See, it does take a village! Of chihuahuas! 

It’s Project Runway, health food cycle: One day you’re in, the next day you’re out! (Bonus points if you can say that like Heidi Klum.) Food fads are a sad but true fact in the health and fitness industry. Science, and more importantly marketers, are always pimping the next Super Food. And sometimes that introduces us to some really awesome weird foods that we might not have otherwise tried. Chia seeds, quinoa and acai berries anyone? Many times these fads are duds. And then there are the few times where purportedly “healthy” foods are actually harming you. Check out my slideshow on Shape.com to see the full list of 6 Healthy Foods That Should Never Pass Your Lips but the one most surprising to me was – dun, dun, dun – agave nectar!

Long touted as an “all natural” and healthy alternative to sugar and artificial sweeteners, it turns out the agave nectar sold in stores, including “blue,” “natural,” and “organic” varieties, has more fructose than even high-fructose corn syrup and is far more processed than plain table sugar. If you’ve watched “Sugar: The Bitter Truth” then you’ll know that fructose taken out of fruit (where it occurs naturally) becomes a toxin when processed. While it’s true that agave nectar is lower on the glycemic index than other sweeteners, it’s no dietary friend but rather poison disguised as a health food. All of which really surprised me given the aura of “health” that surrounds it.

Any of you surprised to discover a food you thought was healthy, wasn’t? Have you ever tried a food fad??

Other things I wrote this week:

Fitness Trainers Reveal: The #1 Piece of Equipment I Swear By (which we already discussed on here but all my trainers are so darn adorable I had to give them a little more love!)

Are your birth control pills safe? (And the controversy rumbles on…)

Do you make your kids write thank you notes? (Or do you write them for them? Cough, cough, not that I’d know anything about that)

The #1 Thing Parents Wish People Understood About Their Child (Weirdly this got reposted on Yahoo and the comments are even crazier this time around. If that’s possible.)

Mom’s 10 Weirdest Tips for Saving Money

Is it harder having 1 child or 9? (One mom’s poignant answer may surprise you)

How parenting changes us: Jay-Z to stop using “bitch” (The day after I wrote this, news outlets said that it couldn’t be confirmed that he actually said this. Which I think kind of depresses me. You’d hope after a man has a daughter he’d stop calling women hos and bitches. Of course if being married to Beyonce didn’t turn him around I’m not sure how much hope there is for him.)

It was Friday the 13th! Do you have a mommy superstition?

Parenting Challenge: How do you get through the vending machine gauntlet? (I really love one company’s answer to this: H.U.M.A.N. vending only stocks healthy options in their machines plus they offer in-community health counseling as well as video tips that play on their machines. Advertising – it can be used for good too!)

Thanks to Turbo Jennie (who got it from Leah? Or Sara?) for the vid! Totally safe for work. In fact, this video should become the theme for your next office party. Awesome. Click through to see the video if you get this via e-mail or RSS.

Relaxation is such a personal thing. Some people get pedicures, others watch a show, still others crawl into the butt-end of a Dope Zebra and get all Party Rocker up in their backyard. Me? I read stuff. Not even fun stuff but non-fiction science-y stuff. I love it. But not everyone has the time or interest to read it all so here’s my book report. And in the interest of efficiency – I have a tendency to write reallly looong pooosts – I’m doing each report in three sentences. Enjoy! Or just enjoy the dope zebra. Whatever boot scoots your boogie.

Why Women Need Fat: How “Healthy” Food Makes Us Gain Excess Weight and the Surprising Solution to Losing It Forever* **

Gist: Processed food is bad for you – you may have heard? – but these evolutionary scientists have figured out that it’s because of the over abundance of Omega-6 fatty acids from corn, soybean, safflower and other processed oils. In addition they make a very compelling case for why women a) need to be fatter than men and b) need to be fatter than our current standard of beauty.

Best advice: Ditch the Omega-6′s in your diet by breaking up with processed foods and increase your intake of Omega-3 fats by adding fish, fish oil, walnuts and canola oil to your diet. Oh, and stop hating your thighs that touch – they’re why your kids are so smart.

Who should read it: Everyone! It’s awesome and the fact that the last 60 pages are nothing but dense citations make me trust it even more. Check out my post Women Are Supposed to be Fat for a more nuanced review.

Just 10 LBS: Easy Steps to Weighing What You Want (Finally) * **

Gist: I got to interview Brad Lamm for a Shape piece on Adderall abuse but his real expertise lies in helping people overcoming addictions of all kinds, especially to food. He presents a very thoughtful and loving way to lose weight.

Best advice: Don’t making loving yourself conditional upon losing weight. Love yourself first.

Who should read it: Anyone who is trying to lose weight in a healthy positive way and develop the life skills to keep it off. Also, be prepared to go slowly with this one – crash diet it’s not (and that’s a good thing!)

The Playful Brain: The Surprising Science of How Puzzles Improve Your Mind * **

Gist: Solving all kinds of puzzles helps your brain stay younger and healthier.

Best advice: Go beyond crosswords and Sudoku to challenge and strengthen different parts of your brain. I found myself skipping all the spatial puzzles (like those stupid matchstick puzzles they stick on every IQ test) and then I realized that’s because I’m super bad at them… which means I really need to do them to strengthen the spatial processing center in my brain. Gah.

Who should read it: Not for casual puzzle buffs just looking for a fun bathroom book but more for people really interested in the why and how – it really delves into the science.

The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness *

Gist: Focusing on the Eastern philosophy of mindfulness, this book takes you step by step through how to change your thoughts, actions and lifestyle to rewire your brain and make it more resilient when it comes to depression and other mood disorders.

Best advice: We are not at the mercy of our moods, we can change the way we think and consequently the way we feel. As a girl who has struggled most of my life with depression and anxiety, I found the message of this book to be both helpful and hopeful and it also made a lot of sense to me – although I’m still working on implementing it.

Who should read it: For anyone who struggles with “chronic unhappiness” this book is a game changer.

Eat Stop Eat 

Gist: Intermittent fasting guru Brad Pilon takes you through all the research supporting using fasting both as a diet and a healthy lifestyle tool. He advocates fasting (abstaining from all food and caloric beverages) for 1 – 2 days a week for 18-30 hour periods.

Best advice: Fasting gets a bad rap as being extreme but done properly (i.e. not in an eating disordered way) it is an immensely powerful tool for health. It’s also not as hard or scary as people think it will be.

Who should read it: Anyone who wants to know all the science behind IF and/or be convinced to try it. You don’t need the e-book to learn the technique, it’s simple: don’t eat or drink anything with calories for 24 hours.

Anything Goes Diet **

Gist: The subtitle of this e-book is “weight loss without the rules” and it’s kind of like Intuitive Eating but a little more in depth.

Best advice: I’ll admit I was surprised as I assumed it would be just another diet book saying what to eat and what not to eat but it’s really a sane system of tapping into what your body wants and needs. It’s not a quick-fix diet.

Who should read it: People who have started Intuitive Eating but maybe need a little more structure.

The Physique 57(R) Solution: The Groundbreaking 2-Week Plan for a Lean, Beautiful Body * **

Gist: This book is the basis of this month’s Experiment but it basically details and expands upon the Lotte Berk method of using ballet techniques as a workout program.

Best advice: Ballerinas are tough, don’t discount a workout that pretty much only uses body weight as resistance until you’ve tried it. It’s a long workout but we sure are sore afterward!

Who should read it: Anyone who was a ballerina growing up or ever wanted to be a ballerina although expect mainly barre work. There are no dance moves, sadly.

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption *

Bonus: This isn’t a health or fitness book but ohmygoodness is it amazing! It’s a true story and proves the saying that truth is stranger than fiction. I absolutely could not put it down. You’ll be surprised, impressed and inspired.

What good books have you read lately? Anyone have a favorite Internet meme to make me giggle??

*The link is an Amazon affiliate link. I figure since I went to the trouble of reviewing them, I’d love it if you used my link if you decide to purchase it! And for my local friends – you’re always welcome to borrow my copy!!

**I received a copy for free for review purposes

Tonight after a marvelously brutal interval class that involved jumping lunges, crouching push-ups and so many skaters that my I’d get an Apollo Ohno tattoo on my butt if it didn’t already hurt so much, a male friend gave me a grin and commented, “You sure are strong. For a girl.” Well, what do you say to that?

Five years ago: ”I’m strong, period.” I would have felt insulted and then challenged the guy to a weight-lifting duel. Indeed, one of my very first posts on this blog to ever cause some (minor) controversy was when I bragged I could match a male lifter in my weight class. Allison, the only Gym Buddy I had at the time, and I lifted some very heavy weights with very bad form and declared ourselves the winners. While I still give myself some points for chutzpah, today I cringe remembering that. And not just because at the time I didn’t understand why using a Smith machine was cheating. It’s because I wasn’t proud to be a girl. I didn’t want to be a man either, let’s be clear, but I saw my femininity as a weakness and I hated it when people pointed it out to me.

Three years ago: “Am I?” I would have felt accused and uncertain. I was pregnant, anxious, depressed and unable to keep up with a fraction of my old workouts. In addition, I have never felt more vulnerable in my whole life than during my pregnancies. Pregnancy for me is a scary thing. Not only do I have to protect myself with half my strength but I’m also 100% responsible for the little person growing inside me. And all the others hanging onto my skirt. Pregnancy, one of the experiences that can most define you as a girl, felt like weakness to me in so many ways.

One year ago: “Haha, I’m working on it.” I would have felt embarrassed. Jelly Bean was safely on the outside and thriving, I’d just weaned her and so finally had full custody of my body again, and was settled back into a consistent workout schedule. Unlike previous post-partum periods, this time I knew enough to know how much I didn’t know. I’d been down the lose-the-baby-weight-at-all-costs road before. I’d over exercised. I’d been orthorexic. I wasn’t sure exactly what the right way was to do things but I sure knew what the wrong way was. Plus, being just over 30 with five children made me feel like I’d lost the girl in me forever. Losing oneself may be the ultimate weakness.

