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Ask K Questions And Answers - My insensitive man...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What do you do when your insensitive man is taking away your strength?

	My husband has turned into one of the most insensitive men I know. He forgot my birthday, our anniversary and the anniversary we used to celebrate of when we first fell in love. We have been married for five years and this has just started happening. I don't know what to think. When I approach him about this he brushes me off. He acts as if I don't exist anymore. Could he be having an affair? What should I do? - My Insensitive Man in AZ

	He could be having an affair or he could just be getting older. Sometimes we forget things as we age. Before I throw the book at him, I'd have to know more. It may be possible that he is having medical issues that are causing him to become forgetful. It is also possible that he could be unhappy in your marriage. Before I condemn him, I would suggest that you talk with him about counseling. If he won't get counseling, won't talk about what is going on and won't interact with you, then you may need to talk to a good lawyer. Try communication first. Make sure you try hard!

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Ask K Questions And Answers - My Husband Cheated...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 25 May 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What should you do when you discover your husband has been having an affair, but, he still works with the woman he had the affair with?

	I recently discovered that my husband has been having an affair. We have been married for 3 years and he has been having the affair for the past 6 months. He works with the woman he was having the affair with. He and I have gone to counseling and I feel that the only way that I can stay in the marriage is if he finds another job. I am losing my mind every time he goes to work. He is a lawyer at a respected law firm. The problem is that he refuses to leave. He told me that he can just stay away from her. It's not good enough for me. What should I do? - Can't Make Things Right in FL

	What should you do? I think you should follow your heart. If your husband cheated with this woman while he was married he has already demonstrated an inability to control himself. You can't trust that he will now be able to restrain himself. You have been placed in an unenviable position. If I were you, I would explain to my husband that this is a deal breaker. You can't spend your life worried about your husband's affair. You have to live and move on with your life. Although it may be painful, I would give your husband an ultimatum and then follow through with it. It may hurt to leave a cheating spouse initially, however, your hurt will heal in time. Staying in a relationship that you don't feel comfortable with is asking for trouble. In the end, you have to ask yourself how much your sanity means to you and then you have to do what is best for your you. He created the situation, he should be willing to do whatever it takes to make it right. This is just my humble opinion.

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Ask K Questions And Answers - My Girlfriend's Son...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 18 May 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What do you do when your girlfriend has a child that acts up?

	My girlfriend has a 7 year old son. He is not well behaved at all. He talks back. He throws tantrums if he doesn't get his way. He is just horrible. The problem for me is that I believe it's my girlfriend's fault. She doesn't correct him. She tries to be his friend instead of his mother. I love her a great deal, but, I can't be with someone that doesn't control their child. She says that I shouldn't concern myself with what she does with her son. She says it's not my place. I say that if I'm going to be in her life and his life, then I need to have a hand in correcting him. Am I right or wrong? I'm at the end of my rope with this kid. - At the End Of My Rope In MN

	OK. Here is the first thing. Your girlfriend is right when she says it is not your place to correct her son. It is her place. However, if she isn't doing the job, then you have a decision to make. Situations like this don't usually get better on their own. Either the kid gets into a lot of trouble that forces the parent to look at what they are doing or the child's behaviour just keeps getting worse. In your case, the woman you are dating has not come to the point where she can objectively see how her child's actions are affecting your relationship. I would suggest that you sit down and talk honestly with her. You didn't indicate whether or not you already tried this. If you haven't, sit down and talk to her. If you have, then you need to really think about what you want out of the relationship. Imagine having more children with her. Would she be the type of mother you would want for your child? If not, then you need to think long and hard about your relationship.

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Ask K Questions And Answers - Have I Changed...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 11 May 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What happens when one spouse stays the same while the other changes?

	My wife has never been affectionate. We have been married for 17 years. Even though I love my wife, I've had several affairs. I have recently been thinking about getting divorced. It's not that my wife has changed. It's that I realize that I want more. I'm afraid of ending up old and miserable with her. She doesn't think that there is anything wrong with her lack of affection. Should I leave my wife? Other than this issue she is nice to be around. - Changing in GA

	First, I just want to be clear about something. The fact that your wife is not affectionate is not why you cheated. You cheated because you wanted to. You had a lot of options. I believe that being in a relationship where you are not being honest is not healthy. You are having affairs and, presumably, lying to your wife about them. If you can't honor your marriage vows, then you need to be single. You may have changed over the years, but, one thing that hasn't changed is the fact that you are married. If you can't keep your penis in your pants, then move on. Stop trying to use your wife as an excuse for your bad behavior. Accept responsibility and let your wife go find someone that will love her for her.

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Ask K Questions And Answers - My Daughter Is Gay...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 04 May 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What happens when you find out your daughter is gay and she brings her girlfriend home?

	My daughter recently came home for a visit with someone she was dating. She has been telling me about this person for a while, but, she never said his name. She told me that she was going to bring her date to meet me. When she got home, I was shocked to discover that her love interest was a woman. I reacted poorly. I have always taught my daughter to be tolerant and accepting of other people, but, I don't feel like I can accept this. I don't know what to do. She has ruined my hopes and dreams for grandkids and seeing her married and happy. How can I get past this? - Hypocrite Mom In NY

	Tolerance is easy to preach when you have nothing to be tolerant of isn't it? Your daughter is who she is - no matter what hopes and dreams you may have for her. Your fondest wish shouldn't be that she find a man and have kids. It should be that she is happy. Your daughter being a lesbian doesn't change the fact that she is your daughter and it doesn't change the fact that she loves you. It shouldn't change the fact that you love her. You need to go to your daughter and her friend and apologize for your poor behavior. You also need to get help for yourself if your reason for not being able to accept your daughter's lifestyle stems from prejudice. Please know that your daughter shouldn't have to be anyone other than who she is for you to love her. Remember that.

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Ask K Questions And Answers - My wife's mother...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What do you do when your mother in law is driving you insane?

	My mother in law wants to move in with my wife and I. I am absolutely against this. She is controlling, demeaning, nasty and generally a bad person to be around. I can only take her on holidays as it is. I have told my wife that I will pay for her mother to have an apartment rather than have her move in with us. My wife has given me an ultimatum - either agree to let her mother move in or face a divorce. K I have considerable assets and a divorce would cost me plenty of money, but I cannot stomach this woman. Am I overreacting? Is there something else that I can do to keep my marriage yet still consider my wife's feelings? - In-Law Madness in MD

	First of all, you have my sympathy. If you and your wife are both willing to consider divorce, then this issue is serious. I don't think that either of you should be using your marriage as a weapon against the other. Marriage is about respect and compromise. There has to be some middle ground for the two of you. Ask yourself if there is any middle ground that would work for the both of you. If you were willing to put her up into an apartment, then perhaps a place close by with a nurse might be an option for the two of you. If I were you I would sit and talk to your wife honestly about your options. The reality is that if you are really ready to divorce then the house would likely be sold and your wife and mother in law would have to find someplace to go. Think about that. You also wouldn't be required to pay for your mother-in-law's expenses if you and your wife divorced. If I were you, I would sit down and calmly go through your options with your wife. The truth is that a divorce wouldn't give her what she wants and it wouldn't give you what you want - so talk it out and be reasonable.

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Create Something Special For Your Girlfriend Or Wife That She Is Guaranteed To Love!

The Dating Tips Magazine — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:25:01 +0000

Picking out the perfect gift for a woman can be hard, especially if you have been with her for any amount of time. Birthdays, special occasions, Christmas - the number and types of gifts you have to buy over time can keep you constantly guessing about the right gift. Well today you are in luck! I'm going to tell you how you can create a gift that the special woman in your life will absolutely love!

First of all, let me tell you something about women. Women love to receive gifts that show that you actually had to think about what you were doing. Gifts that don't reflect a lot of effort or thought can go along way in making a woman feel like she doesn't matter to you. Picaboo has something that is going to help you when you want to do something nice for your wife or when you want to do something nice for your girlfriend.

Picaboo allows you to create stunning picture books and cards using your own photos. These books aren't just simple items you could print on your inkjet printer. These are stunning works of art that really show a high level of creativity and imagination.

Here are some good events you could use the beautiful picture books to celebrate:

A Birthday
A Wedding
An Engagement
Christmas
Mother's Day (All of the kids pictures in the book would be really nice!)
Weight Loss
Pregnancy (A month to month montage of her pregnancy really shows you care!)
A Positive Physical Transformation
Just Because (One of the best reasons)

Showing her that you care doesn't have to be hard. It just requires a little bit of thought and a lot of imagination! Put forth the effort to do something different this year! Put that purse down, cancel the flowers that will look like crap by the end of the week, take the perfume back to the store and get her something that she will KNOW you had to put time and effort into! The process is very simple. You just upload your photos and Picaboo does the rest! Isn't that easy?

Click anywhere on this line to check out all of the beautiful gifts that Picaboo has and then get your lady something special. She will love you for it! Just remember, you can't go wrong with a thoughtful gift!

Written By Kila Morton

Ask K Questions And Answers - Does she like him...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Does my girl friend like my guy friend?

	I have a friend who really loves one of my best female friends. They don't talk to each other much and they have only seen each other a small number of times at friend's parties. He, however, has loved her since high school, which has been over 6 years. She and I were talking recently and she was telling me how she is lonely and how she feels like everyone she knows is going out with someone. I thought I would test her and see if she liked my friend by suggesting that I ask him if he liked her. She said OK, but she quickly added that she thought my friend was cute and nice, but she didn't think there was anything there. She said she didn't want to give me the wrong idea like she was interested in him. What does she mean? Is she saying that she won't go out with him or is she scared that he might not like her and is just acting like she doesn't like him to be on the safe side? Is there any hope for my friend to go out with her? Should he tell her how he feels? He is thinking that maybe she feels like he doesn't really like her. He is feeling down. What should he do? - My Best Friends Keeper in CA

	First, let me say that you were really nice to test the water for your friend. He should be thankful that he has someone like you looking out for him. Now on to your questions. First of all, I think that she certainly is interested in him. If she wasn't, she never would have said it was OK for you to probe him about his feelings for her. She is certainly interested - even if only for her personal knowledge. I think that she added her disclaimer to her OK because she doesn't want to feel stupid if she finds out that he doesn't like her. It is also clear to me that she doesn't have an idea that your friend likes her. Your friend has likely played things too cool for too long. This is a problem if he really does like her and he should solve the problem right away. He, not you, should be the one to tell her that he likes her and ask her out on a date. It's not hard. He should approach her and talk to her about his desire to date her. Based on your letter, I firmly believe that she will be receptive because she is lonely and she seems to be interested in this guy. Tell him to stop being scared before he misses his chance! If he doesn't talk to her right away, he may end up sidelined by some guy that isn't afraid to tell her how he feels. He shouldn't tell her that he has loved her for 6 years because that makes him look cowardly since he was afraid to say something. Instead, he should tell her that he finds her interesting and would consider it an honor if she would go out with him. Women love that stuff :-)! Tell your friend good luck!

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7 Ways To Know If You Are Stopping The Person You Are With From Finding True Love?

The Dating Tips Magazine — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

It happens all too often. We start dating someone and as time goes by we realize that the person is not the one. Often, instead of just leaving, we stay in the relationship. Sometimes we stay out of a since of obligation and sometimes we stay for more selfish reasons. We sometimes stay simply because WE don't want to face possibly being alone. We don't want to face getting rid of the relationship only to find that we can't easily find someone new. So we stay in a relationship we know we don't want to be in and we try to make the best of the situation. The main problem is that this approach rarely yields a happy relationship. If you know that you aren't happy with the person you are with, yet you won't take the initiative to leave, you need to ask yourself a very important question. Are you stopping the person you are with from finding true love? It may be hard to be introspective enough to answer this question so I'm going to help you. If you do or say some of the things outlined below, you may be stopping the person you are with from finding true happiness with someone that wants to be with them just as they are.

Indicator That You Are Stopping The Person You Are With From Finding True Love Dating Tip 1 -
Do you constantly try to change things about the person you are with even though they are fine with who they are?
This is often a very clear indicator that you don't want to be with the person you are with and may be preventing them from moving on and finding happiness. Often we delude ourselves into thinking that we are trying to change the person we are with so that they will be better people. Often, the sad truth is that our reasons are far more about us and far less about the person we are with than we are willing to admit. Just because someone isn't as smart, as slim or as whatever as we want them to be doesn't mean that they are unhappy with who they are. Many times we try to change them simply because deep inside we know that we don't want them as they are. Mentally, the only way for us to deal with staying with them within ourselves is to try and change the things we don't like about them. We rationalize and tell ourselves that we are staying because we are trying to make a positive change in the person's life, but really we are staying because deep down inside we are just afraid of being alone. Doing this is not only unfair to the person we are with, it is unfair to us. They deserve someone who wants to be with them for who they are and not for what someone else wants them to be. That doesn't mean that the changes you are trying to make may not be positive changes that they should make for themselves. It simply means that your reasons for wanting the change stem from you trying to make them into who you want them to be so that you can stomach staying with them when you know you don't want to.

Indicator That You Are Stopping The Person You Are With From Finding True Love Dating Tip 2 -
Do you constantly complain about the things the person you are seeing does?
When you constantly pick and complain about the things a person does, you don't want to be with them. It's that simple. People tend to pick a person apart when they aren't happy in the relationship. Nothing the person you are with says or does is good enough. You start complaining about almost everything. You are doing this because deep inside you know that this person isn't what you want and the fact that you are feeling this way makes you question yourself internally about why you are in the relationship. When you can't answer that question for yourself, you become angry with yourself and you lash out at the person without even realizing it. It's almost like you are saying "I can't believe I'm with you! You don't know enough about the world to have an intelligent conversation" or "I can't believe I'm with you! You are stupid!". Instead of just being mature enough to call it quits, we pick and pick and pick until finally the person either breaks down or leaves.

Indicator That You Are Stopping The Person You Are With From Finding True Love Dating Tip 3 -
When you are away from them, do you get instantly annoyed when you see that they have called you?
Our minds work in funny ways sometimes. Often, when we don't want to be with a person, yet we are forcing ourselves to stay, even a simple thing like a phone call from them leaves us feeling disgusted. Just seeing their name on the caller id of our phones fills us with dread. We don't want to talk to them. We don't want to see them, yet we know we will. This is a clear indicator that we should not be in the relationship.

Indicator That You Are Stopping The Person You Are With From Finding True Love Dating Tip 4 -
Do you actively plan for the day when you are no longer with the person?
Let me tell you something. People in happy relationships don't actively plan for what they are going to do when they relationship is over. It just doesn't happen. When you aren't with the person you want to be with, however, you spend lots of time thinking about what you will do when you aren't with the person you are seeing. You think of places you will go, people you will meet and all of the fun and/or peace you will have. This is one of the biggest indicators that you and the person you are with should not be together.

Indicator That You Are Stopping The Person You Are With From Finding True Love Dating Tip 5 -
Do you constantly complain about how the person you are with doesn't understand or get who you are or what you need?
Let's face it. If everyone could read minds organized society would likely disintegrate. People would know every thought of the person they were seeing and they probably wouldn't be happy with what they discovered. So the fact that people can't read minds is a good thing. However, when you are in a relationship with someone that doesn't have that innate ability to "get" who you are as a person, you can quickly find yourself wishing that they would just up and fly away. The sad truth is that people can't fly! When you really come to the point where you can clearly see that the person you are with doesn't understand your wants and needs and yet you stay with them, you are on the road to stopping that person from finding true love. A person who truly lacks the capacity to relate to you isn't likely to develop it overnight or any time soon. Staying with them when you know how you really feel does everyone a disservice.

Indicator That You Are Stopping The Person You Are With From Finding True Love Dating Tip 6 -
Do you constantly imagine the person you are with as someone else or wish that they were someone else?
Wishing or imagining that the person you are with is someone else is a sign of not wanting to be with the person. When you can't look at the person you are with and be happy with exactly who they are, then you are placing yourself in a situation where you are likely going to be unhappy. You can't possibly think that the relationship is going to be a healthy and strong one when you feel this way. It is very hard to hide your true feelings for a long period of time and you aren't going to be able to do that AND be happy about it for any length of time. You aren't being true to yourself or the relationship. It's very hard to deal with someone when they don't fit into our ideal of what a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband should be. It's even harder to be fake about it and maintain your sanity in the relationship. This is an indication that it is time to move on.

Indicator That You Are Stopping The Person You Are With From Finding True Love Dating Tip 7 -
When the person you are seeing does something that you find distasteful, do you immediately think about how you should not be with them?
It never fails. When you are seeing someone that you don't really want to be with, they are bound to do things that you don't like. It could be something as simple as the way they eat spaghetti, the way they speak, how they brush their teeth, how they speak to the their parents, how they deal with their friends or any number of other things. The issue is that when you see them do whatever, your mind immediately flashes to something that doesn't happen when you are in a happy relationship. Your mind flashes to the fact that you should not be with this person. Your mind is right.

When you aren't happy with someone it shows. It shows in your actions, it shows in what you say and it shows in how you treat the other person. You can't blame them for being who they are and you can't fault them for being happy that way. What you have to do is be mature enough to walk away from the relationship if it isn't what you want. You aren't helping them when you stay and constantly try to change them. You also aren't helping them when you stay and constantly complain. You are being dishonest and selfish when you do this because there is someone out there who would want the person you are seeing just as they are. Your desire to not be alone stops you from letting them go to find that person.

If you are in a situation where you are with someone that you know you don't want to be with, stop complaining and move on. Find someone who is right for you and let them find someone who is right for them. Often, they aren't even aware that you really don't want to be in the relationship and it isn't fair to stay when you know the truth about how you feel. Staying in the relationship is a cowardly move on your part and it stops the person you are with from finding true happiness, which is something we should want for them since we know that they aren't the ones for us.

Written By Kila Morton

Cowardly Break Ups! 9 Cowardly Ways To End A Relationship

The Dating Tips Magazine — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Breaking up with someone can be a real hard thing to do, especially if you are a person that likes to avoid conflict. Some people who like to avoid conflict will even stay in bad relationships because they don't want to be seen as the bad person during a breakup. For people like this, cowardly break ups seem like a welcome alternative to a nasty confrontational break up. The only problem is that a cowardly break up is....well...cowardly, for lack of a better word. If you plan to end the relationship in any of the following ways, just know that you are being a coward.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 1 - Over The Phone
Breaking up over the phone may give you an easy way out. You don't have to see the person crying. You can disconnect if the conversation gets heated. However, unless the person is violent in some way, you are being a coward. If you didn't start a relationship with them over the phone, don't decide to end it with them over the phone. Go to them in person and talk about the reasons why you are leaving. Breaking up with someone over the phone leaves that person feeling like they don't matter to you. They may not matter to you, but it's still bad form on your part.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 2 - Text Message
Text messages should never be used to end a relationship unless you are a complete and total jerk. If you can't be man or woman enough to look the person in the eye and say that you don't want to be with them anymore and instead decide to rely on text messages to end the relationship, you are a coward.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 3 - Voicemail Message
Again, taking the time to tell the person face to face is best. Leaving a voicemail message that says it's over is cowardly.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 4 - Email Message
Email is just as bad as a text message. This is a very cowardly way to end the relationship and only invites more contact with the person. Just think about it. Would you just accept an email that says it's over? You would have questions and you would want answers. The person you are dating is no different. Don't take the cowards way out and breakup with someone via email.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 5 - Via A Mailed Letter
If you didn't get into a relationship with the person using a letter, don't try to get out of a relationship using a cowardly letter.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 6 - By Telling One Of Their Friends
For the majority of people, a break up is a big deal. Telling other people about your desire to end the relationship so that they can relay that message to the person you were involved with is cowardly. If their friends were not the ones you talked to when you wanted to get into the relationship, don't let them be who you turn to when you want to end it. Doing this is cowardly.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 7 - By Telling A Member Of Their Family
Why, oh why do people want to involve someone else's family in a break up? Doing this makes you look like a jerk and it's just plain cowardly. If you ever cared about the person you were with, don't involve their family. It is embarassing and they may not want their family to know. If you didn't ask the family to commmunicate with your soon to be ex to get into the relationship, don't take the cowards way out and ask them to help you end it.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 8 - By Not Telling Them You Want To Break Up And Instead Just Avoiding Their Calls
Many people try to avoid confrontation by just ignoring the person they are seeing and hoping the person will just go away. This is not only cowardly, it is irresponsible and disrespectful. Why would you want to have a person wondering why you are ignoring them instead of just being honest with them and telling them you don't want to be with them anymore? Doing this will likely make the person angry because it doesn't offer them any closure. If you have a heart, invest 10 minutes of your time in telling the person you are seeing that you don't want to be with them anymore. Don't be a coward and let them end up hating you because you ignore them.

Cowardly Breakup Dating Tip 9 - Leaving Them A Note On A Car, Door Or At Someplace You Know They Will Be
Leaving notes is for kids. If you are mature, act like it. Don't leave notes for the person to find. If you didn't use a note to get into the relationship, don't try to use a note to get out of it. Just be honest and upfront about your desire to leave and then move on.

If you are going to break up with someone, be strong and face the situation head on. Meet with them face to face and tell them that you are breaking up with them. If you were woman or man enough to get into the relationship, be woman or man enough to end it with dignity. You may not want to see the person's reaction to what you have to say, but if you have any kind of decency at all you will face them and not be a coward when it's time to say "It's over!"

Written By Kila Morton

5 Ways To Know If You Are An Enabler For Someone Who Is Cheating On You

The Dating Tips Magazine — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Cheating can devastate a relationship. Often the mistrust and hurt are impossible to get over. For those people who are able to forgive the cheater and stay in the relationship, the future of the relationship still remains cloudy. From one moment to the next, those who forgive can never be sure that the situation won't come up again. In fact, what usually ends up happening is that they become enablers for the cheater - unwilling to leave the relationship, yet unhappy with the idea of their mates being unfaithful. It may be hard to see that you are enabling someone to be unfaithful while you are in the relationship, however, it may be exactly what is going on. The first step to stopping someone from hurting you is to take responsibility for the role you are playing in what is going on in the relationship. Are you enabling a cheater to cheat in your relationship? Here are some ways to help you identify if you are.

The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #1
You know the person you are seeing is cheating, yet you say nothing to them about it.
There are so many men and women that stay with people that they know for sure are cheating on them! It is crazy. There are a number of reasons that people stay with people when they know 100% that the person is cheating on them. Here are a few reasons that people stay with people when they know that the person is cheating.
- Fear of losing the person you love
- Not wanting the person they are cheating with to "win"
- Believing you can change the person
- Feeling like you've invested too much into the relationship
- Thinking the the person you are with will decide that what they are doing is wrong and they will then just stop cheating.
- Feeling like you have done something to cause them to cheat
The problem is that your passive stance on cheating is enabling the person to continue without changing anything. If you are a cheater and you feel that the person you are with knows that you are cheating, yet they do nothing, why would you stop? What reason for change would you have? The answer is that they don't have a reason. By saying nothing, you are accepting and enabling their behavior with you. Let me tell you something. Nothing is going to get better until and unless you tackle this problem head on. Passive behaviour won't help your relationship. Do something about the problem you are facing before it's too late.

The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #2
The person you are dating makes comments in front of you, to you or around other people while you are around about wanting to cheat or cheating and you say nothing in response. Often, cheaters test the waters to see how far they can push things. When they say little things about cheating and you don't respond, they may perceive that to be an acknowledgment of what they want to do and an endorsement of it. You have to be proactive about monitoring the health of your relationship. A person who insinuates that they are going to cheat or says that they are going to cheat is priming you for finding out that they actually are cheating. Don't fall into this trap. If the person you are with wants to talk about how much they want to cheat, make sure you talk about how you are going to leave if they do.

The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #3
The person you are dating hits on other people while you are with them, yet you say nothing. This is very disrespectful, however, it's amazing how many people do this. If you are going to allow the person you are with to do this while you stand there and say nothing, you might as well put a sign on your chest that says "Cheating With My Mate Is OK With Me!". Again, not responding to this outrageous behavior acts as an endorsement of it to the person you are with. There are some people who are naturally flirtatious, however, being disrespectful is something different. Make sure you talk to the person you are with about the issues you have with what they are doing.

The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #4
You find evidence that the person may be cheating, but you consciously decide not to investigate it any further. Listen. Sticking your head in the sand and hoping that things aren't what you suspect they are is ridiculous. Your mate could be exposing you to diseases, crazy people or crazy situations. The person your mate is cheating with could decide to try to eliminate you. It sounds crazy, but people have killed other people for far less! Don't think that because you stick your head in the sand this situation is going to resolve itself. By not investigating things you run the risk of not knowing the truth - good or bad! This isn't going to save your relationship. If you find out something, put in the time and effort to determine if your mate is cheating or not.

