The most common way to spell parent is M-O-T-H-E-R or F-A-T-H-E-R. Not in my case, because these people don’t deserve to be called parents. Listen, the woman and man who created me are not horrible people, again, they just don’t deserve to be called parents. Instead, they have different names:

A wannabe friend.

A pro-bono patient for my private therapy practice.

A child I babysat.

A divorce lawyer.

A cheerleader for their accomplishments.

They taught me what fear feels like, how easy it is to abandon someone, what it feels like to be used for labor and for bragging rights and how your accomplishments meant nothing. And even through all of this I was holding on to a dream, a dream that never came true. The dream to be wanted. To be loved.

Our society has pushed the idea that parents should be given love and support because they are the ones who gave you life – your bloodlines if you will. But this expectation is flawed because day after day, there are children thrown into the hell of foster programs and beaten by fists from the very people who created them.

The psychological impact of bad parenting is compared to the trauma of soldiers with PTSD. You can scoff at this comparison, but a child’s development is dependent on parent(s) to help him or her grow into adulthood in this world: stern but also selfless.

They should at least worry and care for you exponentially, rather than leave you in the desert to rot. This is why I cannot call my mother and father parents. Love from them was a placebo so I had to turn elsewhere.

I turned to my six younger siblings, six parents. They taught me what love feels like, what support feels like, the importance of academia, how to handle heartbreak and heartthrob, the gift of emotional understanding, and the ability to push me along to the right path and away from becoming a delinquent in our society.

My brothers, sisters, and I each learned how to adjust ourselves when dealing with the people who created us. Often times voluntarily receiving beatings for each other so an individual didn’t scar emotionally or psychology too much.It’s just one example of how relied and how we still rely on each other for many different reasons. We are parents to each other.

The Lucky Ones

If you can call the people who created you parents, please remember how lucky you are. So many times I see children whose “parents” are their mother and father and I get jealous about how much these adults care for their children. Many times I find it disheartening when a child whose mother and father give them so much parental love are taken for granted.

I don’t have to tell you examples, but I see this on a daily basis when children are yelling at their parents because they didn’t give them the right toy, ignored and not even given a simple “thank you” when their mother and father cook them home cooked meals, get annoyed when a parent calls them to just see if they’re doing “okay.”

Again, Do you know how lucky you are if your mother or father does this? Be appreciative.

Last Thoughts

To mothers and fathers out there, please understand that how you treat your child determines their emotional growth and ultimately their overall behavior. You have a responsibility to give the tools to live a life so that they’ll make a positive impact to this world. You have the responsibility to give enough love and trust so that they will take these tools and spread it on the people they interact with and to their own future children.

I’m not saying that a child’s behavior, no matter if positive or negative, is entirely your fault. I’m just saying that a child needs a parent that they can count on to say “I am here for you.” And in my case, these parents were not my mother and father.

This is why I spell parents as S-I-B-L-I-N-G-S. They’ve given me everything and I’m grateful. Appreciative.

How do you spell “parents”?