The Hugging Home

Poetry Corner: The Mast

2013-06-14T18:47:00.000-04:00

I have so many poems that I have not published...and am so pressed for time these days...so I thought I would publish a few more as not to bore you with blog posts about...well...nothing. LOL

I am not going to explain my poems.

Like any type of art, I believe a piece should speak to the reader in whatever way it does.

And so it is....

The Mast

Because he loved her
Soft fur
Against her cheek
In but a week
Feels warmer now
She wonders how
He'll feel this time
Next year?

And yet she knows inside
This ride
A slide
Though fast
A mast
He'll build to sail her
Round their land
Sea, wind and sand
Away from here
Brush off her tear
A year
Is now forever.

By: Lora Rossi - May, 2012

Smiles,

Lora

Word Flow

2013-06-11T20:05:00.000-04:00

"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter - and bleed."

- Ernest Hemingway

I write this on a Sunday afternoon...propped up against the pillows on my bed...wondering if I should write or take a nap.

I will probably do both...a little writing...a little napping.

Sometimes I really feel like writing...and I have this urge to say something...only I don't really know what that "something" is.

I trust the urge, however, and just start writing.

There I am. Pigtails and all.

Like right now.

So far...nothing terribly enlightening.

Maybe it's the pigtails.
Perhaps they are too tight?
It's not the blonde.
That is a constant!

It has come to my attention that with each passing year, the Great Toronto Area here in Canada - where I live - seems to be getting closer to having 2 seasons rather than 4. We are either complaining about how frickin' freezing cold it is or complaining about the heat and humidity.

What this has to do about anything is beyond me. Oh....stream-of-consciousness writing!

For a few short weeks between these two extremes, we have the "nice" weather of "Spring" and "Autumn". Those few weeks of weather that seems "just right"...so comfortable and pleasant that going inside just seems sinful.

It is not one of those days.

Today it is June and by now the summer weather has kicked in.

It is hot and it is humid.

Thank you Jesus for central air.

Handling my 2-year-olds tantrums about not wanting to go down for his nap are a little more wearing on my ears when the air feels heavier.

I much prefer this happy, little dude!

The thought of cooking near the heat of the stove seems exhausting.

So I'll make a sandwich.

I wish I had a pool.

But I don't.

Here I am at someone else's pool.
OK. Not me.
But a reasonable facsimile!

OK. This IS me.
See...flower in the hair and everything.

Nap time!

And now it is Sunday evening.

Yeah...I had that nap. Then played with my 2 year old. Then went to the store. And here I am again.

Feeling like writing with little to write about at the moment.

Perhaps I should write a poem.

Word Flop

Writing
Fighting to get the words
to flow
I go
into a state...
stalemate!
I try to think of themes...
of dreams I know I've had
to add
something new
for you to chew.
But this one...
you'll spit out
no doubt...
because I don't know what to say
and yet I stay.
Is that OK?
It's my blog...
and like a frog...
I jump around.
Just words...no sound.
until I fall...
And hit the wall.
Until I stop.
Then flop.

Lora Rossi, June, 2013

Well....that was no better. LOL

Welcome and good bye from one of the most pointless blog posts I have ever written. Almost as exciting as my blog post about nothing.

Uhhhh....I believe I just did.
Again.

Rossi....out!

Smiles,

Lora

Wellx Article #42: On Keeping Vision Journals

2013-06-08T18:19:00.002-04:00

Hey peeps!

I know you want to read them all...so here's a link to my first 41 articles published by WellX here. Enjoy!

I am a strong believer in The Law of Attraction and as a tool - I keep Vision Journals.

Whether I am looking to manifest something in particular or change many things in my life...or even just clarify what it is that I want in the next chapter(s) of my journey here on earth, I find that keeping on-going Vision Journals (or boards - which I have done as well!) are very useful.

A page from one of my many Vision Journals.

Here's the link to my latest piece:

Project Reinvention: The Vision Journal By: Lora Rossi June 7, 2013

And another.

Thanks as always to Brad and Mel and everyone at WellnessX for continuing to share my work and for their on-going support and great work with the wellness community!

Smiles,

Lora

Life is for Living!

2013-06-01T18:58:00.001-04:00

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

- Oscar Wilde

Do you have a mantra?

I mean, do you have something that you say to yourself when you are feeling down or stuck or in a rut?

Mine is pretty simple.

I say to myself, "Life is for living."

Yup.
That's what I said.

Sounds kind of redundant, I realize, but if you really think about it, it means much more than the words themselves.

I often find myself lost in the monotony of everyday life...the rush of it all...the seemingly sameness of my days...that I fail to savour any of it.

I get up, do the mother thing, do the work thing, do the housework thing...la di da di da...and one day blends into the next as if it is one, long marathon of trying to catch up.

Basically, I feel as if I've lost my head.

But what, really, am I trying to catch up to?

The finish line?

Because the "finish line" of the day, turns into the race of the next and so on and so forth.

The "finish line" of the week, turns into the race of the next and so on and so forth.

The "finish line" of the month, turns into the race of the next and so on and so forth.

The "finish line" of the year, turns into the race of the next and so on and so forth.

The "finish line' of the decade, turns into the race of the next and so on and so forth.

So what am I left with THEN?

Besides, that is, being really, really tired?

Yo! Peeps! I'm tired.
Enough already!

Well...I guess I'm left with the ultimate "finish line", aren't I?

And that would be the death.

And not so much so on and not so much so forth.

(Now I could get into discussions about the after-life and reincarnation and heaven and all of that...but I am keeping this to THIS life. The one I am living NOW).

But wait.

Am I really LIVING my life?

Living NOW?

Or is life just mostly happening TO me?

And if LIFE is for LIVING...then why am I even asking myself this?

...THAT is the question.

WHY then, has this become a mantra for me?

Well...you see...I have always kind of done "what you do".

And what I mean by this, is that I went to school, went to University, got a job, bought a car, bought a home, got married, moved up the ranks in different career positions in my field, had a kid, stayed home a bit, had another kid, stayed home a bit, bought another home, went back to work, bought another home, had another kid, stayed home a bit...well...you get it.

I never dated that much. Here and there. Only had one significant relationship before meeting my husband.

I never travelled much. Still don't.

I rarely vacation. I rarely see my close friends. I don't even go to the movies unless it is something with the kids.

I don't entertain much. Too much on my plate already.

Too much to worry about.

Too much rushing.

I feel like I'm running to stand still - as I wrote about in a recent, very similar post.

Besides my writing, my other passions - which include performing (acting, singing, playing instruments, dance), art, music, my friends...have mostly fallen by the wayside.

I do enjoy watching my boys play hockey...I really do...but it seems to be more about all of the logistics and the money and the who needs to go where at what time with whom and at what rink and rush rush rush rush rush...than the actual enjoyment of the game. For me, anyways...at this point.

I mean, I get it.

I'm a busy, working mother and wife with three active boys. One of them is a two year old.

I'm 40.

I am not exactly a spring chicken anymore.

And I know I am not alone.

But THAT IS MY POINT peeps!

All of this life is happening and I feel as if...as much as I write about how we need to slow down and smell the roses...I don't even SEE the frickin' roses because I am moving too fast!

And when I stop...I REALLY stop.

I don't seem to know what to do with myself anymore if I find myself with a few moments of free time.

So I sleep. Or I watch mindless TV. Or read stupid magazines. Or eat crappy food.

And why?

Because I KNOW that LIFE IS FOR LIVING and I feel as though I am just rushing through it and filling any free time as if they are VOIDS...because rush rush rush is what I am so accustomed to.

