Summer is upon us, which means wedding season is in full swing! That said, I’ve decided to share some tips with you that will help you express your gratitude for all the wedding swag you’ve just received, will receive soon, or will eventually receive someday.

When I was little, my mom would always be like, Sarah, write a thank you note. She’d make a list of who got me what and I’d have to write to them IMMEDIATELY lest I forget. Which I don’t, because, you know, steel trap, this one.

1. Keep a List

You can have someone do this for you, but I’ve always found it really beneficial to keep a running tally of what gifts you got and who got them for you. This avoids any awkward confusion and you won’t have to write something along the lines of, “Dear Aunt Sue, thanks for the, uh, thing. With the stuff. Yeah. It was truly wonderful and we’ll use it ALL THE TIME.”

2. Get to the Point

When I was little, my thank you notes would always include mundane details about the weather, because it was hard for me to know what to say when I just wanted to express the simplest gratitude. In time, I’ve developed a strategy: save the small talk for last. When people yammer on about their dog and then say, “Oh, and by the way, we LOVED the wine stake. Come see Fluffy soon!” I just feel like they don’t actually care if I come see Fluffy or not. These days, I usually start with a greeting and follow it up immediately with something like, “I just wanted to drop you a line to express my gratitude for the gift card/book/shower cap. It’s really great.” I then follow that up with how I can’t wait to use it, how thoughtful it was, and THEN how much fun I had seeing the sender of the gift/how I’d love to catch up soon and miss them.

3. Avoid Money Talk

The amount doesn’t matter. Sure, sometimes great-grandma isn’t with the times and thinks that $5 can still buy a LOT of music. Other times, it’s a hefty sum. Either way, don’t mention the dollar amount. First of all, if it’s five bucks? It’s hard to not come across as sarcastic about that amount these days. “Yeah, um, thanks a lot for the five bucks, I can go buy a Snickers bar. Which is great, because I’ve been craving chocolate lately.” On the flip side, if it’s a lot more money, have some class and act like you’ve been there before. $2000 bucks? While that’s incredibly generous, it’s likely that the person who gave you that amount knows that. Just say “thank you for the gift of money”. Do NOT mention. The dollar. Amount.

Ever.

Now go write those notes!

(Jaime’s note: I know, I know – this post is about NOT having cake. But I really wanted to add my cake to the post because it was delicious and beautiful. Sue me.)

So I’m at my grandma’s house with my family to celebrate Father’s Day. We just had a delicious pie and everyone else is watching golf. I’m not, because I’m cool. Anyway, it got me thinking about what people could eat instead of cake. I love cake, but I love the cheap stuff: funfetti, buttercream, what have you. Not a huge fondant fan, and not a fan of needing to use a jackhammer to tear a piece off. And yes, I know, if the cake is well made, this won’t be necessary. Got it. But still. Here are some alternatives for those of you who aren’t all that big on cake!

1. Pie

The pie I just had was a creamy chocolate turtle pie and it was delicious and I’m going to go run like, 40 miles so I don’t feel like a disgusting slob. BUT. Slob feeling aside, it was delicious, and that’s all that matters. Obviously, you can choose any pie you want. Not everyone likes chocolate. Sometimes, you just can’t fix crazy.

2. Cupcakes

These are little and manageable and cute. Good if you like cake but don’t want a HUGE cake.

3. Cake Pops

I think the concept of these is awesome. If something is on my plate, and I’m not about to bust my seams, I’ll just eat it, because it’s there. Which isn’t the best habit. But these things are like, two bites! And then they’re gone! And they’re cute! And don’t require silverware! And they taste good! WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN.

4. Pizza

I’m throwing this in here because I think it’d be SUPER COOL to have a really laid back wedding where instead of serving things like “minted lamb with a cherry glaze” (whatever that is), we just eat all the food I like (macaroni and cheese, Chinese takeout, etc). I think it’d be classy in the least classy way possible to get a cake tower and set pizzas on there. Leaning Tower of Pizza. It’s perfect.

5. Styrofoam

OK, so this is partly because I’m starting to run out of ideas, but also partly because I think styrofoam would probably actually taste better than some cakes I’ve had. Just saying.

What do you think is a fantastic alternative to cake?

I’ve heard a lot of talk about the art of the wedding toast, and there are a number of resources on this topic, so it’s no surprise that it’s a hot debate. I’m by NO means an authority on public speaking, like, I tend to just avoid eye contact, look around awkwardly, and tremble in my stilettos just a tad.

But here’s what I don’t want to hear when I’m at a celebration of love. Or really, any other occasion.

