Between bosses and coworkers who don’t understand your illness, long stressful commutes, and mounting deadlines you have no control over, the nine-to-five grind can be a huge source of anxiety. 

For this reason, the rise of what we call the “gig economy” is an exciting prospect for many who find that their jobs are not suited to their mental health needs. 

Image via Pixabay

What Is the Gig Economy?

The gig economy is the name given to a series of work opportunities that have arisen in recent years in which you are paid per “gig” or individual piece of work. Examples include being an Uber driver or cycle courier or doing quick jobs through online platforms like TaskRabbit. Something like putting a room up on Airbnb could also be considered gig economy work, although some argue that this is more a feature of the sharing economy.

Because the gig economy is quite recent, the term has not been defined too clearly. It is often used interchangeably with freelance work in general, although some would argue that the two are different. However you define it, the gig economy has great potential for helping those who do not thrive in a structured approach to work, including people with mental health issues.

Image via Pixabay

Benefits of the Gig Economy for Mental Health

The main benefit for many is the flexibility. You can be your own boss and be in control of your schedule without incurring the financial risk of setting up a brick-and-mortar business. This means you can work whenever it suits you and that you are in complete control of your earnings and productivity.

For people with mental health problems, this can be a great way to create a work schedule that fits them and helps them thrive. You can schedule your work around therapy appointments.

You can make more time for crucial self-care, whether it be an exercise routine, a healthy breakfast, or a full eight hours of sleep. You can even take a day off if you need to without having to justify it to a skeptical boss. 

You also have the freedom to choose whatever products or services you want to advertise. This flexibility can lessen anxiety and stress, since you’re able to personalize and customize your business to your liking.

A great way to save on overhead costs and decrease stress even further is by venturing into dropshipping. With this low-risk method, you hire a supplier to handle the inventory for you, and when a customer purchases a product, the supplier ships it to them. You don’t pay for inventory until a purchase is made.

There are many products to consider for your dropshipping business, but you can make the decision easier by brainstorming a variety of products that customers really want to buy.

Image via Pixabay

Managing Yourself

If you intend to make a career out of gig economy or freelance work, you will have to learn discipline. It is not always easy to work when no one is making you do it, especially if your mental health disorder tends to make you feel unmotivated.

You will need to learn to distinguish between a lack of motivation due to depression and a lack of motivation due to laziness, which is not always obvious.

Related: Blues or Depression? Knowing When to Seek Treatment

You will also be in charge of your own deadlines and appointments, so you will need to be organized and reliable to keep things running smoothly. Luckily, there are apps that can help you, such as appointment reminder apps, employee scheduling apps, and the ever incredible Evernote, which helps you organize just about everything. There are thousands of different apps available, so do your research and look for one that offers all the features you’re looking for. 

Additionally, there is the matter of social isolation. People with mental health disorders can have a tendency to feel lonely and isolated, so a job that does not involve co-workers could make this worse.

Freelancers could look into working from a coworking space, while other gig economy workers should make sure they are getting plenty of social interaction from other activities.

According to The Guardian, over 16 million people in the US are engaged in “alternative work arrangements,” which include gig economy roles. This represents a significant portion of the workforce.

While not all of these will have chosen this situation, the scale of this number shows that alternative work styles are offering something which traditional employment cannot.

People with mental health disorders may be one of the biggest groups to potentially benefit from this shift as long as they remain mindful of what works for them and their health. be one of the biggest groups to potentially benefit from this shift as long as they remain mindful of what works for them and their health. 

Originally posted on July 3, 2019 @ 10:00 am

Step outside your comfort zone and be more mindful and involved in caring for the environment. Stop paying lip service to charitable causes and act on your concerns. Improve or learn skills that count.

Mindful summer projects last long after the season has gone. And from making them, you emerge a more aware person, showing kindness and caring for family, friends and the people you work with. You learn to be grateful for what you have and all these lead to a happier life ahead.

