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Ask A Feminist #5: Victims of society?

2012-02-09T18:48:44Z

This week's Ask A Feminist considers how we can argue that culture and society affect women without painting them as unthinking victims. Please add your thoughts in comments!

Dear Laura,

I am relatively new to the feminist movement and feminist thinking. I've already discovered many complex issues which require a great deal of thought, but the one that probably confounds me the most is how to argue for the power of our culture/society/the media on women's way of thinking without reducing women to malleable figures incapable of thinking for themselves. I feel quite strongly that the culture in the UK has a negative influence on the way that many women think about themselves and their abilities, but I find it difficult to argue for such influences without presenting women as little more than victims. I'd be really interested to hear what you, and F-Word readers, have to say on this issue.

- Rowena

I think a major point here is that we don't have to get stuck in the dichotomy of women being either helpless dupes of an all-powerful patriarchal culture or totally free agents who are impervious to cultural and social pressures. Discussions on why women engage in certain behaviours or think certain things do often get boiled down to a question of choice versus victim-hood, but in reality, human experience usually falls somewhere in between.

Clearly if women were nothing but "malleable figures incapable of thinking for themselves" we wouldn't see the wide range of different women with different passions, beliefs and experiences that we do in our society. However, there are also some clear trends in the way women think about themselves, express themselves and live their lives. The fact that they differ from society to society suggests that an individual's surroundings have some kind of effect on the person she becomes. For example, women living in a desert village in Namibia may view walking around with their breasts exposed as completely unremarkable, while most women in the UK would view this as rude or provocative and certainly socially unacceptable.

There have been plenty of studies into the effect of culture and socialisation on individuals' identity and behaviour, but given that you can't just pull these out of your trouser pocket when this issue comes up, I'd say the most accessible and obvious proof is the billions of pounds companies spend on advertising and marketing. Why would they invest so heavily if we weren't affected by what we see and hear around us? Indeed, a number of the trends I referred to above clearly mirror what is sold to us in advertising: many women's desire to be thin, beautiful, free of wrinkles and free of body hair matches the values of the advertising world. Jean Kilbourne has done a lot of work on this, including two books and the following film:

You may also find the discussion on women in popular culture at the recent Go Feminist! conference useful.

One could of course argue that advertisers just reflect what women inherently want, rather than creating their desires. But changes in women's beauty and personal care rituals over the years show us that there's nothing biologically inherent about how women want to look: an upper class Victorian woman would never have dreamed of painting her skin to make it look tanned, and my Grandma would have thought you'd lost the plot if you suggested she rip all her pubic hair out with wax-covered strips.

However, acknowledging that advertising affects women's desires and self-image doesn't mean painting women who use fake tan or remove their body hair as incapable of thinking for themselves. The same goes for other examples of social and cultural pressures. Women have the capacity to make different choices, but given that most people want to feel a sense of belonging and do not want to be singled out as different, it makes sense to go along with the dominant cultural norms. And if they're not exposed to any alternative perspectives, or if those alternative perspectives aren't perceived as credible because they're demonised within mainstream society, women are unlikely to question the status quo. That doesn't mean we're unable to: we just need access to alternatives and the tools required to deconstruct what has always been portrayed as normal and natural. We can then make more informed decisions about our lives, which may or may not include conforming to social norms.

For me, that tool is feminism. Reading feminist theory enabled me to stop thinking my hairy legs were disgusting, but prior to reading it I had never come across anyone or anything that told me any different. That doesn't mean I was helpless or irreparably brainwashed, just that I didn't have any reason to think outside the box.

A final point to consider is that there's no shame in being a victim. Detractors of feminism often complain that we paint all women as victims, but the truth is that many, many women are victimised within our society, and I don't think we should shy away from saying that. The crucial point is that feminism is about helping women move out of a victimised situation and stopping us from becoming victimised in the first place.

Photo by VirtualEyeSee, shared under a Creative Commons Licence.

Want to Ask A Feminist? Email laura[at]thefword.org.uk.

The manic pixie dreamgirl grows up

2012-02-09T11:29:26Z

Hit US sitcom New Girl arrived on British TV screens in January. The 'girl' is freshly heartbroken Jess (Zooey Deschanel), who finds herself sharing a house with three men. Emily Kenway and Kaite Welsh watched the first episode, to see how the show fared from a feminist perspective

Emily Kenway, explains why the show tickled her feminist fancies

New Girl is pretty simplistic as these things go, with clearly sign-posted slapstick and the obligatory heart-warming moments too. But is it feminist? That's a far more intriguing question.

The show is riven with clichés, from the best friend who is, of course, a professional model to the sleazy, sex-obsessed Schmidt. Not to mention the biggest one of all: Jess herself. The 'funny girl' is as much a stereotype as the 'hot girl', and Jess definitely falls into that There's Something about Mary category.

Click here to read more

An experience of crossing the gender divide: personal comfort before real difference

2012-02-09T11:41:11Z

A guest blog post from Jane Fae on a topic she wanted to cover during her guest blogging stint (back in September) but found hard to tackle until now.

This has been a difficult piece to write. Embarassingly so, for someone who regularly commits 5-6,000 words to paper in a day (well: I am a writer by trade!). Yet this felt too personal, too important to despatch lightly.

I am a woman "of trans history". That's a horrid, clumsy phrase, but better, in my view, than other circumlocutions. It's a fact I hardly hide, though I am aware that a few - mostly those who don't bother much with Google and are constantly surprised by life - might consider my failure to wear that fact openly a form of deception. I don't think so. It's there - not concealed - and for the rest, you can take my views on a range of issues as you find them.

But why? How? After writing a frequently frequented blog on my personal journey over the best part of two years, I find myself suddenly tongue-tied. Oh: there've been discoveries, from the joyful to the ouch (discovering for the first time that boobs make running up stairs not quite so straightforward).

