The only part that may be true is how you kill a zombie. Sure enough, if you shoot the zombie in the head, or decapitate it, it will die. Nothing short of that will do much to stop a zombie from accomplishing (or trying to accomplish) it’s goal. Sure, if you cut off its limbs and leave it, it might have a hard time doing what it was sent to. However, it will continue to try. Just go with the basics. Aim for the head, then demolish it.

If you want to know the nitty-gritty, zombies are just reanimated corpses. Usually, they are raised by a necromancer for many purposes. They could be fodder for attacking enemies of the Necromancer. Or perhaps they are just raised to get information from them while they were alive. This method of retrieving information has a 20% chance of actually working. It really depends on the many factors, such as how long they’ve been in the ground, etc, etc. A lot of Psychics will tell you that their method is much more accurate and reliable. Could be.

Have no fear of the Zombie apocalypse. Well, normally we wouldn’t, unless a necromancer decides to take over the world. Although I have to admit, I wouldn’t know of any Necromancer with the power to raise enough dead. If we lived in a world where zombies could be created simply from a bite, then we’d be in trouble. Honestly, would we be able to get rid of such a problem? We’d have to nuke everything. Then where would we be if not living on some remote island in the middle of nowhere? I mean come on.

So everything you think you know about Zombies, forget it. Because it’s all wrong.

He watched through the dark shades of his sunglasses. He wore the customary black suit with a grey trench coat. He wore a hat as well since it was raining, opting to go without the umbrella. They say you knew the locals because they never used umbrellas.

He watched them carry the casket and put it in place over the grave. The priest began talking as people gathered around but he couldn’t hear a word the priest was saying. No matter, he already had an idea of what was being said. He had some words to say himself, but nobody would ever hear them since it was between them and nobody else.

He saw one of his friends look over at him and start to walk over, but another friend grabbed their arm and shook her head. They argued for a bit and his friend decided she was right and just sat back down. Just as well, he thought. He didn’t need anyone right now. Not a soul.

He watched as the coffin began its slow descent into the earth. Everyone was crying, blowing their noses. Its days like these, he thought, that keeps Kleenex in business. He thought he would at least have cried by now but he found himself surprisingly cold. It was as if something had died in his soul and taken the emotions away from him. He thought it was just as well. He didn’t think he could deal with everything if he had to feel too.

He watched in complete cool as they started to fill the grave with the dirt. It was as if he was being buried in there. He almost felt responsible for her death. It was like he had killed her with his own hands. In a way, he did. He replayed it in his mind over and over. What could he have done differently? If he could feel, would he feel guilty? Would he feel remorse?  He didn’t think he would ever know.

Just then, he noticed his friend break away from his wife and started walking toward him. His look was not sad, but instead very angry. He was clearly not coming over to offer his condolences.

“You killed her!” he said. He started screaming expletives and using some creative words before his wife came up and restrained him.

By then, the man in the sunglasses and fedora hat had tuned him out. It was as if he were watching a movie with the volume turned really low and in slow motion. He thought he felt nothing. And everyone was now watching the ruckus.

“You’re heartless!” yelled his friend. “Why don’t you at least come pay your respects? You’re not even showing a hint of emotion! You’re responsible for this! You give me back my sister! How can you call yourself her husband? You’re just heartless,” his brother-in-law said as he dropped to the ground weeping. “You give me back my sister you son-of-a-bitch.”

He watched his brother-in-law crying like a little child on the ground. He felt remorse. He knew he was responsible. He knew, because of his actions, Maggie had died. He knew very well who should be the one to pay. But there was nothing he could do. There was nothing that could bring her back. Give me back my sister he asks. He didn’t have the power (or the right!) to do such a thing. Did he even know what he was asking for?

Instead of responding, he turned away from him and started walking toward his car. He turned his back on his brother-in-law and the rest of the family, letting them think he didn’t care at all about Maggie. Let them believe what they want, he thought. I know the truth.

The rest of the family watched as he walked away. They watched with a little anger, but mostly sadness. Their thoughts were easily ascertained. What drove him to be like this, they thought. Why didn’t he at least shed a tear for poor little Maggie? Didn’t he at least love her?

Samuel kept walking, wondering what they thought of him. For a moment, he stopped. The family thought he was about to turn around and come back to them, but instead he only turned halfway and paused. Then he resumed walking to his car and quietly got in.

If only everyone was close enough to see the tears running down his face then.

Demons. Let’s start with these sons of bitches. They’re very, very rare. Remember, all Demons are fallen Angels. That’s right. They took the plunge along with Lucifer when he defied God. So what do you think the chances are that you’d ever see one? That’s right, slim to none. Demons are rare. They’re even rarer to interact with. They normally have spirits do their bidding. Yes, they make us lowly humans do all the nasty stuff.

