The Discreet Charm of the Middleclass

New Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 05:10:00 +0000

Hey, you like me? You like blogs? Well good news, go here

That Squishy... Thing

Yep, thats right, thats my new blog, check it out. This one is old and stupid, and so are you for reading it. No seriously you're an idiot. Check out the new one!

As Seen on TV: What did you do? part two...

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 03:48:00 +0000

Part one

And then there is the other one, some stain remover. Who knows they are all the same. So two little dipshits play in the kitchen enjoying the ambiance, the smell, and a healthy dose of dubbed soundtrack. They are about to eat lunch, maybe tea, its light out so maybe the are heavily religious. Because as we all know its one of the key hallmarks of the satanic traditions to eat tea at four o'clock in the afternoon.

“Hey watch me I can flip the pizza like the people in the shop”, Oh can you? Oh snap cunt, no you can't, stained pants. Nightmare. I imagine every women reading this is now in the fetal position on the floor, slowly coming to grips with the huge dimensions of what this kids poor mother will have to deal with. And in she walks.

She takes one look at the kids pants, covered in pizza sauce, one look at the pizza on the floor, another look at the kid, then produces a large belt from behind her back. She then goes about whipping the kid a new color for the next few minutes whilst yelling at him about wasting food, starving Norwegian orphans, and how they are going to have to eat tofu for tea again tonight. At least that's where I always go when I see the advert.

How it actually happens is she bends down and says 'oh no, a stain', because shes a women and like I said last week, apparently women care about only a few things, stains how their house smells, and the sanitary condition of their cervix. Yep that's right don't punish the child, don't even dare look disappointed. Just fret on the fact that your impossibly white clothes have come to resemble your once perfect neighborhood, all white apart from that one bit down the end... Oh come on its one step away, I can make that link if I want to.

And of course in steps the obligatory stranger in the logo emblazoned shirt. The one that apparently lives in every single home just waiting for a stain emergency to appear. And snap problem solved, your perfect white power dream is now back to reality, if only the Chans could be dealt with as easily. The little freak wasted an entire pizza... and all she cares about is the stain. I'll ask the question again. Women, what the hell does the advertising industry think of you?

But it continues, the pizza is now gone, placed in the bin or hurled over the fence probably. And the mother asks 'well whats for tea'. Greasy chips... greasy chips, he says. Greasy chips means stains, but don't worry mum, don't fret your pretty little head, your pretty little anal retentive as a Swedish arse festival head. And anyway, stains from chips... really? What the hell are you doing with them? Granted chips can be fairly erotic, but when rubbing the sensuously all over ones person you're usually naked!

I'm out, catch you Thursday peeps...

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:26:00 +0000

This week on Tim Dawson, the fiery conclusion...

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The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

As Seen on TV: What did you do? part one...

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:00:00 +0000

Women what is it exactly you did in the company of the advertising people, to make them think you were complete raging fucktards? It must have been something pretty major, because I swear they must think you have the mental capacity of lobotomised frogs. Was there a meeting you and they had where they asked you a few questions and the only thing you answered with was, 'oh I can get that stain out if you like'. Far be it from me to question the logic and techniques of the advertising industry, being a twenty something male. All the adverts targeted at me are about sex, drugs and fast cars, and mostly at the same time.

And in honestly that's what we (twenty something males) care about. Hey what can I say, we are sick freaks. But ladies, I mean Jesus, apparently there is three things you care about. How your house smells, stains, and... freshness... you know, downstairs. But your love dungeon aside, what exactly happened along the line to make those first two things your key demos for marketing.

Lets take a look at the first example, I've talked about this company before. Airwick, the company that seems to see fit to categorise women into different classes by representing them as animals. The Ostrich is who we look at this time, I guess its about racist women then. Don't question my logic! Anyway advert opens Ostrich comes on screen talking about empty nesting when her son comes home. He wants her to do a load of his washing. Nicely she obliges because, lets face it shes a forty something housewife with no other life skills and nothing better to do, what else is going to happen, she hits the sauce and plays video poker?