There's been a lot that I suspect reads very teenage, tinged with adult-tinted spectacles. For in transitioning, one is essentially triggering a second puberty, with all the joys and heartaches that brings. Lots of wow! moments, when things never considered from a male perspective suddenly click into focus. Much awareness, too, of how much more gendered society is than I ever realised.

Many insights: a fair few generalisations, some of which I now regard as crashingly wrong. An issue, I guess, if I prized consistency in any way: but I don't. I learn, I change, I move on and I forgive myself my naiveté.

And that's at the root of why this took so long to write. The further along the road I get, the fewer big things I have to say. Why did I need to transition? Because. Partly because this body was wrong. Mostly, to begin with, because my life was wrong: forced to associate with a tribe - men - whose language was incomprehensible and whose behaviour frequently revolted me.

There's a change: for from alienation, whilst forced to live "as a man", I now find reconciliation: a gradual realisation that they aren't all bad. Just different.

I've never fancied guys. Not, that is, until recently, and thereby hangs another question. Is this real attraction or is it that, daily besieged by female friends reciting a litany of how cute this or that bloke is and how I'd "enjoy it really", my orientation is swinging, slowly, under social pressure? Dunno. That's still to explore.

The body thing shifted too. I love how I am NOW - but right up until the moment of no return, I had no idea how critical the physical would prove. Only the joy of waking post-op - and the constant joy of being who I am now, physically, tell the story. Apparently that's not unusual.

There's wistfulness - grief, - too. Because the best that I can hope for now is a shadow of how life might have been if someone had not pulled this awful trick on me at birth. Growing naturally, from girl to woman: all the things I never had.

Do I believe all this makes me a "real woman"? Ugh! I detest that phrase, wrapping, as it does, a universe of judgmentalism not just around trans, but around every woman who ever lived. I live a life defined mostly by female social mores. I've adjusted physically, which I believe helps in many ways, not least when it comes to acceptance.

I acknowledge the growth of the "transgender umbrella", encompassing everyone from transsexual to cross-dresser and drag kings and queens. Sometimes it makes me uneasy. I'm very mild, very ordinary in how I dress and live: not altogether comfortable at being associated with folk that tell me, in all serious, that you can't be a "real woman" unless you "wear six inch heels"!

How about differences? The essence of essentialism? In terms of lifestyle, day to day living, I've found plenty few seem really hard-wired to me.

Hormones: they make an enormous difference, from the clichéd "added emotionalism" to something that many trans folk, both male and female, recognise in an Alice in Wonderland mushroomy sort of way: one side, oestrogen "connects" you to people, society, the world; the other side, testosterone, seems to distance you.

Psychomatic? Maybe. But as effects go, it seems pretty universal.

Difference, too, I think, in day to day living, with guys less constantly aware of danger. So they often interpret violence and the threat of it differently: as random episodes to deal with whenever they occur, which foments individualism and, ultimately, less sense of the collective.

We're done: a piece I feared I could never write is finished. It was much harder than it looks.

Picture shows a transgender symbol in a circle on a copper background, with the female coded cross at the bottom, the male coded arrow in the top right and a combination of the two in the top left. By PhotoComiX, shared under a creative commons licence.

New review: 9 Bob Note

2012-02-08T18:31:50Z

The London borough of Lambeth, 21st century.

A drag queen in full attire and a woman in burka get stuck in a lift together...
A cheap trick, you say?

Perhaps watching Faryal Velmi's funny and pointed short film What You Looking At? would make you change your mind.

It was one of ten shorts showcasing new queer cinema, put together in 9 Bob Note programme by Peccadillo Picures and screened twice during the London Short Film Festival in January 2011.

This eclectic mix of short films depicted queer characters in both heart-wrenching and hilarious situations and is reviewed for us by Selina Robertson from Club Des Femmes, a queer-feminist film festival whose next pop-up event will be in April at Fringe.

Click here to read Selina's review and comment

Bristol Feminist Network on closure of Hooters Bristol

2012-02-08T14:58:32Z

This is the Bristol Feminist Network's statement on the closure of the Bristol branch of Hooters.

A victory for equality as Hooters closes its doors

Since its licence application in 2010, Bristol Feminist Network and Bristol Fawcett have campaigned against the opening of self-styled 'breastaurant' Hooters. Just over a year later, we are happy to report that it has closed its doors for good.

We believe that Hooters contributed to the normalisation of the sexual objectification of women on our high street. We have repeatedly argued and demonstrated that the impact of this objectification culture is very real and far-reaching. Research from the American Psychological Association on the treatment of women as objects shows that:

Pressure on women and girls to look and behave in certain ways negatively affects their self-esteem and their mental health.

Gender inequality is reinforced, and hopes for a level playing field are dashed, when women are valued for their supposed sex appeal at the expense of their other attributes and qualities.

After being exposed to images that sexually objectify women, men are significantly more accepting of sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, rape myths, and sex role stereotypes.

From its sexist and degrading imagery and language to its uniforms, signage and bikini contests, Hooters normalised a culture that values women as only and always sex objects. We argued that an establishment that seeks to make profit from sexism in this way had no place in a forward thinking and equal opportunity minded city like Bristol.

We are pleased to see that Bristol agreed with us. The fact that Hooters has now closed shows that its presence was not welcome in our city. Potential patrons of the restaurant voted with their feet.

We are of course sorry that its closure has resulted in women and men losing their jobs. However we hope that the premises are quickly filled, and new job opportunities created, by a company that doesn't seek to treat women as sex objects. We look forward to celebrating the opening of a new harbourside restaurant soon, one that fits our vision for an equal and forward thinking Bristol.