6 Mindful summer projects that you can do:

Learn how to make eco-friendly paper straws.

Make eco-friendly paper straws and do your bit to contribute to a sustainable environment. Five hundred million plastic straws are used daily in the US alone, and they are killing whales, leaking out toxic chemicals that seep into our ground waters, and causing birth defects and other deadly diseases.

Paper straws are biodegradable and a good alternative to the plastic ones. The materials are readily available and don’t cost much. You can learn from the several lessons for DIY paper straws online, and they’re not too complicated either. Make lots for yourself (they’re single use, after all) and give or sell to friends and interested buyers.

A caveat: some types of paper or glue may not be food-safe. Do your research when choosing them.

Here’s a video tutorial to use as a guide:

Grow succulents for your house.

Succulents are those plants with thick stems and leaves that you see in pots on your friend’s windowsills or gardens, or in offices. They can be bought in local garden supply stores and online shops, along with the materials needed for planting them.

You won’t regret growing succulents as your summer project. Not only do they brighten up a room, but they’re also easy to grow and are low maintenance. Put them in a spot where they can get sunshine, like near a window facing east, and they don’t need watering daily.

The health benefits of succulents include increasing the oxygen in your house (plants breathe in CO2 and breathe out oxygen,) improve the humidity by releasing their water supply, and are great stress relievers, too. After a day’s work or early in the morning, sit down and meditate for a few minutes with your succulents, and feel the calm wash over you.

Volunteer for a cause.

A noble summer project to take on is volunteering. Mindful of other’s misfortunes, volunteering is one way of giving back to society or paying it forward. There are many places where you can look for charities that need and accept volunteers. Check out your church, community center, or local organizations where you can offer your time and services. Choose advocacy that is close to your heart. The list is endless.

If the idea of joining an organization doesn’t appeal to you, you can offer to clean the park in your community on weekends or help look after children in a daycare center.

Volunteering is good for you. It increases the oxytocin levels in your body, making you calmer and reducing stress. You become less focused on your own problems when you see others in much worse conditions. It makes you happier and gives you a sense of purpose different from what you get from your job or school.

Recycle your old denim jeans into cute cloth wine bags.

When you cut your cast-off denim jeans to make into shorts, don’t throw away the leg parts. With a mini sewing machine, some basic sewing tools and a ton of creativity, you can repurpose the jeans bottoms into pretty wine bags.

Tip: Bleach the fabric for a whitish effect (denim usually doesn’t get snow-white from bleaching) to go with the trending white canvas tote bags. Sew striped, dotted or printed fabric as top edge and use zigzag or other decorative stitches to add flair.

Keep in mind that bleach weakens the fabric, so don’t soak your denim in the bleach for too long. I chose this post that teaches you how to recycle your cut denim bottoms into a wine bag because it’s easy to follow.

Go on a spiritual retreat.

Set aside a few days of your summer for a spiritual retreat. You’re planning for traveling and beach vacations. Why not a meditation retreat, too? Sand, sun, and sea are fun and effective get-away-from-it-all destinations.

But for the soul, go off the grid, live in simplicity, silence, and stillness. A few days of feeding your soul does wonders for your perspectives in life and brings you serenity. You can find these places online. Go east to India or stay closer to home in the West.

Learn a computer course.

Why computer? Because it runs the world? Although you have a choice of learning other subject matters (language, culinary arts, etc.) for your summer project, a short course in IT will be useful for you. You find uses for it in your work. You can also use your knowledge to find extra income on the side, and you can take it further and make it a jump off point for a career change.

Popular online learning sites include w3schools, Udemy and codecademy. Read about them before diving in, so you don’t get overwhelmed.

You can start with the basics if you’re totally clueless about computer usage or learn how to use the office programs of Microsoft, Apple or Google.  If you have some exposure, your interest might lie in web development, coding, and other short courses.

