Yes, Bill Clinton DID have sex with that woman in the oval office - lots of people would have. But instead we like to chuckle at THEIR predictament - of being caught. Oh it’s all so juicy when other people are caught being sexual - isn’t it?  It’s so naughty! And then we get to feel outrage! Sometimes I wonder if the outrage is just a little bit about how come these guys are getting to have all of this fun?  Or perhaps it is the relief that many people feel because it wasn’t them that got caught this time!

You see - you are not suppose to get caught being sexual out of the confines of what society thinks is morally sexual. Yes, we do have this special brand of sexuality that we consider “Morally Sexual” - and that  is where it all gets so confusing and conflated.

 Sexuality and the social confines that try to surround it is a fluid thing. We all have so many different attitudes about ssexuality and what sexual expression has to say about morality and who we are as human being. According to sex educator Pamela Madsen,  “Sexuality is an integral part of who we are as human beings - but our ssexuality and how we express it does not define us - it is simply a part of who we are - it problematic to view our sexuality as the measure of our morality.” Yet that is what we have done through the ages.

Perhaps it is because in the long history of being human and being sexual - sexuality was used in exactly this way - as a way to define us as moral beings and to control social order.

Human sexuality was often controlled as a way of knowing “whose the daddy” through the ages - spiritual purity by religious groups - and to support what is known as “family values” by modern day pundits.  Some of this law and order of our human sexuality has been quite successful by management standards - but has this truly served us individual beings? The stories have also been handed down the ages of retribution and punishment for those that got caught living outside of the box.  Yet sexuality has been hard to keep in a iron maiden….hasn’t it?

And here we land again in 2009, with this Senator or that one becoming overnight a “Bad Man” because he couldn’t contain his sexuality.  Did he become a bad leader because he took part in sexual expression outside of this marriage? Probably not - but he did need to keep his hand out of the public till to finance it.

Did Bill Clinton lose all value to us as Americans because he had oral sex in the oral office? Of course not - or at least for me - of course not!

Yet - we do try to make these sexual expressions of people’s humanity into some kind of a label which is used to diminish all of the other parts of what they bring to the party - don’t we? We use this information to somehow diminish their morality.  Do we tell people that they are immoral for being hungry and eating?

As a society we continue to use sexuality as a moral compass - and  work very hard to catch people being “naughty” so we can use that information against them. It is an interesting game that we play - and as we have seen again and again - it is often the people that throw the biggest stones that are later found on page six of The New York Post - right?

Somehow we have not gotten very far from the days of the public humiliation stocks - now we use newspapers as the pillars and the Internet for the dunking well. 

What has been proven is that when people try to box up their sexuality - they tend to leak! Just look at the dismal failure of absintance only programs - just to cite on example.

But there seems to be a light - and the light is coming from National Heath Service in the United Kingdom.  The NHS is telling school pupils they have a ‘right’ to an enjoyable sex life and that it is good for their health.  The NHS is talking about sexual pleasure being a good thing, and something that everyone has a right to bring into their lives. And they are saying this to young people! How amazing is that?

The campaign is called  ‘an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away’, the leaflet says: ‘Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?’

These amazing leaflets have been circulated to parents, teachers and youth workers.  Apparently this program was launched after it was discovered that a teenage girls who participated in a  £6million Government initiative to reduce teenage pregnancies were more than twice as likely to fall pregnant as other girls.

Instead - this new program is promoting self pleasuring (masturbation), handing out condoms, and teaching kids about the joys of sex.

Don’t think that this program has not come under fire - of course it has. But it’s creator Steve Slack who is the director of the Centre For HIV and Sexual Health at NHS Sheffield, talked back to critics by saying that the advice could encourage young people to delay losing their virginity until they were sure that they would enjoy the experience. According to Slack - “as long as teenagers are fully informed about sex and making decisions free of peer pressure as a part of a caring relationship, they have as much right to an adult to a good sex life.

Critics have called for scientific evidence to back up the program - and have made the morality stab with public statements such as “There are an awful lot of overpaid and under-occupied health promotion officers around who are obsessed with sex.”

Well - we are all very interested in sex.  My blogs that have sexuality as a focus have the highest readership only second to Mini IVF! What does that tell you?