The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #5
The person cheats on you more than once and you forgive them. There is one important fact that a lot of people in this situation forget or don't take into account. That fact is that you can forgive someone WITHOUT staying with them! Just because you accept that someone is sorry for what they have done does not mean that you should just forgive them and stay with them. Staying with a person that cheats on you repeatedly is enabling them to continue to do what they are doing to you. If a person that cheats knows that they can just say I'm sorry and have you take them back, why would they EVER stop?

Your mate is ultimately responsible for there actions, however, there is no denying that you can play a role in enabling them to continue cheating on you. If you are not playing an active part in letting your mate know that what they are doing is unacceptable, then you are playing an active role in allowing them to do it. You have to stop if you want something different for your relationship. It doesn't make you a bad person if you forgive them and decide that you don't want to be with them anymore. If you do want to be with them, you have to set boundaries. If the person violates those boundaries, then you need to leave. You can't keep doing the same thing and expect that you are going to get some different result. That is the definition of insanity. Instead, you have to make it clear that there are things that you simply will not allow in your relationships and then stick to those things. Cheating is a hard thing to deal with, but it must be dealt with. Don't let the person you are with make an enabler out of you. Take control of yourself and stop being an enabler today!

Written By Kila Morton

Ask K Questions And Answers - A small penis...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

How do I deal with a boyfriend with a small penis?

	I have a big problem over a small thing - literally. At first I thought it was really sweet that my boyfriend wanted to wait to have sex. We have been together for six months without having sex. He treats me like an absolute queen. Recently we were having an intimate moment and we decided to have sex. It was then that I discovered that he had a really small penis. I mean really small. I was shocked. Honestly I have never seen a penis so small! Without being too explicit, I will tell you that it was almost impossible to really "use" it. I didn't know what to do afterward. We haven't spoken about it and I haven't pushed him to have sex again. How should I handle this? - Dealing With Small Things in TX

	Well a number of small things come to mind. Pun intended. If your boyfriend treats you with respect and love, then you have to ask yourself if you can go without a large penis and accept all that he has to offer. Sometimes we have to be thankful for the things that mean the most. Can you be happy with that? I'm assuming from your letter that you can't be. If you could be, you wouldn't have sent the letter in right? That means that you are looking for something that your man can't offer you. Don't make him feel less than. There is a woman out there that will take a guy that treats them with kindness, love and respect over a guy with a big penis that may not be so nice. If you can't handle the size of his manhood, then let him go find a woman who can.

View Past Ask K Questions & Answers Have A Question? Submit It Here

10 Reasons Why You May Want To Have A Prenuptial Agreement

The Dating Tips Magazine — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:34:54 +0000

When you decide to get married, you typically are faced with a variety of decisions. Decisions have to be made about a lot of things before you end up actually taking your vows. One of the things that you may be asking yourself is whether or not a prenuptial agreement is something you should be thinking about. If you have a child or children from a prior relationship, assets that are very important to you or assets that you want to stay in your family, a prenuptial agreement may be something that you need to think about.

Many people think that even asking about a prenuptial agreement means that you aren't fully committed to the marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact that you want to protect certain assets in case of a divorce is smart. Just to put things into perspective, Rosanne Barr fired her attorney in 1990 because he suggested that she should ask Tom Arnold to sign a prenuptial agreement. Four years later, in 1994, their divorce ended up costing her $50 million dollars. Even after paying that $50 million, she still had money. What if she was only making $50,000 and he wanted $15K or $20K? Paul McCartney's four year marriage ended up costing him about $48.6 million. You may be thinking that you don't have that kind of money so a prenuptial isn't necessary for you. Let's examine why a prenuptial agreement may be one of the best things you can do to secure your assets in the event of a divorce.

What Do Prenuptial Agreements Do

A prenuptial agreement is a contractual agreement written and signed prior to getting married. Prenuptial agreements offer people a way to get around state laws regarding the distribution of property in the event of a divorce or death. Prenuptial agreements can stipulate any number of things. Some of the things that can be included are what happens to any assets should the marriage end in divorce, what happens to assets in the event of a divorce due to infidelity, what happens to assets each party had prior to the marriage in case of a divorce and how assets should be distributed if one partner dies and there are children from a prior relationship that need to be taken care. Many more things can be specified in the agreement depending on the needs of each partner.

Prenups are only an issue if the marriage ends. Prenuptial agreements cannot be used during the marriage to stipulate what happens during the marriage. A lot of people think that you should never think about the end of the marriage. The reality is that if your marriage ends and you have never thought about it, you are going to wish you did. Prenups are like seat belts and air bags. You may never be in accident that causes you to need a seat belt or an air bag, however, if you are ever in such an accident and you don't have that seat belt or air bag......Need I say more?

Why Would You Need A Prenuptial Agreement

Asking why you would need a prenuptial agreement is a valid question. I'm going to give you several reasons why you may need an agreement.

If you had a home or property prior to the marriage, you might lose your home in a divorce. A prenuptial agreement can help to protect assets you acquired before the marriage.
If you have children that aren't from your new wife or husband, a prenuptial agreement can ensure that any assets you have go directly to them instead of to your spouse. It can also ensure that particular assets you have go to the people you designate instead of your spouse if you get a divorce. Actually, you would retain ownership of the items in a divorce. Without a prenup, it is possible that those assets will go to your ex.
If your spouse has debt prior to the marriage, you could end up paying that debt off in the event of a divorce. Also, if your spouse has IRS tax debts, the IRS has been known to come after the other spouse even after a divorce. By having a prenuptial agreement covering such things, you will have a legal leg to stand on to get that money back should the IRS or some other agency come after you.
You could end up supporting your spouse even if you were married for a short time if you don't have a prenuptial agreement. “Accustomed to” is a term you will become accustomed to if you don't take precautions. If you have provided a financial upgrade for your spouse and you have no prenuptial agreement, you may be providing that upgrade for them after a divorce. Alimony and lump sum payments can take a significant chunk of your money if you don't protect your assets.
If you had a business prior to getting into the marriage, you may lose half of that business when you get divorced if you don't have a prenuptial agreement. Putting together a prenuptial agreement that releases your partners claim to your business should you get a divorce can help to protect what you have built.
You can prevent a lot of fighting during a divorce by having a prenuptial agreement that already spells out what will happen to your property. This means that you won't spend time in court arguing over the toaster, the sofa or a house. You cannot imagine how nasty people become during a divorce over the smallest things. You would never have imagined how much your husband or wife cared about those plastic hangers until you get into a divorce proceeding. A prenup that spells out the division of assets prior to a divorce eliminates fights over things like this.
Your financial details can be kept private in your divorce proceeding if you have a prenuptial agreement in place. If you don't have an agreement in place, your financial details may become a matter of public record for all to see.
Your pension can go bye-bye if you don't have a prenuptial agreement. Let's say that you have worked for 30 years at a job and you have been married for 10 years. How does giving up half of your retirement money sound? That is exactly what can happen if you don't have a prenuptial agreement. If you don't believe me, spend some time investigating divorce cases. You can do a query on Google and read some divorce petitions online. People often ask for their spouses retirement money – even if their spouse is years away from retirement! It isn't rare at all. Would you feel happy to give away half of your pension just because you want a divorce?
How does giving away half of your savings sound? If that doesn't sound good to you, a prenuptial agreement can provide protection for you. Without a prenuptial agreement, your savings – even those accumulated prior to the marriage – may be fair game.
What mood will the divorce judge be in when you go before him or her? People don't realize how much power a judge has until they are standing before one. Judges are often given wide latitude and discretion as they handle divorce cases. Judges are great and typically they offer fair and impartial judgments. There are, however, times when judges make mistakes. Do you really want to trust your assets to someone that may or may not be in a good mood or someone that may be fed up with hearing cases like yours? Judges are human beings too and they make mistakes just like everyone else. Just think about how many people have been innocently convicted. Courts make mistakes sometimes. Do you want to take the chance that they will make a mistake with your assets?

Divorce is a hard thing to think about when you are about to get married. It can seem unromantic. It can make you feel like you are working against the marriage. It can make you feel like you are looking at the end of the marriage instead of focusing on creating a great marriage. This isn't the case. Health insurance, wills, seat belts, air bags, medical directives and prenuptial agreements are never an issue until you need them. You may never need a prenuptial agreement, however, if you need one and don't have one you may end up paying more than you could have ever imagined. Love isn't all you need to think about when you are about to get married. Be practical and draw up a prenuptial agreement to protect the both of you. Prenuptial agreements can also be modified later on during the marriage as your financial situation changes. Don't make the mistake of thinking that prenuptial agreements are just for rich people. Losing your $250,000 home may mean a lot more to you if you are making $60,000 than it would to someone with millions of dollars.

Understand this about prenuptial agreements if you don't understand anything else. Not having a prenuptial agreement is not going to stop you from getting a divorce if that's where your relationship ends up. The difference between having a prenup and not having one is simple. If you don't have a prenuptial agreement, the divorce court will decide what happens to your stuff and, if you do have a prenuptial agreement, you and the person you are with will decide what happens to your stuff. Which method sounds better to you?

Here is an example of a prenuptial agreement.

If you are looking for a prenuptial agreement particular to your state, click here.

Written By Kila Morton

11 Steps To Take To Learn How To Be A Good Listener

The Dating Tips Magazine — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Your ability to listen to the person you are with is extremely important to the quality of your relationship and being a good listener can make or break a relationship. If you aren't willing and able to listen and understand what the person you are dating is saying, your relationship is doomed. Period! If you aren't a person that is accustomed to listening to the person you are dating or you just aren't good at listening, there is good news for you. Listening is a skill that can be acquired if you are willing to put in a little effort to make it happen. Here are ten steps you can take to become a good listener.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 1 -
Don't listen with the intention of contradicting everything the person talking to you says.
If your mouth is in a constant state of “open”, that means you aren't listening – you are talking. If you don;t agree with something someone is saying, make a note of it – either on paper or in your mind – and come back to it AFTER the person has finished talking. Constantly contradicting things someone says is a great way to make people not want to talk to you.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 2 -
Don't constantly correct the speech of the person you are dating while they are talking.
You may be better at speaking than the person who is speaking to you, however, you are being disrespectful if you keep correcting them while they are trying to express themselves. If you absolutely cannot understand what they are saying, then asking them to repeat a part is OK, however, don't even do that constantly. Give the person a chance to get their feelings out. Sometimes when some people are really upset about something, they can't quite put all of the words together correctly. If you can understand most of what they are saying, just let them work through it. Cutting them off is not productive, will frustrate them and will make them not want to talk to you. Remember that you are not their parent.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 3 -
Don't discount everything they say just because you don't agree with their view of things.
If a person tells you something that you don't like, your immediate tendency may be to ignore it if you don't agree with it. Don't do this. Part of being a good listener as well as a good dating partner is understanding that you are not always going to see eye to eye. Just because you don't feel the way the person talking to you feels doesn't mean that their feelings are any less valid than yours. You want them to pay attention to things you are feeling don't you? Make sure you extend that same courtesy. When the person finishes speaking, you can say something like - “I understand what you are saying. You made some very valid points. I will think about what you have said.” When you say that – mean it!

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 4 -
Don't try to write down EVERYTHING the person says.
You may feel like it would be good to write down everything the person you are dating says so you can go over it later. This is a mistake. Often, the more we write the less we understand exactly what is being said to us. This is because our natural tendency is to listen to the words so we can record them – NOT so we can actually understand them. If you need to go over the words later, record them with a camcorder or digital camera with recording features. You can also use your cell phone or some other device. Instead of focusing on writing the words down, focus on understanding what the person talking to you is trying to say.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 5 -
Don't allow yourself to be distracted while the person is speaking.
Pay attention. You may have a million things to do. You may be feeling like you don't want to hear what the person has to say. You may feel like listening to them is a waste of your time. If you care about the person who is talking to you, make it a point to care about paying attention to them. Filter out your distractions and focus on what they have to say. If you really care about what is being said to you, then you need to make sure the person speaking to you has your undivided attention. Give them the same courtesy you want them to give you.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 6 -
Don't narrow your focus while the person is talking to one or two points.
Listen to everything the person has to say. A lot of time we listen to people we care about trying to hear what they really are saying. We pick out a few points and concentrate on those. Don't do this. Instead, focus on the entire message you are given. Don't filter out parts and pieces to get to the point you believe they are trying to make. Listen to everything they are trying to say.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 7 -
Don't tune out if you don't agree with what the person you are saying.
If you are in a situation where you are being asked to hear something you don't agree with, your tendency may be to tune out what is being said while you look impassively at the other person speaking. Would you want someone to invalidate what you are saying this way? When you do this, you are not only being disrespectful, you are being selfish. When you want to be heard, yet don't want to hear anyone else, you are not respecting the needs of the other person in your relationship. Treat the person you are with the way you want to be treated. This means that if you want them to listen even if they don't agree, you need to do the same thing.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 8 -
Try to understand why the person you are dating is saying what they are saying.
When you listen to someone and you are focused on getting the entire message, make sure that you also focus on why they are saying what they are saying. You may think that the why is not important, however, it really is. If the person is telling you something because they are at the end of their rope with you, you need to understand how serious their conversation with you really is. Often, understanding why they are saying what they are saying will help you focus more intently on what is being said. Sometimes the person will tell you and sometimes you have to be smart enough to figure it out.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 9 -
Recognize how your personal prejudice may be influencing your ability and desire to listen.
It's absolutely amazing how we learn to be prejudiced against certain things for no real reason throughout our lives. We dislike foods we've never tried. We dislike people for no good reason other than their looks. We decide we don't want to go to places without ever having been to the place in the first place. We become prejudiced against so many things for absolutely no good reason. This really effects our ability to listen to people. When we are prejudiced against something that someone else starts talking to us about, often our response is immediately negative. This, however, is the perfect way to leave the person we are dating with the feeling that what they say does not matter to us. The bottom line is that you must open your ears and your heart if you want your relationship to work. If someone is talking to you about something that you have a prejudice against, don't shut them out. Make an honest effort to still listen to the person you are with and make an effort to see things from their point of view. If you can't, you may end up wishing you did as they leave you for someone who doesn't have the hang ups you have. If your feelings are effecting your relationship, you may also want to consider getting help to overcome your feelings of prejudice.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 10 -
Recognize that your nonverbal messages are just as important as what you say.
If you are listening intently yet your eyes are rolling around in your head and you are sighing at every statement the person you are with is making, your nonverbal communication is telling them that you aren't interested in what you have to say. Is this the message that you want to communicate to someone you care about? If you care at all about them, you wouldn't want to send them the message that what they are saying is unimportant. Remember that you want them to respect you when you are speaking to them and you want them to have body language that shows that they are listening. You need to make sure that you offer the same courtesy to them. Relationships are all about give and take. Let your body language show that you are as involved in the conversation as they are.

How To Be A Good Listener Dating Tip 11 -
If you are in a position of power in your job, don't bring your workplace authority into your relationship.
If you are in a position of power at work, you may be a slight ego maniac. If you bring this attitude into your relationship you are asking for trouble. Sometimes people in positions of power at work, try to control their relationships outside of work. If this is how you are, you may inadvertently be controlling conversations with the person you are in a relationship with. This is a recipe for disaster. Often, people who deal with you may begin to shut down and become passive aggressive in their dealings with you. When this happens, they may begin to contemplate leaving the relationship without communicating with you about their true feelings. They just hold things inside. Then when they explode on you, you often don't know where all of their anger is coming from. They held it in until they couldn't any longer because of your controlling ways. When your mate is talking to you, don't treat them like they are one of your employees. Listen to them and try to understand what they are feeling and what they are saying so that you don't end up pushing them away.

Developing great listening skills is important if you want to make your relationship work. It may be hard for you if you aren't accustomed to listening to others, but the payoff in learning how to listen is huge. Start today! Let the person you are with know that what they have to say matters to you.

Written By Kila Morton

7 Reasons Why You May Be Hesitant To Get A Divorce

The Dating Tips Magazine — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Everyday millions of people all around the world decide to get divorced. The reasons are as varied as the people themselves. However, even after deciding that they may want a divorce, there are some people who are very reluctant to actually follow through with it. When this happens, the reluctance may leave the other spouse feeling like the spouse that is hesitant still wants to work on the marriage. If someone is hesitant about asking for or getting a divorce, it does not mean that they are still in love with their husband or wife. There are a number of reasons that people are hesitant to take the step to actual start divorce proceedings - even when they are living separate lives.

Money
It cost money to get divorced. Sometimes the person who wants the divorce may not have the financial means to see the process through. They may also be in a situation where they know that they will be required to pay something if they get divorced. If they know this and they don't have any money, they may stay married instead of actually getting the divorce even though they are living separately.

Taxes & Business
If you have a large amount of money tied up with your spouse, then the prospect of dividing all of it and getting all of your business and tax issues taken care off can sometimes make a person stay in the marriage. Even if they are living separate lives, it is often less painful to just stay married than it is to go through the entire process of splitting everything up.

Children
Many parents stay married because it 'looks' better for their children if they are still legally married even though they are living separate lives.

Appearances
For high powered couples, the social prospect of being classified as divorced is a stigma that neither may want to have. Instead, they stay together in name only and do whatever they want to do privately. It happens all of the time.

Love
The person could be hesitant because they still love their spouse. Even though some people do things to destroy their marriages (like being unfaithful), it doesn't mean that they don't care for and still love their spouse. Screwed up people do screwed up things even if they love the person they are screwing over.

Fear
Getting divorced adds a note of finality to everything. It is like putting the final nail in the coffin and covering it over with dirt. This is a hard thing to take for a lot of people, even if they have been doing their own thing for some time. It's like you know that you can't turn back after you do it. This is very scary for a lot of people and some will work hard to avoid it.

Laziness
Some people are just too lazy to go file the paperwork to start the process. Instead, they just decide to move on mentally and let the marriage stay the way it is.

There are a number of reasons for a person not following through with a divorce, however, if you are going to be moving on with someone else, rarely is staying married a good idea. First, if something happens to you medically your spouse is the one that will have the final say in your medical care. Would you really want someone that you may have left to be the one who decides if the plug gets pulled? In addition to that, your spouse would also be the one, by default, to receive any financial benefits, if there are any, in the event of your death. Also, if you have more money, the longer you stay married, the more likely you are to have to provide support for your spouse if they ask for it. You might say that you were separated and your spouse may say that you just abandoned them and they were trying to put the marriage back together. You may end up paying even though this wasn't the case just because of the amount of time you were married. Sorting through these issues is important. Just know that if you are married and you aren't ready to say goodbye, you don't have to. If you are ready, then don't be afraid to do what you have to do.

Written By Kila Morton

Ask K Questions And Answers - We believe different...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What happens when two people who believe different things start dating?

	I've been dating someone for a few months that I thought was the ONE. I thought that right up until we got into a discussion about religion a week ago. It turns out that we have completely different views on religion. I asked her to come to church with me and she told me she was an atheist. We have been having so much fun and enjoying each other so much that we never really talked about religion. I am a Christian. I love God. What should I do? Should I just break up with her now? I'm so confused about what to do. The Bible talks about connecting with someone who is not of the same faith. The woman I am dating is just so wonderful. What should I do? - Christian Confused in MN

	If you are a Christian and you believe that the Bible says that you should not connect with someone who is not of the same faith, then your path is clear to you. I'm not telling you that you should leave. I'm telling you that if you feel so strongly that you can't be with someone that doesn't think the way you think, then you know what you have to do. Maybe you will find someone you like as much as your girlfriend that thinks the same way you do and maybe you won't. Are you willing to take the chance? Does it mean that much to you? If it were me, before I did anything else I would sit down with the woman you are dating and talk with her about her values, beliefs, feelings about children, finances and so on. What you just discovered is that you don't know her as well as you thought you did. That's not a crime, but, investing in finding out about her is a worthwhile effort. Try it and then decide what you feel. Right now you really don't know anything about her other than the fact that she is an atheist. If that is enough for you to end the relationship, then you don't have any questions to ask. Somehow I don't think it is. Every Christian marriage doesn't work out nor does every marriage between people who don't believe the same things. You take a risk either way.

View Past Ask K Questions & Answers Have A Question? Submit It Here

Natural Penis Enhancement That Is Guaranteed To Help You Go A Long Way!

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 06:52:08 +0000

OK guys. This topic is just for you. Every single day men look for answers on ways to enhance their principal private part. Some men try surgical methods that end up leaving them with a loss of feeling. Others try creams to help enlarge or lengthen the penis and some men resort to drugs to help with penis size. Often these methods end up leaving you disappointed because you still don't get the penis size you want. What can you do if you have tried methods to enlarge your penis and they are not working? What can you do if you don't want to fill your body full of drugs that may or may not work just to add extra length to your penis? I'm so glad you asked these questions, because I have the answer you are looking for.

The answer to enlarging your penis is the Penis Advantage system. The Penis Advantage system offers you a natural way to add between 1 and 4 inches to your penis. The system offers you the following:

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The best thing about the system, other than helping you enlarge your penis naturally, is that the system offers you an 8 week 100% money-back guarantee! That means that if you aren't satisfied with your results, you can return the system and get your money back. That is an absolutely risk free system that makes it easy to enlarge your penis. You may have reservations about a penis enlargement system that does not use drugs, but if it works it works! Natural penis enlargement techniques have been around for a long time and they offer a much safer alternative to drugs.

You should not feel ashamed because you want to increase the size of your penis. Everyone wants to be the best that they can be. You shouldn't feel guilty because you feel this way too. Before you make the jump to drugs and creams or surgery, take some time and invest it in really learning about natural penis enlargement. Just like women, you have to be happy with who you are as a person before you can be happy in a relationship. Taking care of your personal issues will go a long way in helping you with that.

Click here to learn more about the penis advantage system, natural penis enlargement and how you can use it to add between 1 and 4 inches to your penis.

Written By Kila Morton

Spice Things Up In The Bedroom Ladies!

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:01:48 +0000

Let's face it. Over time women can become complacent in relationships. As you move through the various stages of a relationship, you can easily reach a point where you stop seeing the person you are with as sexy. In some cases you actually stop seeing yourself as sexy. You become so accustomed to the person you are with and the relationship that you no longer worry about dressing up or looking good. You stop trying to be appealing to your mate. The problem is that doing this can often suck the passion right out of a relationship. Instead of looking at the you as beautiful and sexy, the person you are with starts seeing you as routine and boring. So what can you do ladies if you have traded in your pre-relationship thongs for a nice big pair of white cotton panties that could double as a bed sheet? The answer is to spice things up. I'm not telling you to turn yourself into a porn star, but changing up your under garments a little and throwing on some lingerie isn't going to kill you. It doesn't matter if you are a beautiful plus size or a beautiful size 0, throwing on a little bit of lingerie and sprucing yourself up a bit can help your mate look at you the way they used to and help you see yourself the way you used to.

The place I'm going to suggest to you is called Henry & June Lingerie. They offer a great selection of pretty undergarments. There is a little something for everyone. If you feel self-conscious about buying lingerie, start off with something nice and easy like one of the many baby doll style night gowns they offer. That's a simple item and will certainly help to fan the midnight flames :-)! If you want something that is sexy yet basic, you can also purchase a pair of sexy pajamas. Click on Lingerie and then scroll down and click on 'Robes, Gowns, PJs'. They have a nice selection of beautiful items for you to choose from.

Here are two coupon codes you can use on the Henry & June site. Clicking on the link will also take you directly to the site.

Take $15 off any order of $100 or more at Henry & June Lingerie! Enter APRIL4LOVE. Expires 4/30/08. May not combine.

Take $6 off any order of $50 or more at Henry & June Lingerie! Enter NOFOOLIN. Expires 4/30/08. May not combine.

Making the decision to dress up for your mate isn't a bad thing. The thing you have to remember is that people are human and everybody wants something a little special from time to time. Don't let your inhibitions stop you from letting go every once in a while and doing something special for your mate and for yourself. Enjoy!

Written By Kila Morton

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Find 300 Creative Date Ideas And Places To Go On A Date!

The Dating Tips Magazine — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:18:34 +0000

Are you one of those people that has trouble coming up with places to go on a date? If you go on more than one date with the same person, taking them to the same place over and over can get pretty old very quickly. If you are looking for places to go on a first date, you need to find some place special. Finding unique and creative dates can really wear a person out. So what can you do if you don't have a clue about where to go on dates? I am going to tell you about something that will help you figure out what to do on a date, where to go on a date and when to go on a date. All of these things are going to help you take your dating experiences to another level and make the prospect of planning a date really, really fun!