And what is best for my kids? And what will make him happy? And what will make her like me? And and and and....

WHAT THE FRICK ABOUT ME???

Yeah!!!!
What about ME!??!?

Shove, shove, shove it aside because I have to rush rush rush.

Fill any voids because I hardly know who I am anymore.

How can I "just be" if I don't know how to do that?

I try to relax...but I can't seem to do it.

I am LOOKING as if I am relaxing...sitting there...eating...reading...watching TV...sleeping...

But I'm not.

It seems to make me anxious.

Feel guilty.

I should be doing something else.

Something more productive.

Something worthwhile.

But I'M worthwhile...aren't I?

Who said no?!??!
Oh...perhaps that was the voice inside my head.

MY life is worth LIVING...right?

And don't get me wrong.

I am not suicidal here peeps.

I am just saying that I often feel as though I have lost myself. As if I am living someone else's life. As if somewhere, somehow, I got pushed out of my own story and was replaced by...well...by the "character" looking back at myself in the mirror.

I think this is around when the "Who is that?" stared to happen.
Hmmmmmm.

And the thing is...I KNOW I AM IN THERE.

Intellectually, I KNOW I AM WORTHWHILE.

I know that MY life is worth living.

And by MY life...I mean my AUTHENTIC life.

None of this is familiar to me.
But I think they should.

REAL life.

Because life...is for living.

Why?

Yeah....why?????

Because the finish line may be closer than we all think.

Not such a simple mantra after all...is it?

Life is for living.

Ponder that peeps.

Smiles,

Lora

Flying to Me

2013-05-25T19:46:00.000-04:00

"Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words."

- Robert Frost

I haven't posted too much of my poetry lately...and I am feeling rather introspective of late.

So on that note, I thought I would share my most recent poem.

I wrote this earlier this week in a stream-of-consciousness state. It is no work of art...simply words that came through me...to my pen...and to my little note pad.

And I dedicate this little poem, to someone I am getting to know better.

Someone I am liking more and more each day.

Someone who is imperfect yet strong; scared shitless yet hopeful.

Me.

I dedicate this poem...to me.

Flying to Me

Sitting...
gazing...
grazing towards the light.

Fight or flight?
I long to fly...
get high...
above mountains...
beyond clouds.

Shrouds of mind-numbing
tears...
I feel my fears.

Then hear a voice.

My choice...
Is mine.

Decline...
to move...
a need to prove...
to them
that I stem...
from love.

Look above.

A prayer.
To just be.

To be me.
To be me.

By: Lora Rossi, May, 2013

And so it goes...

Smiles,

Lora

WellX Article #41: On Waiting for Weight Loss

2013-05-23T18:40:00.002-04:00

Greetings!

I know you want to read them all...so here's a link to my first 40 articles published by WellX here. Enjoy!

I try to lose weight as do many of you...but wait!

There are so many ways to lose weight, that we wait until we find the right way to do it.

And we it weighs on us.

But what to we have to lose?

Well...weight!!!

What are we waiting for, really?

Stop trying to get it right...turn left and no more waiting!

Oh....weight!.....I mean....wait! Here's the link! Wait for it now....

The Weight Loss Wait By: Lora Rossi May 23, 2013

Thanks as always to Brad and Mel and everyone at WellnessX for continuing to share my work and for their on-going support and great work with the wellness community!

Smiles,

Lora

Silent Sundays: My Kids at Play

2013-05-20T09:06:00.000-04:00

The Weight Loss Wait

2013-05-15T18:53:00.001-04:00

"It's not whether you got knocked down; it's whether you get up."

- Vince Lombardi

OK.

So I am still trying to lose weight.

And I read a lot about ways in which I can do this.

And I am tired of the wait.

The wait to lose the weight...if you will.

I eat lots of veggies. But I like carrots and I saw somewhere that carrots have sugar, so I shouldn't eat rabbit food.

So...fruit is good for me. Yeah...I'll eat fruit. Lots and lots of fruit. I make smoothies and drink them like Carrie and her pals on Sex and the City drink cosmos. But there are good and bad fruits, right? Too many bananas are bad. Too many calories...too heavy. Oh but how good they taste with my low-fat, chocolate frozen yogurt!

OK, so I stock up on berries! Superfoods! Anti-oxidants galore! But those frickin' seeds! They get caught in my teeth and what about all this talk about the crap they put on strawberries to make them stay "fresh" and look all beautiful and red? Man!

So let's stock up on the lean protein! That rhymes, so it must be some poetic matching of some sort! Chicken boobs! I love chicken breast! I love the boobs even more than that higher fat brown meat...so it is perfect! But they cost a lot...and what about the vegetarians out there who swear they stay slim by knocking all meat and poultry from their diets? Come on!

Well screw them! I am not a vegetarian. I love animals, but hey, this is the circle of life peeps and it is my life I am trying to change. Sorry little chickens!

But it is really gross how most companies and the farmers that work for them raise "monster" chickens these days. They pump them up with God knows what so that they grow fast and grow big to keep up with demand. Chickens are crammed into these dark coops for the sole purpose of making them huge and killing them fast so that we can all enjoy massive, plump and juicy chickens. Yuck!

So what about pork? I am trying not to be a pig, so why not eat them instead? Yet again, my favourite way to eat pork is to have pork tenderloin, which is also the leanest part. I think.

Well...unless you count bacon. I mean, who doesn't like bacon? But I am willing to give that up if I can enjoy a nice, grilled or baked pork tenderloin. But isn't the pig sacred to some? I guess my "religion" does not subscribe to this, so I'm good. But am I being disrespectful? I would hate to be like that!

OK...let's move on to the cow. Oh the sacred cow! Shit! But I luuuuurve me a nice, juicy, tender steak. I used to hate steak with a passion, and now I wonder what the frick I was thinking.

My favourite steak is a sirloin or tenderloin...and these cuts also fall in to the leaner groups, so I am pretty lucky here. But, of course, these are the most expensive.

Thank God for sales.

I try and buy chicken breast, pork tenderloin and beef tenderloin or sirloin when stores drop their prices and purchase in bulk...but where the frick do I put it all? I have a family that consists of a rather large and hungry husband and three boys who are following in their dad's footsteps, and we only have one fridge with the little freezer it comes with.

Yes...I think it is time to invest in a second fridge and/or a deep freezer. More money. More space needed.

Frick...I can't even find a place to put a basket of clean laundry without tripping over it...so where the hell am I gonna put another major appliance? The garage?

And speaking of the garage...it is the only place I have the fits my big, very expensive treadmill. Along with all the sports equipment, bikes, scooters, outdoor crap and boxes of shit I don't have room for inside my house.

Frick.

So back to my diet.

I have recently discovered quinoa.

I know I am a little late in discovering this trendy grain, but it is awesome! A whole grain, that is gluten free and full of protein!

Who knew?!?

Lots of people apparently, but I finally got my shit together and took a trip to Costco and bought both a big bag of organic quinoa and a pre-made salad that has quinoa mixed with healthy stuff such as parsley, tomatoes, cucumber and a few other healthy goodies. Love it!

Now, I mentioned "gluten-free". This is the latest "thing" in the diet world and it seems there is a lot of merit to the whole thing. I know that some people have to revert to a gluten-free diet for medical reasons, however scads of others are doing so for its health and wellness benefits - one of them being weight-loss and/or maintenance. My parents being two of them.

My Dad, in fact, it turning into a walking, talking "Wheat Belly" encyclopedia!

