The Impulsive Buy

NEWS: Mashed Potato Burger From McDonald’s China Could Be A Knockoff of Another Country’s Burger

The Impulsive Buy — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:24:34 +0000

There are companies in China that make cheap knockoffs of things like iPads, designer sunglasses, Nike shoes, and BMW automobiles. Copyright laws in China are…well, let’s just say copyright in China is copyallright. At first, I didn’t think the new McDonald’s China Mashed Potato Beef Burger sounded like a knockoff of another country’s burger, but after doing some research, it might just be.

Here in the United States Burger King had a burger topped with mashed potatoes and Burger King Taiwan had a burger called the Mashed Potato Beef Burger. Okay, so perhaps it’s not a knockoff of another country’s burger, but it is a knockoff of another company’s burger.

The McDonald’s China Mashed Potato Beef Burger is made up of two 100 percent beef patties, bacon, lettuce, some kind of sauce, and a layer of mashed potatoes. I’m lovin’ it…and I’m hatin’ it at the same time because we can’t get it here in the United States. If you happen to find yourself in China to buy a cheap iPad knockoff, a Mashed Potato Beef Burger will cost you 19.5 yuan (about three US dollars).

Commercial below:

REVIEW: Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt (Peach and Strawberry)

The Impulsive Buy — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:00:38 +0000

Being a hardcore fan takes dedication. It entails joining fan clubs, showing up whenever the thing you’re a fan of makes a public appearance, and devoting a huge portion of your week to enjoying whatever it is. Also a little bit of stalking. I believe the kids have created a delightful portmanteau for that kind of stalker fan: “Stan.”

But can one be a “stan” for a dairy product? I think I may qualify. I freaking love yogurt, man. I eat it every day. I have tried many brands, and I can say with confidence that I’ve settled on Yoplait as my brand of choice. Maybe it’s Yoplait’s high amount of sugar talking, but Yoplait is my jam. That’s not to say that fruit-flavored yogurts are my ultimate faves (see what I did there?) I have my old standbys: Vanilla, Boston Cream Pie, and Banana Cream Pie. These are the flavors that I can’t do without, the ones over which I will seriously get mad if my store hasn’t stocked them or if someone steals them from my fridge. And the stalking… Yes, I will do a drive-by of the dairy section just to see if my favorites are in stock, not even to buy them. I don’t leave scary notes declaring my love, but those little containers know what I’m thinking. They can see it in my steely, meaningful gaze of longing mixed with a touch of resentment.

Now Yoplait has provided a whole new product for me to obsess over by releasing lactose-free versions of the creamy goodness: Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt. (Just in time for Lactose Intolerance Awareness Month! This is actually a thing. Can’t wait for the Hallmark product tie-ins… I’m thinking gassy teddy bears clutching milk bottles.) I’m not even sensitive to lactose, but I will buy this variety.

For now, Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt only comes in Strawberry, Peach, Cherry, and French Vanilla flavors and not in delicious cake/pie flavors… but as a true stan, I don’t hate, I appreciate, and I will kick the faces of anyone who does otherwise. I decided to sample the Strawberry and Peach ones since those are the sweet flavors that got me through my toughest times in 3rd and 4th grade. OK, not really, but they were always on my after school snack list. Lactose Free Yoplait 99% Fat Free Yogurt boasts that it has 50 percent of your recommended daily value of calcium, so we’re off to a good start. Curious about the other ingredients, I read the label and saw that the only ingredients “not found in regular yogurt” were a lactase enzyme, Tricalcium phosphate and Vitamin D3. Interesting. It appears that the yogurt DOES have lactose, but it also contains an added enzyme to help break it down into nothing. But look, it’s a genius addition, and if anybody complains about it they’re just jealous. I’m going to have Vitamin D3 tattooed on my face so everyone will know I’m down with the Yoplait nutrients.

I was pleased to find that the enzyme did absolutely nothing to change the flavor of the Strawberry and Peach yogurts. Both were sweet and creamy and had a nice smooth texture. You seriously wouldn’t know whether you were eating regular yogurt or “lactose-free” yogurt if it weren’t for the stylish, bright green packaging that proudly proclaims the latter.

