This is a post that Mark Driscoll wrote recently that I think you have got to read! Mark is the founding pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington, and is one of the world’s most downloaded and quoted pastors. He is also the author of many books including, Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together.

When it comes to numbers, churches tend to err in one of two ways: they either discount them as unimportant or they put too much emphasis on them.

The reality is that numbers are important, and though they aren’t the only sign of a healthy church, they are an important measure.

For Mars Hill, numbers are a key measure of our health. For us, it’s all about the numbers, if by “numbers” you mean the number of people getting their sins forgiven, getting their lives changed by Jesus, and going to heaven instead of hell. We’d like that number to go up. We’re all for that.

When numbers are viewed from this perspective, they are a good thing to desire to see grow. This is why I commend pastors who desire to see the church they pastor grow for the right reasons.

In my conversations with pastors around the world, many have questions on church growth. So, I thought I’d share eight principles I’ve learned about church growth.

1. Begin with the end in mind and know how large you want to be.

The following is a rough breakdown of reported (which may not be entirely accurate) church attendance. Admittedly, these numbers are a few years old, but, as a general rule, they do give you a rough idea of church-size barriers.

• Churches with 45 people or fewer = 100,000 churches or 25% of all churches
• Churches with 75 people or fewer = 200,000 churches or 50% of all churches
• Churches with 150 people or fewer = 300,000 churches or 75% of all churches
• Churches with 350 people or fewer = 380,000 churches or 95% of all churches
• Churches with 800 people or fewer = 392,000 churches or 98% of all churches
• Churches with 800 people or more = 8,000 churches or 2% of all churches
• Churches with 2,000 people or more = 870 churches or 0.22% of all churches
• Churches with 3,000 people or more = 425 churches or 0.11% of all churches

Lyle Schaller, considered one of the best church consultants in the world, states in his book, The Very Large Church, that the two most comfortable church sizes are under 45 people and under 150 people, likely making them two of the hardest thresholds to pass through, in addition to the 800 mark.

In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell states that 150 is also the maximum number of people someone can purposefully connect with, which explains why some people do not like bigger churches. It may also explain why John Wesley divided people into groups of about 150, the average hunter-gatherer village is about 150 people, most military units are under 200, and the Hutterites allow their communities to grow no larger than 150.

Understanding group dynamics like this is important in understanding that there are significant challenges that come with each phase of church size, and being aware of where you want your church to grow allows you to begin preparing for those growth phases more effectively.

2. The larger the church, the more different it is from other churches of the same theology and tradition.

As a church grows, while the theology remains the same, the organization complexity doesn’t, often requiring new methods of ministry.

Size affects the number of lines of communication, how an organization stacks or does not stack leadership, access to the senior leader and family, etc. Simply put, church size does matter for how a church is run, much like a married couple who some years later find themselves with a dozen children cannot simply organize their life as they did with their first child—everything must change.

For those wanting to learn more about the dynamics of church size, Tim Keller has a helpful paper, and Larry Osborne has a helpful book called Sticky Teams.

3. Change is inevitable.

You either move forward or backward. A living church changes differently than a dying church does, but all churches change.

Click here to read the rest of this post and join in the discussion.

This is a guest post written by my incredible wife, Courtney Foster. You can connect with her on Twitter.

Every house has trash.

Offensiveness in marriage is like trash.

My husband explained the 4 things that can push you from marital conflict to mortal combat:

1. Criticism

A complaint attacks the problem, but a criticism attacks the person.

2.  Contempt

It can include name-calling, mocking, condescending humor, as well as eye rolling, & it builds over time.

3. Defensiveness

This results in a standoff between enemies instead of a truce between friends.

4. Stonewall

Checking out emotionally.

When we allow unforgiveness & resentment to linger in our hearts, we will inevitably respond to our spouses in these ways.

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, (Ephesians 4:26)

Chris told us that the only way to get past the past is by praying for your spouse & taking action steps toward loving them.

He also said, “Unforgiveness is like treating someone like they’re guilty in the present for their sins in the past”.

How do you know if you’re hanging on to bitterness?

Your words.

Luke 6:45 says, “…For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks”.