1. The relationship history of either couple

While this might fascinate me if it were to just come up in conversation, because I’m nosy sometimes, this isn’t something I’d want to be shared with my entire extended family, and it’s not something I want to hear about if I barely know anyone there. I’m sorry, but the couple’s relationship history didn’t start “when you dumped that one chick, whatsherface, and she egged your house, but she got the wrong house and that’s how you met.” Just don’t bring up exes.

2. It’s not a roast

There’s no need to insult anyone in the wedding party, or anyone else, for that matter. A toast is for you to express your well wishes to the couple. There are plenty of ways to make people laugh without being insulting.

Here is a general guideline:

It should be short and sweet. The sweet part is slightly more important, in my opinion. Introduce yourself, tell a brief anecdote about how you know the couple, maybe crack an innocent joke, wish them well, and sit down. Here’s what I would say (we’ll use my friend L as an example):

“Hi, I’m Sarah, I’ve known L since 6th grade band class when she walked in and sat down next to me, including me in a conversation with her and another girl that ended with ‘Sorry, we have boy problems’. J, you’re getting such a wonderful woman, and I know you’ll give her everything she deserves. I’ve never seen her as happy as she is when she’s with you, and I’m so happy you’ve put an end to her boy problems. Best of luck to you guys and your future together. Cheers.”

What are some of the best and worst toasts you’ve heard?

And exhausted!

Just wanted to share a quick photo from the wedding day with you guys. Everything went better than I imagined, and the next few weeks I’ll share each and every detail. But for now, I’m going to take a day or two off to decompress and celebrate.

If you have any specific questions, ask away – I’ll try to answer them all.

Love,
Jaime

Joyce and Patrick are the cutest couple, and I’m so lucky to call Joyce a friend of mine! She was also kind enough to answer our four little questions, keeping with the theme of the week. Big thanks to her for her time – make sure to head over to her site, The Alchemy Shop, for all your adorable dressing/accessorizing needs!

1. What was the most amazing moment? When it was all over and we were actually married. Our relationship was 100% solid going into the wedding, but the idea of marriage (not marriage to him, just ‘marriage’) always made me a bit nervous because it is such a big step. But when the ceremony was over, all the nervousness washed away and it just felt so good. One thing I will tell bride-to-bes, based on my own experience, is that for me, my relationship with Patrick doesn’t feel any different. But everyday I just feel elated and wake up incredibly happy to have him as my husband. You are going to love it!

2. What would you do differently? I would have picked a different hotel. It was an amazing vacation spot, but I had reservations about how problem solving their staff could be even before I got there. Unfortunately, after speaking with more senior staff, they had assured me that everyone would be fine and I decided to not switch hotels. Of course then, we had a major problem on my actual wedding day. Although the rest of our time there was nice, because our wedding day was affected, my husband and I always have that cloud over our head, not when thinking about the wedding, but when thinking about that hotel. It’s not something you expect when you pay for a hotel that charges as much as they did. Actually, I think they might have been the most expensive hotel on the entire island.

3. Did you freak out about anything on the wedding day? How did it turn out? The hotel had an unexpected power outage the day of my wedding right when I was suppose to get my hair and makeup done. After 90 minutes of telling me that it was going to come back on any minute I had to problem solve the situation myself and have them execute for me since we were 90 minutes late doing our hair, makeup, pressing clothing, etc. My makeup and hair didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted due to the lack of electricity, we were sweaty the entire time and I ended up getting ready in a women’s locker room under incredibly bad lighting, so all that and the stress from the lack of problem solving from the hotel was a bit upsetting and not how you want to go into your wedding ceremony.

4. What advice would you give me (or, you know, those other people getting married) about the wedding day? Hire a wedding planner. I went with Iben of Hawaii-Wedding.com and she was a dream. We didn’t have to take care of anything and felt zero stress, that is, until the hotel lost power, lol. I get that some people want to make their own favors, shop for flowers, etc. I’m not one of them. I loved that I was able to tell Iben what I wanted and magically it would happen. Oh, you want to come in on a unicorn sliding down a rainbow? Sure! OK, so maybe my requests weren’t that demanding, but you get the gist. Actually, I ended up feeling so comfortable with her decisions that a week before the wedding I let her choose my wedding dress. I had purchased three options and couldn’t figure out which one to wear, so I just her decide. And the funny part is, because I live in NYC and she lives in Hawaii, all of the planning was done over email and phone. We didn’t even meet in person till I got to my ceremony. Talk about organized!

Today we get to hear from the guy’s side! Two grooms, two different stories but with the same theme and the same questions. In fact, one of the grooms is married to yesterday’s bride!

First, here’s Jon – Lauren’s husband.

1. What was the most amazing moment? The most amazing moment with Lauren was standing at the altar with her on our wedding day.

