All Riots Reserved

Why this kolaveri, Copyrioter?

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 09:26:00 +0000

Because I'm a copywriter, that's why. And that's my cat.
And advertising knuckleheads can break their heads, making strategies and devising plans. Shit works, and that's all the insight you need.

Copyrioter meets the Dude

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 07:55:00 +0000

I'm glad to be in the same time zone as Coen brothers. That means, there's still some worm for the dying generation of mocking birds like me.
I seriously dread the day when I may have seen all their films. Now who one can question such loyalty... that makes me choose them against me on weekends? So, I decided to straighten my darkening brow of stress with a dose of Coen humour, this yesterday. Not that.

There's no story here, just the impunity of being me. As I ventured into the known territories of Google to search for their filmography, I came across a list of some dude's personal 'Coen favourites'. Dude's called cthulu48.
You gotta meet the dude, here. He's doing a service to the humanity, on social media as well.

This is funny to people like me. And those who have watched Big Lebowski.

Life in quotes

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 08:27:00 +0000

Childhood:
"I don't like kids who don't look like kids...kids with serious faces and mature eyes".

Youth:
"They just want to know you...that's why they are harassing you."

Impending middle age:
"People are asking if you're alright."

P.S.The general public's fear of the unknown is no longer hilarious, just plain stupid and annoying. Being different only pays if you're a gadget or a fashion trend.

The educated ego

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 15:08:00 +0000

Education can liberate mind. Yet, all it does now is inflate egos and elevate noses. A whole new generation of information hawks and learned fools is waiting to teach the veterans a lessons or two. Not that I'm at the place to call myself a veteran, but I'm learning.

Copyrioter cares

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 09:33:00 +0000

(Click to enlarge)

There isn't much you have to do really.

The Big Idea

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:32:00 +0000

Is it the strategic route? Is it the single-minded proposition at the end of a wasted hour? Is it in the execution? Or is it a tool?

Or is it the blankness digging deep into my head; or the madness choking in the world of plans and diagrams?

Who the fuck knows.

Be Good This Friday

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 08:31:00 +0000

Keep that hand busy. Keep fiddling, our age needs a new disease. Let it be the fracture of fingers. Or digital dementia, if you please.

Blog to death

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 12:41:00 +0000

One terrible day, I was looking for those obnoxious 'blogger award badges', the ones these kids fix on the side-walls of their blogs. Widgets, as you'd want me to say. My art partner needed a few samples and seemed to be hammered between work and deadlines. I (as all of us) have immense 'Google-search' powers, so I volunteered to find the images (I am not a good person, I just did it to prove the rule).

As one would expect, I had to unwillingly consume loads of blogshit while I jumped from one blog heap to another, looking for more and more 'awards'. I read a few posts too. Posts by writers; writers who write.

Internet has created a whole new generation of writers. And sure, their inanities are intense enough to put any real writer out of work.

For them, here's my joke from hell:

'Master, Man is intelligent. What should we do?'

'Let them think they are all writers.'

'How?'

'Give each one a blog'

'Yes, Master.'

'And now, Master?'

'21.12. 2012'

WTF! WTF! WTF!

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 08:56:00 +0000

Source: Inetgiant

Source:Inetgiant

Yes. Go ahead, get a pet tiger. Fangs are fashionable. Here's more to buy.

Reminds me of this award winning digital campaign. Yeah, the one that told us to write about it, talk about it and blog about it. Quite sophisticated. They obviously didn't save any tigers, but gained a lot of good publicity and grabbed our digital attention. I'm not sure about the awards. (And that's the purpose, as we know it).

Oh by the way, here's how you can exercise your right to be a white monkey. Or brown perhaps, we're all in the same zoo. Whatever the fuck.

p.s. it's not my fault if the first image doesn't click-through, it's Google.

neurotic poet's sobmania

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 11:26:00 +0000

The intern who evoked a poem

Like the baby

in his two steps

feels

the burden of a lifetime

I watch you

trudge along

with your rag & bit tales

you remind me

of nothing

for the years

are yet to add a life

But as Chaplin would have me believe

sometimes serious faces

can evoke a vulgar smile

And maybe now

you can understand the purpose

or the lack of one.