Bitterness is like a poison that can change your identity & it will even become evident in your family.

Learn to fight for your marriage.

Take out the trash!

Check out week two of “Lord Of The Rings” in its  below. You can also check out other messages within this series here.

This is a post that Sutton Turner wrote that I think you have got to read! Sutton oversees Mars Hill Church’s central operations and business functions, including finance, property, communications, technology, and media.

How you approach your job or your ministry makes a difference in how effective and helpful you are to the larger goal. Pastor Sutton writes about what being a helpful team member looks like.

When I interview someone for a job, I can usually make a decision within the first five minutes.

In 1997, I started a company that grew from 3 to 380 employees in just a few years. In 2008, I founded another company that grew from 4 people to 500 in just 16 months. Today over 1,000 people work for Khidmah.

For most people in the world, work is a team sport—and ministry is always a team sport. How do you know whether or not someone will be a good addition to your team?

One simple diagnostic question has been helpful for me: Is this person problem-focused or purpose-focused?

Here’s the Problem

Problem-focused people . . .

. . . are paralyzed by problems and fail to find solutions.

. . . are quick to point out problems and criticize anything and anyone—except themselves.

. . . resist good leadership because they perceive it to be a threat.

. . . resist change because they cannot see the benefit of a new direction, only the problems.

. . . take it personally when someone is placed above them in the organizational chart.

. . . never take responsibility for their actions and instead always blame another person or problem.

. . . don’t respond to encouragement, don’t want supervision, and don’t listen to advice because they perceive themselves to be sufficient.

. . . like having other problem-focused people around because they like to sit around, criticize, and talk about problems.

. . . succeed by mistake or by luck, never by effort or planning, because they are more focused on problems than how to overcome them.

. . . bring their problems onto a team.

. . . create more problems, because it gives them something to do: dwell on problems.

Purpose Full

Purpose-focused people . . .

. . . approach problems as opportunities to shine, not problems to overcome.

. . . never bring up problems without multiple potential solutions.

. . . focus on their strength. They know what they are good at and seek out opportunities to use their skills.

. . . acknowledge their weaknesses and know the areas where they must improve.

. . . respond to encouragement. Because they understand their own shortcomings, they appreciate knowing that someone believes in them.

. . . remain upbeat and positive because they see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Even in a crisis, they remind others that the end is in sight.

. . . don’t mind when someone is placed above them in the organizational chart, and respond by asking, “What can I learn from this person?”

Click here to read the rest of this post and join in the discussion.

Our current series, “Lord of the Rings”, is a two-week series intended for everyone, whether single, married, or single again, to help you gain insight into how God intended our marriages to be.

I felt encouraged when my husband told us that the good times come after the bad, not despite them.

In Revelation 21:5, Jesus said, “I make all things new”.

I believe all marriages can use renewing at some point.

How can you determine the success of your marriage?

According to women, they were 70% satisfied based on the couples’ friendship.

Men were 70% satisfied based on the couples’… friendship! (Really? That surprised me too.)

That means conflict comes from the remaining 30%.

One of the most important things my husband said is also one of the simplest, “Friendship fuels romance”.

Song of Solomon, the raciest book in the Bible, even supports this in verse 5:16, “His mouth is most sweet, Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, And this is my friend,”.

I like how the focal point of this message is friendship, because I think I take that aspect for granted in marriage sometimes.

It’s way too easy to assume we’re friends, because, duh, we’re married!

But it’s not a given, and like any other friendship, it requires time, emotion, and money.

Your marriage relationship is a friendship that you should continually be working on, a labor of love.

There are, however, a couple of traps that we can easily get caught up in, if we aren’t aware.

The first is our own selfish desires. We can get so focused on what our own needs & expectations are, that we become blind to our spouse’s.

The second is letting our children be the object of our worship.

Not that we pray to our children, but when we put them above our relationship with God, or our spouse, we get it backwards.

A good way to avoid those snares is by this frame of mind that Chris shared, “With our life together, we can glorify God”.

I encourage you to listen to all of Chris’ message, because there is so much more wonderful insight into marriage friendship that I know you wouldn’t want to miss out on!

Click here to hear “Lord of the Rings” in it’s entirety or check it out below: