This week, on a rare full day off, I took the kids to our local science centre, Science World.  It is a crazy place, full of experiments, presentations, activity centres and displays.  It’s also full of kids!  We had a great time exploring and watching the fascinating, and, at times, hilarious, science show.  When it came time for the end of the day (and our parking was running out!), I rushed the kids out – wanting to give them the last few minutes to soak up the fun.

As we’re rushing to the car (in the pouring rain – another motivator), my son stops and throws this hammer down.

Mommy, why are you ALWAYS rushing me!  It’s always, hurry, hurry, hurry.  I have things to do, and you’re always rushing me.  Why do we always have to be so fast!?

The words you hear about, and dread, and assume (of course) that you are above.  And, I so knew he was right.  I am always rushing him.  To be fair, he is pokey.  I mean, give him an inch, and he will take a mile.  He loves to explore.  He’s fascinated by everything.  I mean, everything.  And he wants to take it all in.  Yesterday, it was a giant marble run.  Another day it might be a bus driving by.  Or a fascinating cloud.  Or, tonight, a game of fishing boat.  With him, there is always something to stop and do.

So, if you have a schedule, it is often hard to keep.

But, no excuses.  I know, I’m still in the wrong on this one.  Because, of course, we all of have to get things done.  But, my son shouldn’t have to feel rushed.  I should be able to give more lead time.  Plan better.  Plan less.

One of the major reasons we chose to homeschool was precisely to avoid moments just like this.  To give ourselves more time.  More wiggle room.  More time to stargaze, or marble gaze, or whatever.  And, in my mind, we are free from a lot of scheduling.  No having to get up every morning for school (although many mornings we still get up to take Mommy or Daddy to work).  No rushing from school to one activity, and another.  No cramming it all in on the weekends.

And, yet, somehow, we are still rushed.  So, here we are.  I’ll be the first to admit it.  We have a busy week.  We have a busy weekend.  Mom and Dad work (while one is working, the other is at home, homeschooling / living – for the most part).  And, yes, Dylan is enrolled in classes.  Art, dance, music, outdoor school one morning a week.  So, it’s not as if we stay home all day and do nothing.

Two thoughts on this…

1. I still can’t imagine adding full-time school to the mix.  My poor child (and my self) would be on overload.  We’d probably implode.  Or we’d cut down on everything else, and he’d miss out on the cool enrichment activities that he enjoys so much.  Not to mention playtime.  I’m thankful we aren’t there.

2. I’ve got to admit, we’re still askew.  If my son is asking for less rush, then he’s feeling it.  And, if he’s feeling it, then something isn’t right.  So, time to either cut down, or get better at time management.

I know.  A lot of homeschoolers are in the same boat.  We choose to homeschool, at least in part, to give ourselves more time.  I wonder, then, how many of us simply replace that time with other things?  Filling our days, when we could be filling our souls with quiet or peaceful play?  Is it hyper vigilance we need, or simply a bit of prioritizing?  Or even just a bit of warning for our children?  Are we fooling ourselves to think we are free from the rushing onslaught of  modern daily life?

How many of you strike this balance?  Do you feel grounded?  Rushed?  I’d love to know how other working and homeschooling moms feel about this one.  Can you find a middle ground?  Or, for you, is it more about wisely spending the time you do have?  And approaching even the hurried moments with a calmer frame of mind?

Two months into Kindergarten, and we’re still working on it.  I suppose that should be no surprise.  It’s a new and wild lifestyle we’ve entered.  And there is no handbook.  But, from here out, I’m going to be more mindful that we are, truly, doing the best we can.  So, my explorer can explore.  Just a little more.

Well, my children aren’t perfect.  Although I’d love to believe they are, they do have their guises.  As does everyone.  As do I.  I always thought knowing that made me a better parent.  Being able to see their strengths and weaknesses honestly.  And, it is helpful.  But, in a far more powerful way, I have come to realize that having me in their court, is okay.  It’s good.  In fact, it’s great.

