a few days ago, a mass grave was discovered at a former Indian Residential School in Kamloops, BC. the grave contained the bodies of 215 Indigenous children. it's a heartbreaking reminder of the atrocities that my country has committed against our Indigenous population and the generational trauma we've caused.

so my friends and I are trying to do our bit. since November, my friends have been releasing a Spotify playlist every month—it's called the Perfect Playlist Project. this month (June is National Indigenous History Month, as it happens), we're inviting everyone to add their favourite summer song to our collaborative playlist. for every song added, we will donate $5 to the Indian Residential School Survivor Society (IRSSS). here's our Linktree.

playlist closes June 20 / one song per person

if you've got a minute, I welcome you to add a song to the playlist, and perhaps take a minute to learn about what the IRSSS does. reconciliation is ongoing work, and I hope that this small fundraiser can help contribute to it.

writing to you from the unceded territories of the Coast Salish and Interior Salish Peoples, including the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), and Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.

#EveryChildMatters
a.

as for me, I'm treading water and I'm tired. so, this weekend, I set aside time to do things that make me feel like myself. on Saturday, I got up around 6:30 for a morning walk and did some field recording. (I should make a page for my field recordings.) got my 10,000 steps in by 8 am. on Sunday, I downloaded some footage from my camera and edited a couple videos. the first of those is up now:

I cringe a little at my voice and my playing. my ambition exceeds my ability, which is always awkward. I also find myself cringing at my appearance—why did I wear that, why did I style my hair like that, why is my face shaped like that—and have to flex my under-used self-compassion muscles.

lately, I've been all input and no output. (okay, I'm exaggerating, but that's how it feels.) the uke has been a good way for me to get offline and to finish things—songs. another thing about learning ukulele is that it's a simple instrument, easy to pick up quickly. makes it a good fit for my casual approach to music. I don't want to be great, I don't want to make this a career. I just want, after a day full of dread and stress and hollow accomplishment, to come home and sing something.

you can hear more uke on YouTube soon, and I'm sure I will find a place for it on this site too. eventually.

still swimming,
a.

I bought a domain name! this proudly canadian site is now thedigitaldiarist.ca. I also have a new email address, alicia@thedigitaldiarist.ca, so your messages don't get lost among my dozens of newsletter subscriptions anymore.

other updates:

• added a couple items to relax
• added Chemical Hearts (2020) to my film diary

jan 18 2021

added two more pages:

• over in watching, 2021 film diary
• over in audio dramas, Big Finish recommendations

as I say in my site welcome, this place is a central repository. the media I encounter and engage with is a big part of my life. one of my goals this year is to keep better track of it all, here, in one place. and if you engage with any of the same media, hit me up! I'm happy to chat about it.

cheers,
a.

wish me luck with my reading goals!
a.

• moved the diarist reads aloud from reading to listening
• added two new twitter threads to e-lit
• added Hank's Pay Attention substack to articles of interest
• created 2021 reading journal
• uploaded two lost dispatches to {{reverberations}}: choices & fall at last

this was a hard day. (what with the assault on democracy happening in the US.) but I will instead choose to remember the inspiring, wonderful, fantastic fungi resources people sent me this afternoon upon hearing I was interested in the subject.

the start of a new year so often feels bittersweet. I struggle to imagine the future. I get caught up remembering all that I didn't do, missed out on, and failed at. and yet, here I am, sharing what I'm reading, happily learning about mushrooms, and cultivating my own digital garden, here.

my aim in 2021 - less goal-setting. more small, beautiful events. more friendship.

more fungi?

still here,
a.

“November—with uncanny witchery in its changed trees. With murky red sunsets flaming in smoky crimson behind the westering hills. With dear days when the austere woods were beautiful and gracious in a dignified serenity of folded hands and closed eyes...Days when an exquisite melancholy seemed to hang over the landscape and dream about the lake.”