So what did I say tonight?

The intervening years have, hopefully, given me a better vantage from which to view myself and reevaluate what exactly are my strengths and my weakness. I can tell you for sure that I no longer see being a girl as a weakness. I may not ever be able to lift as much weight as a man and that’s fine. Their bodies are built for strength but mine is built for efficiency – there is a reason that women typically outlive men. Nor do I still see my pregnancies as weak spots in my life. Indeed, when I remember the can’t-be-overstated excruciating pain of natural childbirth, I see true strength. I can even now see my uncertainty and embarrassment and past mistakes more charitably. I can’t learn if I don’t screw up, right?

But I do have real weaknesses yet. Some are physical: I’ve been around the fitness industry long enough to know that while I may be strong compared to a lady who doesn’t work out, in the realm of fit females I’m not particularly strong. Just like there will always be someone more beautiful, I’ve come to learn that there will always be someone stronger, faster, more flexible. Many more weaknesses are mental: I still fight my competitive nature. Depression and anxiety are held at bay through a fragile combination of medication, exercise, healthy food, supplements and sleep. I’m still bad at balance and moderation.

This is what I have learned: Merely possessing strengths does not make me strong nor does having weaknesses inherently make me weak. I’m as strong or as weak as I practice to be.

And so tonight I answered my friend, “I am. And proud of it.” Whether he meant it as a joke (which I’m 90% sure he did) or as an insult, it doesn’t change my answer. I am strong. I am a girl. And neither has much to do with my muscles.

How do you take “strong… for a girl”? How would you answer this? Has your perception of your gender changed as you’ve gotten older?

I was kind of rolling my eyes until I got to #9. That question will haunt me until my dying day.

“So I have a post idea for you,” a friend at the gym recently said to me. (Incidentally this friend is the only person I have ever seen do the Wicked Wiper in person and he can do like 15 of them. It’s crazy. The first time we saw him do it we all burst into spontaneous applause on the weight floor which was even more awkward considering we hadn’t introduced ourselves yet and so pretty much looked like total creepers.) Anyhow, I love love love it when people start with this sentence. Mostly because it can be finished in so many awesome ways. “…what’s the deal with coconut water?” (Good q! Still need to write this one!) “…who invented push-ups?” (Don’t know but if I ever meet them I’m going to sit on their back for added resistance.) and “…why don’t you write Jillian Michaels fan fiction?” (Didn’t know that was an actual thing but I find it weird to write fiction about real living people.)

But this time my friend finished it with “I’m so sick of my earphones falling out every three seconds when I’m working out! I’ve tried every type out there and I’ve never found a pair that will stay put. And I cannot workout without my tunes!” As a sweaty Betty myself, he had my instant sympathy. I didn’t even realize that I sweated out my ears until one long run outside where my ear buds fell out so many times I looked like I had an ear-cleaning tic shoving them back every few steps forcing me to finally remove my headband and put it over the top of my ears to hold them in. (This was not nearly as awkward as when I realized why wearing gray cotton yoga pants to TurboKick is a huge mistake. It was like a Rorschach ink blot test… on my lady bits.)  Anyhow, while I do like cleaning out my ears – heaven help me if I find a rogue Q-tip somewhere, it’s total eargasm time – I really don’t want to do it while I’m running.

The fitness industry has come up with myriad ways to solve this problem. First were the original headphones – you know, the kind that attached to your Sony Walkman strapped to your fanny pack? But the cheap plastic and foam never stayed put and covering your whole ear made the sweat even worse. Next were the “sport headphones” that had the plastic ear piece that wraps around the outside of your ear but, as my friend pointed out, they don’t work with his glasses. And I must have weirdly shaped ears because they never stayed put on mine either. Then came the tiny little ear buds that you stick in your ear – the better to permanently maim your hearing with! – and all the ways they can fall out, get tangled up and lose the leeeetle foam covering deep in your ear canal. I finally broke down and bought some hot pink Skullcandy ones with the interchangeable rubber tips. They were cuter but they still fell out of my ears when I got good and sweaty.

My Fave Piece of Fitness Equipment

I didn’t have a good answer for him at the time but I wanted one because, like the Gym Buddies will attest, I cannot run Tabata sprints without music. If I can hear myself sucking wind I slow down so my mp3 player is my must-have accessory. The universe heard my cries however and rained down earphones like manna. Actually: DB Logic mailed me a pair of their SPL2 earphones to try out for free. I adore them. ADORE. (And no they are not paying me for this post.) For two reasons:

1. The unique design has you place the earbuds “upside down” in your ears so that the thin cords run up over your ears. There is a little slider where they meet behind your head so you can tighten it up keeping the earphones tightly in place – seriously no slippage through a 3 mile run AND  Tabatas – and keeping the wires out of your way.