I don’ think my kids are perfect, but I do see them as beautiful, amazing, deep and real human beings.  Little human beings, with the needs of developing people, but human beings.  Who deserve to be treated as such.  And, this is where “behaviour parenting” really irks me.  I know my children aren’t the most well-behaved.  They tend to be a little wild.  A little free-spirited.  And, sometimes, it makes them difficult to reign in.  Sometimes, it makes us challenging to be around (sometimes they are perfect angels, too, of course).  But, I don’t think I’d change that.  I really don’t.

You see, I believe that allowing them to ask questions, speak their mind, and follow their natural curiosities is a good thing.  I want to support that.  I believe that going against the grain, sometimes, will serve them well, in the end.  I want to honour their interests, their desires and their hearts.  What I see, too often, are parents that want their children to behave.  To be presentable.  To be easy to take places.  Children that “play by themselves” and “sleep all night” and are “socialized” (read: will sit quietly in a classroom).  Children that are self-sufficient.

I want my children to be self-sufficient, too.  I want them to be confident that they can accomplish things on their own.  I want them to take pride in their abilities.  But, I don’t want them to be convenient.  And I don’t want to parent them based on the behaviours I want to them display.

Sure, I’ve dabbled in behaviour-based parenting.  I’ve gotten frustrated, and even angry, when I know my kids are doing something inconvenient.  Something I’d rather they not be doing.  Something dangerous, or thoughtless, or – let’s see – loud?!  But, the more I focus on correcting their behaviour, the less I become the parent that I want to be.

When I focus on behaviour, I objectify my children.  They aren’t my children, they are the source of a poor behaviour.  When I see them as such (consciously or unconsciously) I cease to see them as human beings with a complex set of emotions and needs.  I cease to see them as human beings in need of respect.

I refuse to treat my children as creatures that don’t deserve respect.  I refuse to treat them as beings that need to be controlled.

I want to guide them.  Yes.  But, I also want to listen to them.  To hear them, and to serve them.  To be there for them, and to help them grow into the human beings they were meant to be.

When I think of them this way, I don’t think of their behaviour.  I think of their needs.  I think of their hearts and their minds.  I approach parenting from a much more compassionate place.

And that is the place where I want to dwell.

I’d love to know your thoughts on behaviour-based parenting?  Does it work for you?  Do you find you can focus on behaviour and still have compassion for your kids?

1. Connection

Being a blogger means you are automatically connected to people.  Like-minded people are treats to find, but so are those with opposing viewpoints.  Getting involved in the blogging community broadens your perspective, and connects you with real people.  And you’re not limited to those in your immediate vicinity.

2. Accountability

Whether you write a personal blog, a homeschooling blog, or something in between, writing about your journey, or your passions, is an amazing way to keep yourself accountable. When I look back on what we’ve done this year (by reading over my blog entries) I am amazed.  We’ve done a ton of learning!  Getting something down is a great way to prove to yourself that you and your kids really have been learning.

3. Memories

Not just an academic record, a blog can be a record of your personal learning journey.  It can bring back sweet memories, and become, well, what it is – an online journal.  If you’re reticent to start journaling, blogging might actually be a more fun, and more interactive way to accomplish the same thing.  I know, for me, if I hadn’t been blogging about what we’ve been up to, half of it would be long forgotten by now.

4. Photo Journaling

Because I blog a lot, I always have a reason to bring my camera with me.  There are so many times I have taken photographs of our daily learning, knowing I might use them in a future article.  I am so thankful that I have these photos as a record of our learning, and as a way to see my children grow.  The really fun bonus is that I get to develop my photography skills at the same time!  Which brings me to…

5. Learning

Blogging is learned skill.  It can seem intimidating at the outset, but it is so great when you demystify the process, by learning the ins and outs of the blogosphere.  While your kids are learning at rapid-fire pace, you, as a blogger, are learning right along with them.  And you’re also developing a whole host of skills (writing, photography, computer literacy etc).

6. Fun & Encouragement

Blogging is fun.  It’s inspiring.  It’s amazing to feel connected to the world beyond your front door.

Whether you blog for yourself, or hope to build a community, blogging can be a journey that benefits a homeschooling family in a multitude of ways.  So, if you’re dabbling with the idea, I’d say, go ahead and try it!  You haven’t got a lot to lose, and you might be surprised by just how much you like it.

P.S. Welcome to summer, everyone!