I’m sure all this is welcome news for those amongst us with lactose intolerance. Poor devils. Sure, alternative non-dairy yogurt exists — I’ve tried soy, but it’s just not the same. And it’s expensive. Those little beans can be so hard to milk. So now we have an alternative to the alternative. Works out fine because they’re just imitators of the Originator. And as the Yoplait stan that I am, it pains to me say that, price-wise, Yoplait Lactose Free is only slightly less expensive than the non-dairy brands. One thing to consider is that the label may have the word “Free” on it a lot, but the price is 90 cents, which is a little more than I’ve paid for regular or Light Yoplait yogurt in the past. On the bright side, if my insides decide they suddenly can’t process yogurt anymore then I’ll have a reason to keep living because there’s no replacing Yoplait. EVER.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 container (6 ounces) – Strawberry – 170 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 26 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 50% calcium, 50% vitamin D, and 4% iron. Peach – 170 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 26 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 50% calcium, 50% vitamin D, and 4% iron.)

Item: Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt (Peach and Strawberry)
Price: 90 cents
Size: 6 ounces
Purchased at: Ralphs
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Peach)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Strawberry) 
Pros: Yogurt stans. No lactose-related tummy aches. Provides 50% of recommended daily value of Calcium. Tastes like normal yogurt. Lactose Intolerance Awareness Month.
Cons: Gassy teddy bears. Stalking dairy. Slightly pricier than Yoplait Light and regular Yoplait. Lack of cake/pie flavors. Milking beans.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger

The Impulsive Buy — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

To best describe Jack in the Box’s new BLT Cheeseburger, I’d like to use some of the lyrics from this Jack in the Box commercial.

First you take the Jumbo Jack with Cheese.
And then you add strips of bacon and take away the ketchup and onions.
Whaddya get?
BLT Cheeseburger! BLT Cheeseburger! BLT Cheeseburger!

Yes, the Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger is basically a baconized Jumbo Jack with Cheese. If you’ve never had the burger with the alliterated name because you’re hundreds of miles away from a Jack in the Box, let me break it down for you.

A Jumbo Jack with Cheese consists of a beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup, a slice of American cheese, and onion mayo in between a sesame seed bun. A BLT Cheeseburger is made up of a beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, pickles, hickory-smoked bacon, a slice of American Cheese, and onion mayo in between a sesame seed bun. If there was such a thing as fast food DNA, I believe these two burgers would be brothers, sister, brother and sister, or maybe first cousins.

One of the ways Jack in the Box has been promoting the burger is with their Marry Bacon website, which follows some dude named Neal who married bacon. Of course, the whole marrying bacon brings up several questions in my head.

How does a slice of bacon say “I do”? How does the stripper at the bachelorette party give a lap dance to a strip of bacon when it has no lap? How does a strip of bacon throw the bouquet? Does the bridal party consist of pigs or other strips of bacon? Where does a strip of bacon put a wedding garter? If the newlyweds vacation at a beach resort and go sunbathing, will the bacon shrink as it fries in the sun? Also, how does one consummate a marriage to bacon?

I’ll never know the answer to those questions, but I do know the answer to this question: Does the bacon in the BLT Cheeseburger make me want to marry bacon or, at least, fondle a BLT Cheeseburger whenever I’m at a Jack in the Box?

Maybe.

Last year, Jack in the Box started using a different type of bacon and I have to say that it’s an improvement over the old stuff. And thank goodness it is because there’s a lot of bacon in this burger. It’s crispier and its flavor doesn’t get lost behind all the other ingredients, which means it actually makes a meaningful contribution to the flavor of the burger.

This new-ish bacon combined with Jack in the Box’s new beef patties that are seasoned while they cook make the BLT Cheeseburger a decent sandwich. Although, perhaps, the person who made my sandwich went a little overboard with the seasoning because it was awfully salty. The American cheese seems to be there just to keep the bacon from falling out of the burger, since it doesn’t provide much flavor. The pickles and tomatoes make up for the lame vegetation that is the chopped lettuce.

The Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger is a good burger, but it’s around only for a limited time. If you miss out, who knows when or if they’ll bring it back again. Although, if they don’t, you could just purchase a Jumbo Jack with Cheese and order it with bacon.