Perhaps we should all dust ourselves off and get out of whatever closet we have been hiding in. It is high time that we learn how to make friends with our sexuality and see it as a beautiful part of our lives. I so proud of our cousins across the pond - as they try to introduce this very concept to their children.  Who knows  - these kids may grow up to lead integrated sexual lives in a land where sexual public scandal becomes a thing of the past - because sexuality will be seen as less of a scandal.

Almost ten years ago I worked to pass the NY State Mandate coverage for infertility treatment in NY State. It took almost eight years of lobbying to get the mandate through. I learned a lot about the political process in NY - not much of it good. I had Senators tell me one thing and then pretend that they never gave a promise the next. In NY State - things were particularly difficult as most decisions were not made through public agreement and testimony. At least back then - most decisions were made in private by three men and then brought to the floor to vote on - the public vote simply a formality.

It was incredibly hard getting the NY State Mandate passed because the Catholic Church has incredible leverage in the NY State Government - and the Church didn’t want in vitro fertilization mandated by the State. On the other side of the religious fence - the Orthodox Jewish Community did! I am not sure where the other religious groups in NY fell on IVF mandate lines - but this patient advocate was doing an incredible dance between the leadership that ruled back then, and this included Govenor Pataki, Joe Bruno, Sheldon Silver, the Catholic Church and the Orthodox Jewish Community. And all I really wanted was to try to cut a deal that gave NY State residents access to fertility care. What we came up with something that only NY politics could create - a limited fertility mandate that covers everything except IVF and The NY State IVF Grant Program which funds IVF for NY State Residents which quality for the program. This is how the Grant Program works:

Grant programs are specifically for patients who are using in vitro fertilization (IVF). They must be medically eligible to apply, that is, the physician has recommended IVF as their optimal way to get pregnant.

The state grant requires that some patients try intrauterine insemination (IUI) before moving to IVF; some patients, though, will be waived through if the physician determines IVF is optimal and preferred.

Patients must be between 21 - 44 years of age

Have proof of New York state residency

Carry private health insurance as primary insurance (not Medicaid, Medicare, or Family Health Plus)

Insurance cannot provide coverage for IVF, but it can cover medications, blood work, or sonograms

Combined gross household income, determined by most recent tax returns, of under $195k annually

Patients accepted into the NY grant program will pay what’s called a ‘cost-share’ (their out-of-pocket expense) which is determined by the state.

Inspired by The NY State IVF Grant Program - and realizing that different circumstances arise for every patient, East Coast Fertility who is able to offer the NY State Grant Program also developed their own grant program which allows them to be even more flexible in creating a treatment financial plan for each patient. Even patients who are not New York state residents have been able to make use of ECF’s grant to accomplish their fertility treatment.

So - if you have never explored the NY State Grant Program or if you live out of state and want to learn about East Coast Fertility’s own grant program - you can call 516-939 BABY (2229) to learn more, or request a free consultation.

What good does these programs do if patients don’t know about them!

As I got closer to menstruation, I began to slowly morph into a Prayer Mantis. Lovely image, huh? But I do like to paint a picture with words! Those chomping jaws eating her beloved’s head after love making…..

Now for me - it really didn’t matter whose head it was - and I didn’t need sex to get me there! Every-one’s head was up for grabs the week before I got my period. And just keep your fingers away from my mouth - because if it was chocolate, fried, white, sweet or salty and full of carbs - it was mine.

Oh come on now - don’t roll your eyes. I know that you have been there too - right? Some people call this PMS…..but the joke is that they would have called it Mad Cow Disease but that was taken.

Things MIGHT get better when I actually got my period. We will call this the “During” part of the month! I always felt much better - but there was the whole inconvenient bleeding thing….

And then - it was the good week when my period was finished. Ah….we were in the “After”!  I loved this part of the month! I was thin and happy. My breasts didn’t hurt anymore….and I was positively frisky.

A male friend of mine was chatting with me about my perimenopausal state.

“You must be so glad that this part of your life is over!” he remarked.

Huh? No…not really I thought to myself. I enjoyed having my life run on a calendar - cycling with the moon. It was familiar - it was what I knew. Somehow, through all the complaining about the bloating, the grumpiness and weight shifts - there was also a comfort knowing that somehow I was connected to the natural rhythms of Mother Nature. And I found no comfort in this time of not know if I was in my “Before” or “After” part of the month in this strange unknown land of perimenopause and missed periods.

