the DC AM

the DC AM #93: “Inaccurate Prediction”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:41:54 +0000

So sometimes when we record the show we do so before some major event, and then often post if afterwords. It makes it hard to do Oscar discussions, chats about movies that haven’t come out, and worst of all sports. So here we have this episode, where things are said, believed, and then found to not come true. Sad to be sure but you have to move on, right? Anyway, we also touch on boobie bracelets, a night out on the town in DC, a new bar review, and so so much more. So get to it, it’s not going to listen to itself.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Domi – Duckie
Fugazi – Waiting Room
Blues Traveler – Run-Around

Beware, Sharks In The Potomac

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 06:24:16 +0000

So, for all of our DC listeners, which is most of you I’m guessing, you’ve probably driven over, canoed in, swam in, beached on, or otherwise had some interaction with the Potomac River in your life. What you probably never imagined is that in all mirth and dirty-looking water there was swimming something bigger than a few crap or large-mouth bass. That’s right, recently a fisherman actually caught, of all things, a Bull Shark. Amazing to be sure but it actually happened, and you can see the picture that proves it. Anyway, we’re keeping this in mind next time we decide to go for a dip or have some bodies we need to make disappear, you understand, just the logical things.

Willy Dean has an incredible fish tale to tell. On Tuesday, he caught a shark while on the Potomac River in St. Mary’s County, Md.

Don’t believe him? He has the pictures to prove it.

Dean put out a net Monday at Cornfield Harbor in the Potomac three miles north of Point Lookout with hopes of catching cow-nosed rays for a Solomons Island Marina biologist. When he checked Monday night everything seemed normal. But when he checked again Tuesday morning, he made a startling discovery.

In the net was an 8-foot-long shark. He said it was a bull shark. According to National Geographic, experts consider them to be “the most dangerous sharks in the world.”

Whatever kind of shark it was, Dean knows two things: it had a heck of a lot of teeth, and it didn’t go out easily.

“We had an interesting morning bringing it in,” Dean said. “It was quite a fight.”

Once the shark was captured, the next question was: What the heck do you do with it?

“I am probably going to have it mounted, maybe the head,” Dean said. “Right now, the shark’s in the freezer.”

Which means there’s no chance that this fish tale ends with the big one getting away…

Liquid Nitrogen Gets PWNed

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:19:11 +0000

Sometimes we like to get all crazy informative on the DC AM. Here is one such case. We all know liquid nitrogen to be that crazy cold awesome stuff where if you want to make a cool Mythbusters episode or kill a T-1000, it’ll do the trick. But the interesting thing about it is you can actually your hand in the stuff for a brief moment before the super-crazy freeze sets in and your skin will actually come out in a form not resembling a five-pronged popsicle. It’s pretty cool and it’s called the “Leidenfrost effect” which is the same sort of thing you get when you throw some water on a boiling pan, the quick layer of steam that forms actually prevents any bonding, separating the pan and the water, or in the case the liquid nitrogen and your precious epidermis. In the future though it’s probably not smart to try this, because whether you or a T-1000 or not -320° F is probably nothing you want to joke with.

the DC AM #92: “Brosploded”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 06:35:29 +0000

Hello there fans, it’s another action packed week here at the DC AM global studios. This go around we update some tidbits about the contest, try and figure out how to have the biggest blow-out of a 100th episode ever, debate the pros and cons of various hangouts in the DC area, try and figure out how to avoid being killed if the contest is exposed to one of the contestants, and the reveal some interesting facts about British strippers and Sweden best business tactics. In all it’s a humdinger of a show, which is weird, because I’m not sure we even know what humdinger means, but it sure sounds appropriate. So go, listen, enjoy, revel in it!

Related Links:
‘One in four lap-dancers has a degree’

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Arcade Fire – Ready To Start
Cage The Elephant – Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked
David Bowie – Life On Mars

Living Like The Bible Is Rough

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 06:42:09 +0000

The Bible is one of those books, that is really long, really meaningful to a lot of people, but is for the most part bullshit… not that I want to offend all of the Bible fans that are also fans of the DC AM, but look, we said what we said, let’s move on. The point is the book is full of a lot of opposing logic, things that seem to have only made sense 2,000 years ago, and for the most part mythology masked as lesson, or possibly vice-versa. Which makes the fact that some guy who actually read the whole thing, jotted some very fine notes, and then decided to follow the whole damn thing, to the letter for a year. It’s kinda crazy, but it’s also kinda interesting so check out the brief video synopsis below.

Catblocking Cats Aren’t Cute

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 06:19:19 +0000

Cats are adorable. Sex is awesome. These are two sentences you might not have ever thought you’d see written one after another, but the fact is they are both true. So is another, cats can be god damn annoying. And that’s what makes this latest Funny or Die video so funny, mostly because it’s true, because if you’ve ever tried to have sex in the room with a cat inevitably that cat will try to fuck with you, and not in the literal way, the way in which you are trying actually to do, but in that I’m going to start treating your feet as a claw post while you are mid-coitus. Annoying. Anyway enjoy the video, at the very least it may convince you to get a dog, the worst they’ll do is just sit in the corner and stare at you creepily.

Catblock (The Ultimate Co%kblock) from Toph Eggers

Related Links:
Catblock (The Ultimate Co%kblock)

the DC AM #91: “Brosplosions”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 14:29:03 +0000

So this week we decided to go a little old school with a bar review, this time Courthouse, renowned for having a few great bars and one in particular which is terrible. Which one you ask? You’ll have to listen of course silly. And speaking of silliness we give some updates on the contest, we venture in to discussions about our very own “Brosplosion”, and manage to touch on the phenomena of “sexting” and how it’s affecting the lives of the rich and famous. In all it’s a humdinger of an episode so get to listening.

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Vampire Weekend – Giving Up The Gun
B.o.B – Airplanes
We Were Promised Jetpacks – Quiet Little Voices

Cousins, Please Stop Having Sex With Each Other

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:03:28 +0000

Cousin sex is always one of those things that people make fun of all the time, whether it’s a reference to West Virginia or that one couple from the Lowe’s ad who look far too similar to be married, it’s a taboo and for reasons beyond just being the butt of two many redneck jokes. Apparently in Britain it’s all the rage these days amongst their Pakistani population, and the results are putting pressure on the health care system to take care of all the medical issues babies of cousin banging produces. These babies have all kinds of problems, heart issues, being a little “tarded”, and having to tolerate the worst kind of limericks on the school playground. In short, don’t bang your cousin, it doesn’t even matter if somehow your cousin is Megan Fox, don’t do it… but if you do it and happen to film it you should probably send us the tape.

The medical risks of first cousin marriages include higher rates of infant mortality, birth defects, learning difficulties, blindness, hearing problems and metabolic disorders.

As adults, the children born from first cousin marriages are at increased risk of miscarriage or infertility. A third of children affected die before their fifth birthday.

An investigation by Channel 4’s Dispatches programme found that although more than 70 British studies have proved the risks, and 700 British Pakistani children are born with associated genetic diseases every year, many people deny the dangers.

Ann Cryer, the former Labour MP for Keighley, suffered abuse for trying to highlight the problems.

“It’s a public health issue and we deal with public health issues by raising awareness, by talking about subjects such as obesity, such as drug addiction, such as alcohol,” she said.

“But for some reason we’re told that we mustn’t talk about cousin marriages because this is a sensitive issue.

“I think it’s absurd, we have to talk about it in order to find solutions.”

Research shows the number of cousin marriages has risen dramatically in the UK over the last three decades, mainly between British Pakistanis, but also between first cousins in the British Bangladeshi community in which nearly a quarter of people marry their first cousins, and in some Middle Eastern and East African communities.

Americans Are Kinda Dumb

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 15:07:25 +0000

One of the more disturbing facts about American life is that most people aren’t like you at all. Sure, your friends all wish abortions could performed on a drive-thru basis, probably believe moonshine should be a constitutional right, and that on rare occasions have even indicated they agree with your theory that the “Smurfs” were based on a true story. But not everyone is like that. Which is why whenever a study is done that reveals just how unlike you most everyone else is, it can be a bit shocking. Check out a couple of such studies compiled by the folks at Funny or Die, it’s an eye-opener at best and a “I need to hide myself in a bomb shelter” at worst. The only confusing thing is why the reality of the “Smurfs” wasn’t covered at all in here.

Obama’s A Muslim
According to the Pew Research Center, 18% of Americans believe Obama is a Muslim. Most likely, the same people also hate Muslims. Put it together, and there’s a chance that one in five Americans hate our President because of his supposed religion.

Moon Landing Was A Hoax
A huge number of Americans believe that the moon landing was staged. Aside from the sheer stupidity of that, it raises a bigger question: If it was faked, how would Buzz Aldrin be bedding lady space groupie after space groupie if he hadn’t actually been on the moon? He would not. Thus, real.

Sun Revolves Around The Earth
I know Americans have a tendency to be a bit self-involved, but this is a bit much. According to a Gallup poll in 1999, 18% believed that the earth was the center of the universe. On a side note, 3% said “no opinion.” Those folks could not be bothered with such pedestrian quandaries.

Ghosts Are The Real Deal
One in three Americans believe in Ghosts. All Americans believe in Ghost. Both have no business existing.

Dinosaurs and Humans, BFFs
As of a couple years ago, nearly one-third of Texans believed that dinosaurs and humans roamed the earth at the same time. Yup. Oh, and at least one Alaskan, as well.

Evolution? That’s A Bit Of A Stretch
A 2004 study showed that 51% of Americans believed in Creationism. Over half of the people in this country thought humans just showed up one day and were ready for homeschooling.

Environmentalists Intentionally Caused The Oil Spill
So you know that oil spill that ruined the ocean, killed thousands of animals, and pretty much brought the country to a standstill? Environmentalists fault. It’s so obvious, I can’t believe only 10% believe this. To save what you love, you must sacrifice it. Those sick bastards.

The Existence of Aliens
It’s an old study, but not much has changed since 1999 in regard our nation’s knowledge of Alien life forms. And that’s unfortunate, as 80% of Americans believe the country’s keeping something under wraps in Roswell. Actually puts the rest of the list in perspective, doesn’t it?

Fox News Most Trusted Channel In News
Over half are convinced of this. Well, after that aliens stat, you can’t be that shocked.

Starcraft IS A Sport

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 15:36:02 +0000

There are a lot of video games out there these days, first person shooters, role playing, tournament fighters, and even awful, terrible gay ones that are made for girls but in reality no one actually plays and then just end up filling up the crate of “discount games” at Best Buy. But one category of game, real-time strategy, may in fact be the biggest of all, if not in total dollars or players playing, but in the sheer competition of it all. Starcraft, and the recently released Starcraft 2, stand alone as the game that of them all has actually reached the level of competitive-level sport, and no I don’t mean thirty kids packed into a conference room at a local Marriott, but full fledged arenas selling out with people watching. Yes, it’s nerdy, yes it’s stupid, and yes these people should probably put down the Slurpees and cheese doodles for ten minutes and actually get some sunshine, but in the meantime it’s fascinating to watch how big this game has gotten without a notice by just about any American. For more check out the NatGeo documentary below, and for now rock on South Korea, if only Lithuania could have stadiums sell-out for Hogan’s Alley.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc0Pgm8lWRw

the DC AM #90: “Holy Fucking Cock Shit”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:58:07 +0000

Yea, fuckers, that image makes no sense. So does this episode. But it’s great. And it involves weird stories, lots of chatting, drinking, and rambling, which after all is what you really want from the show anyway. In the meantime I guess should describe, ahem, we talk about what’s going on with the contest, who exactly in radio is fake and who is not, what’s the deal with fucking anyway, and why Tila Tequila is a little, tiny, elven shit. So in all a great episode…. I’m telling you this so it must be true, enjoy.

Related Links:
Tila Tequila Attacked at Rowdy Concert

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
MGMT – Weekend Wars
MGMT – Kids
MGMT – Future Reflections

4Chan Legally Explains Fags

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 06:34:44 +0000

Most people are familiar with the big sites on the ‘net, your Yahoo!’s, MSN’s, and Pornotubes, but another site, which may be a little less known, is still just as big, and it’s called 4Chan. What is 4Chan? Imagine if a Dungeons and Dragons club was armed with the impunity to launch actual rocket propelled grenades at anyone they didn’t like and that’s pretty much what you have. With an existence like that it’s no wonder that eventually the site would get hauled into court in the form of it’s leader and creator, “Moot”, aka Christopher Poole. Moot was brought in over a bunch of stuff the site had gotten involved with, most of all the hacking of Sarah Palin’s email and posting of all her password information. As part of the testimony though it got a little weird when the prosecutor began asking about all the terminology of the site, which is funny because I feel like all he really wanted to do was start singing “I’m Never Gonna Give You Up!” mid answer. Read the full transcript if you really want to OMG ROFL for days.

Q. Is there a certain language that is commonly
used for users of 4chan?
A. In what sense?
Q. Certain terms, have a meaning unique to 4chan?
A. Yes.
…
Q. What would “lurker” mean?
A. Somebody who browses but does not post, does
not contribute.
Q. What do the words “caps” mean?
A. Screenshots.
Q. And is there any significance to “new fags”?
A. That is the term used to describe new users to
the site.
…
Q. “Rickroll”?
A. Rickroll is a mean or Internet kind of trend
that started on 4chan where users — it basically a bait
and switch. Users link you to a video of Rick Astley
performing Never Gonna Give You Up.

Christopher “Moot” Poole Testimony in Palin Email Trial

This Kid Deserves A Punch

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 15:22:36 +0000

It’s not often you find something that really pisses you off. Yes, yes, you could say Perez Hilton, or Elisabeth Hasselbeck, or even that creepy Burger King ad where the King is in bed with you when you wake up, but none of them really get you to the point of actually wanting to commit acts of violence. But case in point this kid movie review CBS’s Early Show found. Not only is his super over-the-top energy just strangely weird for an 11 year-old, but it’s like he studied Leonardo Maltin but forgot the guy is 60 years older than him. And then he actually starts reviewing. He shits on “Inception” for being to confusing for his age, then why the hell are you watching it?!?!? Then he really talks up “Ramona and Beezus” with some kind of weird insincere applause for the fact that’s it a fun G-rated film, which only means this kid will be killing homeless transvestites by the age of 19. Then he reviews “Salt”, and well, it’s impossible for me to go on. Watch this kid and try not to put your fist through the screen.

the DC AM #89: “Technical Difficulties”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:14:18 +0000

Sorry. That’s right sorry… in advance. The trouble with doing a podcast all the time is eventually you come to trust and live by your equipment. Never again. So what we have for you this week is in fact a show, the trouble is it’s all recorded off on ambient mic and none of the high-quality superior-recording microphones you are used to, and oh yea, we didn’t even realize this was the case until after the show was finished. Stupid technology. That aside it’s a good show, if you can hear it, we talk a lot about the contest and even get the take of one of the contestants, and then delve into a few silly internet stories as you’re used to. In all it’s a great show, too bad it sounds like it’s recorded in someone’s bathtub. If this ever happens again we’d invite you to contact the FCC and have our podcasting license pulled.

Winston Churchill Knew E.T.

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 13:02:31 +0000

So a lot of people believe that aliens have visited our planet, and a lot of people don’t. We here at the DC AM can’t personally understand the ones who don’t think they’ve been here, thanks mostly to such courageous documentaries as “Independence Day” and “Species”, but whatever, it’s a free country, you’re allowed to delude yourself. What may come as a larger shock is that the higher-ups from the past who had quite readily believed in their existence thanks to some evidence they just they and a few select people were privy to. One such person is Winston Churchill, who apparently wasn’t just a fan of fried food and cigars, but was also Prime Minister of the U.K. During his time as leader he several reports about RAF Bombers encountering UFOs, reports so vivid and unexplainable that Churchill eventually decided to never release them for fear that people would give up on religion, as Churchill was too big a fan of the free wafers and wine that were given out each week and couldn’t allow that to end. Read some of the details and check out a quick video discussing the story, and remember, the Truth is Out There… or some such shit.

The allegations involving Churchill were made by the grandson of one his personal bodyguards, an RAF officer who overheard the discussion, who wrote to the Ministry of Defence in 1999 inquiring about the incident after his grandfather disclosed details to his family.

According to the series of letters, written by the guard’s grandson who is now a physicist from Leicester, a reconnaissance plane and its crew were returning from a mission over occupied Europe when they were involved in the war incident.

During their flight, on the English coast, possibly near Cumbria, their aircraft was approached by a metallic UFO which shadowed them.

Photographs of the object, which the crew claimed had “hovered noiselessly” near the plane, were taken by the crew.

Later, during discussions about the unexplained incident, the two men were claimed to have become so concerned by the incident that Churchill ordered it remain secret for 50 years or more.

During the meeting, a weapons expert dismissed suggestions the object was a missile as the event was “totally beyond any imagined capabilities of the time”.

Another person at the meeting raised the possibility of a UFO, at which point Churchill ordered the report to be classified for at least half a century and reviewed by the prime minister to stop “panic” spreading.

“There was a general inability for either side to match a plausible account to these observations, and this caused a high degree of concern,” wrote the scientist, whose details are redacted.