My husband and I have toyed with the idea of purchasing this book - probably the best-known "gluten-free" book on the market...but we wanted to check it out of the library first, and the waiting list was as long as the desert is hot, so we are currently just listening to my father wax poetic about the horrors of wheat until we get off our butts and get our own copy. (Or perhaps, since I think my dad has pretty much memorized the whole thing, we will just steal his when he is busy eating his gluten-free whatever-it-is!)

I am an emotional eater. And a carb-o-holic. Chocolate is my biggest vice. I can't just have a little piece. It is my drug of choice. I have to stay away. I am not good at moderation in this area.

I also have a friend who lost a significant about of weight and gained muscle by subscribing to putting his body into a state of ketosis.

This meant cutting all carbs (especially at the beginning...and this included fruit), and eating lots of lean protein and veggies. Now, this is a single guy with no kids. He didn't have to consider cooking for a family of hungry men.

He could go to the gym on a whim (another poem!). And I must say, it really worked for him. He looks and feels fantastic.

I tried this method for a bit, but found it very restrictive (well...that it because it is!) and difficult given my situation as a busy mother and la la la.

It worked at first - I lost a pretty quick 20 pounds...but I just found it too difficult to keep up. But I must say, I learned a lot from my friend and he gave be tips and advise - even some that went beyond diet and exersise - that will stay with me forever. He even gave me the wise advise "when in doubt, lean out".

Wise guy for a dude of 40.

Then there are the pills and potions.

Look inside the pages of any women's magazine and you will see them. I had never tried any of these weight-loss helpers, but I am currently trying PGX. I will let you know how it works once I have been taking them for a while longer.

Of course, who can forget all of the weight-loss programs out there. From Weight Watchers to Jenny Craig to Medifast to this, that and the other...which one is best?

Well...I know from some friends that Weight Watchers can work and is a great support system as well if you do it right.

Lookin' good girl!

I, myself, tried Jenny Craig for a little while just before I had my third son to get rid of that extra 30 pounds that had made their way back to my ass and thighs after I had lost the baby weight from my second over the course of several years.

It cost a bundle, but it did work. I was getting close to my goal weight when I got knocked up again...which resulted in a very difficult pregnancy at the age of 38.

I broke my feet and then all hell broke loose.

I lay in bed for three months and developed a very bad Tim Horton's Iced Cap addiction. We are talking 2 large ones daily. I mean, I was already fat...I was lying in bed, I could not walk and it was the hot summer. I figured I deserved it. I did not think of how my ass and the rest of my body did not.

Frick.

I told myself I was having a 50 pound baby and all would be well and good once I gave birth.

My little Drew, however, was born 3 weeks early at 8 lbs, 3 oz and along with him and the water I got rid of, I lost about 20 pounds. Breast feeding let to a few more pounds lost.

And yes...little Drew got sucked into be-leafing early.
Poor kid

Stress caused me to continue to eat in a less than healthful way.

Post-pardum depression did not help matters. I was stuck with 3 little boys and 70 extra pounds on my body that was trying to get around on 2 less than perfect feet after a c-section.

I didn't even want to be seen.

Frick.

So it is two-and-a-half years later and I am still working on finding the right thing for me. But really, I know I need to do what I have done in the past. And I wrote about it in my post The No-Diet Diet.

Really...it is simple. Eat fresh, whole foods and practice portion control. And move your body daily. And be consistent.

And just do it.

That's it.

And so...I have a realistic goal set for myself. I am aiming to lose 2 pounds per week until I reach my ideal weight. No more crazy diets. No more crash this or that.

Eat healthy. Eat less. Move more.

But wait a sec. What about cleansing?

Ah! A friend at the office gave me info about The Master Cleanse...and while at first it way seem extreme and crazy, after I did some research, it made sense.

I have recently finished a 10-day cleanse, which I will blog about soon. After 10 days, I had lost 13 lbs and cleared my body of a lot of toxic crap. I plan on doing it again. More to come...stay tuned!

And the rest...well...let's give it a rest.

Off for a brisk walk!

Smiles,

Lora

Silent Sundays: The World's Greatest Mother

2013-05-12T16:29:00.001-04:00

"Mothers and Daughters are closest when Daughters become Mothers."

- Unknown

I love you mom!

You rock!

Kisses & Smiles,

Lora xoxo

WellX Article #40: On AH-HA Words

2013-05-10T18:58:00.002-04:00

Hello dear readers!

I know you want to read them all...so here's a link to my first thirty-nine articles published by WellX here. Enjoy!

Words provide inspiration. I mean, if they didn't, why would so many writers write?
Some simple words provide reminders...some even provoke epiphanies. All I know....is I love me some words!

As not to be too...errrr...wordy...here is the link to my latest article!

AH-AH! By: Lora Rossi May 9, 2013

Thanks as always to Brad and Mel and everyone at WellnessX for continuing to share my work and for their on-going support and great work with the wellness community!

Smiles,

Lora

Running to Stand Still

2013-05-02T20:59:00.001-04:00

"You got to cry without weeping

Talk without speaking

Scream without raising your voice.

You know I took the poison

From the poison stream

Then I floated out of here..."

(from 'Running to Stand Still' by: U2)

Do you ever feel like you're stuck?

Kind of like you are in a place whereby you don't have the motivation to change your current situation in one area or another, because you realize that what your gut is telling you is that you need to make and even bigger change that would render any of these other "needed" changes irrelevant?

I just read that back to myself and if you are confused, I don't blame you....that was confusing.

Uhhhh...what?

Let's look at this in terms of an example.

Say you live in a house and there are some things that you know you could do to make your house more inviting, more comfortable, more aesthetically pleasing, more efficient, whatever.

But say you also have this on-going feeling inside of you that is saying that this house does not feel like home to you.

That perhaps you don't want to stay there.

That maybe a move is in your future.

And so you are stuck in a kind of holding pattern because you don't want to put work into making your home more "you" when perhaps you are wanting to trade the whole house in for a different one.

See what I am getting at?

The same can happen with your job, your relationship, or anything else that is of any significance to you.

Sometimes when you realize you want to change so many things about something...you then start to realize that perhaps a bigger, more elaborate change is in order.

And being stuck in a state of indifference about your current situation is emotionally and physically draining.

And that is exactly what happens when the thought of making the big change leaves you frozen in fear and the thought of making the little changes makes you feel like none of them would even be worth the effort...because...you WILL get to that bigger change.

The timing just needs to be right.

You need to get stronger.

That's right Kelly!

You need more money.

Your kids need to be older.

You need to lose weight first.

It's too cold.

Brrrrrr!

It's too hot.

Whew!

Just another day.

Just another week.

Just another month.

Just another year.

Just another life.

Have I made my point?

Well...there it is.

It is like standing in quick sand that is not really sinking you, but is not letting you move up, move on, move out or move forward.

You just kind of stay.

And there is nothing "quick" about it.

It's frustrating...it's maddening...it's life-sucking.

So start small.

This will plant the seed...

Start by making a little change that will take you towards the life that you want.

...and the seed will being to grow...

Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

And then...and only then...will you start to move.

And you will no longer be still.

You will be walking.

Then jogging.

And then...running.

And no longer running to stand still.

Smiles,

Lora

WellX Article #39: On Presence in Parenting

2013-04-27T20:03:00.000-04:00

Hi readers!

I know you want to read them all...so here's a link to my first thirty-eight articles published by WellX here. Enjoy!

Our children are the best teachers when it comes to enjoying life in the present moment. They don't spend much time analyzing the past or trying to predict or worry about the future. We can learn a great deal from kids...and that is what this piece is all about.

My little guy Drew finding joy in ripping up Kleenex!