Was I done - 0r was I about to begin again? Who knew? Was I going to get my period or was I just cranky and hungry? Nope - I didn’t like this place of limbo.

My period showed up a few weeks ago after going into hiding for about six months. I had marked my calendar for January 10th, which would have been my official day of menopause if my period didn’t show up between now and then.

But it did - throwing off my menopause schedule. And I was happy to be cranky and bloated. It was swell having sore breasts again. Yep, I even had the biggest  stomach ache of my life.

You know when the pumps close down and then start working again - things can get a little creaky (You don’t mind me sharing - do you? After all - it is just US here. RIght?).

I gave into my cravings for  French fries, Oreo Cookies, and junkie kid candy.

After all, I was having perhaps my last dance with “Before”, “During” and “After” and I was going to enjoy it!

1. Use your frozen embryos for your own family building.

2. Donate your frozen embryos to stem cell research or other types of fertility research.

3. Give your frozen embryos to another couple for family building.

4. Destroy the embryos.

We don’t have many laws regarding Assisted Reproductive Technology in the America. This is probably because we don’t have a national mandate to cover infertility treatment and the government does not subsidize or pay for medical care in this country. But this is not the case in other countries - and in countries such as the U.K. there is plenty of rules and regulations regarding ART because the government provides treatment to it’s citizens. Access to care also comes with a price and limitations, and one of those limitations is an outdated law that frozen human embryos must be used within five years. If you don’t use them you lose them. So….across the pond there is a fifth option for your frozen embryos - the government can take them from you and destroy them even if you are not ready to give them up because their time is up according to government policy! And while they are changing this policy - they are not grandfathering in these older embryos!

What is even more interesting, is that this five year storage limit is only imposed on women who need the help of a surrogate. If the woman is to carry the baby herself an extension can be arranged.

One  mother who is facing the destruction of her 11 frozen embryos is leading a campaign on behalf of dozens of women to change rules that would prevent them having more children. Apparently, October 1st new laws are coming into effect in the U.K. and all embryos who have been stored for more than five years will be destroyed or shipped off to countries that will take them such as the United States or India. 

Michelle Hickman, 36, from Stock-port, Cheshire, had to have a hysterectomy for medical reasons after the birth of her eldest son, Robert, in 2000. Although she could no longer carry children, the couple could produce embryos through IVF and, with the help of a surrogate mother, had their second son, Jaimes, two years ago.

“This is a very frightening time,” said Hickman. “Our embryos have been on death row for three years. We would like a large family – probably about four children. We could not afford a surrogate in America.”

According to the new laws, women with frozen embryos for use in surrogacy to extend the storage up to 55 years, giving them equal rights to women who will carry their own babies – but if their embryos have already been stored for more than five years by the October 1 deadline, they will be destroyed, rather than having their storage time extended.

Hickman and her A Little Wish group campaigned for the extension in storage time, and she is now looking for the help of an MP to fight for further changes in parliament.

Hickman added: “Everybody else will benefit by being able to store their embryos for 55 years, however, in our case, because the storage is out of date at the moment, we will not benefit from the change in the law we have campaigned to introduce.”

This storage issue is also affecting cancer survivors who froze their embryos before treatment and were advised to wait five year or longer to use their embryos. If the group does not manage to change the rules by October 1 the embryos of the cancer survivor and others in her position will be destroyed.

This is not the first time laws or legal ruling that have been put in place with the intention to protect infertile people and their off spring have had the opposite effect and hurt them instead. For many of these women, the embryos in question are the last chance that they will have to give birth to a genetically related child. It seems so arbitrary to destroy something precious which cannot be reproduced because of a legal ruling that makes no sense. Yet this will probably happen.

In the United States potential parents have lost the right to use frozen embryos because of divorce. In these cases - the right not to reproduce has trumped the right to reproduce and embryos that have been the last chance for a women to have a genetically linked child have also been destroyed.

How long is too long to have embryos on ice? Well - to me fifty five years which will be the new standard in the UK feels way too long - and five years way too short.

For me the length of time embryos should be left in storage should some how mirror the usual reproductive life span of women. If you have not used your embryos in 20 years, I think that it is really time to take a look at why not - and come to some decision about them.  Of course that is also an arbitrary number!