Originally posted on July 1, 2019 @ 10:00 am

Make time to Exercise

No matter how busy you are, it is so important to find time to fit exercise into your daily and weekly routine. Exercise can look different to everyone depending on your body type, abilities, and level of fitness.

If you are new to working out and unsure where to start, it may be best to sign up for something like a beginner yoga class. Yoga is known to have many positive effects on an individual’s overall health improving things like posture, flexibility, and circulation throughout your body.  Be sure to take care of your body properly and hydrate before working out to get the most out of your workout.

Not only does exercise contribute to optimal physical health, but it also releases endorphins that make you feel happier and reduce stress. 

Plan a Vacation in the Sun

It could be necessary to have a change in scenery altogether. Call up your friends or family members and plan a getaway to somewhere warm and relaxing. Book a cruise or tropical island getaway to have some fun in the sun and relax!

Spending time with old friends can make being yourself and finding your happiness a little easier. Share laughs and stories to escape reality while traveling together. Soaking up vitamin D from the sun is proven to improve mental and physical health. 

You can even take a road trip to clear your mind and explore new areas! Pack a good book, create a relaxing playlist for traveling, and disconnect from your work world or reality that may be bringing you stress. We all need time for ourselves, so don’t look at this as a selfish but as needed time away to recoup and recharge mentally from your daily life. 

Disconnect from Your Phone

Smartphones today are great resources to stay connected to your family, work life, and friends, but can also be a source of anxiety for people. Try to limit how much extra screen time you spend on your phone.

For many people scrolling through social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook leads to comparing oneself to other people’s lives through pictures, making individuals feel lesser than others. There are even apps available that help track and cut down unnecessary screen time. 

Keep a Journal

Writing your thoughts out daily in a journal or notebook can be a great way to not only relieve stress but also stay mindful of how you are feeling day to day. Not only does journaling combat the negative effects of stress, it is also proven to improve cognitive function.

There are various types of journals to try out, for example; keeping a gratitude journal is an easy start for those who may not love to write but want to try out this technique. Simply jot down what you are thankful for and take time to reflect positively on what you have vs. don’t have in your life.

Whether you’re writing emotional releases, reflecting gratitude, or listing goals for yourself, the best part about journaling is you can take it anywhere with you, even at your desk at work. This is just one of many ideas you can use in the office to destress. 

All of these ideas are ways to step back from your life and take a mindful minute for yourself to regenerate and take on the world with a clearer, less overwhelmed mindset. These are just a few of the many ways to do that, but you know yourself better than anyone else. If necessary be sure to seek professional help when feeling too overwhelmed or stressed. 

Originally posted on June 28, 2019 @ 9:00 am

The effects that we feel from food is not limited to the body either, from blood sugar spikes to energy crashes these reactions make their way to our brains and effect our mental health. Using this knowledge, there is actually a wide variety of whole and natural foods you can eat in order to combat stress, depression, and anxiety.

Related: Lifestyle Changes You Need to Cope With Anxiety Disorder

Take a look at the graphic from Snap Kitchen below for the best foods to eat for improving mental health, as well as when to eat them for the greatest effects!

Originally posted on June 26, 2019 @ 9:00 am

Jump on a Low Carb Diet

Diets like the paleo diet or the keto diet have been shown to increase attention and energy over time. High protein foods in particular support mental function and will keep you focused, and help you feel more energetic as well.

However, the goal is to have a balanced meal plan and get over the initial ketogenic state when your body starts adapting to using ketone bodies, which are created by your body as a way to transform fat into glucose, which is essential for your brain function. You also need a strict paleo diet plan to make sure that your energy levels remain high. If you need tips, you can check this page on meal plans for eating paleo.

Get a Good Night’s Sleep

Sleeping well is also essential if you want to be able to have full energy during the day. Unfortunately, a lot of people have poor sleeping habits and end up disrupting sleep quality without even knowing it.

