I’ve been having my Bars run and running Bars since last August and recently I realized I no longer have any allergic reactions to cats and my allergies are not as sever overall. How cool is that? A recent client wanted to quit smoking and after having her first Bars session she hasn’t smoked since!

I am finding that a lot of people aren’t familiar with the Bars and so I am doing a free intro call this Thursday night. I’ll be talking about the Bars, Access® and answering questions. The call starts at 7pm Eastern time and we will go for about an hour. If you are curious here is the link to register: www.BarsIntroCall.Eventbrite.com

If you are local, I am also doing an in-person intro to the Bars and giving Bars tasters (mini Bars sessions). I am hosting the event at my house in Swedesboro, NJ. It’s $20 and we’ll have snacks, too. Let me know if you, a friend or a group of friends would like to come. There is no official registration so email me to R.S.V.P and I’ll send you the address and directions Sandy@TheDreamingCafe.com.

Just in case you are not on Facebook, my new website is: www.WakeUpLiveNow.com where I will be playing with the Access® tools, including Bars.

And, if that doesn’t interest you, no big deal. I am still writing, sharing and working with clients here at The Dreaming Cafe.com while we travel the path of self-discovery, self-expression and self-employment together.

A recent event where I ran Bars Tasters…

“I have to find some to redesign my website. I have to schedule a new teleclass. I have to send out an update to the students from my last class. ”

The more she said I ‘have to’ the heavier the energy felt, the sticker it got and the less enthusiasm she had for her business – a business and work that she normally loves to be and do.

I know from personal experience that as soon as I hear ‘have to’ I balk and I skid to a complete stop. It doesn’t matter if someone else is saying it to me or if I am saying it to myself.

Since I recognize this reaction instead of working hard to change it, I just do something different. I now ask questions like… “What would I like to accomplish today? What would be the greatest contribution to me, my business and my clients? What have I been avoiding or putting off that if I did it would open up space for me to create and generate even more? If I mow the lawn today instead of tomorrow when I have nothing else planned will that allow me to have a whole day to write or play?”

At home and at work most people know that if the ask me to do something or help them I am right there and we get it done. If someone tries to tell me to do something, the results aren’t nearly as good, if there are any results at all.

So, this week I started to ask my client questions, working with her to turn her ‘have-to’s’ into questions and breaking things down into small steps.

For example:

“I have to find someone to redesign my website.” This statement, the conclusion that she had to have her website redesigned created a sense of urgency, stress and overwhelm. It had to be perfect or else she’d fail and no one would ever find her, she’d lose her business, go bankrupt and be living on the street.

I know it sounds funny, but how many times have you fallen into the trap of making a task so big and allowing it to take a life on of its’ own that it practically swallowed you and paralyzed you? I know it’s happened to me in the past.

First, we began to ask questions about her website:

What worked?
What didn’t work?
What did she like about it?
What didn’t she like about it?
What elements did she feel were missing?
What aspects of working with her website did she like doing herself?
Was it that she didn’t know how to do some things, or was it that she didn’t like doing them?
What was she willing to do and /or learn to do?
Was it more beneficial for her to outsource all of it or some of it?
How much time did she think it would take to maintain a website?

Then we brainstormed some ideas of how she could find someone to help her with her website.

The results of asking questions and brainstorming created a greater sense of ease and whole lot less stress around the issue of redesigning her website.

Yes, she wanted to rebrand the website, but the structure of the website and most of the content still fit. It didn’t have to be redesigned from the ground up.

We determined that what she needed was a new logo and new colors, something that was a little more professional and not so whimsical. Her current colors and design projected an image that just wasn’t as professional as the clients she found she liked working with the most. And, one of the the best parts is that creating a new logo and choosing new colors for her website is going to be less expensive than a complete redesign and a much quicker start to finish timeline.

