Again i know but what to do, if you have the time you best get to doing something before you join the devil’s tool kit.

Looks awesome does it not?

Meanwhile some lolcats to distract you if you think the header is an unspeakable monstrosity.

*dead* I know this is not twitter but, anyhow, more dead.

Ok ok! Just one more, pretty please?

The one @estoni was talking about @kenyanpundit on Twitter yesterday evening.

Then there is this i got off Twitter this morning:

I laughed out loud: Tips to beat the credit crunch …
DON’T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

DON’T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by changing your name to match your existing plate. – Mr. XYZ 741 GP ,

DON’T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

AN empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner’s hat.

HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in
your coat pocket.

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don’t know.

SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

CAN’T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.

MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.

SHOPPERS, when buying oranges and bananas, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.

WOMEN: Don’t waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn’t care less anyway and you could use the saved energy to Hoover the house afterwards

Notice the distinct lack of cussing in this post? I must be losing my mind faster than i thought.

| Crying ^ Roy Orbison |

This article was previously published on May 28, 2009.

Right. So i am thinking its been a while since i was last here judging from the level of dust in this maafaka, then again it is always quite dusty and unruly in here so i guess no one will notice. Well so i have been quite busy though i cannot say for sure what i have been doing it being a matter of national security, such is the nature of stuff since 7/8 and what not, since the Americans like the big stars, [insert any here] since i am as knowledgeable about celebrity stuff as i am about being an astronaut i shall stop right there and not make a fool of myself as other celebrities are wont to do.

Wait, i has a lolcatpikshure to use in this space.

Now where were we? Yes, there was not one, but two attempts on my life this morning. I swear somebody is trying to kill me. Really. How would you explain a certain white van veering across again, not one but two lanes onto mine, scratching some paint off my bumper and depositing me and Mona, wait, we hopped onto the pavement just in the nick of time, to avoid certain death as the van sideswiped us right into next week! And the gall of the man, using children as shields. I most certainly gave him a piece of my mind after i chased him down and forced gently encouraged him to get off the road and blocked requested that he not move an inch as i gave him a piece of my mind. I am quite hoping the children got to school safe.

Then shortly after i got back onto the road a few kilometres down the road another idiot trying some stunts decided to test the limits of his 4×4 double cabin pick up on a roundabout i was on prompting me and mona to hitch up our skirts and scramble onto said roundabout to avoid being turned into scrap metal. He proceeded to understeer past the roundabout and steadied his car on some pillars on the opposite side of the roundabout before he overcorrected and ended up doing two 360s before he came to a stop on two wheels. Lucky bastard! His only damage was a missing bumper and scratches down one side of his car. Perhaps a puncure. Drove past him and headed on to work like nothing ever happened because i am cool like that.

So you see guys, you need to try harder, assasinating me is quite difficult, this i know, just dont ask me how i found out. Here is to a drama free rest of Hump day, get it? Hump? Well, you can not say i did not try. Sigh.

More lolcat pikshure? I have maaaaaany! *that last maaaany bit reminds me of some person i may or might not know..*

Follow me on Twitter for minute to minute updates on my life’s minutiae entertainment.

| One Thing ^ Amerie |

Now since i missed an invite to the premier iHubnairobi launch event of the day i shall sit about over here watching TV and regaling you lot with the most minute minutiae of my life currently and the current search for a one in all cell service provider.

You may proceed at your leisure to forget about the first bit since i shall not be telling you waste about it, at least for now. And no, this post shall not be funny, or make any sense whatsoever. I am just hitting my keyboard in the hope that something i can post shows up. Now, where was i? Right.

The current main contender is Zain. I love to text, i hate calling or getting called, in fact i should shortly block all voice calls from this line, they tend to interfere with my current love which happens to be TV watching, i do that to block out all the voices in my head calling me to dark places, reminding me of stuff which i would much rather not be thinking of but i digress. Text, yes Club 20 rocks my world right now, UNLIMITED, wait, no, 300 texts in a 24 hour period. Not that i would ever send more than that but just try me, i have yet to count but i suspect i might come as close as possible to breaching that, i do have paragraphs in my Texts, i am hot like that. Their customer care once you figure out what number they are currently using are extremely helpful and most times can by the time you are done with the call have sorted out your problem.