– L.M. Montgomery, The Blue Castle

brisk winds, long scarves, warm blankets. bundled up outside or huddling at home. winter is here. I walked in the snow in the big wide world, then I returned to four walls, three screens, two minds, and just one life.

that's where my head's at. on to the update, and it's a long one today:

after a little clicking around, I've figured out how to set up an RSS feed for these updates! (if you were wondering who is manually writing RSS feeds in the year 2020, the answer is me.) you can subscribe by pasting the feed link into your preferred RSS reader.

additionally, there's now a link to a sitemap at the bottom of the homepage. might be useful if you're looking for something.

my pal Abbie has been rounding up a few friends (including me!) each month to watch a movie and record a commentary. it's sort of a resurrection of an old project, but it's got a brand new neocities site, thanks to me: the Title TK podcast. no name? no problem! what we lack in title, we make up for with our panel of clever, funny, enthusiastic humans talking movies. so far it's just musicals; we promise to expand our horizons in the coming months :D it's super casual, lo-fi listening and we do it just for fun, but the conversations head into some pretty interesting territory. if I were to recommend one episode, it would be our Prince of Egypt commentary in which Art and Esther discuss what makes it not just a great biblical movie, but a great Jewish movie.

in neocities news, I would like to welcome Aegi to our corner of the web! she's still setting up, but I encourage you to hop over to Aegi's Cafe and look around. tip: head over to 'Explore' to check out the observatory and do some stargazing!

a few folks lately have mentioned enjoying my recommendations, from the audio dramas to interactive fiction to free resources. firstly, I am so glad to hear this. secondly, I now put a note at the top of each page indicating when it was last updated, with anchor links to new additions. of course, I'll try to let you know here, too, if I add anything notable (but sometimes I forget). thirdly, there are so many things in my bookmarks I'd like to migrate to this site. this digital garden is always growing—sometimes slowly, sometimes in eager bursts.

what else...nanowrimo is nearly over. even with a mere 9800 words so far, I've beaten my word count totals from the last three years, and I'm proud of that. it's okay for writing not to be my top priority. I do so many other things.

and in my classic Doctor Who journey (happy belated #DoctorWhoDay), I am now enjoying the TARDIS team of the Second Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria. heckin' love those three. also been watching the Third Doctor and Jo. adore them, too. not that I would ever pit Doctors against each other...

stay cool,
a.

• we did it! » VEDS 2020 has come to an end. it was a great month, and I was very excited to see comments from new folks this year! (thank you to purelyconstructive for your thoughtful comments ♥) in case you missed it, there are 30 days worth of vlogs from me, and more than 150+ videos in total from all the VEDSies.
• new page » over in reading, I've added some articles of interest.
• play some free interactive fiction » the games of the 2020 IFComp are ready for judging! if you don't know, the Interactive Fiction Competition is "an annual celebration of new, text-driven digital games and stories from independent creators." what that means for you: there are more than 100 free-to-play games/works on the website. if you play at least 5 games, you can be a judge, and your ratings will help decide the winners! (ballot deadline: november 29th, 2020) it's a great showcase—check it out.
• front page remodel? » I want to do something with this front page. I love my minimalist text aesthetic everywhere else but this page...it needs something. what does it need? hmm...

o autumn! o teakettle! o grace!

a.

First of all—I produced a podcast! It's called Good For All and is produced within posAbilities. Here's the pitch: In our work at posAbilities, we assist persons with developmental disabilities to lead meaningful and healthy lives by partnering with the community. On our show, we share stories about disability, community and inclusion and invite you to join us as we work toward our vision of “good and full lives for all.”

The show may or may not be your thing (if you are or know someone with a developmental disability who lives in BC, it may be your thing!) but I think the first episode has wide appeal. It's about innovation in the social services sector. How do we take systems that are designed to provide the essentials of life (housing, food, mental health & addiction suport) and transform them to also help people flourish? How do we bring beauty, meaning, and purpose into people's lives? I talked to our Director of Innovation, Gord Tulloch, about it. Gord is bighearted and curious and passionate, and he is one of my favourite people I've met through work. Listen for Gord.

In other news, a listening library update! I have added a page detailing some of my favourite audio dramas. I've got some Big Finish Doctor Who stories, some podcasts, and obviously some of Dirk Maggs' projects. As I write this, it is one giant page, but I may split it into multiple pages to make it more readable.

