“What will they think? Shit, what if they laugh? I still look like a kid! (Ok, maybe that one is just me) Damn what if they ask me what do I need it for?”

I was sweating buckets – the first time I bought condoms. Later it became the most popular “dare” I’d give to my friends in senior school. It used to scare them to death.

To help & promote safe sex, they installed many dispensing machines in restrooms of many poplar places, but thanks to some over-excited people – most of them are dysfunctional.

So do it like a man – go buy it from the store. Here are some tips from the thing they call experience, ahem:

The Golden Tip: The most common question is “What do I say?”

Make it easy on yourself – it’s easier to ask for a brand than a commodity. So instead of asking “Do you have condoms?” (Duh! they do!) Ask “Have you got Durex Super Thin?” or whatever your favorite is.

Don’t know what brands exists? Google! Durex & Moods are some good brands in India. Durex and Trojan (yikes) are some good brands in States.

• Unlike cigarettes and alcohol, there is no minimum age limit to buy condoms. So it’s not illegal. Go ask for it as you’d ask for a bandage.
• You don’t need a doctor’s prescription either. Also you can buy them from chemist, supermarket etc.
• Some people just can’t keep their emotions in. If you’re afraid you might laugh, cry or shy away – just remember Frodo, Gollum & his cunning tricks to get the ring. Now go get the right… err condom.
• How much money shall I carry? Google, again. I remember one of my friends carrying a 500 bucks notes ($10) “Finally I can buy them!” *Faceplam* they don’t cost that much. Use Google. A 3 piece pack of Durex costs Rs. 50 in India.
• They won’t ask you anything. They’ve sold more condoms than you’ll use in your entire life. So worry not, go ask and come back. It’s business as usual. Nothing to be shy about. That chemist has a million other things to worry about, your sex life isn’t one of them.
• Last and the least, if you are still shying away do the thing men are notorious for. Be proud of it – first you are getting laid! W0ot! Second you’re being responsible and playing safe!

PS: I personally avoid getting in stores when some elderly people or ladies are on counter. Something cultural Can be awkward, but suit yourself.

PPS: If you’re my parents / relatives reading this. Well read other stuff I write & forget you read this one. Thanks!

She doesn’t need to shed her clothes to get her fans cheering. She sets fire to the rain, sings about turning tables and rolling in the deep. She is someone who changed the music industry and changed people’s taste from pop and rock to blues.

She is – Adele Laurie Blue Akins, famously known as Adele.

As a young girl, she met Spice Girls at dinner parties. Later, as a teenager she had her most defining moments when she watched Pink perform at Brixto Academy. Her voice hitting Adele as if she was sitting in a wind tunnel. This was inspiration behind Adele’s obsession with voices.

After graduating from BRIT School of Performing Arts & Technology, back in 2006, she recorded 2 songs. Her friend would have never dreamt of making her a star when he uploaded them on MySpace. Everything was normal, till she got a call from XL Recordings – it was an offer for a recording contract! That resulted in her debut album “19″ which came out in 2008 and earned her an appearance in Saturday Night Live – a show in US.

Adele performed “Chasing Pavements” and “Cold Shoulder“ the following day, “19” topped the iTunes charts and ranked at number five at Amazon.com while “Chasing Pavements” rose to the top 25. Her stars were shinning brighter day by day. She was all set for an international tour.

Unfortunately she had to cancel two tours due to her throat hemorrhage. She required a few weeks of rest to have her voice back.

Adele released her top selling album “21” on 24th January 2011 in the UK and 22 Feb in the US. It surpassed success of her debut and was a hit. With 21, she became the first artist to sell more than 3 million copies of an album in a year in the UK.

Adele made her massive comeback after a series of rumors of taking a long term break, during The Grammy Awards 2012.

She won in all six categories for which she was nominated, making her the second female artist after Beyoncé Knowles in Grammy Awards’ history to win six categories in a single night. Following her Grammy success, 21 achieved the biggest weekly sales increases following a Grammy win since Nielsen Sound Scan began tracking data in 1991.

With 21 non-consecutive weeks at number 1 in the US, Adele broke the record for the longest number 1 album by a woman in Billboard history, beating the record formerly held by Whitney Houston’s soundtrack The Bodyguard. The album spent its 23rd week at number one in March 2012, making it the longest-running album at number one since 1985 and 21 became the fourth best-selling album of the past 10 years in the United States.

Adele, through her songs, touches the deepest corners of every one’s heart. Her voice as described by the critics and other fellow artists is “magical”. Personally speaking, her singing takes me to a different world, I am positive that most of her fans agree with me.

When I listen to “Someone like you”, my own story runs through my head – that’s what makes her so addictive. It seems like she is singing our own story and at the same time comforting us that she too has been there .She too has experienced joy , sadness , betrayal et all.

Songs like “someone like you”, “set fire to the fair” express the bereavement, heart-break and betrayal that one feels after a melt-down. And yet the beauty of these songs are symbolic of the love that lingers on. The more you listen to her the more you fall in love with her.

No words can describe her voice , and yet it is her voice that touches our very soul .

She evokes very strong responses from people. Her video for “Someone Like you“, is very subtle, a little boring actually, in my opinion ( “Set fire to the rain” on the other hand got a grammy for best video ). But the power of her music led to such vivid, yet possible interpretations. A beautiful video was made using her music that spoke of the story of two gay men. Moreover the video has all the nuances of modern day love stories and lives.

Though there are people who often make fun of her lyrics and her figure. Karl Lagerfeld, 78 years old Chanel designer, said that Adele was ‘a little too fat‘. But she had just the answer – “I represent the majority of women and I’m very proud of that.”

A comic on Adele's lyrics "I set fire to the rain".

But whatever they say, with no skin show or crazy dance videos, Adele broke so many records in music industry (no pun intended). And she is making history.

She has proven it – no matter what they say about you – just keep going.

Buy 19 on Flipkart or Amazon.
Buy 21 on Flipkart or Amazon.

Watch her top hits & a funny interview below:

A Funny Interview with Adele with Ushi:

Adele’s Top Hits:

Someone Like You

Rolling in the Deep

Turning Tables

Set Fire to the Rain

Do you like Adele? What are your favorite songs? What about her is most interesting?

Thanks to Manav & Karan for editing this one. Photo by CHRISTOPHER MACSURAK

The whole street replete with glitter and sparkle was staring at my hollow heart. And I was standing on the crowded road, helpless and abandoned. I was losing and there was no way I could find of stopping this.

He left me, he went away from me, and we drifted apart. And as he left, a part of me left with him too. I couldn’t despite trying so hard retrieve it in any way.

I wondered, when all my life was an imagination of him and me, how can I lead a crippled existence now? It seemed so impossible, yet so inevitable.

When I fell for him, the world seemed so good! Full of fascinations and pleasures so unlimited! Happiness, better people, and excitement existed everywhere, nevertheless, waves of despondency continued to surround me. Emptiness prevailed. I was changing every second. Changing into a strange, unfamiliar, and shallow person.

Each moment of frustration and desperation snatched away my core identity from me. This was like a hurricane rushing past me, plundering everything that came in its way, demolishing everything that belonged to me.

As I moved away from the din of the street, and all the attractive things it had to offer, these thoughts still overpowered my psyche, and I wasn’t feeling any better off.

He was attracted by my cuteness, by my looks, or maybe by who I was. But all of it didn’t help me in getting him back. Because I’d given myself completely to him, and I wasn’t there with myself.

I was defeated by circumstances, by people, by situations and by my own self. It was not his indifference that was shattering me. It was my own inability to find me that tore me apart with misery. I was in strife with my non-physical self. It was a conflict.

I was so dependent on him my happiness. My world revolved around him. And I made each compromise, each effort that made him happy and made him love me more.

And despite turning out to be the girl he always wanted me to be, I was abandoned and I could do nothing about it. I did every single thing to be with him! Why did it not pay off in the end?

I reflected on my thoughts:

I gave myself completely to him! That was wrong!

Love is not about giving, it’s about experiencing. You can never be selfless in life. If you are, you’re bound to lead a life full of sorrow and compromise.

Love happens when two independent people come together to experience joy and be there during the bad times, but being self reliant so as to be responsible for their own state of being.

I changed myself into a girl that he always wanted: a person, who wants you to change, is the biggest dickhead in the world! And he didn’t love me.

I am what I am, and if I continue to be that way, without a single compromise or adjustment in life, I’m gonna find an idiot who loves me for who I really am.

But first I had to find myself. It’s all about the power within.

We all have it, we underestimate it, and we incline ourselves into thinking it would never get better, actually, whether it would get better or not, totally depends on us. If we want it, it surely will!