2. The SLP2 technology automatically limits the sound pressure to 85 decibels in your ears thereby preserving your hearing and preventing you from being that girl 5 treadmills down who you know freaking loves Eminem because you can hear every syllable from her earphones 20 feet away. Not saying I don’t appreciate that girl when I’ve forgotten my own music – except for the day she played non-stop Katy Perry – but I just don’t want to be that girl. Picking the music for the entire gym to listen to is a big responsibility is all I’m saying.

Plus, at $34.95 they’re not much more expensive than my Skullcandy ones and they also come in lots of fun colors and with interchangeable rubber tips to get the right fit.

Fit Pros’ Fave Piece of Fitness Equipment

While I may be manic about my music during a workout, everyone seems to have their one favorite fitness tool they can’t live without and who better to ask than people who make their living in the biz? Check out my slideshow on Shape.com to see what personal trainers and fitness instructors picked as their must-have tool. You need to read it just to see what Kirez Reynolds – CrossFit trainer extraordinaire – picked. When he first posted it on Facebook I thought he was just being a smart aleck but it turns out he was serious and has the photographic evidence to prove it. Seriously, he’s amazing.

What is YOUR Fave Piece of Exercise Equipment?

Do you have to turn around and go home if you forget the chest strap to your heart rate monitor? Do you love your interval timer so much that you refuse to wear it in your cleavage Zuzana-style so that your sweat won’t ruin it? Do you pack your TRX in your travel bag first even though the TSA will flag it just to ask you if you’re into bondage? Also, what’s your solution to the earphones-falling-out issue??

Fact: 70-75% of how you experience flavor is due to your sense of smell.

Anecdote: A friend told me about a friend (isn’t this how all good anecdotes start?) who had lost his sense of smell in an accident and consequently lost 20 pounds easy-peasey because, in my friend’s words, “Everything pretty much tasted the same. Brownies tasted like whole wheat bread so why not just eat the bread then?”

At the time my eating disorder – one of several, is there such a thing as multiple personality disorder for EDs? – was in full swing and I fantasized about losing my sense of smell. Wouldn’t that be awesome?! I’d never have to struggle with my weight again! Of course I’d never be able to luxuriate in the smell of my baby’s hair fresh out of a bath or inhale a lilac so hard the petals shoot up my nose. And what’s Christmas without my homemade orange-cinnamon potpourri? Then I realized that while I really wouldn’t miss brownies much – they’re just kind of meh for me – I’d definitely miss being able to appreciate a fragrant curry or an almond sugar cookie.

As anyone who has ever had a really wicked head cold knows, your nose is integral to both the function and pleasure of eating. And understanding how taste and smell interact can help you use them to your advantage says several new research studies. Two main opposing theories have emerged.

Calories Without Flavor

I was first intrigued by this idea when I came across The Shangri-La Diet: The No Hunger Eat Anything Weight-Loss Plan (aff) by Seth Roberts. While I’m not looking to diet or lose weight right now (I promise! No worries!), I am fascinated by the principle behind it, mostly because it is exactly the opposite of everything diet gurus normally advise. And if I learned anything from being an angsty goth teen it’s that I really love it when people buck conventional wisdom. You know, like how I was totally into The Cure and Depeche Mode because I really, like, got them you know, and not, like, all those poseurs who went to The Cure concert and could only sing along to “Friday I’m in Love.” Sure we all bought our mass-merch t-shirts at the same stands in the same huge arena but at least I made sure to buy the one that the least people got. Losers.

Where was I? Yes, it all goes back to smell. Not only is smell a huge part of taste but apparently it’s also “the most powerful of all the five senses” (although how they measure that I’m not sure and also, there are way more than five senses). Roberts contends through a theory of evolutionary biology that I won’t totally go into here that one way our bodies recognize a time of consistent access to food is by taking in a certain amount of flavorless calories. Research has long shown us that people who yo-yo diet tend to end up weighing more than people who don’t diet at all and it’s supposed that this is because the body experiences the diets as famines and therefore feels compelled to inhale everything in sight when not dieting to prepare for the next famine.

And yet to lose weight, one must reduce their caloric intake without triggering these eat-or-die hormonal landmines. Roberts’ solution to this dilemma is to ingest a certain number of calories – twice your body weight – in flavorless calories per day. The flavorless calories are supposed to emulate the diet that people would eat in a time of neither feast nor famine, just plain-jane eating. Which sounds oddly cannibalistic now that I type that out. Anyhow, the body lowers its internal set point for body weight when it realizes it has plenty of calories and doesn’t need to store a great excess. To achieve this he recommends using extra light (not extra virgin) olive oil and taking it in the middle of a “flavor-free” two-hour window. Although he says you can use any oil as long as you can’t smell it. A lot of Shangri-La dieters practice “nose clipping” which is simply eating a certain amount of your daily calories with your nose clipped shut so that you can’t smell them and therefore your body essentially experiences them as flavorless.

In a world where every diet recommends eating as few calories with as much taste as possible – the whole idea behind artificial sweeteners, yes? – this is a completely novel approach. And based on the few blog reports I’ve read and people on his message boards it works very well for quite a lot of people. As much as I love me some anecdotal evidence, I’d have to see some actual research to back up Roberts’ theory to be sold on this idea.

Flavor Without Calories

On the other hand, we have the more traditional approach of trying to get the most flavor for your caloric buck. When Vaportrim e-mailed me about trying their flavor sticks – scent-filled plastic sticks that look like cigarettes as imagined by Zebra gum – I’ll admit I agreed to try them mostly for the entertainment factor. How hilarious would it be, I thought, to “smoke” my cravings for sweets away? Unfortunately the smoking aspect got unfunny really fast when I watched my kids sucking on my sample sticks and practicing blowing smoke rings (you exhale water vapor that looks like smoke) at each other. I ripped them out of their tiny hands and took up puffing them while hiding out on my back deck, reminding me uncomfortably of my grandmother in her two-pack days. (Not to be confused with Nana’s Tupac days because those were sheer awesome.)

Still, the idea of sniffing a scent to trick your brain into feeling sated intrigued me. There is a lot of research showing that people who smell certain scents feel a lessening of cravings and therefore lose weight. One study even showed that people who lose their sense of smell generally gain weight from eating too much in an effort to find the satiety they experienced when they could smell (which I suppose blows my friend-of-a-friend anecdote to pieces).

I tried out the peppermint and pina colada “flavors”. I can’t say they did much for me. I think the first problem was that they didn’t smell how I expected them to smell. Specifically, the pina colada one smelled like a Strawberry Shortcake doll I had growing up and therefore reminded me of chewing on plastic hair and picking my nose instead of a delicious dessert. Although we’ve already established that I’m probably hypersensitive to smell compared to other people. Second, I couldn’t get past the whole smoking feel of it. The models on the site even hold the sticks like one would normally hold a cigarette (albeit someone in the Lollipop Guild). Third, the reviews on the site are… suspect, at best. As far as I could tell they didn’t reduce my cravings at all although perhaps since I’m not trying to lose weight, I was a bad test subject? Or perhaps this particular method just doesn’t work for my body – I tried Sensa, a product based on similar principles, twice (years ago) and it never worked for me either.

Which Way Works?

Does smell make you crave more food or does it make you feel full? Does the type of smell matter? Does the type of food being eaten matter? Do you eat less when you have a head cold because you can’t smell your food or because you feel sick? Does puffing on a Vaportrim stick help some people lose weight because of the scent or because it distracts them from their craving? Does Schrodinger’s cat nose-clip?? I have no idea. So many questions left but I find the research and theories behind each way very interesting and they both make sense in their own way.

What have you noticed about your sense of smell as related to your taste? Any of you have experience with either of these theories and/or products? Anyone else super sensitive to smells? I worked at Bath & Body Works for a while in college and would get so overwhelmed by all the heavy scents that I’d have breathe into my sleeve to get a break.

Running in a sauna suit? A $425 cleanse? Bringing your personal chef to cook for you at restaurants because you can’t trust the food? Stars, they really are just like us! Sorta! While I’ll never have a personal chef (but neither will I have people with telephoto lenses trying to take pictures of me bending over in a swimsuit, so there’s that), when it comes to making diet and fitness mistakes, it turns out celebrities are just like the rest of us. This week I did a slideshow for Shape.com highlighting some of the bad advice certain A-listers are spewing of late. Not to mock them – heaven knows I’ve made so many mistakes in the name of “health” that I could write a book about them (oh wait, I DID) – but because it makes me feel better to know everyone struggles with trying to figure this whole healthy living thing out. And because it made me laugh out loud when Serena Williams said, “I don’t like anything physical. If it involves sitting down or shopping, I’m excellent at it.” Honesty for the win!

But my favorite quote was from Katherine Heigel, because it is such a perfect example of how no woman, no matter how talented or beautiful, escapes the comparing curse:

“On comparing herself to other stars, Katherine Heigl recently said she doesn’t “have the discipline to work out 2 hours a day like Jennifer Aniston and doesn’t want to eat packaged meals like Jessica Alba.” She adds, “It’s only now that I realize how hard those girls work for their bodies, and what level of commitment they make to do that. I’m too lazy and I like food and I like my free time too much to spend it working out!”

While we admire Heigl for being true to herself and her natural body shape, she shows the danger of comparing ourselves to other women. Eating properly and exercising are good for you in so many ways, even if they never make you look like Aniston or Alba.” (May I say it feels weird to put my own quote in block quotes??)

To read the rest: 7 Celebrity Health Tips That Are Anything But Healthy

On the other end of the spectrum, I got to do an awesome slideshow featuring some of my fave bloggers (YOU GUYS!) and what they carry in their gym bag. Due to some technical difficulties (Dear Editor, the Internet ate my e-mail) it’s taken a couple of months to finally get posted but it’s now live on Shape.  Go check out MizFit, Cranky Fitness, Mama Sweat, Cort the Sport, Ulli, All Health Breaks Loose, Bikini or Bust, Man Bicep, Go Tami Go, Truth 2 Being Fit, and TGI Paleo and see what these fit ladies are hiding in their gym bags! (Hint: one of them has 7 tubes of lip gloss!)