20 years is my number.  But I bet it isn’t yours!

Feng Shui is not a religion or the occult. Feng Shui is all about the energy between people and their environment. The belief is that we are surrounding by energy at all time from our environment. Feng Shui uses calculations of energy between people and their environment to create balance and health. So why not use this knowledge for some ancient conception tips?

First there is something called Descendant’s luck. Now Descendant’s Luck takes into account the role that the man plays in conception. Men want a lot of Descendant Luck! To get more he is suppose to sleep facing North West “which opens his receptiveness to positive energy that can create luck and enhance fertility. If sleeping facing Northwest does not work try placing a fan in that corner and have it on throughout the day; this will blow positive chi into the room and the man will be able to absorb this while he sleeps. Caution: do not have sleep facing North West if that is facing the door”.

Okay - I don’t know what will happen to him if he sleeps facing North West and that direction puts him sleeping facing a door! The article doesn’t tell us! Maybe it will make his sperm leave the house - with him? It can’t be good! So make sure that you do not do this if North West if facing a door!

If putting your man to bed facing the right direction, and using the fan doesn’t help matters - it is time to get to know something called the Kua number.

Feng Shui is also full of symbols help to enhance fertility such as small dragons which will “increase virility and fertility in males when placed on their bedside table. The word small is important here as you don’t want the yang –fire to overpower the other energy. The double fish statue is a positive sign of marriage. Placing this in the southwest corner in your bedroom promotes chances of pregnancy. Elephant statues in the northwest corner are said to bring male children. Décor that is considered cures for fertility are items like; elephants with their noses down, displaying fruit like pomegranate, and pictures of babies. Make sure that you display these items in pairs never odds”.

I love the attention paid to the male in Feng Shui, and that they are looking for the male energy to be powerful but not overwhelming.

Next we are suppose to look at the entrance to our homes - starting of course with the front door! We are suppose to make sure that the entrance to our home is clear (get the symbolism?) “as this is the primary entrance point for positive energy. Remove anything that blocks the front door inside or out. Be aware of poison arrows – angles that point at your front door. Do your best to remove these obstacles”. Nope we don’t want anything blocking the entrance!

It’s time to organize for fertility and get rid of clutter! We want everything open for conception! I have to tell you I would rather do this than get a hystosalpinogram!

“If the house is open it promotes positive energy to flow throughout. Remove or tie back curtains from your windows when they are open to allow the air to flow. Let the sun shine in. Open the doors and allow as much of your in house lighting to be sun shine during the day to help enhance positive chi”.

Other Feng Shui advice for fertility included:

1. Add houseplants to your rooms: Earth creates a positive balance in your home. Keep them maintained and well tended to.

2. Wear rose quartz or place rose quartz in the bed room to help increase fertility chi.

3. Grow fruit tree in your yard. An ancient symbol of fertility is fruit trees. (now I live in Riverdale in the Bronx - and I couldn’t do this in my apartment - but maybe you could get one of the small orange plants?) Now - according to this article - you really have to take care of your plants and nurture them! Just buying them isn’t going to do it. The more the plants grow and bare fruit the more likely you are to conceive. Now I have to be honest here - I am so glad that I didn’t do this. Everything green that I buy kind of dies. And I think that the added pressure of developing a green thumb would have put me over the edge! But if this feels good to you - have at it! Planting and gardening besides be a Feng Shui conception tool is also good for lowering stress! Another good conception tool! But know who you are…..if you are like me and trying to keep a Bonsai Tree alive is a stressful as trying to serve your mother in law dinner - I would suggest skipping the plant!

4. At your front door place brass wind chimes; this helps with increasing your chi as well.

Will Feng Shui make you pregnant? I really don’t know . But over 2000 years of Chinese culture can’t be all wrong! And we all need balance in our lives. So why not take a look at making the energy in our environment more open and positive? If that can help us bring forth some conception energy into our homes and beds - why not?

If I had to stand on my head after sex to conceive a child - there would never have been a Tyler or a Spencer! I simply don’t bend that way! And if I ever threw a bag of frozen peas on Kai’s testicles as some kind of kinky fertility friendly foreplay - I would have had to take that game a bit further - and bondage would have been necessary!