------------

'Feminist fist' symbol based on public domain image Womanpower_logo from Wikimedia Commons

Music paste up: A little bit noir, a little bit Henry James, a little bit old school glamour

2012-02-07T22:51:40Z

Those whose interest was piqued by Kaite Welsh's recent review of the new Laura Gibson album, Le Grande may be interested in Laura's new video for the album's title track. Directed by Alicia J. Rose, the video is inspired by and recorded at the The Hot Lake Hotel in the town of La Grande, Oregon. With its natural hot lake that billows smoke and mist across the land, a 200 year-old history and concealed setting, it initially captured Laura Gibson's imagination during one stay there and she wrote 'La Grande' on the premises.

Having never been captured on film until now, The Hot Lake Hotel had maintained its mysterious character for many years, from its early days as a Native American healing centre, until eventually being abandoned before its renovation a few years ago.

The overall feel of the video is haunting and eerie, not to mention a little bit reminiscient of Henry James' Turn of the screw

The experimentation of artists with the past, with black and white film and the bygone age of literature and film is not new of course, so I've strung together a post featuring some other examples of this latent tendency, which I hope you'll enjoy.

Florence + the machine recently went distinctly 1930s with the video to 'Shake it out', and the track itself was also used in this tribute to Pre-Code Hollywood.

Going back to earlier more silent times, this is clip of Clara Bow in the 1927 film IT

Which I have been introduced to by my friend Michelle, who does a blog about silent films.

I got the Siouxsie and the Banshees At the BBC boxset for Christmas, which includes a DVD of all the bands appearances on the BBC, including this perfomance of 'Peek a boo' from 1988. Whilst Siouxsie didn't specifically mention Clara Bow as an influence in this interview, she did point to Theda Bare and Louise Brooks, which would tie in with her look at this point.

I am dedicating this last clip to my friend Clare who is off sick from work at the moment, and who has the same haircut as Siouxsie had in 1988. Get well soon Clare...

Picture of Laura Gibson by Dani Canto, shared via a flickr creative commons licence.

V-day

2012-02-07T22:58:35Z

Want to cut through the commercial crap of Valentine's Day, but still do something a bit romantic?

Rather than getting your loved one a card, flowers or a stuffed toy, you might want to consider one of these virtual romantic gestures.

A selection of artists have each created cute message in a belljar, created by an artist (such as the one to the right, 'Some old fashioned romance', by Marie-Louise Jones). You can pay for the image to be texted to your Valentine, and Women's Aid received a donation.

"I didn't have a childhood at all..."

2012-02-07T12:48:43Z

This is a guest post by CRASAC. Please take care reading on, as it may be triggering.

Neesha*'s Story is one of desperate despair, a childhood robbed, but it is also a story about hope, she has been at the very bottom and knows how it feels. Her message is simple, find help, it's out there.

Downstairs, I could hear them playing, I so desperately wanted to be there, playing with them... but I couldn't. was in the bedroom with the man who came into my life and took away my childhood. I was nine years old.

It started after my dad had passed away. My mum remarried pretty much straight away, and the man she brought into our home - my new stepdad - started abusing me.

It continued for seven years, every day for seven years.

With the sexual abuse, came mental abuse. I was changing, it was affecting me.

My dad was a brilliant man and I was grieving after his death. I was vulnerable.

This new man who came into our lives started telling me I'd done something wrong and I believed him. I used to try to work out what it was I had done wrong. But I couldn't work it out because I hadn't done anything, I was just nine years old.

He started scaring me, telling me I'd get chucked out of the house if my family found out. He would tell me that there was no-one around for us because my dad's not here and he would eventually kill us all. But he would keep me alive with him for a couple of days before he killed me too.

We're a big family, nobody knew and there was no way anybody would have known because people like him are very clever. They don't do it in front of everyone, they use very clever, sneaky tactics to do this.

It was affecting me mentally. I was becoming very bitter. My family didn't know, and I started to hate them as well, started to wish it wasn't me it was happening to.

But when I was about fourteen, I knew I had to stop it. I had become so bitter and twisted and angry by then. So I decided that when I was sixteen I would just leave home without telling anyone. And that's what I did. I just left home, didn't have contact with the family for years and years.

I didn't have a childhood at all. I can honestly say I didn't experience a happy day after my dad died and that's the truth. I was fearful all the time. I was anxious. I was agitated. I felt embarrassed. I hated myself you know?

I used to dress in baggy clothes and try to make myself not look attractive but at the same time I didn't feel I was attractive anyway compared to everyone else. I just hated myself.

I came to CRASAC when my doctor referred me for counselling. Really, from there I started getting help. But it's a long journey. I think what people need to understand is certain words, smiles, places, times, it all could affect you. It can bring everything flooding back.

I mean I love my child so much, more than anything in the world but giving her a bath will bring back memories for me and you're expected to... fit into a society of what you call 'normal people' but you don't feel normal yourself.

So I decided to talk about my experience to help others.

I've been right at the bottom as well and I know, and it makes my heart hurt to know people are like that, there's people like that who are feeling rock bottom at the moment and I just want people to know that there's help.

We're not just a number or statistic, we're living people who do need that help and we need to rebuild our lives because our lives have been shattered through no fault of our own.

And I'm doing this just to let people know that you can get through it, but you need all the right help in order to do it.

For Neesha, she decided to go on the journey to rebuild her life. You can too.

Ring this number to speak to us: 024 76 277777 Monday to Friday 10am to 2pm and Monday and Thursday 6pm to 8pm.

*Neesha is a pseudonym.

CRASAC were the winner of the Guardian charity of the year award 2011. This is a video about their work.