Anyway it turns out all the clothes are already clean, signified by the fact they still have the shop tags on. Now this raises two questions first, who the fuck doesn't wash clothes from a shop before they wear them first, its just common sense. Unless you want to be another in the long line that is the herpes train. Secondly, why the hell is dipshit Mc'Ostrich visiting his mother? Answer, to smell. Yep that's right he came all the way to his mothers home, to smell. AIRWICK AIR FRESHENERS, BRIBE YOUR CHILDREN TO VISIT YOU WITH THE SCENT OF LAVENDER AND GUILT. What in the powerful levels of torque fuck are they on about?

Shit I know the one thing I love to do more than anything is go and smell peoples houses. Well after, lets say just a few things, its almost my favorite thing to do. Really? I mean really? Do they really think that's going to work? Your children will visit you if your house smells good. Of course we (the young and hip) don't really dig the smell of bleach and oatmeal that much. But unless your house smells of chocolate cake, marijuana, or hot lesbian sex then your adult son is not going to be enticed back to your house by the use of scent.

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 03:14:00 +0000

This week on Tim Dawson the party is ready, ARE YOU?

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The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

A special entry: Daylight savings

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 04:13:00 +0000

So its Sunday (as I'm writing this), first day of daylight savings. So that makes it what, June? I hate daylight savings, you go to bed at the reasonable hour of 3.00 am and then wake up at 1.30 the next day, get up to eat breakfast and find out that its actually 4.00 in the afternoon. I'm not sure how that works kids. Its almost 7.00 pm now as I'm writing this and the sun doesn't even look like disappearing. Damn farmers. Just another thing in the long list of things I blame on them.

Went for a walk before, coming back towards home and on top of the hill I see a jogger approaching, female. I don't know what it is about me, well I'm definitely not the friendliest looking individual I'll give you that. Well built, shaved head, ominous at best, goatee. I'd imagine somewhere between extra from 'Romper Stomper' and rapist is probably where this look would sit, on the average passerby scale.

But the lil lady catches sight of me and makes a quick u turn. Now maybe I'm over reacting and its just because she had a dog with her. But its as if she thought I was going to just ogle her and make suggestive cooing noises as she ran past me. Which in all honesty I was because she looked a damn fine piece of skirt, a regular slice of crumpet if you know what I mean lads, hey, he he... you know... with... ah forget it. But I was honestly disappointed. It's not everyday a raven haired beauty apologises to me for her border collie trying to hump me. And we all need a little companionship don't we even if it is through a dog.

God that got weird. Anyway, soon humorblogs will require payment to have a blog listed there. Which I personally can't really see the value in. So I won't be. But Diesel has to do what he has to do, he maintained that site on his own time and dollar for a long time and he is to be commended for that. I'd just like to thank him for what he has done for the HB community.

See you Thursday...

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:29:00 +0000

This week on Tim Dawson... Satay Sauce?

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The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

Yep, thats right no more humorblogs... sadface.

A special entry: Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:17:00 +0000

Monday... I'm really starting to hate Mondays. Not that I loved them before, but now its starting to get ridiculous. Oh well.

Spent the weekend watching the grand final. AFL, if anyone cares, Geelong vs Saint Kilda, Geelong won, in what turned out to be a fairly interesting match actually. I'm not really a fan of AFL but hanging out in a mates back yard with a boot load of piss and a fair whack of meat to fry is always going to be appealing. But it was arse fuck cold as well. I'm not quite sure what that measure of temperature figures out to in Fahrenheit, but it was chilly.

So after the game we lit a fire, huddled around and continued to drink. Well they did, I was out of beer and decided to call it quits, soft I know, but I kind of sensed the type of night that was going to follow. Of course being in a suburban area, my mates house didn't really have that much wood just lying around, so after starting the fire with metho and cardboard. We procured some wood the only way we knew how. By ~~stealing~~ borrowing the pallets from the houses still being built. Ah treated pine, you burn brighter than the sun.

