Hello friends,

You’ve probably noticed I’ve been M.I.A. as of late, and my posts have been infrequent and sporadic.

That’s because I’ve been traveling abroad. I took a break from school to see some of the world and figure some things out. As you can imagine, my energies haven’t been completely focused on the site.

Once I come back to the US in November I will return to posting regularly. But for now you can keep in touch with me via Twitter, by email, or you can even follow my travel blog if you’re so inclined.

I also want to take a moment to thank all of our new followers from the last month or so. You guys rock! New content coming soon!

-Rogin

The new school year is underway, which for high school students means the Homecoming dance is coming up. It’s time to get all dressed up, dance to strings of suspiciously similar club songs, and drink red punch. For many guys school dances are both exciting and anxiety-provoking. On the one hand you’re psyched to have a good time with your classmates after-hours, but on the other hand you’re nervous about what to wear and how to dance without making a fool of yourself. It doesn’t have to be so stressful – there are a few things you can do to make your night go without a hitch.

As for any important event in a man’s life, preparation is important, and something many young men fail to address. Having the right outfit and mindset will alleviate some of the anxiety so you can enjoy your night. Maybe your dad helped you pick out something to wear and gave you some advice. Maybe not. This week we’ll try to fill in the gaps for you so you have a fun time at the dance, and look sharp doing it.

What to wear

Why does it matter what you wear? For one, this is the one time where people pay specific attention to your appearance. They’ll notice the details. Secondly, when you know you look good, you feel good. Pride in your appearance gives you confidence, which will give you the courage to go out and dance your heart out. And don’t forget, the girls make an earnest effort to look good. The least you can do is show them your respect by not looking like a slob.

The first step to dressing appropriately at the dance is knowing the dress code. More than likely it will be semi-formal, which for high school purposes means anything above jeans. Most of your classmates will inevitably show up in a blousey, white dress shirt, a pair of baggy suit pants, and an outdated tie they borrowed from their dad. (Borrowing from your dad isn’t actually a bad idea, if he has a good taste in clothes. And if they fit you.)

Blue gingham shirt by J. Crew | chinos by Dockers | black belt by Gap | navy knit tie by The Knottery | mustache tie clip by tsaiclip | watch by Timex | loafers by Florsheim

The key to dressing well at the dance, as in any other situation, is fit. Strike a balance between skin tight and baggy. Clothes that are marked slim are your best bet. Above is an outfit I put together that I think would garner second glances amongst your classmates. If you don’t have a shirt with a classic pattern like gingham, solid blue or white would look just as well. just be sure they fit you properly. A knit tie, like the one above, are just fun to wear and will see you apart. And the mustache tie clip… Well, that’s just awesome.

The best part of this outfit is that you might already have some of these clothes, and you can wear them for other occasions. The shirt and pants easily fit into outfits for school, and you can wear the loafers for another night out with friends. I personally own that watch and wear it everywhere. These pieces are versatile, which means a smaller wardrobe of good clothes and less time shopping.

Tips for having an awesome time

I’ve been to many, many high school dances. Heck, I helped plan half of them. I ran the gambit as school dances go – I’ve left feeling like a million bucks, and I’ve left feeling like a fool. While I was by no means the star on the dance floor, I found that some things made my experience better, and some things didn’t.

Shower and shave. Nice clothes won’t help if you’re greasy and smell like a dead animal. Take a shower, brush your teeth, shave if you need to. Don’t forget deodorant.

PUT DOWN THE AXE. NOW. For the love of all that is manly, please don’t douse yourself with Axe in place of a shower. BO and Axe don’t mix. And actually, you shouldn’t be using Axe at all. In case you haven’t noticed, it smells awful. Use cologne if you want to wear a scent. Ask your dad if he has some cologne you can borrow if you don’t have any. Just keep it subtle. A dab/spray or two on the neck is enough. They say your scent shouldn’t be detected beyond an embrace. No one is impressed if they can smell you before you walk in the door.

Fly Solo. Movies and television make it seem that every dance warrants going with someone, but it really isn’t all that important. Most people won’t have dates anyway. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, go for it. Otherwise the process of asking someone and the pressure that comes with that will only make you nervous.