I have been sharing my posts with WellnessX on a bi-weekly basis for...wow...a long time now...this is #39 (I'm a writer, not a math wiz...you figure it out!)...and I am so happy that they continue to support me and my writing by sharing it with Wellness professionals across the globe.

Here's the link!

Parenting and Pondering in the Present By: Lora Rossi April 25, 2013

Thanks as always to Brad and Mel and everyone at WellnessX for continuing to share my work and for their on-going support and great work with the wellness community!

Smiles,

Lora

The Only Way Out Is Through

2013-04-20T20:31:00.001-04:00

"The most challenging times bring us the most empowering lessons."

- Karen Salmansohn

We have this mindset here in North America that the best way to get through tough times is to remedy any bad feelings by stuffing them down or covering them up.

We use whatever our "drug of choice" is - be it actual drugs, alcohol, TV, food, sexual promiscuity, exercise, sleep...whatever...to mask any bad feeling that we may have about what ails us.

Yes...even activities that are "good" for us - like working out and sleep - taken to extremes - become not so good for us.

Extreme behaviour, if taken on as avoidance "tools", is not healthy.

If you are going through stressful times - as we all do - addictive tendencies often pop up because we really have been socially programmed to keep up to the status quo...to keep on keeping on as usual...to mask any unpleasant symptoms in order to keep up with our busy lives.

But really, the only healthy way out of a difficult time - be it a health issue (physical, mental or both), a life-changing event such as loss of a loved one, or a job, a divorce, whatever...is to bravely trudge THROUGH it.

Hey...I am apparently related to Churchill...so maybe I should listen to him!

Now I am not saying one should not take medication when needed or get sleep, or workout...of course!...but it is the EXTREME behaviours that people must be aware of.

In order to effectively deal with stressful situations, we have to be able to FEEL what we are feeling instead of masking our feelings; masking them constantly.

If we don't learn to deal with stress in healthy ways, the problem won't go away...only the SYMPTOMS will be covered up.

Self-care is something I write about a great deal on this bloggy-blog.

This is partly because I understand how easy it is to fall into addictive behaviours when I am feeling down or going though a particularly stressful time in my life - which seems like more often then not these days.

And I know I am not alone here.

Hence this post.

I wrote a post a while back entitled Your Lonely Addiction - that actually garnered a lot of attention from addicts, addiction professionals and even family members and loved ones of people going through rough times.

But addictive behaviour does not only come in the forms that we usually associate "addiction" with. Alcohol. Drugs. Eating disorders.

My vices?

Well...a few of them include emotional eating, bad TV, sleeping during the day and even too much time social media-ing (I realize this is not a real word!).

Don't I know it!

Getting lost in these activities as avoidance mechanisms, rather than dealing with whatever it is that I really should be focusing on is not healthy if taken to extremes...and I too struggle.

Even writing is an escape for me. Albeit an often therapeutic and helpful one...sometimes I write when I should be focusing on other things. Yes...I procratiwrite.

Experts agree (and no, I am not one of these experts!) that the only way out is to walk through it..like fire. I talked about this recently in Life is Like Photography. You need those negatives that life throws you in order to develop (and grow) into a fuller, happier person.

These hard times can sometimes be wake-up calls, or as Oprah likes to call them "A-ha" moments; moments or on-going struggles that mean we need to stop and re-evaluate where we need to go next in our journey that is our life.

Take down the umbrella and feel the rain.

And the only way do do this is to feel what you are feeling.

Take the bad with the good.

Instead of assuming that you are supposed to feel great all the time, realize that bad feelings can often be important catalysts for positive change - if we only take the time to feel them, understand them, walk through them and then make choices that bring us to a new and better place.

So next time you are feeling bad, instead of reaching for an instant gratification "fix", try to sit with your feelings. (Yes...much easier said...or written..than done!).

FEEL your feelings.

And ask yourself "What is my mind...my body...my self...trying to tell me?

What is my life...in this very moment...trying to TEACH me?

You may learn something very important.

Smiles,

Lora

The Highlight Reel

2013-04-16T19:48:00.000-04:00

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

- Steve Furtick

I recently read Steve Furtick's quote above and it caught my attention.

Being someone who is on the internet a fair bit - blogging, reading, networking, facebooking, tweeting, etc. I ingest a lot of information about a lot of people on a daily basis.

Being an active participant in the blogosphere and in social networking, I write, I post stuff and I comment on things I find interesting, funny, noteworthy, inspiring, etc.

Where am I going with all of this?

Ummm...where was I going with this?

Well, Frank's quote really got me thinking.

We all have to remember that people get to pick and choose what they post and what they say on the internet.

Let's take me as an example - since I know myself better than anyone else.

Why?

Really?
Well I will tell ya then!

Because I know everything that is beyond my "highlight reel".

And there it a lot in the beyond!

...like this Hong Kong-based band called...you guessed it!...
BEYOND.

Now, of course there are people in my life that are very close to me - like my family and very close friends - who see more than what they see on this blog and on Facebook and Twitter, etc.

But we all compare ourselves to others. It is just human nature.

We just have to remember that when we compare ourselves to what people show of themselves on-line tend to be from their personal "highlight reel".

That's right...uhhh...beauty pageant queen!

Kind of like movies tell stories with the boring parts taken out, rarely do we share all that is real.

We show all that is "reel", if you will.

I could show you pictures of me first thing in the morning.

I could tell you intimate details of my most intimate relationships.

But I don't.

I try to be as real as I can...especially in my writing...but some things...some information...is not for total and complete public consumption.

Yeah...uhhhh....no.

So if you think I have the perfect life, think again hon.

If you think I am a total beauty...think again.

We are all painters...and we all present "paintings", using light and dark brush strokes to present art to the world that represents not only who we are...but how we want to be perceived.

Some are braver than others.

Some seem to be able to shake their ego to the ground and bash vanity into the wall and let it all hang out.

The good, the bad and the ugly are exposed to the world and we are pulled into to their lives and enchanted by the artist's pure honesty.

I like to think I am getting there.

But I do have my "highlight reel" that I pull from...because I fear that letting all of me "hang out" will expose information about me and those I am closest to that I am not proud of...or that make me feel too vulnerable to show.

I don't like feeling too vulnerable.
Who does?

I also respect the privacy of the people I cherish.

I am the writer...the blogger...the social media queen. But not everyone is. Not everyone in my circle wants their dirty laundry hung out to dry for all to see...to inevitably be subject to judgement.

Sorry. Very predictable photo choice.
Please don't judge me.

And so I keep on keeping on...but with each passing day, I am getting braver...at least with my own shit.

I am letting myself get more vulnerable.

I am communicating (I think!) that I have the same struggles, phobias, problems, issues, neuroses, muffin tops, etc. that many of you have.

These are the muffin tops I just referred to...of course!
(What did you think I meant???)

Sharing is a choice.

But the bottom line here is - stop comparing.

And start celebrating.

Woo hoo!

We are all different and if we were all the same...well...life would be pretty frickin' boring.

As Katy Perry sings: "Baby you're a firework!"

That Katy is on to something!

I may just pull from my "lowlight reel" a little more often one of these days.

But until then...I just want you to know that comparing yourself to me or to anyone else is futile and just totally counter-productive.

Instead, if you are going to compare...compare yourself today to the person you were yesterday.

If you are happy with what you see...then hon...

THAT is progress.

Smiles,

Lora

Wellx Article #38: On Inspiring Instigation or Instigating Inspiration

2013-04-14T21:41:00.001-04:00

Hi readers!

In case you are behind - and I know you aren't...I will point you in the direction of my first thirty-seven articles published by WellX here. I know. I am pretty predictable.

