Headlines from TheDailyMash.co.uk. It's news to us http://www.thedailymash.co.uk Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:48:57 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/H_F04Dw95uE/index.php Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:28:59 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2246&Itemid= http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/KTt8O1Lo6SY/index.php FORMER Echo and The Bunnymen drum machine DR670 has announced its plans to release a solo album. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:47:07 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2245&Itemid=73 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/pwKGrYdv-W4/index.php WOMEN who know their place emit less carbon dioxide than uppity madames with so-called careers, it was confirmed last night. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:24:51 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2244&Itemid=76 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/FXvgEa63fFM/index.php (news/international/herman-van-rompuy-is-anagram-of-roman-vampyre-hun-200911202243/)THE new president of the European Union is a Catholic German vampire who craves the blood of your children,... Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:44:05 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2243&Itemid=89 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/6pMx6ovzpus/index.php SUPERMARKET giant Tesco was under pressure last night after it emerged its half-price turkeys are actually spaniels. Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:45:17 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2242&Itemid=74 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/P65Z3CxyO-0/index.php AS a million emerald tears washed down the streets of Dublin last night, Ireland's poets set to work immortalising their... Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:28:54 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2241&Itemid=26 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/QVku3oFD3mc/index.php (news/business/m%26s-advert-offensive-to-everyone-200911192240/)ADVERTISING watchdogs are to investigate clams that Marks and Spencer's Christmas advert is offensive to everyone. Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:38:11 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2240&Itemid=74 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/0OwF25gneMc/index.php SOCIAL networking websites have been criticised for not introducing a help button for users to report awful, boring tits.... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:09:32 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2239&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/zPmSv9blUyo/index.php THE Queen's speech will today outline plans for a minimum guaranteed penis size for everyone over the age of 21... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:07:50 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2238&Itemid=28 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/e4mPEr-r4oY/index.php Dear Holly, My life is so rubbish right now and I need some advice about how to drag myself... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:53:01 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2237&Itemid=29 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/Axgl4YZev6A/index.php (news/society/scientists-unveil-female-low-self%11esteem-pill-200911182236/)A NEW female sex pill will make women feel sufficiently worthless to embroil themselves in a series of demeaning... Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:43:31 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2236&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/iqptJFOTWNQ/index.php Psychic BobScorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)Great news on the job front when after arguing for eight hours in the pub about... Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:37:38 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2235&Itemid=71 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/V-oQcvzr8Jg/index.php The reason our country is in such a mess is because the majority of its citizens gain their knowledge of... Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:05:18 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2234&Itemid=29 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/xZltsZug-hY/index.php FORMER RBS chairman Sir George Mathewson last night hinted that anyone attempting to regulate City bonuses may find themselves part... Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:45:51 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2233&Itemid=74 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/qDYH9JPAREg/index.php HOMOSEXUALITY is caused by an invisible evil cloud that can even get inside your pregnant wife and turn your unborn... Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:08:21 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2232&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/kmSB15dISy8/index.php (news/international/sarah-palin-doesn%27t-know-what-radar-is-200911172231/)SARAH Palin could still stand for the US presidency in 2012 after it emerged she has no idea what... Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:50:00 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2231&Itemid=89 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/tBHLALseoE0/index.php NURSES are to undergo a rigorous three-year degree as the NHS launches a new drive to kill people more efficiently. Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:04:17 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2230&Itemid=77 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/DA9LpuQbYjE/index.php ENGLISH cricket's governing body last night unveiled radical plans to uninvent the game. Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:28:23 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2229&Itemid=26 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/diD2FkWQE3Y/index.php (news/society/prostitution-to-replace-bursaries-200911162228/)THE government is to replace the current system of student loans and bursaries with £300-an-hour, high-class whoring. Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:46:44 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2228&Itemid=81 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/hWzG1GgtF8U/index.php Sat, 14 Nov 2009 08:27:10 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2227&Itemid=