Don’t pre-game. Teachers and administrators aren’t stupid, believe it or not. At my school we hired a police officer to supervise the dance, and he had his breathalizer ready to catch anyone suspicious, which happened frequently. It’s really not worth it. I mean, it’s a school dance. It’s not a crazy house party.

Leave your shirt tucked in. Without fail, every school dance I went to there were always the kids who ripped off their tie, untucked their shirt and ran circles around the room. (I guess they had too much sugar?) This may sound surprising, but this really isn’t appropriate. Five-year-olds do this. And is it really that much fun?

Actually dance… This may come as a surprise, but dances are so much more fun when you actually dance. Boys are notorious for sitting on the side of the room, looking around trying to look cool and confident, while in reality they are too frightened to release their inhibitions and just dance. And with reason – it is scary. But it doesn’t matter if you have no idea what you’re doing, because no one else really does either. Also realize that the group of girls dancing together want to dance with you. Grab a few of your buddies and go get your groove on.

…and dance with her (or him). Ah, the slow song. At the same time the most anticipated and anxiety-provoking moment of the night. While going with a date is a bit much, asking her to dance is the next best thing. It gets your point across and you get what you really wanted all along – the chance to be closer to her. Simply approach her and ask, “Would you like to dance?”. Be sure to give her a genuine smile so not to creep her out. Unless you’re really good friends, the dancing will be awkward. Accept it, appreciate it, and understand she probably has no idea what she’s doing either. You can relieve some tension with conversation and smiling. (Be sure to compliment her real big sleeves.) And don’t try anything funny. You’ll just come off as a sleazeball.

Let loose. You can still joke around with your pals and flirt with the girls while being respectful and appropriate. It’s a matter of good judgement.

Have realistic expectations. They say the secret to happiness is having low expectations. Yes, it’s a bit pessimistic, but there’s some truth to it. Reflect on how the night might go, for good or for bad. You might have a lousy time: your friends might not show up or won’t dance, or the girl you asked to dance rejects you. Or, you might have a fantastic time, and everything goes perfectly. Having realistic expectations, will either (1) keep you from leaving feeling lousy; or (2) make you appreciate more just how well everything went.

To conclude

In the end, just try to relax, feel good about yourself, and make smart choices. If you do this, you’ll have a great time.

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I hope this guide was helpful. Let me know in the comment section. I’d also love to hear what you like to wear to dances and some of your own tips.

If you liked this article, please share it on Twitter and Facebook so other people can find this article, too.

Nick Offerman, the actor behind the manliest character on television, Ron Swanson, opened himself to questions on Reddit this week. His answers were just as you would expect them to be – sharp, testosterone-filled, and hilarious. He even offered some bits of wisdom, too…

Redditor: How do you keep a happy relationship with Megan for so many years? How should a lady be treated?

We keep a happy relationship by respecting it. We make it the top priority in our lives. A lady should be treated like any person, man or woman, with respect and good manners. If you’re a fellow, it doesn’t hurt to open a door for a lady, or help her with her parcels. We’re all in this together.

Packing for your first year at college is stressful. Your not really sure what you’ll need, and you’re afraid you will forget something. Chances are you’ll be able to find anything you forget in the first week, or have your parents mail it to you. But for those who don’t want to miss a thing, here are a few things that are easy to overlook, but what I found invaluable at school.

Six Essentials

1. Cleaning supplies

Your mom’s right about this one. On move-in day I was unhappily surprised to find an absolutely filthy room. Keeping your room clean and tidy helps to build your confidence and self-esteem and makes your place acceptable for your buddies to hang out and chill. You’ll be happy to have a clean place when you invite that special someone back to the room.

You don’t need much. A broom, a dustpan, a duster, and some disinfectant wipes. Paper towels come in handy for spills and messes. If you’re a clean-freak like me, get a Swiffer mop jet. God, I love that thing.

2. Good bedding

Don’t buy the stuff they send you in that catalogue the summer before.

It’s well known that dorm mattresses, quite frankly, suck. Do yourself a favor and get good bed linens and a great mattress pad. You will spend such little time in bed that you’ll want your precious few hours to be as comfortable as possible. Two sets are ideal, but I got by with just one.