“Mr Churchill is reported to have made a declaration to the effect of the following: ‘This event should be immediately classified since it would create mass panic among the general population and destroy one’s belief in the Church’.”

the DC AM #88: “Cheap Drinks”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 15:09:09 +0000

So we finally got around to doing another drunk show, which is weird, because when the show started all the shows were drunk shows so this one should be counted as anything other than ordinary is a bit strange… so fuck it, here’s the DC AM you know love. This week we’re joined not just by the ghosts of Jack Daniels and Jim Beam that were used quite liberally over the night, but quite a cast of interesting characters. We delve into the subjects of shitty jobs you never want to have, what’s a go to drink when you have very little in your pocket, and the dangers of having genital piercings when you’re also a fan of public masturbation. In all it’s quite a show, and from what any of us can remember from the hazy drunken fog, an epic one. Go get listening.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Vampire Weekend – Giving Up The Gun
B.o.B – Airplanes
Temper Trap – Sweet Disposition

“I’m Fucking Snooki!!!”

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 14:01:23 +0000

We’ll keep this one brief, because quite honestly it’s a story about the “Jersey Shore” show and words other than “burn their fucking house to the ground” are mostly a waste of time. With that understand it shouldn’t be too shocking to report that this weekend one the show’s stars, Snooki, got arrested after of all things drinking too much and then we can assume probably feeling bad after being rejected by guy after guy who mistook her for an overly-orange Ewok. As the cops hauled her into their car she played the Hollywood card of demanding to know if they knew who she was and that she deserved the star treatment, which is funny because a year ago the only way this girl could be considered a star is a few minutes before closing time when all the tanned-out juice-heads have finally decided to lower their standards beneath the normal Jersey trash they usually sleep with. God bless you Snooki, we can’t wait to see you on Celebrity Rehab in a few more seasons.

“I’m the best thing in this town,” she arrogantly declared after cops busted her for being a drunk nuisance Friday, according to an insider.

“She was bad-mouthing everyone who walked by her [in the police stationhouse]. She was saying ‘I’m a star, you can’t do this to me.’”

Snooki unleashed a boozed-up, expletive-filled rant after being arrested for disorderly conduct, and attempted to use her new-found fame as a “get-out-of-jail-free” card.

“You can’t tell me what to do – I’m Snooki,” she yelled at officers, according to witnesses. “Do you know who I am? I’m f—— Snooki. You can’t do this to me. I’m f—— Snooki. You guys are going to be sorry for this. Release me!”

Not surprisingly, her harsh language didn’t do the trick.

The pint-sized reality TV star was hauled away from the Jersey shore boardwalk in cuffs Friday as her oversized shades slid down her nose. A photo of her looking dishevelled with mascara running down her face while in custody also surfaced yesterday, as locals took stock of her unruly behavior and lashed out at the reality show cast.

Movie About Kid Losing Virginity, Shocking

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:44:42 +0000

So the history of film is rife with comedies about guys losing their virginities, mostly because it’s the best combination of funny, awkwardness, and you generally get a great payout at the end, no money shot puns intended. With that it’s not much of a surprise that yet another one is coming out, this time being shot in a mockumentary type fashion where a kid who is gonna lose to it to his girlfriend but has his friends set up to tape, which she discovers, flips out, and then he has to try and get her back. Shenanigans ensue no doubt. The one upshot, or possible downshot considering his recent bunch of films, is that Wil Ferrel is behind along with his writing partner Adam McKay. Check out the trailer and decide for yourself. At this point we’d venture into a discussion about why films aren’t made about girls losing their virginities but then we realize there are, they’re just usually sad dramas or most of the material you can find on YouPorn.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfhDizof2DE

Ex-Lady Hulkster Gets Married, World Vomits In Mouth

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:48:25 +0000

Hulk Hogan is an American hero, it’s true, let’s take a look at some facts. Center stage with Andre the Giant at Madison Square Garden. Taking on Stallone in “Rocky 3″. Wearing a tutu and being helpful around the house as “Mr. Nanny”. So it comes with some chagrin that we must examine the nonsense that is his ex-wife. First she leaves him after twenty-plus years of marriage and takes half his money, money by the way which comes at the cost of him having a spinal column that more closely resembles a tattered accordion, and then she shacks up with one of her son’s friends in Hulk’s old house. And now for the final spit in the face the two of them are getting married, which we can all assume is because she heard the word “cougar” thrown around too much in the past couple years and decided it was the “in” thing and he just likes vaginas that closely resemble what an Arby’s dumpster looks like after a few days in the sweltering summer heat. In all, our hearts go out to you Hulkster, too bad choke-slams aren’t legal in real life.

Linda Hogan, ex-wife of wrestler Hulk Hogan, is set to wed her 21-year-old boyfriend, Charlie Hill.

The 50-year-old has been dating her toy boy for two years now and the unlikely pair are said to be planning to marry next summer on Linda’s yacht named Alimoney.

Charlie is a year younger than Linda and Hulk’s daughter, Brooke. Apparently he was first friends with the couple’s 20-year-old son, Nick.

The lovebirds were spotted in downtown Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago looking relaxed and happy and thoroughly enjoying each other’s company.

Beyond their matching hairdos, it’s hard to see what the pair has in common. And aside for a penchant for dating older women, little else is known about Charlie Hill.

However, Hulk Hogan seems to think they’re a perfect match and was among the first to offer his congratulations.

This Man Is Being Hunted By Aliens

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:40:08 +0000

Coincidences are those weird things that people either just cast-aside as mere nothingness or other people apply great meaning and importance. Nearly every single time of course the former is the correct line of thought, but never underestimate the crazy people. Case in point, Radivoje Lajic, who not only has a horrible name to bother to pronounce, but also has had a horrible last few years. It seems as though he his house has become ground zero for meteors crashing down on our planet, to the tune of six in just last two years. Well while you could chalk this up to crazy statistical weirdness, not Radivoje, who believes that he is targeted by aliens for death. Why aliens would choose tiny chunks of space rock over ray guns doesn’t seem to matter to ‘ol Radivoje, but nevertheless he’s gaining a bit of celebrity over the whole thing anyway. Check out the story it’s a fun one, and anyway we have to go hunt down the X-Men character ‘Storm’, who must be real, because we’ve been struck by lightning twelve times in the last month… crazy.

A MAN who claims he is being targeted by extraterrestrials after a series of meteorite strikes on his house has now been hit by a sixth space rock in the space of a few years.

Radivoje Lajic first came to international attention in 2008, shortly after the fifth meteorite had crashed into the roof of his house in the northern village of Gornji Lajici in Bosnia.

And now, within the past month, another rock has hit the roof of his house, in defiance of all the odds – making it six strikes since the plague of meteorites began in 2007, the UK’s

Experts at Belgrade University have confirmed that all the falling rocks he has handed over were meteorites. They are now trying to work out what exactly it is about his house that particularly attracts them. The strikes always happen when it is raining heavily, he says, never when there are clear skies.

Lajic has his own explanation, of course. After the fifth rock struck his house, he said: ‘I am obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials. I don’t know what I have done to annoy them but there is no other explanation that makes sense. The chance of being hit by a meteorite is so small that getting hit six times has to be deliberate.’

50-year-old Lajic has had a steel girder reinforced roof put on the house to protect it from the alien bombardment – which he funded by selling one of the meteorites to a university in the Netherlands.

‘I have no doubt I am being targeted by aliens,’ he adds. ‘They are playing games with me. I don’t know why they are doing this. When it rains I can’t sleep for worrying about another strike.’

the DC AM #87: “Bunny Suit In Summer”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:28:45 +0000

Another week, another wild pack of audio tales with which to amuse and entertain you. This time we’re talking parties in the summer, particularly of the costumed variety, which seems fun until you realize there is a heat wave going on. We also touch on our on-going contest which finally makes some headway for AM, to Original Jack’s chagrin. Plus we chat a bit about the best obscure video games that you should go back and play, a fighter pilot with balls of steel, and a woman who decided having one functioning womb wasn’t enough and went ahead and doubled down. So get listening, it’s fun escape from your cubicle, or your car, gym, or home life… fuck it, who needs an excuse, go now.

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
The Bravery – An Honest Mistake
We Were Promised Jetpacks – Quiet Little Voices
Innerpartysystem – Don’t Stop

Nerds Heart Inception

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 16:25:08 +0000

Last week on the show we reviewed “Inception”, easily one of the better films of the year and it’s won the box office two weeks in a row so just one of the out and out biggest as well. A lot of the attention is over the coolness of dreams vs. reality, and geeking out on how cool it would be to control your dream world, and this time without having to drop acid first. Well turns out there’s a whole bunch of reasons, so here’s a few from the guys over at Gigaom, so take a look and see if you agree… and if not than you may need to go ahead and find your totem.

First, and most superficially, this is a mashup of movie genres that resonate with geeks: The movie combines science fiction, espionage, con games and action movie elements, with requisite car chases and gun battles, spiced up by some excellent special effects (Paris folding in on itself is to die for).

Second, the hero is a good-looking geek — and so is his female colleague. Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) works with a team of hackers — including a really smart, beautiful female geek (I am officially in love with Ellen Page) — who together set out to hack wetware, rather than software. He is deeply passionate about his work and unable to draw a line between his personal and professional pursuits. That’s something geeks can all relate to. But it gets better.

Third, they are attempting a hack that no one else has done before — implanting an idea in someone’s brain so that the person truly feels it is his own idea. If you’re the kind of geek who yearns for detailed schematics of the technology behind all of this, you’ll be disappointed – there are none. This is a movie for the Dungeons-and-Dragon crowd, who are prepared to suspend disbelief in the interest of the game.

Fourth, this team of hackers creates designer dreams, defining elaborate settings and choreographing action so that the “players” end up doing things according to plan – well, at least most of the time. Many critics have put down the movie because the dreams are neat and orderly, not messy and chaotic — but that’s the point, these are geek dreams, carefully programmed in advance, like a video game. In fact, these aren’t even really dreams; they’re artificial constructs that have clear rules and complex labyrinths that must be explored in order to progress.

Fifth, these dreams have multiple layers, with clear protocols for moving from one level to the next. Sounds suspiciously like a technology stack. But like most technology stacks, even the best defined interfaces sometimes yield unexpected ripple effects across the layers – often something happening in one layer of this dream world results in some kind of disturbance in other layers of the stack. Damn it, can’t we eliminate those messy interdependencies?

Sixth, we have a doomed love story. Cobb spends a good part of the movie yearning for his lost wife, regretting and reliving the loss. A key message of the movie, underscored by the Edith Piaf song that repeatedly plays throughout, is that regret is a draining emotion that one must learn to let go. It is perhaps not coincidental that the lost love’s name is Mal – French for bad. What geek isn’t driven by regret over a lost love or at least a lost opportunity?

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, there are unresolved mysteries. The movie does not neatly wrap everything up in the end. We are left with major uncertainties that trigger some vigorous debates among those who have seen the movie, with evidence to support very different interpretations of the end. The end very likely may be just a beginning, true to the title of the film. There is much more to be learned. Nothing less would satisfy a geek.

Curry Can Save The Planet

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 14:38:22 +0000

One of the bigger problems going around these days is global warming, and to get all local for a second, the DC area has basically a dry tinder-box all summer long, with periodically just bursting into flames if they remain outside for longer than ten minutes. Faced with this problem scientists have been looking for ways to cut down on greenhouse gases, with most of the focus on cars and industries. Well one of the big culprits, in fact possibly the biggest, is all of the stupid livestock we keep around and their desire to just fart at will. That adds up to millions of gallons of methane a day, so thanks a lot you stupid cows. In an effort to look for a way to cut down on this scientists have discovered that just feeding the animals small amounts of curry can cut down on methane production by nearly 40 percent. That’s right, the same spice you dread to bring into your home for fear of making it smell like an Indian restaurant for all of time also might just be our best and cheapest weapon to fight off the insufferable methane pollutants. So go at it scientists, get those cows some curry, stupid ‘ol Bessie looks like she is about to let a big one rip.

The spices work a bit like an antibiotic, killing the “bad” methane-producing bacteria in the animal’s gut while allowing “good” bacteria to flourish. There are 30 million sheep in the UK, each producing about 5 gallons of methane a day through…well, you know. And methane is 20-times more powerful in terms of global warming when compared to carbon dioxide.

“Methane is a major contributor to global warming, and the slow digestive system of ruminant animals such as cows and sheep makes them a key producer of the gas,” Dr Abdul Shakoor Chaudhry at Newcastle University explained. “What my research found was that certain spices contain properties which make this digestive process more efficient so producing less waste – in this case, methane.”

the DC AM #86: “Inceptioning”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:45:45 +0000

Hello world, our should I say dream world, because this podcast totem we’re producing right here seems to be spinning endlessly, oh dear god we all need a kick… I think a fantastically funny podcast should suffice. That’s right this week we give our review of the biggest movie of the summer, chat about our on-going contest and add yet another stunt to the debacle, and then we debate some recent occurrences and strategies related thereto. Oh and if you weren’t scared enough that your whole life is actually some sleep-infused limbo we gather some facts related to the vagina, and yea, some of you may be rethinking your desires to have sex. Not us though, we have some serious addictions to satisfy, and we’re pretty sure if we look long enough we’ll find a lovely-lady part that also gushes whiskey on demand. Wow, that was sexy. So go, get listening.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Arcade Fire – Keep The Car Running
Metric – Gold Guns Girls
Jay-Z – Forever Young

You Dun Goofed Up

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 18:06:07 +0000

The internet is capable of accomplishing many things, bringing knowledge to the world, informing of us of breaking stories and events, and creating viral videos of people who would otherwise be entirely undeserving of any attention. Case in point, Jessi Slaughter, an 11 year-old Florida girl who has found herself the focal point of one of the more viscous attack campaigns the web has ever produced, and without totally crediting the good people at 4-Chan, it seems to have come from all sides. It all started when the girl, who had regularly been posting videos of herself spouting off one random thought after another, posted an obscenity filled tirade against the people who had been leaving her comments. The video quickly went viral and people on the internet quickly found out her personal details, address, phone number, and the like, and quickly she and her family were inundated with unwanted attention. Far be it from us to attack a lowly 11 year-old girl, I think we all know her parents should be the ones lined up for a stoning, but it proves once again the internet is quite the vehicle of mayhem when it so chooses to be. So enjoy the last video in her series were she, and more importantly her dad, go off on the haters, who because of the entire family has now found themselves under police surveillance in case of any possible threats coming through. Hats off internet, is next up punching new born babies in the face?

You dun goofed up – Watch more Funny Videos

Big Tits, Big Problems

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 06:25:11 +0000

Fake breasts are one of those things that a lot of women are getting, other women want to get, even more other women don’t want, and mostly something guys spend far less time thinking about than women would ever even believe. But as they’ve become more and more common the trend to get them bigger and bigger is like an arms race of cleavage, some sort of thinning of the strip club herd, and as long as there’s a doctor willing to perform a crazy operation there’s a crazy girl willing to get it done. One such woman is Sheyla Hershey who wanted go so big that the surgery itself endangers her life as it a Staph infection broke out and is nearly killing her. Tough break for her as it now turns out she may have to lose all of both of her breasts in order to save her life. So here’s a lesson folks, big fake tits look great in a shirt or a bikini, but they look really really awful when all carved up on an operating table… small breasts probably don’t have such problems, just sayin’.

A Texas woman with the world’s largest breasts is at risk of losing her life after her 30th augmentation has gone wrong.

Sheyla Hershey, 30, who has broken world records with an astounding 38KKK breasts, developed a staph infection in both of her breasts last month in her native Brazil following an operation to increase her bust.

She was rushed into the emergency room in Texas yesterday following complications from the surgery. “I had a large fever and it was painful,” she told Fox 26 News. “I just couldn’t breathe properly, it was terrible. I was in bed all day, couldn’t get up.”

Doctors have to remove both implants and possibly her entire breasts. Sheyla has spend more than $61,000 on 30 breast enlargements and had nearly one gallon of silicone in her implants.

the DC AM #85: “X-Rayted”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 06:41:47 +0000

First off, congrats to Spain for pulling off the World Cup win, and now we can go back to not talking about soccer for another four years. With that said this week it’s all crazy party stories, including blood and vomit, scare stories for ladies about not enjoying porn too too much, and if divorce is just another disease spreading around. Oh, and if so, what does this say about kids becoming emo or douches wearing Ed Hardy? Maybe all people are is carries for awful, terrible, personality faults… wow, it got all philosophical for a second. Also we update the on-going contest, touch on some weird no takes on the x-rated picture industry, and otherwise inform and entertain as you have come to expect. So go, get listening!

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Eve 6 – Inside Out
Eminem – Love The Way You Lie
Muse – Uprising

H20 FTW

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 13:18:01 +0000

Here on the DC AM we often advise people to drink. This drinking can include whatever, beer, wine, whiskey, schnapps, vodka, home-brewed moonshine, gin, rum, or even fermented orange-rinds in a prison toilet, whatever it takes. But lately we’ve been thinking about health, because you know, if you die you can’t drink, or listen to a podcast for that matter. So it’s in that vein that we’d like to remind you to occasionally not drink drink, but just drink, water in fact. That’s right, it may seem crazy because it’s not as good as a Jack and Coke but water is an amazing fluid, so make sure to occasionally pound a few glasses of it, it’s a tasty refreshing, hydrating treat that if nothing else can help keep you fit enough for further games of beer pong.