We are heading into the home stretch for VEDS. I've been doing shout-outs on Sundays, and this week's shout-outs were Doctor Who-themed because I am getting into Classic Who! One audio drama (linked on the new page!) and also the documentary series by Clever Dick Films on YouTube. Richard's videos are looking at the whole history of the show and everything that surrounds it, one Doctor at a time. (He is also, I'm proud to report, my 100th subscriber. Thank you, sir.)

His videos were the push for me to get into the Classic era, so I am starting with the Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker. May as well start with the really iconic one, right? And you guys...I am loving it. I love Tom's Doctor, I love Elisabeth Sladen as Sarah Jane Smith, I love the stories we get in seasons 12 & 13. For this brief moment, as I burn through classic episodes like an expanding star, I am filled with utter joy.

friends, I am very tired. lonely, and tired, and making all kinds of decisions I'm not proud of. (if I haven't messaged you back I'm probably agonizing about it, though of course that does you no good.) but then again, making so many things I am proud of. connecting with people. writing. listening. the world is terrifying and it is beautiful and I...am here.

you are here too. thank you for being here.

gratefully yours,

a.

in the spirit of vlogging, I've also added a couple more royalty-free music resources to the free resources page—the Blue Dot Sessions and Loyalty Freak Music.

{{ reverberations }} #002: extraordinary everyday things

I am...struggling to do meaningful work as of late. even on good days, it feels as if I am escaping my life rather than living it. but create something that's mine, even if no one reads it...just another in a long line of attempts to feel like a person.

a well-done email newsletter is a beautiful thing. diving into Robin's, I realized that he loves print (he would regularly print and ship zines to the newsletter readers), reads widely, sees the world in a way I understand, and is just generally very good at keeping a public notebook. it is an enriching reading experience.

it makes me want to write...something. I love journaling, but it's private. I've never had much success with blogging and yet—if I committed to making something, stuck with it long enough to find my voice, I think I could make something I'm proud of.

I'm feeling inspired, gang. and dang, has it been a while.

recent updates to the pandemic page include: some stylish, downloadable Zoom backgrounds; journal prompts; additional ways to do good; and maybe one of my videos is hiding on this page somewhere too...

plus, a few new game additions to the e-lit page. no time like the present to dive into the world of interactive fiction.

EDIT (april 21): just added pandemic listening to the podcasts section.

I should be sleeping already but whatever!! the page now has a few uplifting news stories, a little entertainment, and links to trusted sources for more info. and now, for real, I am going to bed.

goodnight!
a.

4:37pm PST• march 17 2020

this page is only about 20 minutes old as I write this, but I will be updating this page about the coronavirus outbreak with resources, suggestions, and thoughts as they occur.

with you,
a.

maybe you are in need of a little company. maybe you're like me, and audiobooks are one of the ways you keep up with your reading. I will be posting the stories I read here: the diarist reads aloud.

EDIT: if y'all have requests for things you would like to hear me read, let me know! I welcome your suggestions.

don't panic,
a.

the writing page now includes an faq about journaling and a bit of my experience mood tracking with daylio. over at links & resources, there's a nice little collection of free resources, communities I like, some music to relax to, and other stuff. and finally, the beginnings of a page on electronic literature—my interest has largely been hypertext fiction, but the e-lit umbrella also encompasses interactive works, online multimedia work, art games, digital poetry and generally work that is meant to live in the digital space.

the site is looking nicely minimalist & text-based—as much as I love some of the busy, throwback web design here on neocities, I've realized that I want to use this space to write more than to play with design. I've also embraced my unfinished, to-be-updated pages. blogging has never been my forte, in part because I'd end up with a lot of half-finished drafts. well, now we are going to end up with a sprawling web of "static" yet constantly evolving pages. I will try to shout out major updates here on the homepage. I encourage exploration.

lastly—neocities fam, show me your sites! I love seeing your comments on my profile and would like to get to know you. I make no promises (because I am the worst) but I will endeavour to be around, leave comments for all y'all, and be a good community member. grateful for you, gang.

much love,
a.