The image is a black and white drawing, or possibly an etching, of a woman, entitled "Sad Eyed". It was taken by URBAN ARTefakte and is used under a Creative Commons Licence

Weekly round up

2012-02-06T22:32:30Z

Hola feministas, happy Monday! As always, a post to pull together this week's links and bits and bobs. Feel free to use the comments as an open thread for discussion, or tell us of anything else we missed. As always, please note that us including a post here doesn't mean we endorse it, or even agree with it. It's just stuff that we've found noteworthy for one reason or another. If you disagree with any of them please do have at in the comments. And so, on with the show ...

The Foreign Policy Association profile two inspirational Brazillian women - President Dilma Rousseff and Maria das Gracas Foster
Jenny Morris on the 'logic' of reducing benefits for disabled children
Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon on sexual abuse in BDSM communities
TFW blogger Josephine Tsui in a podcast for CJSW: Good Girls Marry Doctors on "Yeah, What She Said!"
Jane Fae: No Fly Zone for trans people in Canada
Diary of a female IT consultant at GirlyGeekdom
Why Men Always Tell You to Watch Movies: the scarcity of female voiceover work at the New York Times
'Don't call me 'babe' on the bus, please' at CiF
LGBT Rights in Tunisia, A Year After the Revolution (Gender Across Borders)
Larry Derfner on why American liberals should ditch the term 'Israel Firster'
Question Time, QI and Mock the Week criticised by BBC diversity report (via the Guardian) (see our previous post on the issue here)
When is French Elle going to put a black woman on its cover? (Jezebel)
Committee's solution to attacks on female politicians: 'just get on with it' (Guardian)
Feminist punk band Pussy Riot take revolt to the Kremlin
Young girls forced into under-age marriages in London (Digital Journal)
Fatemeh Fakhraie: Who Says I Can't be a Muslim Feminist?
Hong Kong full page newspaper advert protesting the 'invasion' of pregnant women from mainland China, comparing them to a plague of locusts (China Hush)
Ken Clarke announces an extension of UK Hate Crime laws so that murders motivated by hatred of the disabled or transgendered will have the same legal starting point as murders aggravated by race, religion or sexual orientation.
Breastfeeding support: less is not more (Spilt Milk)
Top Totty Beer Withdrawn From Parliamentary Bar (Huffington Post)
Those who die to keep us safe: European Union's Frontex and the administration of immigrants (Tiger Beatdown)
London Feminist takes the green ink to Ann Widdecombe's Express column
(Trigger Warning: VAW, corrective rape) BBC News Africa reports that 4 men have been convicted and sentanced for the murder of a lesbian woman in South Africa
The Safe Spaces for Women and Girls Writing Project launches
Video from Davos: Sandberg sees Global Ambition Gap
Hard Knock Life? Try Being A Teenage Indian Feminist by Erinn Dhesi
The Guardian reports that benefit cuts and government rhetoric on disabled people are fuelling resentment and abuse aimed at disabled people
Sarah Burke gets women freestyling skiing into the Olympics (documentary excerpt)
The Daily Beast: Komen Incites Women's 'Tahrir Square Moment'
UNFPA statement on Renewing Commitment to End Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting
The government has rejected a petition to issue a posthumous pardon to Alan Turing, WWII war hero and computer expert, who was conviced of homosexuality and chemically castrated
Open Democracy on Heterosexual Privilege in Higher Education

And last but very definitely not least:

Alberta Council for Global Community celebrates their Top 30 under 30 for International Development. Celebrating young leaders in women's empowerment (featuring TFW blogger Josephine Tsui at No.18 - congratulations Jos!).

Have a great week!

Image courtesy of flickr user Kristjan Wager, used under a Creative Commons license. It shows a pavement stencil reading "feminism rocks" with a female gender symbol.

Unilad: an entire culture summed up in one hideous website

2012-02-08T14:59:40Z

This is a guest post by Sarah McAlpine, who can be found on twitter @sazza_jay.

This week I happened upon a website, Unilad, in which one writer ended a horrendously offensive with the now infamous line:

"And if the girl you've taken for a drink...won't 'spread for your head', think about this mathematical statistic: 85% of rape cases go unreported.

That seems to be fairly good odds."

Apparently this is supposed to be some sort of a joke, devoid as it is from any wit - although I can't imagine a circumstance under which you could describe the statement as funny.

Soon after reading the article, I informed them that it may break hate speech laws. They responded, not-at-all predictably, by asking me, "are you a dyke?"

Almost immediately the twittersphere was engulfed in outrage. Thousands were calling on the website to apologise and remove the offending content. It turned out UniLad's offensive content was actually the entirety of the website. Articles advising readers on How To Fuck Your Lecturer, informing you on The Problem With Slags and a particularly cheery anecdote called The Angry Shag which depicted smashing a woman's face into the wall during intercourse in order "to knock some sense into her".

They then removed the website and left an apology there; www.unilad.com, and on their facebook page, where commenters pondered the best way to punish humourless, lesbian bitches like me. One in particular involves raping us to death.

Since Wednesday, at least one of the students has come under investigation by their University. They obviously want to distance themselves from the scandal, and are keen to show that the website isn't a reflection of their campus culture.

They are perhaps a little optimistic. As a recent graduate I'd love to agree, and say that UniLad are a rare breed, that misogyny was about as common on campus as early starts and that the men are enlightened and respectful of women. Sadly, many students' experiences don't fit that narrative.

Whilst at University, I had the misfortune of meeting a 'UniLad' or two. They all had one thing in common- a complete and utter lack of any empathy for women. I'd go so far as to say that they didn't think of women as people at all.

One of the first phrases you're introduced to during Fresher's week is Faffing. This describes sexual intercourse with a first year student (or, Fucking A Fresher). The phrase is used almost exclusively against women, normally by older students. There are several Facebook groups dedicated to the objectification of female students- one at my University was run by the male members of a society wherein they could discuss the female members, and any sexual relations they'd had with them. Rape jokes are two a penny, and women are constantly referred to a sluts and whores. Many of these so called 'lads' have real issues with concepts such as 'personal space' and 'sexual autonomy'. Unwanted groping is par for the course on a standard night out.

What I'm saying is, sadly, there is a persistent and growing 'Lad' culture on our University campuses. UniLad is not that uncommon, and this is harmful, and dangerous to female students.

Last year studies showed that the attitudes of rapists towards women are reflected by mainstream 'lads' mags'. In fact, participants were unable to successfully differentiate between statements made by convicted sex offenders and those found in the likes of Nuts and Zoo. I can only imagine what they'd make of the articles found on unilad.com.

1 in 7 women will be seriously physically or sexually assaulted whilst at University. Rape is a terrifying reality for many female students. These so called 'jokes' on UniLad describe genuine experiences for women, and it's important that this story doesn't focus on one horrendous oh-so-funny comment about rape. It's about an entire cesspit of hatred, bigotry, homophobia and good-old fashioned sexism, an entire culture summed up in one hideous website.

Women have to live within this culture everyday, wherever they go. It has no place in the hallowed halls of learning, on our streets or in our homes. Enough was enough for me. That's why I called out UniLad, and why I'll continue to call out others like it until we see the back end of Lad Culture for good.

[The image is a photograph of a large group of women at a demonstration carrying a large banner with the words RAPE: A GLOBAL PROBLEM. It was taken by Chris Hacking and is used under a Creative Commons Licence]

New feature: No access to the women's room

2012-02-05T16:13:11Z

"My clothes-shopping nightmares epitomise the way that, as a disabled woman, I am often treated as though I have no gender," writes DH Kelly, whose new feature for The F-Word looks at how clothes shops often fail to cater to disabled women, and what the reasons are for that.

She continues:

Clothes-shopping, style and presentation are not supposed to matter to me. I'm not even supposed to feel self-conscious about getting undressed in the presence of strange men. And those men, in turn, aren't supposed to think of me as a woman, not enough to feel self-conscious about getting undressed in my presence.

Have readers had similar experiences? Click here the whole of D H Kelly's feature and discuss.

Go Feminist

2012-02-05T13:00:49Z

Conway Hall was once again crammed with feminists yesterday. People came from all over the country for Go Feminist. When the organisers wrote for The F-Word about this conference, a few weeks ago, they explained the motivation like this:

We do this as a response to feminism's most sustained critique: that it is not for all women. Although women from all backgrounds and communities identify with feminist beliefs, the movement still does not completely take into account their needs and realities. Too often in our feminist spaces, the voices of a few are privileged. Race is inadequately dealt with. Our spaces, both physical and virtual, are inaccessible to women living with disabilities. Trans women's involvement is actively discouraged.

The conference was a sustain riposte to this argument: among the many speakers on the main stage, we heard from women asylum seekers, deaf feminists, we heard from one of the women who ran a support group in the 1980s for black lesbian feminists across the country - painstakingly collecting any articles that referenced the existence of black lesbians, and mailing them out.

With the help of Julia and Nat, the whole event was livestreamed on the internet too - you can watch back all the plenary sessions online too, even if you weren't able to make it to London yesterday. (I'm spending this afternoon watching some of the sessions I missed!)

And I did a few little video interviews as well and blog posts which I hope give a bit more of a sense of what it was like to attend (apologies for the slightly shaky camera work at times!)

Of course, there were lots of F-Worders there too. I spoke to zohra about an intersectionality workshop we both took part in:

And Catherine explains about a session on women and the cuts:

Here's Bidisha, who compered the event:

Anyway, it was fabulous to see a conference that walked the walk on intersectionality. Amazing work, all involved.

When is an affair not an affair? (Trigger warning)

2012-02-05T10:36:48Z

Michael Yardley, a Police Community Support Officer, has been jailed after admitting raping a 12 year old girl, as well as four counts of sexual activity. His defence was that he had become "unhappy in his marriage". Thankfully, most people with unhappy marriages do not console themselves by raping children, but this man did.

Yardley has been sentenced to 10 years in prison, and is on the Sex Offenders' Register for the rest of his life.

You'd think the rape of a child would be fairly unambiguous territory. Yet in the Daily Mail's report on the assaults, journalist Graham Smith twice refers to it as an "affair". He also describes the rape as them "having sex with each other on several occasions".

The girl is reported to have told police that she and Yardley were planning to move in together when she turned 18, and she may well have meant it. This does not make it any less a case of abuse and assault. Children have elements of their own sexuality, some of which they may express towards others. If a child behaves in a sexual way towards an adult, it is the responsibility of the adult to not take advantage of her. The adult's responsibility is to know that to respond in a sexual way is abusive, exploitative and highly inappropriate.

Hypothetically - because I know nothing of the victim in this case - a child expressing her sexuality overtly may be more vulnerable than most.

It's quite simple really:

If a child has a crush on you, an adult, don't rape them.

If a child tries to kiss you, don't rape them.

If a child cuddles you, don't rape them.

If a child sends you 200 text messages, don't rape them.

And if a child is raped by a Police Community Support Officer, don't write in a national newspaper that they had an affair. A child is not capable of "having sex with" an adult. Not ethically, not morally, nor legally.

(Hat-tip to @marstrina and @CathElliott for spotting and passing on the story)

[The image is a photograph of some stencil graffiti of an angry woman. It was taken in Lisbon by Manuel Faisco and is used under a Creative Commons Licence]

How to be a woman: teen anorexia and the female form

2012-02-02T16:48:50Z

Warning: this post discusses eating disorders and talks about experiences which some readers may find upsetting

"During the past decade, women breached the power structure; meanwhile, eating disorders rose exponentially and cosmetic surgery became the fastest growing medical speciality. During the past five years, consumer spending doubled, pornography became the main media category, ahead of legitimate films and records combined, and thirty-three thousand American women told researchers that they would rather lose ten to fifteen pounds than achieve any other goal... inside the majority of the West's controlled, attractive, successful working women, there is a secret 'underlife' poisoning our freedom; infused with notions of beauty, it is a dark vein of self-hatred [and] dread of lost control." - The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf

My generation of young women has it easy in so many ways. We are the boardroom quota generation; the diversity audit generation; the technology generation, living in a world where the internet gives voice to our every complaint, and 140 characters can effect change. But we're also the anorexia generation. Around 1 in every 150 fifteen year old girls is anorexic, and I was one of them.