For one, there should be no screen watching a good two hours before going to bed. This is because most electronic devices emit a kind of light that can trigger your circadian rhythm into thinking that its daytime, which can make it more difficult to fall asleep.

One thing you could do is read a book or listen to an audio recording as an alternative if you need some kind of distraction before you go to sleep. Another thing you should do is make sure that absolutely no light is seeping into the room. That means investing in blackout curtains if possible. You can also look into supplementation such as melatonin if you have persistent issues.

20 Ways to Boost Your Energy at Work

Get Active

Physical activity is one of the most efficient ways to boost your energy levels. Not only that, but regular exercise is a great way to limit the chances of developing a variety of chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease.

People who live a sedentary lifestyle experience fatigue for a wide number of reasons. For one, they often also have poor dietary practices. Also, regular exercise both promotes better blood circulation and oxygenation. The higher your blood’s oxygen levels, the more alert and energetic you’ll feel. Exercise also allows your blood cells to do their work and rid the body of harmful toxins that can pull you down even further.

Quit Smoking

If you’re a smoker, stop right now. Smoking is one of the absolute worst things for your energy and health in general. Smoking stifles your lungs, which leads to improper oxygenation, which is a direct contributor to low energy. Not only that, but it also has a disastrous effect on your blood vessels and circulation, which prevents blood from providing energy to your cells. If you can, it would be a wise idea to switch to nicotine patches or use e-cigarettes as a replacement.

Conclusion

As you can see, it’s possible to enjoy higher energy levels if you do the steps necessary. Make sure to follow these few tips and commit to making swift lifestyle choices if your habits are the cause of your chronic fatigue.

5 Ways to Be Present in the Here and Now

Originally posted on June 24, 2019 @ 10:41 pm

Related: How to Become a Better Husband, Boyfriend or Life Partner

In Plato’s myth we all have a longing to be reunited with our better half. But how do we know when we’ve met them? If he/she is the one?

Is he/she the one?

1. You can feel it in your gut

It may seem a bit cheesy, but our stomach can tell us a lot about how we feel around other people. Have you ever met someone and just knew that they were bad news? Well, we can also have a gut feeling about a potential partner. We usually call it the butterflies, but it’s a good indicator there’s something special about this new person.

2. Being around them is easy

Some people are really difficult to be around. When you’ve met “The One” then being in a relationship becomes 10 times easier. There’s no fitting a square peg into a round hole feeling, because you two just seem to fit together so perfectly. A relationship shouldn’t be a rollercoaster with continuous ups and downs. When you’ve met the right person, the relationship feels surprisingly light and easy to manage.

3. They bring you a sense of peace and calm

Many people report feeling a deep and calming peace around their significant other. Once your heart stops searching for your life partner it can feel like a weight’s been lifted off your chest. Being around your soul mate should make you forfeit all anxiety and stress.

4. You don’t have doubts about them

Sometimes in new romances you can find yourself having doubts. But when you’ve found your person it’s as if you could say, ‘I am one hundred percent sure that this can work out.’ You are hopeful and optimistic for the relationship ahead and are no longer weighed down by another person’s baggage. You don’t find yourself thinking, ‘well, they would be great…if they didn’t have ____ about them.’ And it’s not that you’re naïve, you just don’t have the same doubts you had in previous relationships.

5. They make you better

 ‘The One’ is able to bring out the best in you, and help you work through your lesser qualities. You are also able to do the same for them. If you’ve ever heard someone say “She makes me a better man” or “He makes me an honest woman” this is what they were talking about.

6. They improve your self-esteem

Some relationships can prove to be toxic to your mental health. They bring you down and makes you feel terrible about yourself. We often trick ourselves into thinking we deserve this treatment, but when you’ve met the right person, they make you love yourself.

Related: Get Real: 6 Unrealistic Expectations You Shouldn’t Carry into a Relationship

Your soulmate should make you feel secure. People may even start saying, “wow, you seem like you have a glow about you.” When you’re with ‘The One,’ both of you help each other develop healthier views about yourselves.