Unfortunately, I and many others like me don’t know our worth. And we think we’re nonexistent without the presence of some bastards in our life who’re weak enough to leave us at the drop of a hat!

We have millions of people yet to be met in this planet and each time a person leaves us, it does hurt, yet, after that, a better person comes into our life. We all have experienced this.

Majority of us are either unhappy or strangers to our identities. Henceforth, we look forward to other people’s approval for our own selves so that a portion of our identity crisis is resolved, or probably we can at least be lazy enough to not think about our identities and spend some moments of ephemeral gratification with our special someone.

It’s a very pseudo concept that each of us needs a reason, a person, or an extrinsic factor to be happy and content. The greatest happiness whereas, lies in our deeper self, in the vortex of our inner being. And that happiness is so profound, so intoxicating and so pure and true that every other thing seems futile after experiencing that level of upliftment!

Every crazy thing seems sane, and the nastiest of people seem to be so cute! The world is bliss, even if Mom’s shouting on top of her voice.

That’s the kind of happiness which is meant to be sought, and meant to be felt. And we realize that we no longer need reasons to be happy.

We need to find ourselves. Because it’s not that we fall in love with a person – it’s the idea, the sensation, the feeling of being in love we’re in love with. And unless we find ourselves and be who we really are, the joy and mirth of love will lie undiscovered.

Can you relate to this? Or are you still not sure if you’ve found yourself. Would love to hear your experience.

Photo by Jing Qu

Name: Aniket Pant
Web Builder
Home Town: Dehra Dun, India
Website: http://aniketpant.com
Email: me@aniketpant.com
Age: 19 (2012)
Education: B. Tech. @ BITS, Goa
Find him on: Facebook, Twitter, GitHub & Google+

I met Aniket at WordCamp Jabalpur. A young guy, chick magnet, hands on coder and full of passion for the internet.

The state of Computer Science is funny in India, most who get a CS degree can’t code. So when you see someone who just doesn’t code but is passionate about building, you know that mind is a goldmine.

King: Let’s dig your past first. Where did it all start? Your love for coding? Who was your godfather, if you had one?

Building the web

Pant: It’s difficult to talk about things when what started. I am a second generation coder and this makes my father, my godfather. My coding story is all messed up.

I was just 12, my dad gave me this book on C++ by Robert Lafore. I started but slowly my interest dipped. It got boring, the next year was more or less the same.

But soon my interest was back again. By the time I was 16, I was using C++ like I speak English. I create anything with it and the world became so logical. I used to think about how to write a piece of code to solve a problem.

The turning point of my weird coding story comes when I had to make the choice of selecting Engineering in Computer Science and Mechanical Engineering. My dad insisted on Computers but I, like an idiot, avoided it. The decision was mine to make and I found codes boring. I even planned to do R&D work in Mechanical.

At the age of 17, after wasting a full semester having done nothing and completely away from coding, something happened. Something small that created a big change.

During a 10 day vacation, my dad made me work on Joomla! and I liked it. This was my first formal interaction with the web but it worked wonderfully. Soon, I was using the CMS to make a small website and learning about modules and plugins.

Back in campus, a senior wanted people to work on a PSD-to-HTML conversion. I took it and learned the basic HTML and CSS required in hours and did the work! Got quite a sense of achievement after it was approved.

I had found my direction. I spent whole semester working and learning HTML, CSS and PHP. In the next 4 months, I could create absolutely everything I could think of.

That sounds like quite a start. There is a common misconception, thanks to movies, that suddenly people wake up one day and they are changed and set for something big. What do you think about that?

Misconceptions hold quite a part of our lives. You can’t get enlightened in one day. It isn’t like a dream that changes your life. There are a good amount of experiences that are involved.

To learn & find out what you like & what you can do – try learning something from everything you do. Even if you just watch a movie, you can find something inspiring in it.

Music is my inspiration. People might find it crazy but I have spent the last 5 years reading and learning a lot from lyrics.

Since we know how you got started, what guidance would you give to a noob? Is web-building a thing for everyone or you have to be ‘born with it’?

First, I have stopped using the terms web developer / designer. I call it web building as it holds more water. We are all building the web.

It is easy for anyone to learn web building. But I personally feel that one needs aptitude for the web. You not only need to know what to use and how but there is so much more. Intuition and lots of research is involved. Intuition continues to develop as we keep on experimenting but research is not easy. One needs to put themselves in user’s shoes to build something that people want.

