A group of researchers in Texas recently published a simple, but fascinating study where they took this concept an important step further. They studied how people’s eating habits changed when they were provided with different types of information. They split their subjects into three groups: the first group were given regular menus with no nutritional information listed; the second group were given menus that included the number of calories for each item; and the third group were given menus that listed the food, the number of calories, and how many minutes of brisk walking would be required to burn off each item.

As you can guess, the results were predictable. The group that was provided with the exercise information made overwhelmingly better eating decisions than the other two groups. In fact, there was no significant difference between the first two groups at all! Only the group provided with the exercise information made better eating choices. After all, you might not order that 600 calorie desert when you find out it’s equivalent to at least a 5 mile run, an hour long swim, or 45 minutes of jumping rope… which is great if you’re training for a triathlon, but most folks don’t budget that kind of training time into their daily routines.

I recently wrote about the fact that weight loss is over 70% nutrition-related. Calories do matter, but – short of becoming a nutritionist – how can folks gain the knowledge needed to make better eating decisions? Here are three quick tips to help you:

START KEEPING TRACK: don’t freak out. I’m not suggesting you have to track every single crumb you eat or step you take for months on end. But even a few days (I’d recommend 2 weeks) of tracking what you eat and how much you burn through exercise can be incredibly eye-opening, even life-changing. Data doesn’t lie. And tracking your calorie intake and usage gives you a gut-wrenchingly honest glimpse into your nutrition and exercise habits. It did for me. In fact, tracking calories and exercise was easily one of the most valuable things I did back when I was first trying to lose weight and get healthy, because the experience equipped me to make much better nutrition decisions. There are many ways you can track this information for yourself; you can utilize one of many free or premium online tools and websites or simply keep a “food diary”. What worked best for me was a free mobile phone app called ‘LoseIt.’

QUALITY COUNTS: this should be common sense, but 500 calories worth of cookies is not going to do your body as good as 500 calories of fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains, etc. It’s not to say you can’t enjoy “bad food” now and then, but think of calories as currency and spend wisely. Don’t be afraid to “splurge” occasionally, but develop good habits when it comes to what kinds of foods you’re going to spend your calories on each day. If you only have a set number of calories to put in your body each day, than make sure you’re getting the highest quality fuel that you can.

PERMISSION TO FAIL: Anyone who’s ever spoken to me about health and wellness has heard me say “it’s ok to fail occasionally.” And, in fact, it’s inevitable. There are simply going to be days when, despite your best intentions when you rolled out of bed that morning, those best-laid plans flew out the window before the kids even got on the bus. Life happens and we don’t always make the best decisions. As long as it’s not happening all the time, don’t stress about it or beat yourself up. Learn what you can from it, move on, and make a better choice next time. The secret is to progressively make consistently better eating choices over a long period of time. It doesn’t happen in one day or even a week or even a month. And that’s ok. Just keep pressing ahead!

I like to vary my columns and every now and then just share random thoughts. Plus we all like lists and after doing 25 such lists for 12Most.com, I’ve gotten into the habit of writing in lists, at times. I tend to be arbitrary in the number on any list, much as I do in the Men vs. Women blog series, so herewith some things on my mind right now:

~~ My son texted me the Monday of The Boston Bombings saying he was okay. It was the first I’d heard of it. I immediately went to the TV where I sat much of the rest of the day. However, it wasn’t until Thursday that he shared exactly what had happened to him.

Given it was a holiday in Boston; he had no school that day. A buddy and he decided to head over to the Finish Line. His friend wanted a coffee so they stopped first at a nearby Starbucks. My son doesn’t drink coffee. The barista messed up his friend’s order so they had to wait an extra few minutes for the re-do. Coffee in hand, they headed towards the finish line.

Very soon, they encountered people coming back and exclaiming that there had been some sort of horrible explosion. The boys turned back. Had that barista gotten their coffee order right, there but for fortune, they might have been in the midst of it all. Serendipity? Luck? Who knows?

I immediately came up with a quote that defined my feelings of both relief and gratitude. Given that I’m a new golfer, I utilized a standard line from golf:

Golf is a game of inches…Life is a game of moments.

~~ There’s one phrase that makes me crazy and is somewhat ubiquitous in life and public discourse. It’s the use of the redundancy of Reason Why. You don’t need “why” or you don’t need “reason.” Try it out and help me change this annoying misuse of words!