7. It’s not hard to be honest

Do you ever feel like you can’t be honest with someone? When you’ve met your person, telling them everything doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore. You can talk about your past and talk about your future without batting an eye. They can also tell you anything, and you will be there for them too. Honesty is the foundation of a relationship and with your soulmate there are no secrets.

8. You support each other’s values

As important as it is to be honest with each other, it’s also important to know and support each other’s values. It’s not that you and your partner should be identical in your beliefs, but you know they’d support your choices no matter what. Many times, people say they’ve also met their soulmate when the person shares the same morals as them. Relationships can be tough, but they’re even more difficult when a person’s core values conflict with their partners.

9. You make time to be together

A true soulmate means being better off together than apart. When you’ve met ‘The One,’ even hours apart can feel like an eternity. Soulmates prioritize time with their partner, and value time together over everything else. When you know your partner is the right person for you, you can’t help but want to be with them at all times. You can be yourself with them, completely relax, and bask in the love you have for each other. Soulmates will move their schedules around even if they are really busy so that they can spend more time together.

10. You love them deeply as they are

Part of what makes people soulmates is a complete love and acceptance for their other half. You don’t want to change them, and they’re not out to change you. You love their flaws, and their strengths, and they love yours equally so. Part of completing each other is finding that deep, connected love for another person that trumps everything else. It may seem obvious that you would love your soulmate, but the love you feel for ‘The One’ is very different than all other loves that came before it.

In the Soulmate, Plato says “Zeus developed a creative solution by splitting humans in half as punishment for humanity’s pride. It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.”

In the time of Plato, myths were often created to explain things that we had a hard time understanding.  Meeting a person’s soulmate is such an auspicious event that we needed to create stories to explain why the feeling is so incredible! People often say you’ll know it when it happens.

Have you met your soulmate yet?

This post was written by Alexis Schaffer. She received her undergraduate degree in psychology and is a registered nurse. In her free time she teaches yoga and writes for various online publications. She’s also the proud dog mom of a beagle named Dobby.

Originally posted on June 24, 2019 @ 10:00 am

The elderly, with help from their families and communities, can be comfortable in their later years and look forward to a life with minimum worries if these issues are attended to properly.

It is, therefore, our moral and ethical responsibility to see to it that our aging loved ones receive proper care and support during this time in their lives. It’s also best for us to learn about these health challenges so we can delay their onset and prepare ourselves psychologically and financially if or when that time comes.

With age comes chronic illnesses such as heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease. Along with promoting healthy habits, these conditions need to be managed by professional health specialists.

But for common health issues that put them at risk, we must learn how to deal with them outside medical boundaries. Knowing about preventive measures helps greatly in giving older adults an enjoyable and enhanced quality of life in their advancing years.

Common Health Issues of Older Adults

Memory loss

Memory loss is most commonly associated with aging. Our brain cells undergo changes that result in a decline in memory. Depression, also common in seniors, is another factor that contributes to memory failure. However, it’s a misconception to think that all older adults who develop memory problems progress to Alzheimer’s or dementia. A doctor’s findings are based on neurological exams and overall mental function.

Here are home remedies for memory loss that isn’t Alzheimer’s or dementia and doesn’t have a significant adverse impact on daily activities:

Balance problems

• Do regular age-appropriate physical exercise
• Maintain a diet that is low-fat, more of fruits and vegetables, and omega-3 fatty acids from fish
• Have continuing social interaction and involvement with community activities and other people Promote mental stimulation through reading, computer use, playing games, doing numbers and word games
• Promote mental stimulation through reading, computer use, playing games, doing numbers and word games

In aging, a loss or reduction of balance occurs because bones get weak and muscles lose their flexibility. Other factors that predispose seniors to falls are medicines, such as for chronic illnesses, depression and sleeping aids, arthritis, and dizziness.  That’s why falls are prevalent in older adults, leading to injuries, surgery or permanent disability. A senior’s overall health status plays a significant role in the outcome of a fall. Frail elderly people have poor recovery and more debilitating results.