3. Reusable water bottle

I love reusable water bottles. Handy and good for the environment. And at college, they are necessary. From your room to class to clubs, water bottles are pretty much your only access to water. You’ll only waste money (and hurt the environment) by continuously buying and disposing plastic bottles. I lost my Nalgene at one point in the year, and after two days I broke down and bought another one.

4. Umbrella

I remember fighting my mom about taking an umbrella. I mean, I had a raincoat. Isn’t an umbrella redundant? The answer is YES. One long walk across campus in the rain makes you realize how much you need one. And your campus store know this. They’ll happily sell you an umbrella… for a hefty price.

But don’t be too skimpy on an umbrella because the cheaper you buy the faster they break. I’m partial to this one.

5. Ear plugs

The only way you’ll every sleep in college.

Chances are you have never met your roommates, and you won’t know their nightly habits. If you go to sleep before them, ear plugs are a must. They’ll snore, or slam drawers, or zipper bags, or talk on the phone at 2am, or… Sorry.

Do yourself a favor and invest in ear plugs. If you need something in a pinch, try out RainyMood. Nothing like some soft rain to fall asleep to.

6. A stapler

To be honest, you probably won’t use this much. Nowadays most assignments are turned in online. But when you have a final paper due in five minutes and there’s no stapler, you’re in a pickle. Believe it or not, I had a professor nearly refuse my paper because it wasn’t stapled. She wouldn’t even take a paper clip. Don’t forget a stapler.

BONUS: 7. Water boiler/coffee maker

Obviously this isn’t necessary, but it sure is convenient.

Even though I didn’t drink coffee regularly before leaving home, college had different plans for me. I didn’t need coffee everyday, but often enough that I spent a large chuck of change on it. Plus, the ability to make yourself tea when you’re sick saves you time and energy when you should be resting. Consider going in on a Keurig or water boiler with your roommates. Reduces the price, and you’ll probably all want to use it anyway.

BOOM! Six Seven not-so-obvious things you need for school.

Have any forgettable, yet necessary college essentials? Share them in the comments below!

(Editor’s note: While this might not come across as productive in the traditional sense, it’s more interesting and informative than, say, watching TV. Still skeptical? Read on…)

I grew up in a tiny residential suburb. So tiny, in fact, and so overlook-able, that some people living in nearby towns had never heard of it. Probably because there wasn’t anything to do. And my friends and I were just far enough away from the city that spontaneous trips into town were few and far between. There were no places to hangout and nowhere to go. Well, except for the McDonald’s that stayed open until 11pm on the weekends…

Needless to say, we were bored with our town. There was just nothing interesting to engage us. I thought we had seen everything the town had to offer.

At some point in high school I began to realize that I didn’t know my town as well as I thought. During my driving hours in preparation for my license, the instructor would sometimes take me to quiet neighborhoods to practice the basics. I remember one time we drove into an unfamiliar neighborhood, so I asked him where we were. When he said we were still in town, I gave an embarrassed, Oh. I honestly had no idea where I was, even though I was still in the tiny town I grew up in. That got me thinking: What else hadn’t I seen?

The summer is the perfect time to explore your hometown. Beats lying around the house all day. Grab a few buddies and challenge yourselves to cover every square inch of your town before the summer ends. Either walking or driving works fine. Explore the neighborhoods and roads you’ve never been down. Eat at restaurants and visit businesses you’ve never been to. Discover new places for you and your friends to chill. You just might surprise yourself with what you find.

If wandering isn’t your thing and you’d prefer a more organized investigation, here are a few places to start:

Resources to start rediscovering your hometown

Your town’s historical society. Your little ol’ town might actually have a group dedicated to preserving its past. Back during the Great Depression, federal work programs like the WPA were formed to create jobs, and one of these efforts was the formation of historical societies. Even my tiny town had one. Its HQ, a worn down house with parts of its structure dating back to the 1700s, turned out to be a museum with artifacts and paintings dating back centuries. I probably passed by it hundreds of times, and never knew it was there. It was a surprisingly interesting and engaging tour.