~~ Politics – you can’t live with them, you can’t live without them. Of course, you can choose to hide your head in the sand, but I have chosen to wade into the waters of political expression – publicly – with no more apologies. Every now and then, I write a political column. The one on Occupy Wall Street got more hits and comments than just about anything I’ve ever written.

But, I just added a political pundit to my radio show. I’ve gotten mixed feedback, with someone really upset that I strayed from my mostly parent-centric subject matteer. I don’t care. It’s my show and I’m going to take the shot. If you don’t try something new, you won’t grow and/or learn. What do you think? Go to the Radio Show tab and listen to the incredible Cherylyn LeBon and let me know?

~~ Life isn’t fair and I’m glad. As a parent, we often confront our kids’ exclamation that life isn’t fair. Think about it. If life were really fair, wouldn’t it be horribly boring? If every time we did something bad, we immediately got punished, we’d never do anything bad. The converse is also true. But, just as my first item on this list of musings, isn’t the serendipity of life part of what makes it interesting?

Naturally, when something truly tragic happens to someone completely undeserving, I feel horrible and wish it hadn’t happened. But, truly if this were applied in life, where would we get meaning? There would really be no more free choice.

I think that’s enough for this column of random and unconnected reflections. Again, I welcome you to add yours.

There are two other sayings and/or questions – on death and divorce – that, depending on the situation belong on the trash-heap!

1.    How old was the person when he or she died?

2.    Well, at least you got your gorgeous, wonderful children (out of your marriage that just recently ended in divorce)!

I’ll explain my view on these and the context in which they often come up and are expressed. I believe they are often as foolish and/or insensitive as those that asked my mom if I was her only child.

Perhaps this issue isn’t quite as earth shattering as the economy or conflicts in The Middle East, but I like to tackle issues and problems that I might have a chance to impact. I can dream, can’t I?

Let’s start with the first question most of us ask upon hearing that someone died, especially if we hear it’s a parent or grandparent – How old was he or she?

Again, it seems a perfectly normal and innocent question but when you really think about it the question is not only naïve but diminishes the grief of the recently deceased person’s family. What difference does it really make if the person who died was 80, 90, or even 100? Is the grief less – at that moment?

Yes, sometimes if an elderly relative is living in pain, death is a blessing of sorts. And, yes it is more tragic when a younger person dies too young, especially a parent outliving a child. But, regardless of the age, the loss of a dear loved one is painful and I think a better question would be, “Can I do anything to help?” or “Is there anything that you need?” Maybe even a simple commiseration such as, “I know how much he or she meant to you.”

When my parents died at 89 and 90, I was heartbroken. I was not ready for them to leave our very small family. My father was still in full spirit when cancer finally overtook him at 90 and, yes, my mother’s death was one of those mixed blessings, but I grieved as much as if she had been totally vital at her death.

I believe that the survivors of the deceased simply want our love, our condolences. They really don’t need to hear what a lucky, long life their just departed loved one had.

Question number two always seems to follow hearing the news of a divorce, when there are kids in the family. In an effort to comfort the friend or relative going through the trauma of a divorce, people will often say, “Well, at least you have your beautiful children (out of the marriage).” While most of us will hear that and initially think it’s true, upon reflection that statement is really dumb.

Why couldn’t we have had equally beautiful children with a spouse that didn’t lie, cheat, or otherwise end the marriage where children were involved? Heck, we might have even had more beautiful children with someone brighter, kinder, and better than the louse that just left without a second thought, leaving behind those said “beautiful children.”

Again, perhaps what is needed instead, is what I really needed upon my wife’s leaving – some comfort and help! Heck, the mother of my young boys pretty much packed up and left for good. It’s a long story, but this was during the time I was caring for my ailing parents, when the boys were just 6 and 9, and I had to begin to handle a California divorce and California (Anti) Family Courts. I was devastated.

Yes, I had two terrific children. And, ironically, caring for them during what I call the Dark Days of Divorce helped me stay centered on the bigger picture versus dwell on worries of what lay ahead. But, I’d sure have appreciated a couple of dinner invitations during that first summer. I’d sure have appreciated family friends offering to babysit the boys so I could have a night off.