So...what comes first - inspiration or instigation? Does a worldly thought cause you to act, or do you just start and does inspiration follow?

Yup. Kinda like this old argument.

I have been sharing my posts with WellnessX on a bi-weekly basis for...wow...a long time now...this is #38 (I'm a writer, not a math wiz...you figure it out!)...and I am so happy that they continue to support me and my writing by sharing it with Wellness professionals across the globe.

It's kind if inspiring. I just started writing...and the relationship just kind of revealed itself. And because WellnessX instigated the relationship, I because inspired to write more. Confused? Me too!

Here's the link!

Inspiration and Instigation By: Lora Rossi April 11, 2013

Thanks as always to Brad and Mel and everyone at WellnessX for continuing to share my work and for their on-going support and great work with the wellness community!

Smiles,

Lora

Wabi-sabi

2013-04-11T21:58:00.001-04:00

"When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target."

- Geoffrey F. Fisher

Not to be confused with wasabi - that avocado-coloured mushy, hot stuff that comes with your sushi (which, incidentally, I once confused for a big chunk of avocado and stuffed the entire pile into my mouth at once...ouch!), Wabi-sabi is something quite different.

Looks like avocado right?
Beware!

Wabi-sabi is Japanese, however, but it has nothing to do with food.

Wabi-sabi - as I learned from writer Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book Romancing the Ordinary, "is the Japanese sensibility that reveres the art of imperfection, as well as the paradox of the inevitability of mistakes.

Unlike feng shui, this state of mind requires only a shift in attitude - critical to complimentary - instead of furniture."

The concept - or inspiration - for wabi-sabi, come from the ever-changing looks that arise from Mother Nature.

As Sarah mentions, "the essence of beauty is the slender in the ordinary. The overlooked. The disregarded."

In short, "what's genuine is gloriously flawed."

What a concept!

And yet, I personally find it very interesting to compare and contrast this idea with current Japanese culture - possibly the only one where people work harder, have higher standards, take less vacations and expect near-perfection for their children in their studies - than we do in North America.

But let's get back to Wabi-sabi (which, by the way, I think would make an outstanding Star Wars character name!).

"I am Wabi-sabi...and I am Darth's cat!"

Ponder for a moment the beauty of the bonsai tree. With it's uneven, curled and leaning branches and askew leaves, in writing it sounds rather...well...kinda ugly.

Imperfectly beautiful!

But anyone who has ever seen a little bonsai understands immediately the beauty of their imperfections.

Wabi-sabi at it's best!

I write an article a while back for Yummy Mummy Club about Decorating with Nature. It seems I have been at one with the wabi-sabi thing for a while now without even knowing it!

Here are some more examples to better illustrate the concept of wabi-sabi:

In your own environment - in case you don't have a bonsai tree handy - take a look at your weathered harvest table that your family uses for meals, crafts, homework and what have you.

Once upon a time, it was flawless...but know it has scratches from dinky car races, indents from a pencil that was writing too hard, a water stain or three from spills and a few burn marks from that fun evening of fondue with friends when you forgot to put extra protection from the heat under the tablecloth.

We often call this patina. The Japanese may call it wabi-sabi.

I call it life in its natural form.

And life...is perfectly imperfect.

Just like you.

And just like me.

Smiles,

Lora

WellX Article #37: On Working

2013-04-07T14:38:00.001-04:00

Yo peeps!

I know this is getting repetitive, but hey.

I will begin by pointing you in the direction of my first thirty-six articles published by WellX here.

I'm now back working full-time outside of my home...and I am happier for it.

I'm not doing what I thought I would be doing, nor at the level I thought I would be doing it...but it is something new and change...well...change is good.

Me at work. HA!

I am so happy to continue to work with WellnessX and share my thoughts with you and wellness professionals around the world.

This one is a little late getting to my blog...but hey...i've been busy...well...working!

Here's the link!

Working Is Working! By: Lora Rossi March 14, 2013

That's more like it!
Except for the bubble gum.
And the pearls.

Thanks as always to Brad and Mel and everyone at WellnessX for continuing to share my work and for their on-going support and great work with the wellness community!

Smiles,

Lora

AH-HA!

2013-04-04T18:55:00.000-04:00

"Energy is the essence of life.
Decide how you're going to use it by knowing what you want."

- Oprah Winfrey

Yes peeps, I'm an Oprah fan.

And for those of you who are also fans, you have probably heard her talk about "Aha!" moments.

These are moments when you have little epiphanies about life.

Something...anything...causes you to stop in your tracks and say "Aha! So that is what that means!" or "Aha! That is what the feeling has been trying to tell me!" Etc...etc.

I have a couple of little stand-up letters sitting on a shelf in my living/dining room. They are actually letters left-over from letters that used to stand on a shelf in my son Noah's room spelling out his name: NOAH.

Here they are!

The letters are simply "AH"... or "HA"... depending on the day.

When I feel the need to remind myself to relax...I place them to read "AH". As in "AHHHHH...just breathe." Or "AHHHHH...just be." Or "AHHHHH...just take a few moments to relax."

Ahhhhhhhh!

When I feel the need to enjoy the moment more or need a reminder to experience more joy...I place them in the opposite order to read "HA". As in "HA...life is funny!" Or "HA...laugh more!" Or "HA..life ain't so bad!"

Ha ha ha!!!

Either way, I usually see these letters and think of both. I read them forwards and backwards to get "AH-HA!" I need to relax and laugh and enjoy and life in the moment and experience feelings in life both good and bad.

Now, I could take the other letters I have leftover from "NOAH" now that I think about it.

I could place these letters to read "NO"... as in "NO...don't think negative thoughts!" Or "NO...don't take on things that don't need to be taken on." Or "NO... don't eat that extra cookie or four!" Or "NO... I am not going to say "yes" to something that I don't really want or need to do."

Or...I could turn them around to read "ON". As in "ON with what you really need to get done." Or "It is ON!" Or "Get ON with it...you can do it!" Or as Noah would say, "Rock ON!"

Noah: "Rock ON!!!"

Who knew that the letters in my son's name could be so inspirational and thought-provoking!??!?

Really...all of these reminders are little "AH-HA!" moments.

Yes, I have added a letter to Oprah's famous "AHA!"...but hey, I only have so many letters to work with...and you have to work with what you have!

I suppose I could steal a letter from my other son's name "Julian" to add that extra "A" to the mix...but his are in a different shape and colour...and I like consistency!

The point of all of this is that we all need little reminders in life.

We all need occasional wake-up calls to stop and remind ourselves what is important.

I love these!!! I want one!

Actually, I always wear my three boys' initials on tiny pendants around my neck.
You can't really see them here...but that is what I am wearing in this photo.
They are called "love letters" with good reason.

We need to always keep our priorities in check. And this is just one little way that I do this.

I also have a little "thing" for letters and words and phrases and quotes. I am drawn to anything I can place around my home that give me little reminders of what life is all about.

Like these little stones...

Another example is the "R" that currently hangs in our kitchen.

The kitchen being the "heart of the home" seemed like a good place to hang the letter that reminds us that we are a family. The Rossi family. Hence the "R".

I also have a few throw pillows with simple words on them

One simply has the word "happiness" on one side and the French equivalent 'bonheur" on the other.

The other has "rejuvenate" on both sides.

I usually switch around the location of these little pillows. Currently, the 'happiness/bonheur' one is in my living room. A reminder to be happy. And also a little French lesson for my boys.

My "rejuvenate" one is in my bedroom. For obvious reasons.

When I took this photo of my living room it was on my couch.
If you look closely you can see it!

I have a few little "plaques" in my home.

On reads: "If you're going to fight, use pillows".

