But there are lots of good things too!

We went on our first glamping trip, and I took the opportunity to improve on my astrophotography.

“The First Slam Dunk” was shown here in the Philippines and it was amazing.

I also chose to be brave and finally make my Youtube channel. It contains three videos so far. I haven’t shared it with many people yet because I’M NOT READY plus I’m waiting for myself to really get going and have 10 videos up before I share it.

I just want more of these good things and to be less tired every time I wake up.

This year, it started in June and hasn’t let up at all. I figured that, as usual, I’ll just wait until September or October to feel better. After all, I got through July this year without a stye, so I thought I was fine. But prompting from my sister and the godawful feeling of waking up with already-tired eyes even after a full night of sleep made me decide to get help. And help I got; the ophthalmologist prescribed steroid eyedrops for a week, antihistamine eyedrops for 10 days, and lubricating eyedrops for as long as needed. It’s been about four days in and I’m feeling…normal!? It’s remarkable.

The lesson: Get help when you need it, stop suffering, you’re only hurting yourself.

Here’s what I learned from our own experience. Given that my dad didn’t leave behind a will, we had to have an extrajudicial deed of settlement done by a lawyer. This guide is not necessarily in order, and I may have missed out on some details. I would also appreciate hearing from people who have experienced and completed the estate tax process where their parent was able to leave behind a will.

• Acquire the death certificate of the deceased. NSO may not have this yet, so this needs to be obtained from city hall.
• Make sure that you have IDs of the deceased, which reflect his or her address. You will need this to get a letter from the barangay, which will certify that the deceased is a resident of that barangay.
• Obtain a certificate of property holdings. This should indicate all properties that the deceased may own or which may still indicate that he or she is still the owner. We found out that one property my parents sold in the late nineties still reflected their name because the buyer didn’t update the information on the tax declaration. So that needed to be taken care of by the buyer first before we were able to move forward. This certificate should also be presented to the BIR when the time comes.
• NSO-related tasks: Get birth certificates of all the deceased’s children, the deceased’s spouse, and the deceased himself or herself. Also, get marriage certificates of the deceased and his or her spouse and of any married children.
• Gather a list of all the assets of the deceased, from properties to bank accounts to vehicles to jewelry. You can have the latter assessed to determine their value and allow you to get the total amount of assets, so you can then compute the approximate estate tax you will be paying.
• Do your siblings live abroad and you’re handling all the paperwork yourself? Then they will need to execute a Special Power of Attorney, which will allow you to take care of the entire process in their behalf.
• Have a lawyer prepare the extrajudicial deed of settlement. You can also ask for assistance with publishing the death notice and the EJS.
• You have to download the eBIRForms software, which you will use to fill out Form 1801. You’ll print this out and present it to your RDO. Make sure to get a a TIN for the estate and that all the heirs also have TINs with the correct addresses. The RDO will check all your documents and the computations and then give you the go-ahead to pay the estate tax.
• Once you have paid the estate tax to Landbank or whatever the bank designated by your Revenue District Office ¹ is, you should then proceed back to your RDO with all your documents: the receipt from the bank, the affidavit of publication, the newspaper where the death notice was announced, the certificate of property holdings, the EJS, birth certificates, marriage certificates, the death certificate–basically everything you have. Remember to have photocopies of every document just to be safe. Once they have assessed that everything is in order, you will then be asked to come back for the Certificate Authorizing Registration (CAR), which you may receive in about a month, if there aren’t any hitches. Some possible hitches may include wrongly assessed values, in which case a recomputation is needed.
• Once you have the CAR, it’s time for you to head over to city hall to begin the process of transferring the properties. First, you need to obtain the tax certificate for each property. Then, you will need a cedula or community tax certificate. You can then have the transfer tax computed and then pay for it.
• Make sure that the tax declarations of all the properties are updated and that it reflects the name of the deceased.
• Once you have paid the transfer tax, you can then head to the Register of Deeds. Bring the transfer tax receipt, the titles, the EJS, the newspaper, the affidavit of publication, almost everything you have gathered. They will then compute the amount you need to pay for titling.
• Expect the new titles to be released in a couple of weeks or so.

This guide will be updated once I remember more of the details, but these are more of less the things you need to keep in mind when paying the estate tax and having the properties transferred. You will save yourself a lot of trouble if all the properties’ titles and tax declarations reflect the correct names and are updated. Overall, it’s a tedious undertaking, and many people tend to just neglect it altogether because it’s too much work and the estate tax is generally too high for anyone to be able to pay off easily. But you need to do it to make sure that the properties are properly transferred to the heirs.