It was an odd night, there was an encounter with a neighbour who may or may not have been quite attractive, and may or may not have been of legal age. Its hard to tell when all you can see is the shadowy outline of them waving in their bathroom window. And that's not a euphemism, they were actually waving watching us through their bathroom window, and why wouldn't you be watching a bunch of ~~naked~~ drunk blokes.

Then the fire jumping started... which to me is still a mystery, maybe I was the only one sober, but for some reason the risk of 3rd degree burns to major parts of your body becomes completely acceptable once you have consumed enough alcohol. Who am I to judge though, I've been told at a recent social event I fell on a dog, and that's not a euphemism either. It was around about the time the host attempted to jump the wheelie bin full of empties and didn't make it, and almost rolled into the fire that I decided yeah, I should ~~get the fuck outta dodge~~ go home and have some toast and a lie down.

All in all a good weekend...

humor-blogs.com fire jump at every opportunity...

I'm lazy get over it.

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 09:19:00 +0000

Kakaka yeah!

The Pitch: Nixon Goes to Hell

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:16:00 +0000

What... fuck its Monday again already. I don't know where does the time go. OK, post idea, idea for a post. Um, shiiiiiit, I don't know. Alright movie idea, Kennedy era white house, no... Nixon era. What he was a better president. And no one was going to stick that salt lick anywhere near their mouths. So Nixon finds a gate to hell behind a closet in the Lincoln suite, its where Bubba installed the hot tub during his reign... so sequel.

Anyway Nixon finds a gate to hell and decides for a laugh, lets go through it. Once he does go through it though, it opens the door wide open and stuff starts to poor back through. Horrible things, like demons, ghosts and... pickles... I'm so lonely... So when Nixon comes back through the white house is just crazy like... you know like, like that. And of course its the eve of the visit from Mr Russian the leader of Russia, and his hot wife Rosario Dawson, played by herself.

So Nixon has to shove all the demons and ghosts back through the gate and get shit cleaned up before Mr Russia rocks up the next morning. Its kind of like Ghostbusters meets Thirteen Days, but with hot steamy lesbian love scenes and a lot more decapitation. Starring Samuel L. Jackson as Richard Nixon and Burt Reynolds as the surly but lovable Donald Rumsfeild. Its danger, intrigue, comedy, ludicrous amounts of violence, and hardcore pornography wrapped into one neat little package. 'Nixon goes to hell' coming summer 2013...

Hey, Knock knock...
And the Barmen says...
About 140 pounds...

humor-blogs.com Doesn't think this will work...

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 05:28:00 +0000

This week on Tim Dawson, choking and revenge

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The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

humor-blogs.com doesn't like metaphors...

MicroFiction: Pengrove and Goran

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:43:00 +0000

“Come in sit down can I get you a drink?” Pengrove asks showing the man in his office to a spare seat. The man smiles and wanders over to the chair slowly sitting down whilst taking in the surroundings.

“Uh, no, no thank you I'm fine” He replies still smiling though a little awkwardly.

“So... Adrian, is it... you want to work for us” Pengrove asks leaning back in his chair

“Um, yeah I guess” He fixes his hair as he talks the van ride wasn't so bad but the bag had really messed up the product in his hair. He keeps looking around the office newspaper clippings scatter the walls all headlined with either 'Danger' or 'Disaster', or some other overblown description.

“What is it you actually do here?” Adrian asks focusing on the picture of the shapely robot woman with darts sticking out of it.

“We are a... what would you say we do here Goran?” Pengrove asks turning and looking out the missing wall into the rest of the lab. The entire office merely a TV set like construction of three walls and a large open space.

“Gee, that's a tough one, I'd say we're a global... transition, company” Goran suggested rolling his hand. He then went back to playing with the Tesla glove he was working on.