Your local library. When was the last time you visited your town library? Daycare or preschool, maybe? Like historical societies, libraries were renovated and expanded in order to create jobs during the Great Depression. If your town still uses the same building, you might find some interesting bits of history inside. Ask a librarian if they have books or documents specifically related to the town. They might have some cool stuff, like old maps or books. Every town has a library, but only your town has your library – chances are it has been part of your community for decades. They’re a cool place to walk around, even for just a few minutes. Libraries are a dying breed, but they are one of the only unique public structures between municipalities. Take advantage of them while you can.

Local museums and attractions. When I found out that a local restaurant was at one point a stop on the Underground Railroad, I remember thinking, Yeah right, pffff. But it’s true. And while my town doesn’t have one, there’s a reputable art museum minutes away from the house I grew up in. Your town might have museums or unique attractions that you’ve never visited before. Sometimes we take these things for granted because they’re so close. Really get to know your town and see what you’re missing.

Give it a shot!

Challenge yourself to crossover every square inch of your town before the summer ends. It’s a fun thing to do with your friends and you’ll learn some new things about the town you grew up in. The next time someone asks, you can honestly answer you know your hometown like the back of your hand.

Now I want to hear from you. What do you think of the idea of taking a day to be a tourist in your hometown? What are some cool spots you’ve found?

(photo from here)

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How to be Productive This Summer

Part I: Introduction

Part II: Read a Book

Part III: How to Create a Resume

Part IV: Start a Blog

You can tell a lot about a man from his wallet – it’s a window to his soul. Just look at George. Could you imagine him carrying anything but?

Many men are fall into this habit of stuffing everything they might need into their wallets. Cards they haven’t touched in weeks or months. Don’t be like George. Cut the habit now while you’re young. There’s no need to carry anything but the essentials – a debit/credit card, student and driver’s IDs, and money. Maybe a AAA card or insurance card. No need for month-old receipts, foreign money, store discount cards, or for heaven’s sake, condoms. Leave it in a drawer at home and take it when you need it. Your back will thank you later.

The best way to make sure you keep your wallet to the bare essentials is to carry a smaller wallet. For the last 8 months or so I’ve toted around an angle wallet from Chester Mox. This company is known for making quality, stylish wallets with comparatively inexpensive prices. It doesn’t look like they offer the same model anymore, but the dogleg wallet is pretty similar. This wallet has done a great job of keeping me honest with the number of cards I carry, and looks sharp while it’s at it.

When I opened its packaging last fall, I remember being struck by the smell and feel of the leather. Chester Mox makes all of their products with leather from Horween, an American tannery. Horween has a great reputation, and for good reason. The leather was very stiff, and I could barely fit my cards and cash inside. After a day or so of carrying it on me the leather expanded to accommodate everything. The leather feels awesome and still looks great, if not better, after being broken in.

The wallet is hand-stitched together, and I’ve had zero issues with it. It’s held up great.

At the time they were offering a free engraving that replaced their logo, so I got my initials done. But you really can get anything you want. My brother decided to get a wallet after seeing mine, and he got his full name in cursive, which also looks very sharp. They offer some sample fonts to choose from, but you can really ask for anything. I emailed Chester Mox with a few questions about the personalization options, and customer service was quick and pleasant.

I have no serious complaints to speak of. I’m living in Israel right now, and I wish I had a small coin pouch for a few shekels. I’m pretty sure that won’t be an issue for most people.

In summary, I’ve really loved using this wallet. The leather broke-in beautifully and holds my cards and money wonderfully. I hardly ever notice it in my back pocket. I love it just as much as the day I got it.

If you’re in the market for a new wallet, definitely check out the offerings from Chester Mox.

Unfortunately, these days many young men lack positive male role models. The most important one, the father, is often missing from many kids’ lives – more than a third of American children grow up without a dad. In many cases the father isn’t always there because of work or divorce. And finding role models to replace him aren’t all that easy to find.

Why Young Men Need Positive Male Role Models

There are some things that young men can only learn from other men. Whether we like it or not, men and women are different. While female role models are important, and there is much to learn from them, they don’t cover all the bases. Strong male role models give us examples of how to interact with each other and with women, how to deal with problems, and how to fight for what you believe in. The wrong role models can quickly send you down the wrong path.