Sometimes, I wonder why some of this stuff doesn’t go away.  You know - the way a bad rumor after awhile just fades into the distance and no one repeats it anymore because they know that they will look foolish. 

The problem is that attitudes towards people with conception difficulties really hasn’t changed much through the years. There is still a bit of blame the victim mentality out there when it comes to how the world see fertility problems - and telling someone that all they have to do is relax and not see a doctor is misleading and hurtful.  The fact is that too many people wait way too long to see a doctor - the average couples thinks that they should wait for 48 months before consulting a fertility specialist.  The real advice is 12 months for a woman who is under the age of 35 - and six months for a woman over the age of 35.

A part of the problem is that many of these old wives tales had some bit of logic in them, and are based in some kind of truth! Heat IS bad for sperm production - so hot tubs and tight shorts are no no’s!  Boxer shorts are in for men who are trying to make a baby! But how did that turn into frozen veggies on a man’s testicles?  It probably turned up on some fertility message board some where and flew around like some kind of bad virus along with eating crushed rubies (please don’t!)!

 What about the just relax line? Well - we know that when woman are able to reduce stress in their lives - that some women with ovulation disorders are more likely to have a better quality ovulation which is more likely to result in a conception!

And should you leap out of bed the minute you are done making love and do jumping jacks? I wouldn’t recommend that anymore than doing head stands! The premise about the head stand advice is to give the sperm some help in getting to the eggs. Perhaps laying in bed for a little while and cuddling with your beloved is not a bad idea! You both get a little loving - and it might allow the sperm a chance to begin their journey to the promised land!

People on the baby making road do need to pay attention to where they get their fertility advice! I have recently written about the world of fertility message boards to the delight and dismay of many. And there are good ones out there! Just know where your little mouse is taking you when you search the internet for advice! Is the site or person offering you fertility advice a health care professional? Many fertility sites such as Fertility Ties, EmpowHer, Fertility Authority and my very own East Coast Fertility offer reputable doctors who will answer your questions in real time -  and articles that offer patients information, support and advice. Know where you are going before you go! And once you are there - if the advice that you are being given is different than the advice that you doctor has given you - perhaps it is time for second opinion! Second opinions can be good things! Don’t be frightened of them! And some centers offer free consultations that can be very useful in getting that second opinion.

Don’t just go off and do your own thing! Take a breath and check it out! And if you are on a website that has fact sheets on them - make sure that they are up to date! The science of fertility treatment changes much faster than fact sheets can be written sometimes - so check that copyright date!

The 41-year-old Kidman, said six other women who worked on the film with her also fell pregnant. It could have been the water - or perhaps it was being out there in the wilderness while on the set shooting “Australia” when there was not a lot to do in the evening - but get in touch with their inner wild thing! And come on - we have all been reading the studies! Wild thing sex in the Outback has to be good for conception! Add a little “Fertility Water” and they could have created an entire new village!

“I never thought that I would get pregnant and give birth to a child but it happened on this movie,” Kidman told The Australian Women’s Weekly in an exclusive interview for the magazine’s 75th anniversary edition.

“Nothing happened in a small way on this film … We had heat and torrential rains and equine flu and then I got pregnant. “Seven babies were conceived out of this film and only one was a boy. There is something up there in the Kununurra water because we all went swimming in the waterfalls, so we can call it the fertility waters now.”

Hope is a beautiful thing - and now apparently many infertile women are flocking to the waters to dip with Kidman took her fertility bath.  Do I have any words of wisdom for them? Not really. It is good to hope - to believe in miracles and in things that we cannot see.  It is hope that drives to fertility clinics,  it is an act of faith that supports us to adopt a child we have never met in a far off country, it is the belief in what we can see but can only feel in our hearts that allows us to be brave in the face of an uncertain future.

So, if a fertility bath can help a woman touch hope in her heart - and gather up her courage for another round of chasing after her big dream - perhaps a little miracle will follow.

The other kind of fertility quiz is one that I just made up! Let’s call it “Do You Really Need That Infertility Procedure?”

Sorry, but I don’t have a nifty link for my made up quiz! You will just have to read it here.

So let me fill you in on a bit of inside “fertility industry” dirt. While, the treatment of infertility is medicine - medicine is also big business. Now - the fertility industry (hate calling it an industry) is not different than the “Cancer Industry” or “Addiction Industry”. People are working in fields because they dig it - and because they are creating a livelihood. The problem comes in when people include a lot of different procedures that up the ante on the patients bill at the end of the day.