When you are looking for places to go on a first date, a lot of people opt for the standard – dinner and a movie. Everybody thinks that dinner and a movie is so great. Do you know how long a movie lasts? How are you going to get to know someone if you are sitting and watching a movie for hours? Dinner is great. Everyone has to eat, but what are you going to talk about - how good the food is? These are what I call “passive” dates. They require no real effort and you glide through them without really thinking. They are unimaginative and boring. Why not spice things up. Instead of giving you a really long list of things to do and places to go, I'm going to direct you to a book that I think every dating person should own. This book is a godsend to anyone that wants to make their dates memorable.

How many places to go on a date can you think of? Well the book “300 Creative Dates” is going to provide you with hundreds of unique and inexpensive places to take your dates and ideas to make your dates special. I have seen this book and all of the places to take your dates & ideas listed in the book aren't going to be for everyone, but with 300 options available, I know you are going to be able to find some place to go on a date and some idea for a date that will be great for you and the person you are dating.

The second best thing about purchasing this book is that it offers a risk free money back guarantee. I love those, because I hate to feel like I'm stuck if I purchase something and it doesn't work for me. I'm assuming you think like I think. So you get great information on places to go on a date and places to take a date as well as the ability to try the book without risk.

Click here to find out more about “300 Great Dates” and purchase the book for yourself. You are going to love the date ideas you find and you are going to find great places to go on dates!

Written By Kila Morton

11 Ways To Guarantee A Bad Break Up

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Breaking up can often be a very hard thing to do. Not only do you have to deal with the emotions you feel about your ex and the breakup, you also have to start thinking about dating someone new. You are closing the door on one chapter of your life and moving on to another part. Sometimes it can be really difficult to come to terms with everything that happened in your last relationship. Also, if someone broke up with you, you are likely dealing with repairing your damaged ego. This can make a breakup more than difficult to handle. Unfortunately, as you work on moving down the road toward accepting the end of the relationship, there are certain things that you can do that will make the breakup far more difficult than it needs to be. This list shows you 11 things that can turn what might have been a friendly breakup into a war. If you see things on this list that you are doing, it's time for you to make a change in your behavior. It's time to let the relationship go and move on.

Dating Tip 1 - Continually Calling The Person You Just Broke Up With
If they wanted to talk to you, they wouldn't have broken up with you. Stop being insane. Don't call them unless there is something that you have to say which directly concerns them and is a pressing issue that has to be handled. For instance, if they have things at your place and you want to know what to do with those things you should call once. If they don't respond, you can send them a certified letter. If they don't respond to that, then throw the stuff away. Don't keep calling. It makes you look desperate and it just reinforces why they broke up with you in their minds. Often people are on the fence right after they break up with someone. They are wondering if they did the right thing. Crazy behavior from you helps them realize that they did do the right thing.

Dating Tip 2 - Continually Texting/Emailing The Person You Just Broke Up with
The Internet and text messaging have opened up countless opportunities for us to continually stay connected to those we love or like. However, when someone breaks up with us it's often hard to resist sending them little messages in the hopes that they will respond and help give us closure. Don't do it! It's not worth it for a few reasons. First, stalking and harassing people can lead to criminal prosecution. It is a crime. Texting and emailing provides a paper trail right back to you. Remember that text messages are stored. If the person you are texting decides to have you prosecuted for harassment, text messages can be tracked right back to you. Emails have a point of origin and an endpoint. That origin can often be tracked right back to you too. Don't go down this road. The second thing you need to remember is that the person just doesn't want to hear from you. They are done with wanting to hear what you have to say. If you have a good friend, tell them that you are going to text and email them every time you feel like emailing or texting the person you were dating. This will allow you to unload without being prosecuted. Just make sure that you pick a friend that you can trust to send the messages to.

Dating Tip 3 - Contacting & Involving Your Ex's Family
For some reason there are a lot of people out there who think that telling the family of someone they were dating about the breakup will cause that person to come back. This often has the absolute opposite effect. It doesn't matter what his or her family says to you, they are still the family of your ex. You look like an absolute fool when you do this. Often the family members you contact will talk to you to calm you down and then talk about you afterward. They are not on your side and they are not your friends. If you need to talk to someone in a family, talk to your own. Leave your ex alone and leave their family alone. Not only does this make you look crazy, it also leaves a lot of witnesses around should your ex decide to go to authorities and say that you are stalking them and harassing them. If you need to call someone, call your own friends and family. That's your best bet.

Dating Tip 4 - Constantly Contacting Your Ex To Get Back Every Gift You've Purchased For Them
Grow up! If you gave a gift to someone, it belongs to them. There is nothing you can do. Don't be immature and childish. Move on with your life.

Dating Tip 5 - Telling People At Your Ex's Job About What Happened In Your Relationship
Trying to spread bad blood at your ex's job is very immature. This is harassment. Often when we hurt we want to make others hurt. You have to get past this. Personal issues should not be bought into the workplace. You have to be mature to understand this. If you work with your ex and people ask you what happened, tell them that this isn't really the place to discuss it. Leave it at that. Don't show immaturity by telling people at the person's job what happened just because you are hurt. Deal with your hurt in another way.

Dating Tip 6 - Refusing To Pay For Final Expenses For Bills You Made With Or For Your Ex
Just because your relationship ended doesn't mean that you don't have to pay for some things you were supposed to pay for. If you were living together and there are bills that you were supposed to pay for, just pay them! Take care all of that business and move on. If you left an apartment you shared and there are payments outstanding, then make arrangements to pay off that debt. Don't be a jerk and leave your ex with bills that you agreed to pay or were paying. You may find yourself in small claims court if you don't pay.

Dating Tip 7 - Flaunting Your New Love Interest Around Your Ex If You Just Broke Up
Doing this shows that there is a level of sensitivity missing inside of you. If you just broke up with someone, think about their feelings at least a little. Don't try to rub the fact that you have moved on in their face. It is unnecessary and childish. If you have moved on, then go and leave your ex in peace.

Dating Tip 8 - Not Telling Your Ex You Are Breaking Up With Them And Just Leaving Them Instead
This is a very cowardly move unless your ex is violent. If they are, then moving on without communicating is probably the best thing. If they aren't violent, then you need to own up to the fact that you are leaving and say why you are leaving. Be honest and communicate your intent to end the relationship. If you were woman or man enough to get into the relationship, then be woman or man enough to communicate your desire to end it.

Dating Tip 9 - Draining Joint Bank Accounts You Had With Your Ex
This is a great way to start problems with your ex. You are going to end up in court and you are going to have to return the money that your ex can clearly show is their money. Don't be immature. Leave your ex with the money that belongs to them and take only your money. You should sit down with your ex and come to an agreement before you take anything. If your ex won't talk to you, then take what you know to be yours and move on.

Dating Tip 10 - Following Your Ex
This is something stalkers do. If you are doing this, then you can officially classify yourself as a stalker. It is illegal and it's just plain wrong. Do you mean to tell me that you don't have anything else better to do than to follow your ex around? Come on! You are better than that. If you feel the need to follow your ex, just know that you are asking for trouble. You may be feeling like you are losing control and out of control. Talk to someone and get your frustrations off your chest. If you don't talk to someone about your issues, you may end up in jail. Face your problems, talk to someone and leave your ex alone.

Dating Tip 11 - Trying To Stop Your Ex's New Love Interest From Hanging Around Places You Both Go
Your issue is not with your ex's new love interest. It is with your ex. The person your ex is now dating has nothing to do with you directly. They are in your ex's life because your ex wants them there. Since this is true, you have no reason to try to prevent that person from being around. This means that you should leave them alone if you see them at a party, or at the gym or at a restaurant that you used to go to with your ex. Your relationship, as painful to face as it may be, is history. Move on and let it go. Your ex's new love interest doesn't deserve one second of anger from you. Your ex is the one that moved on. Let it go.

When it's over, it's over. Pack up your mind and move on. You can't move forward if you are hung up on the past. Trying to hold on to the past may result in you visiting a jail cell, being hated by the person you were dating and still not getting back with the person that broke up with you. Most importantly, it leaves you feeling empty and miserable inside. When it's time to end things, be mature enough to say goodbye without going crazy. In the long run you will be happy that you have moved on. Let go and look forward!

Written By Kila Morton

Ask K Questions And Answers - My sister's boyfriend...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What should I do when I'm attracted to my sister's boyfriend?

	My sister is dating a fantastic guy. He is kind, supportive, attractive and attentive. They seem to be really in love. The truth is that I'm not really happy for her. I think I am in love with her boyfriend. He hasn't made any moves on me, but, I recently moved in with the two of them while I wait to close on a house. I accidentally saw him naked and I have been fantasizing about him ever since. What should I do? My sister and I have been marginally close because I wasn't living near her. Should I tell him how I feel? Should I pursue the relationship? - Wanting My Sister's Man in FL

	Are you insane? If the guy your sister is dating is really a good guy and you clearly stated that he hasn't made any moves on you, then he isn't likely to go for a relationship with you. I have always wondered why some women go for the guy of someone they know. There are so many other men in the world. Leave your sister's man alone. Why start trouble for no reason? There is no reason to go down that path. Find a man that wants you and that isn't dating one of your relatives or friends. Being your sister should count for something. Control yourself and let it go. I hope that seeing him naked was really an accident, but, no matter what you saw, you need to know that it belongs to someone else. Exercise restraint or you are asking for trouble.

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11 Ways To Help When Dating A Recovering Alcoholic

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

When an alcoholic person decides to stop drinking for good, they begin a never ending battle to stay away from alcohol. When you are dating a person like this and you are not a recovering alcoholic, it may be difficult for you to understand how sensitive the person you are dating is to seeing and being around alcohol. If you are dating someone with this issue, there are a number of things that you can do to make things better for them. With some effort and the desire to truly help the person you are dating, you can create an environment that is both supportive and less tempting for them. Going that extra mile for them can make all the difference because alcoholics often see temptation all around. Here are some tips you can follow to help you with your mission to help them.

Dating Tip 1 - Remove Any Visible Alcohol From Your Home
Go through your home and remove any visible alcohol. You can place it in a closet, in a garage or throw it away. If the person you are dating was really in bad shape with alcohol, make sure you also remove your mouthwash. It contains alcohol too. This will help to remove immediate temptation while the person you are dating is in your home. This small modification can go a long way in terms of supporting their sobriety.

Dating Tip 2 - Avoid Having Dates At Bars
Don't take a recovering alcoholic to a bar. It is too much pressure and too much temptation for them - even if they tell you something different. Play it safe. There are tons of places other than bars to go. Pick one.

Dating Tip 3 - When Going To A Restaurant, Call Ahead And Talk To The Manager And Tell Them That You Don't Want Alcohol Bought Over To The Table Or Offered As A Suggestion By The Wait Staff
This is something that a lot of people overlook. When you go to certain restaurants, they will make suggestions about the best alcohol to drink with your meal. Some restaurants will bring the alcohol over to your table and offer a sample. This may be too much for someone who is fighting alcoholism. Call ahead to make sure that the restaurant does not do this. It may seem like a small thing, but to an alcoholic it is a big thing.

Dating Tip 4 - If Your Date Has An Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor, Make Sure You Know How To Reach Them
You are part of a support system for the person you are dating. Each part of the system needs to be connected. That means that you need to make sure that you can reach your date's sponsor and that your date's sponsor can reach you. In the case of an emergency with the person you are dating, you may need all of the help you can get for them.

Dating Tip 5 - Never Bring Up Your Dates Alcoholism In An Attempt To Hurt Them During An Argument
Sometimes we say hurtful things during arguments. You have to guard against saying things about your date's inability to control themselves with alcohol during arguments just for the sake of hurting them. This is destructive behavior and does more harm than good. People battling alcohol typically feel a tremendous amount of guilt for the things they have done while being under the influence. You place undue pressure on them when you attack them because of this. They are recovering and they need to be reminded that their sobriety efforts are not in vain. If you absolutely must say something hurtful, pick something else to talk about.

Dating Tip 6 - Make Sure That Your Family Members Understand The Special Needs Of The Person You Are Dating So They Don't Offer Alcohol To Your Date During Family Events
Telling your family about the problems your date is having with alcohol can possibly provide another layer of support for them while at family functions. Sometimes the family will be willing to eliminate the alcohol all together. Sometimes they won't be willing to do this. The important thing is that they understand what you are trying to do and that they don't make efforts to sabotage your date's sobriety. If they are unwilling to alter their behavior, don't take the person you are dating around them.

Dating Tip 7 - Encourage & Support Them If You See Them Starting To Get Weak
Alcoholics will often falter in their quest to stay sober. Provide them with positive support and reassure them when they start having problems. We all need a little bit of positive feedback sometimes. Alcoholics are no different.

Dating Tip 8 - Never Agree With Them If They Try To Tell You That They Can Have Just One Drink And Things Will Be OK
Alcoholics often cannot control their drinking. One drink can launch them into an abusive lapse in their sobriety. Do everything you can to let them know that you know that one drink is not an option for them. Never agree to be an enabler for them if you really want to help them.

Dating Tip 9 - Work To Eliminate The Stress In Your Relationship That Typically Leads To Them Drinking
When you are dating someone, you often end up with the ability to figure out the things that will get under their skin. It is important that you work to eliminate that stress so that you don't end up contributing to the stress your date feels which might lead them to drink. This may be hard, but it's one of the best ways to help the person you are dating.

Dating Tip 10 - Keep A Set Of Keys To Their Car When You Are Out With Them
If something happens while you are out with them and they end up drinking after they have driven the two of you wherever, having a set of keys to their car will help you get them home safely and protect you from being in the passenger seat while an inebriated person is driving. Don't trust their ability to drive if they have been drinking. If they try to leave without you in their car, call the police. It's better to have them cool off for a night in jail than to have them kill someone while driving under the influence of alcohol.

Dating Tip 11 - Never Discourage Them From Going To Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings Or The Meetings Of Any Other Group They Use For Support
When we are dating someone, we often want to monopolize their time. When they have free time, we want that time to be spent with us. The problem is that people who are recovering often need a great deal of support. Don't make them feel guilty when they need to go to their meetings. You can't stop them from getting the help they truly need if you really want to help them stay sober. Don't complain about them spending too much time in their meetings. Don't try to stop them from going and don't try to make them feel guilty for needing as much help as they may need. They are in recovery.

Dating a recovering alcoholic is an exercise in patience. There is no question that you may have to alter some of your habits in order to provide a safe environment for the person you are dating. However, your support and care may be exactly what they need to stay on the right track. For more information on providing assistance to alcoholics, click here.

Written By Kila Morton

11 Rules For Being Friends After You Break Up

The Dating Tips Magazine — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Breaking up can be really hard to do. Not only are you saying goodbye to someone you once cared about, you are diving back into the unknown world of looking for a new love interest. If the breakup was not amicable, it's likely that you have a lot of unresolved feelings about the entire situation. You may be angry and bitter about the breakup. You may be having a hard time coming to terms with what happened as well. But, there are relationships that don't end on a sour note. If you are facing a situation where the relationship is ending and neither of you is angry with the other, being friends may be an option for you. If the opportunity to be friends with someone you just broke up with is appealing to you, there are a few key rules to follow to make sure your new "friendly" relationship works without preventing you from moving on with your life.

Dating Tip 1 - Don't Continue To Have Sex With Your Ex
This is perhaps the biggest breakup no-no. You are trying to be friends, which is already difficult enough. Trying to breakup and have sex is a recipe for craziness. One or both of you is going to start acting possessive of the other. It is not going to be easy for either of you. If one of you wanted the breakup and the other didn't, there is going to be even more of a problem because someone is going to have feelings for the other. Make your breakup simple. If you are not together, don't use sex as a way of staying connected to your ex. That connection has the potential to turn one of you into a stalker. It may have been good when you were together and it may be good if you are just friends, but why give something so special to someone that you aren't going to be with? Let the past melt into the past. Don't have sex with someone you just broke up with.

Dating Tip 2 - Don't Talk To The Person Everyday
Talking to your ex everyday is like being an alcoholic and going to a bar everyday. It is a crutch and you need to come to terms with the fact that it is a crutch. Cell phones, email, text messages, instant messages and face to face meetings are all methods of communication that should be severely limited with your ex. You need to curtail your communication as much as possible. You are no longer together right? Talking to the person everyday doesn't allow you to get over it and move on.

Dating Tip 3 - Don't Continually Try To Be Around Them
Let's face it. It is nearly impossible to get over someone if you are continually around them. You can't heal and that leaves you in a state of limbo. You start feeling like you are still together. You aren't. Don't get caught up in trying to maintain the relationship under the guise of being a friend. This will only lead to heartache. If you are really not together, act like it. If you don't, you will never be able to move on.

Dating Tip 4 - Don't Talk About New People You Are Dating
When you have really cared about someone for a while, it's so hard to see them dating someone new. It makes you feel like you are missing out on something - even if the relationship was bad. It may also make you feel jealous when your ex does something for their new love that they didn't do for you. Discussing the new people in your lives is not a good idea. It makes for a dishonest friendship because you have to constantly hide your unhappiness with their new relationship. Is that your idea of happiness? Instead of asking questions about their new love that you don't really need to know, you both need to make the decision to not discuss your new loves.

Dating Tip 5 - Don't Rehash All Of The Negative Issues You Had In Your Relationship
Depending on the circumstances surrounding the breakup, you may or may not have felt closure about the end of the relationship. Becoming friends may provide you with some ability to stay in contact with your ex so that you can talk about the negative issues you had in your relationship. This is a bad idea. If it is over, it is over. Don't bring up those bad feelings again and try to make your ex talk about all of the reasons why they did the negative things they did. It's over. Don't bring up all of the negative things that happened unless you just need closure and don't want to be friends.

Dating Tip 6 - Don't Talk About Getting Back Together Or What Could Have Been If You Stayed Together
When you talk to someone as a friend after you break up, it's easy to fall back into talking about the reasons why you broke up. You start forgetting the reasons that your relationship was unbearable and start to wonder if there could be a future for the two of you. Things that were big start to seem small and you start feeling like you could be together again. Don't get yourself into conversations where you start thinking about what could have been and what could be between the two of you. It's over. There may have been positive things about your relationship, but there were obviously a lot of negative things. Don't let your new friendship pull you back into a relationship if that's not what is best for the both of you.

Dating Tip 7 - Don't Place Demands On Your Ex As If You Are Dating
That layer of friendship that you've placed over your relationship may give you the mistaken idea that it's OK to ask for the same type of consideration you had when you were together. This isn't the case. You are not together and trying to demand that your ex treat you as if you are together is a recipe for disaster. Don't expect them to treat you with the same level of consideration. You are not dating this person anymore! If you want to maintain a friendship with them, don't expect them to be anything more than a casual friend to you and don't try to place demands on their time.

Dating Tip 8 - Don't Continually Call Your Ex As If You Are Still Together
It can be hard to accept that you are no longer dating if you are still friendly with each other. Constantly calling your ex and expecting them to respond is a sure way to turn your new friendship into a war zone. You aren't together anymore! You need to respect that and act like it. It doesn't make you a bad person if you still have feelings and want to be together, but it does make you a stalker if you don't respect the fact that they don't want to be with you by continually calling them.

Dating Tip 9 - Don't Do Double Dates
For some reason, there are those among us that think that they have become such good "friends" with their ex that they can go out on a double date with them. This is generally a very bad idea. Somewhere deep inside of one of you there are bound to be a few lingering feelings of jealousy. Although this may be something that can be controlled, it often can't be. Instead, the person with the negative feelings may make small negative comments or behave in a negative manner. Although you may be friendly, it's just best to keep your dating lives separate. It makes for less drama and far fewer complications.

Dating Tip 10 - Don't Bad-Mouth The New Person They Are Dating
Often one of the hardest things to accept with an ex is that they are going to be moving on with someone new. You may feel upset about the fact that they do things with their new love that they did with you. You may even begin to resent and "hate" the person they are seeing for no other reason than that they are dating someone you used to be with. Get over it. Do go around saying bad things about your ex's new love - either to your ex or to your mutual friends. It makes you look jealous, which you probably are, and bitter. That new person isn't the reason you broke up, even if your ex was seeing them before you broke up. The reason you broke up is because you and your ex made choices that led to the breakup. Don't take your anger and frustration out on their new love.

Dating Tip 11 - If You Are Unable To Be Friends With Your Ex, Be Honest About That With Them
Sometimes we try to force ourselves into a friendship relationship with someone we cared about because we don't want to let the person go. This is a mistake. You have to be honest and true to yourself. If you can't handle seeing your ex in the capacity of a friend, then don't put yourself through it. You are only going to prolong the agony you feel about the relationship ending. Instead, communicate with your ex openly and tell them you are not comfortable being just a friend.

Being friends with someone you used to care about requires a lot of effort and consideration. It isn't an easy thing to do and it isn't something everyone can do. The key to maintaining your own sanity is to be honest with yourself and the person you used to date. If you can't be honest with yourself about your true feelings, you will never be able to maintain a good friendship with your ex. Don't stress yourself out over something that is already over. There are far more important things you could do with your time.

Written By Kila Morton

Make Yourself Dateable: Letting Go Of Bitterness

The Dating Tips Magazine — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Bitterness is a very hard emotion to keep in your heart. It permeates every part of your being and can turn a once happy person into a miserable and hateful individual. Bitterness is really an inability to let go of a situation. Bitterness can take over your life and affect every dating relationship, every business relationship and every familial relationship you may have because rarely can a bitter person stop themselves from displaying their unhappiness with life. If this sounds like you, then you have to give up your bitterness before it consumes you. If it has already wreaked havoc on your life, you need to make the choice to turn things around. Here are a few ways to do that.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Bitterness Step 1
The first step to getting over bitterness is to identify what you are bitter about. Sometimes people become so consumed with bitterness that they don't even remember what initially caused the bitterness. Sit down and take some time to think about the reason or reasons that you are currently bitter.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Bitterness Step 2
After you work through why you became bitter, you have to come to terms with the reality about the issue. People who are bitter about things typically have a problem forgiving and a problem letting things go. You have to come to the point where you accept that the situation that initially caused you to become bitter may never be resolved in a manner that's satisfactorily for you. Coming to this understanding is the first step in allowing yourself to let it go. There may be a lot of factors in your life that you may feel warrant being bitter. The truth is that there is nothing worth destroying your heart and mind. You have to just stop and make a choice between being happy or being bitter. There is not room in your heart for both. Which one provides you with peace? Which one provides you with comfort? Which one is going to allow you to live your best life? The choice is yours.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Bitterness Step 3
After you come to terms with the issue and accept that you have to let it go, your next step is to actually let it go. Whenever you mind starts to dwell on the issue, change your thoughts. Whenever you start feeling overwhelmed and miserable, change your thoughts to something pleasant. Remember, you are in control of your mind. Years of bitterness may have stripped away your ability to think clearly all the time, but, you still have the power.

Coming to terms with the reasons for your bitterness can allow you to live a far happier life than you have ever known. Peace, love and joy are waiting for you. If you are in a dating relationship, it's essential that you involve your dating partner in your quest to conquer your bitterness. It's a step by step process, but, investing in you is worth it. Conquer your bitterness to make the most of your life. When you do, you will also make the most of your love.

Written By Kila Morton

7 Ways To Handle Arguments With Someone You Are Dating Gracefully

The Dating Tips Magazine — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Arguing with someone you are dating is never fun. Even though we don't want to argue with people we care about, arguments are nonetheless a part of most relationships. The key to a good relationship is not pledging to never argue with each other. Instead, the key is to know how to argue and how to end an argument gracefully without ripping your relationship apart. There are zones you shouldn't go into and things that should never come out of your mouth if you are concerned about preserving your relationship. So how can you make it through an argument gracefully without destroying your relationship? Here are 7 ways to do it.

Dating Tip 1 - Never Put The Relationship In Jeopardy Over An Argument Unless You Really Want It To Be Over
This means that things like "this relationship is over" and "I don't want to be with you anymore" should never come out of your mouth unless you really mean it. People like to feel secure. When you constantly say things that upset that security, you leave your partner on edge. When a person feels on edge, they can never be comfortable in a relationship with you. You have to make a pledge to not cause the security of the relationship to come into question unless you want it to be over. This allows you both to feel secure in the fact that this argument is something that you will overcome because you aren't trying to destroy the relationship.

Dating Tip 2 - During A Time When You Are Both Calm, Make The Decision That You Will Not Call Each Other Names
For some reason, a lot of people get so angry that they think that calling the person they are with out of their names is acceptable. It isn't. If you respect the person you are with, you need to make sure that you aren't disrespecting them just because you are upset. Being mad is not an excuse for calling someone out of their name. If you care about the person you are with, just don't do it.