Without positive male figures in a young man’s life, he often feels lost. Studies show that the lack of male role models in a young man’s life triples his chances of becoming depressed, insecure, and feeling inferior to others. Role models are a guiding light to keep us on track. They are an example to follow. We ask ourselves “What would ______ do?” in hopes to be more like them.

More than anything else, they help us define the kind of men we want to be. The positive qualities we see in them are the one’s we want for ourselves – the stuff that make up great men, like courage, integrity, and industry. They give us a real and positive image to strive for.

Where to Find Positive Role Models

In your life. The best role models are the one’s you interact with everyday. Someone you can learn from by watching how he tackles problems and leads his life. Take a moment to think about the men you interact with day-to-day. While you may be angry with your dad for always being on your back, have you ever thought of him as an actual person with his own dreams, hopes, and sacrifices to get where he is today? Maybe you have a teacher in school from whom you’ve learned more than what’s written in the textbook.

In the media. While there’s a plethora of awful examples in the public sphere, there are some diamonds in the rough. Look for men that aren’t necessarily splashed all over the tabloids. For example, Viggo Mortensen, of Lord of the Rings fame. Aside from performing his own stunts in the LOTR movies, being one of the best swordsmen his trainer’s ever taught, and other displays of badassery, he sticks to his values – rather than pursue Hollywood action movies, he has sought out roles that really push him as an actor and as a person.

In books. They may be imaginary stories, but the character values and traits are all grounded in reality. Find some good adventure fiction and you’ll find all sorts of heroes. I shared one of my role models in an article a few weeks ago (link).

In history. There are countless great men in history whose influence is just as powerful and meaningful today. Men like Theodore Roosevelt and Martin Luther King, Jr. offer plenty of insight on masculinity and making the most of your life.

Now what?

Here’s a quick, 15 minute exercise to help you flesh out why you admire your role model. Open your word processor and make a list of all the qualities that make you say Damn, I wish I had that. Maybe they’re brimming with confidence or have an unflagging work ethic, or they are unconditionally kind to everyone. Be specific. Once you have a better understanding of what makes him special to you, it gives you material to improve yourself rather than just wishing you were him.

It’s up to you what you want to do with this list. One idea is to create a motivational poster for yourself. Just add a picture to your list, print it out, and hang it up in your room. Put it in your locker. If you want some already made for you, the Art of Manliness made motivational posters for several figures in history.

Be a Role Model Yourself

Just because you’re young doesn’t mean that you can’t leave an impression on others. Take up leadership positions at school. As an upperclassmen in student government or in a club or sport, you can be in a powerful position to impact some of the younger guys.

Same goes for your younger siblings. Older brothers have a unique and powerful influence on their little bro’s. He looks up to you, even if it seems like he’s the most annoying brat on the planet. Spend time with him, man-to-man, no strings attached. Help him with problems in school and give him support when he needs it. It’ll mean the world to him, and you’ll be thankful to have the strong bond down the road.

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Alright guys, now it’s your turn. I’ve done all the talking and I want to hear from you. Who are some of your role models? How have they inspired you to be a better man?

If you liked this article and you’d like to see more content like this, please share it with your friends or someone who you think would benefit from it.

From Ernest Hemingway’s A Movable Feast. A panicked and self-conscious F. Scott Fitzgerald asks Hemingway for advice following a traumatic encounter with Zelda. Hemingway’s response…

“You’re perfectly fine… There’s nothing wrong with you. You look at yourself from above and you look foreshortened… It is basically not a question of the size in repose. It is the size that it becomes. It is also a question of angle… Just have confidence and do what the girl wants.”

This week is The Dapper Scholar‘s first birthday.

After a few weeks of boredom last summer, I started the blog with honestly no idea what I was doing. Classic men’s style was always on my mind, and I was constantly thinking about what it meant to be a man and how I could take charge of my life and be more of the person I wanted to be. I wasn’t yet ready to bring this stuff up to my friends, but I still want to talk about it. So I took to the web.

And it’s been a crazy journey. Multiple times the blog has changed its direction. Through it the ups and downs, this site has changed my life for the better. Here’s a few reasons why you should consider starting your own blog with your free time this summer.

Why start a blog

Why not? But really? Depending on how you go about it, blogging is free, and gives you the chance to talk about the things that make you tick. You may even meet some cool people who share similar interests.

