Three things my dad said during that phase of my life stuck with me to this day and helped me realize that my parents had my best interest in mind when it came to relationships.

In one of the first conversations I had with my dad about a guy I had a crush on, my dad told me, “Renae, your significance is not based on what a guy thinks about you or what your friends think about you. You are significant to your family and to the Lord and that is more important.” I knew that of course, but hearing my dad say that meant a lot and built my sense of self-worth.

As a sixteen-year-old, I hid from my parents a correspondence I had begun with a guy friend (okay, he was more than a friend). My attempts at secrecy failed. Lesson learned: parents find things out. In a rather difficult conversation with my parents, my dad said, “I want to be the guardian of your heart, Renae. But I can’t do that unless I know what’s going on in your life, and I can’t know that unless you talk to me!” My dad’s willingness to challenge me like that helped me realize that he wanted to protect me from unnecessary heartache at a young age and that he would be my best guide in relationships with guys. But, I had to let him do so by sharing with him what was going on in my life.

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We wanted to share this though provoking article with you from National Fatherhood Initiative’s blog. The NFI is a United States based organisation who’s mission is: To improve the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers.

Making time for your children is not easy, especially when you work a full time job. This article will show you how to be there for them.

We need to loosen up our concept of time and working schedules and be more flexible.

Tim Winton and child at the beach

It is possible, by ‘changing the shape of your time’ to create extra time for the children without necessarily losing any work time.

• Start work later once or twice a week, and do things with the children instead.
• Use travelling in the car with them as a chance to talk.
• Make sure the children feel they have better access to you at work than anyone else does.
• Make ‘holes in your day’ to get to their school for special events, especially if the kids realise you are missing out on something important at work.
• Phone or email the children from work with a brief message to let them know you are thinking of them.
• Involve the children in your working environment – take them there, introduce them to your colleagues.
• Tell the children about your work.
• Attend some of their school camps.
• Make sure you are available to them at crisis times – don’t leave all that to their mother.
• Do regular canteen duty at school.
• Pick them up from school when you can.

Idea for action:

Pick one of these things to do each week and schedule it in your diary.

I know that Dad makes his best effort to be a good dad, and that when he comes home he is full-on as a dad and doesn’t bring his work stresses home. When he comes in from work he wants to know about my day and helps me with my homework. Even if he can’t help he makes it clear when he will be able to help. What’s not so good sometimes is that occasionally Dad has to work really hard. Then when he gets home it gets to him and it gets to everyone else. When it spills out like that, then I realise what he is doing with us the rest of the time. -Naomi Creelman

If there is one thing I would do differently it would be to get a regular meal time for the children. We have too many meals on stools around the kitchen table and we only have dinner together about three times a week maximum. Although we do a huge amount together as a family at other times, I think a regular mealtime together would be one change I’d make. -Neale Fong

 

Want to become a great father? There’s lots more resources in Fathering from the Fast Lane – just $31 plus postage & handling.

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You can read more articles for busy fathers here.

Register to attend our Melville Event today:

8th March

You can also access the form here

Alternatively, you can attend the event on the 15th of March

See how Luke’s life was changed through attending a Fathering Project event.

See how Luke’s life was changed through attending a Fathering Project event.

Register to attend our Melville Event today:

15th March

You can also access the form here

Alternatively, you can attend the event on the 8th of March

See how Luke’s life was changed through attending a Fathering Project event.

Please note, we are not affiliated with any of these sites, and at the time of writing they provided some good resources.