A fun reminder to by playful instead of fighting with mean words or...in my boys' case instead of with punches and throwing things! LOL

Another one reads: "I love to cook with wine sometimes. I even put it in the food."

Just a fun one to remind myself that it is OK to enjoy a glass of wine once in a while...which I rarely do anymore of late.

My sweet mom recently bought me a lovely little white sign that reads "You are my sunshine".

This is because I sing this song to my boys. My sons are also my "suns"...and when I look at this sign I am reminded of how lucky I am to have them...and my mom...in my life. It currently sits atop my writing desk.

Kinda like this, but in white and much simpler and nicer!

I even have a little sign in my kitchen that simply reads "Espresso". A nod to my husband's Italian heritage and to our love of a nice cup of coffee.

I could go on...but I'll stop there.

Being a writer, I love words and the inspiration they bring. I even have had dreams of opening up a store simply called "WORDS"...that would sell anything and everything - from signs, letters, home decor items, quote decals and posters and art...all dedicated to words.

Hey...maybe one day.

But for now...I take my love of words...and put them together on my page...or my blog...to inspire both myself...and hopefully...you.

And I leave you with a few words from a man who can rock a red "banana sling" like nobody else I know:

There he is with his famous "accessory"!

"Word up!"

Or as I like to say a little more simply:

"WORD!"

Smiles,

Lora

The Disease of Dis-ease

2013-03-28T15:34:00.000-04:00

"The thoughts I choose to think and believe right now are creating my future. These thoughts form my experiences tomorrow, next week and next year."

- Louise Hay

I have been re-reading some Louise Hay recently.

I don't really know why.

Well...that is a lie. I actually know that it is because I finished that last book I was reading and I looked at my book shelf and grabbed her book "You Can Heal Your Life" quickly as I was running out the door wanting to have something in my bag to read in case the spirit moved me.

In this book, Louise breaks down the term "disease" into two parts - "dis-ease".

It makes sense, since when we are inflicted with any sort of disease...be it cancer, depression, addiction or a anything else that falls into this vast category, we all feel a great deal of dis-ease.

This means, of course, that we are not at ease with our situation.

We are fearful. We worry. We feel lost.

We are un-well.

And all of these feeling of dis-ease certainly don't help us on our journeys to getting well.

Having negative emotions and feelings because we are not well only add to our disease and our dis-ease. Negativity feeds disease and our dis-ease increases.

It becomes a vicious cycle and can lead to the famous "self-fulfilling prophecy" of keeping whatever ails you...well...ailing.

Now don't get me wrong. There are some who truly believe that if you change your thought patterns, you can heal anything...even cancer. Louise is one of those people. She even has the personal experience to back it up.

But I am not quite there yet. But she was on to something.

Like the Bible, you can't always take a person's or a book's teachings word-for-word or completely literally to garner something useful from them.

For example, I have a good friend Liz who has been battling breast cancer. She has gone through chemo and radiation treatments like the warrior that she is. I actually dedicated a post to her entitled Live, Laugh, Love...Liz.

The thing is, Liz chose medical intervention - as most people with cancer do - to fight her disease.

But the amazing thing is...she also chose to be positive throughout this process. Not an easy undertaking when you are fighting the battle of your life.

And the key word in that sentence is "CHOSE".

Liz had...and everybody has...a choice.

She could have chosen to play the victim...to constantly spout the "poor me/why me" thoughts that I am certain pooped into her head countless times. I mean, how could they not? She is a beautiful, vibrant, wife and mother of three and an amazing woman in her own right.

But she was and is intelligent enough to realize that feeding her dis-ease with positivity and vibrancy could only help her. And I believe these things HAVE helped her.

And not only that...but her amazing attitude spread.

She has...through sharing her journey and showing her positivity and vibrancy through this very difficult time...helped with my dis-ease.

Now I am not saying I have cancer. But we ALL have issues and problems that we are dealing with. And Liz has been a constant reminder to me that staying positive promotes wellness.

So, we may not be able to choose when an illness stops us in our tracks.

But we can CHOOSE to feed the illness with negative thoughts or with positive ones.

And positivity...is always the way to help the dis-ease of disease.

Smiles,

Lora

What Makes Your House A Home?

2013-03-22T21:05:00.000-04:00

"Think of the inside of your house as your soul and the outside architecture as something like your bone structure, your genetic inheritance...Our true home is inside each of us, and it is your love of life that transforms your house into your home."

- Alexandra Stoddard

Your house may be your home...but the question I ask here today is...does your house FEEL like your home?

Yes, I realize, that is a loaded question.

Think back to a time when you were living somewhere that FELT like home. What was is about the place that made is so?

Was it the house itself?

Was it its contents?

Was it the other people who lived there with you?

I generally relate feelings of home to feelings of COMFORT.

How do YOU define comfort?

As some of you may know, I am a Certified Home Stager (although I have never really done this for a living!). Here is a post I did a while back that show several before and after shots of rooms I staged.

Imagine yourself in each "before" space and notice how you feel. Then imagine your self in the co-ordinating "after" space and notice any shift in feeling. Notice any difference?

Here is the post: If You Stage It, They Will Come.

There are a few things that are conjured up in my mind when I think of comfort when speaking about what HOME means to me

1. Coziness. I want my home to feel cozy. When I walk through the front door I want to feel a sense of being embraced by the walls...kind of like the safely of a cocoon...a feeling of belonging.

I want one of these.
Badly.

2. A sense of calm. I want to feel my stresses of the day fall as I cross the threshold. I want to feel relaxed and at peace.

Ahhhhhhh

3. Surrounded by beauty. And beauty can mean very different things to different people. When I look around my home I want to see things that bring me a sense that this is MY home. I want my home to be a reflection of ME.

So purdy!

4. Order. As I mentioned in a past post, A Cluttered Home is a Cluttered Mind. When we are in a home that is full of scattered "stuff", our mind becomes bogged down by the dis-order. Hardly the grounds for a relaxing, calming, beautiful, orderly home.

This just makes me want to get out my label maker!

5. Love. I want to feel love when I am at home. I want to feel as if my home loves me...as well as the people I live with. Love is a two way street when it makes one feel good.

My loves.

When I review the above list, I realize that my home has some work to do...or rather, I have some work to do on my house in order to make it truly feel like my ideal home.

I often walk in the front door and feel overwhelmed. Piles of clutter, toys, papers and what-have-you stresses me out.

I don't feel the sense of calm I crave.

There is certainly some beauty to my home, but it still does not totally feel like ME. Now, part of this has to do with the fact that I hardly live alone. What means "beauty" to me, does not necessarily mean beauty to my husband and three sons.

Beauty to me...may not be the same as...

...beauty to one of my boys!

Finding a balance here involves a lot of compromise and give and take. I have yet to find that perfect (or good enough) solution...but that's OK. With three young boys running about, one has to surrender a certain amount of what one finds ideal in order to accommodate the realities of their family.

Messy? Yes. Fun? Definitely!
Well worth the clean up!!!
(And homemade brownies ALWAYS make a house feel more like a home!)

The same goes for order. I am not a drill sergeant, nor do I want to become one all in the name of perfect order. Again...some surrender is...well...in order, if you will.

A "locker" system I concocted (with my husband's help!) - one for each of our boys.
Their photos are above their own "locker" in case they - or I - forget!
I'm trying!!!!

As for love...well...I love the people I live with. Not to say they are perfect - no one is. But they are my family and Lord knows I am no personification of perfection myself.

No comments from the "Peanut Gallery" please! LOL

But if you don't, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your situation.

Do you have roommates that suck the energy out of you?

