Headlines from TheDailyMash.co.uk. It's news to us http://www.thedailymash.co.uk Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:21:26 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/_h1YzsWPRQA/index.php THE Waldorf-Steiner education system is responsible for a piece of headgear that offends all aesthetic sensibilities, it has been claimed. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:50:31 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4885&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/NuPNNeWWGw4/index.php THE combination of pedal-based transport and motor vehicles on roads is utterly insane, it has been confirmed. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:46:16 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4884&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/CHOkWiRFdTk/index.php PUNDITS have predicted Nick Griffin will be the next England manager on the basis everyone already hates him anyway. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:09:40 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4883&Itemid=26 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/9YAlI3P8xQ8/index.php Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:01:04 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4882&Itemid=98 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/QaW75v2zCyI/index.php Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:58:05 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4881&Itemid=98 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/Q6_cbCftg3Q/index.php A TEACHER has been suspended after using her Facebook Timeline to expose pupils to the minutiae of her Guardian reading habits. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:19:08 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4880&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/6i-kLTa7Pyc/index.php PLANS to dilute alcoholic drinks have won the enthusiastic support of Britain's heroin kingpins. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:43:30 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4879&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/uUuykjEsKe0/index.php BRITAIN'S only hope for surviving the arctic conditions rests in weather-proof structures known as 'buildings', experts have claimed. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:57:48 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4878&Itemid=35 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/U60MG_cZd_0/index.php TOTTENHAM Hotspur manager Fabio Capello has been convicted of tax evasion relating to payments made when he was manager of Portsmouth FC. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:09:40 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4877&Itemid=26 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/b2Nv3TEA4rI/index.php Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:24:43 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4876&Itemid=98 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/YIbLXGrhpwI/index.php RBS chief executive Stephen Hester has claimed his job is full of hidden dangers that could kill him. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:07:52 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4875&Itemid=74 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/bQPA1Itg0Ak/index.php SCIENTISTS have been asked to confirm that they definitely said they could make brainguns and if so, when. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:15:14 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4874&Itemid=35 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/42ehIfT0Cck/index.php "I intend to break into his house, put on Alive and Kicking by Simple Minds at full volume, tie him to a chair with pretty tartan ribbon and then force feed him haggis until he bursts." Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:01:38 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4873&Itemid=40 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/6ZIN6tl4C0g/index.php Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) Your interest in appearing on University Challenge quickly wanes when you realise it's not about asking tosspot students to step outside. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:47:37 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4872&Itemid=71 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/bLyONujRoD8/index.php AFTER a near perfect performance at the Super Bowl on Sunday, Madonna has been unveiled as the new brand ambassador for feminine leakage pads. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:19:23 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4871&Itemid=75 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/0pWuUBSDG9c/index.php TOUGH new policies on workplace fun will make enjoyment of group activities non-negotiable, it has emerged. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:04:14 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4870&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/uQTEW1D9Q1E/index.php BRITAIN will pay tribute to the Queen by standing outside her house and bombarding her with music she finds ghastly. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 08:44:12 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4869&Itemid=75 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/Qad57P28jEw/index.php RIGHT-wingers are intelligent enough to know that everyone is ultimately a self-serving bastard, according to new research. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:31:56 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4868&Itemid=35 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/bDEd4C6wmoc/index.php NHS staff are to start miming what they want to do to foreign patients in a bid to save money. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:19:00 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4867&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/psmgdvmDxvE/index.php THE United Nations Security Council remains deadlocked over which countries are allowed to exterminate Arab civilians. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:51:21 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4866&Itemid=89