Some useful family fun websites

• http://childparenting.about.com/od/activitiesandfun/
• http://www.amazingmoms.com/htm/familyfun.htm
• http://family.go.com/entertainment/pkg-winter-boredom-busters/
• http://fun.familyeducation.com/
• http://www.familieswithpurpose.com/
• http://www.naturalparenting.com.au/flex/articles/7933/family-fun-ideas.cfm
• http://www.familyactivityideas.com/
• http://www.familyfirst.net/
• http://www.families.org.au
• http://www.parentingideas.com.au/
• http://www.family.org/
• http://www.parenthood.com/
• http://www.family-friendly-fun.com/
• http://childparenting.about.com

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Outdoor fun activities

• Go for a family bike ride. Make it fun by exploring somewhere new, making a picnic out of it or adding a quiz or treasure hunt.
• Buy some cheap kites and fly them at a park
• Try “Bush Birthdays” for the kids ie. take a couple of carloads of kids to a bush spot, light a campfire, play a treasure hunt game, fry sausages, toast marshmallows, sing etc. We have found that kids have way more fun at such parties than most other types of party.
• Go to a museum or zoo – there is usually a special exhibit on. Find out about that exhibit in advance and make a quiz out of it [eg. How do you tell the difference between an African elephant and an Asian elephant? Find out the name of the biggest whale in the sea]. Finish with a treat.
• Ask a local radio station if your family can do a tour of the premises.
• Create a “magical mystery tour” eg drive around back streets “looking for a white volkswagon”, walk through the city, take a ferry ride on the river “looking for whales” and take a bus to a special destination. It really works for little kids. I used to make these up on the spot, changing my mind as I went. As long as there are plenty of laughs and treats it really works.
• Set up a scavenger hunt ie. make a list of things to collect. Include things from nature eg flowers, leaves, reeds. Make sure they do it in pairs (it is more fun that way).
• Have a picnic in the bush or a barbecue in a park
• Hire a canoe, catamaran or paddle boat on the local lake or river
• Make your own minigolf course
• Make your own family Time Capsule – put in items from school eg. report cards, as well as items that will be fun to look at after a few years such as newspapers, notes about your daily life. Get everyone to write themselves a letter. Then bury it somewhere and don’t open it for 5 years or so.
• 3 legged balloon volleyball - Each pair ties themselves together by a leg (or one arm) and the game is to knock a balloon back and forth. The winner is the pair who can keep knocking the balloon back for the longest time. You can also have a race section, where the pair has to keep knocking the balloon in the air without it hitting the ground (if it does they have to go back & start again)

This article is part of the Family Fun series. Come back soon to check out the next post which has some great web resources for family fun ideas.

Indoor fun activities

• Get the family together to play board games or card games
• Family Trivia Game – Each family member records trivia questions about the family on cards, especially fun and dumb things, or little things, such as “What did Mary lose at the beach on our holiday in Bali”, “What was mum’s maiden name?” etc. You can include photos, recordings, objects etc.
• Annual family memories - The whole family draws pictures of the events of the past year on sheets of paper, using crayons or coloured pens. Then hang them up on the wall. Kids may need help with categories eg. school, holidays, funny events, friends, family, world news, sport. These reflections make great family memorabilia.
• Buy a book on how to build paper airplanes and get together to do it.
• Look up the address of craft stores to buy then make model airplanes or ships
• Buy a dart board and play together (don’t forget to buy some appropriate backing for the ’near misses’).
• Create ‘FART’ times = ‘family altogether reading times’. Everyone sits down and reads together. You can do the same for family art etc.
• Torch limbo – Get 2 children to each hold a torch and point it at each other. The rest of the family limbos under the beam [hold it level]
• Have a family celebration. Make it a special meal with non-alcoholic champagne and then get everyone to write then say something about each other. Kid usually need guidance eg. it might be about what they do (cooking, emptying the dishwasher etc), who they are (funny, laugh a lot, generous, kind etc), something they have achieved (in the school band or soccer team etc) or, easiest of all, some special memory shared eg a special memory of time together on vacation
• Play ‘I Spy’ –  this can be done anywhere, anytime, spontaneously. Find an object somewhere within view and the others have to guess eg. you say “I spy with my little eye something beginning with R”, “or something blue” etc ” . Don’t say “Lets play I Spy”, just launch into it by saying “I Spy…..etc”. It almost always works.
• Create a family photo album and journal eg. using copies of photos taken over the previous year, with each family member having some responsibility for the document. Find stickers to write about each photo or event, and include some memorabilia eg. money brought home from overseas trips, plane tickets, movie entrance tickets etc.
• Get together cook some family pizzas
• Cyber fun – get your kids to teach you how to create your own facepage or myspace, to send text messages or use email (if you don’t know already).
• Look up jokes on the internet and tell them to each other (see below for website ideas)
• Kids get a lot of fun out of telling stories about the dumb things their parents have done – don’t worry about this, it is healthy. Indeed the higher achievements of the parents, the more important and humanizing this becomes. It is way more important to kids that you are a human being, not an infallible hero.