As a family, we went back and forth on the decision of whether to enrol our son in a distributed learning organization, or simply, go it on our own.  Here in British Columbia, families have the choice: register or enroll.  If you register, you just let someone (the Ministry of Education) know you are homeschooling, and then you do your thing.  If you enroll, you choose between a myriad of “schools” that oversee your learning (read reporting), provide you with planning help, and a stipend from the government ($1000 / year is usual).

Our family has a very free approach to learning – not a lot of structure, and a lot of child and interest-led learning.  We all contribute to what we are going to do in any given week, and we try to listen to and accommodate our children’s curiosities whenever possible (which is most of the time).  Mostly, we read together a lot, and play together a lot.  We tell stories.  We paint.  We hike and take photographs.  We garden.  We cook.  We talk.  And, we listen.

This approach to learning has worked for us, so far.  My son, at 4.5, is knowledgeable about all kinds of things (including his letters and numbers), and has an incredibly inquisitive mind, and sociable personality.  I’d say we learn the way we do because of him, more so than the other way around, but it’s probably a bit of both.  As for Kindergarten, we wanted to be sure we were enrolling him with an organization that matched our learning values, if we went that route.

To that end, we’ve chosen to enroll him with an organization called SelfDesign: a proponent of child-led learning, with a lovely, flexible structure.  Yes, we have to report every week or two, but it will be short, and will consist of, well, just whatever it is that we do.  With Self Design, we will design a learning plan for the year (as specific as we want it to be, or not), with the input of a learning consultant, ourselves, and our son.  And we’ll receive a stipend to put towards classes, curriculum materials or whatever else we think will support his learning.

Do I think that I need someone to oversee our learning?  Absolutely not.  Do I think that I am the only one with ideas and input that would be worthy of considering while home learning with my son?  Of course not.

I think it will be fun to have a learning consultant.  I’m sure they’ll give me ideas and feedback on things I haven’t thought of.  And, although we are very unstructured in what we do, I do love to record our learning, for my own sake, as well as my child’s.  Yes, I like to write.  So, I don’t think I will find the reporting burdensome.

Mostly, I am excited to be crossing a new bridge together.  I don’t envision our year – which “officially” starts in September, but never really starts or ends – to be significantly different from what we do now.  Because we are always exploring new things.  But, as a person who likes to mark milestones, and finds symbolism and beauty in celebrating the seasons of life, I am excited to mark the start of Kindergarten with my son.

I’d love to know what you think of your state or provincial homeschooling regulations.  Do they work for you?  Are they too constraining?  If your child is enrolled in BC, how do you enjoy it?

Once again, thanks for reading.  The Homeschool Co-op’s sabbatical is over, although look for some changes in the way we do things in the next few months, as we ease back in.  We’re aiming for a more streamlined approach, in keeping with what our readers use and desire most.  A heartfelt congratulations to those finishing up your schooling year, and a welcome to our new subscribers!

All the best,

Kelly @ The Homeschool Co-op

There is a growing body of recent non-fiction work that takes a single subject, and really delves into it, from a lifestyle and research perpective.  Richard Louv’s Last Child in the Woods, and Daniel Pink’s Drive are two that come to mind.  Another is Carl Honore’s, In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed.

I  read this book about a month ago, and was immediately drawn in.  It seemed to be exactly what I needed, at exactly the right time.  Honore makes a solid case for embracing slow in our everyday lives.  That is, taking time for everything, and, in turn savouring more of life.  From slow parenting, to slow food, to slow cities, Honore profiles the growing slow movement around the world.

Part informative, part research, part cautionary tale, In Praise of Slowness, is wholly inspirational.  It’s a wake-up call for those of us who have felt pressured to accomplish more, in less time.  For me, it came at the right place and the right time, but, more likely, it is simply the right place and the right time for the world to read this book.

Very intelligent, well-researched, and with the capacity to be life-changing, this is a book for anyone who wants to be more grounded, and get more out of life – by doing less.  With an insightful look at homeschooling, and how it fits with the slow movement, this book is a glorious read.

1. Face Painting

A few weeks ago, my son got out the watercolour paints, and started offering free face painting!  We all took advantage, and it turned into days and hours of fun.  A small paint brush, a little jar of water, and a small palette of paint – and, this could be you!