The only way to know if you have the aptitude for the web is by actually giving it a shot. No one can know whether they can cook well without actually giving it a shot.

Let’s say someone who wants to build websites, where should they get started?

It’s very easy to make websites. Within a week, anyone can begin to make average websites. All you need to know is HTML and CSS. That’s for static websites.

Occasionally, for dynamic websites, you might have to work with what is called a server-side scripting language like PHP.

Also, I would advice not to follow video tutorials. Video tutorials are like spoon-feeding. Instead, take out time to read articles, blogs and observe the web.

Are there any resources / books or classes where someone can get started to learn the basics of web-building (HTML / CSS)?

If you are thinking of W3 Schools, read this first. I never referred any book for learning HTML and CSS. I spend a lot of time reading through CSS Tricks and Stack Overflow.

If you know basic HTML and CSS, I will suggest you try WordPress.

Harry Roberts has written a great resource on HTML and CSS. It’s called Web Design+.

Later you can learn JavaScript.

If you do have any kind of doubts, head to Stack Overflow.

Taking the education thing forward, how is web-building as a career option? What is the ‘scope’ or ‘package’? And a much deeper question – what contribution does ‘building the web’ make in the world?

Web-building is my passion. I have never thought of it as a career option; it is a way of life.

Yes, one can make a career out of it like many others. But it is an utter waste of time if you don’t have the passion and the zeal to work.

The scope is immense and you can expect a package of almost any amount you can think of but all of that comes down to one thing – dedication.

For me, it is about an open society. Something I term as One Web, where the whole web community is united. There are no differences between which tools we will be using and everyone will be openly contributing to the world.

Our internet lives are getting intertwined with our real lives.

The people who we occasionally mention on twitter are the ones we are meeting at conferences. The ideas we discuss are coming to the world. Who thought that one could send a postcard to someone living in another part of the world by just an email. Web builders have made it possible.

We don’t just create web applications but we are the architects of the modern world.

Knowing Indian families to be risk-averse, how well does your family support you? Has there been some conflicts of views?

Most parents worry about their children going into fields other than engineering and medical. This mentality needs to change, otherwise, we won’t ever be able to contribute to the rest of the web at the same rate as the others are doing.

My family has always been supportive. I give my father the credit for my present skills. I still remember telling my father that I didn’t like mechanical engineering and he said, “I am sure you will definitely go into the IT sector.”

Often, when parents don’t understand what they are doing online, they scuff it off as ‘wasting time’ or worse ‘watching porn’.

What do you suggest to your fellow web-builders when it comes to handling their parent’s, often irrational, approach to building career on the web? Most of them would rather have their kids get a stable and ‘real’ job than risk their lives being next Zuckerberg or Jobs.

Now, we are getting to real things. Yes, parents often feel that their kids are just wasting time.

But the amount on information available on the web is amazing. Keep wondering about anything and just search it once. Even if you don’t find the exact thing, you will find someone else who was also looking for the same thing.

If you show them what all you can do with the web, they might get impressed. Show them some awesome CSS demos, some great web projects like 3 Dreams of Black. I am sure something like this is going to make your parents fall for the web.

Show them that the web community is indeed very strong and supportive. Stack Overflow and Forrst are great examples to support this. Tell them about WordCamp, Drupal Camps, PHP Camps and conferences.

My role model is neither Zuckerberg nor Jobs. They are awesome guys like Harry Roberts, Trent Walton and Rob Hawkes.

You should be able to convince your parents if you are passionate enough. If you love the web enough, then petty things like stable and real jobs don’t mean a thing.

As a web-builder, could you share some projects you are working on or have worked on in the past?

Love the fact that you are referring to me as web-builder!

I am currently working with a start-up and our app will be coming out soon. Can’t disclose more about it right now.

In the last 3 months I have worked on E-Dorado ,the website for TEDxBITSGoa 2012 and Igniteplate.

E-Dorado is an online treasure hunt which reached a record of more than 1100 registrations on it. You can still go register and play. E-Dorado is a part of my college’s national annual technical festival Quark.

I used Codeigniter as my PHP framework and Bootstrap, for Twitter to speed up my work. It took me 4 hours to have the basic interface ready.