“Global transition” Pengrove said smiling back at Adrian.

“You guys try to take over the world?” Adrian mumbled.

“Yeah... you have a problem with that” Goran asked from out in the lab

“No... I used to work at google” Adrian replied

“Oh... impressive” Pengrove mutters taking down a few notes.

humor-blogs.com has been good to me over the years...

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 04:28:00 +0000

This week on Tim Dawson action, adventure and stuff!

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The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

humor-blogs.com also wasn't touching his stuff...

A special entry: Karma, Ying and Yang

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:55:00 +0000

People are stupid, but you already know that don't you, you've been visiting this site for how long? If you haven't learnt that by now then, well maybe you're one of them, don't worry I wont tell. Yet. But yes people are stupid and annoying, for many reasons one of which I will investigate today.

And when I say investigate I really mean complain and rant, because that's how things work around here. And if it doesn't pan out then I'll swear for a bit and hope no ones reading. Which is likely. Karma, the force that binds the universe together, apart from of course physics the midichlorians, and the long noodly appendages of the great flying spaghetti monster. The belief that every action has a reaction... wait was that Newton... or Kennedy. Ha! physics and Australian cultural icons in the one joke, no ones going to get that are they?

Anyway Karma, some people believe in Karma, some sort of metaphysical force swirling around the ether designed to bitchslap or reward given the nature of its whim. Which is fine. But then some people seem to think that Yin and Yang have something to do with it as well. Those people that claim to be Buddhists, but still eat meat and like gay people, (its frowned upon in Buddhism kids look it up, they're not as loving and as tolerant as you think... fuck Tibet...)

If Yin and Yang were related to Karma here's how shit would work. You do something good for someone, yeah you'd have something good destined to come over the horizon like some shining white knight of goodness and cookies. But then to deal with the Yin and Yang part of it you'd then have to do something bad to even it out. Like help an old lady across the road, (the good in case you're wondering), and then stabbing her in the face with some BBQ tongs (the bad in case you're... you know that ones probably self explanatory isn't it), to make the universe even.

Yin and Yang are two opposite things, think of it as black and white, the universe is made up of equal amounts of each, nothing can ever get out of balance. It is balance. Karma is don't watch your neighbours fooling around in their pool because one day you'll end up locked naked in a phone booth with the handset glued to the talky end of your peen.

Yin and Yang isn't something you can exploit for reward, its like porn on the Internet, its just there, existing outside of the physical world. If you look for it, you'll, find... it. If you don't look for it, you'll find it anyway probably won't you. Bad example. Sure believe in Karma be good and believe that's why good things happen to you. But then lets switch back to the Yin and Yang... yeah you're being the bestest mo fucker (can I just say how happy it makes me that when you spellcheck 'mofucker' in blogger it actually suggests 'mo fucker' as a correct wording) you can possibly be, but that just means that there is an opposite out there...

humor-blogs.com believes in Kin Yarma!

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 04:31:00 +0000

This week on Tim Dawson... ahhh?

Page Five?

Yeah... photoshop was playing up so, nothing really happened this week, problem solvered, but not in time for todays post...

humor-blogs.com never has technical difficulties...

Hey Buddy... you wanna see a dead body?

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:58:00 +0000

What, no post again I hear you ask, well gird your loins you hefty bags of disappointment. If you pop on over here, you'll find a post by me. And an assortment of other posts from someone that is actually funny...

What ho and all that!

humor-blogs.com has been to floor 33...

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 04:22:00 +0000

This week on Tim Dawson close ups and puns... so more of the usual.

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The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

humor-blogs.com lives in a tent, I hear...

As Seen on TV: One in Four...

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 05:33:00 +0000

One in four people think they sweat more than usual. That's how the advert starts, its for Rexona something. I assume its some sort of antiperspirant deodorant or something, I'm not sure I'm usually off on an anger tangent right after that opening line. So it could be for anything really. Giant Monkey Prey Mantis... ha, no, ok I won't go back into that kids. But there you have it.