(Nutrition Facts – 649 calories, 326 calories from fat, 36 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,658 milligrams of sodium, 520 milligrams of potassium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger
Price: $4.99
Size: Small combo
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good. Better bacon. Better beef patties. Lots of bacon. American cheese keeps the bacon from falling out. Part of a decently priced combo.
Cons: It’s pretty much a baconized Jumbo Jack with Cheese. Lettuce is pale and falls out easily. A bit too salty. Marrying bacon.

NEWS: Ritz Crackerfuls To Be Filled With Peanut Butter and/or Chocolate

The Impulsive Buy — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:00:13 +0000

We’ve reviewed several Ritz Crackerfuls varieties over the past few years and they’ve all been filled with cheese. But Nabisco is stuffing their oversized Ritz crackers with something sweet instead of savory.

Ritz Crackerfuls will come in three new varieties: Peanut Butter, Peanut Butter & Chocolate, and Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Extreme Peanut Butter, which has 75 percent more filling than the regular Peanut Butter Ritz Crackerfuls. Ooooh, 75 percent more peanut butter is sooooo “extreme.”

A pack of Peanut Butter Ritz Crackerfuls has 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 190 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein. A pack of Peanut Butter & Chocolate Ritz Crackerfuls has 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 160 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. A pack of Extreme Peanut Butter has 180 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 220 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

*made with partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Wildlicious Wild! Fruit Fusion Pop-Tarts

The Impulsive Buy — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:00:11 +0000

Pop-Tarts are just friggin’ weird. They resemble a tart as much as I look like actor Tom Cruise, or even pre/post-drug fiend Tom Sizemore. The pastry is exactly two ninety degree angles that form an exact rectangle scarier than the black monolith in Kubrick’s classic. Instead of being filled with stars, Dave, it is filled with jam, calories, carbohydrates and sodium. The frosting is shiny like nail polish and is harder than fondant. So yes, this is not health food but its shape does scream convenience.

You won’t find Pop-Tarts in a bakery. When you give them to a child, you can’t help but make the “sorry face.” All the cool kids have the Toaster Strudels but Pop-Tarts have persevered through all of it. These ubiquitous things have remained a part of our existence and I am sure when the Sun starts expanding in its death, the waters on Earth have dried up, all mammals have become pieces of tasty jerky, those Pop-Tarts are still going to survive. I know so.

And as weird as they are, like Tom Sizemore and his old drug habit, I have a strong compulsion to buy any new flavor of Pop-Tarts I see. I just have to. I don’t care if I get mostly disappointed when I eat them. I just need to have them now. It’s the same exact feeling I get when I buy supermarket sushi or when I watch German art films.

I habitually stop by the Pop-Tarts section when I go to down the cereal aisle. To my delight, I saw a box of Wildlicious Wild! Fruit Fusion Pop-Tarts. With a title like that, I was expecting this to rival the KY Jelly Fire and Ice. I could blame The Impulsive Buy and say I bought these because I am obligated to review them. In truth, I would have bought them anyway because I just need to.

From gumdrops to Sunkist, I love all things orange flavored. The fact there is an orange pictured amongst the fruits pictured on the box will probably be the closest thing I will ever get to a marmalade Pop-Tart. To be specific, there is a strawberry and cherry pictured as well. I’m assuming this is the fruit fusion which doesn’t seem that wild but it’s Pop-Tarts we’re talking about here.

Amusing to me, the only fruits listed in the ingredients are cherries and apples. Even more fascinating are the instructions on how to toast your goodies. I’m not sure what it says about its target audience. They even have a diagram to emphasize how to toast these things. More depressing is what does this say about me? I had to toast another because I burned my first pastry.

I normally eat these untoasted but I will review these Pop-Tarts in both the raw and the cooked form.

Unsheathing the treat out of its silver wrapper, it was a bit comical to me how vibrant the colors of the frosting were. It looked like someone slathered mustard on it and then zig zagged ketchup (in true 1950’s kitsch) all over the tart. This thing could double as Jem’s truly outrageous maxi-pad.

In the simplest form, without toasting, the crust is dry as expected. The frosting is the same vague sweet flavor that can be found on all Pop-Tarts with that unnatural sugar shell. The bite is surprisingly a bit tart and not overly sweet. I like it because it is not an abundance of immediate sugar that will numb your tongue.