As a mom, I loved Mama Sweat/Kara’s description of her bag:

“Like most moms with un-potty-trained children, the must-haves include diapers, wipes, changing pad, sippy cup, and emergency snack (for both of us). I also keep everything I would need if I get the opportunity to shower (which rarely happens). I also want to be prepared for any workout, because I never know how I’ll feel once I walk in the door. So you’ll find everything from swim goggles to cycling shoes in my bag, and another important item: an extra sports bra. You never know.”

And the picture is hilarious as she’s holding her baby, her gym bag and possibly the dog too.

To read the rest: Fitness Bloggers Reveal: What’s in my gym bag

All of which made me think about where we get our health advice from. Obviously straight from the scientists and researchers would be ideal but let’s be honest, that often takes more time and money than most of us have. (And also more brain cells than I have left over after spending 14 straight hours with tiny tyrants who think nothing of peeling 4 pounds of oranges and shoving the peels in our new couch so I wouldn’t find them. Of course they overlooked the Hansel & Gretel-esque trail of partially chewed orange segments pointing like a guilty arrow at their feet.) The next level up would be sites like MSN Health or WebMD but they lack a certain charm. And then we have bloggers. Bloggers often get a lot of flack for giving advice that we are either unqualified to give or is just outright bad – which is exactly why I try never to give advice. But I tend to think of blogging as the modern-day equivalent of the backyard fence – it may not be the most accurate but it’s the most accessible and there’s something to be said for anecdotal evidence.

And the final tier of information is your mother. In case you don’t remember, your mother basically out-ranks everyone and you should always listen to her advice, mostly because she can tell when you’re getting a cold just by hearing you on the phone.

What sources do you trust for your health and fitness advice? What’s the most heinous piece of advice you’ve ever heard a celeb/writer/blogger give (We’ll leave your mother out of this)?

Quick note: since I switched to my new site there have always been a few people who have had problems with my site being slow to load or the comment section being possessed by demons. Neither me nor my web guy have been able to figure out why but Dr. J and Jody both recently informed me that their problems were resolved when they switched from using Internet Explorer as their browser to using Google Chrome. Which honestly might be a good decision regardless of my website. It’s generally faster all around, more secure and has better privacy options than other browsers. And it got 5 stars from CNET.com. Anyhow, not trying to plug Google or whatever but thought this might help some of you!

Click here to download Chrome.

“In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The police who investigate the crime and the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders.” And Batman. There’s always room for Batman. DUN-DUN!

Blood spatters. Rape kits. Horrific crimes balanced out by the most humane cops I’ve ever not met. (I’ve actually had dreams where I’m talking to Olivia Benson/Mariska Hargitay.) Plots twisted so far beyond reality that “ripped from the headlines” is more a threat than a promise. There’s a lot to recommend Law & Order: SVU, really.

And yet: “Why are you watching that?!” my husband asked me about ten times. “You know that show gives you nightmares.” He’s right. In fact, I’ve told him not to let me watch it. I didn’t answer him: “I already have the nightmares. Now I want the company.” So here I sit watching reruns back to back. It’s why I couldn’t write a (decent) post tonight – not because I have nothing to say but because I have too much – all caught up in how worse it could have been. And wasn’t. But was bad enough. It was, right?

In the past when I went on these seeking-for-sympathy media binges, I had no idea why I was doing it. I scared myself with this insatiable desire to think the unthinkable and to see how others came out of it. Or didn’t. Especially because normally I can’t abide even reading about these types of things much less watching them. But this time, 7 years older, I’m less surprised and not scared at all. I’ve learned that assault victims deal with things in a myriad of different ways and this just happens to be part of my process. And a latter part, at that.

When I decided (or, rather, realized) several weeks ago that I couldn’t fight the memories but had to just ride them out, that meant I had to let myself go through the whole process. I finished the worst of it two weeks ago and so this darkness-seeking I now know is finite. And necessary. And I don’t need to be afraid of it. It means I’m healing. Wanting to hear other people’s stories, even fictionalized, means I’m doing better at listening to my own.

Some things we do and we have no idea why. Some things we do and only we know why.

The question I’m asking myself now is about resiliency. Specifically, am I lacking it because I’m traumatized by something that so many other women have experienced, and worse, and yet do not seem to be as affected by it as I am? Or do I have it in spades because no matter how many times it knocks me over, I keep getting up? I know that I’m trying really really hard to learn from it, to be better, to do better. I know that I want to be resilient. But is that a trait that is born or made?

I’m hoping it’s the latter. I’ve always thought of myself as a brittle person. I don’t like surprises. I don’t like change. (Except in my workouts but even those are just variations on a theme.) I don’t know how to be water. But maybe I’m doing better than I thought. I wish I could ask Detective Benson. She’s always got all the answers – in 60 minutes or less. Maybe that’s why I keep watching.