One in four people. That's not the part I have a problem with. Even if it was one in four people 'have' a sweat problem, I wouldn't be complaining. Fuck stick a dude in a white coat and give him a clipboard and I believe him if he says one in two gorillas have a gambling problem. But its the fact that they say 'think'. One in four 'think'. And after that its just a white blur, I regain consciousness sometime later and there's a dead fish some jammed in the ceiling fan, my family are hiding in the panic room and 'thinking is not knowing' is written in what appears to be poo and blood on the wall.

'One in four think'... So they don't know, they haven't been to a doctor to get this potentially dangerous health problem checked out. They just believe they are one of the special few who perspire more than the average cretin. But you have to at least admire Rexonas bravado, they just strolled out into the marketplace and created a whole new consumer. Did someone in a meeting just decide that the new target consumer was hypochondriacs. People that spend their entire day toweling their armpits and checking wikipeadia to check how bad there hydrostynitis is... (wow that sounds like a real disease doesn't it!).

Comely lass springs on screen, and starts to babble, 'One in four people think they sweat more than usual'. And then it snaps to other comely lass raising her arms for a check, forgetting the monsoonal wash that will obviously pour from her under arms, she clamps then down to her sides quicker than humming bird on speed. Wow people are really that anal are they, what is that how you spell anal, is it anul or anal... are people really that one that doesn't mean poo sex?

I think I might be Jesus sometimes is there a deodorant for that as well.

“Did you know one in nine people have delusions of grandeur or a god complex, those people need a special deodorant to fit their special view of themselves...”

humor-blogs.com has a blog complex... and yes that is a horrible pun...

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 05:08:00 +0000

This week on Tim Dawson explosives, and hot hot boogie action...

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The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

humor-blogs.com thinks it's completely plausible to live in a volcano...

Adventures in the Public Domain: Tim Dawson

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 04:37:00 +0000

This week a new adventure, Tim Dawson man of action, adventurer, what on Earth will happen.

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The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

humor-blogs.com really wishes he would proof read these things...

A special entry: The Pope stops by

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:39:00 +0000

The following is a special entry from everyones favorite fictional pontiff.

Hey kids guess what, its me Pope Terry, its been a while I know but I've struggled free from the shackles of oppression, the ropes of... something and blah keyboard typey... maybe I could find something better do do with my time. Eh fuck it... so whats new with you? Ha, I'm kidding I don't really care, its really just a courtesy.

Me, oh I'm glad you ask I've been doing so much its not funny. Well in between the exorcisms and other papal shit me and the cardinals get up to, (watching porn mostly), I havent been doing anything. What him, the bag of meat I seemed to be lumbered to... yeah he hasn't been doing anything either, least of all writing, which I guess is why I'm here. He bought some pants though, oh and he got married... Ha, no he didn't I'm kidding, he's desperately lonely... the loser.

He is going strong on the 'Mask of the Snake' though, now even being a fictional character, a product of his imagination, I can say without a doubt, its almost in the top five internet serials about drunken people and Nazis I've read. And if you're not enjoying it then... well don't tell him he's quite fragile.

Alex L: “Fragile like a fox”
Pope: “That doesn't mean anything, no fuck off I'm doing an entry for you”
Alex L: “Who are you entering?”
Pope: “Oh very clever”
Alex L: “Well I thought so”
Mum: “Whats going on in here”
Pope: “Oh go away will you, were busy”
Alex L: “Yes quite busy [shifty eyes]”
Mum: “Doing what I want to help?”
Pope: “Well you can't”
Mum: “Why not?”
Pope: “Because you just a voice, being put on by an imaginary charater, who lives in his head [points to Alex]”
Alex L: “Ha, suck shit mum”
Pope: “Son of a Namek this is getting stupid.”

humor-blogs.com loves its mum, it would never get an imaginary character to impersonate her...