It started out easily enough, with the two of us walking at a relaxed pace in the airport. Once we met up with the rest of the group in Hong Kong, however, I realized that we made a mistake signing up to join a tour group, among many other lessons that I need to keep in mind the next time we plan a trip. Here are just some of them.

1. Do your own tour. A tour group includes far too many people, and chances are high that you and your parent will lag behind the rest of them, and the rest of your tour group are not likely to pay attention to everyone else and notice when you have not caught up or have been left behind. You also can’t ask everyone else to stop while your parent catches his/her breath. Moreover, tour groups generally travel in tour buses, which are hellish to climb into if you’re old and have serious knee problems.

Instead, you should look into private tours that can welcome only two people. We enlisted the services of Frank Law in the afternoon of our first day. We were picked up at our hotel and went to Lantau Island by private car, and he was kind enough to let us go at a slow pace during the tour.

On our last day, we opted out of the city tour and went to various locations on our own. It allowed us to go as slowly as we needed to and also to see other sights that the usual city tour wouldn’t have shown us.

2. Expect a lot of rest stops. Walking will not be easy even if your parent is walking with the assistance of a cane. Just enjoy the breaks and take it as an opportunity to take a better look at the place.

3. Be organized. Not only will you need to help your parent walk, but you should also be prepared to handle tasks such as filling out forms and even ordering food. Make sure any documents you need are kept in a single pouch and keep them close.

4. Don’t hesitate to ask for wheelchair assistance. Approach any person who works at, say, the airport or ferry terminal for help. Wheelchairs will be available, and a member of the personnel will even push the wheelchair for you and get you through any lines quickly. Insist on wheelchairs when you need them. We were told at the check-in counter in Hong Kong that we only had to walk a short distance to the gate and that we won’t be able to get to the gate until a half-hour before boarding if we waited for a wheelchair. It was a good thing we put our foot down because the walk was by no means short. You know your parent’s physical ability better, so you are the one equipped to make the best decision.

5. Consider bringing a wheelchair. Yes, you can do this! Make sure to check your airline’s regulations on bringing a wheelchair. They have certain size restrictions, and some airlines would allow you to bring the wheelchair in the cabin if you’re able to reserve a spot in time. If you can’t bring it with you in the cabin, you will have to check it in.

6. Make sure you have important supplies, like medications and bandages for any sudden cuts and injuries.

So yeah. I discovered that traveling with an elderly parent is pretty tough, and I’m rather ashamed to admit that I was on edge and stressed out at certain points. I hope to do better next time, but at least I now know what needs to be done and what we should bring on trips.

The attendees, to my dismay, were mostly older people, with a smattering of younger ones, which to me only highlights the idea that younger people are becoming less and less interested and aware of what happened during the Martial Law years and why it all remains relevant today. Alan Robles moderated the discussion, and one of his first questions was about why people seem to have forgotten all about the atrocities during Martial Law and how it’s possible that Bongbong Marcos has a very strong chance to become vice president. I think the panelists got it right when they said that no one was ever really held accountable for all the wrongdoings during Martial Law. Nobody was arrested, nobody was tried and jailed, and the Marcoses were allowed back in the country a mere handful of years after they were kicked out of power.

Aside from justice not being served, I believe another key factor is that Martial Law was never really discussed in depth in schools. I don’t remember any detailed information being taught about those years, only that Marcos was in power for a very long time. In fact, I only learned the truth about Martial Law when I was in college through a very excellent documentary entitled Batas Militar. I can’t say for sure whether history isn’t taught properly to children because people don’t think children will understand or that such details are too much (too disturbing) to handle. And then there’s the perpetual refrain that learning history isn’t necessary and the all-too-common attitude of brushing unpleasant things under the rug and pretending they never happened. As a result, you have people who never learn from their mistakes.

Yet another factor is what is now called “EDSA fatigue,” which is being used to describe how people feel about People Power nowadays. What was once a celebrated event is now either widely mocked or ignored. It may be related to the fact that People Power and EDSA are always associated with the Aquinos and not with the Filipino people anymore. Nobody is saying that Ninoy Aquino didn’t play his part or that Corazon Aquino was an inspiring figure at the time. But recognition of their roles has reached the point of reverence that it’s difficult for some people to view People Power and the Aquinos as separate entities. Therefore, anyone who’s unhappy with the Aquinos, be it Noynoy or Kris, tends to become annoyed with the family and, by extension, People Power. The discussion has become nothing more than red versus yellow, Marcos versus Aquino, Martial Law versus People Power.