The jam itself has a strong cherry flavor but I’m not sure if it overwhelmed the orange and strawberry. Not really a surprise since they aren’t listed in the ingredients. I ended up taking a couple more bites and only the tart cherry jam shines through. That is kind of disappointing but the fact that this (let’s face it, these things are really big cookies) is not as sweet as the other flavors is a plus.

Toasted, it smells like baked sugar but not in a welcoming bakery way. It’s just baked sugar. I hate that smell which is why I never toast them, but I’m also lazy. Texture wise, the frosting adds a nice crispness and the jam is even more intense. The taste is improved but not enough for me to bother toasting these things. I’m making a “lazy face” here.

Let’s be honest and come to an agreement that nobody really craves these things. There are better ways to spend 200 calories and the sodium is high enough to offset my blood pressure meds. I can’t tell you how many unfinished boxes of Pop-Tarts I have chucked out. I liked this one despite the repulsive color frosting but will probably not finish the box.

I would still make the “sorry face” if I had to give one to my little niece or any other kids looking for a snack. Yet, I (in a non-committal way) would eat these again as I made the “yeah, I know” face. So yeah reader, I know.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 200 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of Saturated fat, 2 grams if Polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 170 mg of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than one gram of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein)

Item: Kellogg’s Wildlicious Wild! Fruit Fusion Pop-Tarts
Price: $1.99
Size: 14.1 ounces/8 toaster pastries
Purchased: Publix
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: The tart sweetness is a nice change. Easy to hold. Tom Sizemore in Heat. Tom Cruise in Collateral (Michael Mann is the man). Making faces. If you love cherry, you cannot go wrong. Toasting it has a nice texture. 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Cons: No orange flavor. Easy to burn if you’re a dummy like me. Crust is dry but that’s to be expected. Wild frosting does nothing for the Pop-Tart. The color is a bit gross looking. Tom Sizemore in that sex video. Tom Cruise in MI:2. Loaded with sodium, unless you love sodium! 2010: The Year We Make Contact.

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 2/4/2012

The Impulsive Buy — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

A Wienerschnitzel Junkyard Dog comes with chili, cheese, onions, fries, and mustard. Sadly, it does not come with a wheel from a 1970′s Datsun Sunny. (via An Immovable Feast)

The British sure love mystery. They gave us Sherlock Holmes and the PBS show Mystery! I wouldn’t be surprised if the Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine was a Vauxhall. Now the British have mystery flavored potato chips. (via Foodstuff Finds)

Here’s a fun little game: Get completely wasted and try to click one of the links in this sentence that lead to the alcohol-related candy reviews Candyblog posted this past week. (via Candyblog)

Trader Joe’s Choczilla Nut Pie makes me giggle. Perhaps it’s because choczilla, nut, and pie have all been used in porn titles. (via What’s Good at Trader Joe’s)

If you hear the name Sweet Blossom Lavender Flowers and think it’s either a women’s deodorant or perfume, you’d be wrong. (via Thirsty Dudes)

Image via flickr user Hugo90 / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Bacon Shake

The Impulsive Buy — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 06:10:06 +0000

Jack in the Box’s new Bacon Shake is damn intriguing, but it also sounds gross and I’m scared of it. I’m pretty sure I’m afraid of it because I haven’t gotten over that time I spent with my lips around a Jones Bacon Soda.

Oh dear, I just gagged. Will these emotional scars ever heal?

The Jack in the Box Bacon Shake isn’t like the Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae we reviewed last year, which was topped with real chopped bacon. Instead, the Bacon Shake uses bacon-flavored Torani syrup, which is blended with vanilla ice cream.

To maximize the unusualness of the bacon shake, I hoped the suckable dessert was bacon colored, but as you can see in the picture on the right, the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake looks as harmless as a vanilla milkshake. It’s not even raw bacon pink.

The bacon-flavored shake also smells harmless. There’s a very slight hint of smokiness, but not enough to cause a bunch of red flags to pop up in your head. When I ordered my shake, I was asked if I wanted whipped cream and a cherry on top. I said yes and then asked if I could also get chopped bacon on top of that. The Jack in the Box employee laughed and then said “I’m sorry, no.” A part of me wanted to slam both hands on the counter and yell, “I’m not going to settle for that answer!”