As for her web content, it appeared that most of what she had would still fit with just a little editing. We broke the task down into small steps. She could spend a few hours each week editing and/or writing additional content and during each editing session she’d work on just one page or one area of the website at a time. This made the whole process much more manageable. Within a month she’d be done.

In the past she had blogged on occasion with little or no structure. She wanted to change this. She decided she could easily write 1-2 blog posts a week and with a little training she could post them herself until she was ready to hire an assistant. We created a schedule for writing and posting with deadlines and brainstormed topics. We also talked about adding video in the future and what that could look like.

During the brainstorming session we decided that she could post on Facebook and other social media sites for recommendations to hire someone to help her choose new colors and design a new logo for her. This particular task wasn’t something she could do herself, nor did she have any desire to do it herself or to tackle the steep learning curve required. She also decided to seek help and recommendations from several of the networking and small business groups she belonged to.

Overall, when we were done, the ‘have-to’s’ were turned into questions, small actions steps and a ‘can-do’ attitude instead. Her business began to feel fun again and something she wanted to do instead of something she had to do.

Now, honestly how cool is that?

I’ve been asking myself “What would it take for me to finish and self-publish them all over the next few months?”

The obvious answer is to sit my butt down in front of the computer every day for a few hours.

So, that is what I’ve decided to do. I am choosing to devote a minimum of one hour a day to finishing these book projects, putting them out into the world and by doing so open up space for new projects and more fun.

I have one favor to ask though before I start. Would you be willing to take a one question survey and rank the book titles in the order of which books you’d mostly be interested in reading? It should only take about a minute or two. Thanks! Click here to take the survey

I’d spent weeks making notes, working on the website, starting and stopping and getting nowhere. There was too much to do and not enough time. I was continually making notes and overwhelming myself with everything I thought I had to do.

I wanted a BIG launch. I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted to prove to everyone (don’t ask me who ‘everyone’ is) that I knew I was a “pro’. Ha. Do you know where those thoughts got me? Nowhere.

So, yesterday I decided to take my own advice. I broke everything down that I thought needed to be done into small steps and jumped right in.

Is the new website perfect? No.

Does it have lots of content? No.

Is it finished? No.

Did any of this stop me? Not this time.

If I kept waiting until everything was perfect I still wouldn’t have a new website.

And, you know what? It doesn’t matter. I started, I took action and I had TONS of fun doing it.

This is what I love doing – learning, creating, taking action and sharing.

Sharing what I’ve learned, and what I know, with others in ways that helps and empowers them to go after their own dreams by breaking things down and taking small action steps is what I LOVE to do.

I realized today that despite launching my new website and my new business I can’t walk away from The Dreaming Cafe because I love what I do here, what I create here and how I contribute to others here.

Wake Up Live Now is an expansion of my life, my living and the ways I can contribute to others.

There is room enough in my life for both The Dreaming Cafe and Wake Up Live Now.

If you are curious about my new business and what new things I am doing you can head on over to www.WakeUpLiveNow.com.

If you need a little one-on-one help today to begin breaking your dreams down into small action steps I am once again scheduling private sessions, in-person or via phone or Skype. Email me and we’ll schedule a time to chat to see how I can contribute to YOU. Contact me at: Sandy@TheDreamingCafe.com

A recent testimonial…

Sandy…you make a great biz/creativity coach! Thanks so much for the great ideas and questions to consider and thanks for sharing. I also very much appreciate your support and enthusiasm. Thanks, Lynn. (www.WholeLifeBoogie.com)

I guess it has, but I really didn’t notice that so much time had gone by.

As many of you know after a three years of treatment for stage IV cancer my Mom went on hospice in January 2012. I spent the last year taking care of her. She was an amazingly strong, independent woman and I’m so grateful to have been able to be with her throughout her journey. She passed away on January 1, 2013.

I miss her a lot, while at the same time I know she is happy and pain free now.

As for me, I have a lot more time on my hands and I’ve been questioning the direction I desire to travel.