And because many people don’t know what happened during Martial Law, even those who lived through it and saw nothing more than carefully planned order and progress that masked the grimy truth, you now have a nation that is fondly looking back on that time. Now you have people who are confusing truth for propaganda and who don’t realize that their criticisms against the government would have gotten them imprisoned and/or tortured during the Martial Law era they praise and long for today.

Apparently, his time has come, and this year is his year, along with Maine Mendoza, who initially rose to fame via her Dubsmash videos and then as Yaya Dub on Eat Bulaga’s Juan for All, All for Juan segment. I’m not going to try to retell the story of how the AlDub phenomenon began and how it has progressed since then. Their Wikipedia page can give all details you’ll ever need.

There have been some harsh comments about people’s obsession with AlDub. In sum, some people say that this nation is careening towards disaster because people are shallow and obsessed with a fictional love story on a noontime show. Some bring up how our national heroes died for the country at a young age ¹ and yet young people today are heavily into things that critics perceive as worthless and silly rather than think about serious issues. Some would call this a reflection of Filipino society and how we like to escape into fantasy and deny the bad things that are happening around us.

This kind of thinking is snooty and narrow, and it reduces AlDub fans to nothing but a squealing mass of giddiness. People are capable of liking and being interested in multiple things. AlDub fans come from all walks of life. Being AlDub fans does not mean that those people are stupid. More likely than not, they are also painfully aware of what is wrong with the Philippines and are doing their own part in helping society, but they are nevertheless still able to enjoy something fairly harmless ². Nobody wants to be judged based only on the things they enjoy ³, and nobody should be judging people based on what they like. If you don’t approve of something that other people like, there’s no need to get in their faces, condemn them, and say that they’re causing this country’s downfall. There are bigger fish that are responsible for whatever mess this country is in, and the critics who think they’re smarter than AlDub fans should know that.

Prior to the show, the Catholic Bishop’s Conference of the Philippines has already expressed outrage over the taglines on the billboards announcing the event, like “Come play” or “Bare your soul,” prompting the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority to make the rounds of all such billboards to cover the “offensive” lines in red.

There were some comments about the show expressing dismay that the celebs and models were baring their bodies, which I find laughable. The show is mostly an underwear fashion show, after all, and I don’t know how effective it would be if the celebs and models who were modeling underwear were fully clothed.

The part of the show that really had people shaking with rage was the one where actor Coco Martin was leading a woman onstage on a leash. Women’s groups, among others, condemned this as demeaning, dehumanizing, and objectifying. In the face of such outrage, Bench issued an apology and promise to do better and be sensitive next time.

Personally, the only thing I think they should apologize for are the more or less homogeneous body types during the show, poorly designed clothing, and for thinking it was a good idea to have Coco Martin pretend to be a dom.

Years ago, I would have joined in the condemnation of Bench for their show and that specific portion with Coco. Today, I just find it mildly amusing, as I’m aware that all it has are mere inexpertly applied tones of BDSM, as the real thing would most likely shock people. (And if someone tells me that that sort of thing should not have been done because we’re a good, conservative, Catholic country, please do me a favor and shut up. For a good, conservative, Catholic country, people are strangely unafraid of committing abuse and being unfaithful, and our politicians are perfectly happy to rob us and kill their opponents).

And if people really want to get angry about the objectification of women, get mad at car shows where women are needlessly put on display alongside cars. Get mad at the annual FHM 100 Sexiest event, where a lot of the models look stunned and slightly afraid in the spotlight, and where they engage in many acts specifically geared to satisfy the male audience. Get mad at beauty pageants for still forcing women to compete on the basis of their looks, and stop calling the candidates role models and stunning examples of what Filipinas should be like.

But let’s not stop there. Get mad at commercials too for telling women that their underarms are too dark, that their hair isn’t long, black, and straight enough, that their skin is too dark and they should have a rosy white glow. A brief moment of onstage dom/sub play-acting—or indeed an underwear show that lasted less than three hours—is less dangerous than the messages being forced down our throats every day.