There’s a saying and a song about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Too many times, I fear we say trite clichéd things without really understanding what the person may be feeling and going through at that moment. Our intentions may be good, but the effect may not be so good.

Perhaps if we really thought a bit more and perhaps offered some meaningful support, rather than just words, we’d be really serving our friends and loved ones better plus doing good.

There are many content providers battling for victory in the mobile and traditional content delivery arena. Your options as a buyer are varied and seemingly more flexible today than in the past when cable companies had a strangle hold. In the past, unless you picked up a satellite dish there was possibly only a single choice in your town. Not any longer, the plans and packages available from content carriers are as plentiful as the screens we watch our favorite shows. Each has a slightly different approach and capabilities nested within their parental control settings.

On DirecTV, subscribers are able to dial in the parameters of their parental controls by remote right on the screen they are watching through the receiver that is present. The company has partnered with Common Sense Media to offer ratings for nearly every program. You can view this information on their website to find out the details of your favorite shows and the ones your kids are watching too. Learn about recommendations and content with violence, language, commercialism or sexual themes as well as determine the hours that your kids can watch. Additionally there are sites such as Saveontvdirect.com that offer sign up packages that help keep the cost down.

Apple TV is basically on or off. You will need to enter your Apple ID passcode often once it is on and this may conflict with settings down the pipeline. Each individual service on the other side of that code might be at a different setting complicating matters quite a bit. Seems tedious but then again you do not have to turn it on and could just rely on the individual service settings.

Recently Hulu launched an update to their features with an extension that includes a Kids Lock button. By clicking this option parents can restrict access on the Hulu network and app to only those programs deemed acceptable for children. This is a really simple addition that creates a clean and definitive line between content. In opposition to this simplicity are Netflix parental control functions. Though they have included a Just for Kids tab on the network it can be unclear to users how and where these settings are taking affect. It seems that controlling the flow of content on a Netflix account can become an arduous process that may require centralized access from a traditional style PC.

How you have your account set up and what kind of devices you are streaming videos onto from their database is a factor. According to this review by Mellisa Tolentino web based services such as those provided by Amazon Instant Video and Google TV can vary widely. She considered Amazon to be a great supporter of parental controls while Google was noted as “the worst service for parental control”. So consider that when making your choices.

One of the most important jobs we have as parents is to push our kids and help them begin to see just how much they‘re capable of. Sometimes, our children aren‘t always aware of how great they can be without a little encouragement. There’s not a whole lot more rewarding as a parent than helping your child unlock that “Aha!“ spark of self-confidence where they begin to fully realize that they can and should dream and pursue big, audacious goals – and that they‘re capable of them. Nowadays, kids really do seem to be bombarded by parents telling them, “You can do it!” Or, “You can do anything you set your mind to!” But I often wonder how often we as parents practice what we preach?

The majority of adults will tell their kids, “Of course you should pursue your dreams!” But, unfortunately, not nearly as many adults live out that philosophy. But our kids are watching us, aren’t they? So what does it suggest to a kid when their mom or dad says, “you can do whatever you set your mind to,”  in one breath, but “I can’t get back in shape because I just don’t have the time,” in the next.

Getting in shape is just one of many examples. It’s really a lot bigger than that. It could be healthier eating. Or that trip you always wanted to take, or the rose garden you’ve always wanted to plant. That book you’ve always wanted to write, or that graduate degree you never had time to go back and finish. Or that marathon you’ve always wanted to run. I do wonder what our kids think when we encourage them to live their dreams but don’t do so in our own lives? Selling ourselves short is a poor example for our kids, and it undermines what we say. After all, actions speak an awful lot louder than words.

Perhaps one of the most powerful things a child can see in life is an adult who pursued their dream and achieved it. Whether it’s in business, art, literature, athletics, music… you name it. No matter how big or small the goal is, there’s an awful lot of inspiration for a kid who witnesses the sheer persistence it takes to achieve a goal. And kids today need to see a lot more of that, not less of it. Kids already hear too many adults say things like “if only I had.” Kids need to hear more  adults say, “I’m so glad I did!” And that starts at home. With us.

The other important aspect of kids witnessing hard work and success at home is being able to see firsthand how hard it really can be to pursue a goal. Dreams don’t chase themselves, it’s takes an awful lot of hard work and dedication. Our kids need to see that dreams don’t come true all by themselves. There are failures along the way. There are struggles and hardships. Our children need to see from their parents how to keep fighting for a goal when the going gets tough. It’s one thing to tell them; it’s quite another to show them.