So you’ll hear about the possessions, and so on and think it’s a Demon, but the truth is, it’s only a powerful spirit given extra mojo by some Demon. It’s not to say that these spirits are not a force to be reckoned with. But what it comes down to is that they are still spirits and are bound to the same laws as normal spirits.

There are also variations of such pseudo-demons as well. You have the rage demons, fire demons, etc. There are even good demons. It may seem impossible, but it’s true. Good demons are rare. I think I can count on one hand the amount of good demons.

Now Angels. Those guys aren’t much different from Demons. They always follow orders. They never question their superiors. The odds are slim that you will actually see or meet one. Angels are cut from the same cloth as Demons, remember.

Angels carry out the orders of God. They make sure their pseudo-angels know all that is going on. These spirits that we call Angels carry much power, but mostly their power is used to influence humans, and give them the correct decisions to make their outcome just a bit happier.

You hear the work of pseudo-angels everywhere you go. You hear about a miracle here and there. Someone gets a miraculous save from a house fire, or someone lives through some accident and believe God was on their side. This is only partially true. Most likely what happened is a pseudo-angel came in time to save the day.

But this is all about Angels and Demons. The real thing. Truth is, I don’t know much more than this about them. Because they’re so rare, there is very little “real” lore about them. As far as we’re all concerned, anything that shows up in the bible is fact concerning their powers and abilities.

I do however know that they are not omniscient or omnipotent. They have their limits. They can only hear or know what’s going on in your general area if you utter their name. Otherwise, they won’t know what’s going on. They are not God. Even Lucifer/Satan is not necessarily omnipotent. He is certainly not omniscient. He is still, in essence, an Angel, after all.

Demons are the same way. Don’t utter their name, and they won’t hear you. Unless they already know to look for you. In which case, Angel or Demon, you don’t want that to happen.

I also want to say this. Vampires are dead. That means they are dead. D-E-A-D dead. They don’t have a heartbeat, they feel cold as hell, and they aren’t exactly the party types. They don’t drink, they don’t eat (can you imagine? ugh), and they certainly do NOT, I repeat, do NOT procreate. That means no vampire babies and definitely no half vampires. You’re either a vampire or you’re not. You’re dead or you’re not dead. Pretty simple right? So put your misconceptions away about vampire romance, because it isn’t going to happen.

Now I’m not privileged to know exactly how they create more vampires, but I do know that it involves magic of some kind. No one really knows how vampirism started. It’s a question even the oldest of vampires have. (Or so I hear) Everyone has a need to know their origins, even vampires, even if they’re not human. I think it’s probably more of a curse than a magical thing, but I have no idea, only theories. It’s just a guess I have from my experience hunting them down. You can’t become a vampire just by being bitten by one. That’s something I know from experience. As far as I know, they don’t drain your blood and leave you on the cusp of death and feed you back their own blood either. So your guess is as good as mine on how they’re created. I only know how they’re not made.

Just because vampires are dead, don’t think they don’t have intelligence. They’re definitely not zombies. Zombies are another story. Anyways, vampires retain their smarts. They’re just the same as when they were alive, except they’re dead. Some things are enhanced, however. They do possess a sort of superhuman strength. I’ve seen a colleague get tossed across a big room with relative ease by a vampire once. Pretty scary stuff. I just want to point out that all physical attributes are increased. They’re faster, stronger, and they can endure quite a bit. I’ve also heard of vampires who could actually mesmerize people. But I think this is from experience and something they had before they turned. If you were a psychic as a human, when you turn, your psychic ability would be on steroids and become powerful. Imagine the possibilities! It’s kinda scary actually.

Now I know what you’re thinking. If a vampire doesn’t have all these weaknesses like garlic, silver and such, how do you kill them? Believe me, it’s not easy. It’s not exactly a booming career choice, being a vampire hunter. Most of us don’t live past a few months to be honest. I’m actually surprised that I’ve survived as long as I have. It’s been 20 years since I started hunting. I have to admit there are only a handful of us left. It’s kinda sad actually. Sometimes I really miss some of those guys from the old days. We had some fun.

But I digress.

Vampire hunting just requires a lot of planning. You have to know what you’re going up against. Staking a vampire isn’t going to kill him. It’s actually not rocket science. There are no special rituals or hokey pokey thing you have to do in order for a vampire to die. They’re somewhat like us human folk. Personally, I prefer decapitation. It’s kinda tough to recover from that. When your head is separated from the body, unless you’re a golem or something you’re pretty much finished. But if cutting off heads isn’t for you, normally just doing enough damage to the body is going to finish them off. A few bullets might not be enough to stop a vampire, but I’m pretty sure if you shot one up full of them with a machine gun they’ll go away. It’s a waste of ammo though. A good machete is great for vampire hunting. Just saying.