Sure, hydration is important to survival, but if you are healthy and have access to clean water, death by dehydration probably isn’t a major fear. So why should you be concerned with hydration? Even mild dehydration can begin to compromise your health and stifle the effectiveness of your workout. Here are the top four reasons to make sure you stay hydrated at all times.

* Weight Loss
A few years ago Michael Boschmann, MD, and colleagues from Berlin’s Franz-Volhard Clinical Research Center found that after drinking about 17 ounces of water, the metabolic rates of the study’s participants increased by 30 percent. And the researchers estimated that if a person increases his water consumption by 1.5 liters (51 oz) a day, he would burn an extra 17,400 calories per year. That’s about five pounds just from drinking more water. Additionally, a study by Dr. Brenda Davy, an associate professor at Virginia Tech, found that people who drank water before a meal consumed an average of 75 fewer calories at that meal.

* Better Mental Clarity
“Poor hydration leads to increased tiredness, reduced alertness and impaired short-term memory. Good luck with using that as an excuse to your boss. “Even mild dehydration — being only 1-2 percent dehydrated has shown to impair cognitive performance — like the ability to perform mental tests and skills requiring thinking,” Bazilian says.

* Greater Results in the Gym
Not seeing gains in the gym? Perhaps a lack of water is to blame. “If you don’t hydrate yourself correctly you won’t perform very well and you won’t see results,” American Council on Exercise spokesperson and exercise physiologist Fabio Comana, M.S. says. Muscles are about 80 percent water and dehydration diminishes blood flow to brain, the delivery of nutrients to your muscles and slows down your recovery process. Water also helps reduce the chance of injury and pain because of the key role it plays in keeping joints lubricated.

* General Appearance
While water may not be the fountain of youth, it will help improve dry skin, cracked lips and wrinkles. Water is required to make saliva which is the body’s best natural defense against tooth decay, and good hydration helps preserve skin’s elasticity and tone.

How Much Do You Need?
The Beverage Institute For Health & Wellness has created a hydration calculator to help you determine your daily water needs based upon your age, weight, health, environment and activity level, and you can use the Institute of Medicine’s recommendation of 3.7 liters (125 ounces) daily for men as a guideline. But if you’re physically active, living in a hot climate or taking workout supplements such as creatine, take precautions to consume extra water.

Related Links:
What You Need to Know About H2O

Even Stevens

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 12:43:40 +0000

Steve Carrel left the Daily Show a few years back and has since been awesome on “The Office” and been really great in movies as well, “Evan Almighty” aside. Stephen Colbert left the Daily Show a few years back and has since been awesome on his blowhard mocking show “The Colbert Report”. But as mentioned, of course, they were both at one time on the Daily Show, where they would frequently do a debate segment where each of them handled one end of a political subject-matter. It was hilarity on tape every time. So it was good last night to see on the “Report” that the two united again on the show carried on the same sort of bickering they always did. Good stuff, check it out.

The Colbert Report

Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The Carell Corral

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

2010 Election

Fox News

The Colbert Report

Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Steve Carell

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

2010 Election

Fox News

Conan Gets An Emmy Nod, Leno Ponders How To Steal It

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:10:41 +0000

We here at the DC AM have made no secret our love of all things Coco, and our absolute belief that Jay Leno is a tool-spawn of the devil brought here in order to lull us all into a sense of quiet sleep from a barrage of unfunny jokes, awkward interviews, and things resembling “sketches” in only the way talking to over-rehearsed idiots giving dumb responses on street corners. So it came much to our pleasure this week when the Emmy nominations included a nod to Conan’s “Tonight Show” and nothing for Leno and his back from the dead version, or his 10PM disaster for that matter. It’s a good thing, and imagine it’s because most of Hollywood secretly hates Leno and his Carson and Conan stealing tendencies and want to give a big shot of encouragement to O’Brien and his journey into the cable badlands. We’ll be watching for when Conan wins, goes on stage, and shits on a tiny Leno bauble-head.

In addition, Conan O’Brien received a surprise nomination for his brief and tumultuous tenure hosting NBC’s “The Tonight Show” — while his resurrected replacement, Jay Leno, was snubbed in the category.

New Bike Design Is Forkless, Gay

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 14:37:50 +0000

People are always trying to improve things. Three-ply toilet paper, more advanced versions of the Port-O-John, and the iPhone 4GS all come to mind, but often people work on these that have nothing at all to do with shit. One such thing is the new bicycle design by Olli Erkkila of Finland who decided the triangle shaped “fork”, found in pretty much every bike ever since people stopped using the giant-wheel-little-wheel versions, was no longer needed. He instead went with a weirder more elongated design that put him just about over the the rear wheel and allows the handlebars to still guide the front wheel using a control rod. In the end this looks like he took a lot of time to do a lot of nothing since bikes are pretty much fine as they are, but hey, IKEA is always looking to expand their business enterprises and this thing would look great next to one of those egg shaped chairs.

Finnish bicycle designer Olli Erkkila has always designed bicycles that can really surprise us. Look at the white bike below. It is his graduation project for Institute of Design in Lahti. Have you discovered the difference? It works without front fork. The odd bicycle just adopts a modified frame that is steered using handlebars connected to a steering rod that turns the front wheel. The frame is modified to support the rider in the absence of the front fork, with added tubing below the seat.

the DC AM #84: “Final Boss”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:58:48 +0000

Wow, a weekend of nothing but fireworks, hot weather, barbecues, and celebrating the fact that America is the #1 seed of countries can be tiring. Oh and the drinking, of course, how could I leave that out. Well never fear, we’re here, and this week we give an update on the on-going contest, discuss some of the great video game bosses of past and present, enlighten the world on what women think makes a good car (note: the wrong stuff), and give you the latest on how Pee-Wee Herman is helping us to forget all about the time he masturbated in a movie theater… never again Pee-Wee, never again. Get listening.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
The Bravery – An Honest Mistake
B.o.B – Airplanes
Band Of Horses – Ghost In My House

GTL4EVA

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:38:06 +0000

Jersey Shore was one of those shows that out of the gate everyone was like, “holy shit, did you see what those dumb fuck guidos on MTV were up to last night!?!?!?” Then there was the phase were you were like, “this is actually a sad condemnation of the youth culture in America today.” There was the phase of denial. Then grieving. Then finally reading some Keats or Steinback to cleanse your soul of the worst time waster the world has ever known. Well kids get ready to revisit the shame spiral as the orange, fake-titted, steroided out all-star douchebags are back, and apparently they’ve figured out that being a whiny bitch isn’t just a way of life but a good way to get more screen time. That’s right “Jersey Shore” is returning and the trailer for the new season is hitting the internets, so check it out, make a comment, feel better, feel worse, whatever, GTL4EVA bitches.

MTV Shows

the DC AM #83: “Vuvuzela What”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 06:04:48 +0000

So the United States is out of the World Cup, and after some time has passed you may find yourself asking, “will our country keep caring about soccer?” The correct response of course is, “what the hell is soccer and when does football start back up again?” That’s right, screw it, we lost, best we forget and pretend to care again in another four years. Also this week we update the status of the exciting on-going DC AM host competition, which if you don’t about we’re not spoiling here, you’ll have to listen. Plus we touch on horrible stadium-ruining noise-makers, what sort of sick sick thoughts are rolling around in your girl’s head, and Original Jack ruins what would’ve been the first podcasted Bro Icing… damn you Original Jack, damn you.

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Offspring – Gotta Get Away
Jay-Z – Young Forever
Silversun Pickups – Future Foe Scenarios

Getting Drunk Is Better With A View

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:27:53 +0000

Whenever you’re out drinking it’s always nice to do at it a place that’s cool. Sure, you could just always getting your requisite five Jack Daniels shots, three Miller Lites, two SoCo and Limes, six Jager bombs, one Vodka-Red Bull, and a glass of Merlot just for full measure, just about any place, but it’s always nice to have style… incidentally, that menu is what we call a “warm-up” here on the DC AM. So in that pursuit of style it’s always good to be on the lookout for a spot that isn’t just a big wooden bar with a rack of wooden stools and an array of wide-screen TVs, sometimes you need a view. So in that pursuit check out short list from The Daily Green of some of the best bars with a view, and click the link for a few more they have. Awesome landscape pictures have never made me so thirsty before.

Vertigo Moon Bar, Bangkok, Thailand – First stop is the Vertigo Moon Bar, which offers a breathtaking bird’s eye view of Bangkok, an increasingly cosmopolitan city of 12 million. Sip expertly mixed drinks from the 61st floor of the Banyan Tree Bangkok, a five-star luxury hotel in the Thai city’s central business and embassy district.

Rock Bar, Bali, Indonesia – Set on a rock ledge just feet above the waves of the Indian Ocean, the Rock Bar is the hottest sunset and after-dark spot at Ayana Resort and Spa in beautiful Bali. Toast the open-air sea breezes as you nibble tapas served “on the rocks”–on natural stone plates. The bar’s minimalist design puts the emphasis on the spectacular view.

230 FIFTH, New York City – Since opening in 2006, Steven Greenberg’s 230 FIFTH has been consistently rated one of New York City’s best rooftop bars. The joint offers epic skyline views from both the outdoor Garden Rooftop Bar and the enclosed Penthouse Lounge. In addition to tasty drinks and snacks, 230 FIFTH is known for offering guests red full-length robes (yes, they resemble Snuggies), so they can take in the night air without getting a chill.

360 Wine Bar and Lounge, Innsbruck, Austria – Enjoy views of charming Innsbruck and the world-famous Austrian Alps from 360 Wine Bar and Lounge, set seven stories above a shopping center. Innsbruck is a popular ski town, and there are few après nightspots that can match 360 for atmosphere.

Women Get Off According To Their Walk

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 05:24:31 +0000

The study of human biology is an interesting thing. There’s been studies show that women can pick out variant immune systems from saliva. There’s been studies showing how the positioning of your limbs controls how much you take in during a public speech. There’s even been studies showing men’s sweat can act as a tranquilizer for women’s hormonal systems. Well here we find a new study that of all things shows a link between the way a woman walks and the sort of sexual pleasure she prefers, whether vaginal or clitoral. Now what can we gleam from this you may ask? Probably nothing, however it is pretty fun to talk about mostly so we can use the words vaginal and clitoral, and also so we can try and speculate what this means for that random girl who is always hunched over and why she actually probably prefers anal. Also another great thing about scientific studies is when random internet blogs can take them, spin the, mock them, and otherwise use them for their own amusement. The “breast-size as it relates to movie preferences” should be really eye-opening/

INTRODUCTION: Research has demonstrated the association between vaginal orgasm and better mental health. Some theories of psychotherapy assert a link between muscle blocks and disturbances of both character and sexual function. In Functional-Sexological therapy, one focus of treatment is amelioration of voluntary movement. The present study examines the association of general everyday body movement with history of vaginal orgasm. AIM: The objective was to determine if appropriately trained sexologists could infer women’s history of vaginal orgasm from observing only their gait. METHODS: Women with known histories of either vaginal orgasm or vaginal anorgasmia were videotaped walking on the street, and their orgasmic status was judged by sexologists blind to their history. MAIN OUTCOME MEASURE: The concordance between having had orgasms triggered by penile-vaginal intercourse (not orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation) and raters’ inferences of vaginal orgasm history based on observation of the woman’s walk was the main outcome measure. RESULTS: In the sample of healthy young Belgian women (half of whom were vaginally orgasmic), history of vaginal orgasm (triggered solely by penile-vaginal intercourse) was diagnosable at far better than chance level (81.25% correct, Fisher’s Exact Test P < 0.05) by appropriately trained sexologists. Clitoral orgasm history was unrelated to both ratings and to vaginal orgasm history. Exploratory analyses suggest that greater pelvic and vertebral rotation and stride length might be characteristic of the gait of women who have experienced vaginal orgasm (r = 0.51, P < 0.05). CONCLUSIONS: The discerning observer may infer women's experience of vaginal orgasm from a gait that comprises fluidity, energy, sensuality, freedom, and absence of both flaccid and locked muscles. Results are discussed with regard to previous research on gait, the effect of the musculature on sexual function, the special nature of vaginal orgasm, and implications for sexual therapy.

Green Hornet Looks Like A Movie

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 06:24:51 +0000

Green Hornet is one of those comic characters that everyone is at least familiar with on a name-recoginiation level, but really have no idea what it is and probably are confusing it with Green Lantern most of the time. Seriously guys, there’s no other colors? Anyway, the new movie version that is coming out is finally out of production and the trailer just hit the web, and yes people it is staring Seth Rogen. How can a chubby pot-head pass as a super-hero you ask? Well watch and decide for yourself, however I will say that the ass-kicking Asian sidekick Kato does look pretty badass and I’m sure makes up for whatever Rogen is unable. The coolest may be that Christoph Waltz, who played the Nazi Jew Hunter from Inglorious Basterds, is in it and if his part is even a tenth as good as his role in that it should be pretty awesome. Otherwise check out, but do note, why does Hollywood think it has to give away almost the whole movie in the trailer, get with it people. “Inception” anyone?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yo3eI-03OtU

Related Links:
Official Green Hornet Website

General McChrystal’s Bogus Journey

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:34:12 +0000

General Stanley McChrystal is having a bad day. A few months ago a reporter from Rolling Stone hung out with him and his top aides as they were meeting in Paris in a bid to keep the country involved in the Afghan conflict. The reporter was only supposed to be covering them for two days but thanks to an unruly Icelandic volcano it ended up being nearly a month, in which time he was around enough to become friendly with the whole lot of them. Add a few nights of having not much else to do but drink and you have reporter stumbling into a gold mine of quotes, stories, and feelings about the whole state of things. This wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t that General McChrystal is the top U.S. guy in Afghanistan and therefore talks with President Obama on the regular, and when it comes out you think your boss is kind of a weirdo dumbass, things can get kind of awkward. Anyway, if this guy still has a job next week be surprised, politics is a bitch.

The interview describes McChrystal, 55, as “disappointed” in his first Oval Office meeting with Obama. The article says that although McChrystal voted for Obama, the two failed to connect from the start.

McChrystal’s first meeting with Obama:

According to sources familiar with the meeting, “McChrystal thought Obama looked “uncomfortable and intimidated” by the roomful of military brass.

McChrystal’s first one-on-one meeting with Obama:

It was a 10-minute photo op,” says an adviser to McChrystal. “Obama clearly didn’t know anything about him, who he was. Here’s the guy who’s going to run his fucking war, but he didn’t seem very engaged. The Boss was pretty disappointed.”

McChrystal reserves special skepticism for Holbrooke, the official in charge of reintegrating the Taliban. “The Boss says he’s like a wounded animal,” says a member of the general’s team. “Holbrooke keeps hearing rumors that he’s going to get fired, so that makes him dangerous. He’s a brilliant guy, but he just comes in, pulls on a lever, whatever he can grasp onto. But this is COIN, and you can’t just have someone yanking on Shit.”

McChrystal’s staff is a handpicked collection of killers, spies, geniuses, patriots, political operators and outright maniacs. … They jokingly refer to themselves as Team America, taking the name from the South Park-esque sendup of military cluelessness, and they pride themselves on their can-do attitude and their disdain for authority.

the DC AM #82: “Oil And Babies Everywhere”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 15:41:51 +0000

There’s an oil spill in the Gulf. Fat women are having a bunch of unwanted kids. This is a very special DC AM in which we cover the bleak future that America may be facing, as giant-corporation indifference caused environmental pollution and drunken post-KFC binge sex-party consequence pollution may be setting us all up for a time when it is too late to turn back the clock. After that dark dark look at what could possibly be happening soon we take a look at what is already going on with the “Asexual Mafia” a group of scoundrels so un-scoundrel like that it’s a wonder why I just even refereed to them as such. Not sure what it is, well give the show a listen, if for no other reason than because you’re a good American who doesn’t want out shores to look like an oil-soaked daycare center.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Metric – Gold Guns Girls
Robert Randolph – Ain’t Nothing Wrong With That
Cage The Elephant – Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked

Bigfoot Has Beuatiful Hair

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 06:24:42 +0000

Bigfoot is an elusive beast. If you believe the hosts, guests, and callers of the late night radio program “Coast to Coast AM”, it’s some ancestor of man, a beloved pet of visiting extra-terrestrials, an inter-dimensional space pirate, or the love-child of Chewbacca and Koko, the sign-language speaking monkey. What is less clear is what is wrong with the people that report seeing it, whether it be attention-seeking white trash ladies on their way from the Dairy Queen or really lonely guys who have a worse hobby than World of Warcraft, the only thing to be sure about is they are a strange bunch. This all brings us to our latest report out of North Carolina, where a refined gentlemen of taste and class shows up on a newscast to tell his tale of chasing a bigfoot from his yard… prepare to go viral sir, prepare to go viral.

Casinos + No Free Drinks = WTF

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 11:08:34 +0000

Whenever you go to a casino there are a few things you can count on: losing money at a variety of games you only barely understand how to play, old people smoking on cigarettes as if just waiting around for the sweet release of death, and the ubiquitous waitress walking around shouting, “Drinks?!?! Cocktails?!?!” Now this last little bit was also a nice relaxer as you sit around grinding and waiting to make a move with a pair of bullets, mostly because you knew that gin and tonic was going to cost you nothing. Well it looks like there’s a trend afoot and the free drink may be a dying bonus. Yep it appears with the rash of changing laws allowing casinos, poker rooms, or slot machine halls in many places they had not been before that the free cocktail is not following. This change from the traditional ability to get a drink on demand for zero cash is mostly due to the locations of these new places in more ‘moralistic’ areas and the worry that if there is a place to get a free drink who is going to show up at a bar anymore. In any event this is a disturbing trend, mostly because what is the point of opening up a local poker spot if you can’t reliably drink seventeen Jack and Cokes and hour to at least get some payback when your wired Aces get cracked for $780… yea, still a little bitter maybe.