I find it a little strange the shake didn’t come with bacon sprinkled on top of it. Every Jack in the Box restaurant has the means to fry up bacon and chop it up, so why not take that extra step and add a little texture to the shake? It would’ve made this bacon shake many times more fascinating.

Many of you might be expecting me to say the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake is repulsive, but, surprisingly, it’s not. Although I have to admit it was slightly off-putting at first. But the more I ate, the more I enjoyed the bacon flavor of the shake, which wasn’t anything close to being overpowering. Instead it had a very mild smokiness, albeit an artificial smokiness. The weirdest thing about this shake (yes, weirder than the fact it’s bacon flavored) is the way it ends up tasting like coffee at the back end.

Overall, I wouldn’t call the Jack in the Box Bacon Shake “scrumptious,” but I also wouldn’t call it “revolting.” I think “pleasant” would be the best word I could use to describe it. If you’re REALLY into bacon, you should definitely give it a try. Would I buy another? I probably would. Although, if it came topped with chopped bacon, I’d change my answer to most definitely.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces/regular size – 773 calories, 358 calories from fat, 40 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 2 gram of trans fat, 127 milligrams of cholesterol, 319 milligrams of sodium, 691 milligrams of potassium, 89 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 75 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.)

Item: Jack in the Box Bacon Shake
Price: $3.99
Size: Regular
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Not revolting. Pleasant flavor. Creamy. Tastes like coffee at the back end of the flavor. Bacon lovers will probably enjoy it.
Cons: Not sprinkled with chopped bacon. Might be gross to some people. There’s no signage for it in restaurants. Not bacon colored. The deep emotional scars from drinking a Jones Bacon Soda two years ago.

NEWS: Jack in the Box’s Bacon Shake Sounds Like It Will Shake My Tongue and Stomach

The Impulsive Buy — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:11:14 +0000

Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box Bacon Shake review

Denny’s combined ice cream and bacon. And now Jack in the Box is getting into the act with their Bacon Shake. However, unlike Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae which was topped with chopped bacon, Jack’s Bacon Shake uses a bacon-flavored syrup.

Bacon-flavored syrup…I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

According to Jack in the Box’s Marry Bacon website:

The bacon shake is limited as limited can be. There’s no telling when it might disappear, so go get one right now. Right now at participating restaurants.

Grub Grade just posted pictures of it.

Image via flickr user jshontz / CC BY 2.0

NEWS: The BLT in Jack in the Box’s New BLT Cheeseburger Could Mean Boring, Lame, and Tiresome

The Impulsive Buy — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:33:40 +0000

Update: Click here to read our Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger review

I’m greatly disappointed Jack in the Box’s new BLT Cheeseburger doesn’t consist of a beef patty and cheese placed in between two BLT sandwiches.

That would get me excited and nutrition groups upset about this new burger. Instead, it’s just a burger that uses Jack in the Box’s improved 100 percent beef patty and is topped with hickory-smoked bacon, shredded lettuce, tomatoes, American cheese, pickles, and a mayo-onion sauce, all of which is in between a sesame seed bun.

Sigh.

So if I were to take away the ketchup and onions in a Jack in the Box Jumbo Jack with Cheese and replace it with bacon, I’d have a BLT Cheeseburger.

Sigh.

Well, the Super Bowl commercial that’s promoting this BLT Cheeseburger better be more creative that the burger itself.

The Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger will be available for a limited time starting today and comes in a combo meal that also includes a 20-ounce drink and small fries for $4.99.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Subway Gift Card Winner!

The Impulsive Buy — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 09:55:57 +0000

Here’s the winner of last month’s Subway gift card prize drawing:

Christian

Congratulations, Christian! Twenty-five dollars will buy you a lot of tuna on wheat with mustard, lettuce, tomato, green peppers, cucumber, and extra hot peppers.

Thanks to everyone who participated and be on the lookout for a new prize drawing later this month.

REVIEW: Post Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends

The Impulsive Buy — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:23:30 +0000

Maybe it’s just me, but the combination of banana and blueberry seems weird.