Safaricom who have me by the ‘batteries’ line up a close second because i have had that line since the days they were 072. Anyone here from those days here, put up your hand, not that one, the left one, you have to use the mouse with the other. Sigh. MPESA is pretty much the only reason i have this line since that is the lifeline to my family who do their best to squeeze all my measly pay, that the government has equitably divided between us yet they haven’t shown me a reason why they must reside in my pocket. Was just on the phone now i have forgotted what i was supposed to be saying. Oh, data! Undeniably they have the fastest mobile data network in Kenya, in my experience at least as such i have a dedicated data line just for this which i haven’t topped up recently, budget constraints. Use the land-line numbers to reach them since 100 unreachable, will do their best to solve the problem and always will call you back with a resolution within 24 hours. Oh, and i almost forgot. Their recent 15 sms for 10 bob shillings and 5 sms for 5 bob shillings is extremely stupid. 15 texts, only? Plus you do not give me the option to buy more bundle within a 24 hour period? How stunted is that? Sheeet!

Orange, they have a decent product out. I love their SMS packages, voice is reasonable too, data packages are well priced and moderately quick but i would keep them on a tight prepaid leash. I had a contracted 12 months that i would never wish on my worst enemies, lost credit, late credit and basic network issues had me almost chomp off my own hand, they are still a parastatal no matter what they call themselves, customer care is there just to be there and are the most unhelpful people on the planet. Don’t bother calling them, they will introduce new problems with your line in addition to the ones you were already experiencing.

I have had limited contact with YU but so far i haven’t experienced a problem with their voice or text services, they currently offer unlimited talk time and well priced texts in my opinion is a good thing, unfortunately their Internet is extremely wanting. It gives you the image of them leasing a 128k line and using that to serve Internet to the entire population of Kenya. But maybe that is just me, have they recently improved anything? They also need to throw out sim cards at random and let people know that they exist, shortly it shall be THE network to be on. Their customer care is a tad too enthusiastic and that is spooky, turn it down.

I would like to have a company come up with a simple package for me:
• Unlimited data for use at home and on the road.
• Unlimited texts to all networks.
• A predetermined number of minutes to all networks that carry over in case i didn’t use them which would most likely be the case as i pretty much hate telephone calls but at times of emergency i might need to set that aside.

That is not unreasonable, for a reasonable amount per month and i would sell my left kidney to sign on. And on that number portability thing for later this year, i cannot wait to use my YU number on all networks. That would be awesome!

And Safaricom, i was about to hit my budget with the 4k for unlimited Internets and would have gladly paid that for the rest of the year, now i have to take my 4k and try and get Zuku cable internet hooked up to my house instead.

| Blue Angel ^ Roy Orbison |

I would sooner shoot myself than admit that i lack material to put on this space, but seeing as there isnt a gun in my hand and my head is still firmly attached to my torso, which in turn is not prostate on pavement and said head is intact, just proves that i could not get a gun, so whatever.

Meanwhile i managed to stop myself from writing some depressed shit and thought to bring this #avitzisnotacar tag and give it a permanent home here on my blog. Sure, bow and prostate yourselves in my awesomeness, thank me later, sexual favours a plus, mind.

@SupremeGREAM: What you need to tow a vitz. nothing. just nudge it. #Avitzisnotacar i feel guilty for it though

@MoSande: Something in my shoe bothering my foot. Took off the shoe & out fell the Vitz. #AVitzIsNotACar

@roomthinker: Toothpicks are not effective at removing material lodged in teeth. Some things like a Vitz will need floss #AVitzIsNotACar

@veelites: A convoy of Vitz in the Mara is called Safari Ants #AVitzIsNotACar

@roomthinker: From 2010 instead of silica gell pellets, shoe manufacturers will be packing shoes with a Vitz to cut costs #AVitzIsNotACar

@inteligensia: My contribution to #avitzisnotacar (video) http://bit.ly/6T6VR1 It can’t play rock music to save it’s life.