“I don’t want to stereotype,” Scoles said, “but I do believe Midwest culture supports not serving alcohol freely, on a 24/7 basis. It’s seen for the damage it does to communities.”

Kansas stands out even among Midwestern states; it forbids handing out free alcoholic drinks at any establishment. The state has a long history of alcohol restrictions, including statewide bans on happy hour specials and drinking games, such as beer pong.

“I’m sure it came out of the Prohibition era, the temperance and moderation,” said Tom Groneman, head of Kansas’ liquor control agency. “As a matter of fact, in Kansas we don’t allow happy hours. You have to have happy days.”

The economic interests of other businesses also play a part.

Restaurants, bars and taverns are among groups that have lobbied legislatures for laws preventing new casinos from offering free alcohol. It’s a business issue, not a moral one, said Jarrod Clabaugh, spokesman for the Ohio Restaurant Association.

“We were concerned it would create an uneven playing field,” Clabaugh said. “Free drinks improve the odds of people not leaving the casinos to go out, enjoy the community and dine at our members.”

Last year, the Illinois Casino Gaming Association even fought back some of its own. A riverboat casino was pushing a change in state law that would have allowed free drinks exclusively in floating gambling houses. The company argued complimentary cocktails would boost patronage in the wake of a statewide smoking ban.

the DC AM #81: “Married Life”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 14:50:32 +0000

Welcome back, that was quite a break, we promise to never let it happen again, or at least not for the next eighteen months when we again find the idea of a two-week bender a good idea. But whatever, here we are and let’s get going. This week we welcome back our favorite DC AM married couple, and delve into the modern world of dividing up household chores, finances, and who picks the porn movie to watch. It’s a damn expose on how exactly to survive a coin-flip’s chance of not divorcing right away over the fact your other has a cat named “Mister Snuggles!!!” After that we touch on the breakups that are occurring and their particularly damaging effects on the young men in this country; yes, I said young men. And to close we visit an issue that is at the top of our minds as of late, the “Asexual Mafia”. What is that you ask? Well listen and find out.

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Shiny Toy Guns – You Are The One
Arcade Fire – Keep The Car Running
Straylight Run – Hands In The Sky (Big Shot)

Are You Raising A Douchebag?

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 14:11:53 +0000

Douchebags are quickly becoming a staple of modern American society. Whether it’s the roided-out monster on the beach, the orange-skinned gangs of guys at the clubs, or the general appearance of guys in Ed Hardy shirts that you can find, well, wherever. But where do these douchebags come from? Well from all of us, of course, I mean someone has to be raising these colossal fucktards. Details magazine recently published an editorial regarding the subject, and we find it hard to disagree with much they said. The basic tenet is all the codling that guys on with today’s kids, particularly boys, leads to a dramatic re-interpretation of what life is actually about, and in this case, all about them. The world is to the extent of themselves for most of the douchebags roaming around, and it’s no wonder since their mommies reminding them how good they are seventy times a day, and since probably their dads were never around, they just eventually joined their white-trash moms on trips to the tanning salon. So look out people, we can and must make a stand against douchebags, and it starts by knocking the tit of their mouth BEFORE they turn eight.

But inevitably the moment arrives when all your doting and care come back on you in the form of a precocious little barb that reminds you in no uncertain terms of . . . you. It might be that his friend Jake’s eighth-birthday party was “unbelievably lame” or that “it’s weird that Brandon’s family flies first-class and we don’t,” or maybe it’s simply that “these taquitos taste like turd.”

It’s then that you must reckon with the real possibility that your drive to make little Johnny better, smarter, and hipper has merely turned him into a douchebag. Put it this way: If it’s your child, not you, who gets to choose your weekend brunch spot, or if he’s the one asking how the branzino is prepared, it’s probably time to take a hard look at your own behavior.

It’s not like we’re the first generation to turn out Frankenkinder. Since the dawn of time, parents have been dressing their kids in ridiculous sailor suits and dragging them on ski trips to Gstaad. But lately it feels like we’re scaling new heights as bad examples. We create parenting blogs that transform our preschoolers into fetishized celebrities. We subscribe to magazines that suggest buying a 5-year-old a $400 Marc Jacobs cashmere hoodie. We think it’s cute when our kids learn to text message (until we realize POS means “parent over shoulder”) and quietly rejoice when they can tell which Ramone is Dee Dee and which one is Joey.

Related Links:
Are You Raising a Douchebag?

We Have Been Slacking

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 13:50:53 +0000

Well well, it’s a been a while and no new posts on here, what the hell is going on? A hiatus, that’s what, we’re overworked podcasters who have finally decided to spend a week using all our vast internet fortunes have earned us, so it’s been nothing but caviar, cabanas in Maui, and boat loads of Tequila shots served by Miss Bikini Tropic finalists… it’s a rough life this internet audio broadcasting thing. But don’t fret, we’ll be back shortly with all the poignant commentary you’d expect, as well as cheap shots at the day’s news and events. Oh and also new drink recipes, we’ve been working hard on this one, you know, what with the cabana in Maui.

the DC AM #80: “3D Circle Jerk”

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 26 May 2010 05:17:10 +0000

Another live show, another smashing success. This week we broadcast live from the state of the art DC AM studios, covering all sorts of topical political issues, women’s rights and empowerment, religious and spirtual introspection, and most of all fun new recipes using whole bran… okay, none of that happened. We did manage to touch on 3D porn, all sorts of ways to not suck on a one night stand, how rape can ruin anyone’s life, and why why why are women so forgiving as far as men being physical disasters go. In related story women are too damn trusting and men are mammoth hunting psychopaths. So enjoy the show, enjoy our funniest voicemail winner, enjoy some old audio bits we haven’t done in a while, and in all enjoy the DC AM, the greatest little podcast there ever was.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Band Of Horses – Is There A Ghost
MGMT – Time to Pretend
The Temper Trap – Sweet Disposition
The Ting Tings – Great DJ
We Were Promised Jetpacks – Quiet Little Voices

Drinks And Links For Tonight’s Show

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 25 May 2010 14:57:56 +0000

Tonight at 10PM is our live show, with prizes for best voicemail, all kinds of interesting discussions, all kinds of dis-interesting arguments, and mostly drunken jokes and trying to make each other feel bad for existing… it should be awesome. Below are the drinks will be shooting each segment, and the collection of links to stories we’ll probably be talking about tonight if we ever get around to it. So check it out. For details on how to catch the live show click here.

Drinks For Tonight’s Show:

The Happy Hour Massacre – 1 oz. Jack Daniels, 1 oz. Vodka
Holy Fucking Dick – 1 oz. Firefly, 1 oz. Goldschläger
The Dawn On Pandora – 1/2 oz. Blue Curacao, 1/2 oz. Butterscotch Schanps, 1/2 oz. Rum

Links For Tonight’s Show:

For all the details on how to listen to the live show click here.

Panera Is Giving Away Everything

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 24 May 2010 15:37:40 +0000

Panera has always been one of the restaurants that falls somewhere between fast food and sit-down and wait style places. It’s also always been a place that feels like it should be healthy because it says organic everywhere but then you find out the Sierra Turkey is more calories than a Big Mac anyway, so what’s really the point. Well being ahead of the game as they always ware they are trying out a new economic model at one newly opened store: pay what you feel like it. That’s right, you go in, you order, you eat, and you pay only what you feel is fair. Now your first thought is yes, this has to be in some uppity white neighborhood where people can afford to pay when they don’t have to and everyone gets to feel better they are at some social commune kind of deal, and you’d be right. This will probably start out okay as they make 70% of what they’re used to but once teenage kids and ruffians who like taking advantage find this joint expect it to be closed within a month. This is not even to mention pot-heads of all ages devouring every cookie and pastry in the place and then waiting around for seconds, thirds, and fourths. Here’s to you Panera, hope the publicity stunt doesn’t cost you more than you expected it to.

Panera Bread Co. has reopened a downtown Clayton location as a nonprofit where customers can pay what they can afford.

“Take what you need, leave your fair share,” says a sign at the entrance of the Saint Louis Bread Company Cares Café. Patrons who can’t pay are asked to volunteer their time.

The café, which reopened Sunday as a nonprofit, has cashiers who provide receipts with suggested prices and direct customers to the store’s five donation boxes. The menu is the same, except for the day-old baked goods brought in from sister stores in the area.

“I’m trying to find out what human nature is all about,” Ron Shaich, who stepped down as Panera’s CEO last week but remains as chairman, told USA Today. “My hope is that we can eventually do this in every community where there’s a Panera.”

The location’s revenue was up 20 percent on opening day over the previous Sunday, he told the national newspaper. Shaich said he plans to open two more of the non-profit cafés in two more cities in the next six months, but declined to say where.

Related Links:
Panera: Pay what you can afford

the DC AM #79: “DC Goes Green”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 18 May 2010 12:01:33 +0000

And we’re back, did you miss us? This week we breakdown such a wide variety of subjects it’s hard to round them all up, but here’s going anyway. We investigate why unemployment centers would recommend webcam sex as a possible career move, if strippers discussing anything even remotely related to schools can be considered honest, why Playboy has decided you need to live under the illusion you can be smacked in the face by centerfold boobs, and what guy/girl differences we can count on for not just being funny but true. Oh, and apparently Washington, DC, your nations capital has decided to legalize medical marijuana, which has us wondering how long until a whole bunch of Senators start suddenly suffering from glaucoma. Give it a listen because you’re being told to, now go, do it!

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Eve 6 – Inside Out
Blues Traveler – Run-Around
Cage The Elephant – Aint No Rest For The Wicked

Funniest Voicemail Contest

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 17 May 2010 15:32:23 +0000

Win A $40 Amazon.com Gift Card Just By Leaving A Voicemail!

That’s right, it’s almost time for another live DC AM show so it’s time for another contest. This time we’re going all recorded audio on you and having our Funniest Voicemail Contest… yes, because voicemails are funny, we like judging things, and quite frankly we still have a phone number we rarely ever use. So read on below for all the details.

Leave Us A Funny Voicemail – The first step is simple, call into our voice mailbox at (571) 766-8714 and leave a funny voicemail. Funny is a relative word here, you can tell some knock-knock joke you heard, some disgusting sexist joke you heard, do an impression of somebody from Family Guy, praise our show, attack our show, or otherwise do whatever you think might get us to pick it as the winner. It being funny may not even matter as much as us just wanting to hear it over and over again.
Voicemail Entry Rules
- Keep your entry to no longer than 30 seconds and no less than 10 seconds. We can’t listen to a bible study and we’ll need more than you yelling “Hey douchebags!!!”, so try to keep it within the time frames.
- You can leave up to 3 voice mails. The more entries the more chances you have to win so give it a shot a few times trying different stuff out.
- Before you hang-up say your name and e-mail at the end of the message, we’ll edit it out before airing it. We’ll need to know who you are in order to recognize you as the winner, and don’t worry we’ll cut it out so it won’t be on the show.
Listen To The Live Show – We’ll be airing live Tuesday, May 25th at 10PM our awesome show, and tune in to see if you won. We’ll be airing our favorite voicemails on the show and then declaring the winner live as we pick it.

So that’s it, that’s all there is to it, call us in a few voicemails and you could pick yourself up a sweet $40 Amazon.com gift card, to spend on whatever you want, new headphones, new microphones, a case of redbull… well that’s what we’d spend it on anyway.

Click Here For Details On The Live Show

Puppets In Disguise = ROFL

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:57:24 +0000

Well it’s a Monday so that means the weekend just finished up and if the weekend brought about anything it was drinking, lots and lots of drinking. Also this weekend managed to check out Saturday Night Live and were pleasantly surprised to find a pretty good addition hosted by Alec Baldwin. The highlight of the night though wasn’t another game show sketch or some bit about a family that loves to full-on makeout kiss one another, instead it was Bill Heder’s “Stefon” character who is some kind of emo social-scene guy who knows all the awesome night hot spots. Anyway, this sketch ended up creating one of the more painful laughter sessions and led to as close to a literal interpretation of ROFL as possible, so go enjoy, just maybe not at work because it will weird explaining ALF in a trench coat to your boss.

And just for good measure they also did a pretty good Digital Short this week, Andy Samberg as a coked out nutjob… wait for the demon face, classic.

Disney Princesses Slut It Up

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 14 May 2010 12:50:43 +0000

The Disney cartoons have always been an odd bunch. More often than not the protagonist is a girl, generally one who is a princess, or will be, but doesn’t know it yet, and usually revolves around her finding some guy she hates at first but then gets along with and eventually marries. It’s actually no wonder that romantic comedies do so well still with adult women considering they share the exact same plot lines, but I digress, I’m sure you could make the same observations between Bug Bunny cartoons and actions flicks for guys. The more interesting thing to observe is that the Disney Princesses were always draw hot but not too hot, in that “She’s All That” is she or isn’t she hot kind of way (here’s a hint, take her glasses and books away, she’s hot). Anyway, artist J Scott Campbell decided to take a try at really slutting up the Disney universe and below are the images he came up with, so get past the fact that their narrow faces resemble rodents, and check them out.

Your Mom’s Voice Is An Antidepressant

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 13 May 2010 14:47:17 +0000

One of the greatest sounds in life is when you were in elementary school, wanted to go home to watch Disney Afternoon, faked a cough or some other dumb disease, lied to the the nurse, and got your mom on the phone to get you the hell out of there. When she finally said “okay, okay, I don’t believe you’re faking… mostly, I’ll be there in five minutes”, it was like the world peace had finally been reached and everything was right and good. Well it appears that the whole mom’s voice thing can actually be backed up by science, and even independent of wanting to ditch school for cartoons and giant home-made ice cream sundaes. In a new study scientists gathered a bunch of young girls and jacked up their stress levels by making them take tests in front of a room full of strangers. Afterwards some girls got to see their mothers face to face while others only spoke to them over the phone. After some before-and-after chemical analysis of their hormone levels it appears that a rise in Oxytocin, a stress fighter, was found in both instances, proving that when needed just the sound of the voice can be as much comfort as you need. Anyway, we’re out of here, time to go fake the flu… except this time it’s video games and larger glasses of Jack Daniels.

Once stressed, one-third of the girls were comforted in person by their mothers — specifically with hugs, an arm around the shoulders and the like. One-third were left watch an emotion-neutral 75-minute video. The rest were handed a telephone. It was mom on the line, and the effect was dramatic.

“The children who got to interact with their mothers had virtually the same hormonal response, whether they interacted in person or over the phone,” Seltzer says.

The girls’ levels of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” and strongly associated with emotional bonding, rose significantly and the stress-marking cortisol washed away.

“It was understood that oxytocin release in the context of social bonding usually required physical contact,” Seltzer says. “But it’s clear from these results that a mother’s voice can have the same effect as a hug, even if they’re not standing there.”

And the reprieve from stress or anxiety is a lasting one.

“It stays well beyond that stressful task,” Pollak says. “By the time the children go home, they’re still enjoying the benefits of this relief and their cortisol levels are still low.”

Playboy Gets All In Your Face

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 12 May 2010 08:21:10 +0000

For a lot of people who aren’t 15, there was once a day when porn wasn’t just a few clicks away, when you couldn’t find donkey-on-midget-on-lesbian-on-clown videos on demand, and you couldn’t do all that from the safety of a recliner and an iPad. Yes, there was once a day when you hunt down your dad’s Playboy, your uncle’s Penthouse, or worst case, the old torn to shreds copy of “Club Fetish” that someone left in the local forest that kids on the playground had formed urban legends about. Well we’ve come a long way since then, and with all the flash video sex you can find everywhere the allure, or the need, for a printed magazine seems as relevant as cave drawings. Well strike back for Playboy magazine, at least for this month, who have decided to print their Playmate of the Year pictorial in super-awesome blue and red 3D. That’s right, 3-dimensional ass, 3-dimensional titties, and most importantly 3-dimensional likes and dislikes, because we all really want to know that she “hates cream cheese on bagels!?!?!?” Anyway, we here at the DC AM will probably pick this up and check it out… for the articles of course.

“In today’s print environment you have to create newsstand events,” said the editorial director of the Chicago-based magazine, Jimmy Jellinek. “Marge Simpson was one of those.”

Playboy certainly must do something to get more people, especially younger people, to buy a magazine that has seen circulation plummet from 3.5 million in 2006 to 1.5 million today.

Jellinek said he hopes the issue featuring centerfold Hope Dworaczyk in 3-D also reminds people that for all the infatuation with the Internet, there is nothing quite like having a magazine in your hands.

“People want things that last and have meaning,” he said.

The thought hadn’t occurred to Hefner. But, now that you mention it:

“This particular picture is one example of how books and magazines are different (than computer images),” he said. “You can hold it in your hands, save them, and as Dad used to, put them under the mattress.”