Question One: “Do I need iCSi when we don’t have male factor?”

Answer: Probably not.

Many centers are now doing iCSi rountinely on all patients - some are actually including it in the fee - but most charge for it. They are doing this because they don’t want to get to the lab and then not be able to fertilize the eggs. And yes - sometimes it happens! So to make sure that you don’t have a fertilization disaster - they ask you to do iCSi. Yes - in most cases your bill will increase.

Question Two: “Do I need antibody testing?”

Answer: Probably not.

There are doctors and IVF Centers who deeply believe in some core reasons for infertility that other doctors don’t buy into - such as autoimmune reasons for infertility - so they perform antibody testing. If they decide that you have an autoimmune issue the resulting treatment can be very expensive. Do you need antibody testing? Most of the world says no, that there isn’t any proof (no studies), but if you are at a center that believes in this - you could be in for sticker shock.

Question Three: “Will PGD Really Increase My Chances at Conception?”

Answer: Probably not.

Pre Implantation Genetic Diagnosis(PGD) is a wonderful technique that was developed to sort out embryos that had genetic diseases - but what is going on with IVF Centers that are offering PGD as a way to increase success rates? Now this is much more controversial and has been recently debated several times in public forums such as ASRM who put out recent guidelines about the marketing of PGD as a use for increasing success live birth success rates. This controversy has surfaced again, and has been recently profiled in The Wall Street Journal. This piece of reporting once again points to the belief held by many that using PGD to increase success rates won’t do anything but raise your bill.

Well, thanks for taking my Fertility Quiz on “Do You Need That Procedure?”

And now for the medical disclaimer!

Please talk to your doctor about any testing, or procedures that you are thinking of adding on to your treatment. They are the best ones to discuss with you why they believe that you may need certain testing or procedures. I am not a doctor . What has been offered here is a little information to help you start a conversation with your own health care provider - and perhaps save you a little money along the way.

So, there I was - hanging out in the exhibit area sipping coffee and trying not to eat the cookies, when the “Big Wigs” of ASRM walk in.  I am talking inner circle here….they were very surprised to see me at an ARHP Conference!

“Pamela! What are you doing here?” Dr. Number One Big Wig asked?

“OH! Dr. Big Wig! It is so good to see you too! What do you mean what am I doing here? Where else would I be?”

“Well, Pamela - this conference does not just cover infertility! It covers so many things - like sexuality!”

“Exactly! That is why I am here! I am interested in all aspects of reproductive health including sexuality.”

Now this statement was met with a group of men staring at me with blinking eyes. Did you ever hear the expression “a deer in headlights”?  Well - that about covers the expressions on the faces of the “circle of power” that was staring at me in a moment of stunned silence.

“Pamela….what does sex have to do with fertility?” stammered Dr. Big Wig.

Now it was my turn to look back at my little concerned group of politically connected and powerful doctors…..what was I suppose to say? I mean everyone knew that babies came from little petri dishes created by doctors in white coats or the stork! Right?

I think I laughed to break the sheer awkwardness of the moment.

“Come on Dr. Big Wig!” I kidded. “I don’t really have to explain the birds and the bees to you! Do I?”  I think that I offered up a sexy little wink!

With that we all laughed that really uncomfortable  laugh that people laugh before they flee as quickly as possible from each other.

What does sex have to do with fertility? Well….read the headlines Dr. Big Wig! Sex and fertility have been in the news a lot lately. Funny how some people are connecting the two! I was so ahead of my time!

All this week the media has not be able to get enough of the news that daily sex improves sperm quality.  Now admittedly, this was a small study of strong and sturdy Australian men who ejaculated for seven days in a row  (I like to think of them all looking like Hugh Jackman! Come on….it helps - right? ).

What happened was that their DNA quality went up! Now this goes against everything we have been telling couples trying to conceive for years. The old advice was abstinence and withholding ejaculation for several days before attempting conception. The thought was that this would increase volume and therefore help conception. So….Dr. David Greening the author of the study doesn’t really know why the sperm are healthier the more men have sex - but his numbers didn’t lie.  Maybe it has something to do with oxygen exposure - or maybe sex has everything to do with fertility when all of our operating systems are working properly!