The TEDxBITSGoa 2012 website is built on WordPress. It was a relatively small project but interesting enough as it was the first time that I worked with custom pages and archives.

And lastly Igniteplate is a something of my own creation. I always felt the need of a starter kit for my projects on Codeigniter. So, I decided to build one. It includes a registration, login and user management system. I will add Facebook and Twitter sign-ups in future.

Given a choice between a hot girlfriend and a real hard web-building problem, what would you chose?

I shall take the problem. [Doesn't give any reason]

Any final advice you’d like to give to our readers?

Read through a lot of blogs and follow what you love.

Also, he's been playing drums since 2 years

Off to you…

Got a question, comment or a threat of Aniket Pant (or us)? The comments section below is all yours. Let’s hear from you.

Thanks to Manav & Prajjwal for proof-reading the drafts.

You can skip to sections on How to Hide Relationship Status on Facebook or How to Hide Friend Lists on Facebook
Also Facebook has a nice new tool for you.

As the internet spreads and mobile devices become more and more connected, everyone is joining the social networking bandwagon. It’s not new to hear everyone’s mom, dad and distant relatives joining Facebook.

Some people try to avoid adding them, some just go ahead and delete their account – and most create a duplicate profile. One for close friends and another for family and all. After all your mom won’t be happy to see you cracking an adult just as your facebook status or worse, see your relationshp status. But managaing two profiles is tedious. Also it’s against Facebook’s terms & conditions. You can have your both profiles banned for this reason!

You don’t need two profiles, you can manage your close friends, family and everyone else with one, Let’s teach you how:

If you don’t want to use lists, you can skip to last bonus tip →

The Lists to Tame Them All

We are going to use facebook’s list. Which are like Google+’s circles but better. On your facebook home page, you can see them on left-sidebar. Take your cursor over there and click “More”.

Take your mouse there and click "More"

You will see the deafault lists:

• Close Friends (duh!)
• Subscriptions (People whom you subscribe on facebook)
• Acquaintances (People you know but are not friends / not very close)
• Family (duh duh!)
• Restricted (For those whom you have to add in profile but don’t want them to see anything).

Depending on your profile data you might see lists named after your schools / colleges and work places. People who have same information on their profile are aleady added to these lists. Eg. If you and your classmates have added the school information correctly, they are already in the list named after your school! Told you they were better than Google+ Circles.

Default lists are same, rest will differ for everyone

Step 1: Add people to the List

Let’s start by adding Close Friends, they are closests to you, right?

Click the “Close Friends” list. On your right sidebar add them by typing their name, as you add on people. Facebook will suggest you more people to add.

Add People to the Lists by Typing their name.

Next add, people to your Family, Acquintance and Restricted List. I don’t know about you but my family list overlapped with Restricted :P

Tip: Important is to add people to Restricted and Close friends.

Tip: If you have 1000s of people in your profile, just add Close friends and we will hide things else from everyone else.

Step 2: Hide the stuff

On top-right corner next to your Name and “Home” there is a down arrow. Click it and choose “Privacy Settings”

Go to Privacy Settings, Top Right corner of your screen

Scroll down and click “Custom”. Now you can hide things from people or just show it to specific people. Personally, I have it set to Show to Friends except Acquaintances and Hide from Restricted, Family.

Set who sees the posts and what is hidden from whom.

Step 3 Set How you Connect

Click on “Edit Settings” in front of “How You Connect“. Now you can control more settings here. I am just going to cover main things:

Choose who can do what, and who can see what.

Who can post on your timeline? Earlier to used to be Who can write on your wall. If you don’t want anyone to write anything there, chose “Only me”

Who can see posts by others on your timeline? Let’s say I write on your wall/timeline. By default others can see that post. Change it to “Only me” if you do not want it to be seen by others.

It “Done”.

Step 4: Limit Old Posts (Optional)

So your future updates are well hidden, but what about old ones? Manage them with “Limit the Audience for Past Posts”.

Make Posts

There, you’re done! Now if you go and make a new update, you can see the post will be visible to just some people.

Make Updates with the New Settings

In case you want the post to be visible to all people in your friend list click the dropdown and chose Friends. But people in Restricted list will only be able to see post with Privacy set as “Public”.

Hide Photos

While creating an album / uploading photos. You can control who sees them. Alos you can set it to specific people, let’s say you want to share it just between you and someone special ;)

Hide Photos on Facebook

Tip: Next time you add someone on Facebook, add them to apropirate lists too.