Previous sob stories:

A very small talk

The perpetual sickness

Advertising Magic

Job in the times of recession

Merry Christmas@Office.com

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 12:31:00 +0000

Courtesy: Cartoonchurch.com

Cheapest red wine available, Amul cheese on crackers and disharmonious singing replete with the spirit of Christmas.

Oh yeah.

Copyrioter is watching you

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 09:22:00 +0000

Honestly is the best policy. And this, coming from the horse's mouth, is a great admission. How many agencies actually have the courage to admit that their most hyped, high budgeted campaign was a mammoth failure?

On the other hand, every agency has the right to make a fool of themselves. Especially on social media.

neurotic poet's sobmania

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 10:37:00 +0000

Job in the times of recession

Have you heard the news lately?
The ungracious tilt
of many pens
has been straigtened
with broken tips
with a few unfortunate ones
clutching their pink slips
But we don't really care
as long as our names don't appear
on the enemy's list
As you know, after the long
civilized wars
with our capital ambitions
we are no strangers
with scandals in our Bohemia

Yet it was interesting when they told
how all were in a state of shock
for he was known to be a good one
and I
in that little burb above my head
can not fail to admit
Oh yes, he seemed to be a decent chap
He was no doubt, an employees' man
Yet for some desires unfertilized
he seems to have died a broken egg

You would as many then wonder
what works to keep your head above water
and I will point to many leaders
I have meekly observed and say,
It's not making money
but adding honey to money
that counts my friend'
dead cells proliferate
in love of their alternate selves
and sadly, you can't push curves
on square pegs

There's no apt proverb
that speaks of our age
So here's an old learning
I must force down your throats
Even Christ has to take a hike
when fools unite

Now, if you must take a plunge
inject a little bitterness
deep into your skin
and be a firm cancer unto this world
for these times go by a saying,
that I made up in my mind
the turtle must kill the rabbit
if he wants to win this time.

Previous sob stories:
A very small talk
The perpetual sickness
Advertising Magic
Proactive Lives

Random facts & learnings @agencies.com

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 12:44:00 +0000

I have been a copy head in an agency where I was the only copywriter!

A guy at an agency asked me if I'd like to go for a movie. I had no idea that he was 'asking me out'. So I went around asking everyone if they wanted to come too.

My first job in advertising was the funniest experience ever. I had a huge cabin to myself and my boss would apologize if he ever came in while I was chatting with my friends online!

At one of the agencies where I was a consultant for some time, I used to chat with this twenty something art guy. He was a conservative when it came to self-belief. In his universe, his 'expertise' was above all and it was fun hearing him unravel the mysteries of human nature and advertising politics to me. When he left the organization, he told someone, "Now that I won't be here, Copyrioter won't have any competition. Her road is clear."
You never know what the fools are thinking!!

p.s. I told the 'guy who hacked my e-mail' that I wanted to return books I had borrowed from him and that he should stop ranting about it on social media. He said, 'why do you have to see what I write on my profile?'

To put my response in his words, ROTFL.

Advertising story

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 07:35:00 +0000

There's nothing to say, I'm just adding a little more shit to my 'online presence'.

Moral: Never give up. Even when you have nothing to say, say something. Fools rule.

Copyrioter hates travelogues

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 08:09:00 +0000

Delhi-Haridwar-Rishikesh-Amritsar-Chamba-Dalhousie-Khajjiar. About 3 weeks through small towns, valleys, clouds, snow capped peaks, jungles, alone. Move on. Get a life.
Would you like to see the pictures? Yeah right.

No good karma for Copyrioter

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:25:00 +0000

Fake Copyrioter beats me hands down at Google search. What happened to my Google karma?

Top 5 things to do to make it big in digital advertising

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 09:20:00 +0000

1. Join groups on LinkedIn or Facebook relative to your position e.g. Digital media professionals in India, Online marketing specialists, Social media experts in Asia.

2. Write about yourself in third person when describing yourself on your blog, website or LinkedIn profile.

3. Talk reference, walk reference and stalk reference. Update your social network status with links to every new or old digital campaign.

4. Mark your attendance to every digital advertising workshop/ conference/ social media discussion on Facebook events and publish it to your social network wall. It is insignificant if you attend or sleep through the conference.