Vampires do crave blood. It’s not exactly for what you think. There’s no hunger or anything like that. They don’t exactly need it to “live”. They certainly don’t get warmer when they drink blood, that’s for sure. They need it to heal themselves, essentially. It again has something to do with the magic. Remember, a vampire is dead. That means the normal means of healing don’t happen. I mean, they don’t have a heart that beats, right? How can they possibly heal themselves? When they drink blood, the magic/curse is empowered and uses up the blood and heals their wounds. Make sense?

Vampire society is pretty straightforward. They set themselves up in covens similar to witches, and there’s usually a coven for every large city. For smaller towns and communities, a coven could be one master vampire (usually the oldest) to maybe one to three younger/weaker vampires. In the big cities, I’ve seen covens as large as hundreds. It really depends on the community and the population. Normally, I don’t mess with covens. They usually have their own laws that prevent unnecessary killing of humans. Though personally I can’t think of a time when it would be necessary. I mean, really, right?

Anyways, vampires don’t normally go out and kill people and drain their blood, leaving them for dead. I don’t even know what they do. Why do they even exist? I have no idea. My job is to take care of them if they cross that line. I scan the papers for mysterious deaths, and investigate. If there’s a coven going out of control, I’m there. That’s my job. Of course, vampires don’t see it that way. Funny how things work.

What other myths can I squash? Oh, vampires don’t turn into bats or wolves or any other thing. They’re not shape changers, like therians (short for therianthropes). I’m pretty sure we have enough things out there that can change their shape. We don’t need vampires doing it too. Oh and vampires don’t sleep. Not really. I mean they’re dead. Last I checked sleeping wasn’t necessary for dead people. So they don’t have coffins, and they don’t sleep during the day, and no, the daytime isn’t necessarily the best time to hunt them.

The biggest thing about vampires is this: they look just like us. They can be your neighbor, your mailman, your coworker, anyone. They look and act like us, except for a few subtle things. If you looked at a vampire enough, you’ll notice they don’t breathe. I mean they are so still sometimes you’d think they were dead. See what I mean? Also, they might avoid touching you or anyone. Normally their skin is going to be cold, or perhaps not so cold. They’re gonna be the temperature of the environment. This could be why there are so many vampires in warmer climates. So they blend in better. But think about it. Anyone can be a vampire.

Already forgotten, Cricket kept on walking down the street, oblivious to everything that just happened. She was just happy she was finally engaged. She fished her cell phone out of her pocket and called Sheila.  She asked her best friend she must meet her for shopping, as she had some great new to tell her. She told her to hurry and that she was already in the shopping district so she should meet her at the Chinese market they always went to. Now that her day was planned out, she started walking faster towards the market.

***

From across the street, the man in the dark trench coat had watched everything that had transpired, and was determined to get the object in Cricket’s purse. Of course, he didn’t know that was her name. Nor did he care. He was only interested in whatever was dropped in her purse. He guessed that today he would be a purse snatcher. Great, he thought, more trouble with the law. It was nothing new for him. He wasn’t exactly the nice type after all.

***

Cricket was browsing the wares in the Chinese market when yet another man bumped into her. Ok, this is getting really old, she thought, and spun around only to see the best looking man she had ever seen. She was instantly smitten. There was nothing flawed about him at all. He was even the perfect height. She was very short herself, and really preferred very tall men. There was something about a taller man that she loved.  He was looking down at her and apologized for bumping into her. He was just really very clumsy. She hardly heard him. She only nodded and told him it was all ok, even she’s clumsy on occasion. Kneeling down, he picked up her purse and handed it back to her. In the confusion she didn’t even realize she dropped it. She thanked him and they soon parted ways.

Soon after that, Sheila walked into the store and Cricket went to meet her. She immediately told Sheila about this man she literally bumped into. Laughing, Sheila asked her if that’s the great news she had to tell her. That good-looking man must have charmed her more than she thought. Cricket had totally forgotten the great news she had to share. Immediately she showed Sheila her ring. Sheila was excited, and jumping up and down, hugged her friend. The left the market and went to Sheila’s place instead to have a few drinks.

***

He opened up the small package the stranger had dropped into Cricket’s purse. It was a small black box. He smiled, knowing some of the tricks some people might leave in such a box. Instead of opening it, he put it on the table and drew a circle around it in chalk. Murmuring to himself, he snapped his fingers and the chalk line began to glow a bit and went out with a popping sound. Satisfied it was safe to open the box, he did so. Inside was a ring. He pondered the ring for a moment. He wondered what it was for. Was it a signet ring perhaps? He finally took it out of the box and studied it. It was a simple gold ring. It looked like it could have been a wedding ring, but it had the feel of being very, very old. It definitely looked as if it was taken care of.

Putting the ring back into the box, he sat back and wondered why the stranger had dropped it into Cricket’s purse. What was her story? Why was she important? And what was the ring for? Whose ring was it? He had many questions. He needed answers. Putting the black box into his coat pocket, he went out to find some.