Has your relationship run its course?

Only you can answer these questions, but if these people make your house feel more like a prison than a home...well...maybe you need to take some action.

Well...I didn't mean a LITERAL prison...but you know what I mean.

Now this is my list and my feelings. Your list may be entirely different.

Start by making your own list of things that make you feel "at home".

Here is me making mine.
Notice my small waist.

And then...take a little action.

And then, maybe...just maybe...one day, you will find that your house whisper to you...

"Welcome home".

Smiles,

Lora

The Four Stages of Happiness

2013-03-16T21:05:00.003-04:00

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony."

- Mahatma Gandhi

Yes peeps...I am still making my way through the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

(At least I was when I wrote this!)

And yes, I am learning something new with each small snippet I absorb.

Like what I learned about Hostess Neurosis.

Or what I learned about Fog Happiness.

And what I learned about how I need to Act The Way I Want To Feel.

Yup!

I'm always learning!

In Chapter 4, entitled "Lighten Up" her focus is on parenthood. Rubin is the mother of two young girls and through her happiness project she was seeking out ways to add more fun and lighter moments into her day-to-day life - especially concerning her interactions with her children.

Before she mentions the four stages of happiness - which she came up with after her extensive research on the topic, she reminds the reader of the more commonly known five stages of grief as famously coined by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Being a self-help junkie, I was already quite familiar with these.

And perhaps I will write something more in-depth about my thoughts on these stages.

But today, I want to take a closer look at Rubin's four stages of happiness.

According to her, "to eke out the most happiness from an experience, we must anticipate it, savour it as it unfolds, express happiness, and recall a happy memory."

Hmmmmm. Interesting.

The first stage - anticipation - is something I already knew.

I actually say quite often that "half the fun of realization is anticipation."

Remember the anticipation of a first kiss?

I probably even wrote a post about this way back when, and surely have mentioned it...and I would link you up to that if only I remembered and if only I were not so lazy.

But think about it.

Let's say you are planning a vacation to...oh...say...Hawaii. Your tickets have been purchased, childcare for your kids has been arranged (yes...this is an adults-only get-away!) and you have booked of the time from work.

But the vacation is not for another 3 months!

Do you see where I am going with this?

Having something to look forward to is exciting!

It gives you a skip to your stride and something to daydream about. Just knowing that the day you get on that plane, on your way to a tropical paradise is inching forward with each passing day is all part of the fun!

Moving on.

Let's chat about savouring happiness as it unfolds.

It really depends on the attention you give to any experience - be it something as big as a grand vacation - or as seemingly insignificant as baking cookies with your kids.

I remember this fun, cookie-baking, snow-day with my boys.

It is all about being present. And Lord knows I have written about this one before. For example...Parenting and Pondering in the Present. In fact, this one was picked up by a popular website VividLife and republished under a slightly different title here.

Children naturally live in the moment. We can learn so much from them.

Julian having fun with bubbles!

Drew ripped up a box of Kleenex all over the living room...and Mama let him because he was having so much fun!

And while we are on the topic of happiness, I also write a short piece entitled A Short Note on Happiness that you may enjoy.

And finally, my post Have You Noticed? was another one that struck a chord with many as it went viral via Facebook, Twitter, etc. It also got picked up and re-published by WellnessX here.

So...presence is a cornerstone topic here on The Hugging Home, as is happiness, for that matter.

So is my digressing. But you know that.

So often our minds are in the past or in the future. We need to be in the NOW to really savour the day-to-day experiences of our lives.

After all, now is all we really have. Now IS life...happening.

So pay attention.

The next stage of happiness, as per Rubin, is expressing happiness.

It is one thing to say you love someone, but it is quite another to express it.

We need to show people that we care about most how much we care about them.

Snuggle with Noah!

So often we focus on the negatives and take the positives for granted. And the elusive "they" say that it takes 5 positive expressions towards someone to counter any 1 negative expression.

Julian giving his baby brother Drew a loving nuzzle.

So do those little things that mean so much...just...because.

Praise and compliment. Try not complaining or nagging too much.

If you feel love...express love.

You will find you get it back in droves.

I talk about the power of simple but powerful words in my post Powerful Words for Today as an example. Come to think of it, this one was also republished by WellnessX here.

Recalling a happy memory is the fourth stage of happiness.

This is one of the reasons why I think traditions are so important.

I can recall so may happy memories from my childhood that stem from traditions.

Going skating at the local park and then home for fondue with my family on New Year's Eve. Enjoying hot chocolate by the fireplace and getting to open one Christmas present each on Christmas Eve. Ordering Chinese food every time the Super Bowl was on...even though none of us were much in to football!

Looking back at photos from when I was younger bring back happy memories too.

Me and my mom at Blue Mountain.

Me and some of my best friends goofing around on my 21st birthday.
That is me, bottom, middle apparently trying to lick my friend's forehead.

I have tried to preserve some happy memories for my children by making them each a scrapbook of their first year of life...right from the moment they were born to their first birthday. (I have to admit though, that I am overwhelmed with all of the digital photos I have of my youngest - I didn't have a digital camera when my oldest two were little - that I have yet to even develop most of them. I have to get on that!)

As I truly believe, the main purpose in life is to be happy...so I was happy (ha!) to learn about these stages - not because they are revolutionary - because really they aren't - but because we all need reminders.

Consider this yours - from Gretchen - to me - to you!

Smiles,

Lora

HuffPost Live with Ty Pennington & Me!

2013-03-13T21:00:00.000-04:00

So a couple of months ago, out of the blue, I was contacted by The Huffington Post - one of the biggest news websites in the world.

A producer of the site's popular, on-line show HuffPost Live contacted me because she read my blog and thought I would be a good segment guest for a show they were doing.

So that I am not repeating myself, the details about that...along with a link to the segment is here.

I was contacted again - this time by phone - by another HuffPost Live producer asking me to participate in a segment with SELF magazine about spring fitness. Unfortunately, I was unable to fit that one into my schedule.

What can ya do?

Then a few days later, I got another message from yet another HuffPost producer asking is I would be a segment guest on a show with well-known interior designer and TV personality Ty Pennington!

Ty Pennington
You probably know him best from "Trading Spaces" and "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"

Now this was exciting!

...and THIS is exciting!
You're welcome.

Not only am I am big home decor junkie, but I am a big fan of Ty's - both because he a cutie pie and because I really like his design aesthetic.

I also dig his magazine!

Luckily, I was available to do the segment.

YAY!!!!!

Now those of you who are familiar with Ty know that this guy is majorly hyper and talks and moves a million miles a minute (he actually has spoken openly and honestly about living with ADHD).

This being said, he did most of the talking during the segment and my contribution included a couple of questions near the end. If you blink you just may miss me!

But it was still cool and fun to be a part of it!

So here is the link!

HuffPost Live: Pennington Style, March 11, 2013

Special thanks to Vanessa and Camille at The Huffington Post / HuffPost Live for asking me to be a part of this fun experience!

I hope to do it again soon!

Smiles,

Lora

Groundhog Mornings

2013-03-09T17:11:00.000-05:00

"When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide then I stop and I go for a ride and I get to the bottom and I see you again."

- The Beatles

Do you ever experience so many deja-vus in your life that you feel as if you are living in the movie "Groundhog Day"?

My mornings are like this.

Alarm sounds. Press snooze. Alarm sounds. Press snooze. Alarm sounds. Press snooze. Alarm sounds. Almost press snooze but then realize you are already 20 minutes behind.

Get up. Stretch you aching back. Rub your eyes. Saunter to the bathroom. Jump in the shower if you have time. If not, pull your hair back. Put on a bit of make-up so that you look half-presentable.