So whatever that goal is for you that you may have let slip away – and we all have one – go for it.  Stop selling yourself short and feeding your regret. Slowly, surely, persistently, start living a life that backs up the words of encouragement you offer your own kids. Practice what you preach.

I love writing this blog series. Why? Because I get to poke holes in the conventional, contemporary politically correct stereotypes. And, I sincerely believe that the differences between men and women are genuine and trying to conflate them to fit some academic model of humanity simply denies our humanity. And, for those that know me, I like to provoke…discussion. I’m still waiting for some ardent feminists or Women’s Studies students or professors to weigh in with their comments. So, shall we take on Sexism? Yeah, let’s go for it and I’m going to reveal an embarrassing story along the way!

The irony of this blog series is how often I’m actually blasting men for being men, while sort of celebrating women for their good traits and minimizing the degree of their worse ones. Perhaps I’m displaying my own form of sexism? But, I suppose it’s all in the eye of the reader, since we all tend to bring our own prejudices, beliefs, and politics to most discussions like these where the issues are so nuanced.

I want to share a sort of an embarrassing story from my former career in showbiz, in the years before Anita Hill brought sexual harassment way out of its closet and perhaps ushered in an over-reaction that I sincerely believe has changed the work-place for the worse in so many ways. HR departments now have gone overboard with their seminars, occasional disciplinary actions, while most workers – men and women – can really handle the minor infractions themselves.

And, to be totally clear on where I stand on sexual harassment, it’s my belief that it should really only be a major issue when a subordinate is asked to perform any sort of extra-curricular activity out of fear of losing his or her job or on the promise of advancement. That is what sexual harassment always was but it’s now expanded to include the unacceptability of a man having a tool calendar in his private workspace if it offends a woman who might happen to see it.

But, what I’m revealing that I did is not by my definition the least bit of sexual harassment, but it was disrespectful and I’ve always carried some small amount of guilt over it. Thankfully, I had the chance to apologize to the woman involved much later and, as it happened, she barely remembered it or was even the least bit offended.

This particular woman was my associate’s secretary. Her cubicle was next to my own secretary’s workspace. My associate’s secretary was a bawdy woman with a bawdy figure, much like that aggressive secretary in “Mad Men.” She enjoyed dressing to show off her curves, without a doubt.

One particular day, I saw her sitting at her desk and the way in which she was seating and the outfit she was wearing made it look as if the upper half of her body were resting on the desk in front of her. It made quite a sight and, before I could even help myself, I made some comment about how interesting “those” looked sitting there on the desk. The moment the words came out of my mouth, I realized how inappropriate they were.

She looked up at me. There was a moment of silence. And, then she promptly broke out laughing. I skunked away, red-faced. And, as I said prior to laying out this story, many months or years later, I saw her and told her how mortified I was at the words that came forth from me at that moment. And, again she just laughed, clearly not bothered.

Had that been post-Anita Hill and had she not been who she was, I literally might have been fired that day for that comment. So, what is the lesson? Obviously, don’t stay stupid stuff like that. But, ironically, it also is a reminder of how much we bring our own sensitivities to the male-female intercourse.

If men and women are indoctrinated to believe that any such behavior constitutes sexual harassment, perhaps instead of having some fun banter, he or she is ON the lookout for the slightest infraction.

Later on in my showbiz career – post-Anita Hill – I actually stopped hiring female secretaries out of fear that I might let out another short burst of inane words and embarrass myself at the least or get brought up on charges at the worst.

Rather than provide my usual list, alternating between men and women, this column will just convey some of my general beliefs that are essentially an expansion of the story above.

While there’s no doubt my words were inappropriate, I fear that sexism and perception have become one and the same today. Too many men and women are simply too darn sensitive about any comment. When there’s no coercion or promises on the table, wouldn’t we be better off simply teaching our young boys and girls how to stand up for themselves rather than running off to HR with a complaint about a comment such as, “You sure look beautiful in that dress.”

Don’t we all grow and learn by the banter between he and she? Isn’t that banter often fun? And, if it isn’t, aren’t we mature enough to say something to stop it ourselves?