@roomthinker: Try not to keep your Vitz in the same pocket with coins. The noise is distracting when you walk #AVitzIsNotACar

@gichingiri: Toyota Vitz do not come in ordinary colours, they’re all similar to nail polish tones #AVitzIsNotACar

@roomthinker: The robot that turns into a Vitz was rejected by the Autobots. Said Optimus: “Dude, turn into a CAR!” #AVitzIsNotACar

I swear there was more till i broke Twitter while searching for them and now it shall not give them up, that means homework for you lot, look here for more later (link), in case Twitter magically unbreaks or something. Have fun now, and a lovely hump day too, if you care for that sort of thing.

Once upon a time I understand the men and women of this so-called human race were virile, fecund, lush of womb and testicle and procreated like their survival depended upon it, and it did, back then. With time and such little effort, they copulated without a care or a thought to encumbrances due to an excessive abundance of resource, varied fare of receptacle and stick, and of bountiful provender and refreshment in fruit ripe or barely so, plucked with great abandon, cherries popped with the shout and pomp of uncorking of champagne bottles at a ball and they proceeded to choke the earth full of their mostly proscribed offspring.

This is happily no longer the case, with the introduction of the mobile microwave, sorry, mobile telephone, gynaecologists and some folks whose titles rhyme with proctor have assured me that this device makes you increasingly senile each moment you use it and shortly after you stuff it into your pocket next to the family jewels they are cooked to a fine consistency, or for the ladies whose telephones reside in purses hovering about their ovarian sacs are treated to a reheat cycle of their progeny accompanying their walk across town.

In the past few months I have observed a number of humans and I have noticed a few things that i find rather deleterious in their behaviour when they happen to be in possession of or in close proximity to this gadget;

1. Fire! More fire!
These are the ones who due to insufficient signal strength due to the judicious placement of base-stations at the maximum possible distances from each other to maximise coverage while minimising the perspicuity of conversations held on said network while enhancing profits by ensuring the first five minutes in every conversation are spent yelling, “Hello! Hello! Can you hear me? How about now?” while walking every which way but straight up into the stratosphere, or holding the phone over their heads, much like revellers at a concert when the artiste on stage beckons them to add more fire or something to that effect, trying to determine where the signal is strong enough to sustain a conversation before gathering the pluck to attempt said and shortly venture upon pleasantries.

This method also works for messages “stuck” on the network days after the sender has called and concluded the business that was being conveyed in the tardy message. The same herd of humans are those who shall not rest till they see that all the bars on the signal meter are lit up indicating maximum possible level. They are to be seen shuffling about tripping over potted plants and squishing previously much loved pets and knocking unfortunate trinkets and family photos off shelves and window sills while hunting for the one elusive bar. They may mark ‘X’es on the spots with full or greater signal strength for future reference. In a corner of their living rooms there lies a piece of furniture which gallantly tried to support their weight on one such sojourn but fell fantastically short at the task.

2. Really? Hun, did you pick up my Mercedes from D.T. Dobie?
There are those extremely annoying ilk that are gifted with the gift of gab. One sided of course. Others might expound and proceed to refer to them as kings and masters of monologue, works of art, which they share quite liberally with everyone within and way past a reasonable range of earshot. They take immense pride in name dropping or adding choice phrases into their conversations in a spirited endeavour to elevate their social standing.

I demonstrate; “I thought told you this morning to send the driver to pick up my Mercedes from D.T. Dobie!” or “Sure honey, could you tell Nameless to move up our dinner from Thursday to Wednesday night? Do tell him that we would quite welcome Wahu and the little one, in fact I insist that they must come with her!” leaving the audience with no doubt that they are indeed a person of prestige, then at that instant the instrument they are busy talking into starts ringing loudly. I strenuously recommend that you dispossess the offender of the instrument and introduce it to non-pliant areas of their anatomy ensuring that said device meets their person at speeds greater than terminal velocity.