Improves your writing. How do you get better in anything? Practice. I love literature and writing. But high school English classes had hammered into me a lifeless, monotonous style that even I found boring. (Thanks, AP.) Writing a blog gives you the chance to write creatively and learn to write for an audience (that’s not your teachers).

Clarify and organize your thoughts. Similar to journaling, blogging causes you to sort out and compartmentalize your feelings on your subject. Before I started this blog, my thoughts had been all over the place and it was difficult for me to articulate them. With each post you organize your thoughts on a singular aspect of your subject. When you’ve finished your post, you’ve fleshed out what you’ve been feeling.

Develop skills and credentials for the future. Content. Image. Networking. A blog can feel like a side business if you want it to. Over the last year I’ve learned some rudimentary web design and marketing strategies and how to write for an audience. If you’re good enough, your blog can help you down the road. Meet the right people, and your blog could land you a job.

So what’s holding you back?

Go for it. It’s easy to start, and you’ve got nothing to lose.

Before you get started…

I highly recommend you read up before you decide to launch your site. Head over to Copyblogger and Problogger to brush up on the basics. They cover things like choosing the right platform for you and how to write good content. They’ve helped me tons.

If you liked this article, I’d greatly appreciate if you would share it and the rest of the How to Productive This Summer Series on Twitter, Facebook, and your other social media sites. Thanks!

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How to be Productive This Summer

Part I: Introduction

Part II: Read a Book

Part III: How to Create a Resume

T-shirts are tough. They only complement a small percentage of men out there. While inexpensive and ubiquitous, t-shirts don’t  really look good on most people. If you carry any extra weight, t-shirts will only accentuate your gut. If you’re lanky, t-shirts will just make you appear smaller. T’s are really only flattering to men with an athletic body.

And t-shirts just aren’t versatile for situations beyond the most casual. I can wear my blue oxford shirt while hanging out with friends, and I can dress it up with a blazer or suit. T-shirts are by nature only appropriate for the most informal situations.

In spite of these drawbacks, t-shirts are inevitable staples of the student wardrobe. When worn the wrong way, you can come off as childish and immature. If done right, you can look sharp. So let’s take a look at how you can make sure the t-shirts you wear look great on you. How? As with any other garment you wear, it’s a good idea to pay attention to the fit and style.

Fit

The cheapest and most widely spread t-shirts are normally cut to accommodate the largest body type. The shoulder seams hang well below the shoulder, the armholes are wide, and the body of the shirt billows away from the body and the bicep like a flag. While they fit everybody, at the same time they fit nobody. How should your t-shirt actually fit? Let’s break it down.

The shoulder seams should end at the shoulder. This accentuates and strengthens your shoulders, giving you a more masculine appearance. Any shorter and they look silly, any longer and you look like an eight year old.

The sleeves should fall about half-way down the bicep. It shouldn’t be too tight or too loose, it should sort of ‘hug’ your arm. You don’t want the sleeve to cut off your circulation, but the fabric shouldn’t billow either. Higher armholes can remedy this problem.

Like the sleeves, the body of the shirt should be slim. Not so much to outline your chest and abs, but enough to that the shirt won’t hang away from your body. The length of the shirt should end right around your belt, or just below.

A few words on graphics

Like everything else you wear, the designs and graphics on your t-shirts say something about you to other people. Are the images on your shirts representative of you and the message you want to convey? Do you need to let people know you bought your shirt at Abercrombie?

I prefer to stick to the basics – solid, neutral colors (navy, gray, white) without any graphics or words. They go with everything, and their simplicity and colors are reminiscent of more formal clothing. They look like I made a conscious decision to wear it, rather than blindly pulling it from the drawer.

If you find the plain t-shirt idea a little boring, consider wearing a v-neck or a pocket tee before you seek out shirts with graphics. They’re just as classic and look just as good, if not better, than their plainer counterpart.

To conclude

I know this all sounds a little tedious. They’re just t-shirts, right? But just trust me on this, and give it a shot. You’ll be surprised by how good you feel in even a fitted, sharp-looking t-shirt.

If you want some tips on how to wear a t-shirt and what to wear it with, check out this post by Jesse at Put This On. Solid advice.

(photos from Nordstrom and Everlane)