Hefner notes there also are plenty of good old-fashioned 2-D pictures of Dworaczyk — the 51st Playmate of the Year, for those counting at home.

Related Links:
Playboy readers get 3-D centerfold

the DC AM: Live Show Tuesday, May 25th, 10PM

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 11 May 2010 15:09:34 +0000

It’s time again for another groundbreaking moment in the annals of broadcast history, and no that’s not a reference to ass-play, it’s time for another DC AM live show! That’s right, gather your favorite adult beverages, a few friends, and get ready for what will have to go down in the Guinness book of fake-radio internet shows. We’ll talking about all the things you’ve come to love, the bars, the drinking, the waking up in a strange place smelling of vomit, and NOT your vomit. So saddle up internet cowboys, and join us Tuesday, May 25th, at 10PM for the DC AM’s fourth live show.

All the details:

When – Tuesday, May 25th, at 10PM
Where – Live on our USTREAM.tv page, so visit USTREAM.tv and search “the DC AM” to listen and more
What – the DC AM’s fourth live broadcast, featuring all the comedy, insightful political debates, and mock executions you’ve come to expect and more.
How To Call In – At some point during the show we’ll be taking live phone calls, so if you’d like to add your two cents, then call (571) 766-8714.

All the links:

To listen on USTREAM.tv – http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-dc-am
To register and chat on USTREAM.tv – http://www.ustream.tv/login-signup
To follow us on Twitter – http://twitter.com/thedcam
To fan us on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/thedcam

So be there or be square, or even a circle if you like, but just make sure to be tuned to USTREAM.tv on Tuesday, May 25th, at 10PM.

Click Here For Details On Funniest Voicemail Contest

the DC AM #78: “Shave And A Whiskey Haircut”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 11 May 2010 13:08:47 +0000

This week we went a little lean, tightened our belts, and kept things simple… I swear it’s not from a lack of sleep, drinking too much lately, or pondering zergling vs. zealot rushes in some unnamed still-in-beta video game. I digress. When we do get into the swing of things we check out some rules for people to save cash when they constantly find themselves without, Original Jack spins a tale of douchebaggery and bitchiness occurring at an otherwise friendly neighborhood barber, and try in figure out the science behind getting pregnant from watching a 3D porn film. If that last bit is true than it really makes re-watching “Avatar” a scary proposition, don’t need any fugly tall blue children running around. Give it a listen, I did, but that may because I have to review and censor every word.

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Metric – Guns Gold Girls

Jay Leno Is A Douchebag

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 07 May 2010 12:09:59 +0000

Last week we covered why Conan O’Brien is not a douchebag. The basic lesson is that had he been in Jay Leno’s situation, having publicly passed off The Tonight Show to another person, and then be forced into a position where he would have to steal it back, Conan would’ve declined and gone someplace else. Well obviously Jay didn’t, hence his douchebag-ness. Well this week his ability to be the least funny, most cowardly, back-stabbing phony of all time was solidified. In a monologue segment involving the failed New York City car bomber he showed some screencaps of the guys fake Facebook page. This big was already not funny, but added on top was a slipped in joke about what groups the guy was joined with, in this case “Al Qaeda” and “Team Coco”. That’s right Jay Leno did an unfunny joke about Team Coco being a bunch of terrorists, but what’s way way worse is he never actually says it himself, just puts it on the screen as some kind of latent “fuck you!” without the balls to actually say the joke aloud himself. Jay Leno is a douchebag.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Fervor

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 06 May 2010 08:14:41 +0000

Normally we have funny quips here on the site. We like to comment. We like to mock. We like to make lightheartedness a way of life. Anyway, none of that here. Watch this damn video because we are telling you to. Now. Do it. It’s random, weird, and funny if you get what a neutrino is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rjaNuqYl24

Related Links:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Fervor

War Porn Is Not Really Like Porn At All

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 05 May 2010 14:30:26 +0000

There’s a disturbing new trend out there called “war porn” and apparently a lot of people are getting up in arms over it, saying it’s sickly addictive, graphic, and psychologically unhealthy. Now before you’re like “what!?! porn is ftw!!!”, this isn’t porn just set in some battle scene like “G.I. Ho” or “Pearl Necklace Harbor”, oh no, this is something completely different. “War porn” is actually a new internet underground thing, although getting more mainstream everyday, of the videos from gunship cams before they light up a bunch of insurgents, the uncensored original pics from Abu Ghraib, or the postmortem photos after a cruise missile as hit. And it swings both ways, there are an equal number of videos from the other side showing captured Americans getting their heads carved off, celebrating a downed transport helicopter, or dark disturbing imagery from recruitment film. In all a lot of the researches on the subject are alarmed at the number of people who are watching the stuff, most of whom are completely detached from the real combat or the tragedy, but aren’t sure yet on the consequences of viewing it. We ourselves think we’ll wait a bit to decide on what it all means, but I think everyone can agree any videos set to Drowning Pool songs can only get cooler as a result.

the DC AM #77: “Bars Be Banning Bitches”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 04 May 2010 04:38:49 +0000

A new week and a whole new round of discoveries, misadventures, and interesting policy debates. We talk a little hookah and local drinking spots, get into exactly what the best ways are to keep up with your co-workers, especially when you’re a woman who may lack a strong enough drinking problem, and investigate how a girl can be banned from literally every bar in her own country. Oh also we try and figure out why the global supply of sperm seems to dwindling and in the process discover that Original Jack has no idea how a vasectomy works at all, which brings up a whole ‘nother round of questions if he even should. So saddle up, grab a drink, or maybe a few drinks, and start listening, it’s your single greatest goal in life.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Second Shot – Face
Shiny Toy Guns – You Are The One
Audioslave – Shadow On The Sun

Silly 90’s Hackers

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 03 May 2010 14:39:55 +0000

Hackers have always been one of those misunderstood segment of society where unless you are one or know one you probably don’t understand them much at all. I guess that makes them sort of like emo kids in that way. Well it’s always interesting to see the take on hackers in the popular culture, or even more specifically in office awareness tapes from the early 1990’s that are warning you about the dangers of these cyber stalkers. So take a gander, it’s a wonder the Angelina Jolie movie ever even got made if this was the sort of guy the template of a hacker was even considered to be. He’s not even wearing clothes that make him look like he just left a laser tag arena ever, sheesh, they know nothing about these guys.

(Any comparison between hackers and emo kids was simply for entertainment purposes and should not be taken seriously, especially if you are a hacker who knows how to take down blog/podcasting sites. If you’re just an emo kid then go fuck yourself and clean up your hair.)

HACKING IS EASY! from Airwave Ranger on Vimeo.

Conan O’Brien Is Not A Douchebag

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:55:15 +0000

The whole Conan vs. Jay thing has been covered ad nauseum in the media. In fact if you go back and listen to the DC AM #64: “Scene Girls” we on the show might’ve even done a little funny skit about the whole thing. But the principle argument remains the same, NBC got all greedy and wanted to keep both guys with them, Jay didn’t really want to go and so did a shitty 10PM show which got the boot, forced back to 11:30 and essentially Conan was going to get demoted back to midnight. Well we know how that ended. The point is Jay always maintained it was just business and he had a contract and Conan was getting screwed too, and blah blah blah. Jay you could’ve stepped down and still gotten your money, that was the way to contract was written, but you’re a fucking douchebag. Luckily for us all Conan is not, and he’s appearing on 60 minutes this weekend to say so. Here’s an excerpt.

CBS has released an excerpt from Sunday night’s highly anticipated “60 Minutes” interview with Conan O’Brien:

“He went and took that show back, and I think in a similar situation, if roles had been reversed, I know — I know me, I wouldn’t have done that,” O’Brien says. “If I had surrendered ‘The Tonight Show’ and handed it over to somebody publicly and wished them well — and then … six months later. But that’s me, you know. Everyone’s got their own, you know, way of doing things.”

Asked by correspondent Steve Kroft what he would have done, O’Brien says, “Done something else, go someplace else. I mean, that’s just me.”

O’Brien eventually left NBC, deciding not to play second-fiddle to Leno. He says he didn’t see the point in giving his all in a relationship that seemed to have no future.

“I think this relationship is going be toxic and maybe we just need to go our separate ways,” he says. “That’s really how it felt to me. … And I started to feel that I’m not sure these people even really want me here. … I can’t do it [anymore].”

the DC AM #76: “Grandpa Adventures”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:58:59 +0000

What a wonderful week it has been and the only way it could get any better is for a brand new podcast to suddenly appear for your listening enjoyment. Well, your wish has been granted. This week Original Jack shares his tales of helping his Grandpa move down from up north, including why this caused him to starve, be de-entertained, and ultimately come to learn that road trips and old people are a somewhat dicey situation. After that we touch on how we are facing a national security threat in the form of kids enjoying fruit snacks and Halo more than, you know, moving. And lastly we delve into the often misunderstood world of the girl gamer, and how this could spell disaster for your love life. So get to it people, these shows won’t be around forever, well actually they probably will be, but still.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Straylight Run – I Dont Want This Anymore
Robert Randolph – Ain’t Nothing Wrong With That
Metric – Gold Guns Girls

Twitter Is Not Without Some Rules

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:01:05 +0000

The web is all over with social media these days, you can Facebook things, tweet things, digg things, stumble things, mixx things, and if you’re an old creepy person who hasn’t figured out it’s dead yet, you can still MySpace things. Oh that reminds me, make sure to visit http://facebook.com/thedcam and http://twitter.com/thedcam and social media us while you’re at it. Well with all this modern internet-ing of things it’s important to remember that like life, you can’t just go willy-nilly off-the-walls with this stuff, there are protocols to use if you don’t want to be the odd guy out. So in that vein the guys over at techni.com came up with a shortlist of six simple rules to follow if you decide that tweeting is your new way of life, so take a gander and see what you’re think. And again, if you’re still on MySpace feel free to ignore all of this, there’s no one left on there to care about offending.

1. OVERTWEETING

@Example: omg, about to eat lunch!
@Example: omg, eating lunch!
@Example: omg, almost done lunch!
@Example: omg, bathroom break!

Twitter makes it real, real easy to tell people what you’re doing. I mean, so easy. I was absolutely delighted when the sign up process for Twitter took all of five seconds, and I proceeded immediately to do things like excitedly inform my followers every time I pooped. I quickly realized, however, that while Twitter is nothing if not a platform for saying absolutely ridiculous and inconsequential things, there is such a thing as overkill.

Anyone steeped in the Twitterverse is likely using an app (I use Tweetie) to feed them contact updates – overtweeting, besides annoying the hell out of a user by notifying them incessantly of your mundane activities, it pushes potentially useful updates and fun web content by others down the list, perhaps not to be seen at all.

Solution: Just relax! We still know you’re there, even if you’re not updating every four minutes. After all, the most interesting guy at the party is the mysterious, cryptic one who keeps his mouth shut. …At least don’t tell anyone about your bathroom breaks.

2. MULTI-TWEETS

@Example: So there I was, at the hardware store, trying to decide between the ten-piece metric wrench set and a new pair of hedge clippers when suddenly I received…
@Example: …a call from my buddy Klauss. Klauss and I go way back, he was on my freshman rugby team, and he called to tell me that…

Sometimes, you’ve got a lot to say, and sometimes, you just wanna say it through Twitter. Twitter’s design demands 140 characters per message, and it’s that way for a reason – to provide one’s followers concise, streamlined, and (hopefully) well-constructed bytes of information. The 140-character limit forces a user to thoughtfully truncate their musings into catchy quips that encapsulate a complete thought. Thoughts like, “If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?”   Y’know, stuff like that.

However, frequently, through creative use of the ellipse (. . .), some of my followees (and I’m willing to bet some of yours, too) will cheat and break a message up into two, or even three tweets. Besides corrupting the spirit of Twitter, this is a potentially risky move. Twitter is a fast-paced environment – do you think people are going to follow you after seeing “…and then I ate the whole thing!” Answer: no, they are probably not.

Solution: Streamline your messages! If we want to know more about a topic, we’ll ask; that’s what @username is for! If the thought absolutely cannot be condensed into Twitter form, why not write it elsewhere and provide a link? Simple.

3. PERSONAL CONVERSATIONS

@ExampleA: @ExampleB omg, totally saw Josh today.
@ExampleB: @ExampleA Isn’t he SO CUTE?
@ExampleA: @ExampleB Ya, and he was wearing the most adorable short shorts

This instance is a bit more rare, but every bit as aggrivating: those people who just don’t understand that Twitter is not an instant messenger service.   Y’ever follow two people who also follow each other, allowing you to see their @messages to one another? Y’ever get utterly bombarded by @messages between the two, deciding what to wear to a party, or asking how to make a delicious lobster thermidor? Isn’t it exhausting? I wouldn’t bring a megaphone to a restaurant to tell my friend across the table I’m having knuckle surgery in October. Neither should you.

Besides needlessly informing others about things they’re not meant to be informed about, again, this pushes perhaps more interesting information way, way down your followers’ Twitter feeds, and makes for an awful lot of frowny faces. Twitter has the Direct Message feature for a reason – to separate your public and personal tweets!

Solution: MSN, AIM, YahooIM, Skype, ICQ, Facebook Chat, email, a telephone, snail mail, morse code, smoke signals, two cans and a string, or real life conversation. Actually, nobody does that anymore. Come to think of it, nobody uses ICQ, either. Just find a way to talk privately!

4. GETTING CRANKY OVER ‘FOLLOWBACKS’

– You are now being followed by @ExampleA.

@ExampleA: @ExampleB y u not flolw me >:C

– You are no longer being followed by @ExampleA.

There’s nothing like getting new followers – knowing you’re important enough to have someone willingly choose to give you their attention every time you decide to say something silly is a satisfying feeling, innit? But there are those who follow simply for the purpose of hoping you’ll ‘follow them back’, and can get vocally angry if you don’t. If you’re one of these people, chill out – it’s your prerogative to decide to listen to Shaquille O’Neal make ‘yo momma’ jokes, just as it’s his to listen to yours. Don’t attack the Shaq.

To be fair, the ‘followback’ is sort of an old ritual of Twitter etiquette in its own right, and is still considered by many to be a simple act of courtesy; but, as Twitter becomes more and more The Way of The Internet, it’s not practiced nearly as often. It’s like the powdered wig of Twitter.  ..or something.

Solution: There’s another way to get followers – be interesting. Have something to say! Tweet! Be heard!

5. BEING A TRENDWHORE

@Example: Guys I’m totally having the BEST SANDWICH EVER. #justinbieber

Your sandwich, of course, has very likely little, if anything, to do with child pop stars, and as such you shouldn’t be using their names to boast about your ingestion prowess.

Assuming your followers aren’t ones to follow the Trending Topics anyway, this isn’t much of a problem, but misrepresenting your content under the guise of something else is still a really sneaky thing to do.

Solution: Be honest. Justin Bieber fans are going to be pretty angry once they realize all you tweet about are really awesome sandwiches. Even if they are REALLY awesome sandwiches.

6. FACEBOOK INTEGRATION

Twitter: Going to the Lakers game tonight to see @The_Real_Shaq!
Facebook: Going to the Lakers game tonight to see @The_Real_Shaq!

I’d like to point out that this last one is based entirely on personal preference on the part of the follower, and as such is often not a case of Twitter misuse. But even then, it can be a little screwy. Here’s why.

For the ambitious social networker, there’s applets for both Twitter and Facebook that allow the cross-pollination of the other service with your messages. In a lot of cases, this is very useful – small businesses, celebrities, musicians, and other notable figures alike can interface with their fans at the touch of a button. But where this feature crosses streams with the typical Twitter user, it becomes a much more harrowing experience for the follower who is also Facebook friends with the followee. Every message is read twice! This can, of course, be turned off on the Facebook side, but if you’d rather not have all your Facebook friends ignore and mute you, you may need a better strategy.

Solution: Make sure you have a reason to be broadcasting on all channels. While the feature totally rules, it’s not meant for everyone, and could lead to a lonely social network life!

Kickball Leagues Get All Annoying And Stuff

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 15:35:20 +0000

Lately the big fashionable thing to do as young twenty or thirty-something living in or near a big city is to join up in a local kickball or dodge ball leauge. The great thing about these leagues is they really have nothing to do with the sport, in fact the word “sport” is used as loosely as possible here, because generally it’s hard to be very athletic when drunk. That’s right, these leagues are really fronts for alcoholics to get together with other alcoholics and create the shield of playing game as an excuse to drink. Needless to say the DC AM supports this wholeheartedly. The one caveat being you should at least be able to handle your alcohol and not behave like a 12 year-old who just stumbled on to a case of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Apparently a league out of St. Louis got banned from the park they played out of due to some wild partying, nudity, yelling at people not even involved in the game. The league, with team names like “It’s All Pink in the Middle” and “Prom Night Dumpster Babies”, is trying to appeal in order to get the park back but in the meantime they have no place else to go. We’d suggest cutting out the middle man and just throwing the stupid kick balls in the garbage and head to the closest Buffalo Wild Wings. And now with some reconsideration, fuck it, partying and nudity is all kickball should be about anyway.

The 2,500 members of the BigBalls Kickball League that plays each weekend in Tower Grove Park will have to find a new destination to act like drunken grade-schoolers.

As St. Louis Public Radio reports, the south city park has officially banned the league due to its inappropriate behavior.