And what about that recent study about “Gourmet Sex” and increasing chances of conception? That study was just a few months ago too! According to that study - the wilder the sex the better the chance of conception.

So Dr Big Wig……what does sex have to do with fertility? Apparently everything. I will give you the book that I gave my sons to read about the birds and the bees…..maybe it will clear things up for you!

But all kidding aside - what are we doing as fertility experts to make sexuality an issue that couples are more comfortable with? But of course, we would have to be comfortable with this ourselves first - and that is not always so easy. This subject makes so many of us squirm - laugh and flee!

We have opened our hearts to acupuncture, stress reduction, nutrition and yoga. Perhaps it is time to take the next step and embrace sexuality as a conception aid.  There are studies now to support this conversation. Sex is medically indicated!

What about giving out copies of “Urban Tantra“?  What about helping our patient community feel more connected with their sexuality while we are quite frankly taking the sex out of conception? Why not improve our patient’s chances for conception by offering some kind of sexuality and intimacy workshop at our centers?  And perhaps even help a marriage that is under stress by offering guidance and support with intimacy during a very difficult time.

Who is going to be the ground breaker here?

Come on….you will capture the media! I promise! You might even get on Oprah.

So, in this sea of press releases, today, Dr. David Kreiner (the doctor that I work with) a nationally renowned Long Island reproductive specialist, has decided to take on the long-standing moral and medical dilemma of multiples with a unique approach to IVF designed to make single embryo transfer (SET) the standard of care available to everyone. 

Kreiner’s East Coast Fertility center offers a critical twist on routine IVF services. With the new Single Embryo Incentive Program, East Coast Fertility will freeze all viable unused embryos retrieved from a single IVF cycle and transfer them at the patient’s discretion–one embryo at a time—at no extra cost.

“We’ve reduced the sticker shock of IVF so dramatically by absorbing the fees associated with cryopreservation and subsequent transfers, that we’re providing a financial incentive for patients to do the right thing—for themselves, their marriages, their financial futures and, most important, any babies they may have,” Kreiner said. “Our goal is to help people already under the stress of infertility, choose the possibility of one healthy child with each pregnancy.”

Recent headline-grabbing cases, such as the public dissolution of Jon and Kate Gosselin’s marriage, underscore the spectrum of perils associated with high order multiples. They range from infant mortality and disability to parental depression, divorce and economic disaster. The Single Embryo Incentive Program is the first financial package from a fertility center in this country that defrays the economic risk of using one embryo at a time.

I have to admit that I am incredibly proud to work with a guy who has come up with a program that takes on this issue in such a personal way. The high order multiple birth problem has been the fertility field’s dirty laundry and so many people pay lip service to this issue without really doing much about it.  Oh - there are guidelines - and high order multiple births are down - but there are still far too many high order multiple births in this country.  We as a field have gotten better about talking about the collateral damage of multiples but few have come up with a solution.  Most American couples are uninsured for fertility treatment. They can barely scrape together payment for a single round of IVF and so they feel compelled to put in as many embryos as they can, hoping one will take. Unfortunately, their best intentions boomerang and the result is a medical tragedy that, often, is worse than the underlying infertility. In many European countries where fertility treatment is covered, single embryo transfer is the law.

Kreiner, a pioneer in the field who trained under legendary IVF innovators Drs. Howard and Georgianna Jones, vowed to bring an end to the heartache and ruin that comes with high order multiples.

“I take this personally, “ said Kreiner. “Over the years, I’ve become close with so many of my patients and have lived through their high-risk pregnancies, the surgeries on tiny infants and the collapse of many marriages under the strain.  We doctors must do more than advise people that single embryo transfer is the prudent choice. We must make it possible for patients to make this choice and avoid the lifetime complications of high order multiples. That means shouldering some of the economic burden, especially for the uninsured and cash-strapped.

“East Coast Fertility certainly makes less on the Single Embryo Incentive Program. But I feel it is our moral obligation to insure that money doesn’t stop people from making the right decision.”

So I think that this is a pretty good new story - but I don’t know if a doctor stepping up and saying that he was a part of creating the multiple birth mess - and now he is going to be a part of the solution by developing an innovative program to reduce high order multiple births can compete with laptops, bicycles and daily sex.  We will see.