Sure, the alliteration makes them sound like they belong together, but not even Yoplait has used this fruit combination in one of their yogurts. And Yoplait has stuffed almost every interfruity marriage into their conic containers that are impossible to eat out of if you have a large spoon.

Maybe Yoplait doesn’t combine them because when they tried to, it created something so unholy that it caused every Yoplait employee to simultaneously yell out, “sacrebleu.”

Because of my uncertainty with the banana/blueberry fusion, I opened the Post Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends cereal with some trepidation. The last time any cereal gave me this much fear was when I ripped open a box of All-Bran cereal to help me with constipation.

Oh wait, there was also that time I ate this cereal while driving to work.

When I tore open the packaging inside the Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends box, an aroma that smelled similar to a blueberry muffin wafted out of it. The pleasant aroma did ease whatever fears I had about combining bananas with blueberries and it also made me say, “sacrebleu.”

The cereal is made up of crispy banana flavored flakes and crunchy blueberry flavored granola clusters. However, while all the granola clusters were blueberry flavored, not all of the crispy flakes were banana flavored, which caused some flavor inconsistencies.

Some spoonfuls had a noticeable banana flavor, but to taste the banana with other spoonfuls I had to concentrate hard, as if I’m trying to recall the multiplication table in order to show a sixth grader that I’m smarter than him. And during that time of deep concentration all the crispy flakes turned limp and soggy while sitting in the milk and my head began to hurt. I don’t like having to think when eating cereal. It’s why I don’t solve any of the word find puzzles or mazes on the back of kids cereal boxes or read Highlights Magazine when eating cereal. When I did taste the banana, it was that familiar artificial banana flavor that I know and love from banana flavored candy and Slurpees.

What makes Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends really good are the crunchy blueberry clusters. Spoonfuls without them make me want to put down the bowl of cereal, slide it away from me, and then let out a disgusted “nay.” But, thankfully, there were a lot of blueberry clusters. The blueberry flavor was sweet, non-overpowering, and seeped into the milk while I was concentrating on the banana flavor.

Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends is a really good cereal. Sure, it has as much actual fruit in it than a strawberry soda, but it’s fortified with a bunch of vitamins and minerals. But despite the lack of fruit and inconsistent banana flavor, I have to say it’s now one of my favorite Honey Bunches of Oats varieties.

Sacrebleu!

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) 120 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 18 grams of other carbohydrates, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp

Item: Post Honey Bunches of Oats Banana Blueberry Fruit Blends
Price: $2.99
Size: 14.5 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: One of my favorite Honey Bunches of Oats varieties. Smells like blueberry muffins. Blueberry clusters gave the cereal a nice crunch, which makes up for the soggy flakes. Nice blueberry flavor. Contains vitamins and minerals. Blueberry milk.
Cons: Inconsistent banana flavor. Crispy flakes don’t stay crispy for long in milk. Doesn’t contain actual fruit, just natural flavors. Being dumber than a sixth grader.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)

The Impulsive Buy — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:30:25 +0000

I once had a vivid dream that I traveled back in time to 1980. I don’t exactly remember why I’d chosen to time travel to that particular year, but I do recall being acutely aware that I had to avoid running into my parents at any cost. I also recall eating at a McDonald’s and being freaked out that I received my fast food in un-biodegradable Styrofoam containers. Faster than you could say “Marty McFly,” my alarm clock started buzzing, and I was whisked from my 80’s dream world, back to the present. I still have no idea what instigated my impromptu fast food run across the space-time continuum. Guess I was seriously jonesin’ for some junk food.

Which brings us to Doritos. Thanks to them, not only can we time travel in our sleep, we can also time travel at snack time! Old-timey, discontinued flavors, Sour Cream and Onion and Salsa Rio Doritos are out once again, sold in jaunty retro packaging, which I am assuming is Doritos’ attempt to duplicate the success of its re-released, late-60s era “Taco Flavor.”

Sour Cream and Onion Doritos were originally introduced in the early 80’s (… so I guess that means I could’ve bought some of those in my dream instead of destroying the environment with Mickey D’s). It’s strange that the Doritos people think we’d want that flavor again NOW, especially considering that we already have, like, eight thousand other Doritos flavors that more or less duplicate or improve upon the simplicity of sour cream and onion. Anyway, having come back to us now in the 21st century, Sour Cream and Onion Doritos have a robust onion flavor, which is balanced nicely by the sour cream taste. Not bad. But I can’t really tell the difference between this and Cool Ranch — a fact that does little to convince me that this flavor needed to be re-released.