Says park director John Karel: “When something is consistently showing a pattern of abusive language, public urination, nudity, and disrespect for park rangers we don’t have a choice, this thing was getting out of hand.”

The league’s director, meanwhile, suggests it’s the victim of a witch hunt, telling the radio station: “It’s a beer league, they knew that going in. Sometimes people act like fools and we’re there to stop it. But when people are sitting on balconies with binoculars looking for incidents they’re going to find some.”

Slurpees, Big Bites, And Beer

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 15:21:42 +0000

7-11’s are fantastic places. You can get yourself a cold soda on hot summer day, a burrito for that late night hunger craving, and a pack of condoms to bang that sketchy chick you just met at the party. But probably what 7-11 is most reliable for is grabbing a quick six-pack or case of beer so you can sulk yourself in a sea of suds as your team again gets obliterated on the field… remember this is the “DC” AM. But now 7-11 is upping it’s game and is trying to get in on the action that Miller, Bud, and Coors have been into for years, usually by way of 7-11. That’s right your favorite local Big Bite dispensary is now going to sell it’s own line of beer, dubbed “GameDay” it will feature a “Light” and “Ice” versions, with price points coming right in under the more famous brands. Now we understand a lot of people will probably stick with their brand of choice and ignore this one, but as you may or may not the DC AM enjoys a drink from time to time, so consider us in. Now we just need to get a “GameDay” light-up neon sign for our living room, the Budweiser one got smashed weeks ago in a fight over who was the best Ducktales character. Launchpad McQuack by the way.

BERKELEY, Calif. – Quick, what’s the third-largest beer retailer in the U.S.? Chances are you didn’t know it’s 7-Eleven. Now, the convenience chain is getting a step closer to the suds it sells, rolling out a store-brand beer billed as a premium brew at a budget price.

The launch, happening this month at stores nationwide, aims to take advantage of the current economic downturn — a long, cold one for beer sales.

“We’re really working back from the customers’ needs,” said Dan Skinner, 7-Eleven category manager for alcoholic beverages. “They’re looking for exceptional quality at a value price.”
Story continues below ↓advertisement | your ad here

Game Day beer follows the introduction of the Yosemite Road private-label wines in 7-Elevens last year. The idea of the home of Slim Jims and Slurpees turning sommelier had some scoffing. But Skinner said the launch has gone well, with the wines holding the No. 1 and No. 2 spots in the chain’s wine sales.

the DC AM #75: “Facebook And Facebook”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 13:45:39 +0000

Well, well, well, another week and another show. This time we’re digging deep, deep into the world of Facebook. Yes, we know, we’ve sort of done this before, we’ve sort of already covered this, we’ve sort of been plugging the DC AM on Facebook forever now… but so what, it’s interesting, it’s current, and apparently if you’re hard up for porn and lonely then Facebook suffices in a pinch. We also go around the table with a few stories of our own, Original Jack actually breaks down and tweets over his Facebook hatred, Healy admits he is a psychopathic weirdo, and we discover that if you absolutely hate your own relationship with someone special you should be as public as possible about it on your profile page. It’s a can’t miss. So buckle up and get your social media on, start listening.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Johnny Cash – The Man Comes Around
Fuzzface – How He Got That Girl
Blues Traveler – Run-Around

Sand Castles FTW

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 14:57:43 +0000

Sand Castles are fascinating things. For most of us they never get past the filling a bucket up on some beach during summer vacation, and then flipping it over to create at what best can be called a “castle” and at worst a weird hunk of sloppy mud that will spill over within in minutes. But that was then, and if you’re the sort person who has never happy with said sloppy pile of dirty beach runoff, then this sort of task can only be now considered full blown art, and damn impressive at that. So, take a look won’t you at some of the best creations in the world and if you want some more hit the link at the bottom. We promise none of these will have tiny hermit crabs crawling out pissed you turned their home into something you can yell “Mommy, mommy, look, look, look what I did!!!” at.

Red Dead Awesomeness

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 08:04:40 +0000

We here at the DC AM aren’t the biggest gamers in town. Sure Original Jack likes to go on a raid or two sometimes, and yes, AM will occasionally humiliate girls over a game of Wii Bowling, but overall we aren’t the sort of Blizzcon attending, Attack of the Show watching freaks that many in the fanboy video game community find themselves as. Well that title may be held up for at least for a little bit for the upcoming release of “Red Dead Redemption” scheduled for May. This game is basically Grand Theft Auto set in the old west, but not all shitty and small as “Gun” was a few years ago. We imagine this will be great. While it may will be true you won’t be able to steal cars and run over innocent pedestrians we do look forward to being able to steal horses and shooting innocent townsfolk, which really may be a step up after all. Plus instead of making cars rock by banging local streetwalkers you’ll now be able to actually visit pleasant southern-speaking comfort ladies in a variety of whorehouses, all of whom we assume look something like Jodie Foster in Maverick. In all this game looks to be epic, check out the trailer below and let us know what you think.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOpKJ6hjPIM

Facebook Is The New Pornotube

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 13:13:28 +0000

Porn is one of the great unifiers of modern technology, always pressing forward, finding new ways to exist and to flourish, and invading every conceivable form of media we know today. At first porn helped push forward the VCR and cassettes, then it helped spurn this whole thing we call the Internet into existence, and even more recently has found it way into all kinds of mobile app stores so you’re never more than a few buttons away from a cheerleader getting taken doggstyle by a guy in a a luchador mask. Well it seems that their may be a strange trend afoot, away from porn and all the free five-minute clips a broke college student or creepy balding guy could ever want, and that move is to of all places Facebook. That’s right, The Daily Beast’s Amanda Marcotte has done a little survey of her own to find that a number of guys are now using the social networking site as the best place to find free pictures with which to take liberties on themselves with, and although they may not be the same hardcore midget scenes the Internet has made passe, they are more than likely people who you actually know and could theoretically have sex with. Also, as Amanda points out, whereas you can’t stare for too long at the girl at the club wearing the non-existent mini-skirt and bra sufficing as a shirt, online it’s not only possible it’s encouraged when the young girl decides that just has to be her new profile pic. In any event this move has to be troubling, if people are giving up porn for pictures from the most recent frat party schoolgirl contest postings, how long until the World of Warcrafters give up 3D graphics for the joy only a MUD can bring… I know, what the hell is a MUD anyway?

But my friend told me guys aren’t looking for dirty pictures on Facebook, they’re looking at ordinary pictures of women, the kind that you and I associate with Facebook. Women partying with friends. Women goofing off in the park. Women sitting at home trying on a pose that’s serious and deep. At worst, they’re looking at women in Facebook-approved sexy poses, or pictures from the beach.

“I think the theory is that the women on Facebook are, if nothing else, real,” he explained, “and often people that you might have a real-life attraction to.”

Statistically speaking, many men do appear to be using Facebook to look at women. Seventy percent of activity on social networking sites is people looking at pictures. Two thirds of pictures looked at are of women, and the single most common activity on Facebook is men looking at pictures of women. Facebook did not return a call querying about men using the social networking site to jump-start their fantasizing.

the DC AM #74: “Running Club”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 07:52:45 +0000

Wow, so what’s up everyone? Do you ever go running? Do you ever drink? Do you ever do either in a group? Well then you may need to join a running club and our very own Original Jack shares his experiences with the one he recently hung out with. Listen in for more on that as well tales of teenage strippers, why you should compliment every bus driver you ever meet, and why drunk women are often found holding graduate degrees and waving them in your faces. Also, for anyone in the nerd set we break down what kind of douchebaggery is occurring online these days. In all it’s touchstone of American culture so get started listening.

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Okkervil River – Our Life Is Not A Movie Or Maybe
Arcade Fire – Keep The Car Running
Straylight Run – Hands In The Sky (Big Shot)

Mario Is Flashed Out

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 15:02:41 +0000

Okay, today’s post is less witty, insightful, or relevant socially to today’s ever changing world. Instead it’s all about Mario, Super Mario, or “the plumbing guy who fights turtle monsters” as I call him. Below are a bunch of links to some cool games where you can play all kinds of Mario and Mario-relatedness, instead of you know, doing your job or having a social life. Have fun!

Tuper Tario Tros – We were playing some Xbox Live games during lunchtime. Guillaume was really excited about “Lucidity” and the idea of playing a “Tetris platform” game… but he finally felt disapointed by the concept.
The People’s Mario – Based on that silly Rumor saying mario had subliminal communist propaganda.
Bullet Bill – Hey guys, I’ve finally learned how to make games. So here is my first game, Bullet Bill. You control a Bullet Bill with the arrow keys through each of the 8 levels, hitting either Mario, Luigi or the flag at the end. It’s ment to be challenging so hopefully it is.
Super Mario 63 – Super Mario 63 is a fan-game inspired by Nintendo’s Super Mario 64. Many levels and features are based upon it and other of Nintendo’s games, but a variety of them are completely original. Among them include a detailed storyline, ability to play as Luigi, a highly customizable Level Designer with sharable codes, three different FLUDD Power-ups, four different power-caps, and 64 Shine Sprites & 64 Star Coins to collect.

Five Guys Goes Big

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 15:31:30 +0000

There’s a lot of burger restaurants these days, and I’m talking beyond the usual McDonalds and Burger King. You’ve got Fatburger, Ray’s Hell Burger, and the now reigning and king-pimp of all, Five Guys. Five Guys started out as local place with a couple of kids and one dad who funded what was to be the as simple as possible burger place: just meat with toppings and cut up potatoes as fries. No frills, nothing. And it is now a $400 million dollar-plus venture, moving way beyond the original idea of just “five guys” serving you food. And good for them, the food rocks and it’s from the DMV which as we all know is the best place ever… or at least for being the home of awesome burger places. Go fuck yourself In-n-Out Burger.

Instead, we used their college tuition to open a burger joint. Ocean City had 50 places selling boardwalk fries, but only one place always has a 150-foot line — Thrashers. They serve nothing but fries, but they cook them right — high-quality potato, peanut oil. That impressed me. I thought a good hamburger-and-fry place could make it, so we started with a takeout shop in Arlington, Virginia.

Our lawyer said, “You need a name.” I had four sons — Matt, Jim, Chad are from my first marriage, and Ben from my second to Janie, who has run our books from Day One. So I said, “How about Five Guys?” Then we had Tyler, our youngest son, so I’m out! Matt and Jim travel the country visiting stores, Chad oversees training, Ben selects the franchisees, and Tyler runs the bakery.

Three days before we opened, I was still working as a trader in stocks and bonds and was in a hotel for a meeting in Pittsburgh. I found a book in the nightstand, next to the Bible, about JW Marriott — he had an A&W stand that he converted and built into the Hot Shoppes chain. He said, Anyone can make money in the food business as long as you have a good product, reasonable price, and a clean place. That made sense to me.

We figure our best salesman is our customer. Treat that person right, he’ll walk out the door and sell for you. From the beginning, I wanted people to know that we put all our money into the food. That’s why the décor is so simple — red and white tiles. We don’t spend our money on décor. Or on guys in chicken suits. But we’ll go overboard on food.

Most of our potatoes come from Idaho — about 8 percent of the Idaho baking potato crop. We try to get our potatoes grown north of the 42nd parallel, which is a pain in the neck. Potatoes are like oak trees — the slower they grow, the more solid they are. We like northern potatoes, because they grow in the daytime when it is warm, but then they stop at night when it cools down. It would be a lot easier and cheaper if we got a California or Florida potato.

Most fast-food restaurants serve dehydrated frozen fries — that’s because if there’s water in the potato, it splashes when it hits the oil. We actually soak our fries in water. When we prefry them, the water boils, forcing steam out of the fry, and a seal is formed so that when they get fried a second time, they don’t absorb any oil — and they’re not greasy.

Our Universe Is Stuck In A Hole

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 13:20:50 +0000

Physics is weird. It’s one of things that we all take for granted that works: drop an apple and it falls down, drop a stone in a lake it ripples the water, and of course build a flux capacitor and you can back and forth through time. Well physicists are always working around the clock to find the next idea that will blow our minds and they may have done just that with a new explanation for why our universe is expanding. After studying general relativity and it’s existence as relating to the unobservable nature of particles passing the event horizon of a black hole, physicists are now formulating the idea that perhaps this is because our universe itself is the event horizon, i.e. the wormhole, i.e. the Einstein-Rosen Bridge that is linking the pathways inside of a much larger universe. This, they say, would help explain the expansion since as the creation of universe would have to be formulated by a so-called “white hole” which would operate under the exact opposite conditions of black hole therefore expanding in space-time rather than shrinking it. Anyway, it’s fun stuff to think about, or at the very least get really stoned and then blow your mind repetitiously.

In studying the radial motion through the event horizon (a black hole’s boundary) of two different types of black holes — Schwarzschild and Einstein-Rosen, both of which are mathematically legitimate solutions of general relativity — Poplawski admits that only experiment or observation can reveal the motion of a particle falling into an actual black hole. But he also notes that since observers can only see the outside of the black hole, the interior cannot be observed unless an observer enters or resides within.

“This condition would be satisfied if our universe were the interior of a black hole existing in a bigger universe,” he said. “Because Einstein’s general theory of relativity does not choose a time orientation, if a black hole can form from the gravitational collapse of matter through an event horizon in the future then the reverse process is also possible. Such a process would describe an exploding white hole: matter emerging from an event horizon in the past, like the expanding universe.”

A white hole is connected to a black hole by an Einstein-Rosen bridge (wormhole) and is hypothetically the time reversal of a black hole. Poplawski’s paper suggests that all astrophysical black holes, not just Schwarzschild and Einstein-Rosen black holes, may have Einstein-Rosen bridges, each with a new universe inside that formed simultaneously with the black hole.

Scrabble Now Recognizes Jesus

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:16:20 +0000

Scrabble is one of those games a lot of people have but it seems like no one ever plays, unless you’re the sort of person who does play it, in which case it’s also probably the only game you ever play. Well to you and the linguistics world at large a big change is looming: Scrabble is allowing proper nouns. That’s right, proper nouns, a fancy explanation for what us dumb people like to call names of things, is finally being dropped in the world of nerdy dictionary lovers. So in the future be on the lookout for Scrabble word drops like Oprah, TPain, and Shatner, which really has been missing from the game for way, way too long. Anyway we’re going back to play Number Munchers now, fighting polynomials was always more fun anyway.

Toy makers Mattel risk the fury of thousands of highly literate wordsmiths today as they prepare a shake-up of the Scrabble rules to allow proper nouns such as Jesus (12 points), Topeka (12 points) and iPad (7 points).

The rules of the famous anagram game have remained the same since it was first trademarked in the US by Alfred Butts in 1948. However, Mattel has made the controversial changes in order to bring the game up to date and encourage more people to play Scrabble.

“These changes will provide a great new twist on the old formula. People who are already fans will enjoy the changes but we will still be selling a board with the original rules,” a Mattel spokeswoman told The Daily Record.

New high scoring combinations will include Jay-Z (23 points), Lexulous (15 points), Xerxes (20 points) and Kyrgyzstan (29 points).

Gyles Brandreth, Honorary President of the Association of British Scrabble Players told The Daily Telegraph: “The joy of Scrabble is that you can play as you please. When I play, it’s with a normal dictionary and I like to play with people who understand the words they are using. I play for the love of language. The modern player plays to win – and will outscore me every time.”

Mr Brandreth accepted that using proper nouns broadened the scope of Scrabble to allow competitive players the chance to broaden their word scores. However, British Scrabble Champion Craig Beevers was unhappy with the announcement: “It’s a gimmick. It’s fine for people to play whatever rules they want at home for fun but they shouldn’t interfere with the serious players.”

Finally, We Capture A Yeti

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 13:32:11 +0000

The Loch Ness Monster is bullshit, Ghosts don’t exist, and Vampires are now just pussified movie stars. But luckily for all of us and our love of monster flicks, the Yeti may have been found. Recently hunters in China stumbled across an animal which no one could identify and seems to have physical characteristics from a variety of of species. It does sort of suck that they’ve decided to call it a Yeti since the thing looks nothing like “Harry And The Hendersons”, but it’s sort of exciting all the same, mostly because we now can all say the word Yeti and not be considered a member of the Monster Hunters team on the Discovery Channel, because those guys are assholes.

The hairless beast was trapped by hunters in Sichuan province after locals reported spotting what they thought was a bear.

Hunter Lu Chin explained: “It looks a bit like a bear but it doesn’t have any fur and it has a tail like a kangaroo.”

“It also does not sound like a bear – it has a voice more like a cat and it is calling all the time – perhaps it is looking for the rest of its kind or maybe it’s the last one?

“There are local legends of a bear that used to be a man and some people think that’s what we caught,” he added.

Local animal experts now plan to shipped the mystery beast to scientists in Beijing who will perform DNA tests on the beast.

Smart Women Are Drunk Women

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 08:30:24 +0000

When you go out to the bars in DC, or really any big city for that matter, it stands a good chance you’ll run into some very drunk women throughout the night. What’s more likely is after you start talking to these women, or more likely listen to them ramble and ramble on, they’ll at some point mention they are working on finishing up their bar exam, entering into med school, or are just putting the finishing touches on their thesis. That’s right, drunk women tend to be always on the hunt of education, and vice versa, and finally there is decent proof of this is as a fact beyond all the tales of watching over-qualified members of a bachelorette party vomiting all over the streets outside Public Bar. A recent study has shown that women who have college degrees are far more likely to be daily drinkers than their less educated peers, as much 2 times as likely in many cases. It would appear that a simple answer of simply having a better job and therefore more resources to do so would explain it, although facts such as higher stress or more free time from multiple jobs could also be factored in. Our only conclusion is that if you’re looking to hang out with a few lush girls just find yourself the closest happy hour on the first floor beneath a law firm and saddle up, it cannot disappoint.

