The other day I went to my favorite restauraunt for delicious eggs bennedict. I was informed upon my arrival that I would be seated next to the women of the Red Hat Society. to which I replied “Huh?”

As I was seated, I noticed that the prophecy was correct – and I was seated beside a bevy of old broads wearing red hats and purple dresses! I had no idea what they were about, nor what “the deal” was with the red hats. I went on their website and discovered that all they care about is going out and having a good time; whilst wearing the scarlet chapeau.

The only rule of law these ladies abide by is this:
Girls under 50 – purple hat and red dress.
Girls over 50 – purple dress and red hat.

Ladies of the Red Hat I salute you, and in time hope to point to you as an influence in the creation of
The Fabulous Mens Club. (Roma Del Tora 4 life)

Warner Bros. is going ahead with a Conan movie, set to start filming in 2007. The writer (and potential director) is Boaz Yakin, a lifetime fan of Robert E. Howard’s tales. He hopes to bring that devotion to Howard’s work to the big screen. Sounds great, right? Unfortunately for some, what this means is that this will be a remake and not a sequel. And not only will Schwarzenegger not be involved, but a large chunk of what many people consider to be part of the Conan canon will be obliterated. For example, Conan’s village wasn’t destroyed in the original stories, nor was he sent into slavery, worked as a gladiator or fought serpent men. Hell, in the original Howard stories Cimmeria was supposed to be a stand-in for Scotland, not Austria. In fact, many of the more familiar aspects of Conan the motion picture were actually lifted from other works of Howard’s, like King Kull and Bran Mak Morn.

It’s understandable why the filmmakers did this. Most of Howard’s stories were more like tales heard around the campfire. They had no real connection to one another, and no drive that pushed the narrative forward as a whole. In the short stories, Conan simply develops wanderlust after hearing tales of lands outside Cimmeria, and leaves to seek adventure. Not nearly as rousing as a tale of revenge.

As much as I love the original film and believe that it captured the essence of Howard’s creation, having read the original stories many times over I’m looking forward to this remake. If they do intend on sticking with the original text, they’re going to have a hard time making it work, not only because of the resistance from the rabid fans of the original, but also in adapting such a fractured tale.

I remember the first time I met Doug…

Wait. No I don’t. How the fuck did we meet?

Yesterday morning, one of the most influential comic book artists of the past hundred years passed away at his drawing table doing what he loved most.

Rest in peace, Mr. Toth.

Get Up Edina – Desmond Dekker
Desmond Dekker Came First – Toots and the Maytals

Last night I went to the new Capital Music Hall to catch a ska show. Before I left, I spent close to an hour debating on whether to wear a suit or not. It was hot yesterday, and I would be spending hours in a poorly-ventilated club with hundreds of uncoordinated kids pathetically trying to mosh to the rocksteady beat. Common sense told me not to wear the suit. The weight of history convinced me otherwise.

At around the same time as I was making my decision, the voice behind my all-time favourite ska song passed away. He will be missed.

J. and I were feeling lazy yesterday so we ordered a large pepperoni from the Pizza Pizza on the corner. 20 minutes later I left to pick it up, and during my half-block stroll I noticed a number of incredibly pale and awkward-looking individuals roaming around, picking through garage sales and dodging traffic.

The Pizza Pizza was packed. People kept coming in, waiting five minutes, then leaving in disgust. There were no individual slices on display and the meagre staff were scrambling to make fresh ones. Reinforcements were called in. They barely made a difference.

I looked around to for an explanation. Three skinny middle-aged men with long, grey hair were bent over their table scribbling on a piece of paper. A group of acne-scarred teens were discussing the merits of Battlestar Galactica at the counter. And the geeks kept pouring in, avoiding eye contact and squirming uncomfortably in the bright light of day.

I hadn’t seen anything like this in years, not since a trip to Kitchener/Waterloo years ago. A second glance at the table with the older guys confirmed my suspicions. Sitting in the middle of their table was the world’s largest dice bag. Somewhere in my neighbourhood someone was holding a gaming convention.

Later that night I passed the curling club one block away from where I live. I could just barely hear the sounds of Salt-N-Pepa coming from within. The cool geeks were outside smoking in the rain. I kept walking.