the distance that puts between us. I don't need help getting old,
After all. At the risk of sounding like a lost boy asleep, let's melt
Below the snow that loves us lest the sun finds out we're here.

2013-03-12T22:54:00.002-04:00

Jan. 23, 1992
Thursday

Tonight I have a pack meeting. We will have the pinewood derby race. My car only wieghes 3 ounces.

Last night I had guitar lessons. I think I learned five notes. E, f, g, c, and d. I'm not very good.

Everybody came to my party last night. All we did was eat pizza, play air hockey, open presents, play with footballs, and play nintendo. I beat Michael Allen on Bases Loaded 3, 23-1. My party was fun.

2013-03-11T21:41:00.000-04:00

Jan. 22, 1992

Wednesday

Today is my birthday. Do you know what I got this morning. You probobly don't. I got an air hockey table. I tried it this morning. It works. Everybody who comes gets a little nerf football. That's what we got last night. I'm glad the cleaning ladies aren't coming today. My room won't be clean for my party (or anything else). I like it that way.

I have guitar lessons tonight. My party is from 5:30 to 7:30, and my guitar lessons are at 8:00. It works out.

2013-03-11T09:50:00.000-04:00

The view from my 10th floor room at the Royal Sonesta in Boston. I didn't realize I framed the exact same shot both times.

2013-03-07T23:49:00.000-05:00

Jan. 21, 1992
Tuesday

Yesterday was Martin Luther King Jr. day. That's why we didn't have school.

We won our basketball game last night. It was 43-19. We are 13-0 now. We have practice Friday.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Tonight me and my dad are going to go get some party favors. I am inviting Brian, Carson, Shawn, Michael A. and I was going to invite John, but I remembered he is at Disney World.

2013-03-06T23:06:00.000-05:00

Jan. 17, 1991 [1992]
Friday

I like Friday. The week is finally over.

Yesterday night I was supposed to have a den meeting. But when I got there, there wasn't anybody there. I don't know where they were.

There are good things on t.v. tonight. I like Friday because the next day is Saturday.

I have basketball practice tonight. I think I have a game Monday.

It's only 9:41 a.m. right now. Nothing very interesting has happened yet. Exept for a new desk arrangement.

2013-03-06T15:17:00.000-05:00

LOCATIONS NEARBY

Locations nearby are reporting pain. An open book
Is supposed to appear here soon; step up to it,
Angry at no misfortune. To hear yourself above
The swarming conifers, swipe your card harder.
Enlist the freezing rain in a life of white noise,
Your protector. Hey, look! I’m little again,
Past the abandoned retirement age.
If you’re a couple arm-in-arm
In the attic of my heart please find
Lucky buttons, shivering skins, an empty hand.
Outside, observation fails. Tickets to witness
The dead tree are hard to come by. Blue eyes shine
Out from winter’s dullest hollows, complicating
Notions of where to go next. Wanting daily puzzles,
I scan the news, read of lovers unsolved.

2013-03-05T23:53:00.000-05:00

Jan. 16, 1992
Thursday

Tonight I have cub scouts. There were some things I had to do in my book. I also need to make a shield. I have not even started on those things yet. Thursday or Friday I had a den meeting. I also had a basketball game. So I went to about the first 15 or 20 minutes. Then I had to go to my game. It must have been Thursday because Friday I was sick. Shawn or Brandon was going to tell me what I need to do in my book, and how to do my shield. Today me and my dad are going to work on my shield. I hate music.