So much has changed the last few months. I’ve changed.

I’m not quite ready to bare my soul, or share all that has taken place, but I will share one big change that is going to occur.

The Dreaming Cafe is going away.

The Dreaming Cafe was one of the first steps I took to begin moving outside of my comfort zone, to share the things I loved and to engage with the world around me.

It has been an amazing journey, one I could have never imagined when I wrote and shared my very first blog post almost four years ago on February 23, 2009.

I’ve met so many inspiring, gracious, creative people along the way, many who have become good friends.

But, as much as The Dreaming cafe has contributed to me, it’s time to move on.

This will be my final post.

I’d love to stay in touch though. You can reach me via email at Sandy@TheDreamingCafe.com (yes, I am keeping this email address) or you can friend me on Facebook, www.facebook.com/SandyDFromNJ

May your life be filled with joy and ease and all your dreams come true.

Below is an image of the email I received with notes I made to help you spot a fake or potentially harmful email, one that is attempting to steal your account information.

This email is from PayPal, but the same warning signs can apply to emails from banks, credit cards companies and other accounts that may have your personal information.

Tips for spotting a fake or potentially harmful email…

• The ‘from’ email address should be from the company/vendor: example this should have been something like ‘service@paypal.com‘ but instead it was paypal@dll-service.com‘. See the difference?
• If this email was real, the salutation would have addressed me by name, or at least by the name on my account. This email said ‘Dear PayPal Customer”.
• They requested I click a link to confirm MY account. NEVER click links within an email. Go directly to your account page like you normally would, log in and see if they have posted any messages for you.
• If you are still not sure, go to the company website and call their customer service department and ask them if they sent you an email. Make sure you go to the website on your own, NOT by clicking any links in the email.

Side note – if someone calls you on the phone to verify your account NEVER give them any information. Tell them you are busy and will call them back. If they offer to give you a phone number to call, tell them no thank you, that you have their phone number, it’s right on your bill or account statement. You can then call the company directly using the phone number you already have to verify the call was real or an attempt to steal your personal information.

Fake PayPal email… (download by clicking this link or my clicking the image below: PayPal_Spoof_Fake_Email.pdf

But, trying to choose is like Barbara Sher’s says, “trying to feed just one of my children.”

I just can’t do it.

For me, self-discovery, self-expression or self-employment are linked in a kind of perpetual motion journey.

Committing to the journey of self-discovery, leads to a desire for creative self-expression, which often leads to seeking a life of greater personal freedom and independence which leads to some form of self-employment either full-time or part-time, which in turns provides more opportunities for self-discovery and creative self-expression – it’s a never ending cycle of exploration and discovery.

The Dreaming Cafe is where self-discovery, self-expression and self-employment come together.

I don’t have to choose one thing and neither do you. Take your first steps and see where it takes YOU.

Want to share your journey? Or, need help getting started? Leave a comment or email me at: Sandy@TheDreamingCafe.com

My Local McDonald’s Swedesboro, NJ

Recently though I’ve made several visits to our local McDonald’s to get lunch for my Mom and I’ve been very surprised at the incredible service I have received.

I’m always greeted with a smile and a sincere “How can I help you today?”

Special requests (which Mom always has) are again met with a smile and a “no problem” response.

The restaurants are clean and neat, even during the midday lunch rush. And, no matter if I’m talking to the cashier or the employee wiping the tables I am always treated like a special guest.

I’ve been to many a fancy restaurant and not received such wonderful service.

I was even more impressed when one day when I had to wait a few minutes for a special request and watched as about a dozen Spanish speaking warehouse/factory workers came in and they opened a special cash register with a bi-lingual cashier to take orders for all of these customers.

Now, how cool is that? What excellent customer service and business sense!

I was so impressed with the customer service level at this McDonalds I asked to speak to the manager and expressed how pleased I was the service they provided and gave special kudos to the cashiers I had seen providing excellent service.