Adventures in the Public Domain: The Cat and Leroy

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:51:00 +0000

This week on The Cat and Leroy, the whole adventure, including the FINALE!

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Page Three
Page Four
Page Five
Page Six
Page Seven
Page Eight
Page Nine
Page Ten
Page Eleven
Page Twelve
Page Thirteen
Page Fourteen
Page Fifteen
Page Sixteen
Page Seventeen
Page Eighteen
Page Nineteen
Page Twenty

Page Twenty-one, the final.

The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

humor-blogs.com hopes you still respect it tomorrow

A special entry: The Silence

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:13:00 +0000

Foreword: Inspired by the events of last Saturday night.

“...and you're such a mouthy bitch” He said, standing behind the kitchen counter looking far less drunk than he obviously was. And then there it was, the awkward silence to end all awkward silences. Tumbleweeds had time to roll through stop half way realise it was to awkward even for them and slink back off into the distance.

There were at least ten people in the room, arse clenched waiting for it to start again, a few were brave enough to move and leave the room, the rest just stayed where they were. Me, I tried to look at the TV and pretend I was watching the boxing. But averting eyes from the horror unfolding was akin to being present at Dr Frankenstein's triumph. Dear god its a freak show but if you take your eyes off that, your going to regret it for the rest of your life.

He sniffed a few times and then completely oblivious to the situation, poured himself another drink. Three quarters Jim Beam, and a splash of coke. I took my chances and turned my had for a full glance at the fallout, looking at the poor bloke stuck in between the car crash and the shark attack. He glanced back, in that second we shared a moment. 'Don't move' I suggested telepathically, I think he got the message. There was no where he could go anyway, escaping into the cupboard behind him wasn't an option.

Friend to one, boyfriend to the other... it was still silent, deadly so. The Crickets sat in the corner staring at the floor legs splayed apart daring not make even a chirp of noise. One of them even dropped their cigarettes and didn't even attempt to pick them up. Ten seconds, couldn't have been more than ten seconds. But what a ten seconds... the silence, the horror... the horror...

humor-blogs.com thinks it can't have been that bad... it's wrong!

Adventures in the Public Domain: The Cat and Leroy

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 07:58:00 +0000

This week on The Cat and Leroy, a real deep examination of some fairly major character flaws...

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To see the other pages simply click the 'The Cat and Leroy' label.

The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

humor-blogs.com is enjoying this penultimate edition!!!

A special entry: Excuses, excuses...

noreply@blogger.com (Alex L) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 05:29:00 +0000

Well, Monday again and after a long weekend of me being busy, guess what? I've got nothing again. But this time I have a bit of an excuse. Friday I helped a friend move and then we had some drinks. So that was fun, and injury inducing. But when you're as strong as me you don't let an injury stop you. Just a flat pack TV unit, those things a spawned from Satan's tool shed I swear. We get all the way through making it and there is one screw missing.

But that was Friday, on Saturday I had more social obligations, an engagement party to attend. It takes a hefty price to be the social butterfly I am kids. But some one has to do it. So some drinks some food, and a few spews later, I find myself in bed on Sunday morning, wondering why my mouth is so dry and whether, I'm really hungry... or I need to spew again. I was hungry. Hooray.

Yeah that's right I got drunk on the weekend and didn't write anything to post here, yes, yes, very mature of me I know but hell someone has to do it. I will say this though, having a spew whilst drunk isn't anywhere near as bad as while sober is it. Of course you're completely unaware of the smattering of yak located on different parts of your clothing. But the actual process, its almost as easy as breathing. But in case you're wondering what kind of drunk I am I'm very considerate, I even got a ride home in the back of my friends Ute because I didn't want to be visited by the vomit fairy in his car, aren't I nice...

humor-blogs.com would like to advocate responsible consumption of alcohol