The reality of this idea is that much of such banter is simply fun. After we’ve graduated from college, assuming we are still single, the opportunities to meet potential life partners diminishes considerably given that the majority of our time is usually spend at work. What is wrong with flirting with a colleague, as long as it’s done with respect and as long as it’s not unwanted? How many marriages – despite HR – still come from workplace interactions?

Sexism is kind of like racism in that it is declared a reality far more often than it is reality. It’s a sensitivity bred in many of us because of what they’ve been taught, perhaps some bad experiences, and possibly our upbringing.

I’ll close this blog with another short story from my workdays, pre-Anita Hill. I had met a secretary at another company altogether and we began dating. She was a sweetheart and we had a lot of fun but soon realized we’d rather be friends – mutually. Later, when she lost her job, I needed a secretary and hired this ex-girlfriend. It worked out beautifully. Think there’s any chance that could happen today?

Photo credit: Denise Chan / flickr.com

If you’re a new parent, like I once was, you’re likely to be asked to pronounce words that were never intended for everyday conversation. No, I’m not talking about variations on “poop”; I mean dinosaur names.

Every academic specialization has its quirky jargon: words only the specialists are supposed to know. Dinosaur names are no different. They clearly originated as a kind of naturalist argot of a bygone era. On my low days, I sometimes wondered if those naturalists were just trying to show off their superior classical language skills.

Imagine! You find a dinosaur that looks a bit like a crocodile. What do you call it? Suchomimus. Sure, because everybody calls a crocodile a “suchus.” I admit, I can say that one (now), but can you? (Sook-oh-MY-mus) Or say you find a dino skull with a huge hollow tube on top. What name comes to mind? Parasaurolophus, what else? Never mind that the average word in English these days is two syllables. This one has six, and no one seems to agree on where to put the emPHAsis. (Para-soar-OHL-ih-fuss, or Para-soar-uh-LOW-fiss) Good luck.

To make matters worse, not every kid’s book gives pronunciation guidance on the names. Some, no doubt, assume everybody has it down by now. Well, we don’t. But publishers can’t always be bothered.

So here’s the problem, in a nutshell. There’s a good chance you’ll be asked to pronounce one of these behemoths without any help. What could be worse? Your child stares at you, wide-eyed, innocent and trusting. Your spouse listens in from the other room. What will you do? Fudge it? You could try; but if your child is like mine was, the moment they see “Dinosaur Train,” your credibility is shot.

Here are my survival tips.

1. Study some Greek. Since most of these words are based on Greek words, you’ll be saved some embarrassment. For instance, “deinos” means “terrible,” and “nychus” means “claw.” In Greek, the “ch” is pronounced like a hard “k.” This salvages the second half of “deinonychus” for you, and gives you a clue as to the word’s meaning.

2. Forget your Greek. Once you’ve brushed up on your Greek, selectively forget your knowledge of Greek pronunciation, especially of vowels. In Greek, “ei” is pronounced like the “ei” in eight. Also, in Greek, the emphasis would fall on the second to last syllable. But after years of saying “Dei-no-NIGH-kuss” we got a book that insisted on Die-NON-ih-kuss.

3. Ignore common sense. Which brings us to tip #3: For best results, place the emphasis in the most unnatural place imaginable. No right-thinking person would see deinonychus and assume the emphasis should fall on that measly, despicable “o” in the middle. But that’s apparently where it falls. So forget your instincts. These are dinosaur names. They’re supposed to be terrible.

Now that you have these tips, see how you make out with the following gems of pseudo-Greek contrivance:

Diplodocus      (dih-PLOD-ih-kuss) NOT dih-plo-DO-kuss

Chasmosaurus (kaz-muh-SAUR-us) NOT chaz-mo (think “chaos”)

Giganotosaurus (Jig-uh-note-uh-SAUR-us) NOT Jie-gan-tuh-SAUR-us, because that would have been too easy.

Pachycephalosaurus (pack-ee-sef-uh-lo-SAUR-us, because the “ch” imitates the Greek “k,” while the “c” in the middle imitates what English, not Greek, would do)

Ankylosaurus (an-KIE-luh-SAUR-us) NOT AN-kee-luh-SAUR-us. The Greek “y” is often pronounced as the “y” in “by.” Except when it isn’t, as in, I think, the following one:

Hypsilophodon           (Hip-sill-OFF-uh-don)

I guessed on that last one: it came from a “Visual Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs” we bought my son, and the editors chose to give no pronunciation guidance. On the same page one finds the word “Ornithischian.” (Deep breaths. You can do this.)

