Headlines from TheDailyMash.co.uk. It's news to us http://www.thedailymash.co.uk Fri, 10 Jul 2009 00:02:51 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/Hlxmo8Q3eI4/index.php THE security services have opened a 24-hour torture centre staffed by low-wage Indian workers, it was claimed last night.... Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:19:23 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1892&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/KuL0Fbo6SDk/index.php THE new Rubik's puzzle can provide a healthy alternative to a sexual relationship and is definitely not a fetish for... Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:40:27 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1891&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/M1OfYjzHnok/index.php CLAMPING someone who sees a no-parking sign and then blatantly ignores it is a breach of their human rights, the... Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:09:28 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1890&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/1rny7MU_its/index.php (politics/politics-headlines/prescott-phone-tap-reveals-obsession-with-chip-butties-and-viagra-200907091889/) JOHN Prescott's obsession with chip butties and erection pills are no-one's business but his own, the former deputy... Thu, 09 Jul 2009 08:17:30 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1889&Itemid=28 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/3MG6CfyhnaI/index.php TOSSPOTS with ironic T-shirts and trendy gadgets have lost yet another place to piss people off after the collapse of... Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:09:34 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1888&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/tXBz7_zQ-CY/index.php A RANGE of pre-digested foods aimed at consumers who are too busy for normal metabolic function has hit the shelves... Wed, 08 Jul 2009 08:48:47 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1887&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/4EqCEKEhJy0/index.php (news/science-%26-technology/scientists-invent-dildo-that-can-remove-spiders-200907081886/)MEN were declared obsolete last night after scientists finally perfected a dildo that can remove spiders from a bathtub. Wed, 08 Jul 2009 08:07:23 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1886&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/u1cAKI-3bOY/index.php Psychic BobCancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)You get your big break in the movies this week as Ken Loach casts you as... Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:54:09 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1885&Itemid=62 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/YxyGp0L6_so/index.php THE Codex Sinaiticus, believed to be the oldest surviving Bible, features a garish embossed cover and an endorsement from the... Tue, 07 Jul 2009 09:41:03 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1884&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/Vq0oq8--Omc/index.php LOW-COST airline Ryanair may be an Irish company, it was claimed last night. Tue, 07 Jul 2009 08:55:45 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1883&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/_EdmXeqk-Tg/index.php (news/international/us-and-russia-leave-just-enough-nuclear-weapons-to-kill-everything-twice-200907071882/)THE world became a safer place last night after the United States and Russia agreed to keep just enough... Tue, 07 Jul 2009 08:14:44 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1882&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/aAavk_E6UxQ/index.php Dear Holly, I have been married to my husband for over 6 years, and we have three children together.... Mon, 06 Jul 2009 11:09:09 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1881&Itemid=29 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/PHrXtX2NrOk/index.php FORMULA One has taken on the role and responsibilities of 'Odessa', the support network for fugitive Nazis, it was claimed... Mon, 06 Jul 2009 10:32:29 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1880&Itemid=26 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/t3R2frPrttM/index.php MICHAEL Owen has begun his Manchester United career by breaking his wrist in three places while attempting to sign his... Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:44:53 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1879&Itemid=26 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/Bur0dxyQuos/index.php THE Serious Fraud Office is to launch an investigation after claims the Rover 200 may have been marketed as a... Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:21:06 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1878&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/Hda8rgldNQ4/index.php (sport/sport-headlines/federer-becomes-most-boring-man-ever-200907061877/)ROGER Federer tore up the record books predictably last night following an utterly tedious victory over some American who's... Mon, 06 Jul 2009 08:38:54 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1877&Itemid=26 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/XZTGcFH_pAc/index.php A LIFE of po-faced self-denial and thinking that animals are people can reduce the risk of cancer, doctors have claimed.... Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:43:39 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1876&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/BymP7LrCQvM/index.php BANKERS have rejected Alistair Darling's plea not to return to the 'madness' that caused the recession, insisting they bloody love... Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:17:40 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1875&Itemid=59 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/3rB8NpAHJIE/index.php PEOPLE across Britain last night agreed never to phone a radio show ever again in case Gordon Brown decides to... Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:41:54 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1874&Itemid=28 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thedailymash/~3/JDmRSmJHBN8/index.php TORCHWOOD creator Russell T Davies has reacted angrily to cuts in the series by threatening to turn the BBC's entire... Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:52:55 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1873&Itemid=59