To minimize the risk of losing balance and falling, follow these guides:

• Limit areas for daily needs to one floor to eliminate stair climbing
• Remove home hazards such as an uneven floor, rugs and carpets, toys or other stuff that can cause tripping
• Take Vitamin D supplements and have proper nutrition
• Correct poor vision
• Wear comfortable and proper footwear
• Join tai-chi classes

Depression

Data from CDC and WHO show that depression is the most prevalent mental disorder in older adults. Most affected are those with co-occurring illnesses and ones with limited functionality. Other causes are the death of a spouse, a transition to retirement, and loss of social activities. While many cases are seen as a natural reaction to aging and its setbacks, the good news is, depression is easily treatable.

This condition is not the normal feeling of sadness in a reaction to an incident, like a death in the family. It’s more persistent, lasting weeks or months. Some symptoms of depression in elderly people are feelings of hopelessness and/or worthlessness, irritability, loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to bring happiness, loss of appetite, insomnia, and fatigue.

In suicidal cases or severely depressed persons, seek professional help. And, if you’re getting older or living with one, you can help ward off a depressive mood with these tips:

• Give them your time and attention. Listen to them when they talk, in a nonjudgmental way, whether it’s a happy, sad, angry or bitter discourse.
• Be patient, be the shoulder they can cry on, and at the same time, share your own thoughts.
• Help them keep their appointments and take their prescribed medicines regularly.
• Bring them with you when you do the groceries, go shopping, join community affairs or meet with friends. Enjoyable social interaction can perk them up, even if only temporarily, and give them opportunities to talk with other people.
• Give them hope. What makes their life meaningful? It could be their faith in God, their children and grandchildren, memories of their best friends. Talk about these things to them to serve as a reminder that life is still good and worth living.

Urinary incontinence

UI is the uncontrolled leaking of urine. It may happen when you sneeze or cough, or you cannot hold a sudden need to pee, and can’t get to a toilet on time. If you’re out of the house, your concerns are not having a change of dry clothes, plus the accident is awfully embarrassing for you.

Urinary incontinence affects more than half of the aging adult population and is usually caused by weakened or overactive bladder muscles in women and prostate enlargement in men. Other reasons for having persistent UI are underlying illnesses, like Parkinson’s disease, diabetes, and multiple sclerosis.

Incontinence should be checked and managed by a doctor. Aside from medical intervention, the following advice can help:

• Wear adult diapers. Choose a leakage-proof product and change immediately after you have peed. This prevents possible urinary infection, skin rash and you won’t smell of urine odor.
• Wear clothing that makes it easy for you to urinate. Avoid jumpsuits that don’t have an opening at the bottom.
• Bring spare clothes in case of accidents, especially if you expect to be out for a longer time.
• Reduce caffeine and alcohol intake and limit liquid intake when out of the house.
• Empty your bladder before going out.

Originally posted on June 21, 2019 @ 9:00 am

The mind’s incredible sensitivity goes hand-in-hand with awesome power and agility. So it’s no surprise that when things go wrong up there, they can go pretty drastically wrong.

Related: Stop Beating Yourself Up

That’s also why looking after your mind requires a combination of soft care, kindness, and mental exercise. None of these elements alone are optimal. Be too kind on yourself without thinking critically, and you may become complacent or slapdash. Work your mind too hard without forgiving yourself for your mistakes, and you’ll suffer emotional problems that further manifest through your body health.

In fact, although we have evolved to become worriers – our minds are programmed to reflect on our past in quiet moments, particularly the bad stuff – obsessing about your mistakes can lead to depression, alcohol abuse, and eating disorders.

The trick is to acknowledge mistakes and work with them, rather than ignoring them or letting them drag you down. Frame your slip-ups as learning opportunities and life experiences rather than failures or disasters.