2. What would you do differently? What I would do differently is I would have not have one the fist pump before our kiss (Was kind of corny).

3. Did you freak out about anything on the wedding day? How did it turn out? I didn’t really freak out on our wedding day, I was surprisingly calm. The day turned out perfectly in my mind.

4. What advice would you give about the wedding day? Advice I would give is not let what is going on around you bother you. It is your day and you are marrying the one that you love and nothing will change that. It doesn’t have to be a perfect day and the only thing that matters is that everyone is there to watch your wedding and celebrate with you. The only important people are you and your spouse. Don’t waste time trying to talk to everyone, enjoy your day the way you want to and people will come to you and talk if they want to.

And here’s a few answers from one of Sarah’s good guy friends (his wife has asked that we keep them anonymous, and I’m more than happy to oblige!)

1. What was the most amazing moment? Certainly hard to pick a single most amazing moment, but I will go with the ceremony itself. Our ceremony was very nontraditional and very personal to us. A dear friend performed the ceremony and it was a lot of fun as well as being sincere and sweet. I enjoyed it very much, including the moment where I was so flustered that I couldn’t even repeat a line of the Ring Exchange even though the officiant said it twice!

2. What would you do differently? I don’t know that I would change anything. I loved every moment of the day from when I woke up until I went to sleep.

3. Did you freak out about anything on the wedding day? How did it turn out? Prep time was a little short, mainly because me and the groomsmen all went clay-pigeon shooting that morning and had so much fun doing it that we lost track of time. It turned out alright in the end but I could’ve used another 30 min to an hour to be more relaxed as we showered and got ready for the wedding.

4. What advice would you give about the wedding day? Remember that it’ll all work out in the end…you will be married to the love of your life, even if it rains a little bit or something doesn’t work out quite as you planned. Enjoy your day spending the time with people that love and care about you. And don’t forget to dance…a lot.

The guys may not be as verbose as the ladies, but I still love what they had to share – especially the most amazing moments! And clearly the guys are less issue-prone than we are (though that’s not really much of a surprise!). What do you think?

Love,
Jaime

More bride tips!

1. What was the most amazing moment? Let me start by saying that both of us were convinced that nothing would change when we got married. That sounds crazy, right?! Getting married is quite possibly the biggest decision you make in your life! But really–we had been living together for over a year, we had joined our bank accounts, and we had already been completely integrated into each others families. We thought our wedding day wasn’t going to be a big deal. We looked at it as more of a formality. Boy, was I wrong!
I have to say the most overwhelming moment for me was our vows. We made the decision to write our own. Though we try our best to express our feelings to each other, I felt like I was hearing his true feelings for the very first time. (Cheesy, I know!) The only thing more difficult than trying not to cry through his vows was trying to make it through my own without choking up! I wasn’t exactly successful in that endeavor, but sharing my feelings for him in front of God and all the people we love was really remarkable.

2. What would you do differently? I always wanted to have a destination wedding. I actually still want to have a destination wedding! (Can you say vow renewal?) While watching my sister tediously plan her wedding years ago, I decided that I didn’t ever want to have to go through all the stress. I knew that the best solution would be to invite only the people closest to us to a small, private, romantic wedding ceremony. My mom and my sister were devastated that I would consider getting married without everyone present. They feared that certain family members would be offended that they weren’t invited or that those who wanted to be there wouldn’t be able to make the trip. I thought that we could have a big ceremony once we got home to remedy the problem. I ended up giving in to my mom and sister’s wishes. I got married locally. Looking back now, I am glad I did. Having all our favorite people around on our special day was more important than I ever would have guessed.

3. Did you freak out about anything on the wedding day? How did it turn out? HA! To make a long story short: YES! But I know you want to know the long story!: I went to my hair appointment the morning of our big day. I showed my stylist a photo of exactly what I wanted, a low bun with curls. She turned me around, styling my hair with my back to the mirror so my bridal do would be a big surprise. She turned me around after she had finished and I wanted to burst into tears! My hair was pulled back into a large cone coming off the back of my head and was completed with a rather large, yet flimsy “bump” in front. It was HIDEOUS! I told the stylist that I wasn’t exactly thrilled with my hair and she told me that I just “needed to get used to it, that’s all!” I sat in the corner of the salon with my bad hair as my entire bridal party and my mother got their hair done. I tried everything to try to fix the do myself. It just wasn’t going to happen. I finally told the stylist that I wanted her to redo my hair and she actually chastised me for it! She told me that in her 20+ years of doing hair, she had never had a single client complain about her work and that it was going to take her sooo much time to fix the problem. I was beside myself. Can you imagine looking at your wedding photos and being mortified by the way you looked? I finally got her to modify the do. It never ended up looking like the picture, but I was so relieved to have the cone and the bump gone that I didn’t even care!