Salsa Rio Doritos are also visitors from the recent past… this time, from the late 80s. And we all know how awesome the late 80s were! I’m looking at you, Gorbachev! Just like glasnost, Salsa Rio Doritos are bold and delicious. These chips approximate the flavor of fresh tomato salsa with chopped onion very well and even have a little kick of heat. It’s interesting to note that this flavor had the shortest shelf life of the two when it was first introduced 25 years ago. Maybe people were too busy being coked up and rocking out in their leggings and Members Only jackets to Terence Trent D’Arby to go shopping for salsa-flavored tortilla chips.

I posit that Sour Cream and Onion and Salsa Rio Doritos have come in special Limited Edition retro bags so that they will attract more attention. Well, it worked. I like the detail and both flavors make charming little additions to the Doritos flavor spectrum, even if their Limited Edition status means they won’t be around forever. Not unlike Terence Trent D’Arby.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bag (28g) – Sour Cream & Onion – 290 calories, 17 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 4 grams of protein. Salsa Rio – 290 calories, 16 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 4 grams of protein)

Other Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)
Junk Food Guy (Salsa Rio)
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp
Food Junk (Sour Cream & Onion)
Fatguy Food Blog (Sour Cream & Onion)

Item: Limited Edition Doritos (Sour Cream and Onion & Salsa Rio)
Price: $1.09 (on sale)
Size: 1 ounce 
Purchased at: CVS 
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Sour Cream and Onion)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Salsa Rio)
Pros: Time traveling in your sleep. Retro packaging. Two swell additions to the pantheon of flavored tortilla chips. Delicious, fresh tomato salsa flavor. Glasnost. Terence Trent D’Arby.
Cons: Styrofoam fast food containers. Being too coked up to care about salsa. Sour Cream and Onion tastes similar to Cool Ranch. “Limited Edition” means these Doritos won’t be around forever.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal

The Impulsive Buy — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 10:00:42 +0000

Faithful TIB readers will recall Jasper reviewing Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Cereal, stating that while it wasn’t exactly an “adult” cereal, it was tasty without making him feel like the 11-year-old that he actually is (probably) (just kidding, Jasper!). I read that with great interest, then scooped up a box of Krave Double Chocolate at the first opportunity, determined to see whether upping the chocolate quotient would make me less wizened and grinch-like. While I’m still cursing at people who don’t use their turn signals, I have noticed a 54 percent decrease in shuffling, complaining about the chill, and watching Jay Leno, so I’m going to call this one a success!

On opening the box and taking a whiff, I was greeted with a vague chocolate smell, similar but not entirely like other chocolate cereals like Cocoa Pebbles or Cocoa Puffs. Even holding a piece right up to my nose, it’s not as powerful a scent as I would have expected out of double chocolate anything; but the smell may just be locked in by a non-nutritive cereal varnish, semi-permeable but not osmotic, which coats and seals the piece. Regardless, I started by trying a few pieces dry, and I was happy with what I experienced. The cereal bits are suitably crunchy without being too hard or jagged edged, and the small burst of chocolate inside hits you like a little surprise a second or two after your taste buds have registered the outer layer. It’s a well timed one-two punch, with the outer part being a bit of a subtler, less intense chocolate, but the inner component being richer. High marks all around.

Given that, I was really eager to get the milk on and see how I liked them. Regrettably, I have to report that while milk is almost always an improvement to cereal, it had the opposite effect on Double Chocolate Krave. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still flavorful, but almost too much so — my teeth seemed to be on the verge of hurting with every bite. My suspicion is that when the milk penetrates to the inside layer of chocolate, it turns it more liquidy; and while you’d think that would be a good thing, it actually makes it overly chocolate-y, if such a thing is possible. I mean, I have a sweet tooth and all, but a 17-year-old girl who got dumped a week before prom would say this was a little too much chocolate. I feel like I visited a guy on the street corner looking for an ounce of weed and he injected me with black tar heroin.