2. Shaving Cream Fight

Okay, the fight is optional, but there is no denying the appeal of a sanctioned mess! The perfect activity for a rainy day, no one is too old (or too young) for shaving cream fun! (Bonus: the clean-up is pretty easy).

3. Colouring On… Anything!

Usually we colour on paper.  Sometimes we colour on the wall… and very occasionally, we colour on eggs!

4. Scavenger Hunts

Easter egg hunt, scavenger hunt… well, they’re pretty much the same thing.  The kids had so much fun hunting for eggs with their cousins this past weekend, I’m pretty sure I’m going to build more scavenger hunts into our days.  Outdoor nature hunts (searching for leaves, flowers, acorns etc.), are the best, but indoor scavenger hunts (like the one we did for my son’s recent birthday party) are just as fun!  Bonus: we were pleasantly surprised by how our children shared their treasures during the Easter egg excitement.  It’s a nice to way to build in some social graces.

5. Sorting Trays

A classic Montessori activity, sorting items into trays, baskets, or other groups builds math, organizational and creative skills.  Even before age 2, many kids will enjoy sorting precious items into a lovely display.  I know my daughter loves it.  Older kids can help their younger siblings sort by colour, size or shape, or sort and categorize their own collection of special things.  As they get older, they can label them, too!

What are your favourite activities to involve the little ones in your household play and learning?

Homeschoolers have a distinct advantage over their school-going counterparts when it comes to physical education.  With so much more time, and very little of it (if any) confined to a desk, homeschoolers can be active all the time!  Of course, just like school-going kids, there are many activities that homeschoolers do, that require them to sit and focus.  But, even with these activities, homeschoolers are able to get up and stretch, take breaks, and generally spend less time “learning” things, because homeschooling is so much more efficient than classroom learning.

Here are 3 Ways Homeschoolers Have the P.E. Advantage:

1. Mini-breaks

Research has shown that we function best if we are able to get up and take breaks every 20 minutes or so.  Most people don’t give themselves (are unable to?) this kind of luxury in the workplace, and the same could be said for schooling kids.  Homeschoolers, are able to get up and stretch whenever their little legs tell them they need to.  They are able to listen to their bodies, as well as their minds, and perhaps find a better balance than kids whose movements are dictated by the order of a classroom.

2. Available Time

Homeschoolers don’t have recess.  In most cases, their time is much more flexible, and much more available.  If there is a typical homeschooling family, they are usually finished their “school work” by noon, and are free to pursue other interests for the rest of the day.  A great many homeschooling families attest to spending the majority of their afternoons outside.  Being outside is a great way to engage in active play.

3. Self-Directed Time

Homeschoolers often have the ability (alongside their parents) to self-direct more of their activities, to choose what really interests them, and pursue it.  Homeschoolers who, early on, find a particular sport, activity, or lifestyle appealing, are more easily able to integrate it into their lives.  That is, they have more time, and flexibility around when to do it.  In short, they can do it more.  So, whatever it is, be it bicycling, karate, or soccer, these kids should have an edge over their school-going peers.

Now, the reality.  At least one set of statistics that I have seen recently, shows that homeschoolers are not more active than their peers.  In fact, it showed the opposite: that homeschoolers are more sedentary than their school-going peers!

Could this be a parental oversight?  As homeschoolers, we are always concerned with meeting our children’s educational needs – after all, that is our job.  However, I wonder if parents forget to factor physical education into their homeschool planning.  We plan history, mathematics, even nature study.  But, often, P.E. is an after-thought.  Something we assume we can fit in around everything else.  This is only a guess, of course, but I suspect that our society’s general inactivity seeps into homeschooling families just as easily as it does for conventional school-going ones.

I don’t know about you, but I see very few homeschool bloggers regularly posting about physical education.  Granted, a lot of us write about outdoor play, which certainly fits the bill.  And, is wonderful.  But, I suspect, that many of us (myself included) forget to put P.E. on our topic list.  Another oversight?

So, here’s my challenge: prove me wrong.  Tell me all about how active your children are, how the statistics are wrong, and what you do to get your kids (and yourself) up and moving.  