It seems counter-intuitive that greater financial and social power for women can be reconciled with ever-decreasing power over our own bodies. Yet as women have achieved greater equality at home and in the work-place, the demands we place on our bodies to conform, to correspond to our successes, become more and more debilitating. The discrepancy between perfectionism - at work, at home, physically - and anorexia is vast, and I don't wish to confuse ambition with a serious mental disorder, but the fact that you can trace this relentless pursuit of achievement across anorexics everywhere is indicative of a wider tendency of women in society.

With the benefit of hindsight, it's clear that my own anorexia was, among many other factors, born of a desire to really achieve something. The sense of impotency that enveloped my existence as a teenager was only briefly cleared by the control granted by self-starvation. But anorexia is a slimy, slippery beast; she offers you control, and then before you can catch a breath, you find yourself imprisoned. No power, no independence, no privacy; doctors and nurses poking at your ugly little body, and your parents getting more and more haggard, as all of your lives rapidly fall apart. And all the while, your very thoughts and feelings are mercilessly monitored by something alien within you, making every hour a sordid struggle, a lonely and relentless trudge.

Indeed, I asked Gemma, a fellow anorexic, whether she was looking forward to adulthood, and her response perfectly summarises the hypocrisy of the anorexic independence complex: "Yes! I'm looking forward to living my own life with much more independence, but I know that I must fully recover in order to be able to cope with this."

Why do we drive ourselves to such extremes for the sake of control? It's no accident that emerging from the abyss of anorexia coincides with many young women's discovery of women's rights activism. I speak as someone who found myself, unexpectedly, at a healthy weight, and just as suddenly found myself at the forming of a feminist organisation; the question of female power and the question of anorexic power are, to my mind at least, inextricably linked. My peers and I are told that we must grow up into one of a set of women, their outlines dictated by society: the working mother, the childless career woman, the stay at home mum, the spinster.

Of course, anorexia is much more complicated and varied than merely a product of pressure and impotency. I interviewed a number of other anorexics to get a picture of how they felt, and a definite thread comes through. "Lack of self-worth" and "inadequacy" are recurring phrases; one girl, Freya, told me, "I didn't feel I was as good enough a woman as I wanted to be... [I] thought losing weight would change that". Adulthood - womanhood - stretches unwelcomingly ahead: we're taught that we will never be, should never be, happy with ourselves, our lives, our bodies. So we start with our bodies. It's supposed to be the easiest thing to succeed at being, being thin.

All names have been changed.

Note: Anorexia nervosa is a classified mental illness. If you are worried about someone else's health, or think you might suffer from an eating disorder yourself, please, please seek medical help. Eating disorders can have terrible long-term consequences; they can kill.

B-eat, the eating disorders charity, offers information and advice.
NHS online also has lots of information and advice on treatment.

Picture by Santiago Alvarez, used under a Creative Commons License

Ask A Feminist #4: Does my sex life let the side down?

2012-02-09T13:07:31Z

A reader who felt alienated by some of the comments left under Nat's recent post asks whether practising BDSM is incompatible with feminism.

Dear Laura,

I've been into BDSM for all my adult life and am mostly submissive. I'm also bisexual, and have "played" with and submitted to women in the past, not just men. I'm fairly new to feminism and although some feminists don't see an issue with BDSM, some certainly do, and it leaves me feeling intimidated and scared of being accused of not being a real feminist.

It seems for every person who says it's absolutely fine to be "kinky" there are plenty out there telling me my desires are just a by-product of the patriarchy, pretty much implying I don't know my own mind and body. Even if I was influenced in some way by patriarchal culture around me (I'm well aware I may well be) should I stop having the sex I enjoy because it offends some feminists? I don't think that's going to happen.

I managed to get through my teenage years without actually seeing a porn film so the vast majority of fantasies I have in my head are pretty much what I've had to cobble together myself. How the hell I got into BDSM I don't know but it's a very potent part of my sexuality and it's not going anywhere any time soon.

So, is it really OK for someone like me to join in feminist discussions and be taken seriously? Can a woman with my desires ever really be considered a feminist? Or, despite all that I believe in and how I behave outside my bedroom, does what I do inside it let the whole side down?

- Kinky Feminist

When you're new to feminism, it can be exciting and uplifting to find a community of people who finally "get it". Adopting the feminist label makes you feel like a part of this community and so it can be upsetting when you read things implying that you don't deserve it. However, feminism is a broad movement and there are as many different feminist viewpoints as there are feminists. There will always be someone for whom you're not "feminist enough". While this means both online and offline feminist communities may not be the 100% welcoming, supportive space you initially thought you'd found, it does mean that worrying about what other feminists think of you is a futile undertaking, and if you do feel uncomfortable around some feminists, there will always be others you'll get on with like the proverbial burning house.

For me, what matters is not whether you meet the feminist club entry criteria set out by a given feminist, but whether you do what you can in your own life to support women and tackle the various forms of discrimination we face. It may be that alongside any efforts you make in this regard, you also engage in things that some feminists and even you yourself view us unhelpful or rooted in patriarchy. Given that we've all been socialised into and have to live within patriarchal society, it'd be pretty amazing if you didn't.