How to Hide Profile Information

Now let’s hide information on your profile from others. Things you should consider hiding:

How to Hide Your Relationship Status on Facebook

Click "Update Info" Button on Timeline, Under your cover photo

1. Go to your timeline and click “Update Info” button and then:
2. Scroll down and when you see Family / Relationship status, click “Edit”.
3. With drop-down, choose who sees what.

Hide Family & Relationship Status on Facebook

For me, my relationship status is only visible to Close Friends.

How to Hide Your Contact Information on Facebook

Click "Update Info" Button on Timeline, Under your cover photo

1. Go to your timeline and click “Update Info” button (if you haven’t already).
2. Scroll down when you see “Contact Information”.
3. Click drop-downs and choose who sees what.

How to Hide Contact Information on Facebook

For me, my phone numbers and address are only visible to people in my friend list and rest is visible to everyone.

How to Hide your Friend List on Facebook

Go to your timeline.

Under your Cover Photo click “Friends” box.

On your timeline, Under your Cover Photo is the Friends Box

Click the Edit button on top bar.

From drop-down choose who sees your friend list.

On top bar, Click Edit Button and then with drop-down chose who sees your friend list

For me, it’s set to Only Me. So no one (except me) can see my friend list.

Hide without Lists

If you do not want to make lists and just want to hide things from 2-3 people:

1. On drop-downs mentioned in above steps, choose “Custom”.
2. And in Hide (this) from section, type name of the person you wish to hide from.

When list seems too much of a task

In the sea of music bands from all sorts of backgrounds and genres, it’s hard to find what you like. Sometimes it’s something you stumbled upon, something you read in the newspaper or a small interview you read on a website. In a similar way I discovered ‘minipop’, a band from California when I bought my Nokia 5800. It had 10 bundled songs and one of them was “Like I Do” by minipop. I immediately fell in love with the song. So, I went to their Facebook page and listened to their other songs which were as subtle and as melodious as “Like I Do”.

Fortunately, I work for the FRiEnDz so I recently got to interview my favorite band (and I tell you, it’s a dream come true!).

Minipop is an indie electronic and dream pop band from Oakland, California which was formed in 2004. The band’s lineup includes: Tricia Kanne’s vocals, Matthew Swanson as the guitarist and keyboardist, Lauren Grubb on the drums and Nick Forte as the bassist. They debuted with the album “A New Hope” in 2007. Read more about them, and their views in the interview that follows!

How did you guys come up with the name ‘minipop’? Is there a story behind it?

Matthew - Minipop came to fruition like most bands, as an idea in a bedroom.  the first recordings of songs for the new project were very short and super poppy.  I had a cheap casio keyboard and I was recording these little songs that sounded like nintendo music.  I started calling them mini-pop songs.  When the project started coming together the name just kind of stuck around even though the music changed with each member’s new influence.

Tricia - Once Matt and I reconnected after a number of years, he started sending me a bunch of 2 minute pop songs written on a casio keyboard for a female-fronted project he had dubbed “minipop”. I loved the cheery, hopeful vibe of the songs and the fact that they really belonged together as a family. I experienced a wave of nostalgia listening to these songs over and over again driving around in my car. Eventually this emotion was translated to words and melody on a handful of these songs, the first of which was a song called Fingerprints.

Do you feel that music has become complicated than it was before?

Matthew - That’s an interesting question, I’ve never thought about that.  I think with the addition of protools to every musicians home, music has become more experimental and different.  I don’t know if complicated is the word but it has definitely been pushed to new frontiers.  I think musicianship has declined from the 70′s and 80’s, but writing and recording are constantly being pushed to new areas.

Tricia - Yes, in a way. With all of the recent technological advances and countless music blogs, ways of listening to and finding out about new music has really exploded. There’s no doubt that the industry is saturated, but what’s neat is that there are so many avenues to find new music based on personal preference- you just have to know where to find them. Social networking and music listening sites like Facebook, DropBox, Pandora, Spotify and cull.tv have introduced fun ways to share music and stay connected – these are exciting times.

Lauren - No, I don’t think music has become more or less complicated than before.

What’s your favorite song to play live?

Matthew – For me personally it would be a song called ‘Placebo War’, which will hopefully be on a new ep.  It’s got a very fun guitar lick to play and has a lot of energy.  It’s not very technical as well which is nice when you’re playing live to not have to worry about fucking up.  We close with it a lot as well so it’s a good fun note to go out on.