Share your ideas and tutorials with this week’s:

Tuesday Tutorial link-up: Physical Education

And, let’s keep inspiring each other to get up and get active – because the more we do it, the more they’ll do it.  I, for one, was completely energized by our first family bike ride of the season, today!

For the past few weeks, I’ve been working my way (albeit slowly) through Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne.  It’s a wonderful parenting book, full of positive inspiration, and none of the silent judgement that sometimes emanates from parenting books.  Put simply, it is a lovely book.

Inspired by it, for the past few weeks, I’ve also been trying to pare down our stuff: the accoutrements that accompany our lives as parents, children, spouses, homeowners, and everything else that we are.  I started by tackling the toys.  I don’t feel I’m there yet, but I have put all of the most offensive toys into the hall closet – ready for quick evacuation.  I’ve been waiting for the kids to ask for them back, or for me to go seeking them.

So far, I’ve had one half-hearted request for the giant plastic truck (that we were guilted into buying, by a “helpful” manager at the thrift shop), and one for a plastic toy cell phone.  As far as I can tell, they’ve both been replaced by substitutes (although it might be a bit hopeful to think they have been entirely forgotten).  So, I think a trip to the thrift store (dropping off, not shopping!) is in order this week.

One of the major impetuses (I don’t think I’ve ever used that word plurally, apparently it’s possible), for the big clean-out, was a comment from a member, Kristin of Gypsy Junk (check out her blog, it’s lovely), that since cutting down on her kids’ toys, she saves so much time and mental energy by not having to clean them up.  That did it for me.  And, it’s true.  All the bits and pieces were driving me batty.  When I asked myself, why I was doing it to myself, scrambling to find a home for all of the cards, marbles, cars, etc., I realized, hey, I don’t have to do this!

So, we’re a work in progress.  We still have way to much stuff, but now, at least, I am starting to feel more in control.  And, I hope the kids are, too.  Another attempt should have us with a manageable amount of “stuff” to work with.  This week, I hope to tackle the closets.  All of them.  Of course, mine will be the hardest…

And so, the greater point, what is all this stuff teaching our children?  Even though we rarely buy toys (or anything these days, for that matter) when we are out, my son still covets things he sees.  He’s four, and already, he’s got a consumer’s mindset.  When he wants something, he has taken to asking us to go out and buy it – now!  This, more than anything has made me take a step back and evaluate.

It’s  more than getting stuff at a good deal, or secondhand, or even paring down on stuff.  It’s an entire attitude shift that, let’s face it, will put us at odds with society around us.  A friend and member posted a Facebook update today, that echoed all of these thoughts.  She lamented the culture of gifts, that people assume that kids need presents – that people need presents – to show that they care.   As a recovering chronic gifter, I concur.  I’ve always loved giving gifts, but the older I get, the more conscious I get.  I don’t want to blindly purchase gifts, especially for children.  As a parent, I always value time, and gifts of service over stuff.  And I know how hard it is to integrate more stuff into our home.

I know we’re not there yet, but I look forward to the day when we don’t feel like we really want anything (not that we have everything, just that we’re satisfied by not having it).  A walk outside always trumps a trip to the mall.   A cup of tea with a friend, trumps shopping therapy.  Art for process trumps art for creation of more stuff.  Now, I know I’m rambling, so I think I’ll stop there and just say that I’m working on breaking the cyle of consumerism, at least in this family.

How do you feel about “stuff?”  Are you a collector?  How do you consciously attempt to break the cycle of consumerism in your family?  Do you?  Are you snowed under?  Or a happy minimalist?

1. Tell us a bit about your family

We are a family of 4 living in central Minnesota. Our daughter Ilana is 4 and our son Elan is 1. Our goal, and our dream, is to live as self-sustainable as possible. Besides homeschooling we also have a small farm. Neither my husband or I grew up farming, but when we thought about raising our kids we could not think of a better place for them to be. Both the kids love the farm animals, and last year Ilana got really into gardening. She loves eating all the produce that we picked to eat fresh or preserved to eat over winter.

 2. Have you always known you wanted to homeschool?

Yes. As a student of public school I struggled. I have a good friend who was homeschooled and is now working as an engineer. Another who homeschooled her children, one is now studying classical guitar in Paris, the other a student at a large University here in the States.