A lot of feminists shave their legs, let male partners get away with not doing enough housework or buy clothing produced by women working in terrible conditions overseas, to name but a few activities that could be termed "letting the side down". They may prefer they didn't do these things, but for various reasons feel that it is too difficult to change, or they may not see them as problematic at all, again for a wide variety of reasons. But these activities don't negate their work to support services for single mums, verbally challenge everyday sexism or contribute to the local rape crisis centre.

No feminist is perfect, and as long as on balance you do more to help women than to hinder them (unlike women such as Nadine Dorries, whose anti-choice agenda and activities more than overshadow her speaking up about the lack of women on the BBC), you have just as much right as the next person to consider yourself a feminist and join in feminist discussions. Even if some people think the kind of sex you like is anti-feminist.

Personally, I don't think engaging in BDSM or submissive sex holds back women's liberation. As I've discussed previously, there are many different reasons why people enjoy BDSM, and I think it's simplistic and unhelpful to suggest that it always comes down to an assertion of male power over women and that BDSM therefore furthers gender inequality (although this may well be the case in some instances). Both non-BDSM and BDSM sex can be used to abuse, hurt and oppress women, and both can be enjoyed in a positive way that doesn't hurt anyone: it all depends on the individuals involved.

If you're happy with your sex life and don't feel the feminist arguments against BDSM hold up to your experiences, then that particular feminist theory needn't form part of your feminism. Focus on what matters to you, and remember: your opinion is no less valid then anyone else's.

Photo by VirtualEyeSee, shared under a Creative Commons Licence.

Want to Ask A Feminist? Email laura[at]thefword.org.uk.

New review: You'll catch your death in that

2012-02-02T11:21:18Z

Hugely successful gaming giant World of Warcraft has introduced a new package that allows even more customisation of player's avatars: including choosing skimpier outfits for female characters. Teri Shelly wonders what it means if she wants her avatar to wear a plate bikini

World of Warcraft is probably the most successful computer game of all time. There can't be many people who don't know about it, even if they have no interest in gaming. And with 10.3 million subscribers world-wide, there's clearly a great deal of people that not only do know about its existence but also play it ...a lot.

Of course, whether these people enjoy the game is another matter. For a game as popular as WoW there's a great deal of negativity about it on the internet. After each WoW expansion (the fourth one - Mists of Pandaria - is due out next year), a solid core of players rise up in a furore about how the game has finally jumped the shark and announce that they are to leave the game forever (until they return after a few months time having realised how cold and lonely the non-Azeroth world really is).

Click here to read the rest of the review and comment.

Canada: Changes to identity screening requirements

2012-02-01T23:05:16Z

Last July, the Governor General of Canada made changes to the Aeronautics Act, (note: these changes were not subject to the Parliamentary process) which have the potential to adversely affect several groups of people.

The specific clause which is of concern states that:

Sec 5.2(1) An air carrier shall not transport a passenger if
(a) the passenger presents a piece of photo identification and does not resemble the photograph;
(b) the passenger does not appear to be the age indicated by the date of birth on the identification he or she presents;
(c) the passenger does not appear to be of the gender indicated on the identification he or she presents; or
(d) the passenger presents more than one form of identification and there is a major discrepancy between those forms of identification.

There is an exemption for any passenger whose appearance has changed as a result of medical reasons (and they have a letter from a healthcare professional confirming this), but in principle, the ruling gives the authorities the option to bar people with a mismatch between their gender presentation and "the identification he or she presents" (presumably this is most likely to be their passport) from entering the country. So if you were assigned one gender at birth but your presentation is at odds with the stereotypical appearance often associated with that gender, then you may be prevented from flying into, and within, Canada. It's fairly clear that this could have a significant impact on some TS/TG, intersex and other non-binary identified people.

The risk of being prevented from travelling because of a mismatch between one's gender presentation and legal documentation isn't a new thing and can be traced back, if I understand correctly, at least as far as the days after the 9/11 attacks when some male members of the bin Laden family were believed to have fled the US dressed in burqas. A longer-term outcome of this has been the steady introduction of body-scanning technology at all airports in the US and the UK wherein one's anatomy is clearly visible on-screen to airline employees (note: not security officials). In passing, this article by Victoria Cohen in The Observer last October points out that these scanners are also being introduced at some UK railway stations.

However TS/TG, intersex and non-binary identified people are not the only vulnerable group here: Canada has also recently introduced legislation to prevent Muslim women from covering their faces while taking the oath of citizenship and I can't help but wonder if these regulations could also be used against this group, too. The logic is that if a woman's face is not visible, then it's not possible for the Canadian authorities to assess if her appearance is congruent with her documents. I think that there is significant potential for Islamophobic discrimination and associated human rights breaches as a result.

Of course, many of the particular concerns of TS/TG, intersex and other non-binary identified people could, theoretically, be allayed by the removal of gender markers from passports, and by the delinking of one's legal documentation to one's gender presentation and medical/surgical status. As things stand, even if a TS/TG person has undergone surgical transition, there is no guarantee that they won't be tripped up by the requirement; for example, last year, Egypt refused entry to two TS women who had undergone surgery because their documents and physical bodies differed.

It seems to me that the questions of document mismatch and gender markers on passports could well benefit from further consideration by those with the power to legislate around human rights issues. But I doubt that's likely to happen as long as certain countries continue to view every air traveller as either a potential terrorist or in need of punishment for not complying with cultural stereotypes of what is meant by male and female.

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Flag of Canada: Public domain image via Wikipedia

Join me on the Bridge 2012

2012-02-01T12:27:46Z

This is a guest post by Sarah O'Malley

Throughout the world hundreds of thousands of women are living with the physical and emotional scars inflicted by war. Join me on the Bridge is a chance for people to stand in solidarity with these women on International Women's Day (March 8th), and join their fight for peace and equality.