Websites for finding jokes:

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why?

Apart from the sheer pleasure of it all, there are several reasons why it is worth being intentional about family fun times. Firstly, it enriches family life, creating great memories (Side note: when children give eulogies at their parents funerals they almost always mention family fun times). Secondly, it is good for their health. Fun and laughter induce the release of endorphins, the natural morphine-like molecules that the body makes. This reduces stress (including reducing the levels of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline) and improves mood and can reduce symptoms of depression. Also, outdoor fun means more sunlight hits the retina of the eye, which also results in improved mood (lack of sunlight is a factor in SAD – ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’).

How?

If fun isn’t part of your family life, the first thing to accept is that you have be intentional about creating fun – it wont just happen otherwise. And if you don’t get on with it you might miss out on the opportunity for family fun and regret it later, especially when you hear others talk about what fun they had in their families and how it has helped them in life. It is, in the end, the responsibility of parents, to foster family fun time.

Whilst some parents are good at producing fun suggestions naturally, most families need to be exposed to fun ideas – it is hard to think of everything. here are hundreds of ideas for family fun, ranging from simply starting a game of ‘I Spy’ through to more organized creative activities such as making a family time capsule. Some take more energy than others, that is true, and it can feel exhausting just thinking about those activities. But parents can get surprisingly energized by having fun with their kids, even when they feel they just need a break.

This article is part of the Family Fun series. To see the next part, which has some ideas for fun indoors, click here.

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now full

Date: Thursday 10th November 2011

Venue: Lifestreams Christian Church Hall, Murray St, Como

Time: 6:30pm

Cost: $15

Bookings: Lifestreams Office: 9313 1600

Work, Life, Love and Energy: Tips from the Doctor

Discussion of work-life balance as it applies to mens health, relationships, work and parenting.

WA Mens Gathering 2011 asks: Are you Lost in the Male?

The WA Mens gathering this year will explore what actually can be Found in the Male.

Maybe you have never thought of attending a Men’s Gathering?

Well, think again, as a great opportunity awaits you in November 2011.

Come along and join with other good men and feel the power of authentic interaction with likeminded men and experience fellowship whilst nurturing your true male spirit.

Find out what it is like to be part of a men’s group and share your thoughts, dreams and experience with supportive men in a safe setting. Listen to and participate in workshops on maintaining and enhancing your health, exploring your creative potential, and developing strong, rewarding relationships.

All men need time away from their day to day routine and time out to create awareness around where they are at in life, and to enhance their potential as males in their communities, families, relationships and work. The Men’s Gathering provides a safe and supportive environment to do this. Here we do not judge success or failure, or pigeon hole people by occupation, education or earnings. Here we jointly explore our common strengths and challenges, and value the gifts we all bring through sharing our life stories and experiences in small groups and workshops.

What you get

This year’s workshops and activities are focussed on three aspects that can enhance every man’s life: Our Health, Creative Expression and Our Beliefs and Spirituality.
Interactive workshops aim to enhance your insights into where you are at and where you are going, and small groups allow you to discuss and explore personal issues and challenges as well as lessons learnt.

For more information, download the West Australian Men’s Gathering 2011 flyer

To Register contact  0407 493 494  or Email: wamensgathering@gmail.com