The findings come from a comprehensive study carried out at the London School of Economics in which researchers tracked the lives of thousands of 39-year-old women and men, all born in the UK during the same week in 1970.

The report concludes: “The more educated women are, the more likely they are to drink alcohol on most days and to report having problems due to their drinking patterns.

“The better-educated appear to be the ones who engage the most in problematic patterns of alcohol consumption.”

Women’s alcohol consumption can even be predicted from their scores in school tests taken when they are as as young as five.

Women who achieved “medium” or “high” test marks as schoolgirls are up to 2.1 times more likely to drink daily as adults.

the DC AM #73: “DC Charity Case”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 13:58:33 +0000

Well, well, another week, another show, and more time to ponder the issues of the day, except for this Obamacare thing because that name is just a really annoying mash-up. This week we touch on the breakthrough internet sensation “Chatroulette” which is helping everyone to meet and learn about the rest of the world one guy wacking off at a time. Also we investigate a guy who has decided he just to be helpful in this very unhelpful economic time, see what Iceland thinks about the Hooters restaurant franchise, and following see exactly what an undercover cop can and can’t do at a strip club. In all it’s a renaissance of sorts for the show, if by renaissance we mean another internet based podcast available to you on demand. Enjoy.

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Kings Of Leon – Use Somebody
Innerpartysystem – Don’t Stop
Fugazi – Bed For Scraping

A Lot Piggys Went To The Market

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:05:47 +0000

Normally we write witty or funny observations about a news story, study, or other peice of interesting goings-on… but not today, this is just weird weirdness that sort of speaks for itself, or rather looks for itself, so have a look. It’s a kid with a total of 31 fingers and toes. I know, your first instinct is to point, possibly laugh, definitely gasp, and if there’s time left on their schedule, give him his own show on TLC. Anyway, this is just some crazy creepy weirdness so enjoy the pictures and the fact that the web is no officially the modern day carnival freak show.

A 6-year-old boy shows his hands: one with seven fingers and another with eight, in Shengjing Hospital in Shenyang, capital of northeast China’s Liaoning province, on March 22, 2010. Ready to undergo an operation, the boy has a total of 31 fingers and toes, which outnumber the current world record of 25.[Photo/Asianewsphoto]

Related Links:
Boy with 31 fingers and toes

the DC AM #72: “Bad Bitchy Bosses”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 08:19:28 +0000

This week we’re back talking issues, delicate issues that deserve our full attention and respect, among of which is of course the lady who decided to shave her vagina on a way to a hot date with her ex-husband riding shotgun. Is that weird you ask? Very, but so is the case of the girl whose face fell off, the collection of wacky traits having a geeky spouse will get you, and why exactly women prefer to work for a guy over a woman any day of the week. In all it’s a cornucopia of what is going on today, well besides Tiger Woods sex habits, but seriously, is there anything left to say?

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
The Main Drag – Swine Houses
Lorelei Carlson – Alone
Fishbelly White – Way Too Long Mw

In Space, No One Hears Your Heart Stop

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 14:48:21 +0000

A lot of movies have decided that one of the coolest ways to kill somebody is launch them out in to the vacuum of space just to watch them get all weird and in most cases explode or something similar. Well as it turns out this hardly accurate, whether it be a de-pressurized surface of mars or the airlock out the back of a Star Cruiser, most movies massively miss the mark in terms of describing how you would die. And the interesting thing is the real way in which you would die is heart failure, just like regular ‘ol heart disease causes. Now don’t be confused here, you would eventually probably snap, crackle and pop at some point just not right away and you certainly would not be alive for it, which is for better or worse I guess. In the end I guess the only thing we learned is that “Total Recall” was bullshit, fuck you Kuato.

Let’s start by dispelling some myths. Here are the ways that, cinematic evidence to the contrary, you won’t die in vacuum.

1. Exploding eyeballs.

Technically, this is not fatal. However, I’d like to think that when faced with the prospect of having their eyeballs explode like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s in Total Recall, most people would stab their own fingers through their chests and puncture their hearts. Go on. It’s the more merciful option. Treat yourself.

Fortunately, eyeballs wouldn’t explode in a vacuum, any more than they’d cave in under 33 feet of water. The body wouldn’t swell up and explode like a marshmallow in a microwave, either.

There’s just not enough pressure inside of us to blow us up. I know. It disappoints me, too.

…

5. Asphyxiation

This seems like the one that would get you, doesn’t it? If there’s one thing we know about people, it’s that they need air, and if there’s one thing we know about deep space, it’s that it doesn’t have air. Mystery solved, right? That pretty much wraps it up.

Sadly, you won’t last long enough to asphyxiate.

What would actually get you?

Heart failure.

Yes, the thing that could kill you in your sleep, jogging, or just on your couch eating cheetos, would also be what is most likely to get you in outer space.

In experiments conducted by scientists who will probably be re-incarnated as those women who wear bikinis and get in cages for PETA stunts, animals were exposed to different pressure levels. In vacuums, many of them began having heart problems within a minute. Once a heart stops, the pressure inside of small blood vessels drops, allowing the vacuum to damage them faster. Once the tissue dissolves and the liquid is exposed, well, that’s when the blood boiling happens. Fortunately, one of the first results of exposure to a vacuum is loss of consciousness. It takes only 10-15 seconds. You won’t want to be awake for the rest.

A body in a vacuum isn’t a dramatic explosion, but a slow taking-apart. Damage accumulates and structure deteriorates, just like it would in an abandoned house. Maybe this is the most horrifying idea of all, although admittedly it’s not cinematic. We aren’t fragile creatures, shattered instantly under the wrong conditions. We’re just part of the world, breaking down, or being torn down, no faster or slower than anything else.

Banning White Girls From Bollywood

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 16:25:29 +0000

The movie “Slumdog Millionaire” was produced by a British guy but gave us a look at Indian culture that for a lot of people that might have not otherwise seen. Along those same lines is the somewhat unnoticed fact that India has one of the largest film communities in the world outside of the United States, and it’s called Bollywood. Based out of Mumbai, their Hollywood, Bollywood produces hundreds of films a year most of which seem sort of throwback to our own musicals of the 50’s but they’ve for sure got their own thing going on and it’s a cash cow for the industry. In keeping with that trend the directors are always trying to push the envelope and have recently run in to the problem that most Indian actresses are not too comfortable running around in almost no clothing and basically just being there for the purposes of being hot. Well simple solution: white girls. White girls in America have been taking off their clothes for the cameras forever so there’s been a recent push there to hire white actresses in order to get the titillation factor that has been driving the industry. Needless to say a lot of Bollywood-ians are pissed off at this trend and are calling on producers to only hire Indians for movie parts. Who knows how this will play out but in the meantime we can all await the Indian version of “Showgirls”, probably still starring that chick from Saved By The Bell.

He is targeting not only high-profile names like Kylie Minogue (above, with Bollywood stars Akshay Kumar and Lara Dutta) the but also the wannabe actresses who show up in Mumbai and get bit-parts in Bollywood movies because they are more comfortable than some Indian girls about peeling off their clothes for the camera.

“The reason producers pick white girls is because a lot of them have better figures and are willing to expose them,” said one film director, Jag Mundra.

“If you need a bikini shot, not many Indian girls are willing to turn up in a string bikini. But most white girls will not have an issue with that. Titillation has been an important part of Bollywood.”

Encyclopedia Dramatica Gets Dramatic

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 13:54:07 +0000

A lot of people are familiar with Wikipedia, it’s the internet’s go to site for any detailed information about a topic and makes pretty much everyone forget about what the hell Brittanica was even trying to sell you back in the 80’s. Well what is less known, and perhaps even more valuable because it is more often intentionally funny, is Encyclopedia Dramatica, a spoof website that functions as a way to look up a topic just to have it made fun of. Well apparently some people didn’t think it was too funny when the Australian aborigines came under attack from an entry mocking them, and even started calling it racist. Considering everything on the site is a joke, and Dramatic even changed the name of the article, it’s hard to see what point they have to argue with, but argue they did and now Dramatic is all caught up in a lawsuit. In the end it’ll probably be rejected because it’s satire, and when was the last time anyone properly sued a website what with all the millions of miles of international red tape it takes to do it. Here’s saluting you Encyclopedia Dramatica, because someone has to to make fun of the Irate Gamer.

“Encyclopedia Dramatica will never be censored in any way,” he said.

Encyclopedia Dramatica is a satirical website that often goes to extreme lengths to shock readers.

In addition to the Aboriginal article, there are several other pieces — including one lampooning the death of Bundaberg girl Trinity Bates — that have been criticised in the past.

ninemsn recently interviewed one of the site’s top moderators, who defended the site, saying “it is the only collaborative publishing platform on the internet that allows completely free speech.”

When asked whether the article “Aboriginal” was written by racist bullies, the moderator — who did not want to be named — said that he believed the article to be a comedy piece.

“Bullying is when someone gets beaten. Satire is when an article gets written on an Internet comedy website,” he said.

Related Links:
Dramatica owner could face charges

the DC AM #71: “Indonesian Adventure”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 08:53:20 +0000

So we were lucky to be joined by good show friend Doctor Shine, who graced us with his tales of foreign adventure, new loves, and being a self-employed drug mule. Okay, okay, one or all of those may in fact not actually be true, but he does tell a good story and far as we know he did actually go to Indonesia to help volunteer on some charity projects there on the island of Japan. In all it’s an eye opener for all of you who don’t travel much, I mean really who knew Pizza Hut was the Ruth Chris Steakhouse of the asian, world. I know right, Pizza Hut, ha!

Music:

Soul Logistics – Bring The Pain
Temper Trap – Sweet Disposition
One Shot Left – Just Because
Blues Traveler – Run Around

A White Castle Wedding

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:38:43 +0000

Weddings are a sacred moment where two people pledge their undying love for one another in a spiritual and emotional way forever… wait, no it’s not, it’s none of those things. Modern day weddings have tended towards all things un-meaningful, expensive parties, weird door prizes, horrible karaoke contests, and in a new twist, having your wedding at some establishment that is otherwise known for it’s super size meal deals. Enter the White Castle wedding, where a couple won a contest to have their vows exchange in the place known for steaming their meat, and because they had to actually had to call into a radio state to get it, clearly wanted it. Not just that but others lately have been pronounced husband in wife in an Apple Store, Waffle House and Taco Bell, amongst others. So yea, marriage has lost the point of whatever it was originally supposed to be about… which reminds me, can anyone remember what that was?

1. The Apple Store
Ya Ting Li and Joshua Li met at the Apple store on Fifth Avenue in New York City. Both Apple fans, they decided that’s where they wanted to get married. Officiant Henry Hu shopped for a black turtleneck to wear to the wedding. Just after midnight on Valentines Day, 2010 about thirty friends witnessed the ceremony at the always-open Apple store. A quote from Apple founder Steve Jobs was included in the vows.
“You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down.”
Apple did not authorize the wedding, but allowed it to proceed.

2. Waffle House
George “Bubba” Mathis and Pamela Christian got married at the Dacula, Georgia Waffle House on Independence Day, 2008. After nine years together, they gave up on getting a day off together to tie the knot and just did it at their workplace. They had been determined to get married on July 4th (which was their “anniversary,” although they didn’t say what milestone they wanted to celebrate). For several years, the bride had to work on the holiday. The bride actually got the day off at the last minute, but Bubba had to work. They were married in the parking lot of the diner. See more pictures in this gallery.

3. White Castle
Jeff and Terry Parks of Indianapolis got married just last week at a local White Castle outlet. They won the wedding, catered of course, from radio station X103. The vows were as unconventional as the setting.
“Dearly beloved we are gathered here today in the presence of the assistant manager and head cook in the hallowed and aroma filled halls of the Shelby Street White Castle. With this ring do you promise to allow Terri to keep you under her thumb and furthermore vow that together and forever you will rock and roll all night and party all day?”
This was not the first White Castle wedding. Kurby and Krystal McDonald were married in the London, Kentucky franchise in 2009, and Cyndie Nunamaker and Brian Wilson (and two other couples) were married at a Columbus, Ohio, restaurant in 2008.

4. Taco Bell
Paul and Caragh Brooks spent a total of about $200 on their wedding, in front of family and friends at a Taco Bell restaurant in Normal, Illinois. It was where they enjoyed hanging out, and since they were trying to save money on the ceremony, an unconventional location made it all the more memorable. She was in Australia and he was in Illinois when they met over the internet a year earlier.

5. KFC
Alex Bury and and Jack Norris performed their nuptials at a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in Toronto, despite the facts that they are both vegans! The 2008 wedding was a political statement, as they were celebrating KFC Canada’s agreement to implement more humane methods of chicken farming. The groom is an employee of PETA. The wedding party was served the recently-introduced KFC vegan sandwich.

6. Walmart
Crystal Newsome and Robert Vickrey exchanged vows at the Walmart store in York, Nebraska, last fall. It only made sense, as Vickrey is the grocery manager and has been a Walmart employee for twelve years. Newsome has five years of Walmart experience under her belt, and is the deli manager. The ceremony took place in the lawn and garden department. Walmart weddings have also occurred in West Sacramento, California, Palm Harbor, Florida, Epping, New Hampshire, and other Walmarts.

7. McDonalds
Trisha Lynn Esteppe and Tyree Henderson of Fairborn, Ohio, considered McDonalds a romantic place to get married. So they did, in 2006. Both Esteppe and Henderson worked at the fast food restaurant where they met three years earlier. Patrons continued to order food during the ceremony. McDonalds weddings have also occurred in Long Island, New York, and Scottsdale, Arizona.

Sexual Anorexia Is Not As Cool As Normal Anorexia

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 08:59:54 +0000

Dr. Drew is one of those celebrities who also pretends (or actually is, the case is still out) to be an actual expert and doctor on things, much like Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz or Dr. Robotnik, but I guess he has the slight edge in actually being real and having an actual degree on his wall. Well lately he’s been less known for his medical work and his involvement in the Celebrity Rehab and Sex Rehab shows. The Sex Rehab in show is interesting because it deals with people who just like to bang all the time, which as far as casual surveys go is every guy and every girl when they’re being honest. I guess the real difference is those people do it for sissy reasons like they’re mom died of cancer or they got touched by a neighbor, but I digress. Dr. Drew gave a recent interview on the topic of sexual anorexia which is the state of being where you don’t want sex at all ever, which I guess renders you into some kind of asexual house plant. Anyway, read on for more detailed discussions involving everyone’s favorite Loveline host after Adam Carolla.

Many times patients with sexual addictions and compulsions will have a “bipolar,” so to speak, swing to their sexual desire, in which they may move between periods of intense sexual activity followed by periods of sexual anorexia. Treatment usually is a slower process and does not require the sort of immediate interventions like an inpatient rehab that would be directed toward behaviors that can become threatening to livelihood, legal status and even one’s very life.

Nor is sexual anorexia a topic that grabs headlines, so you are not going to hear about this on the tabloids. Fundamentally, sexual anorexia is yet another manifestation of intimacy disorders, among which sexual addiction is one of the more common manifestations today.

Charge Your Cellphone By Having One

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:06:21 +0000

One of the most annoying things about having a cell phone is finding the time and the place to charge it, and then even at that point you have to make sure you have right charger for your specific phone and whether you’re going USB or wall socket. To suffice, it sucks. Well Nokia is hoping to change all that with something pretty damn cool: kinetic chargers. Basically this boils down to kinetics, fancy word right, which basically means movement, which even more basically means the phone would be charged just by the jostling around it would receive from being in your pocket, or if need be, the violent shaking you could give it if you’re in a pinch. Now this charge would be small each time but throughout a day you’re at least looking to have a few more bars power than you would otherwise and that’s a decent start. Now if we could just find a way charge cars the same way.

What the patent boils down to, as New Scientist lays out, is Nokia would create a cell phone with heavier components in a strong frame, which would sit two sets of rails, one allows it travel up and down, the other side to side. As the user walks around or jostles the phone, the frame bumps against strips of piezoelectric crystals at the end of each rail and generates a current, which then charges a capacitor that keeps the phone’s battery topped off.

the DC AM #70: “Policies And Guidelines”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:21:30 +0000

Wow, what a flashback, I swear whatever the last episode where Kitten made an appearance sounded exactly like this one… that’s okay though, that episode was a classic. Well we’re joined by a larger cast of characters than we’ve seen in a while and we delve into a range of topics including male vs. female comics, what sort of guys girls go for that we don’t know, or don’t even believe as it turns out, and what trades you’d make for good time when operating a used car dealership. Oh, and for just a brief bit we discuss some issues Kitten has with a fictitious set of female body parameters that never actually existed in the first place. In all a triumph of internet broadcasting, so get to it, listen.