Join me on the Bridge is now in its third year, beginning in 2010 when women from Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) met on the bridge that joins their two countries. Each group carried two halves of a banner, and when they met they tied them together to reveal the message: 'women are building bridges of peace.' This symbolic and moving event sparked a global movement that last year saw 75,000 people in 70 countries meet on bridges to show their support for these women, and the many others who have suffered because of war and gender inequalities.

We hear all too frequently of the abuses suffered by women in the countries we work with. It was reported this week that a woman in the Kunduz province of Afghanistan was murdered by her mother-in-law and husband for failing to produce a son. In a recent report by Doctors without Borders, it was revealed that only 1% of pregnant women in DRC with HIV are receiving treatment, and one of the reasons given for this is that international donor support is being withdrawn. It is important that the international community supports women in Afghanistan, DRC and other war afflicted countries to ensure their voices are heard and their demands for peace and equality are met.

This year marks the beginning of the second century for International Women's Day (IWD), and the beginning of a renewed effort to secure equality, security and a voice for women around the world. We would love you to join us at one of our Bridge Events to stand in solidarity with our sisters in war-torn countries, and to celebrate IWD. Our flagship event in London has now been confirmed, and we will be marching across the Millennium Bridge on 8th March. Last year we were joined by over 2,000 people, and this year we hope even more of you will join us.

To find out more about the London event have a look at the website (www.joinmeonthebridge.org) and if you can't make it to London don't worry - there are events taking place all over the world, details of which can be found on the site. We look forward to seeing you there!

Can't make it on the day? There are plenty of ways you can support the campaign even if you can't be at an event in person. You can let people know about Join me on the Bridge via social media, you can sign up to the website and leave a message of peace for us to share with the women we work with, or you can donate and help support the work we do with women in war-torn countries. Information on all of this and more can be found on the website.

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Image by courtesy of Join Me On The Bridge

Welcome to February's guest bloggers

2012-02-03T15:42:03Z

Please welcome our brand new guest bloggers for February, Harriet S H and Breish Rowe.

Harriet S H is the founder and Chair of YouFem, a youth feminist group based in London that seeks to keep young women's issues on the agenda, and to involve young people in feminism. Harriet blogs regularly for the YouFem blog, oversees campaigns, and haphazardly organizes YouFem meetings at her local pub in Islington. A politics-addict throughout her teens, she's been an active proponent of women's issues since a peer first told her to "get back into the kitchen". She's currently in her final year of school and has applied to university to study English Literature.

Breish is a psychology graduate from Durham University, who has spent the last few years wondering what the heck to do with her life. A life-long feminist, she rediscovered her passion for the movement intellectually (having always been one in practice), and has set up a feminist group for deaf women. Her mission in life now is to empower women and to re-educate society while tackling access issues for deaf people. A tall order perhaps, but she's gonna do it!

Thanks so much to Natalie Dzerins and Katy Harrad (AKA katyha) for their contributions during January.

Image, by Flickr user crl!, shows a cookie in the shape of a female symbol, iced red, on a pink plate. It is shared under a creative commons license.

Farewell

2012-01-31T09:09:04Z

It's time for my final post here. It's been a good month, in which I got to talk about things I'm passionate about but don't usually discuss on my blog. Having discussed Doctor Who, sex and anarchism, I feel like I've managed to give people a good idea of what I'm like and what's important to me.

I thought I'd finish this month's guest spot with a final music post, to go with the other two. In this, I'll talk about five other female punk bands that have influenced me or opened new doors to me but, for whatever reason, wouldn't fit in the other posts.

The first of these is Le Tigre. Formed by Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill, Le Tigre have a much more electro-poppy sound, but still manage to tackle the same feminist and LGBT issues. With infectious catchiness, they brought riot grrrl into a new century, alongside other bands such as Chicks on Speed. Perhaps their best known single (and definitely my favourite) is Deceptacon:

The Butchies are a band I discovered through Le Tigre (their lead singer, Kaia Wilson, released LT's first album). Formed by former members of Team Dresch and Born Against, this queercore band released four albums before sadly going on hiatus in 2005. Combining light guitar riffs with explorations of sexuality and gender identity, The Butchies are a really easy band to love:

Bratmobile were part of the original riot grrrl scene of the early 90s, playing with Bikini Kill. After doing a reunion tour with Sleater-Kinney in 1999, and releasing two more albums, the band called it a day in 2004. The band have a minimalist, Ramones-esque quality to their music, which combines easily with elements of surf-rock to give their songs a wonderfully catchy, upbeat quality, as illustrated by the fabulous Gimme Brains:

Another highly recommended band are Lunachicks, a New York band who were active between 1987 and 2000. With fast-paced, hardcore songs about getting drunk and having a good time, you can't help but smile when you hear them:

Finally (and possibly most importantly) on the list is Peaches. Born Merrill Beth Nisker, Peaches is a Canadian solo musician best known for her sexually-explicit, gender-bending electro-rock. (If those three hyphenated terms appearing together don't get you excited, we can't be friends. Sorry.) While her lyrics may be too extreme for some (Some people say I keep my self-respect/hidden in my cervix), I've always admired her promotion of female sexuality and her "don't give a shit" attitude, brilliantly displayed by one of her earlier songs, Fuck The Pain Away:

I think we're really lucky to live in a time where music (whatever our tastes may be) is so widely available. Whether you're listening to bigger bands on Youtube, Last FM and Spotify or checking out some up-and-coming kids on Soundcloud, Bandcamp or Myspace, there's never been a better time to discover new things.

And with that, I declare this guest-blog closed! It's been a lot of fun, and I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity to do it, and especially to Laura, who mentored me, edited my posts and moderated comments. Thanks everyone.

Photo of Peaches by Kmeron, shared under a Creative Commons Licence.