You can help yourself to think this way by approaching mistakes with positive action, such as sitting down to construct a plan as to how you will clear up after the mistake and ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

But you might also limit the time you spend worrying about your mistakes by identifying the times when you tend to worry unproductively. In these moments, distract yourself with other positive pastimes such as meeting with friends and family, going for a walk, or playing sports.

The good people at NetCredit have put together a full guide on how to stop obsessing over your mistakes. It’s pretty simple stuff once you get into the discipline of both caring for and exercising your mind. It’s worth spending time on proper maintenance!

About the author

G. John Cole – John writes on behalf of NeoMam Studios. A digital nomad specializing in leadership, digital media, and pets, his passions include world cinema and biscuits. A native Englishman, he is always on the move, but can most commonly be spotted in the UK, Norway, and the Balkans.

Follow him on LinkedIn and Twitter.

Originally posted on June 20, 2019 @ 9:00 am

There’s one place in the home where you can put your needs first, sit back, relax, and breathe again. Your backyard can be the oasis your mind and body so desperately need. Of course, you’ll need to think of your design if you want to reap its benefits.

1. Light it up

If you can’t enjoy your backyard in the evening, it’s almost like you can’t enjoy it at all. You should light up your oasis with some fairy lights to make the scene more relaxing. As well as that, you can use the power of candles. There’s nothing that inspires serenity quite like a few fragrant candles.

You can also place outside lights alongside the garden path. This way you’re lighting your way to your favourite seat in the backyard and making everything more special. Aside from the romantic feeling, lights also provide an opportunity to hang out with family and friends in the warm spring or summer evenings. 

2. Invest in furniture

If this is your relaxation space, you’ll need furniture that supports that fact. The best thing you can do is to invest in comfy furniture that you can enjoy all day long. As well as conventional lounge chairs and outside benches, also look into hammocks.

If you’ve got two trees in the backyard, you’ve got the perfect grounds for a hammock. These babies make you feel like you’re on cloud nine and can be just the thing you need to release the tension in your muscles after a stressful day.

3. Focus on green

If you want to create a place where your mind and soul can relax, you’ll need a lot of greenery. Unlike colourful flowers which tend to keep us awake and alert, greenery soothes the mind. Just look at Japanese Zen gardens. They’re full of green plants which have the most calming effects. A row of bamboo in the backyard can do wonders for reducing stress, for example.

As well as that, don’t be afraid to introduce a few bonsai trees to the premises. They’re cute, easy to take care of, and considered to be the epitome of Zen.

4. Introduce a pergola

Pergola’s are fairly popular garden additions, and that’s not without a reason. With a pergola, you’re practically putting a room outside. If it wasn’t enough that you got to hide behind the lush greenery of your garden, now you get a whole fortress to call your own. Your pergola can be there for you in the hottest and coldest days. When summer gets too hot to enjoy it outside, you can find the shade inside the pergola. Add a cold lemonade to the mix and there’s not a moment of summer you’ll miss. Likewise, when winter gets too cold, you can still enjoy the sleepy beauty of your garden from the warmth of your pergola.

Let’s not forget that you’ll get to witness rain in the purest and most romantic form, too. To make all of this possible, you’ll need to hire professional pergola builders. They’ll make sure your pergola is sturdy and solid, as well as sustainable. Then, all that’s left to do will be to decorate and enjoy your new favourite room.

5. Fence off the world

The biggest problem with backyards is that they’re often open to the rest of the world. Without a sense of privacy, you’ll never be able to enjoy your oasis to the max. One of the easiest ways to solve this issue is to put up a fence. Some people think that fences make backyards look more like prisons, but it all comes down to the kind of fence you choose.

For example, a stone fence will make your backyard resemble a real fortress. A wooden one can get the job done and still give you an outlook on the world. Finally, you can grow a fence from bushes and greenery, and thus have nature surround you entirely while keeping the rest of the world at bay.