Tricia - Ask me a Question.

Lauren - Placebo War.

If you could play a show anywhere, where would it be?

Matthew - I would love to play some shows in Europe, and get to tour over there.

Tricia - Bali, we love to surf.

Lauren - China

Did your families support you guys when you were starting up?

Matthew – Absolutely.  We have had very supportive families who have been with us since the start.  We all feel fortunate to have had a good support system.

Tricia - It took a while for my parents to come around and understand my desire to play music in lieu of attending nursing school. The first mini show my parents attended was at the Noisepop festival opening for Rogue Wave. They have been more supportive since then. I think my dad likes Zach.

Lauren - Definitely, my parents love the band and we practiced in my mom’s basement for a long time

Today, teens love change in their music tastes. For example, now more teens tend to like Coldplay than Metallica. What are your thoughts?

Matthew - I wish I knew what teens wanted to hear.  I think Metallica will be alright.  To be honest I am awful at keeping up with music trends.  I usually get into bands a bit late.  Teens are minute to minute, they probably just want to hear what their friends are hearing.  With iPods and iTunes now there is so much more available that they can have a huge music collection, which wasn’t always possible.

Lauren - I think the internet has done wonders for bands and for listeners.  So many smaller bands, like us, are able to get more exposure because of websites like yours, as well as music blogs, Facebook, iTunes… There’s really endless amounts of music you can find online, so I think this has a lot to do with teens broader music tastes today.

What was the inspiration of your song “Like I Do”?

Tricia - Endless summer and a box of chocolate.

Matthew - That was a song that came together from a few different musical riffs from various members of the band.  Lauren came up with a cool pounding drum beat that helped shape the pre-chorus.

Usually we don’t see your CDs in music stores and that’s why most people are not learning about your beautiful music. Are you guys keen on marketing yourselves?

Matthew - We could probably take a marketing class for sure.  Self promotion is the name of the game in music and we definitely did our best to get our name out there for many years.  Getting CD’s into music stores, or what’s left of music stores is an expensive political ballgame that is tough when you are on a small indie label or self produced.  Our last ep and the next one will be done on our own so it’s doubtful you’ll see it on any shelves.  It seems digital is taking over anyways.

What will be your advice to today’s teens who want to chase their dreams in music (or in general)?

Matthew - If you want it you’ve got to be willing to sacrifice a lot and work harder than the next band.  Tour, record, write, promote.  Never stop being active musically and always be available, opportunities come up only so often and you’ve got to be able to say yes.  I think college is the best time to form a band because of the freedom you have with your time and the built in audience of your classmates.  Also, write good songs and have a good singer and drummer, those are the two backbones of the band.

It was just one of those routine arguments I tend to frequently have with my parents. This time, it was about my clothes. Somehow, my ‘normal’ clothes including shorts, cut offs, strappy tees, spaghettis, and off shoulders seems offensive to my parents. They feel I’m inviting perverts to wrong me and disgrace my name or whatever they were saying which certainly means I’d just be eve teased, raped, or molested. Putting forth my revolutionary views and some high spirited statements inspired from Slutwalks around the nation, I just walked away, being relatively covered today so as to avoid any further confrontation or conflict.

After attending a musical programme as I was regularly walking and talking on my cellphone through one of the busy areas of my city, two unsuspecting guys riding on a bike sped towards me, touched my breasts in broad daylight and rode away, their faces brimming with false pride and perverse satisfaction. Disgusted, and appalled as I was, all I could do was helplessly hurl abuses and curses at those scoundrels. All of this, when I’m dressed in a fully fledged jeans, a sleeved tee with zero show of cleavage and zero levels of transparency and an appropriate length enough to cover my waist, something I would usually wear.

There are thousands of girls everyday who fall prey to such #@**+!!@#%$#%$@^%^$& and never complain or retaliate, thinking that this is how the world works, this is how guys are programmed and this is how they’re destined to live. Maybe some of them would think there’s something wrong with their clothes, behaviour or their body language, or they’re probably wearing too much makeup that attracts such f****** and make them do such monstrosities.