Do you consider yourself to be a resilient person? Any tips on how to cultivate resiliency? And any thoughts about Rihanna going back to Chris Brown? That’s been on my mind all day but I can’t seem to get further than “When you think you’re broken, sometimes the thing that feels the safest is to return to the one who broke you. Because at least they understand the damage and aren’t afraid of it.”  but then I don’t know her from anyone. Is Rihanna resilient or insane? Although maybe this explains it? Some things we do and we have no idea why. Some things we do and only we know why. (Also, some things are not my business. Duly noted.)

*I know this type of post bothers some of you and for that I’m both sympathetic and sorry. So if you are wondering when these posts are going to end, I assure you it won’t be much longer. Perhaps this will be the last one. At least for a long while. This writing, it’s part of my process too.

Need something fluffier? Try my new series for Shape “Your Brain On…”

Your Brain on Exercise

Your Brain on Stress

Your Brain on Sex

Just like performing three posthumous miracles will get you sainted in Catholic circles, there is a litmus test to determine true health nuts. While this won’t get you a cathedral named in your honor (but neither will you have to be martyred, so there is that) you will get a metaphorical halo and intestines of burnished steel. What is this criteria upon which much righteous indignation is predicated? Whole grains of course! One’s willingness to replace all their favorite foodstuffs with 100% whole grains is how you separate the healthy wheat from the diabetes-courting chaff.

I jest. But only a little bit. I do believe that the number one get-healthy tip out there goes something like this: “Ditch all your ‘white’ foods and stock up on whole grains.” White rice becomes brown rice, white pasta becomes whole wheat pasta, white sugar becomes brown sugar. And of course white flour, the ultimate sinner, becomes whole wheat flour. (Or almond, rye, rice coconut, oat, buckwheat, millet, spelt or any of the myriad other flours depending on whether or not you eat grains, are gluten intolerant or just enjoy living on the edge by filling those wimpy plastic bags at the bulk bins. )

But what’s that you say? White flour tastes so much better than whole wheat flour? Next thing I know you’ll be telling me brown sugar isn’t really a health food! (You know isn’t any healthier than white sugar, right?)

I’m not knocking whole grains. I love them. I eat a ton of them. But when it comes to certain baked goods, I have discovered through much trial and (mostly) error that there are some you just can’t make with whole wheat flour. For instance, most chocolate things like brownies and chocolate cupcakes will hide a myriad of healthy additives – everything from whole wheat flour to grated zucchini to pinto beans disappears into that dark oblivion without a palatable trace. The problem comes when you need to cook things with a lighter texture. Like, say, angel food cake. This deceptively named dessert happens to be my most favorite dessert ever when topped with fresh strawberries, toasted almonds and real whipped cream. But it also is made up of pretty much only three ingredients – white flour, white sugar and egg whites (themed cake!) – only one of which has any nutritional value. So of course I tried healthify it by swapping out the flour for whole wheat.

It was a culinary disaster such that angels everywhere hung their halos in shame. I wish I had a picture, it was that awful. (It was way worse than The Turd.)

So you will understand why during a recent trip to Costco this caught my eye:

I spent 20 minutes scrutinizing the package for clues as to what kind of Monsanto demon spawn had produced this anomaly. The ingredient list was no help; it just said “wheat.” The nutritional facts looked pretty close to whole wheat too. My only clue was the superlative-laced brand name “Ultragrain.”

I bought it. (Incidentally, this was not the only impulse purchase I made that day. I also came home with a 2-lb tub of kimchi. Boy howdy do I love my fermented cabbage but not even I can eat 2 pounds of stinky bok choy and chilis. It’s currently residing in our garage thanks to it’s, er, unique scent that was permeating my fridge.) When I got home, I pulled out my newly acquired mini-muffin pans (I love you mom!) and opened up my family recipe book to another dessert I have never been able to successfully healthify: poppy seed bread.

Sure you’d think that anything with the word “seed” in the title would be good for you but this bread is pretty much just glorified white almond cake with little black polka dots of poppy seeds for panache. I adore it. I measured out the flour:

The picture isn’t great (this is another reason why I am not a food blogger) but it is only a shade or two darker than regular white flour and the texture is almost the same. If I weren’t paying close attention – which I usually don’t when I cook (and I wonder why I’m so bad at it!) – I’d think it was white flour. After mixing in the rest of the ingredients and tasting the batter several times – nummy! – I baked them for 7 minutes and voila! – muffins:

They looked like the real deal. My taste testers gave them two thumbs up as well:

But what about the nutrition? Regular whole wheat flour has 101 calories, 0.5g fat, 22g carbs, and 4g of protein per 1/4 cup. “Ultragrain” flour has, well, as you can see – it’s exactly the same!