The formal announcement from the event organizers through One Direction Philippines came on May 19: the boys are indeed coming to the Philippines on March 21, 2015 for a concert at the MOA concert grounds–and tickets were going on sale on May 23. Cue the outrage. The ticket selling date came much too soon; many people couldn’t scrounge up the money in three days, and the concert’s practically a whole year away. Couldn’t they start selling in December or some date closer to the concert itself?

I suspect they couldn’t: I imagine One Direction’s management wants to make sure that bringing the boys here will be worth it and that tickets really will be sold. They needn’t have worried or doubted the 1D fandom in the Philippines. As early as 2 p.m., May 22, people had already secured their spot in the line, ready to pull an all-nighter. The number of people lined up grew throughout the night.

TJ, Macy, and I couldn’t line up earlier, so we were there at 5 a.m., at which point the lines were already so damn long. Long story short, Macy and I were inside the Arena’s lobby a little before 10, and we got inside the Arena Bowl before 2. We thought we were home free until we noticed that the line wasn’t moving at all. It took ages before it started inching along with some regularity, and we finally got our tickets–though not the VIP ones we were hoping for—after 5 p.m.

Fucking 5 p.m.

Meanwhile, outside, people were suffering in the heat, tempers were rising, tears were falling when people heard that some tickets have already been sold out. TJ reported that there were some scuffles and a lot of crying kids and angry parents.

All in all, it was an experience that I will never repeat and I will never do for any other band or person ever again. Buying a concert ticket shouldn’t have to take more than 12 hours, but I’m pretty glad we were able to get good tickets anyway—made the +12 hours worth it.

What the One Direction ticket selling organizers got horribly, horribly wrong

The biggest mistake they made that I can think of is being unprepared. I can’t say they underestimated the crowd; they said in their announcement that 15,000 people are expected to show up at the event. If they’re expecting that many people to show up, they should have ensured that they have enough people to control the crowd and guide the people. In addition, there shouldn’t have been only eight fucking counters inside the Arena Bowl and the concourse for the other tickets. I kept saying, “Two rows of 10 or 12 counters! One row on two sides of the arena! Don’t make people form a snaking line! Make them queue at each counter, and if they can’t fit yet, then that’s when the others should wait as part of one big line!” One dad was even saying that cash and credit card transactions should be separate, which makes more sense, because cash transactions are faster.

They also should have limited the maximum number of tickets per person to two, not five. Less chances of the tickets running out, less chances of scalpers buying up as many tickets as they can. Apparently, scalpers would immediately sell the tickets the minute they exited MOA Arena; VIP tickets went from P17,800 to P21,000–P23,000.

Another mistake is that we didn’t hear from the organizers. Inside the lobby, there were sporadic announcements about ticket availability, and then someone announced that they were requesting management for a second show. After that, we didn’t hear from at all. It would have been moderately reassuring if they would show up occasionally to tell the crowd why the lines weren’t moving and what they plan to do to make everyone’s lives easier.

What the organizers will probably get wrong the day of the concert

They’ve already made a mistake by choosing the MOA concert grounds. It’s a flat, level surface, and people with the cheaper tickets will not be able to see anything much from where they’ll be sitting. According to a comment on the 1DPhil page, “magkakariot” if they just use the monobloc chairs. It’s very likely that many people will be unhappy. Why pay any amount at all if all you’re going to see are people’s heads or their backs?

One thing I think they can do is to create elevated seats for the people in the back, giving everyone a fair shot at getting a look at the boys. I don’t think that’s very likely, however. BUT. SM can construct an entire building in a year. A seating section in 10 months shouldn’t faze them at all. And make sure they’re proper seats that people can’t dislodge and throw at the organizers. Get the fuck on it, people.

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Over at the 1DPhil Facebook page, there are more than a few people saying that of course the VIP and Diamond tickets were sold out first, because it’s only the rich kids who aren’t real fans anyway who are snapping them up. To that I say, that’s completely untrue. Blame the scalpers who would go in in threes and buy five tickets each. Aside from those assholes, based on the VIP/Diamond crowd I saw yesterday, it was a mix of happy hardcore fans—who were seriously unhappy ¹ to know that the tickets they wanted were gone—and parents and older relatives who are doing their best to get tickets for the kids in their families. So enough of the rage at the “carrot fans” and “fake fans.”

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Many thanks to Macy for just being so cool in line and for urging me to go on when I felt like walking the hell out of there. But most of all to TJ for waiting outside for us in the heat and the crowd even though I know he was thisclose to losing his shit and was angry about the whole situation the organizers put everyone through.