And well, as far as the guys and the perpetrators of these tacky things are concerned, they would be beaming with pride and would go around bragging about how they teased a girl and all she could do was get shocked and freeze. They would call up girls randomly and irritate and harass the hell out of them and be hysterically joyous about how they’ve been teasing a girl on the phone all day long. Worse, they would defame their own friends from the fairer sex of ludicrous things, obviously adding their own set of perverse fantasies to be cool enough and indulge in an indeed vindictive and destructive form of character assassination.

Or maybe, make a girl fall in love with them, get laid with her and use her as much as they can, while making those fake good for nothing promises and that ‘I’m so seriously in love with you’ drama and abandoning the poor girl one day labeling her as ‘characterless’. The poor girl ends up thinking she’s a whore, while pledging to never trust another guy again. Period!

There’s this intensely nauseating feeling of anguish, abhorrence and disgust that I have against the aforementioned. And sadly, there’s little I can do about it. ‘Cause the apathy and stigma dominates the desire to stand up and raise your voice against such injustice. There are so many questions arising out of stereotypes no one wants to answer. For some, it’s a question of their ego, while for some, the urge to comply with the double standard dogmas of society come to charge.

Why is a woman tortured and blamed when she’s raped or subjected to any kind of sexual abuse or molestation? What instigates a man to sexually harass a fully covered woman when everyone says it’s a question of provocative dressing? What right does any f****** person has to judge our characters by the way we dress up? Why does looking beautiful, sexy and attractive amount to a curse for a woman? If it was all about the clothing and skin show, why are women in burqas and amply covered ethnic outfits subjected to maximum cases of sexual abuse? It’s not about our clothing; it’s about the exceedingly perverse, cheap, chauvinistic and degraded mindsets of men today.

What most of us fail to understand is that rape is not merely an act of perversion; it’s actually an act of subjugation. People belonging to higher castes in rural areas would rape women from the lower sections of society if they’re uplifting themselves or raising their voice against any kind of injustice or inequality. Rape is an ugly form of vengeance, suppression and a mere tool to make a woman realize she’s the weaker sex who deserves to by enslaved and victimized for eternity. It’s one sure fire way to make an independent, self reliant, persevering, and innocent woman to lose her self confidence, faith, and happiness for her entire life, and leave her to be persecuted by the stigmas and obsolete doctrines of society.

Rape is not just a sexual crime, it’s a social crime. Simply because after a woman is raped, she supposedly loses her purity even if the sin is committed by a man. Because when a woman is raped, she is blamed for being raped. She is punished for being herself, she’s punished for expressing herself, for being confident enough to make a place for herself in a male dominated world, or in maximum cases, she’s punished for saying no to a savage who wants to have sex with her. And who would complain against any form of sexual abuse when the very judiciary offends a woman in the most loathsome ways possible? When everything she does in her life becomes a reason for her being raped according to the outdated, degraded beliefs of people? When in the eyes of a man, a woman is nothing but a sex object?

My point here is why should we be stereotyped and judged for our lifestyles and our individualities? Which tradition in our culture, which hypothesis in our society says that any particular category of activity or lifestyle gives a man the freedom to sexually abuse a woman? Which law in the constitution states that a woman who wears skimpy outfits, feels free to express herself, consumes alcohol, smokes or goes to late night parties, or work during the wee hours deserves to get raped? Who gets a license to act fresh with a girl who flirts around or has a lot of boyfriends? And why aren’t those men questioned who have multiple sexual partners and who keep fooling around with women and duping them all the time? Shouldn’t they be raped too?

Many of you readers must have been shocked to read the earlier part of my article, which clearly describes how a man touched my breasts. It is explicit. But that’s the way it is. Bitter realities as these shouldn’t be sugar coated in any way. And I’m not ashamed that this happened with me. Because I haven’t done anything wrong. Instead, I have been wronged. And if anyone wants to judge me for my courage and honesty and the fact that I raised up an important issue that probably every young woman in this country is facing, then be it! I’m proud to be judged and thought wrongly about. And the only person who deserves to be ashamed is the one who wronged me. I am a new age young woman and I’m not afraid to fight for my rights and raise my voice against any kind of injustice.

I am not responsible for any wrong that happens to me and neither will I blame myself for any injustice I face no matter how much the society curses me. I deserve to look good and live my life the way I want to whether it’s partying or drinking or wearing an outfit of my choice. I deserve to live with my head held high and my mind without fear even if I have been wronged. And if this is why everyone hates me, I’m lovin’ it!!

Photo credits: nenuache.