I’m still not exactly sure what this stuff is. It tastes good and therefore I fear it. The Ultragrain website (yes, a flour has its own website) doesn’t really explain it – is it a special breed of wheat? genetically modified? – other than to say that “The Ultragrain milling process retains the fiber, protein, vitamins, minerals and other phytonutrients concentrated within the bran and germ, while yielding whole grain wheat flour with a taste, ultrasmooth texture and appearance more similar to traditional refined white flour.” So I guess they just grind it up smaller? I guess??

Any of you use this stuff? Is it as cool as it sounds or do you fear, like me, that it is Frankenfood? Do you swap out white flour for whole wheat in every recipe? Which type of flour do you most often cook with?

And for those of you that are interested, here’s my healthed-up-but-still-yummy

Healthy-ish Poppy Seed Muffin recipe:
Ingredients

I never thought I’d say this but this is one Experiment that we definitely needed push-up bras for! Hard to “shimmy” when you’ve got a high-impact sports bra on! (Also: to the commenter who asked me several posts ago if I match my sports bra to my activity, here’s your answer!)

You know those women who you just can’t take your eyes off when they move? They may not be the most beautiful person in the room nor the most talented – although sometimes they’re all that too – but there’s just something about the way they inhabit their skin that is so magnetic. Yeah, that’s not me. I have spent most of my life being awkward to the point of pain and most of the time I have no idea where my limbs are in relation to the rest of me, as evidenced by my many varied bruises.

This innate awkwardness is bad enough in real life but it shows up on film even worse. Because I’m always waiting for it to betray me at the worst possible moment, I end up being very unconfident in my body. And I also think that this obvious lack of self confidence is a big reason why I ended up in an abusive relationship in college and was sexually assaulted. People who aren’t confident in themselves are more easily manipulated and controlled and looking back I can see that now with painful clarity. Needles to say I’ve spent a good portion of my life wishing that I were otherwise and so I’ve gleaned a few things about how to learn body confidence for those of us who weren’t born with it.

1. Fake it ’till you make it. Smiling even when I’m nervous is a big one. Research has shown that smiling, even for no apparent reason, can make you feel happier. And happy people radiate confidence. (Plus smiling makes you look younger and more trustworthy, useful for those times when you want to rob a Hello Kitty store.)

2. Posture is everything. Learning to tuck my chin back (but not so much that I have double chins) and up, rolling my shoulders back and down and tucking my pelvis so that my back is not arched makes a big difference in how confident I am. Standing with good posture makes me feel taller, prettier (that hip tuck does wonders for flattening your tummy!) and stronger.

3. Sexy is not in the eye of the beholder but in the mind of the behold-ee (yeah, that’s super catchy. Still working on it.) Not that everyone needs to or even wants to be sexy all the time but it took me a long time to realize that a lot of being seen as sexy is knowing that you are. Whether this is a catch-22 or a paradigm shift for me totally depends on the day.

4. Try new things. Sure you might suck! But you also never know what you’ll be good at!

It was with all this in mind that I asked (read: begged) my friend Lindsey to teach me how to belly dance. Over the years I’ve heard so many great things about how it’s a great female bonding experience, it’s fun, it’s a good workout and it can help you become more comfortable with your body and all it’s quirks. (Although now that I’ve typed that out I realize that I also just described shopping for prom dresses.) And today I finally got to live out this dream for a belly dancing mini-experiment. It did not disappoint.

Lindsey started out by telling us a little about the history of belly dancing. Apparently it is a form of dance that has been around since the 14th century and has been used both as old-fashioned stripping and as a way for women to bond with each other apart from the male gaze. Obviously we were focusing more on the latter definition. Then we moved on to the different moves at which point I discovered that I can’t body roll to save my life. Here’s Lindsey demo’ing what it should look like:

Isn’t she beautiful? Gym Buddies Megan and Daria picked it up quickly while I did a version that looked like a cross between The Robot and a cat coughing up a hairball. I’m working on it.

Then Lindsey taught us a little routine. Here it is! (Note: don’t expect much out of the rest of us as this was our first time even attempting belly dancing but Lindsey is sure fun to watch! Check out her head isolations. It’s “Walk like an Egyptian” but without the giant hair and hoop earrings.

Clearly the ululating at the end was our fave part! You know you want to try it now!

So how did it stack up? As a workout it was a lot of fun and provided some good cardio. The warm up had us all breathing hard and pulling off our sweatshirts (see, there’s the stripping element!). And holding my arms up that long really burned in my shoulders. It wasn’t super intense but then it’s not supposed to be. As a girl-bonding experience it was a freaking riot! We laughed so hard and I think we were all able to let go and dance in a less inhibited way than if we’d had men present or an audience. And did it give me more body confidence? I can see how it would, if I kept at it. Unfortunately one class isn’t enough to undo years of programming but I really enjoyed it and would jump at the chance to try it again.

Also, the jingly hip thingie is awesome and I want one so bad. It made me feel sexier just tying it on. I would wear that thing everywhere! (P.S. my white sport socks make this outfit.)

Have you ever tried belly dancing? How body confident are you? Do you have any tips for me on increasing body confidence?