Dating Tip 3 - Keep Your Arguments Private
This means two things. First, your arguments should be conducted in private. There is no reason for the whole world to know what is going on in your relationship. There is really no reason for the whole world to know what is going on in your arguments. Go to a private place and discuss what you need to discuss, but, don't argue in public. Second, what you argue about should be private. Don't talk with the world about the things you argue about. Many people make the mistake of spreading their relationship business to the world. What you talk about, argue about and discuss with your mate is your business. Keep it that way.

Dating Tip 4 - Never Bring Up Other People, Like An Ex, In Your Argument
You may think that you are hurting your current partner when you do this, the truth is that you are embarrassing yourself. If the relationship with your ex was so great, you would still be there. Obviously, unless there was a death, there was something that stopped you from being together. Don't act like your past relationship was so good unless you want to go back to that person. If you do, then stop arguing with the one you are with, go back to your ex and leave the person you are dating alone.

Dating Tip 5 - Don't Try To Demean The Person You Are Dating During The Argument
There are some people that have to win at all cost - including during the course of arguments with people they are dating. If you are like this or you are dating someone like this, a simple argument can turn into an all out slug fest. Don't let this happen. Recognize that you still care about this person and this person needs your love and understanding. Don't try to break them down to "win". The truth is that doing this only helps you lose.

Dating Tip 6 - Don't Involve Family Members Into Your Arguments
A lot of people call their family whenever they argue with the person they are dating. This is a mistake and here is why. Rarely are our little arguments earth shattering, yet, when we talk to our family members and constantly complain, we create an image in their minds. They start looking at our relationship as rocky and they start forming opinions about what we should do about the relationship. This is a natural response. If you heard a bunch of negative things about the person one of your family members is dating, wouldn't you think that the relationship should end? Of course you would. This is why you shouldn't involve your family members unless it is something major. If you and the person you are dating work through the argument, your family is still going to base their opinion on what you told them about your argument. Rarely do we communicate about the good times with the same passion as we do the bad times. Keep your family out of your relationship unless you want them to hate the person you are dating.

Dating Tip 7 - Allow The Person You Are Dating To Have Their Say - It Is Very Hard To Argue When One Person Refuses To Argue
A lot of times you may be tempted to try to talk over the person you are dating when you are in the middle of an argument or you may comment and cut them off when they are talking. Don't do this. It only fuels a person's anger. Instead of trying to talk over them and battle them, make a choice not to do it. Make a choice to do something else. Make a choice to decide to do something else. It may be hard because our desire is to have the last word, but, if you are committed to ending arguing gracefully, you must make a choice to do something other than what you have been doing.

Graceful arguments require a level of consideration between the both of you. If the person you are dating is not willing to follow these guidelines, it's OK. You follow them. It is extremely hard to argue with someone that exercises control over themselves during an argument. Be the one that stays in control. Dating relationships require effort, but, little arguments don't have to spell disaster for your relationship every time you have them.

Written By Kila Morton

5 Reasons Why Having Sex On The First Date Is A Bad Idea

The Dating Tips Magazine — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

It happens so often. You meet someone, you have great conversation and you connect completely. They know you so well. It's like you were made for each other. They are so beautiful and nice. Before the night is out, you find yourself in an intimate moment with this person. You kiss, you touch and then you have sex. You exchange after-sex pleasantries and then go on your way. The next day you think about what happened the day before, but you aren't filled with feelings of love or joy. You are filled with questions. Did you do the right thing? Will you see this person again? You ask yourself what you were thinking? Did the person have a disease? Having sex on the first date is something many people decide to do and even more people regret. So what are some reasons that having sex on the first date is a bad idea?

By Allowing Yourself To Be In An Intimate Setting With A Person You Just Met, You Place Yourself At Risk Of Being Hurt Physically
People never think about getting hurt by someone they just met, but when you place yourself in a very intimate setting with someone you don't know, you run the risk of all kinds of things happening to you. One pill in a drink and you can often be coerced into things you might never normally do. You don't know the person you are with so you can't tell what will or won't happen. Men and women have been assaulted all because they have placed themselves in situations with people they just didn't know on a first date.

By Allowing Yourself To Be In An Intimate Setting With A Person You Just Met, You Place Yourself At Risk Of Being Robbed
Most men and women never think about being robbed this way, yet so many are everyday. You meet someone and go to a hotel. When you wake up, the person is gone and so is your money and credit cards. It happens everyday. People are often so ashamed that they don't report it to the police. In fact, in many cases they knew so little about the person they were with that they couldn't tell the police much anyway. This could happen to anyone, including you.

Even Though You Have Already Had Sex, Rarely Does A Serious Relationship Develop With The Other Person
You may have been looking at your date with your mate-potential-meter. When you have sex on the first date, that goes right out the window. Rarely does a first night sex-fest end in happily ever after. There is a stigma attached to a people who have sex on the first date. Even the person you had sex with classifies you in a certain way. Women are considered easy and men are considered to be whores. Again, the person you had sex with likely doesn't see themselves this way. They do, however, see YOU this way. If you are trying to create a lasting relationship, skip the first date sex. If the person is a good person, they will be worth the wait.

You Aren't A Bad Person, Yet Every Part Of You Feels Bad
The problem with doing things that are against our core values is that we feel bad about it deep inside even if we don't want to feel bad. You have to be true to yourself when it comes to doing what you want, however, you need to be honest with yourself about what you feel about what you have done. Know that you aren't a bad person. However, you have made a very questionable choice. It's up to you to not make that choice again.

You Don't Know If The Person You Are Having Sex With Has An STD
This is a serious issue. A lot of people think that if a condom is used they are protected. Wrong! There are many diseases that a condom won't protect you from. Genital warts, herpes, scabies and crabs are all STDs that you can get even with a condom. Genital warts and herpes cannot be cured. Is this really what you want for yourself? Is it worth it?

Let's be clear about something. If you just want to have sex with someone, then do what you want. If you are looking for a serious relationship or someone to date seriously, know that you will never find it by having sex with someone on the first date. Not only do you devalue yourself in the eyes of the person you are dating, you also expose yourself to things you may not be able to get rid of. It's not safe, but it is your choice. Ladies, it may sound completely sexist, but men will have a great night of sex with you and then never call you again because they think of you as too easy. They think if you are giving it up so easy to them, you probably do that regularly or would do it again. There is also the chase factor. Most men love a challenge deep down on the inside. They want to feel like they earned something. Like they won the prize. When you give it up so easy, you take away the chase factor. They can't hunt you like they wanted to. Instead, they get some easy sex and the opportunity to go find their challenge elsewhere. Men will almost never take you seriously if they get to have sex with you the first time you go out on a date. Men, you aren't exempt from consequence. When you have sex with a woman on the first date, women look at you as a whore. You are someone not to be trusted.

The bottom line is that we have to make sure that we not only do what we want to, we have to make sure that we are willing to accept the consequences associated with our actions. Having sex on the first date isn't the best idea, but it also isn't the end of the world. If you want a serious relationship, take your time and get to know the person you want to be with. That means avoiding sex until you are sure that you and your partner know each other and you are sure that you are ready.

Written By Kila Morton

How To Handle Loneliness After A Break Up

The Dating Tips Magazine — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

After a breakup, one of the hardest things you may be dealing with is an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. You were in a relationship you thought would last. Now you are facing uncertainty at the prospect of having to go out and find someone new and rebuild your dating life all over again. You may not only have lost your relationship, you may have also had to say goodbye to your mates family and friends. You may be feeling isolated in a way you've never known and you may be unsure of how to put things back together. The good thing to know is that you don't have to spend the rest of your life wallowing in pity and loneliness. Now is the time when you have to focus on you and find the inner strength just waiting to come to the surface. Overcoming your feelings of loneliness doesn't have to be a hard process. With a lot of effort and the ability to be honest with yourself, you can chase away your lonely feelings and get your heart back in order.

The first thing you need to tell yourself is that it's OK to not feel great right away. People will tell you that you should get over what happened. Move on. Grow up. Get on with your life. He wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth it. You can do better. You will hear it all, however, there is only one thing you need to remember. You are not anyone else. You are you and you have your own feelings about what happened and you are entitled to your own feelings. Don't let anyone tell you anything different. People feel things differently and experience breakups in a myriad of different ways. If you are sitting alone feeling lonely, don't feel guilty that you aren't over it yet. It's OK to heal on your own terms.

Having said that, there is something else you should keep in mind. Allowing yourself to wallow in loneliness for too long is a recipe for disaster. You have to heal on your own time, but if you are experiencing overwhelming emotions well after the situation is over, then you may need more help than you realize. Don't be afraid to get that help. It's OK to not be able to heal on your own. It's not OK not to heal. Most of us experience a great deal of anxiety when a relationship ends and we didn't want it to end. Sometimes when those emotions are more intense than we are accustomed to dealing with, we may not be able to just pick up and move on easily. We may require assistance. Fortunately, there are therapists that can help you deal with your loss and get you over that hump.

You may be feeling like you need help, but are unwilling to talk to a therapist. If you know that you are facing feelings of loneliness that you can't face alone, involve your family and friends. Spend time with them. Confide in them. Family and friends aren't just for the good times. They are there for you through thick and thin. Spending time with your family and friends can give you just the boost you need and help you overcome the loneliness you were feeling. You don't have to spill your guts to them about what happened to your relationship if you aren't ready. Sometimes just spending time with them can keep you from feeling isolated and alone.

After you milk your family and friends for their time, it's time for you to get back into the world of the living. Joining a gym is a great way to get into shape, meet new people and kill time. What does killing time have to do with it? Well, when you are feeling lonely and you are by yourself, it's easy to start thinking crazy thoughts. You may start feeling more angryr as you go over and over what happened in your mind. You may start thinking of ways to get revenge or you may start feeling like the world would be better without you. When you keep your mind busy and your body busy, you don't have time to wallow in such anger. Time truly heals all wounds. As you spend time doing things like working out and not thinking about the relationship that ended, you will gradually get to a point where you can be alone without being lonely.

In the end, how you are going to heal and if you are going to heal are choices only you can make for yourself. Dwelling on what has happened is not healthy and it's not going to make you feel any better. Resolve to do something different to help yourself. Treat yourself to something special. If you are a guy, go hang out with your friends, go camping or bowling or something. If you are a woman, go get a facial, a manicure or a spa treatment. Go to some place that you always wanted to go. Cry for yourself if you must, but just know that there comes a moment when you have to wipe away the tears and move on. Don't be afraid to do it. After all, the only thing you would be giving up is your loneliness.

Written By Kila Morton

10 Ways To Date Your Wife

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

A lot of people think that they are done with dating once they get married. The truth is that dating while you are married can help to take your relationship to another level. Over time it's easy to become complacent in your marriage. Sometimes you become so concerned with work and possibly kids that you forget to make your wife feel like she is still the one for you. If you are guilty of treating your wife more like your roommate and less like your wife, don't fear. There is hope for you and your relationship and you can turn the whole thing around. So how can you turn it around and make sure that your wife knows that you still want her and desire her? Start dating her again! Here are 10 ways to help you do just that.

Dating Tip 1 - Send Her Flowers To Her Job Or To The House
If your wife works, send her flowers to her job with a note that tells her how much you love her, how beautiful she is and how much you want her. Women love flowers and they love to feel like you are thinking of them when they aren't around you. Beautiful flowers really make a girl feel great. If your wife is a housewife, sending her flowers at home can make her feel like the queen of her castle.
Dating Tip 2 - Get A Beautiful Card, Add A Lovely Note And Place It In A Place Where She Will Find It
Sometimes the simple things make all the difference. A beautiful card that really communicates what you feel will show your wife how thoughtful you are.
Dating Tip 3 - Invite Your Wife Out To Dinner With An Invitation And Hire A Sitter For Your Children If You Have Them
Make reservations at a nice place, create an invitation for your wife, leave the invitation for her in a place where she will certainly find it, hire a sitter for the children and take your wife out for a special dinner. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you love her. This will show her that not only are you thinking of her, it will also show that you are willing to take the time and energy to take care of the details. Women always think that men can't handle the details. Go ahead and prove her wrong.
Dating Tip 4 - Prepare A Special Meal For Her Or Order Take Out And Treat Her To A Picnic In Your Home
Ask her to go to the store or somewhere else for you and then decorate one room. Get a blanket and a picnic basket (go to an arts and crafts store like Joann Fabrics) and set up a special meal for the two of you. She will be surprised and thrilled at the thought of something so thoughtful. If you can't cook, order something and put it on picnic plates.
Dating Tip 5 - Get A Movie She Likes, Grab Some Blankets, Make Some Popcorn And Invite Her To A Night Of Cuddling On Your Couch
It is so easy to forget the simple things after you've spent many years in a marriage. You start forgetting that there are simple ways to show your wife that you want to be with her. This is a simple thing that will make your love feel loved.
Dating Tip 6 - Plan A Weekend Getaway At A Bed & Breakfast
A lot of woman feel that if they aren't the ones planning things, things won't get planned. Show her that you are the exception to this rule. Plan a beautiful weekend for the two of you at a Bed & Breakfast. Do your research online using something like Trip Advisor. Book everything and call ahead to make sure that things are taken care of. If you aren't near any nice Bed & Breakfast places, reserve a room at a nice hotel that offers a pool and spa services. Then make sure she has a special spa treatment.
Dating Tip 7 - Purchase Tasteful Lingerie For Her
Women like gifts. I don't care who the woman is - she likes gifts! Gifts let a woman know that you are thinking of her. Sometimes women get complacent with their relationship. They stop dressing as nice as they used to. They stop wearing the thongs and start wearing panties that look like white hats. Sometimes women who have been married for some time forget that they are even attractive. It's a mental thing. Little things like lingerie tell her that you still see her as desirable. It's a gesture that goes a long way. When you have become used to seeing yourself as the wife, it may be hard for her to also see herself as sexy. Give her lingerie and a card that says you can't resist her sexy body.
Dating Tip 8 - Take Her On A Camping Trip Complete With A Canoe Ride
Do something adventurous. Take her someplace beautiful and camp out for the weekend. If she isn't the camping out type, then take her to the beach or some other place she will enjoy. The point is to get both of you out of your everyday routine and into something different that allows you both to connect with each other without distraction.
Dating Tip 9 - Take A Day Off And Cater To Your Wife
Sometimes men can get so caught up with living that they forget to live. When you have someone special in your life, ask yourself a question. Is your wife worth taking a day off? If she isn't, you need a divorce. If she is, then take a day off and have a date with your wife. Cater to her on that day. Massage her feet, do her nails, wash her hair. Take her some place nice for breakfast. You are not going to reach the end of your life and say, "Man, if only I had worked every single day of my life!" You will, however, reach the end and wonder why you took the people closest to you for granted. Don't do this to your wife if you really love her. Treat her like one of your highest priorities. Take a day off and make it special for her. She will appreciate you for it.
Dating Tip 10 - Take Her Someplace Nice To Watch The Sunset
Have you ever taken the time to watch a beautiful sunset? It is beautiful, comforting and often spectacular. Make a date with your wife and take her to see a sunset. Get online and search for places to watch sunsets near where you live. Special times like that are the ones she will remember forever.

Never forget that this is the person you are trying to spend the rest of your life with. She has to know, by you showing her, that you want to be with her. Don't think that saying it from time to time will make her feel it. Actions always speak louder than words. Give her every reason to believe that she is the apple of your eye. Marriage takes effort and maintaining a healthy relationship with your wife takes effort as well. Don't think you can just say that you love her and that will be enough. It won't be. Marriage takes more than just love. You heard me. Marriage takes more than love. You need to show your wife that you still feel passionate about her. That keeps the marriage from becoming stale and unhealthy. Now, take a few tips or all of the tips on this list and go show your wife the compassionate and caring man you are.

Written By Kila Morton

Ask K Questions And Answers - My girlfriend's hair...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

How do you discuss a hair shedding problem?

	I have a strange question. A woman I'm dating has a hair weave. She always keeps her hair styled in an attractive way. The problem is that when she stays over, which is almost every night, she combs her hair and strings of hair from the weave shed all over the place. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on a pillow of hair. She started wearing her weave due to a medical condition. How do I bring up the fact that I'm tired of the fake hair shedding all over the place without hurting her feelings? She doesn't really even need to wear it now. Her hair is a nice length. Now she just wears it for fun. - All Weaved Out In DE

	OK. Since you have stated that she doesn't need the weave any more, you shouldn't feel anguish about talking to her about this issue. My suggestion would be to just sit her down and talk about it. You can start off by telling her how beautiful you think she is. Follow up with telling her that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but you have an issue you need to talk about with her. Tell her that her weave sheds a lot and it's ending up everywhere. Ask her if she could be more mindful of it and clean up her hair after she combs or washes her hair. Be honest, keep a nice tone in your voice and be sweet to her. That's it. It doesn't get any easier. If you like this girl enough to be with her, then be honest with her.

View Past Ask K Questions & Answers Have A Question? Submit It Here

5 Profile Photo Tips To Help You Get Your Online Dating Profile Noticed

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Sometimes people underestimate the little details in a profile. They think if they post their profile, people will come. The sad truth is that those people end up waiting, waiting and waiting and then getting a connection request from someone they don't want. The truth of online dating is that you have to sell yourself. It may sound a little strange, but you are promoting a product and that product is you. You have to literally put your best face forward. What does that mean? It means that you have to take every chance you have to make sure that people find something about you that's interesting enough for them to contact you. In the beginning, it's not your personality that shines through, it's what you have on your profile and how people seeing that profile feel about what they see. When it comes to showing your profile visitors something they want to see, there are a few simple steps you can take. Learn how to market yourself and make the most of every visitor that views your profile.

Don't Use A Profile Photo That Doesn't Show How You Really Look
Ladies you can exhale. I don't mean that you should use photos that show how you look first thing in the morning. I mean that you shouldn't use photos from years ago that don't accurately portray what you look like. We all want to be seen in the best light, however, you need to be honest. For instance, if you are a guy that had a full head of beautiful hair years ago, but you only have 2 strands of hair now, don't put a profile photo up that shows you with that full head of hair. That very well may be what you used to look like, but you should face facts. You don't look like that anymore. Someone that contacts you based on that photo may be looking for a guy with a full head of hair and may be disappointed when they see the real thing. Don't do this to yourself. Be honest and let people see the 'real' you. The thing you should do is to make sure that the photo reflects the BEST of how you look right now. Ladies, make sure your makeup and hair looks great. Guys, make sure you look great. Whatever you do, make sure that the photo actually reflects who you are right now.

Leave Out The Photos With Someone Cut Out
If you think that your best picture is one that includes someone that you have to cut out, take a new picture - PERIOD! It is so tacky to see photos that clearly have had someone sliced out of the photo. You need to make the best effort to create the best layout for marketing yourself. So leave the photos with that no-good ex for your scrapbook and get a beautiful photo of just you for your profile.

Skip The Blurry Out Of Focus Photos
Are you trying to hide something? If so, then I can understand why you want a blurry photo. The truth is, however, that those blurry photos don't fool anyone and you are setting yourself up for major disappointment when someone actually sees you. We all want people to look at us and want us. The key is that you have to be happy with you first. There is someone for everyone if you are willing to be honest. The problem is that many people put photos up that are blurry hoping that people will contact them. Then, when someone actually does contact them and makes the effort to actually see them, they are horrified to realize that the person they are meeting with is no longer interested because the photo was hiding something that you can clearly see in public. Don't do this too yourself. Be honest and make sure that photo is crystal clear.

Keep The Photos Of You And Your Friends On Your Desk And Not On Your Profile
People don't realize how detrimental to their online dating experience this can be. You are marketing yourself, not your guy friends or your girlfriends. People tend to compare people in photos. Why would you want a competition when you are trying to find someone to date? You may not think your friends are hotter than you, but, someone else may have a different opinion.

If You Are Really Serious, Hire A Professional Photographer Or Go To Glamour Shots
You should select a professional photographer that is able to really get the best natural looking shot of you. You aren't going for the made up look. They can help you bring out the best thing about your face. It may be your eyes or the strength of your jaw along with your fabulous bald head. A photographer can help with an objective analysis of your look and help you relax in front of the camera.

Whatever you do, make sure that you have a truly reflective, crystal clear photo of you. People want to see your beautiful smile and they want to see your strength shine through that photo. If you are serious about online dating, get serious about projecting the absolute best you that you can show.

Written By Kila Morton

Make Yourself Dateable: Getting Rid Of Guilt

The Dating Tips Magazine — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Finding freedom from guilt is one of the hardest things we face as we come to terms with who we are and what we are about. We experience guilt for a number of reasons. Sometimes it's because we have done something that we feel bad about. Sometimes it's because something was done to us and we feel ashamed. That shame stems from feeling like we should have done more to prevent whatever happened or we should have done more after it did. The problem is that feelings of guilt can incapacitate you, hamper your ability to make sound decisions and end up locking you into a bottle of fear where your emotions and feelings are held captive. You feel a deep amount of regret for the things you have done or the things that were done to you. You tell yourself that you don't deserve to be happy and, that your lack of happiness is all your fault. You start believing that your only way to make things right is to make everyone else but yourself happy. You become overly consumed with what everybody thinks about you and you struggle hard to make those people happy because you don't deserve happiness or joy. So what can you do when those feelings of guilt consume every fiber of your being, you feel overwhelmed by your feelings of guilt and you are having trouble finding happiness in a dating relationship? There are a steps you can take to help rid yourself of the guilt you feel and come to terms with the reasons why you feel guilty.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Guilt Step 1
The beginning to coming to terms with the guilt you feel is to really identify where the fault should be placed for the thing or things you feel guilty about. If you are feeling guilty because of something that someone else did to you, you have to recognize that what happened was not your fault. For example, say that you were robbed and you left the window open that the robber came through. You may be feeling very guilty because you left that window open and the robber came in. The truth is that it wasn't your fault. A person should be able to leave their windows open without someone crawling through them. The person who is in the wrong is the robber - not you. You have to sit down and really go through the issues in your life and accept that some things are just beyond your control.

Sometimes we accept responsibility for things because we can't explain them. We don't know the reason for certain things so we force our minds to find a reason. The problem is that sometimes our minds follow the path of least resistance. We start telling ourselves that since we can't find a reason, we must in fact be the reason. When you sit down and examine where your feelings of guilt are coming from, you must be completely honest with yourself. Sometimes when we have been dealing with guilt for a long time, we make ourselves believe untrue things about ourselves and about the situation that precipitated the guilt. The only way you are going to heal is to be completely honest with yourself about where the fault should really be placed.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Guilt Step 2
After you come to terms with where the fault should be placed, you need to come to terms with how the issue that precipitated the guilt affected other people. If you did something to someone, you need to be honest about what you did and you need to make it right. There are a lot of people that tell you that you should keep what you feel guilty about if confessing would cause others harm. The problem with this is that you haven't taken responsibility for your actions. Part of what makes you feel guilt when you have done something wrong is that your beliefs were not in sync with something you've done. If it is no longer possible to right the wrong with the actual person you wronged, talk to someone else about what you did. A pastor, your doctor, a police officer, a close friend or a family member are all possible people you can talk to about the reason for your guilt.

If someone did something to you, you need to take the appropriate action to address what happened and put the situation to rest. If the person committed a criminal act against you, you must tell the appropriate authorities. Even if it would now cause others pain, it's time to put yourself first and take control of the situation. It wasn't your fault that the situation occurred and you shouldn't worry about what will happen when the truth comes out. The truth is what it is. If the situation was something that happened and it is not possible to address the issue with anyone else, accept this and resolve to let the situation go.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Guilt Step 3
After you have resolved the issue with the person you wronged or the person who wronged you, recognize that things may not go back to normal for you. You will face a daily battle as you work through cleansing yourself of your guilt. The key thing that you have to do now is to forgive yourself. This requires actually accepting that you are worthy of forgiveness and love. It requires accepting that no matter what happened, there is always a chance for forgiveness.

Letting go of guilt opens you up to feeling love. If you are willing to put in some effort, change the way you think about what has happened in your life and forgive yourself, you just may experience love in ways that you never realized.

Written By Kila Morton

8 Ways To Make Sure Your Breath Doesn't Kill Your Date

The Dating Tips Magazine — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Bad Breath! Unfortunately it's a part of life we often have to deal with when dating. Men, women, young, old, poor and rich - bad breath is a visitor almost everyone let's in at some point in their lives. When you are just starting to date someone, it can be a deal breaker. When you have been dating someone for a while, it can be a deal crusher. So what can you do to make sure that the smells coming from your mouth don't kill flowers and wildlife 20 feet away?