4. Know your dates. There is one more rule. Try to develop a sense of how recently a particular dinosaur was discovered. You’ll need this, because more recent species are named after their discoverers or, in some instance, the places where they were discovered. They have to be pronounced as though they were surnames or place-names with “saurus” or some such thing attached to them. Oh, and don’t forget that lots of dinosaurs are being found in China now.

So here are a few examples of that sort:

Lambeosaurus (Lam-uh-SAUR-us, named after somebody named Lambe, so it’s NOT lam-be-uh-SAUR-us)

Efraasia (I have no idea. It’s named after E. Fraas. Likely that would be ee-FRAHZ-ya)

Beipiaosaurus (from the Chinese city “Beipiao,” hence I’m guessing: bay-pyow-SAUR-us)

Xuanhanosaurus (your guess is good as mine; let’s say shooan-AHN-uh-SAUR-us)

Now you’re as ready as you will be. You’re sure to fail, but keep trying. And if your child gets to a point where she can rattle off those names better than you (as mine did), take your lumps humbly. It’s training for all the technology they’re going to understand before you do.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work ~ Thomas A. Edison

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time ~ Thomas A. Edison

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up ~ Thomas A. Edison

In essence, I’m equating success with taking risks. And, I’ll back it up with several examples in my own life. I would define my life as a combination of passion, perseverance, and risk-taking. Within that definition, there were plenty of misses and failures. If I allowed those failures to either define or discourage me, I’d not be writing this column right now.

Let’s be clear on what I am calling a risk. I do not mean jumping out of a plane with a parachute, skiing over a cliff that appears not to have a landing clearly in sight, or bungee jumping a deep cavern or high bridge. Those certainly have their place, and in fact, I’ve taken my share of that kind of physical risk though I think with care, thought, and preparation. The risks I’m referencing are those that involve putting yourself out there, taking a chance on rejection whether personal or professional, and maybe venturing outside your comfort zone.

My favorite family example is what my older son, Arnie, did when he was sixteen. It has become – in so many ways – the defining moment of his life, so far.

My son found his passion in music. I did everything in my power to steer him toward sports but upon giving him an electric guitar when he graduated elementary school, it was clear where his future was heading. He took to it like the proverbial bee to honey. I recognized that passion as the same I had for tennis, which was my first big life passion. And, wisely, I let go of my hopes for a future NBA or baseball hall-of-famer.

Naturally, his music tastes ventured all over the music landscape. But, a singular hero for him was Chris Cornell, who was part of two major rock ‘n’ roll groups, AudioSlave and Soundgarden. He is a premier rock guitarist and vocalist. . My son literally knew how to play every song of his. I supported my son’s love of music by first taking him to concerts of the greats of rock such as Eric Clapton and Bruce Springsteen. As his own tastes developed, he would “take” me to his favorites such as Green Day and The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Over time, we attended dozens of concerts including twice going to the Outside Lands music festival in San Francisco. I came along both times and I was the old man on the festival grounds. He also got to see his idol, Chris Cornell, a couple of times at smaller music events.

When he learned that Chris Cornell was going to give an acoustic performance for a charity, he begged to attend. It was expensive, but I knew it would mean the world to him. So, I sprung for two tickets. He was now just sixteen, with a girlfriend, and this was clearly a time that dad was not needed or wanted as a chaperone. I was simply the driver.

That day, at school, he exclaimed to all his friends that he was going to jam with Chris Cornell at this show, where it was a small venue and he expressed this with unwavering conviction. His friends indulged his claim with good humor and considerable skepticism, as did I.

Given that it was an acoustic concert at The Roxy, where attendance was limited to 300 or so standing-room only fans, Arnie was able to get a prime position near the stage. Cornell was performing with an acoustic guitar and a cello as his only back up.

Much as Eric Claption did in his first unplugged concert, Cornell did his heavy rock music in a passionate but slower style. Also, given the nature of this concert, there were short, quiet breaks between songs. During one of those breaks, as recounted to me, the following dialogue took place between Arnie, Cornell, and the audience:

Arnie: Hey Chris, can I ask you a question?