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Johnny Cash – When The Man Comes Around
MGMT – Kids

The Fakest Street Ever

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:39:56 +0000

Ever been walking down a street where a bunch of businesses have closed up shop? Generally it doesn’t take long for some artful taggers to spray paint the whole bit, which only scares away any new business from buying it up, and making existing stores worry about even staying around themselves. Well one town in England had a novel idea, just fill up the dead space with fake stores. That’s right, they replaced the old store signs with new ones and then even created art-based fake interiors to give the appearance the place is busy and happening. They’ve done this to a bunch of spots now in one neighbhorhood in order to keep it afloat until new stores can be found to roll on in. In all a cool idea, the next step of course being to park a bunch of fake Lexus’ and Mercedes everywhere.

Your New Pablo Escobar Is A Lingerie Model

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 08:27:23 +0000

The international drug trade is a world that inspires images of shady backroom deals, sweaty guys in wife-beaters armed with AK-47 guarding some stash, and condoms full of cocaine stuck up some dude’s ass as he gets off an airplane. In all it doesn’t seem so glamorous, aside from maybe the the guys at the top who buy mansions, drive sports cars and have a harem full of models. Well one instance of these drug lords happened to be a model herself, a quite successful one from Colombia, who at some point determined that shipping around white powder was far easier and more profitable than strutting around in the latest Victoria’s Secret line. Anyway, Angie Sanselmente Valencia, now 30, is on an international watch list after one of her lackeys who was busted turned evidence and ratted her and her whole gang out. Oh, and by the way, her entire gang was females. That’s right, an entire gang of international drug traffickers led by a former lingerie model. This TV show/movie/porno sort of writes itself doesn’t it?

Pizzacones? FTW or FTL?

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:58:47 +0000

During a lot of our shows we’re big fans of binging on horrible, unhealthy, border-line abhorrent food, “Tots and Shots” aside of course. But in that quest to find the perfect compliment for a Soco-and-Lime we’ve made some mistakes, frozen Chimichangas come to mind. A new treat out of New York though really has sparked some interest, and could quite quickly fall on either side of the awesome snack or disgusting bile food rating system. A joint called “K! Pizzacones” across the street from the Empire State Building has started serving pizzas in a wrapped up cone fashion, easier to carry and eat on the run I guess, and perfect for New York. What’s not perfect about this for New York though is it’s long been considered one of the top bastions of pizza excellence for years so introducing this new form of the food is only going to cause problems, particularly if people are willing to give up taste and quality for something that’s faster to eat and acts as interesting story for all the would be narcissists who bring one into the office. The idea is sort of cool, they fill up the cone with all your toppings, cheese and sauce and throw it in a convection oven for a while to get it cooked. Then they through it in the specially designed containers and you’re good to go. So again, this may be ground breaking or possible be ground that should never be broken, either way we’re booking a trip on the Acella right now to check one out.

Because Most Movies Come Down To 37 Seconds

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:09:34 +0000

Movies are a touchstone of American culture, something we can all relate to, with certain films, and even more certain moments, standing out above the rest, and just the mere mention of them can have a roomful of strangers recalling the exact same scene. Just about everyone will understand a passing “Luke I am your father” reference or spitting out a “You talking to me?” line, and no further explanation is necessary. Well one website went above and beyond with that idea, battling through the red tape that has made YouTube unreliable for that exact scene of that exact film at that exact moment, and actually gotten legal permission to put up hundreds of famous scenes from all the best movies out there. You won’t be able to really string them together to watch the whole thing, but then who needs to when you’re just trying to catch Brody say “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” It’s a cool website to stumble through and remind yourself of all the great cinematic lines of today and days past, or at the very least prove to your friend that that guy was really in that movie like you said he was.

the DC AM #69: “Oscar! Oscar!”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 08:49:11 +0000

This week we talk movies, and not just any movies but the ones the ‘Academy’ has deemed worthy all of us to think great, some of which are, and some of which aren’t. Yea, so we movie nerd it up a bit, but that’s because during this year’s round of the snowpocalypse we had a lot of time to kill and didn’t spend all of it on drinking and gambling, we actually check out most if not all of the choose films. Beyond that we talk a little bit of the local bar scene, a topic we like to revisit form time to time, and put in our early reviews of the spots you should be checking out if you aren’t already. We then touch on the erotic tale of lady who wanted to give her husband a special sexy surprise… a hammer to the head. In all it’s an artist expression of celluloid entertainment, so get to listening.

Music:

Soul Logisitcs – Bring The Pain
Kings Of Leon – Cold Desert
The Ting Tings – Shut Up And Let Me Go
TiSoul Logisitcs – Its The Truth

Men, Stuff Your Sorries In A Sack

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 08:59:37 +0000

Tiger Woods. Mark Sanford. Elliot Spitzer. Pee Wee Herman. It seems men like to make it a habit of apologizing as of late, or guess in some cases twenty years ago after being busted for jerking it in a porno theater, but nonetheless, men making mea culpas is becoming standard operating procedure. Well one blogger on TIME.com has had enough of it, and a woman no less, who longs for the days that seeing a man cry was like seeing a Yeti or a UFO, meaning it didn’t happen and if it did it was only because some hillbilly drunk on moonshine swears it done be so. In the meantime though I think we can all agree that guys screw up, but why is it they all also feel the need to get up in front of some cameras and make sure we get just how much the screwed up and how sorry they are all about it. It seems like maybe just ordering a few pizzas and you know, telling your family privately how badly you screwed up should be enough, but I guess not, Fox News and CNN have a lot of time to kill and you need to go help them out. But if you subscribe to a different way of thinking, and you still need to cheat on your wife or do some other shady thing, at least have the self respect to say sorry to the people it should actually matter to and not just the whole nation of wanna-be TMZ-ers.

Related Links:
Why Do Men Keep Apologizing?

Bronze Medals Are Better Than Silver Medals

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:35:05 +0000

Being an Olympic athlete is one of the best feelings you can have in the world. Being at the top of your game, being around peers who understand and know how hard your training is, and getting a few weeks to train, compete, and then party on someone else’s dime. But one thing that isn’t examined too much is the psychological effects of winning. That’s right, the winning, not the losing, because we know what happens there: years of alchoholism leading to the eventual sex tape and drug overdose. But you would assume it’s roses for the winners, standing up there with their “I did something” medallions, and it is for at least two of them. Some researchers analyzed some medal standing behaviors and found that generally the gold medal winner is exuberant, the bronze usually really joyful to be up there, but there silver winner is full of pissed-off fury that he’s not got the gold, and in fact it can lead to some severe jealousy, anger, and depression. The moral here? Win it all, obviously, but if not then try to just be happy for the moment because concentrating on these 0.35 seconds you didn’t cross the finish line first will just make you go crazy.

Research by three U.S. academics, who analyzed heat-of-the-moment reactions, medal-stand temperament and interviews of Olympians, shows that bronze-medal winners, on average, are happier with their finishes than silver medalists. Take silver, and you tend to fixate on the near miss. Score bronze, and you are thankful you were not shut out altogether.

“When you come in second,” said Thomas Gilovich, chairman of Cornell’s psychology department and one of the study’s co-authors, “it’s the most natural thing in the world to look upward. ‘I got the silver and that’s what it is, but what is it not? It’s not the gold.’

“With the bronze, the natural place to look is downward. ‘I got the bronze. That’s what it is, but what it isn’t is off the medal stand.’ ”

Psychologists described it as counterfactual thinking.

Lindsay Lohan Is Okay

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 08:56:21 +0000

Lindsay Lohan is one of the greatest actresses of our generation, a master of comic timing, and a skillful artisan of the theatrical trade. Well, by which I mean of all that, if we only count the year 2004, the movie “Mean Girls”, and by “greatest” instead meaning “passable.” However, if we’re counting complete messes, world-class drug abusers, people totally unaware of what sexuality they are, and borderline cases who no one would be surprised to find dead in truck stop outside of Vegas, than she wins gold every time. Until recently that is, as Lindsay tells The Sun she has finally recovered from all recent troubles, in which she used cocaine to cope with her dad being a douchebag, her career floundering, and all sorts of weirdness with that Samantha Ronson chick. In any event, Lindsay wants use to know she is doing great, so look out world, here comes “Mean Girls 2″!!!

Talking of the first time she was caught with cocaine, following a car smash in May 2007, she confesses: “It was in a purse and I was with friends. I wasn’t trying to lie to police.

“I was only aware of cocaine because of my dad. I was terrified of it. But I tried it because I was stubborn, stupid, and wanted to see what it was like.

“It’s not something I ever want to do again. It made me feel like s***. It became uninteresting to me. I’m hyper anyway and I have that kind of personality so I don’t need something like that.”

Lindsay was a successful child actress but beneath the cute surface the youngster was struggling to deal with her emotions after years of violent rows between her parents.

Girlfriends Equal Alarm Clocks

am@thedcam.com — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:51:22 +0000

In relationships it’s often assumed each person will play different, unassigned, but yet totally understood roles. Guys will take out the garbage, repair stuff around the house, handle any issues with the car, so on so forth whereas ladies will make sandwiches on demand, only appear totally made-up and in lingerie, and be quiet and still during football games. One little less known role though is that any given girlfriend is also expect to act as your own personal wake-up call, a sort of larger and more biological alarm clock, and clearly when she fails at this role she deserves as harsh a punishment as possible… wait, what the hell am I talking about, who the hell wants a digital beeping device for a girlfriend. Well it appears one guy in Florida wanted just that, and when his girlfriend didn’t wake him up promptly he did what only a guy he needs his girlfriend to perform this role in first place would do: he punched her. Turns out the guy was already on probabtion for some other crimes so after he randomly dropped her off at friends house and used her car to visit his bondsman, she ended up filing a report a busting his ass. This guy is a big dummy, new guy should want a girl just so she can function as his alarm clock, although on occasion a snooze button might be nice.

MOON LAKE — Drexel Green was late.

On Thursday morning, authorities say, Green was supposed to meet his bail bondsman to turn himself in on a warrant for violating his probation for domestic violence. His girlfriend — whom deputies say he attacked in December — didn’t wake him up in time Thursday, so he punched her in the face, according to the Pasco Sheriff’s Office.

Green, a 27-year-old unemployed man who lives at 10025 Waddell St. in Moon Lake Estates, then held his girlfriend on the ground and forced her into her own car, a report states. Green dumped his 26-year-old girlfriend at his friend’s house and took her car to see the bondsman, leaving his girlfriend stranded with a bleeding, swollen mouth, authorities say. Green denied the attack while interviewed in jail, the report states.

He is charged with domestic violence and violating his probation. He remained at the Land O’Lakes jail Friday without bail.

the DC AM #68: “Choke. Sex. Vomit.”

am@thedcam.com — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 08:34:48 +0000

This week is quite rambling ruckus of rough-housing rabble-rousers who like to reign riot over remarkable conversational receptions. Good, one summary sentence down. Beyond alphabetical word play we touch on the differences between male and female public bathroom usage, hear a tale of post-coital regurgitation, debate the rules for the current high school dance scene, and Original Jack shares an uncomfortable moment with fan favorite Cammy. Loving uncomfortable moments as we do we consider this episode a smashing success, so get to it, listen, love it, know it, be it, own it… wow I’m really stretching for words this go-round.

Related Links:
High School: ‘Freaking’ Must Stop

Music:

Mambo Sauce – Welcome To DC
Kings Of Leon – Crawl
MGMT – Time to Pretend
Timbaland – If We Ever Meet Again
The Ting Tings – That’s Not My Name
Johnny Cash – The Man Comes Around

Jonah Hill Is The New John Candy?

am@thedcam.com — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 08:44:37 +0000

Jonah Hill is part of that Apatow crew that is invading Hollywood comedies these days, but that’s okay because for the most part they’re funny and that’s really all that matters here. In the two spring’s ago “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” Jonah had a small cameo as the waiter at the Hawaiian resort Jason Segel was at to forget his girlfriend who was dating the annoyingly douchey rock star Aldous Snow, played by Russel Brand. Well Brand is back as Snow, and this time Jonah is playing a record company employee who is given the responsibility of getting him to a major concert, scheduling being something the guy has a lot of difficulty with. Well the movie doesn’t come out for a while but an early review is pretty glowing and even goes as far as to call Jonah the next coming John Candy. Let’s just hope it turns out better for Jonah though, a way to early heart attack and having “Wagon’s East” be your last movie is no good for anyone.

As expected, Hill & Brand are in full force with all guns blazing bringing their comedic chops. Jonah takes on a more “adult” role, being a grounded career-minded guy and a live-in girlfriend (Elisabeth Moss of Mad Men). Being the straight man to Russell Brand’s out-there eccentricity kind of lets Jonah Hill be very reminiscent of a young John Candy, a second coming I’ve long since been waiting for ever since Kevin James fell from grace by taking the rip-off Farley route. Russell Brand is Russell Brand; Aldous Snow is nothing more than Captain Jack Sparrow without the reluctant heroism, and though he does have his own demons and a character arc, neither get their due. The real story here is P. Diddy, who fucking owns this movie. He is playing a part he’s born to play, an a-hole record exec. The character just comes naturally. At first he’s just the cliché dick boss, screaming at his employees with as much stereotypical disdain as an 80’s action movie police captain, but when the journey leads everybody to Vegas at the end of the second act he just explodes as a comic dynamo. Never saw that coming, and it borderline blew my mind.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQDb6-W0Grs

Fat + Time = More Time

am@thedcam.com — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:33:42 +0000

A lot of studies are done covering weight and how it affects life, but unfortunately most of these studies are done on either “The Jerry Springer Show” or “Maury” and nothing much is learned accept that being fat will make it hard to find out who your baby’s daddy is and you will probably end up in a food fight with the transvestite your ex cheated on you with at some point. A new study helps fight that stereotype though, well at least for older people. The highly detailed survey of folks in their mid seventies concluded that people who had a higher than average body mass index, the scale based on height to weight ratios, lived longer than their underweight and even normal cohorts. The conclusions also revealed being sedentary is dramatically worse for women than men and that except in the older ages this rule doesn’t hold true, probably proving if you lived that long being that big a heart attack is just not in your cards. The study on how to avoid the transvestite food fight is still being researched.

“This study has demonstrated that, for people who have survived to the age of 70, the risk of death is lowest among those with a BMI [body mass index] classified as overweight,” said Professor Leon Flicker, one of the world’s most eminent specialists in geriatric health. “Those in their seventies who were classified as normal weight had a higher risk of death than the overweight group.”

Snow Penises Aren’t Funny

am@thedcam.com — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 08:17:55 +0000

People have a lot of fun during the winter seasons, all sorts of skiing, snow ball fights, ice fishing and writing things in snow by peeing into it. One of the other great traditions is building snow men and all sorts of other snow sculptures, spongebob square pants being a more recent favorite for instance. One thing apparently no one finds funny though (except we’re guessing all of you that like bumming around this website) is when snow sculptures get obscene. and nothing is more obscene than cock and balls built of freshly driven snow. So as it happened that a couple of adults, not punk kids mind you, erected a snow penis in their front year, which was nearby a school and a principal part of local bus routes. Well it didn’t take long for cops to stumble upon it and instead of knocking on the door or otherwise checking on it, they just bashed the hell out if it until all that remained was a pile of powdery white. Snow art just isn’t appreciated like it used to be.

New Windsor – What, some might ask Jessica Sherer, is with the giant snow penis she built on her boyfriend’s lawn this week?

As everyone knows, phallic displays were central to Viking winter solstice celebrations of fertility and rebirth. Yeah. So what.

And readers of this paper surely know that phallic rituals were as much a part of the Hopi Indian winter festivals as the Hawk dance.

But down on Quassaick Avenue, around the corner from the New Windsor Elementary School, the 6-foot tall, anatomically correct, finely detailed penis raised some questions Monday.

Especially for police.

“We got some calls that people thought it was offensive,” said New Windsor police Chief Michael Biasotti. “We assumed it was some kids who did it.”

Officers found no one home. Assuming the snow sculpture was more prank than nod to Christmas’ pagan roots, the police knocked it down. Beat it down with shovels, actually.

“We came back around 11 in the morning, and it was just a pile of snow,” recalled Sherer, 19. “Just some shovel marks.”

Sherer, um, erected the statue with her boyfriend and another friend Sunday. She said she was surprised to hear some neighbors took offense.

Motorists honked their approval, and people walking by pointed and laughed, she said.

“People were waving and laughing,” she said. “It was pretty funny.”

No citations or criminal violations will be issued for the display, Biasotti said. The town codes prohibit lewd signs on businesses, but don’t mention anything about public snow sculptures.

“We probably weren’t 100 percent correct in going on the property and knocking it down,” New Windsor Town Supervisor George Meyers said. “But our intentions were pure. Some people were offended. There are school buses going by there all day.”

The last two nights of freezing weather has made the snow too stiff to sculpt, said Sherer. But she intends to rebuild.

“In a couple of days, Thursday or Friday, after it gets a little warmer,” she promises.

Police and town officials aren’t sure what their move will be.

“I’d want the police to talk to the property owner if we got complaints, ask them to take it down” Meyers said. “But after that, I don’t think there’s too much we can do.”

Biasotti worries the display might give others ideas. “Now we’re going to get snow penises popping up all over town,” he said.

Many scholars, of course, trace the origin of the modern-day yule log to ancient pagan totems to virility and sun-god worship. Is that what Sherer was going for?

“We just did it because we were really bored, and we thought it’d be funny,” she said. “It was huge.”

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Police whack giant snow penis