5. Announce your petty ass location with FourSquare wherever you go.

6. And most importantly, tweet before you speak.

The Killing Joke: Web -2.0

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:55:00 +0000

We are the Indians. We know only love, no brain, no art, no copy. We are not the humor but we are the giggles and the laughter.

Thank You,
Indian lovers
(Also please you visit the President's page)

Of my brand book

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 07:31:00 +0000

Superiority is a brand that needs no advertising to sell. Even today.

Random facts & learnings@agencies.com

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:47:00 +0000

A young servicing trainee in an agency was explaining to me the other day how an account planner's job is to guide, supervise and oversee creative work; and how they ARE the 'creative authority'. Only in the corporate agency world of a large multinational could she dare to think like that. But really, wow.

On a more planned note, this young boy from the land of headless bimbos & distraught creatives (nameless in his professional identity), advised me to read more books on 'advertising' and improve my knowledge. Yes, for a 23 year old that must have been a moment to remember. There was a copy of 'The Dirty Dozen' on his table. Well aligned.

Overheard in an agency: We don't want to just give an award winning idea; it has to make sense.

p.s. By virtue of being a consultant, I am often blessed with such shimmering daubs of wisdom. Across agencies and creative redundancies, in general.

Agit for the non believer

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Wed, 12 May 2010 09:52:00 +0000

Knowledge is a matter of recollection, and not of learning, observation or study. Really, Socrates?

Digital Love

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 00:09:00 +0000

I have no clue what this is all about. Is it a web mystery waiting to be decoded?

Maybe I'm a Chaologist. Decode that.

Breaking News on Indian Advertising Industry, via Payfaqs

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 09:07:00 +0000

There have been rumours and speculations for some time. Finally, the split has been made public; fools are now divided between two religions - account planning & client servicing.

Disagreements on rigmarole and comparative analysis of brain size are believed to have created the rift, sources revealed.

Bombay Weekly

noreply@blogger.com (The Copyrioter) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 23:45:00 +0000

Bombay has many faces, good, bad, kind, ugly and dreary. So the intellectuals would like to have you believe. Two popular faces of this many headed metropolitan devil gape at you from every end of the city. While one has a linear approach in its attack and cracks you from the core, the other is erratic in its display of strength and only kills with small bites.
In native speak, they are called local train and auto rickshaw.
Local train has been labelled as the lifeline of this city. Poets and artists have felt the soul of this city, heard the voice of its collective conscience and watched its aura while travelling in local trains. They say that local train is like a mirror to Bombay's culture and life. For me, it unfortunately has not yet translated itself into any such intellectual experience and remains an unwanted bone massage which, without fail, leaves one smelling of fish and human sweat.

On the other hand, auto rickshaw has a less barbaric approach; the motive being only to fleece more money with partial (and sometimes complete) regard for your bones. If an auto rickshaw had to voice this city's song, it would be, without doubt, called - 'Chaabi de'. What a spirited slogan for a city as comfortably corrupt as a thief who pretends to be a kleptomaniac.

That was a long preface to a small incident in Copyrioter's hideously un-eventful life. But then, gibberish has always been my favoured weapon of readership-destruction and it's too late to give up now; so, I will stick to my puns.

In every city, across the planet, there is a place where the river of life curves suddenly and breaks open into a sea of lights and sounds. It's called a traffic jam and exists on many levels in our heads, besides the road. So there I was, at the traffic jam few days back, sitting quietly in an auto-rickshaw, practising the art of looking blank. I had my regular no-brain expression on, nothing unusual at all. But life had planned a creative outburst of different kind. Universe, I believe, has also hired an account planner.

An amalgam of words packed in a human voice knocked open my expression-dead mind and compelled me to notice the player of such prose. It was the auto-rickshaw driver. He had decided to claim his existence in my world, that very moment in the middle of a thousand shining headlights.

Turning towards me, he pointed at a couple of guys seated in the adjacent car. A lethal speech made of country made explosives was set off. He shook his head and pronounced his judgement on 'their character'. He ranted convincingly and menacingly about 'the tragic end of goodness'.

He spoke of 'how immoral and evil the world has become', emphasising especially on 'how those men are staring shamelessly at you madam'. Then, uninvited, he got into my brain and quickly twisted my nerves by asking if "this embarrassed me".

That was just another bout of life flung across my path. My question is, why?

p.s. I was tempted to end this post with an emoticon.