Conclusion

There are many things that make a garden special, but only you can decide what those things are. The way you decorate your garden will depend on your style and personality, but you’ll be sure to end up with the perfect garden in the end. Your oasis will be there for you when no one else will and offer you comfort and escape from all the worries of today. Embrace nature with open arms and see that it hugs just as tight.

Author Bio

Hannah Thomas is a gardening and home décor enthusiast. Garden is the place where she feels most comfortable, that’s why there are always a lot of books and empty coffee cups on the back porch.  Always learning, exploring and smiling. 

Originally posted on June 17, 2019 @ 10:00 am

In my home, dad was the disciplinarian while mom was the nurturer. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be funny and affectionate and caring though. He was all that, except when it came to rules, he was steadfastly stubborn. Looking back, I saw the logic of his parenting style, even if I did resent them growing up. Here are the most memorable ones.

Lessons from my father’s parenting:

I get punished for talking back.

Sass talk and eye rolls meant sitting in a corner for an hour or no TV for a week. I could say my piece but a potty mouth and raising my voice merited some form of age-appropriate punishment. My dad’s stern look had me quivering in my shoes.

If life, as portrayed on TV shows, are real, it’s shocking to see kids and teens talk back to their parents like their moms and dads were their peers. But not in my house. Kids should learn to respect their own parents as well as other people. It’s one thing to allow children to express their thoughts. It’s another to tolerate rude retorts and yelling.

I had my share of chores and didn’t get paid or praised for doing them.

At four years old, I was trained to put away my own toys after playing. At seven, I had to wipe the table clean after a family meal. I made my bed upon waking up, swept the backyard on weekends. I didn’t have to be told, nor did I get paid and dad didn’t heap effusive praise on me for doing them. He did acknowledge the effort with a “thank you” and that was enough to make me happy.

Nowadays, especially in primary schools, children are awarded for being “super student of the week” or some such fuzzy accomplishment, making awards a dime a dozen. Kids grow up expecting to be recognized for something that’s a routine task. It’s the start of having a sense of entitlement and becoming self-absorbed.

I wasn’t treated like a baby.

When I was old enough, I had to do things by myself, like tying my shoelaces and getting my things ready for school. At play, my dad allowed me to run or bike, and I sustained cuts and bruises from minor falls. My mom would have made a big deal out of outdoor play, constantly calling out to me to be careful, not run too fast, etc.

Oversolicitousness in a parent encourages a child to become too dependent on them. It also tends to develop narcissism in the kids, oftentimes as a way to cover up feelings of inferiority. Doing things for your children that they are capable of doing themselves breeds a feeling of entitlement since they expected to be served on.

I learned early on that tantrums got me nowhere. If I cried or sulked because I couldn’t have the toy I saw in the mall, dad simply ignored me. When you’re five, there’s no negotiating with dad.

I had to be present for meals.

Especially supper when everyone is home. My father didn’t accept excuses such as not being hungry, playing games, or watching TV to forego the family dinner. As such, mealtimes were our chance for sharing of the day’s events whether good or bad and exchanging thoughts and opinions.

P.S. cell phones weren’t allowed at the table, too.

Time together for families give the parents an opportunity to keep themselves updated on their children’s activities, moods, and problems outside the home.

My father (or mother, for that matter) was not my best friend.

Dad was a disciplinarian and had an authoritative style of parenting, far from what you’d call a best friend. I had BFFs to swap stories with and laugh about stuff together. Best friends are for sharing secrets and going out or sleeping over. You don’t do those things with your dad or mom.

Dad set rules and boundaries. We had to follow them, no questions asked, although there was some amount of flexibility if warranted. He guided us through life so that we would become responsible and kind adults. A best friend he certainly wasn’t, and I wouldn’t have wanted it that way, too.

Originally posted on June 14, 2019 @ 9:00 am