Dating Tips 1 - Brush Your Teeth Right Before You See Your Date
Let me tell you something. Toothpaste and portable brushes are in! Go to your neighborhood convenience store and get your portable equipment. It won't fail you in your time of need. A portable brush and a small tube of toothpaste are small enough to fit in a jacket pocket. Make sure you have one in your pocket and make sure you use it before you see your date so that your breath is fresh.

Dating Tips 2 - Carry Breath Mints With You
Make sure you carry breath mints with you. Although they are not as good as being able to actually brush your teeth, they are very helpful for quick relief of bad breath.

Dating Tips 3 - Avoid Coffee And Mocha Latte Whatever
Coffee really makes your breath stink. It smells so good when it's being made. In your mouth, however, it's a good breath killer. If you know you are going to be meeting your date, leave the coffee off of your menu for the day to protect your breath.

Dating Tips 4 - Go Easy On The Garlic And Onions
Garlic and onions are a sure way to drive a wedge between you and someone you are dating. When you know you are going on a date, skip these goodies and make your date happy.

Dating Tips 5 - Put Your Cigarettes Away For The Day
Cigarettes do not only stain your teeth, they also make your breath smell horrible. Even after you brush your teeth, it is very hard to get rid of that smoking smell. If you know you are going to have a special date, don't smoke. You can always light up after your date.

Dating Tips 6 - Carry A Small Bottle Of Listerine With You
In addition to providing your breath with a big pick me up, Listerine kills bacteria that cause bad smells in the first place. You can always excuse yourself, swish and come back to your date with fresh breath if you have Listerine.

Dating Tips 7 - If You Go On A Dinner Date, Excuse Yourself And Quickly Brush Your Teeth After The Meal
Having pieces of spinach stuck between your teeth is not pretty. Neither is the smell a good dinner can leave on your breath. Take care of both with a quick brush up after dinner. Your breath, your teeth and your date will thank you for it.

Dating Tips 8 - Have Rotten Teeth Removed - They Poison Your System
Rotten teeth poisons your system and can cause you to have bad breath. If you have teeth that need to come out, get them out ASAP. Talk with your dentist and get those decaying teeth pulled to protect not only your breath, but also your overall health.

If you do all of these things and your breath can still knock down buildings, it's time to seek professional help. Sometimes bad breath is a symptom of a much bigger problem. Don't be afraid to get that additional help. A lot of times we put off things like this and hope they will go away. Wouldn't you feel really stupid if a small problem developed into an out of control problem requiring a lot of expense to fix (or perhaps surgery) when you could have gone to the doctors and had it taken care of without all of the hassle? If your car was falling apart you would have it checked out. You are far more valuable than a car. Take some time and invest in you. No one wants to kiss someone with bad breath. Take the time to get your breath under control.

Written By Kila Morton

11 Ways To Help A Person You Are Dating When He Has Erectile Dysfunction

The Dating Tips Magazine — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

The inability to achieve an erection or the inconsistent ability to do so along with only being able to sustain an erection for a brief period of time is known as erectile dysfunction. Dealing with Erectile Dysfunction, or ED as it's called, can really place a lot of stress on your dating relationship. A man with ED is really facing an enormous amount of pressure. On the one hand there is the pressure he is feeling to perform. On the other hand there is the damage he feels to his ego. He is likely feeling uneasy about what he should do, if he should use ED drugs, how he should approach the problem and if he should see someone to talk about his problems. So what can be done to help the man facing ED? Here are a few ways to help you cut down on the stress and make the most of your relationship with the person you are dating.

Dating Tip 1 - Be Understanding
Sometimes it's hard to be understanding when you don't understand the reasons why something is happening. ED can be caused by many different things. It's effect is clear, but the cause may elude the person you are dating. That will probably make them feel helpless and afraid although they may not be able or willing to articulate that to you. This means that you will need to be understanding with the person you are dating. Understand that some men have a harder time than others dealing with the fact that they are no longer as strong as they used to be.

Dating Tip 2 - Be Patient
The answers to why your partner has ED may not come right away. The issue may not be apparent or clear. It may seem that it is psychosomatic, but there may be an actual physical issue that the doctors are missing. The situation requires that you be patient as the person you are dating works to uncover the answers to their problems.

Dating Tip 3 - Suggest Medical Help Right Away & Continue Pressing Until The Doctors Get To The Bottom Of The Problem
One woman thought her husband was having an affair when he stopped having sex with her. After many fights about his inability to perform, he went to a doctor who suggested that he start seeing a shrink - which he did. His wife was continually frustrated that things weren't getting better sexually even though he was seeing a shrink. She ended up having an affair. Finally, after two years of trying drugs and shrinks, he started seeing a new doctor. Guess what? He had a tumor that was causing the ED and his diminished sex drive. He had gone to a doctor when the problem first started happening, but his first doctor missed it. It's so very important to get medical help and to keep pressing until the issue is found. If there is something serious going on, seeking medical help as if your life depends on it will help you discover the truth.

Dating Tip 4 - Don't Blame Yourself
You have to know that your partner having ED is not your fault. Even if the issue has something to do with you, it isn't your fault. Every person's body responds to stimuli differently. If the issue is not a medical issue and is instead a mental issue, your partner has to work through their triggers. You should not blame yourself for the physical problems the person you are dating is experiencing. However, you should be working to be part of the solution. Placing blame won't solve anything. If the person you are dating tells you that your physical appearance has caused them to have ED, don't accept this. There are plenty of people who would be able to be with you no matter what you look like or act like. The problem is with your partner and your partner has to work through their issues. Often people with ED will start to blame the people around them because they are fearful and they don't know what is going on. Don't allow their anguish to become your pain. Help them, but don't let them make you the scapegoat. Be understanding, but firm in your approach.

Dating Tip 5 - Try Unconventional Things
Being with someone with ED may require special things to get the love making mood right. It may require you to step outside of your comfort zone and try something different. Take some time to think about different ways you can help to get your partner in the mood. Talk with him about it. Don't be shy. Sometimes being open and honest can make the situation much better. Don't be afraid to talk to your partner about what they may like to try and then don't be afraid to try something other than your normal routine.

Dating Tip 6 - Keep Things In Perspective
It's easy to blow things out of proportion when you aren't having sex. You start arguing about little things. You start fighting about the reasons why. It's your fault. It's his fault. It's his job. It's this or that. Everything seems to start falling apart all at once. Learn to take control of the situation and keep things in perspective. It isn't the end of the world and it isn't the end of your life - whether you are the person with ED or the person dating someone with ED. There are children who are going to go to bed hungry. There are people who have lost loved ones. There are people who have just found out that they are going to die soon. How big does this obstacle seem when you stack it up against those things? Keep things in perspective and don't blow things out of proportion because this issue seems so big. Trust that you will get the help you need and stay calm.

Dating Tip 7 - Be Sensitive To His Needs
Be very sensitive to the things that he needs. This situation is very delicate and it's hard to help someone who is feeling insecure. You have to be sensitive to this. The situation is going to require delicate handling until it's resolved. Make sure you remain sensitive in what you say and do. Never engage in name calling or put downs with someone who has ED. You are only going to make a rough situation worse.

Dating Tip 8 - Don't Pretend That Everything Is OK
One of the worst things you can do is to simply act like the situation does not exist. We are adults and life is too short for this type of game. You have to be willing to admit that there is a problem in order to begin the process of solving the problem. You have to be honest. If the person you are dating is having an ED problem then you are having an ED problem. Don't turn a blind eye and expect things to get better. There is a distinct chance that the issue may be medical. You wouldn't want to find out that the problem is incurable, but could have been solved if only you had taken care of it earlier would you? You want the best for the person you are with. Address the problem and be honest with yourself and with the guy you are dating.

Dating Tip 9 - Don't Threaten Your Man With Ultimatums
Sometimes, when we think a person isn't doing enough to get things going, we offer ultimatums. We say things like if you don't do this by this date then I'm leaving or if you don't get this under control by this date, then I'm leaving. This is completely wrong. You cannot solve the issue with ultimatums. You cannot solve the issue with pressure. You have to use your brains and not your brawn in this situation. You can't influence a person with ED with ultimatums. They need support, they need help and, in some cases, they need time.

Dating Tip 10 - If He Is Going To A Mental Health Professional For ED, Go With Him To Support Him
If your man is going to a mental health professional, show your support by going with him if he wants you to. Sometimes the support of someone who cares about you can go a long way in helping you get help for yourself. Don't be afraid to be the backbone for the person you are dating. He needs your support and he should be able to count on it.

Dating Tip 11 - Let Him Know That You Still Find Him Attractive
Your man needs to feel that he is still the one you want. His ego is bruised. He is feeling like he is less than. He needs to know that you are still there with him and that you still find him attractive. Don't be afraid to tell him that you love him, need him and still find him attractive. He needs to hear it now more than ever.

Dealing with a man with ED is often a hard thing to do. You have to show restraint and patience. If he needs help, then help him. Being in a strong relationship isn't just about being there when things are going good. It's about being there when things aren't going well. You may or may not be married, but if you care about the person you are with, you need to act like it. Don't put unnecessary pressure on him. Make an effort to do as much as you can do to help the situation. ED is something that can be managed and, in some cases, eliminated. It just requires that you both care enough and do enough to figure out the answers.

Written By Kila Morton

How The NDJ Can Help You Uncover A Cheater - Watch The Signs!

The Dating Tips Magazine — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Many people are plagued by the problems that cheaters bring into a relationship. The mistrust, the self-doubt, the wondering why and so much more. Sometimes you are placed in situations where you are with a cheater, but you don't even know it. They do whatever they can to cover up their tracks and make you feel like you are the crazy one for even questioning their fidelity and their commitment to your relationship. When you feel suspicious, but can't seem to get that final confirmation, there are a few things that will help you out without you doing a thing as long as you pay attention to the signs. One of those things is the NDJ and it can end up being a tremendous source of information and confirmation for you as long as you pay attention to the signs. You may be wondering what the NDJ is. I won't keep you in suspense. The NDJ is an acronym I created for the time of year that reveals almost all cheaters - November, December & January.

When you are unsure if a person is cheating, but have reason to suspect that they are, you can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out ways to confirm their fidelity. This is one of the reasons why the NDJ is so significant. The premise of using the NDJ is simple. The holiday season is typically spent with the people you really care about and there is a finite amount of time available to spend with people. Cheaters who have been lying to everyone in their lives, face a tremendous quandary during this time and if you are adept at paying attention, you can not only pick up on this quandary, you can also discover if you have reason to be alarmed. Each part of the NDJ plays a special part in determining the facts.

The Significance Of November

November is the start of the holiday season. Thanksgiving is a time when family gets together with one another and enjoys good food and good times. The problem is that cheaters can't be in more than one place at one time. There are a number of items that may indicate that something is not right. Cheaters that have multiple relationships going on typically get very creative with their reasons for needing to be away from you during the holiday. If you just have to know what they are doing, then you have to be just as creative with your excuses for going with them or staying around them or tracking them. You are going to read some things in this article that the cheater may throw at you and things for you to counter with.

The Significance Of December

December is typically a very hard month for cheaters. In fact, it may be the hardest month of the year for cheaters because they typically have to not only split their time between multiple people, they also have to purchase gifts, hide gifts and get the gifts to their destination without anyone knowing. You have to be extra vigilant to catch cheaters in December, but, fortunately there are a number of additional signs that aren't present in the other months that you can use to pinpoint what is going on. The big holidays are Christmas and the eve of the new year.

The Significance Of January

The new year can bring a change for you if you already have the confirmation that the person you are dating is cheating, however, it can also be one of the best times to see what is going on if you aren't sure. The eve and the first day of the new year are the points where cheaters typically have to split their time. If they aren't with you, they may be doing something that they shouldn't be doing.

What The Cheaters Will Do During The NDJ And Deciding What Your Objectives Are

Now that you know what obstacles the cheater is facing, you need to understand what the cheaters will do to get around the obstacles they have created for themselves and how you can counter their actions. You have to come to a determination within yourself before you try to counter what they are doing. That determination is about what you intend to do. You need to know this ahead of time because it's what determines how you are going to counter your cheater. Here are your possible things you may want.

I want to uncover the cheating, but not leave the cheater. It doesn't matter if the cheater will continue cheating.
I want to uncover the cheating, but not leave the cheater and I want the cheater to stop cheating.
I want to uncover the cheating and leave the cheater.

Once you discover what you want, you need to focus on what the cheater is going to do and countering it. Here are the things the cheater will say and do.

The cheater may constantly try to excuse herself or himself to use their cell phone away from everyone else. Here are ways to get the information you need.
There are several small and cheap ($7) listening devices you can use to hear the conversation. Once the person goes outside, you can listen to the conversation using one of these devices. If you aren't prepared to listen in like this, check the cell phone records. By looking at how many times particular numbers are called you may be able to discover who your partner is talking to. Then, you can use reverse lookups on the Internet to discover who the number belongs to.

The cheater may constantly try to go to the store to pick up things
You can insist that you go along or follow the person to the store. If you don't do anything and they come back, ask to see the receipt. It's easy to calculate how long it should take to get to a particular place and from a particular place. If the receipt, when the person left and when they came back don't match up then you have an indication that something isn't write.

The cheater may schedule a 'business trip' that will keep them away for the holiday.
Call and try to verify that they are where they say they are. Check their credit card. Look at their receipts when they come back. Review their bank statements. If you don't have access to any of these things, then make sure that you do all you can to verify the person's whereabouts while they are on the trip. Call their employer and say that you have some extreme emergency and need to reach them. Call all of the hotels in the area they say they are in.

The cheater may tell you they have to work when they really don't.
Go to the job and verify that they are in fact working. Call the job to confirm that they are working.

The cheater may tell you they need to visit a family member that doesn't like you so that you won't come along.
Call the family member yourself and make peace with them if you have had issues. Go see them before the holiday and take them a gift as a peace offering. Ask them directly if it's OK for you to come over. If the cheater insists on not taking you, show up on your own. If you don't know where they live, insist that the cheater take you. If all else fails and they won't take you and you don't know where they live, get their full name and then look up their address using the Internet.

The cheater may tell you that they need to pick up something from a friend.
Insist that you go with them. The cheater may say that it will only be a minute. You should stand firm.

The cheater may try to start an argument with you to stop you from being around them during the holiday.
Don't allow them to manipulate you this way. If they start an argument, tell them that you understand their point and they are correct about whatever it is. Don't let them trick you into an argument that keeps you away from them. Agree with whatever they say so you can get the proof you need.

The cheater may try to hide gifts they purchase for other people.
Check their receipts, credit cards and bank statements. Cheaters are slick. They may say that the gifts are for a relative. In this case, make sure that you ask the relative about the gift right after the holiday. Make sure to look in the trunk of their car, if you can. This is a hiding place that cheaters often use to hide gifts.

The cheater may tell you that they are going to a party or some event that you cannot go to.
There may be nothing you can do to circumvent this obstacle. You may want to go to the event to see if the person you are dating leaves the event alone if it is possible.

The cheater tells you they just want to be alone during the holiday.
You can drive by their home to try and see if they are alone. You may also take them a plate of food just to make sure they had something to eat which gives you a reason for coming over against their wishes.

Examining the cheater closely during the NDJ will likely yield all of the information you are looking for. There is something to be said for avoiding all of these things and just trusting your gut if you feel that something isn't right, but if you are one of those people that must have explicit confirmation, then these items will likely help you during the NDJ.

Written By Kila Morton

How To Battle Bitterness After A Break Up And Win

The Dating Tips Magazine — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

When a relationship that you really wanted ends, it's easy to become consumed with anger. You may have invested a lot of time and effort into the relationship. Losing it not only makes you feel a sense of loss, it also can lead you to become very bitter. Sometimes the circumstances surrounding the breakup add to the anger and animosity you feel. Maybe the person you were dating cheated on you and left. Now you are left to pick up the emotional pieces of your relationship. Animosity and resentment begin to overwhelm you followed by a tremendous feeling of deep anger. What follows is a feeling of bitterness that begins to seep into every part of your life. The sun doesn't shine as brightly anymore. Food doesn't taste as good. As you go through your days, you try not to let the bitterness show, but you can't help it. You are angry and you feel like your world will never be right again. You keep asking yourself how you can get past your feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness. Fortunately, the key to dealing with bitterness lies inside of you waiting for you to ask it to come out.

The first step to dealing with bitterness is asking yourself what you feel helpless about. Helpless? Yes helpless! Bitterness develops when we feel powerless to change what is happening to us. We feel like passengers in our own lives walking around trying to figure out where we are being taken. We are unsteady because we feel like we aren't in control. Therefore, the first step to repairing our hearts is coming to terms with the sense of helplessness we are feeling. When it comes to break ups our sense of helplessness often stems from the fact that someone is ending the relationship and we don't want it to end. We feel helpless because we can't stop the person we were in the relationship with from leaving. In order to battle bitterness, we must determine the root cause of our helplessness.

As our sense of helplessness deepens, we start to feel threatened and as that threat manifests itself inside of our hearts we start to feel more anger. As this anger becomes extreme, we end up turning into someone we aren't. Therefore, after determining what is causing you to feel helpless, your next step is to think about and accept some truths about your bitterness. Here are a few things that you have to accept and understand to conquer your bitterness.

Life is not fair.
People who are selfish do things based on what they want. Hurting you is neither personal for them or a concern for them.
Your anger is meaningless to the person that was the root cause of the problem and useless to you.

Accepting these truths will not only allow you to recognize that this situation is not worth your anger, it will help you to accept the next step in dealing with bitterness, which is that there are better things in store for you.

When you are faced with the prospect of moving on, it may be hard to accept that doing so is in your best interest. You may be feeling stuck in your bitterness. You have accepted that your anger is meaningless to the person that it is directed toward. What you may be less accepting of is that there are better things in store for you if you want better things. You may be feeling that the relationship you were in was the best thing you will ever know. Get a grip! It may have been the best thing you knew up until that point in time, but there are other people in this world. If you give yourself some time and the opportunity, you will find someone else. Better things are waiting for you, but you have to be open to them. Your relationship wasn't as good as you thought it was or you would still be in it. There ARE better things right around the corner. You just have to be mentally free of your bitterness when those better things come your way.

You have to realize that sometimes things happen that we don't want to happen. This may be a simplistic view of your situation, but, ultimately isn't that what everything boils down to? Bitterness doesn't have to consume you unless you want it to. You have to put as much effort into thinking about the reasons why you feel the way you do and changing them as you have into being angry and resentful. If you do, you are going to find that you are able to battle bitterness and win

Written By Kila Morton

Ask K Questions And Answers - Leaving after sex...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Why do women think that waiting to have sex means something?

	I have been dating a girl I met through a friend for a couple of weeks. She told me that it's too soon for us to have sex. When I asked her why, she said it was because she doesn't want me to just have sex with her and leave. My question is what makes her think that I won't leave after I have sex with her anyway? I'm not saying that I would, but I'm just confused about her logic. What makes her think that making a guy wait for sex will make him not leave after he finally has sex with her? - Making Me Wait In MD

	The truth is that women who do this don't know what a man is going to do. However, she is trying to use caution for whatever it's worth. What else are woman that have sex supposed to do? Give it up to every guy that shows some interest? She is trying to make sure that you aren't just out to have sex with her. It's almost like a security system. Think about it. If you are up to no good, and you are about to rob a house, is it easier to rob the house that has a security system or the one that has the door unlocked? She has her security system on in hopes that the men who are just out to have sex will move on to an easier target. If you had a daughter and she was having sex wouldn't you want her to wait too? Think about it.

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Do Not Waste Time Expecting Your Online Dating Prospects To Be 100% Everything You Want

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

One of the first key problems that a lot of people face when they decide to try online dating is trying to attract people to their profile. One of the second key problems people have is trying to come to terms with what they really want. When you spend time measuring people against your list of 'He or She Must Be This Or That', you place yourself in a situation where you may just end up waiting for that special someone that never comes. People place unrealistic expectations on their online dates without really thinking about what it is they are truly looking for.

When you meet a person face to face, you take time to get to know them. There may be things about them that you don't like, but you balance those things against the things you do like. More often than not, the minor flaws they have don't stop you from pursuing a relationship with them. You get together and you have some issues and you work through them. That is the normal, typical progression of a non-online relationship. When you 'meet' someone online, you start out from a completely different position. You create your list of wants and don't wants and then you work from there. The problem is that you often exclude perfectly good people because they don't have all of the qualities you want on the list. Instead of looking at the long term outlook the way that you do when you are trying to date someone face to face, you start placing all kinds of conditions and requirements on the type of people that you will talk to - without considering the others.

Spend some time and really think about not only what you are looking for, but also the natural growth of relationships. If you meet someone that doesn't meet your requirement of loving car races, maybe you can meet someone that likes cars that you can introduce to car racing. You have to think about the long term. If you aren't willing to give people a chance online, you may end up waiting a long time for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. Think about it.

Written By Kila Morton

Make Yourself Dateable: Dealing With Avoidance

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

A lot of us have problems dealing with things from time to time. There may even be times when we just want to avoid the whole situation. When we decide to stop facing problems and start avoiding them as a way of dealing with our problems, we are entering the arena of avoidance behavior. People that regularly practice avoidance, expose themselves to a variety of negative issues based on their inability to face their issues. If this sounds like you, then you need a way to deal with your issues and turn things around. It may be difficult to face, but you have to learn how to face your issues to make the best life for yourself.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Avoidance Step 1
The first step in learning how not to avoid your problems, is to ask yourself why you are avoiding things in the first place. That may be a little too analytical for some people, but, looking into your heart is the first step in working through your issues. Here are a few things to think about as you analyze yourself. Do you avoid doing certain things because you don't want to appear incompetent to other people? Do you avoid certain things because you don't understand them? Do you avoid certain things because you don't want to lose something? Being honest with yourself is a hard thing to do, but, not being honest with yourself is going to keep you trapped in a cycle of avoidance.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Avoidance Step 2
After you come to terms with why you are avoiding issues, it's time to exert some control over the issues you love to avoid. Splitting huge problems into smaller blocks helps us to focus and get through issues that might otherwise overwhelm us. Begin your mission by deciding to start small and face the problems in one area of your life first. This way you won't get overwhelmed and you will actually be able to stick to your mission.

Dating Tip: Getting Over Avoidance Step 3
After you begin tackling your issues, the last step is analyzing how you are doing. If you find that you aren't doing well not avoiding issues, invest some time in seeing a therapist. There is no shame in admitting you need help. The only shame is having help available and not being willing to use it. Don't be afraid. It doesn't make you less than if you reach out to someone for help.

If you find it hard to figure out if you typically avoid things, involve the people you care about. Ask them for feedback about you. Sometimes we have to step outside of ourselves to begin to open up. There are people waiting to love you and embrace you. Sharing your life with someone is difficult, but, trying to do that and avoid your issues is almost impossible. Stop running, turn around and face things head on.

Written By Kila Morton

4 Simple Online Dating Safety Tips To Keep You Protected

The Dating Tips Magazine — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

You may assume that if you are meeting people online, you don't have to plan for your safety. This is untrue. Online safety is just as important as your safety when meeting someone face to face. Many people feel that the Internet is anonymous. They feel a certain level of comfort in telling people personal things about them because they think they are safe. Unfortunately, this isn't the case. You have to take measures to protect yourself and there are many precautions you can take to protect yourself when you are trying to meet people online. Here are ways to protect yourself online.

Dating Tip 1 -When You Create An Online Profile, Don't Include Your Personal Information
This means don't include your name, address, phone number, company name or any other identifying information. It is very easy to find someone by putting together small details. You are out to meet someone you can date, not to advertise your personal details to every crazy that wants to view it. Keep your private details private until you are ready to reveal yourself to the person you want to meet.

Dating Tip 2 - Make Sure The Dating Site You Are Using Has Their Own System For Communicating With Other Members
Most sites offer email systems or IM systems that allow you to communicate with other members. Use these tools. Don't use your personal email account or other IM accounts to communicate with people you meet online. Here is why. If things don't work out, do you really want people you don't want to talk to having that kind of access to you? We both know you don't so just use the tools provided by the dating site.

Dating Tip 3 - When You Finally Decide To Communicate With Someone Outside Of The System, Create An Anonymous Email Account With Yahoo, Hotmail, GMail or Some Other Service
Don't use your personal email accounts for communicating with people you meet online. If at some point in the future you make the decision to get serious about someone you met online, you may want to give your personal email account out (I wouldn't), but, until you get that point you should use an anonymous email account.

Dating Tip 4 - When people make contact with you, never feel like you have to communicate with them.
One of the benefits of online dating is that you can control when, how and where you communicate with other people. Make the most of that control. Don't communicate with anyone that you don't want to communicate with. If someone continues to contact you through the dating system and you have asked them to stop, contact the service and ask them to handle the situation. Most dating services have some sort of method to report inappropriate contact.