4. What advice would you give about the wedding day? A wedding is one day…a marriage lasts a lifetime. People take so much time and effort to plan a wedding. We took two years to plan our wedding that only lasted a matter of hours. Take a step back to enjoy the time you have together on your wedding day, because it really does pass by too quickly. Enjoy, Enjoy, Enjoy!

I have a handful of friends who have gotten married recently, and I wanted to ask some of them four simple questions about their wedding… especially with mine coming up so soon (five days, guys. FIVE DAYS!). My friend Ana had some great answers after her wedding to Duncan, and I’m so excited to share them with you.

1. What was the most amazing moment? My most amazing moment is going to sound pretty cliché, but wow is it amazing. It was seeing Duncan waiting for me at the end of the aisle. Nothing else mattered at that point.

2. What would you do differently? I would have taken more pictures. They say that the memories in your head are most important, but I wish I had gotten better pictures with people like my grandmother and my uncle who traveled quite a distance . With more of my friends who were there from all corners of the country and world. I also felt like I didn’t talk to everyone there or had enough time to do so, but I feel like I hear this from most brides.

3. Did you freak out about anything on the wedding day? How did it turn out? I was pretty calm most of the day, but when I got into my dress and was ready to go, I felt it finally sink in. As that happened, the nerves started emerging and I realized that the limo hadn’t shown up yet. The limo driver had misunderstood my dad and wrote the address down wrong. So he was all the way North and West , and it was raining. So needless to say the limo was late.. On top of that it was not nearly big enough to carry us in. We got in but definitely wished I had been more proactive on that part. It all turned out just fine, but definitely wished I had cared more about it. It was the last thing on my list of to-do’s and it clearly was evident to me and no one else.

4. What advice would you give about the wedding day? Enjoy yourself to the max, and this is definitely advice I’ve heard from other folks : “this is probably the only time that you will have THIS group of people in the same room, ever. Stop, look at everything, look at the people who are there to support you, take a deep breath, look at your husband and just take it in.” If something doesn’t go the way you planned it, then it just didn’t go that way and you just have to brush it off and make the best of it. It probably will make for a good story later.

Know a bride who has a great story from her wedding day? Shoot me an email and we’ll get her on the site!

Love,
Jaime

We’re doing a more casual table setting, complete with hand-dyed doilies and small planted succulents, but for those of you going a more traditional route, here are some amazing options for full place settings at the table. I especially love the chevron and orange table setting (complete with adorable orange soda!).

Check these out and share some inspiration with the group!

How do you plan to set the table for your big day?

Love,
Jaime

WHO: Revlon Global Artistic Director, Gucci Westman, backstage at Marchesa Spring/Summer 2014 bridal collection runway show, during New York Bridal Week.

WHAT: Backstage at the Marchesa bridal show, Westman gave models an ethereal, luminous look to complement their magical gowns. To prep the skin, Westman used Revlon PhotoReady Color Correcting and Perfecting Primers to even out skin tone but also allow the model’s natural skin to show through.  Cheeks were given a subtle pop of color with the Limited Edition Revlon Baby Sticks for Lips & Cheeks in Pink Passion and skin was perfected with Nearly Naked Powder.  To add dimension to eyes, Westman used a mix of grey and brown shadows on the lid and added a bright white shade as highlighter around the eye, from the Colorstay 16H Eye Shadow collection (Bombshell and Adventurous).  She then worked a very thin coat of black liquid liner into the lash line and gave lashes spell-binding length and volume using the NEW Lash Potion mascara.

To complete the look Westman gave models a soft shine on the lips with ColorBurst Lip Gloss in Crystal Water.

REVLON PRODUCTS TO GET THE LOOK:
FACE:

Revlon PhotoReady Color Correcting and Perfecting Primers, $12.99

Revlon Nearly Naked Powder in various shades, $9.99

Revlon LIMITED EDITION Baby Stick for Lips & Cheeks in Pink Passion, $8.99

EYES:

Revlon ColorStay 16H Eye Shadow Quad in Bombshell (grey) and Adventurous (dark brown), $7.49

Revlon ColorStay 16H Eye Shadow Quad in Bombshell (white used as a highlighter), $7.49

Revlon ColorStay Liquid Liner in Black, $7.39

Revlon NEW Lash Potion Mascara in Blackest Black, $7.99

LIPS:

ColorBurst Lip Gloss in Crystal Water, $7.49

NAIL:

Revlon Nail Enamel in Sheer Petal (one coat), $4.99

Revlon Quick Dry Top Coat, $5.75