"I tended to spend too much time with my favorite things, loved them too hard until I wore them down...."

Tue, 10 Jul 2018 17:56:04 -0500

“I tended to spend too much time with my favorite things, loved them too hard until I wore...

Books have always found me in some of my hardest moments.It may...

Mon, 09 Jul 2018 20:34:48 -0500

Books have always found me in some of my hardest moments.

It may have been when I first started to read at the age of 9 due to my dyslexia, leaving my homeschool group for real school with real people, surviving high, barely graduating college, struggling through the web that is life postgraduate, or dealing with the depression waging war in my head. There was always a book that left such an imprint on me that I magically kept going. These are a few of mine.

I haven’t done this in a while. I haven’t blogged or written or even thought about reading a book in a little over 3 years. There’s a lot of reasons for that. I guess in the simplest way you could just blanket it all and say I was depressed. Books made me happy so if I was sad I would read them. Depression makes you want to stay sad and makes you want to live in this world where you don’t deserve to be happy. It eats at your self-esteem and makes everything you once enjoyed feel sour.

I lived in that sadness for a long time because I didn’t want to get out of it. I deleted my existence from the internet. I erased friendships I had forged over years. I gave away hundreds of my beloved books. I didn’t feel up to the task of ever reading them again and I never really felt like I would.

I think really what happens when you blog about the thing you love is that it becomes more of a job. You put work and hours into what you write, say, and post. You have to or otherwise, you’re just speaking to the empty internet.

Honestly, I can’t tell you when it started to change. I can’t lie and say I went to therapy, which I still should do, or say that someone finally convinced me to read again. I was just going on a trip out of the country and needed something to do. We didn’t have internet so I’d be lost without my endless newsfeed scrolls. I downloaded a book because the book art was pretty and I devoured it. I read the first book in a little over 5 hours of our trip before we even reached our destination. I took more time to read the second book and I’m taking my time with the third currently.

I write this to say that life never ever goes as planned and I think that’s a good thing. I also must add that I am in no way “better” or “cured”. I’ve come to a place where I accept myself depression and all. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the time I’ve been away. I’ve also learned that I miss this. I miss talking to the internet and I’ve missed all the bookish/non-bookish friends I made. So welcome back to me. I’ll be blogging and posting here again. I’ve got a new fancy Twitter and Goodreads accounts also. I feel like I’ve been out of the loop for so long. Somone tell me what I should read that’s been released in the last few years.

TLDR: I’m back to blogging. Hey, hi, hello! Tell me what I should read since I’ve been gone for such a long time and tell me who I should follow!

How Novel

"I tended to spend too much time with my favorite things, loved them too hard until I wore them down...."

Books have always found me in some of my hardest moments.It may...