When you are online, you have to take precautions to make sure that you are protected and safe. It is your responsibility to protect your personal details. Online dating can be a lot of fun when you take the time to take care of yourself.

Written By Kila Morton

5 Ways To Chase A Guy Away In 10 Seconds Or Less

The Dating Tips Magazine — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Women invest a lot of time in figuring out what makes guys tick, how to find guys and how to hold on to guys. The truth is that men really aren't that complicated. Sorry guys, but you really aren't. Men, for the most part, follow set patterns that are pretty obvious and predictable. You may come across the exceptional few that don't fit the mold, but, even those guys can easily be figured out given a little analysis and a little time. So you may be asking yourself, if what I'm saying is true, how come you keep losing all of the men you find? The answer may have less to do with them and more to do with you. Have you been intentionally chasing the guys you date away? Before you decide to leave this site with an attitude, take a few moments and see if you are doing one of the 5 items on the list of surefire ways to send a guy running and screaming for the hills. If you have been doing the things listed below, take a moment and decide to make a conscious effort to change. This list is by no means exhaustive, but if these items are things you are doing, then you may just want to change your game.

Chase A Guy Away: Dating Tip 1 - Tell The Guy That You Love Him Somewhere Between Dates 1 And 3
Most guys have a problem dealing with complex emotions too soon. They start feeling rushed and pressured. There are some that will say they love you right back impulsively, but the majority of guys take this as a sign that you are becoming too clingy too fast. Take your time, get to know the person and instead of saying "I love you" quickly, tell them that you are really enjoying getting to know them. This is nonthreatening, yet communicates your point.

Chase A Guy Away: Dating Tip 2 - Introduce Him To Your Family On the First Date
If you are a teenager, then doing this is great. If you are all grown up, this is not so great. Guys hate to feel like they are being pushed into something. If they are seriously looking for a relationship first, they want to get to know you before they start meeting members of your family. When you do this, it seems like you are trying to force them into something - even if you aren't. Save the family meeting for after you really get to know the guy. Your family is precious. Meeting them is a special treat that should be reserved for important people.

Chase A Guy Away: Dating Tip 3 - Calling Him Incessantly After Your First Date
Why oh why do people do this? Stop it! If you call a person once and leave them a message and then you call again and leave them a message - that's enough! Wait for him to call you. Calling incessantly is not only annoying, it makes you look incredibly desperate and slightly crazy. Think about it. You must have nothing to do if all you are doing is spending your time calling him minute after minute. Don't you think he is thinking about that? It doesn't make him feel appreciated, it makes him feel smothered. If you have a compulsive need to call him, call your family members or someone else instead. Give him a chance to call you.

Chase A Guy Away: Dating Tip 4 - Showing Up At His Home Unannounced & Without An Invitation
Can you say stalker? Most men hate to feel like you are invading their space. Showing up at a person's home without calling is not only rude, it is an invasion. If you really like this person, and you are trying to see if they are possibly living with someone or have something inappropriate going on at their home, drive by without them noticing you or, better yet, ask the if you can come over. Often, once you get the milk, you don't need to see the cow to confirm that it exists. In this case, if the guy you are dating tells you that you can't come over (this is the milk in my analogy), then you don't need to come over to figure out that there is something going on (this would be the cow in my analogy). If you can never come over, you have your answer. Don't just show up announced.

Chase A Guy Away: Dating Tip 5 - Constantly Criticizing Him
You may think that you are constructively criticizing him, but he is looking at it like you are a pain the you-know-what. Don't constantly criticize the guy you are dating unless you want to end up alone. Being overly vocal in your criticism makes a guy feel like he isn't a man. It diminishes him internally. That's not what you want is it? If you have points that you think he needs to change, reserve a time with him and talk about those things at that time. Constantly bringing up different issues at different times when you are together is annoying and condescending - even if you are correct. There is one thing that you have to learn in a relationship - being correct doesn't make you right and being incorrect doesn't make you wrong. That may seem like a crazy statement. Here is what it means. You may be constantly correct about different things that you bring up that he should change or correct, however, your approach can be completely wrong. He could be constantly incorrect in what he is doing, however, that doesn't mean it's not right for him. What ends up happening in these instances is that he starts tuning you out. Then when you have something important to say, he isn't even listening anymore. That's not what you want, so lay off the constant criticisms. No one is perfect - not even you.

These are just a few of the items that will chase a guy away. If you like someone, and they like, you let the relationship progress at a normal pace. Don't try to rush or push someone into something. People will often allow you to do this and then rebel against you later on. Give yourself time to get to know the guy you are dating. Don't try to manipulate the situation into what you want it to be. You want the person you are dating to run to you, not away from you. Take your time and your patience and understanding will pay off.

Written By Kila Morton

15 Things Not To Do When The Child Of Someone You Are Dating Dislikes You

The Dating Tips Magazine — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

For a lot of people, dating is something that requires a lot of effort. Trying to combine two personalities can leave a person feeling drained, tense and frustrated. When you are dating someone that has a child, or children, the effort is made that much more difficult. So what can you do when your dating efforts require that you consider more than just yourself and the person you are dating? Specifically, what can you do if you are dating someone with a child, or with children, and they don't like you or want you around? There are a few dating tips to remember that can help put everyone at ease and make your dating situation more comfortable for you, the person you are dating and most importantly, their children.

Dating Tip 1 - Don't Take Rejection By Your Date's Child/Children Personally
If you haven't done anything to your date's child/children, then the anger they may be showing you is not personal. Most kids want their parents together, no matter how dysfunctional their parent's relationship may have been. If they were old enough to understand that their parents relationship was ending, then they probably have a lot of anger and fear about their inability to control the situation. How a kid feels about a break up rarely stops parents from actually going through with the break up. The child may want the parents to stay together and may express their feelings to the parents. Typically, the parents aren't going to change their minds about leaving or staying based on the kids feelings. This leaves the kid feeling helpless. They can't control their parents so they make it their objective to control you. They may show a level of disdain for you that makes you question if being in the relationship is even worthwhile. You can't let this rattle you and you shouldn't lash out at the child. Recognize that this behavior is a symptom of a deeper hurt the child is feeling. It has nothing to do with you. They see you as a threat to their ideal scenario, which in most cases, is having their parents back together. It isn't about you and they would treat anyone that came into the situation the same way.

Dating Tip 2 - Don't Try To Be A Second Parent To The Child
OK. This may be hard to accept if you are dating the custodial parent and the non custodial parent is never around, but you are not the parent in this situation. However well meaning you are, you have to accept the fact that you are not the parent. You need to work to be a friend to the child/children. Doing this will establish a bond of trust and then the child/children will be open to listening to what you have to say.

Dating Tip 3 - Don't Try To Bully The Child Into Submitting To You
If the child doesn't like you being around, bullying the child isn't going to make it any better. You may be thinking that as long as the child stays quiet you can deal with them. This is the wrong approach. Kids that aren't allowed to express themselves often end up acting out in other ways. Sometimes those ways can have devastating consequences. Don't try to bully the child. You have to be understanding and compassionate. The child/children already feel like they have been given a raw deal. Don't amplify this feeling by threatening them. Besides hurting the child, if the child informs their parent about what you are doing, you are likely to lose the relationship. I know that I would end the relationship if I found out you were bullying my child. Most parents would do the same.

Dating Tip 4 - Don't Try To Separate The Child From The Parent You Are Dating
Doing this can have devastating effects on the child. If you have any kind of morals, you will never try to drive a wedge between the child and the parent you are dating. Children need to feel safe in order to feel happy. Not having their parents together has already taken away a portion of their safety net. Deep down in places they aren't even aware of, the kid realizes this. Trying to create discord or problems between the child and the parent only deepens the kids sense of not feeling safe. That is very painful for children. It is painful for them in ways that they aren't even able to express. The child doesn't dislike you because you are a bad person. They are acting the way they are because they are hurt. Don't personalize this to the point where you start being a hindrance to a strong relationship between the child and the parent you are dating. Kids need all of the security they can get.

Dating Tip 5 - Never Say Negative Things About The Parent That Isn't Around
Even if the parent is an absolute dead beat, it is not your place to state this to the child. You are not the parent. Let the child come to his or her own determinations about the type of person the other parent is. Saying negative things about that parent goes a long way in reinforcing the mistrust that the child already feels towards you because, in their minds, you are taking away their mom or dad. If the other parent is a bad person, let the child figure it out in time. The parent should inform the child that what the other parent has done or is doing is wrong, however, you should never say anything to diminish the image of that parent in the child's mind. It just isn't your place.

Dating Tip 6 - Don't Ignore The Child
Although it may seem that the child/children just wants you to crawl in a hole and die, this isn't the case. The child is acting out of anger. They are simply directing that anger toward you. It isn't right, but ignoring them isn't right either. Remember that you are the adult. You have to work to gain the child's trust by showing them that you are not out to hurt them. Sometimes it's hard for kids to get that point, but it is your responsibility to drive that point home. Ignoring the child is simply irresponsible and immature. You are the adult, so act like it.

Dating Tip 7 - Don't Battle With The Child
You are the adult in this situation. Don't get into verbal or mental battles with the child. Children are looking for somewhere to direct their anger and you have become the outlet. Don't get drawn into verbal confrontations with the child. You are older and hopefully wiser. Arguing with a child is not what you should be doing. If the child says something that is completely inappropriate, you must involve the parent you are dating. Don't take it upon yourself, initially, to correct the child's behaviour. The parent has to accept responsibility for that. Not you.

Dating Tip 8 - Don't Try To Bribe The Kid
Bribery is what people do when they don't have the skill to articulate their position and influence people. You are skilled and you are intelligent (You're reading my articles aren't you? That's a clear sign of intelligence! :-) )! You don't need to resort to bribery. Besides, bribery is rarely a solution that solves anything. In fact, it creates more problems because the kid now knows that they can push your buttons and get stuff.

Dating Tip 9 - Don't Get Upset Or Angry If The Child Doesn't Seem To Respond To You In What You Consider To Be A Timely Manner
It is not up to you to determine when or if the child/children should start responding to you and liking you. Kids have their own issues that are important to them. It has nothing to do with you. Don't set time limits for the child. This child is not your child and they have to come around when they come around - not one second or minute before.

Dating Tip 10 - Don't Do Things To Make The Child Feel That They Can't Trust You
If the child tells you something in confidence and it is a secret that you can keep (allegations of abuse or neglect are examples of secrets you should not keep), then keep it to yourself. If you run and tell the parent you are dating everything the child says, you may not be able to establish a relationship of trust. If you are in a situation where you want to tell the parent you are dating, then ask the child if this is ok first. You may intend to do it anyway, but asking makes the kid feel like they have some control - even if they don't. Building trust sometimes requires that you manage things the child tells you in confidence.

Dating Tip 11 - Don't Make Fun Of Any Issues The Child May Have Or May Be Experiencing
If the child has an issue or has developed an issue like bed wetting, don't make fun of the child. Problems like this are typically symptomatic of a bigger issue going on in the child's mind. Making fun of the child will only drive more of a wedge between you and the child. It will also lead to the child feeling additional resentment toward you.

Dating Tip 12 - Don't Interrupt During Times When The Child Is Trying To Connect With The Child You Are Dating
Give the person you are dating time to spend time with their child/children without you. You don't need to be involved in everything the child is doing with the person you are dating. Give them their space. Let them connect and draw strength from each other. Remember, security is the name of the game for children. Give the person you are dating time to provide that for their child. If the person you are dating wants to include the other parent, then you should respect that as well. Although you are in the picture, you were not in the picture when that child was created. That child has two parents and if one or both of those parents wants to spend time with the child at the same time, it isn't your place to try to interject yourself into that time. Step back and trust your relationship with the person you are dating.

Dating Tip 13 - Don't Be Mean To The Child
Children are sensitive. Even though they may be mean to you, it is often difficult for them to handle you being mean to them. When you are, it reinforces their feelings of mistrust for you and makes them want to avoid you even more. Don't fall into this trap. Treat the child with kindness no matter what they say or do. It is your job to be the mature, responsible adult. Remember that a kind answer turns away wrath in almost every case.

Dating Tip 14 - Don't Try To Keep The Non Custodial Parent From Interacting With The Child
Again, this isn't your place. If the child wants a relationship with the non-custodial parent, that is between the two parents and the child - not you. The child is trying to get through the situation mentally, they don't need you adding to their stress. Step back and let the person you are dating handle their child with the other parent.

Dating Tip 15 - Don't Ignore The Rules Of The Custodial Parent
If you are dating the custodial parent, don't ignore the custodial parent's rules to make the kid like you. This damages the parent/child bond. You have to remember that you are the adult. You can't start breaking the rules that the custodial parent has in place in the hope that the child/children will like you. Instead, work on being a friend and listening to their issues. If you do continue to overstep your place, the custodial parent may end the relationship with you. I know I would.

It can be difficult being around a child that doesn't want you around their mother or father, but you have to put in the time and effort to build trust. You have to work to establish a relationship with that child and the only way to do it is by showing kindness, maturity and patience.

Written By Kila Morton

10 Ways To Maintain A Long Distance Relationship

The Dating Tips Magazine — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Sometimes dating someone in a long distance relationship can drive you crazy, however, making a long distance relationship work doesn't have to be a hard ordeal. With a little bit of effort and a lot of imagination and ingenuity, you can make your long distance relationship into something beautiful. So how can you keep that long distance spark raging while you work your way toward your long distance love?

Dating Tip 1 - Take Pictures & Post Them Online
With the advent of sites like Flickr, you have been given a fantastic opportunity to share your photos with other people. It is a simple site to use and, perhaps most importantly, it's free! Take pictures of yourself and load them onto Flickr. After you load your pictures, ask the person you are dating to do the same. Now you have an online collection of images of your love!

Dating Tip 2 - Call Just To Say "I Miss You"
Sometimes you get busy and preoccupied. However, when you are in a long distance relationship, you have to go above and beyond to let your someone special know that they mean the world to you. Placing a phone call that only lasts a few seconds can mean the difference between a happy day and an unhappy day for the person you are dating.

Dating Tip 3 - Send Gifts To Your Dates Job
Sending a special gift to the person you care about will make them feel very special. Take some time and send something special. Instead of flowers, send an edible "floral" arrangement. Not only are they edible, they are also beautiful.

Dating Tip 4 - Write The Person You Are Dating Some Special Poetry
If you are creative and enjoy writing poetry, write some special poetry for the person you are dating and mail it to them. This will provide a special little pick me up for them.

Dating Tip 5 - Burn A CD Of Love Songs That Have Special Meaning For The Both Of You
Creating a CD is easy and simple. Take some time and make a CD for your special someone with music that is special for the both of you. This will not only make the person you are dating feel special, it will also immortalize your favorite love songs for you.

Dating Tip 6 - Send Special ECards And Actual Cards
Make sure that you send cards to the person you care about just to let them know that you are thinking of them. Cards give them something to look at when you aren't around. Make them beautiful and special. Choose cards that really reflect what you think about your relationship.

Dating Tip 7 - Schedule Time To Talk To Each Other
Schedule a special time when you can talk to each other. This way neither of you will feel pressure to talk to each other all the time and you can save all of your great conversation for your special time.

Dating Tip 8 - Be Respectful Of The Person You Are With - Don't Get Made With Them If They Don't Call
Sometimes people get tired. It is a fact of life. If you are in a long distance relationship, there will inevitably be times when you feel like talking and the person you are dating doesn't. During these times, don't get angry and don't try to make them feel guilty for being tired. If you care about the person, then you should want them to be rested and at peace. Don't act like a nut if they miss a phone call due to sleep or if they tell you they don't feel like talking. Acting crazy when they can't talk to you is a guaranteed way to make them question if dating you is a good idea. In some cases, they will end the relationship so they don't have to deal with the hassle.

Dating Tip 9 - Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
Arguing over small issues when you are doing the long distance dating thing can turn a long distance relationship really bad really quickly. Don't do it. Make every conversation as good as it can possibly be.

Dating Tip 10 - Visit when You Can
Visiting everyday may not be possible, but, visiting when you can helps to take the edge of a long distance relationship. Put in the effort and go to visit the person you are dating. If possible, the person you are dating should reciprocate so that neither of you gets tired of making the trip.

A long distance relationship can lead to a beautiful long term relationship. In order for it to get that far, you have to put in some extra special effort. If the person you are dating is worth the effort, take time to go that extra mile to let the person know you are the apple of their eye.

Written By Kila Morton

10 Ways To Handle Getting Herpes And Telling Someone You Have It

The Dating Tips Magazine — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Discovering that you have a sexually transmitted disease can be a very traumatic experience. Your mind starts racing with questions. You ask yourself how you could this be happening to you, who should you tell, how do you tell them. Sometimes, as you deal with the answers to these questions, you start to become filled with anger and rage. These feelings are often exacerbated if you are in a situation where the STD you have is not curable. Finding out that you have an STD that is not curable raises a host of other questions and a lot of fear. From medication to help suppress or manage what you have, to dealing with how your new STD may destroy your body, to your dating future, to feeling isolated and alone - all of these things are now issues you have to face. With all of the anger and fear you feel, how can you begin to pick up the pieces and get yourself together? Believe it or not, you are not the first person to go through this situation and there are ways to handle things that can make the situation tolerable for you.

Don't Panic Because It Is Not the End Of The World
You may be feeling horrible about finding out that you have herpes. You may be feeling like you should just end it all now. Slow down and calm down. You are not alone by any means. Herpes Simplex 1 is one of the most common viral infections in the world. Most people get this virus that causes the majority of cold sores when they are children. If this is what you have, you aren't unusual by any means. While everyone doesn't have it, it's common enough that you shouldn't feel like your life is over. Herpes Simplex 2, while not as prevalent, mainly transmitted by sexual interaction and occurring primarily in teenagers and adults, is not as common as Herpes Simplex 1, it is still a common STD. Don't allow yourself to feel so overwhelmed that you start thinking suicidal thoughts. This may seem bigger than life, but it isn't. There are approximately 100 million Americans with some form of herpes and they are all out there living their lives and doing what they have to do. Join them. Don't let something like herpes take your life away. Herpes isn't a great thing to have, but it's not the end of the world either.

Recognize That Telling Your Partners Is The Right Thing To Do
You feel bad about getting herpes. You wouldn't want someone else to feel the same way would you? You need to be honest about your positive status. You may be feeling fear and apprehension, but you need to face things head on and just be honest about the issues you are facing. It doesn't make you a bad person or a worthless person. You are a normal human being with normal emotions that just needs to be honest about something that's less than perfect in your life. It's OK. Honesty is the best policy. Dishonesty will end up having you trying to scramble for excuses when you have an outbreak or running scared every time your partner touches you. Don't live your life with this type of guilt. Be honest and let people make their own choices. Don't take away some ones choice just because someone took away yours. Two wrongs don't make a right, they make more infected people.

Don't Allow Anyone To Make You Feel Ashamed
Herpes Simplex 1 is extremely common in America, Japan, Europe and most other major countries. You are not alone. It may seem like a tremendous deal because it's happening to you, but, the reality is that its far more common than you think. According to the CDC, genital herpes caused by the Herpes Simplex 2 virus affects at least 45 million people ages 12 and older or one out of five adolescents and adults. Those are just the estimates for genital herpes caused by herpes simplex 2. As for the herpes simplex 1 virus, which is the typical cause of cold sores on the mouth, by the time 90% of Americans reach adulthood, they have antibodies to herpes simplex 1, which means that they were exposed to the virus. The majority of people with herpes simplex 1 were exposed while they were children.
Do you know what this means? This means that you are not alone. Don't let anyone make you feel like you should be ashamed of yourself. Herpes infections happen to good people, bad people, people of all races and people from all socio-economic backgrounds. Don't let anyone tell you anything different or make you feel less than because you are positive for this virus.
Discuss The Matter Face To Face Rather Than Over The Phone Or Electronically
It may be hard to face the person you are dating and tell them that you have herpes, but it must be done. Instead of cowering in fear over the phone, face the situation head on and discuss it with your partner honestly face to face. This lets your partner know that you understand how serious it is, allows you to gauge how they are feeling about the issue and allows you to comfort them if they get upset.

Even If You Aren't Going To Have Sex With Someone You Should Still Be Honest If You Are In A Long Term Relationship
You may be thinking that you should keep this virus a secret if you don't intend to have sex with them. You shouldn't do this. The truth is that people with herpes simplex 1 and 2 can shed the virus even when they don't have an outbreak. With herpes simplex 1 outbreaks that typically occur on your lips, this means that you can pass the virus on to someone just by kissing due to the virus being in your saliva - without an outbreak. Wrestlers can pass the virus on to other wrestlers by touching open areas on the skin when wrestling (herpes gladiatorum ). Others can pass the virus on if they have outbreaks on their fingers (herpetic whitlow). There are many, many ways to transmit the virus and you should be honest so that both of you can protect each other.

Don't Get Angry If The Person You Are Dating Gets Upset
This person is just finding out that someone they care about has something that is incurable and that they may have already been exposed to it. Give them time to get angry and calm down. It doesn't make them a bad person to experience those emotions. It makes them human. Give them a chance to go through the full range of their emotions without you getting upset. Remember that they are hearing this for the first time. The initial reaction may be shock and anger. This is OK. Don't you respond by getting angry with them. They need time to process things.

If You Decide To Wait To Tell Your Partner Don't Wait Until They Are Ready To Have Sex To Say Something
Although telling them prior to sexual relations is a good thing, telling them at a point when they are looking forward to being with you sexually can have a lasting impact and cause them to think about having sex with you in a very negative way. Don't create that mental association for them. Make sure that you tell them at a time when you are not amorous. Also, try to avoid telling them in a bedroom setting. Again this creates a mental picture for them that they will remember for a very long time.

If Possible, Have Some Printed Information To Give Them To Read
People may have preconceived ideas about the type of people that get herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2. Often this is a result of ignorance. Having medical information on hand will help your partner understand more about the virus itself, it's transmission rates, it's commonality and how to protect himself or herself if they decide to stay in a relationship with you. A little bit of knowledge goes a long way. You can visit the CDC website for more information.

Get Valtrex Or Another Drug To Help Manage And Prevent Outbreaks
You are about to go on a date and out pops a cold sore. If you have one of the antiviral medications in your corner, this may be a thing of the past. A lot of people don't get antiviral medication unless they have a serious outbreak or many outbreaks. This could be a mistake. If you have one outbreak every so often or many outbreaks regularly, having a medication like Valtrex on hand will go a long way in helping you to handle that outbreak and it will lessen the severity of future outbreaks. You can take Valtrex in one of two ways. You can either go on suppressive therapy which effectively prevents outbreaks or you can simply take a strong dose of Valtrex at the first sign of an outbreak which can possibly stop the outbreak from happening, lessen the severity of the outbreak and lessen the occurrences and severity of future outbreaks. Typically, people with herpes simplex 2 which causes the majority of genital herpes, take suppressive therapy. However, keeping Valtrex on hand for the occasional outbreak can't hurt. Talk with your doctor about this and let your doctor explain the benefits to you.

Prepare Yourself For Rejection But Don't Get Angry
Like it or not, some people may just not want to be with you anymore. This doesn't mean that you are a bad person. It just means that they may feel that they cannot deal with your issue. It's OK. Some people are going to react this way and some aren't. You have to prepare yourself either way and know that there is still hope for you to find someone who will love you and care about you despite the fact that you have herpes. Don't feel like your world is over just because one person doesn't want to date you. Many people around the world have herpes and many more care about and are willing to care about those that do.

Getting herpes is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of your life. With careful management and diligence you can go on and live a very happy existence with whomever you decide to be with. Don't think you have to crawl into a cave and hide. By communicating openly and honestly with your partner and by making sure that you get medical care for yourself and protect your immune system, you will likely end up living a long and happy life. Give yourself a chance to find that out and communicate honestly with those around you.

Written By Kila Morton

Ask K Questions And Answers - She plays games...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

What do you do when a woman you are dating plays too many games?

	I am dating a woman that is doing something that is absolutely driving me insane. She plays video games in her spare time. She doesn't have any hobbies outside of playing video games. She plays them before she goes to work, during her lunch break, in the evenings, on the weekends. She has every game system known to man. She doesn't want to go out to dinner or plays or the movies. She just wants to play video games. She is driving me crazy. It has come to the point where we aren't having sex because she is playing video games all of the time. What do I do? - All Played Out In CA

	The lady you are dating needs professional help. She probably doesn't think she does so there is likely nothing you can do to stop her from playing her video games. She has to come to her own "rock bottom" as far as the games are concerned. The only thing you can do is to suggest help to her. If she doesn't want to go then you have a decision to make. There is someone for everyone. If you don't want to play games all the time, then she obviously isn't the one for you.