There are numerous retail stores and restaurants I will not visit anymore because I’m always treated as an intrusion, like I’m bothering the employees by asking them to wait on me.

How many more customers would a business have and how much more money could they make if they treated their customers like my local McDonalds?

Customer Service Tips (from my local) McDonald’s…

• Greet customers with a smile.
• Be sincerely happy that they have chosen to visit your establishment.
• Offer help or assistance – and mean it.
• Greet questions or special requests as an opportunity to provide excellent service and show the customer you really want their business.
• Say “thank you for stopping by” even if the potential customer doesn’t buy anything.
• Always say thank to the customer after they’ve paid for their purchase.
• Ask the customer to come back, and tell them you look forward to serving them again.
• If you can, give them a reason to come back – coupons, a small gift, etc.
• And, do it all with a smile and a sincere, pleasant, positive attitude.

The questions spurred me to do a little research.

According to CNET.com, a popular technology site and several other news sites, Facebook is rolling out a ‘Pay to Promote’ test in New Zealand, to see if people are willing to pay to have their posts highlighted so that they will be more visible to their friends and subscribers.

So, YES, it’s real, Facebook is charging for posts…or at least testing the option, but it’s not for everyone.

Facebook is not mandating that you pay them a fee for your posts. It’s an option, just like paying for a Facebook advertisement.

If you have hundreds of friends, or thousands, and so do the people who have liked, friended or subscribed to your posts the chances of an important post, one you want people to really read and respond to, can get lost in the continuous stream of posts that occur every minute of every day.

It’s similar to the Google model. I can hope my website gets a good page rank based on their propriety algorithm or I can pay for a sponsored ad to make sure I’m at the top of a Google search for key terms I’m willing to pay for that will attract people to my business.

Finding customers takes time and effort and sometimes money.

Every business, artist, musician, politician, etc. needs to decide how much time and effort he/she is willing to invest in finding customers, clients, fans, or voters and how much money they are willing to spend – whether that money is paid out for advertisements or in ‘time as money’.

I personally lean toward the ‘time as money’ philosophy and invest my time in connecting with people, sometimes one at a time, and providing products and services that people want and need. I also invest heavily in providing FREE content on my website, through social media and my newsletter that, hopefully, people want, need and like.

I like what Fabeku Fatunmise said on Facebook on Sunday…

”Psst. This link has gotten a lot of mileage. There are a few proposed fixes. Including one that involves paying for clicks + one that might or might not work. Both sound like bad plans to me. You know the real fix for this? Do epic shit + serve up content that you people wake up craving. Then no Facebook asshattery will keep them from seeing your stuff because they’ll actively seek it out + miss it when they don’t see it. Facebook doesn’t determine your destiny, darling. You do. Set it on fire + serve it up. Problem solved.”

The link he is refering to is: http://alwaysupward.com/blog/fb-fans-arent-seeing-your-posts-and-how-to-fix-it/

What are your thoughts about Facebook’s test to ‘pay to promote’?

So, in May I made a commitment to post three times a week, preferably on a Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule.

Along with that commitment came a plan. I decided in advance what I would write about and set-up a writing schedule.

It worked. There were four and a half weeks in May and I wrote 13 blog posts – average about three per week.

But, then June came and things got crazy busy.

Without a recommitment to blogging three times a week I was almost into the second week of the month without having written anything. Whoops.

It’s then that I realized that making a commitment isn’t a one-time event.

Whether it’s making a commitment to write a blog post three times a week or making a dietary change, exercising daily, taking time for self-care, creating a loving marriage, building a successful business, working in partnership or a myriad of other small and big intentions, the commitment needs to be made over and over again.

Commitment isn’t a one-time event. It’s not even an event. It’s not static.

Commitment is dynamic. It’s an action. And, it’s an action that needs to be taken over and over again – hourly, daily or monthly – or sometimes, even moment by moment.