My husband and I wanted to give our children the best opportunities in life, and to us that means homeschooling.

3. What is your favorite thing about homeschooling?

The flexibility, we can go anywhere, do anything or nothing at all, and do it as a family.

4. The hardest thing?

At this point the hardest thing for me is feeling confident that I am giving my kids what they need to succeed. I am however pleasantly surprised by things my daughter says. Things that I am sure I never even taught her!

5. Do your children ever ask to go to school?

I would not say our 4 year old asks to go to school, but she does ask to go to the playgrounds at school.

6. Do you prescribe to a particular homeschooling philosophy?

Right now I say we are unschoolers. However with a 4 year old and a 1 year old a lot could change in our homeshooling journey!

7. Do you use a particular curriculum?  Any recommendations?

To be honest, I stopped looking for curriculum it was so overwhelming. I like the idea of working with what we have. At this point I do not feel the need to buy into a curriculum.

8. What does a typical day look like at your house?

That is a hard one! Having a small farm everyday is an adventure. This morning my oldest woke up to see that one of our goats had kidded. So after eating a quick breakfast she was out to play with the kids. Normally after eating breakfast together we do chores, feeding and watering all the animals, sometimes sitting in the chicken coop waiting for a hen to lay an egg. Soon we will be milking goats too. Then it is playtime.

Ilana loves to make up songs and dances, while Elan loves playing with blocks. Elan takes a nap before lunch so Ilana and I spend time doing an art project, schoolwork, or taking the goats and the dogs for a walk. She loves schoolwork, which could be anything from counting to reading, or coloring. After lunch it could be playing outside or building a fort with the couch cushions.

9. What is your best homeschooling tip?

I know for me I feel the urge to “school” my kids. Sometimes it is hard not to compare my kid to a public schooled child. A mom once told me, regarding potty training,

They will learn when the time is right for them. You never see a 40 year old walking around in diapers.

I try and think about this every time I start comparing my kid to one that is in a public school.  Just because my daughter does not know the alphabet or can’t count up to 50 does not mean she is not learning, or that she will never know those things.

10. As a homeschooling family, what is the one item you couldn’t do without?

Well my first thought is my kids, but that is an obvious one. For us at the moment with a four year old and a one year old it would be our books and our imaginations.

Just for fun, this week, I thought I’d share a book that I’ve found inspiring for creating beautiful tools, toys and clothing for my little ones.  Many of you may know of Meg McElwee, and her blog, Sew Liberated, but, if you don’t, you’re in for a treat.

Meg is a wonderful combination of Montessori educator, inspired mom, and creative pattern designer extraordinaire.  She has another book, Sew Liberated, full of adult patterns, but her children’s book Growing Up Sew Liberated: Making Handmade Clothes & Projects for Your Creative Child, would make a great addition to any sewing-inclined homeschooler’s workshop.

The book is full of patterns for everything, from kimono-style play clothes and ring slings, to puppets and naturalist’s scavenger hunt bags.  Every project is inspired by Montessori or creative principles, and Meg provides valuable insights on the how and why of each project.  The layout and design of the book is beautiful, as are the photographs.  With twenty different patterns, interspersed with helpful ideas on adding rhythm and creativity to your children’s lives, the book is worth every penny.

Complete with full-size patterns, it is a wonderfully inspirational book for any mama looking for a creative outlet.  But, my favourite thing about the projects is that they are all either practical or mindful.  No make-work,”gimicky” projects here.  Everything you create is useable and beautiful, so it won’t just be taking up space.

If you’ve ever wondered how to make a reading tent, Waldorf doll, or play cape, they’re all included!  Plus, Meg’s patterns are easy to follow, beautiful and simple enough that even I (a decidedly amateur sewer) can follow them.

I purchased this book for myself as an early Christmas present, and used it to make play capes for the kids for Christmas:

I’ve got to say, they turned out so well!  I’ve never been so pleased with anything I’ve sewn.  I’ve already promised to make one for my nephew’s upcoming birthday. And, next on my list?  Well, I’d really like to make everything in the book… but, I think I’d like to tackle the scavenger hunt bag for my nature-collecting son.

Check out the Sew Liberated blog for more ideas, and inspiration.  Hopefully, you’ll like it as much as I do!