View Past Ask K Questions & Answers Have A Question? Submit It Here

The 10 Main Reasons Why Women Cheat On Men

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Understanding the reasons that a woman cheats can be very difficult if you aren't tuned into what women are typically after in a relationship. Women just don't cheat for the same reasons that men do. For all of you guys out there trying to figure out why your woman cheated on you, read this article and get a clue. Make sure you pay attention to the mistakes you made in the past or you may be doomed to repeat those mistakes in the future. Tune into your woman or she may tune out to you. Now before you read this list, I want to remind you of one thing. There are only two kinds of people in this world - people who cheat and people who don't. We are talking about the type of women that would here - not the women that wouldn't. It is accurate to say that this is a list of reasons why a woman would cheat if she is the kind that would cheat, however, you need to keep in mind that people can often feel forced into particular things and cheating is no different.

Dating Tip 1 - Time - You Weren't Spending Enough Time With Her When women are in relationships, they want to spend time with the person they care about. They hate to feel lonely. They equate the amount of time you spend with them with the level of care you feel for them. If you don't spend time with them, they start feeling lonely and they start feeling like you don't care. Your neglect coupled with her anger leaves an opening for infidelity on her part. All it takes is the right person to come along and start paying attention to her. If she is the cheating type, once that other man or woman :-) comes along she is going to go for them and cheat on you.

Dating Tip 2 - Amount Of Sex - You Weren't Having Sex With Her Enough Women equate your desire to have sex with her with the amount of care you feel about her. They do this even if they keep telling you no. The minute you stop asking for it, there is going to be a problem.

Dating Tip 3 - Bad Sex - You Are Having Really Bad Sex With Her Women aren't stupid. You may think that your two minute magic is wonderful and exciting, but, she doesn't. Women need more than just bad sex, low energy and no excitement in the bedroom. Men forget that there are other things besides a penis that can help to please a woman. If you are a two minute man, there are things you can do and help you can get for yourself. If you don't, you are being selfish because there are two people in the relationship and one of them isn't being satisfied. Make sure you are taking her needs into account. Kiss more, ramp up your energy in the bedroom, do other things more, get into her when you are intimate and make her know that she is the only one for you.

Dating Tip 4 - Control - You Were Too Controlling Believe it or not, women need freedom. If you are extremely controlling, trying to stop her from talking to her friends and trying to stop her from doing different things, she will be waiting to get out and be free and in control. All it takes is someone who understands what she is going through with you. It's sad to say, but, your controlling ways will do more to chase her away than it will do to keep her.

Dating Tip 5 - Communication - You Didn't Spend Time Communicating With Her (Notice I didn't say talking to - I said communicating with) Women need to be communicated with. Communication provides a level of intimacy for a woman in a relationship. Women have to have communication with the person they are with to feel whole in the relationship. If you aren't doing that she is going to feel incomplete. When that happens, if she is the type that would cheat, then that is what she is going to do. She is going to try to get something from someone else that she can't get from you.

Dating Tip 6 - Romance - You Aren't Romantic Women love to feel romance in their relationship with their partner. When they don't feel that romance and that passion in their relationship, they start being open to cheating with someone that offers them that excitement, romance and passion. If you don't know how to be romantic then you need to open a book and start reading. Don't be ashamed if you don't know how. Many men don't. The key is that you don't decide to stay ignorant about romance. Read up on the different ways to be romantic with the woman you want to be with.

Dating Tip 7 - Boredom - Your Relationship Is Boring A boring relationship is a recipe for infidelity. Your mind starts to wander and sometimes you end up doing things you wouldn't do normally. If you and your woman are stuck in a rut and things are very dull and boring between the two of you, find a way to spice things up. Vary your routine. Communicate with her about it and resolve to take care of this before it turns into her cheating on you.

Dating Tip 8 - Desirability - You Don't Make Her Feel Like A Woman Men sometimes don't realize how much women need validation. When she puts on that red dress she wants and needs to hear you say that you think she looks great. When she gets her hair done, she needs you to notice and comment on how nice it looks. Women need to feel that their man desires them. Over time, men stop saying those little sweet things that women need to hear. You start seeing the woman you are with as a fixture in your life. The 'new car' effect wears off. What is the new car effect? When you get a new car you are excited about it. Every time that you see it, you comment to yourself on how beautiful it is. You tell your friends and your family. Then there comes a point where you stop doing that and the car becomes a fixture in your life. It isn't new anymore. All too often, men do the same thing in their relationships. When someone else comes along and starts making her feel like a woman again, she is going to eat that up and cheat on you.

Dating Tip 9 - Emotional Connection - You Don't Confide In Her, Bond With Her Or Connect With Her On An Emotional Level That's a lot right? The thing is that not connecting to the woman you are with leaves her feeling like you aren't being open with her. Some guys have a hard time opening up to people. The problem with that is that women need this type of connection. They need to feel like you trust her with your heart and soul. Without it, women don't feel connected with you and that could lead to the woman you are with looking for that connection outside of the relationship.

Dating Tip 10 - Attention - You Don't Pay Attention To Her A lot of men think that this means that you have to make the woman you are with the center of attention. That's not what this means. It means that you need to treat her like she is something special to you and pay attention to who she is and what is going on in her life. Women need to know that you know that they are there. Pay attention to her. Ask her how her day was. Kiss her and touch her when you see her without looking for sex. Let her know through your actions that what has been happening in her life matters to you. If you don't, you are asking for trouble.

This may seem like a long list of things to have to do to keep a woman faithful, but it really isn't. These are some of the basic elements that any person wants in a relationship; communication, intimacy, attention, romance, etc. Women may need more of these things than a man might, but, being in a relationship means trying to balance her needs with what you are willing to give. Spending time focusing on the things that will make her happy is a recipe for a good relationship.

Written By Kila Morton

12 Things Not To Say On A First Date

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Many of us sabotage our dates without even realizing it. There are certain things that just should not come out of your mouth if you are on a first or second date with someone. Often, after talking to someone on the phone and seeing them in person, we start feeling really comfortable and free. We let our guard down and we start exposing the innermost parts of ourselves. Sometimes this can be great if the other person reciprocates, but more often than not, it turns out to be too much too soon. The problem is that people we are dating very often don't give us feedback that could help us refine our conversational skills. Instead, they disappear into the never ending ocean of forgotten dates without saying a word - never to be heard from again. So instead of waiting for feedback that will never come, look at this article and take a hint.

Dating Tip 1 - Don't Tell Your Date That You Love Them On The First Date
Nothing is guaranteed to send your date running for the hills quicker than a misplaced I love you on the first date. It is understandable that you may feel a connection with the person you are on a date with. It is completely not understandable to tell them that you are in love with them. Why? The fact that you don't know the person well is one great big reason. Just think about it. Your date is likely thinking that if you fall in love that easy, then it stands to reason that you will fall in love with multiple people just as quickly. To put it bluntly, it makes you look crazy when you say something like this. If you think you love the person, keep it to yourself. No one wants to or should hear it at such an early point in a dating relationship.

Dating Tip 2 - Don't Tell Your Date How You Have Cheated In All Of Your Past Relationships
This may be true, but this is a tremendous turn off. Why would anyone think you are going to be faithful to them if you have cheated on every person you have been with? This is like saying, "Hi! I am going to cheat on you because it's what I do. Please date me!" What? It's not going to happen. You are probably going to get the date disappearing act performed on you. The alternative is that the person decides that you aren't relationship material and decides to use you for sex. If that's what you want then fine. If it's not, then keep your mouth closed about how much you've cheated. I'm not saying you should lie if asked, but don't volunteer something that is an absolute negative.

Dating Tip 3 - Don't Curse Excessively While On Your Date
This may be attractive in bad B movies, but, it is not attractive when you are sitting across from your date. If you typically pepper your conversation with various four letter words, that's fine. When you are on a date, it's simply bad form. Being a potty mouth may be who you are, but, being selective about how you carry yourself on a date will go a long way towards getting you to date number two.

Dating Tip 4 - Don't Start Describing Your Perfect Mate While On Your Date
So many people make this mistake. The only problem is that the person you are dating may not be what you verbally describe. After having you articulate your wants and desires, why would a person who knows that they may not be everything you want stick around? The answer is they won't. Unless you are ready for your date to interpret your list of wants in a mate as a personal attack, keep your list of wants to yourself.

Dating Tip 5 - Don't Talk Negatively About Your Past Relationships While On Your Date
You may think that you are making general conversation. People listening to you are thinking that you are a negative person. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. If you talk about your ex this way, what would stop you from talking about them in the same way? It is very difficult to trust a person that talks about people this way. Do yourself a favor and keep attacks on your ex out of your conversation.

Dating Tip 6 - Don't Be Rude To The Wait Staff If You Go To A Restaurant While On Your Date
It constantly amazes me that there are people who are rude to waiters and waitresses. Why oh why would you be rude and nasty to someone who is handling your food? I have ended dates because of this. I don't expect people to be any better than myself. I know what I would do to the food of someone who was rude and nasty to me. I pretty much expect the same of other people. If you like to be rude to waiters and waitresses, then you are asking for the dating dump off. I would give it to you if I was out on a date with you and you were nasty to the wait staff and I know I am not alone.

Dating Tip 7 - Don't Continually Answer Your Cell Phone While On Your Date
While you are on your date you should turn your phone on vibrate. This shows consideration to the person you are dating. A continually ringing phone is both an annoyance and a red flag. If the cell phone of someone I'm dating continually rings, I am going to question what is going on in this person's life. I am going to want to know who is calling like a lunatic and I am going to be alarmed if you keep responding to the calls. Trust me when I say that I am not unusual.

Dating Tip 8 - Don't Talk Excessively About Sex On Your Date
If you just want sex then ignore this. If you are looking for someone who might be the one, then keep the sex talk to yourself for now. It is very hard to take someone seriously if they are running on and on about sex on a first date. Like it or not, we tend to categorize and prioritize people when we meet them. If you are the type that talks about sex on a first date, then you get categorized and prioritized accordingly. You aren't going to be the first person your date thinks of when they start thinking about people to seriously get involved with. Leave the sex talk off the table for now.

Dating Tip 9 - Don't Talk About Any Negative Physical Features Your Date May Have
If you don't like your date's ears, keep it to yourself. There is nothing that your date can do about their ears at the moment, therefore it is a comment that is not worth making. If you feel your date is overweight, then that is another thing you should keep to yourself. Freckles, skin color, hair style, feet and whatever else. If your date can't change things right away then why would you want to say something and hurt their feelings? Now if they ask you something, you should be honest but not brutal. You can answer their questions without being a jerk, but talking about your date's negative physical features is just pointless. If you don't like the way they look, then don't date them again. For the time being, stay quiet, be nice and don't be a jerk with them.

Dating Tip 10 - Don't Talk About All Of Your Medical Problems While You Are On A Date
Unless your date is a medical doctor, this is personal information that should be kept to yourself until and unless you get to know your date. Even if your date is a medical doctor, a date is not the time to unload about your medical history. Save that for the exam room.

Dating Tip 11 - Don't Talk Excessively
You want to spend time getting to know the person you are dating. That is going to be impossible if you keep running your mouth. A conversation is a give and take deal. You talk, your date talks, you talk, your date talks. That's how things should work. If you aren't giving your date a chance to talk, it is likely that they will take the opportunity to talk AFTER your date. The only problem is that it will be with other people and about you.

Dating Tip 12 - Don't Spend The Entire Date Complaining About Your Problems
Doing this is a sure way to never hear from the person you are dating again. There are some people that like to hear other people complain continually. I personally don't know any. Do yourself a favor and keep your complaints to yourself. Call your best friend after the date and complain to them if you can't keep your complaints to yourself, but don't involve your date.

Take time to think about the things you do before you go out on a date and you may find your dates to not only be more enjoyable, you may also find that you have more dates. Finding someone great starts with making yourself great. These 12 dating tips will help you along that path.

Written By Kila Morton

5 Reasons To End The Relationship When Someone Cheats On You

The Dating Tips Magazine — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

When faced with confirmation that we are dating someone that is cheating, some people are on the fence about if they should or should not leave relationship. There may be children involved or financial issues that make the idea of leaving your relationship a thought that needs to be well thought out. The problem is that staying with a cheater is like standing on a sinking boat. You may decide that you should leave, but, you may be questioning your decision. If you are questioning if you should leave someone who has cheated on you, there are some very important things you should think about while you are coming to terms with what you need to do. It may seem like a hard choice, but, it really isn't. You either want to be with someone that is going to cheat on you or you don't. If you are considering staying with someone that is not 100% faithful to you, make sure you are willing to deal with all of the things that could possibly come with that. Here are some of the reasons to pack your things and run away from the person that cheated on you ASAP.

Dating Tip 1 - Diseases For some reason, a lot of people forget that there are diseases around that can't be cured. They cheat without wearing condoms and then go home and sleep with the 'main' person they are dating. Herpes, genital warts, AIDS - not to even mention all of the diseases you can get that are curable, but not something that you want to get. Who wants to walk around playing itchy and scratchy in their underwear? Who wants to walk around while their private parts are leaking like a faucet? Dealing with someone that is a cheater means exposing yourself to all kinds of diseases and disorders. Think about your personal safety and make sure that you are willing to accept the possibility that you may end up with an incurable disease all because you wanted to hold on to someone that wants to cheat.

Dating Tip 2 - Exposing You To Potentially Crazy People People never think that people are going to snap and go off and do something stupid and crazy like shoot people they are angry with. Yet, this is something that happens everyday. Don't be arrogant enough to think that the person your mate cheated with will just go away. Everyday people make the mistake of thinking that once the cheating has been uncovered, they are going to go on to be with the person who cheated. The sad reality is that plenty of people have died by thinking this way. Sometimes it's the jilted lover that decides to kill their 'rival' and sometimes it's the cheater that decides that they want to be with the person they cheated with without dealing with the principal person they were involved with or they want to get rid of the person they cheated with so they can go on with the principal person they were involved with. If you don't believe it, just spend an evening watching Forensic Files or reading the Forensic File stories. Crazy people happen and keeping yourself involved in the situation can be potentially dangerous. It's best to move on and start fresh elsewhere.

Dating Tip 3 - Exposing Your Children To A Dysfunctional Relationship People have a strange way of looking at things when they find out someone they are with is a cheater. This is especially true if the person has children and is married to or living with the person who cheated. People like that tell themselves that they are going to stick it out for the kids and hang in there to preserve the family. However, what example are you showing your children? What are you teaching them? What you are showing them is how to accept anything a person does to them. You may tell yourself that you are teaching them forgiveness, but, what you are showing them is complacency. You may think you are teaching them how to love, but what you are showing them is dysfunction. If you stay in a situation just because you have kids and show your kids a relationship without verbal, physical and emotional affection your kids are going to grow up thinking that what they see is the way things should be. They are going to think that abuse (I hope you do realize that cheating is abuse!) is normal. Is that really the message you want to send - just smile, hold the pain inside and stay in a relationship with a cheater?

Dating Tip 4 -The Message You Are Sending The Cheater A lot of people think that they are doing something when they tell the cheater that they will leave if the cheater cheats again. They think that the cheaters seemingly heartfelt and sincere apologies make some sort of difference. The truth is that it doesn't. We all teach people how to deal with us. We teach them how to respond to us. When you get upset and then take the cheater back or stay with the cheater, you are showing them that you are willing to accept the crap that they offer. You may think that you taught them a lesson and you have them under control again and they are never going to do anything like that again. However, you sent the cheater a message. The message was if you cheat on me, act real sorry, apologize over and over and get rid of the person you cheated with, I will forgive you. Cheaters are like criminals - they get better at covering their tracks with each affair they commit. You are going to have a harder time figuring it out and they are going to keep doing it. After all, if you do find out, what are you going to do - get mad, accept an apology and allow the cheater to do it all over again? Is that really the message you want to send?

Dating Tip 5 - The Inability To Ever Truly Trust The Person You Are With Again The truth of the matter is that your mate's cheating went on and you didn't know it before. There is absolutely no reason to think that it won't happen again. You may think that you know everything you need to know, but, there is the distinct possibility that you don't. Many men and women think that they KNOW the reasons for their mates cheating and they KNOW what will stop it and they KNOW that their mate doesn't care about the person they were cheating with. This is an example of KNOWING too much for your own good. People that cheat are masters of deception. They aren't necessarily a master at covering up deception, but they are masters at fooling themselves about what they are doing and the usually deep seated reasons why they are doing it. You aren't able to control or stop what they are doing. Only they can control their cheating and most of the time they aren't willing to stop it - even if they proclaim their sorrow at hurting you and profess that they won't do it again. The sad truth is that just because they haven't left you and instead chose to cheat doesn't mean that they don't care about the person they were cheating with. It means that they may realize that they can have what they want without giving up what they need. What does this mean?

People that cheat typically like relationship security even though their actions are security deal-breakers. Instead of losing that security, they will lie to keep themselves secure and go after what they want - even though they may feel that what they want may not be completely safe or secure. Often they don't stay with you because they are so in love with you that they can't leave, they instead stay because their relationship with you is what they know. They know the limits that they can push the relationship to and still feel safe. Is that what you really want? Someone that stays with you because they feel that they can do what they want, apologize and get away with it? I don't even know you, but, I can tell you that you want something more. Stop being a floor mat and go get that something more.

Written By Kila Morton

How To Handle Yourself When You Have To See An Ex You Just Broke Up With Everyday

The Dating Tips Magazine — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

You just broke up with someone you were dating. It seemed like it would last forever. Unfortunately for you, forever came sooner than you expected. Now you not only have to deal with breaking up with someone you care about, you also have to deal with repairing your heart and moving on. Those things are difficult enough, but, how are you supposed to accomplish those things if you still have to see the person you were dating? Maybe you take classes with the person. Maybe you work with the person. Maybe the person lives close to you. No matter what the reason, if you are going to be seeing the person you have just broken up with, you need to develop a game plan so you can handle yourself well when you see your ex and so you can heal at the same time.

Dating Tip 1 - Don't Continually Display Anger Every Time You See Your Ex
You may want to kick your ex every time you see him or her, but, the only thing this will get you is a swift visit to the 'plush' accommodations of your local police department. Instead, a better approach is to not say anything to your ex when you see them. This way neither of you feels like you have to be fake or phony with each other.

Dating Tip 2 - Don't Say Bad Things About Your Ex To People Who Know The Both Of You
It may be natural to want people to empathize with you, however, talking bad about your ex isn't the way to make that happen. It may be tempting, but talking bad about your ex will just create animosity between the two of you and he may start doing the same to you.

Dating Tip 3 - Don't Keep Trying To Talk To Your Ex About Why You Broke Up When You See Them
Most people don't get the chance to speak to their ex everyday. Most people wouldn't want to even if they could. If, however, you are one of the few that still feels that you have something relevant to say to this person, don't do it every time you see them. Leave them alone. It's over and both of you know it. Give yourself and your ex a break.

Dating Tip 4 - If You Can't Handle Seeing Your Ex You Should Leave
Sometimes it's not possible to stay away from your ex if you have to see them everyday, however, you have to look out for you. If it is just too much for you, you may need to leave. Take another class, get another job or work in another division or move if you need to. Don't stay if you really can't handle staying. You may need time to heal and, if you do, seeing the person everyday is not going to help you. Leave if you need to.

Dating Tip 5 - Prepare Yourself For Seeing Your Ex With Someone New
This may or may not be a concern for you if you are the one that did the breaking up, but, you need to prepare yourself for seeing your ex with someone new. If you aren't prepared, you may end up with a completely ruined day when it happens.

Dating Tip 6 - If Your Ex Is Violent, Do What You Have To Do To Stay Away From Them
If your ex is a violent person, you have to do what you can to protect yourself. If that means leaving your job or whatever, then you have to do it. You may feel like you want to stay and see things through, but, having your ex come around and try to kill you isn't much fun. Therefore, you need to take their violent tendencies seriously and move on.

Getting over an ex is hard. Getting over an ex that you see every single day is harder. The good thing is that you don't have to make things harder on yourself by overreacting every time you see them. Control yourself and make sure that you aren't placing yourself in danger by seeing your ex on a daily basis. Break ups can really take their toll on a person's heart and mind. If seeing your ex proves to be too much for you, know when to throw in the towel and move on.

Written By Kila Morton

Custom Tees - Tell The Whole World You Are In Love!

The Dating Tips Magazine — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 07:06:40 +0000

What is a great way to tell the whole world that you are madly in love? Put your best foot forward to showcase your love with the person you are dating. How can you do this? With custom made t shirts. Put pictures on them, words of love or anything else you want.

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Written By Kila Morton

10 Turn-Offs That Husbands And Wives Should Stop Doing

The Dating Tips Magazine — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

It never fails. After a few years of marriage (sometimes sooner), people start feeling really comfortable with their spouses. This is a good thing. However, even too much of a good thing can turn into a bad thing. How could something so right turn into something so wrong? It's simple. Over time married people become so comfortable with each other that they stop trying to be beautiful, they stop trying to be politically correct and they stop trying to hide any of their bad traits. If both people start behaving this way, things may be OK. The problem is that it rarely happens that way. In most cases, one spouse starts doing this and the other does not. This creates a situation where the person who has not changed may start to see the other differently. What are some of the things that spouses do that can turn their mates completely off?

Dating Tip 1 - Consistently Breaking Wind or Passing Gas Around Your Spouse Most of us have gas at one point or another in our lives. It's a fact of life. When you get married, gas doesn't divorce us. We still may have gas. The thing is that you have to be considerate of the person you are with. You can go into another room or go to the bathroom. Gas doesn't smell good. It is a definite turn-off. Spare your mate the pleasure and keep this call of nature to yourself. It may inconvenience you if you are, for instance, watching TV, but, please consider the person you are with and how your gas affects them. There are also medical treatments that can help if this is really a problem for you.

Dating Tip 2 - Not Washing Your Private Parts Everyday It's the weekend and you don't have anything to do. Getting up and taking a shower isn't on your agenda. You just want to lay around all day and watch TV and eat. This is fine, but, you need to wash yourself. Humans are extremely smelly creatures when we aren't clean. Going a day or two without washing your private areas can leave you smelling like hell on earth. That may be an extreme statement, but it is completely true. No one wants to smell that and it is surely a complete and total turn-off. Think about it like this. Would you want to have sex with someone that stinks? Most people don't want to. Do your husband or your wife a favor and wash your body EVERYDAY - even if you aren't going anywhere!

Dating Tip 3 - Wearing That Old Unattractive Robe Or Those Panties/Boxers With The Holes In Them People want to see their mates as attractive. Wearing unattractive robes and underwear is a turn off. You may think that it's oh so comfortable and it might be, but, you need to make sure that you are still being stylish for your mate.

Dating Tip 4 - Not Doing Your Hair You may think that keeping your hair standing on end is cute, but, it really isn't. People want to still see their spouse as sexy and desirable. Seeing you with your hair standing on end a few times isn't a big deal, but when you start to do it all the time you start changing how your spouse looks at you. This happens even when your spouse doesn't want to start thinking about you differently. They can't help it. Do yourself a favor. Comb your hair everyday and make yourself look presentable.

Dating Tip 5 - Not Brushing Your Teeth There is a reason that the breath industry is as big as it is. Mints, gum, liquids, spray, paste - there is something for everyone that will help them keep their teeth and breath clean and fresh. People hate to smell bad breath. Your husband or wife is no different. Don't think that they like your bad breath because they are married to you. It isn't true and having bad breath is a complete turn-off. Who wants to kiss someone with nasty, smelly, dirty, stinky breath? The answer is no one.

Dating Tip 6 - Picking Your Toe Nails It is amazing how many people do this around other people. Although you may feel that your nails need to be clipped, picking your toe nails with your hands is just unattractive, unappealing and a turn-off. Can't you get a clipper and clip them instead of picking them with your hands? If you can, you should!

Dating Tip 7 - Wiping Your Nose On Your Shirt Repeat after me - shirts are not tissue. One more time - shirts are not tissue. There is an industry with companies selling a variety of tissues. Tissues with lotion, tissues that are soft, tissues that are hard, tissues that are white and tissues that are colored - there are tissues all around just for your nose. Wiping your nose on your shirt is something we train children not to do. By the time you reach adulthood you should be over this. Watching a wife or a husband do this is unattractive and a turn-off.

Dating Tip 8 - Defecating With The Door Open & Your Spouse Nearby A lot of people consider this to be a sign of trust. Many more people don't. You may think that you trust your mate so much that you want to be completely open, but your poop smells and sounds aren't something that should be shared with the world OR your spouse. Most of the time, seeing something like this and smelling something like that turns their mates completely off. Let's try only sharing our poop with the toilet and leaving our significant others out of it. Everyone will be happier this way.

