A way of life

2011-04-25T01:54:00.000-05:00

In the middle of the night when you're asleep in your bed, I'm creeping around in your yard. I might steal your lawnmower or weed eater from your garage. I might steal your chainsaw from your shed. I might steal everything out of your car or even your car if you leave the keys in it. If I think nobody is home, I might check to see if the doors are locked.
It's not like I like doing this. I really don't. It's hard work and I'm always scared to death that I've been seen and the cops are on the way or someone is going to blow my head off with a shotgun. My adrenaline pumps through my body so much it takes hours to fall asleep after a night out. It sometimes takes days to sell off the loot and the pay is usually shit, but I have to make a living somehow.
I'm a clean cut average looking white man. You would never suspect me of being a thief on sight. You might even know me and talk to me if you see me in a store or at a kids park. I have a very high I.Q. which makes me very good at most things I do. I just wish I had the opportunity to get a formal education and make myself more productive before I became physically unable to work. I've destroyed my body working too hard and I have no history of a sentient job to get hire at one.
For now, I'm stealing your stuff. Lock your doors and get an alarm for your home.

The criminal mind

A way of life