Note: At the time, Arnie had very long red-hair and stood 6’2”.

Cornell (looking a bit confused): Yeah kid, what is it?

Arnie: It’s been my lifetime dream to jam with you!

Cornell (more confused): Oh, what instrument do you play?

Arnie: I’ve played guitar since 6th grade!

Audience (getting into it): Let him. Let him!

Arnie’s Girlfriend: He can do it!

Cornell: What song would you like to play?

Arnie: Fell on Black Days

Cornell: Heck, that’s our next song.

Audience (louder now): Let him. LET HIM!

Cornell (looking around, a bit bewildered): Okay, what the heck.

Audience (shouting): YEAH!

Arnie heads to the stage where Cornell helps him up. He whispers in Arnie’s ear, “What’s your name kid,” to which Arnie answers. Cornell takes off his guitar from around his neck and hands it to Arnie. Cornell pulls a chair up and motions to Arnie to sit in it while asking someone backstage to bring him another guitar. An electric guitar is brought out. Cornell checks the tuning, looks at Arnie and they exchange that Are-You-Ready look between musicians and then Cornell launches into the nearly seven-minutes song.

Arnie matches Cornell note-for-note, including the somewhat complicated solo, which you can see in the YouTube video that we fortunately got from another spectator. The audience is whooping it up and some are shouting to Arnie’s girlfriend, “This was a set-up, wasn’t it?” because they played so well together.

When the song ends, Cornell gives Arnie a bemused expressed and says in the mike something to the effect, “Not bad. Not bad at all.”

Throughout the song, the expression on Arnie’s face was one of unmitigated joy – an expression I hadn’t really seen since he’d become a teen.

The YouTube (http://ow.ly/jKPGw) of that performance, in my opinion, was one of the factors that contributed to Arnie’s acceptance at The Berklee College of Music in Boston, given he had poor grades and didn’t even take the SAT. By then, Arnie’s primary instrument was drums so he had auditioned at Berklee on drums.

How many young kids would take that risk? And, really, what did he have to lose?

I had a 25-year career in showbiz that was defined by taking such risks. I brought a baby black-spotted leopard to a series pitch about a wild animal vet. I brought two WWF famous-at-the-time wrestlers to another series pitch that involved the participation of wrestlers. They came in full regalia. In recent times, I walked up to Guy Kawasaki at a conference and asked him to be a guest on #DadChat after he’d just given a keynote speech. He said, “Yes” (Note: He’s coming back to #DadChat on April 25).

Had I held back out of fear or embarrassment, where would my life be? Had Arnie not gone for it at that concert, where would his life be now as he’s finishing his freshman year at Berklee?

Taking risks can be a good thing. Teach your kids to go for it. Teach them the when and when-it’s-not boundaries and perhaps model some risk-taking yourself since our kids learn so much from what we parents do. Mostly, don’t be afraid. Don’t let them be afraid.

Whether you’re training for your first 5k Walk, your 10th Ironman Triathlon, or trying to lose 20 lbs before the class reunion, if you make the commitment to a fitness goal and than take the simple step of showing up consistently than you cannot do anything but succeed. It will be impossible to fail. You simply cannot exercise consistently and not see results; it’s impossible. I can look back at my own efforts over the years and draw a full correlation between showing up and success… and not showing up and failure. 100% correlation. Most of us, if we give an honest answer, know exactly what it is we need to do to achieve our fitness goals. It’s actually doing it that’s the tricky part.

Did you make a commitment to run 2 miles at 6am each morning? Don’t hit snooze. Don’t make excuses. I know the kids were up in the middle of the night and you’re exhausted, but drag yourself out of bed like you said you would and show up. Did you dedicate two evenings each week to do your favorite Fitness DVD once the kids finally go to bed? I know that glass of wine is calling your name along with the latest season of your favorite show that just hit Netflix, but suck it up and follow-through. Show up.

The same goes for your healthy eating goals, because “showing up” not only consists of our physical presence, but our mental attitude as well. You likely know exactly what it is that you need to do to eat healthier. But if you don’t show up mentally when it comes time to make those nutrition choices? Nothing will change.