Get baby out of crib. Change poopie diaper. Yell across the house to remind your older kids that they had better be eating their cereal because they are old enough to get themselves their cereal and pour milk on it.

Dress baby. Wish he was old enough to get his own breakfast. Realize he is not and give him a break. Make him breakfast.

He's lucky he's cute.

Clean up that very breakfast because in a fit of rage he decided he does not want what you made him for breakfast and threw it on the floor.

Clean up the floor and eat some of it as you go for your own breakfast.

Not me...but could be!
Jealous?

Tell the older boys they need to get dressed. Hear "just a sec!". Tell them again in a sec and hear "just a sec!" Tell them again and hear "just a sec!" Yell "If I hear "just a sec" one more time....!"

Boys pass you in the kitchen and you kiss them good morning and tell them to listen to you. They turn to go upstairs and you say "Pardon?" and they say "Sorry mom".

"Sorry Mom!'
They're lucky they're cute.

Make something different for baby. If he eats it, good. If he throws it on the floor again, too bad for him...more food from the floor for you.

Older boys come downstairs dressed.

One asks where his belt is. You tell him "probably in the hamper and you should remember to take off your belts before you put your jeans in the wash"...again.

One comes down wearing jeans with big holes in the knees. You say "How many times do I have to tell you that those jeans are for playing...you don't wear them to school?!?'

A familiar sight.
They are so holy they should only be worn to church.

He sighs and goes upstairs to change while the other one is sighing because he still can't locate his belt in the hamper.

You change the baby's shirt as he threw his breakfast before you thought to put on his bib and now it is soaked in milk. You change your own shirt because you forgot that your baby likes to throw his breakfast when he does not like it and it is also soaked in milk.

You put the soaked shirts in the hamper and find your older son's lost belt.

Oh...there it is!

You also find a perfectly clean pair of new jeans in the hamper that you knew were dumped there because your other son was too lazy to put them away.

You give them to him and say "Stop putting clean clothes in the hamper...now take those ratty ones off and put these perfectly clean ones on." He complains because they were in the "dirty clothes" and you remind him that most of them are clean clothes that he and his brother threw in there anyways.

Except for the shirts soaked in milk.

But you keep that detail to yourself.

Shhhhhhhh!

You spout four-letter words to yourself - or perhaps out loud - because you failed to put the coffee on and frick...you really need a jolt of java!

You rush to put the coffee on only to realize you are out of coffee and now you don't have time to stop at Tim Horton's on the way to work.

Not to mention...today probably would have been the day I would have won a car!

You get the lunches out of the fridge and you silently thank your husband for making them the night before but also spout more four-letter words at him for having to leave so early for work each morning that he can't help you deal with all this shit.

You realize you don't have socks on so you run up and can't find any that match so you take some out of your son's drawer and give thanks that their feet are now as big as yours.

Oh what surprises lurk under my Uggs!

You tell the boys to turn off the TV, the video game, the whatever and then send them back to turn off the lights. Then they argue as to who left them on and you tell them you don't care...just somebody do it. And clear your breakfast dishes while you are at it.

And put them in the dishwasher because you may be their mother but you are not their maid.

Nope. Not me.

Tell older boys to put their lunches in their backpacks and then one of them tells you he needs $12 and a 4-page form filled out for a field trip and it was due yesterday. You tell him he needs to tell you about these things earlier and quickly fill out the form and search for cash around the house until you finally write a cheque for $12 because who carries cash anymore...really!!?!?

Ask the older boys if they brushed their teeth and get little smiles that mean "no I forgot" and at this point you don't care...there is no time for personal hygiene...you just want to get out the frickin' door.

You tell them their teeth are gonna fall out and that they will never get dates when they are older and they tell you that girls are gross anyways.

This is what I think of girls. Gross!

You get baby into his jacket, hat, scarf, boots and then he throws a tantrum because he hates mittens. You tell him his hands are going to be cold and he does not seem to care and neither do you.

You tell the boys to get on their outdoor shit and one of them complains that his socks are uncomfortable under his boots and you tell him too bad we are late. He starts to whimper and you ask him if he would like cheese with his whine.

He grumbles and groans as if he is having a major health crisis and you run upstairs and throw down - a little too hard - another pair of socks that are exactly like the ones he is wearing but whatever.

Finally everyone is out the door.

Except one of the boys forgot his backpack and you have already started the car.

You take the keys out of the ignition so that he can take the keys, unlock the house and get his bag and then you yell to him to remember to lock the door.

Then everyone is in the car.

And you feel like going back to bed.

And WHAT time is it?

And it is only 8:07am.

The silver lining?

At least you don't have to do this again until tomorrow.

Like you said...as do I...they are lucky they are cute.

Smiles,

Lora

Lean Out

2013-03-06T20:35:00.000-05:00

"Empty yourself and let the Universe fill you."

- Yogi tea bag

Admittedly, I am a wee bit neurotic.

I worry too much.

I over-analyze things.

I get paranoid, I fret, I doubt, I ponder.

Me...pondering.

I fear.

In the back of my mind...although much further to the front than some I would guess, I see that rainy day coming and "Oh my gawd, what will I do when it does!?!??!?!?"

I pick apart little situations.

I study words of past conversations.

Did he mean THIS when he said THAT?

Is she mad at me?

Am I the worst mom on the planet because I did or didn't do X, Y or Z?

...or ANY of these letters for that matter!

In my work, I am not nearly as bad.

But when it comes to my personal life...well...see above.

During a particularly difficult few weeks this past year...a time when I was both scared of moving forward and just as scared of moving back...so scared, in fact, that I was staying so still that I could hardly move...I received a simple piece of advise from a good friend.

This friend told me to "lean out".

And I said, "What-choo talkin' about?"

So my friend - let's call him Willis - simply repeated: "Lean out. When you are stuck and you are not sure what do do, instead of forcing an answer, just lean out."

Yeah. I know.

Willis can be pretty deep.

But of course, then, so can I.

I am pretty sure I am thinking a pretty deep thought here.

And so - of course - I over-analysed this idea.

I pondered it.

I took it apart and put it back together over and over in my mind until it made some sort of sense to me.

It is true that sometimes you can't see the forest from the trees...until you take a step back...or a "lean out" if you will.

Forets...trees...leaning...get it?

Take time to breathe...to let your gut do the thinking...and just...BE.

I think the key is to find a balance (Balance! Ah...there's a concept!) between looking very closely at a situation and stepping away from it - that is - getting your ego out of the picture - and just kind of flowing.

Just kind of hangin' out.

Just...LEANING out.

You need to do both in order to stay sane...and to make big decisions.

My friend...uhhhh...Willis...was smart.

My friend Willis.

And sometimes I ignore this advise.

But when I get too tangled and stressed and over-analytical about something his words always drift back into my head.

Lean out.

I think I know what-choo was talkin' about Willis!

Thanks. <8

Smiles,

Lora

WellX Article #36: On Feeling Tired

2013-03-03T12:42:00.001-05:00

Hey there friends!

As I always do, I will begin by pointing you in the direction of my first thirty-five articles published by WellX here.

I'm tired of being tired...and in this piece...well...I write about just that!

Being tired can become a vicious cycle if you let it.

I am so happy to continue to work with WellnessX and share my thoughts with you and wellness professionals around the world.

Here's the link!

I'm Tired of Being Tired By: Lora Rossi February 28, 2013

Thanks as always to Brad and Mel and everyone at WellnessX for continuing to share my work and for their on-going support and great work with the wellness community!

Smiles,

Lora