Dating Tip 9 - Leaving Your Dirty Underwear Laying Around There is no excuse for this one. Dirty underwear is not attractive, nor is it devoid of smells. After a few days, dirty underwear can add a rather unpleasant aroma to the room. Can you say complete turn-off? Instead of putting your dirty underwear some place where people can see and smell them, you may want to consider putting your underwear into a hamper. Don't chase your spouse away with dirty underwear. It's a turn-off.

Dating Tip 10 - Dress Yourself Up Sometime If your spouse only sees you looking like a bum, you are slowly turning them off. I know that you want to be comfortable when you are home. However, it's important to remember that you are sharing your life with someone. They see people looking their best all day. I'm not suggesting that you dress up everyday for your spouse, but you should certainly remember that they want to see the most attractive parts of you sometime. Do you clean yourself up like a new penny when you are about to go out? Why? It's because you want people to see the best side of you. Don't you think your mate wants to see that too? You know they do. Don't leave your spouse trying to remember what you used to look like when you were dressed up. Doing that is a turn-off.

When we get married sometimes we forget that our spouses are human, we forget that they have needs and we forget that it is our responsibility to fulfill those needs. Doing a few simple things can help your spouse to remember how beautiful and fantastic you are and how appealing you are to them. Take some time and make a few changes to help keep those home fires burning.

Written By Kila Morton

Dating Flaw Of The Week: Talking Too Much

The Dating Tips Magazine — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:24:14 +0000

Dating someone that talks too much can really drive a person insane. If you are the one that talks too much, don't be afraid because help is on the way! The first step to solving a problem is recognizing that there is a problem. Obviously, if you are reading this article, we have already got step one down.

Written By Kila Morton

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What Are Dating Flaws

The Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes People Make When Contacting Someone For The First Time

The Dating Tips Magazine — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

When people contact someone through an online dating site for the first time, they often do so with the expectation that the person will contact them back. After all, who wouldn't want to talk to you? You are great...right? You may be wonderful, but, there are a number of 'first contact' mistakes that will often get your message deleted faster than you can say delete. There are some people who will contact you back just because you contacted them, but there are a greater number that will just delete and pretend you don't exist. So what can you do to make sure that your first contact messages don't end up in the rejected, deleted or no-way-in-the-world pile? The answer is to read the 10 online dating first contact mistakes below and then make a few simple changes to your messages that will make all the difference to the people receiving them.

Online Dating Tip 1 - You Didn't Read The Profile Did You?
Your initial message is nice, but, it asks your prospective date questions that you wouldn't be asking if you had read their profile. Take some time and read the profile of the person you are going to contact even if you don't care. If you decide that you still aren't going to read the profile, take the personal questions out and just focus on asking the person to contact you. Most people don't like to feel like you didn't care enough to take the time to read about them, even if they don't know you.

Online Dating Tip 2 - Stop Asking To Meet In Your First Contact Message
If you want to meet someone you see online, don't ask to do so the very first time you contact them. You seem desperate and crazy when you do that. Wait until you have exchanged many messages before asking this. That way you seem interested in getting to know the person you are contacting.

Online Dating Tip 3 - Why Are You Making Off-Color Remarks?
The woman in the picture looks like she has big breasts. In your message to her you let her know that you like the size of her breasts. She never responds. Hmmm.....wonder why? Don't say anything that you wouldn't say face to face. If you would say something like that face to face the very first time you meet someone, then you have another problem. If, however, you are like most people and wouldn't say something like that if you were meeting someone for the first time, then don't say it to them in the first message you send. People don't see things like that as compliments. It's a complete turn-off and there are a lot of options. Don't take yourself out of the running right at the starting line.

Online Dating Tip 4 - Your Profile Says Something Different Than Your Message! Do You Think I'm Stupid?
People who lie often sometimes forget what they say. In the case of online daters, sometimes they forget what they write. If you write in your profile that you are a doctor and then say in your initial contact that you are a sales supervisor. Stop the lies. There is someone for everyone and I don't care if you are a janitor or an executive, there is someone that will care about you and want you no matter what. You would be surprised how far an honest, well-written profile will take you, but, lying to someone you are trying to meet, will take you to delete land.

Online Dating Tip 5 - You Can't Spell, But, A Word Processor Can!
There are a lot of people that just cannot get this whole spelling thing together. That's OK. This is the reason that there are spell checkers in almost every word processing program. If you have a real problem spelling, type your message in a word processor first and then cut and paste it into your profile. Poor spelling makes you look like an idiot. The truth is that you may be an idiot. That's fine. It's OK to be an idiot, it's not OK to look like you are an idiot.

Online Dating Tip 6 - Your Message Makes Absolutely No Sense!
If you know that you can't put together a sentence, ask someone to write your first contact message for you. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Grammar may be your weakness. Don't make it the reason you end up in the delete pile. Hire a professional writer if you are really serious.

Online Dating Tip 7 - Did You Send This Message To Every Person On The Site?
You know who you are. You send messages to anyone and everyone with the thought that at least one person will respond to you. The problem is that your first contact messages are so generic that the person you contacted doesn't view you as serious. You are in competition with a lot of different people. You need to make sure your efforts actually amount to something. Don't waste time trying to contact everyone. You aren't really interested in everyone. Take the time to contact a select few and then see where it goes from there. Personalize your messages and make sure that you aren't just contacting anyone and everyone to see who you can get.

Online Dating Tip 8 - Are You Sending Me The Same Message Again?
Don't keep sending the same message over and over again if the person doesn't respond the first time! If they wanted to communicate with you, they would. Obviously there is something that caused the person not to respond positively to your initial message. Leave the person alone now. If they want to contact you, they will. Sending a person the message more than once is just annoying. Instead, send the message to someone else. You have lots of people to choose from.

Online Dating Tip 9 - You Are Nothing Like What I'm Looking For Even Though I Listed What I Was Looking For In My Profile! You read his profile. He said he wanted a church going woman. You decide to contact him anyway. You send him a message and tell him that you read his profile and you see that he wants a church going woman, but, you think the two of you would have a good time. After all, why should what he wants matter when you want to communicate with him? Red flag, red flag, red flag. This is so disrespectful and it sends sure signs that you are a control freak and inconsiderate. You are almost guaranteed a trip to delete town when you do this. The person has clearly articulated what they want. If you don't fall within their guidelines, then leave them alone and go contact someone else. Don't you think that you have enough options? There are only a million different dating sites out there. Show respect and consideration if you aren't what the person is looking for.

Online Dating Tip 10 - Why Are You Talking About Sex When You Are Contacting Someone For The First Time? Are you crazy? Why would you send a message to someone you don't know that contains sexually explicit talk? You are trying to put your best foot forward. People can get sex anywhere! They don't need you! What do you bring to the table mentally, physically and emotionally? Talking about sex during the first contact you have with someone is crude and low class. If all you want is sex, then tell the person that after they contact you back. Don't start talking about sex just to initiate a conversation. It makes you look like a predator. If you are a predator, then get some help. If you aren't, change your message and make it a quality message. Messages that talk about sex on the first contact get sent to deletesville quick fast and in a hurry.

If you spend a little time trying to look at your messages from the perspective of the receiver you will create better messages. Don't panic if you see things you do on this list. There is hope for you as long as you are willing to make a change. First contact doesn't have to be the last contact unless you do the things listed above.

Written By Kila Morton

How To Handle Rejection When Someone Says You Aren't Their Type

The Dating Tips Magazine — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

For some reason, there are those among us that think that every date should end in happily ever after. Well guys and girls, this is the real world. In the real world there are people we like and people we don't. There are also people that like us and people that don't. So what can you do when someone doesn't like you and tells you so? Here are a few tips to help you manage the situation with grace and style.

If you are in a social setting with your date, don't make a scene if they tell you that you aren't their type. There is no need to go that far with the situation. Your ego may be a bit bruised, but, acting like a nut isn't going to help the situation. If you are in a place where it's just the two of you, you need to show restraint. Your first inclination may be to curse and call the person names. This is unnecessary and unwise. There are times in life when you just have to handle things in a mature fashion and move on. It might be hard, but it's a lesson you need to learn now. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words, in this case, are just someones opinion. They are entitled to their opinion just as you are entitled to yours.

Another thing that you shouldn't do is to ask your date what you could do to become their "type". Desperate! Desperate! Desperate! That's what asking this sounds like. You may be desperate, but, you don't have to show it to someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you. Don't force the issue. When you try to change for someone just to be what they want, you to be you aren't being true to yourself. Even if the person tells you and you change to fit what they want, it is very likely that they will find some other reason to end your relationship. People who tell you something like this have typically thought it through. Don't waste your time trying to be something you aren't. You deserve someone who wants to be with you as you are - without the drama of trying to live up to someones image of who you should be.

The truth is that we all have our wants and desires. When it comes to relationships, some of us end up settling because we can't find what we want. Some of us get into relationships with some people that aren't exactly what we want, but,during the course of the relationship, become what we want. Some of us hold on to the ideal of what our perfect mate should be that we end up old and alone. Guess what? All of these scenarios are OK. If the person you are dating tells you that they are holding out for their ideal, don't condemn them. It's OK for them to want certain things in the same way that you want certain things. The fact that your date was honest with you isn't grounds for condemnation. They are simply saying what most people wish they could say. Most people aren't able to be that honest and most people aren't able to handle that type of honesty.

Hearing that you aren't someones type may be a blow to your ego and your self esteem, but, you shouldn't take this personally at all. Now I know that you may be thinking that this really is a personal issue, but it really isn't. The person you were dating had a list of wants and you didn't have the things they wanted. That isn't a personal thing. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with that person. Don't get caught up in feeling down on yourself or thinking that there is something wrong with you. There isn't. You have to accept that there are people in this world who want someone other than you. That's life shattering isn't it? However, it is true. You can't spend your time worrying about what someone else wants. Know that there is someone for everyone. You need to find the someone for you.

Remember that this person has given you the greatest gift someone can give to you. They have given you honesty. You may not have wanted it, but, honesty gives you a level of clarity that makes it easier to let go and move on. Don't make your date regret being honest with you. Accept what you've heard and move on with no hard feelings. There is someone out there for you that will make all of the crap you've had to wade through seem worth it. Until that person comes along, keep a smile on your face and let the small things like this just roll off of your back.

Written By Kila Morton

Ask K Questions And Answers - How long is...

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

My girlfriend and I have been engaged for years. Does she still want to get married?

	My girlfriend and I have been dating for the last 6 years. I asked her to marry me in year 3. So far she hasn't made any attempts to make any plans for our wedding. She doesn't even talk about it with me. I have tried to talk about it at different times, but she just brushes me off. It's been 3 years and I'm starting to feel like I should call off our engagement and forget about it. If I do, I'm sure we wouldn't break up, but, I don't know what to do anymore. Is it a lost cause? - Unsure If She Is Sure In NJ

	First of all, before you go calling anything off, I want you to try something. It's this little thing called communication. Let me be clear about something. If you can't talk to your girlfriend about this then you shouldn't even be thinking about getting married. You must sit your girlfriend down and find out if she wants to get married, why she hasn't said anything about marrying you and what she wants to do at this point. You need to also tell her how you feel. Marriage is very serious. If your girlfriend isn't ready then the last thing you want to do is try to force her into it. She may be having difficulties that she hasn't communicated with you. Sit down and talk. Don't break the engagement out of frustration. Break it because she tells you explicitly that she doesn't want to marry you. If she is worth marrying, then she is worth talking to. Figure it out with her. If she absolutely, positively won't talk about the situation, then your path with her is clear and you should ask for the engagement ring to be returned to you. However, I'm believe that if you force the issue she will tell you what is going on.

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7 Ways To Keep Your Children Safe When You Are Dating

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Children are precious and innocent. All too often, when parents date they make the mistake of exposing their children to things they should never be exposed to. Dating when you are a single parent can be difficult, but, there are a few dating tips that you should follow to protect your children while you get back into the dating game. No matter what, protecting your children should be your first priority in all situations. You may have not had a steady dating relationship in a very long time and it may be something that is important to you, however, you have a responsibility to protect your child even if that means sacrificing your immediate happiness. Here are a few common sense tips that will help you protect your child when you start dating.

Dating Tip 1 - Never Allow Someone You Just Started Dating To Meet Your Children - EVER!
When you are just meeting someone, you don't know anything about them. They could be a murderer, molester, rapist or whatever - you simply do not know. Even if you have done a search on them and turned up nothing, it is still possible that this person has done something in their past that they were not charged for and, hence, would not show up in a search. You don't know. Since your first priority is to your children and making sure that they are safe and secure and you can't tell if your new dating partner is someone that would hurt them, your kids should not meet them right away. Give yourself enough time to figure out if this person is good for you, much less your children. Kids are so impressionable. They take their images from what is OK from you. Why would you want to introduce your kids to a person that may be here one day and gone the next? You don't know how the relationship is going to turn out when you first meet someone. Give yourself plenty of time to figure that out, check the person out and then decide if they are worthy of meeting your children. Just because someone seems nice, doesn't mean they are.

Dating Tip 2 - Don't Allow Someone You Just Started Dating To Take Your Child To Places Without You
You don't know this person. No matter how many wonderful conversations you have had. No matter how many nice places you have been together. No matter what they have given you or done for you. You don't know this person fully. We teach our kids not to talk to strangers because kids lack the ability to protect themselves. Since kids base their responses to a lot of things on their parents, you are telling your child that this person is OK by allowing them to take your child places. However, since you don't know them, you can't really be sure that they are OK. Would you let a stranger pick up your child and take them some place? If your answer was the correct answer of no, then don't let some stranger whose name you happen to know pick up your kids and take them places without you being right there. You owe it to your child to protect them and you can't do that if you aren't around. It may be easier for you, but, it's not what is best for your child. What is best and safe for your child should be your paramount concern.

Dating Tip 3 - Don't Allow Your Children To See You In Bed With Someone You Just Started Dating
If you make the decision to sleep with someone you just met, that is your choice. That is something that your child should not be exposed to. Kids aren't stupid. Seeing mommy or daddy in bed with strange people sends the wrong message to them. You may be having your fun, but, your child is trying to figure out the reasons why. They may never tell you that what you are doing is inappropriate, but, the non-verbal messages you send to your child are surely things they will never forget. Give them the right things to dwell on - not images of you in bed with someone they don't know. It is preferable that you take of your personal business at a time when your kids aren't home or at a time and place that would remove the possibility of them seeing you at all.

Dating Tip 4 - Never Move In With Someone You Just Met With Your Children
This goes along with the common theme in the previous tips. You don't know this person. You don't know anything about their history beyond what they have told you. You wouldn't send your kids to live with strangers if you could help it so you shouldn't place your kids in a home with a stranger because you want to play house. It is your option to see whomever you choose. Your kids don't have a choice. Make the right one for them. If you need a place to stay, find a relative - don't go to the home of someone you don't know. If the situation is a true emergency and, for some reason, you have absolutely no choice but to go with someone you don't know, stay with your kids at all times! Don't allow them to be out of your sight at the person's home. Don't allow them to take them anywhere. Moving in with someone you just met is just not safe or smart - for you or your child.

Dating Tip 5 - Never Allow Your Children To Be Around Or Involved In Arguments With Someone You Are Dating
Children are impressionable. When they see you doing certain things, they start to believe that those things are normal. That's why the children of abusers tend to grow up to be abusers. When kids see that you handle your issues by arguing, they start developing that internally as a way to handle their problems. You are teaching them with every action you make. If you and someone you are dating are having an argument, take it to a place that is not near the children. Protect your child from negative situations. This is your job. The person you are dating may or may not care that your children are around, but, you always should.

Dating Tip 6 - Never Allow Someone You Just Started Dating To Discipline Your Child - EVER!
You discipline your kids because you love them. Someone you just started dating does not love them the way you do and therefore should not be disciplining your child. It is your responsibility and your job. You just met this person. Why would you allow someone that is essentially a stranger to the child to discipline them? Doing this not only builds up resentment in the child toward the person you are dating, it builds resentment in them toward you. You have a responsibility to your children to protect them and keep them away from harm. Allowing someone outside of that safety net to discipline them doesn't make them feel safe. Accept responsibility for the things you must do and discipline your own child. If the person you just started dating is telling you that your child is doing things that need to be addressed. That may be true, but, in all instances it is your job to take care of things - not the job of someone you just started dating.

Dating Tip 7 - If Your Child Makes An Allegation About Someone You Are Dating Acting Inappropriately Act On It Immediately
There may be a situation that arises in which your child makes accusations against the person you are dating. Whether they are true or not, you must remove the person you are dating from your life until the allegations are sorted out and possibly forever. First of all, if the allegations are true the person should not be allowed in your life ever and should be reported to the appropriate authorities. If the allegations are false, it is obvious that your child is struggling to deal with the idea of you dating and you need to remove that person from your life for the time being and focus on getting your child the help and attention they need. Children don't make allegations of abuse for no reason. It is your responsibility and obligation to drop everything and get to the root cause of what is going on. That may mean sacrificing your own happiness for the time being. However, if that is what must be done then that is what must be done. Children don't ask to come here. Since you were the one who bought them here on this earth, it is you that must be responsible for making sure they are safe and secure.

The truth is that you should not allow someone new in your life to have access to your children until you have done a thorough and appropriate screening. You may be looking for love and help as a single parent, but, your first responsibility is to not put your child in danger. Make dating safe for you and your child.

12 Dating Tips To Keep You Safe On A Date

The Dating Tips Magazine — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Keeping yourself safe when you are out on a date is really important. Sometimes we become complacent as we become more comfortable with the person we are dating. The problem is that this is often when bad things happen. Your safety is something that you must take into account when you are dating. There are essential steps that you can take take to make sure that you are protected and secure. Here are 12 ways to keep yourself safe on a date. Keeping yourself safe on a date is your responsibility. If you don't keep yourself safe on your date, no one else will.

Dating Tip 1 - Never Leave Your Drink Unattended While On A Date
If you have a drink and you need to go to the bathroom, get a fresh drink when you come back to the dinner table. While you are at the table, always keep your drink on the opposite side of where your date is sitting. If you want a drink, never let someone other than the bartender or waitress bring it to you. Letting someone bring you a drink may stroke your ego and make you feel special, but, it provides people with a prime opportunity to slip something into your drink. It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman. It doesn't matter if you feel a connection with the person you are dating or not. What matters is keeping yourself safe. It isn't a matter of trust. It is a matter of being smart and being careful.

Dating Tip 2 - Always Tell At Least 3 People Where You Are Going And What Time You Expect To Be Back
You may think that once you are grown you don't have to report in any more. Let me tell you something. Reporting in can save your life. I'm not saying to go call your mother or your father, but, you should make sure that at least three of your friends know where you are going to be going on your date. You should tell at least three friends to make sure that there are multiple people looking out for you and multiple people that are aware that you are out on a date. The information you give to your contact should include the name of the person you are going out with, a number for that person, the places you are going, a contact number for you and when you can be expected home. It would be very sad if something happened to you and no one even suspected that something was wrong for days. You have to put your pride aside and think about your safety.

Dating Tip 3 - If You Go On A Date With A Group, Make Sure You Leave With The Group
When you are out on a date, never leave your group and go with someone you meet. This is something that a lot of people ignore when they are out. They go out with friends and meet someone they like. They start talking and, before you know it, they decide to leave with the person they just met. This is, to say the least, stupid. If you are a man or a woman - it is just stupid. Do you know how many people have died doing this? If you go with a group, don't leave your group. There is nothing that you are going to talk about after you leave that can't wait. Many people leave places like clubs with people they don't even know. They don't know their first name, middle name, last name, where they live, what they like or anything else. Think about it. If someone you didn't know walked up to your car and asked you for a ride, would you give them a ride? Of course not! So why would you leave with someone that you don't know just because you exchanged a few words? It makes absolutely no sense.

Dating Tip 4 - Don't Carry All Of Your Very Valuable Items On A Date
Don't carry every credit card you own, all of your jewelry and all of your money out on a date. In addition to the fact that you could be robbed, if you drink you stand the chance of being in an inebriated state. If you are in an inebriated state and you have a lot of valuables, you stand a chance of losing everything you own. It's not worth it. Take enough money to ensure that you can get home if something happens and leave the rest at home.

Dating Tip 5 - If You Are Meeting Up Somewhere, Make Sure You Date In A Public Place
When you are meeting someone for a date, a public place can provide a safe venue for you to have a date. An open restaurant can offer you a very safe place for a date. When looking for a place, you want to select a place where there are people around, a place where people can see you and a place where you can have fun and relax.

Dating Tip 6 - Make Sure You Plan For The Unexpected While On Your Date
When you are on a date, there will be times when things happen. Make sure that you plan for the unexpected. For instance, I once went out on a date with a really nice guy. When the bill came, he took it and plopped down his MasterCard. There was only one problem. The restaurant didn't take MasterCard! Can you say oops! The guy asked me to wait while he went to an ATM, down the street from the restaurant. I sat there and waited for him to go to the ATM while the waitress glanced knowingly at me. Was I about to get taken for a ride? I didn't have to guess long. He came back and paid the bill. This taught me a valuable lesson. Had he not come back, I would have had an issue because I had left my cash and credit cards at home because I didn't like to carry cash on dates. Always carry enough money to cover yourself in the event of an emergency. You never know what may happen and both men and women need to be prepared.

Dating Tip 7 - If You Can, Schedule Your Date During The Day
If you can, schedule your date for an afternoon or during the day. Although dates at night can be romantic, your first few dates should be about getting to know the person you are dating and staying safe. FBI statistics show that, although most rapes occur during the day, most date rapes occur during the weekend and evening hours. Keep yourself safe. When you meet during the day, you can really take your time and get to know your date without the pressure of feeling like you have to think about where the date is going to end at night.

Dating Tip 8 - Provide Your Own Transportation To And From Your Date
If you are going on a date, you should agree to meet up with your date instead of letting them pick you up. By meeting up with your date, you maintain control of when you can leave. Let's face it, you don't know the person you are dating really well yet. What if they drink or do drugs while on your date and they are driving? If they go to the bathroom to do it, you may never know that they are high or inebriated. You place yourself at extreme risk when you date someone knew and you don't drive yourself. If you don't have a car, make sure that you take pepper spray along with you. You may be able to save yourself.

Dating Tip 9 - Make Sure You Have A Cell Phone With You And Make Sure Your Phone Is Charged
Nothing is worse than having an emergency and not having a cell phone or any phone to use to call for help. Having a cell phone in today's society is a necessity. It is not an extravagance. Get the cheapest plan you can find or a pay as you go plan if you don't have a lot of money, but, make sure you get yourself a phone. If you break down in your vehicle, get put out of someones car, need to be rescued, need to be helped or need to call anyone in an emergency situation, a cell phone can save your life. Make sure you have a phone when you go on a date.

Dating Tip 10 - Limit Your Consumption Of Alcohol And Drugs While On Your Date
If you drink, make sure that you don't consume too much alcohol while you are on your date. What is considered to be too much for you depends on your body weight. It is best that you don't drink alcohol at all while on a date, but, if you must, you should try to limit yourself to one. My favorite tagline for people is "one or none" when out on a date. If you are man, you don't want to come off as a raging alcoholic. If you are a woman, you don't want to come off as a raging alcoholic. Alcohol and drugs helps both men and women to make fools of themselves equally. People who can't handle drinking always think that they can, so use caution. You should not put yourself into a situation where your safety can be compromised due to your use of alcohol and drugs. Show some restraint. If you can't, get professional help BEFORE you start dating anyone.

Dating Tip 11 - Take Pepper Spray With You On Your Date
There are a lot of nice discreet bottles of pepper spray that you can easily take with you on a date. This may seem a little extreme, but, there is nothing like having it if you should ever need it. Besides being able to possibly stop a crazy person, pepper spray also chases away bears. So you can possibly protect yourself from crazy people and bears! Isn't that great!

Dating Tip 12 - Trust Your Instincts Or Trust the Instincts Of People You Know And Trust
If something doesn't seem right with a person who may be trying to pick you up, make sure that you trust your instincts. What happens if you don't have good instincts? If you can't trust yourself, then trust the instincts of someone you trust. If all of your friends tell you that something is wrong with someone you met then take a break and see if what your friends are saying have merit. I'm not saying that you shouldn't date someone because your friends don't have a good feeling about the person, but, sometimes other people can see things that you may not see.

There is only one person that has the responsibility of keeping you safe on a date. That person is you. You have to think about your safety at all times - especially when out on a date. Never think that someone you just met has your best interest at the forefront of their minds. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. Don't leave your safety to chance!

Written By Kila Morton