It’s really quite profound, if you think about it, that the simple act of “showing up” can positively impact every area of our lives. Want quality time with the kids? Turn off the iPhone and give them your attention. Show up. Family dinner time? Turn off the TV and gather at the table together. Show up. Career achievement? Stop mindlessly checking emails and focus on actually getting that proposal finished. Show up.

Showing up is a habit. We are, after all, creatures of habit. Sure, bad habits die hard, but good habits can take root just as easily if we consistently put in the work. The best way to put in the work? Show up. If you show up you’ll start achieving. And achievement is addictive. Small achievements over time can do nothing but become successes. I do realize that each day throws us of curve balls, but that’s a given. That shouldn’t come as a surprise; it’s called life. So, yes, you may need to bail on your plans from time-to-time, but if you consistently show up over the long haul than it will become habit and you can’t possibly fail. It was Aristotle, who was a pretty smart guy from what I‘ve heard, who said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

So now, when that stupid, horrible, annoying alarm goes off early tomorrow morning, you know what that is? That’s the sound of guaranteed success. Go get it.

It may be surprising to learn that over 70% of weight loss has to do with nutrition, not exercise. Don’t get me wrong, our bodies need exercise, but it doesn’t contribute to weight loss (or maintenance) as much as people think it does. Which is funny, because if you observe the habits of most folks trying to “get healthy” they put in an awful lot of sweat equity, but often don’t pay too much attention to the fuel they’re putting in their bodies. We’ve got it backwards.

One of the questions I get asked most often is, “how can I eat healthier?” Well, it’s not by going on a diet; that’s just a band-aid. If you’re really committed to living healthier than you have to eat healthier. And that means breaking old habits, which is rarely fun. But it can be done. I’m living proof. I used to be the biggest (no pun intended) beer and burgers sort of guy. So it really is a head-scratcher that I’m now vegetarian; goes to show you that anything is possible.

I do realize that what’s worked for me won’t work for everyone, but there are some universal “lessons learned” I can offer you out of my own experience. 3 simple changes that anyone can adopt. Notice I said simple, not easy. You‘ll slip up many times trying to make these stick, but that’s perfectly all right. It‘s an awfully rare thing in life for success not to be proceeded by failure. Just keep at it until you make them habit.

EAT (A LOT) LESS PROCESSED FOOD: When my wife and I decided to change our eating habits a few years back, one of the first major steps we took was to cut out fast food and soda. In the two week period following that change I dropped over 10 pounds. It was quite remarkable, and led me to wonder, “what the heck was in that stuff?!?” Turns out it was a lot of highly processed, chemically-laden, junk. In fact, there is a rapidly growing body of medical research showing that processed food is more chemically addictive for human beings than hard drugs such as heroine and cocaine. Ever wonder why you crave certain fatty, sugary, or salty foods? Because you’re brain and body are literally chemically addicted to them. And because of this dynamic, processed foods are an awfully hard habit to break, but one of the most critical wellness steps you will ever take. How do you tell if a food is highly processed? Simply read the ingredients; if it looks like a chemistry lesson? Take a pass.

EAT (A LOT) MORE PLANTS: The Greek physician Hippocrates was onto something when he said, “Let food by thy medicine…” There really is incredible medical value to eating a lot more fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and beans. Want proof? Well, for one, the healthiest populations in the world are plant-based. And than there’s the whole thing about improved cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol, reduced risk of heart disease and stroke, and lowered incidence of cancers. Quite simply, your body’s best bang-for-the-buck when it comes to nutrients, is found in plants. This doesn’t mean you have to stop eating meat all together. But try having the meat as the side and grill up some marinated veggies as the main course. Or adopt “Meatless Mondays”  in your house (just google it for some great ideas).

EAT IN MODERATION: For many of us, this one’s a no-brainer. We know that we eat too much, but what’s better than seconds of your favorite meal? Thirds. Fourths. It’s not a pretty picture. So why do we keep eating more than we should when we know better? It’s a bad habit. Stop it. We eat far more calories than we need to, and it‘s often just a little here and a little there. It’s the donut  at the office, of the extra bowl of ice cream, or the extra 500 calorie latte, or the drinks after work. But it adds up, doesn’t it? Here’s the good news: we lose weight the same way we put it on in the first place. By skipping the donut. By sticking with one bowl of ice cream instead of two. By having a generous first helping and skipping the seconds, thirds, and fourths. You get the picture.