Aside from the flavor, I found that they didn’t stay crunchy in milk very well at all — a mere five minutes of soaking reduced them to the firmness of a mushy banana, so either they don’t maintain consistency or someone at the grocery store is slipping acid into my milk. Probably both. (I have a lot of enemies.) Since Jasper reported that the uni-chocolate variety held its crunchiness pretty well in milk, I’m wondering if it’s something to do with the different outer layers — maybe nutella and whatever else is in the casing of the regular variety is better at saying no than chocolate, the village bicycle.

While I can only give Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate a moderate score due to its overpowering taste and loose consistency in milk, I’d definitely recommend picking some up to eat dry as a party snack or something. All told, it appears to simply be that rare cereal that’s better without the milk. The back of the box makes reference to “chocovores,” so I guess I’m just one of those chocovores who likes his meals raw and unseasoned. Grrrrr.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 120 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp

Item: Kellogg’s Krave Double Chocolate Cereal
Price: $3.99
Size: 11 ounces
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes great dry. Good crunch. Not overpowering scent. Nice one-two chocolate flavor combo. Satisfying your chocolate craving for the next five years. Would probably make for a good party snack food.
Cons: Milk somehow makes it too sweet and chocolate-y. People who don’t use their turn signals. Gets soggy quickly. They misspelled “crave.” Being the only product in the world where more chocolate is a bad thing. Comparing chocolate to hardcore drugs.

NEWS: Sadly, Dunkin’ Donuts New Bakery Sandwiches Don’t Use Donuts As Buns

The Impulsive Buy — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:13:50 +0000

The folks over at Fast Food Geek reviewed Dunkin’ Donuts’ new Bakery Sandwiches, which come in two varieties: Ham & Cheese and Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon.

The Ham & Cheese is made up of sliced ham with white cheddar on a French roll, while the Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon consists of sliced turkey, cherrywood smoked bacon and white cheddar cheese on a French roll. The new Bakery Sandwiches join the Texas Toast Grilled Cheese Sandwich on the after-breakfast menu.

But, seriously, Bakery Sandwiches? BORING! Come on, Dunkin’ Donuts! Come on over to the dark side and break the 1,000 calorie mark with a sandwich that combines a sausage patty, bacon, eggs, and several slices of cheese in between one of your glazed donuts. Oh, it would be so good…and evil. It feels good to be evil once in a while.

A Ham & Cheese has 440 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1380 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 24 grams of protein. A Turkey, Cheddar & Bacon has 470 calories, 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1380 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 28 grams of protein.

Image via flickr user shinya / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet

The Impulsive Buy — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:38:47 +0000

Wrigley says their new Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum is made up of the flavors orange, lemon, and lime. So I was hoping a stick of it would look like a vertical strip cut off from a Rastafarian flag, but it was just pink.

Of course, I should’ve easily guessed the gum’s color because the packaging has so much pink that I’m disappointed the profits from this gum don’t go to breast cancer research.

To be honest, I had forgotten what rainbow sherbet tastes like so I headed to the nearest supermarket to pick some up. Unfortunately, all the store had was a 4-quart pail of rainbow sherbet, so if you invite me to your Super Bowl party, guess what I’m bringing.

After chewing on a piece of Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum and eating a little rainbow sherbet straight from the 4-quart pail using the smallest spoon I could find, I thought the gum didn’t really taste like rainbow sherbet. Instead it had a generic mild citrus flavor, which eventually became more lime-ish the more chewed on it. I also noticed the sherbet has a sourness that the gum lacks.

With all of that said, I have to say the Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet gum has a good flavor, even though it’s not rainbow sherbet. It’s a pleasant soft chew and the flavor lasts for a decent amount of time.

And thank goodness it has all of these traits because it seems it’s only available in packs of three. So if this gum sucked, guess what I also would’ve brought to your Super Bowl party.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Extra Dessert Delights Rainbow Sherbet
Price: $2.17
Size: 3 pack/15 sticks
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good flavor. Sugar free. Low calorie. Pleasant chew. Flavor lasts. Being irie. Super Bowl parties.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like rainbow sherbet. Having to buy a 4-quart pail of rainbow sherbet. Gum is not multicolored. Lot of pink, but no money going to breast cancer research.