3. Mobile, mobile telephone warehouses.
I have observed with increasing trepidation the progression on the promulgation of mobile telephone handsets and the unremitting growth and increase in the number and variety of telephone companies peddling lines, made worse by new tariff structures which prove advantageous at certain times of the day forcing the hapless consumer to buy several handsets in pursuance of the cheapest possible phone call at any particular time. I have observed a victim juggling four telephone handsets, three of which were engaged in a ringing competition while he was trying to dismiss a fourth caller, and a fifth who was on call waiting on the same line.

There are the closet warehousers that choose to hide theirs under their sweaters, in the various pockets of a coat, in the dark recesses of their humongous bags, or secreted in their socks. I have had the misfortune run into one, in a most undignified fashion when they stopped dead in their tracks, right in front of me and bending over to retrieve the instrument from the woolly extremities forcing me to bump into their posterior, which I must say was rather too pliant for my distinguished tastes. They do not fool me, every time a phone rings they pat themselves down or dumpster dive in the purse so efficiently that they should be employed by the night clubs who at the moment are finding it hard to find well trained staff capable of finding whole litre bottles of cheap vodka on the persons and in most handbags conveyed by their patrons.

4. Who is the fairest of them all?
In my extensive travels I have found that there are some members of this incredibly fascinating race who still insist on carrying this instrument around even when they do not receive more than one text message or call in a given month. Instead they carry about a fully charged example of the instrument to provide a source of light to bring emergency source of light to dark corridors, steps and selected streets that when the city council in its eagerness to light up the streets end up lighting them on the wrong side of moon. Said specimens have shown that they are not averse to using said object in a dimly lit club, to ascertain the time on their wristwatches; does the phone itself not have a built in clock? Oh, then this lot will walk around patting themselves hoping to find a new email, text message or call vibrating the instrument. I propose that the vibration that this device engages to alert them of an event provides a sensation that may not be polite enough to be mentioned on this blog. Ahem.

Then I met a number of them who every three seconds would pull the phone out of its receptacle, wherever that was, and proceed to poke and prod it searching for a text message or call that they might have missed. I wonder if this is actually to see whether they did receive a text or is it attention-seeking behaviour, which would ultimately ensure that all present in the room shall have a good view of said instrument, more than once every five minutes. I would also endeavour to include the sods who on arriving at a meeting, be it in a restaurant, conference room or even in a garden setting shall proceed to empty their pockets onto the table, lining up the devices and then looking across to you with a triumphant look in their eager eyes. Trump these ones by not adorning the table with similar instruments, better still, you could introduce a big red rotary telephone and plonk it as hard as you can muster on top of theirs. Why remove them from their perfectly cosy perches and proceed to perch it on hard, cold surfaces exposed to extremes, and increase their chances of taking a sip of your spilled coffee?

5. Zombies, the unreachable and electricity thieves.
There is this lot who are still confused as to whether their heads are receptacles for their limited volume of brain matter or the essential bits of a ramrod. These are mostly found ambling aimlessly around in a semi stupor running into all forms of road furniture benches and trash cans are not spared the carnage as they are mercilessly kicked under passing buses.

This is the same specimen who can text so fast and effortlessly that they are rumoured to be all thumbs. Imagine that, ten thumbs, the possibilities for texting, chat and checking and replying to email are virtually infinite, so are the hospital bills and their new insurance rate after they put in a claim to their insurance broker, on more than one occasion claiming injuries related to walking out of a moving bus while otherwise engaged in replying to an email that would have well waited till the bus was stationary.

There is another misguided group of this herd which always fails to charge their instrument on any one evening and spend most of their day looking for a socket to plug in their charger, which they never fail to ever carry for some reason, or their phone over-stretching the resources of their service provider as the lady in the exchange keeps telling their callers about how the telephone is off or out of coverage area, sometimes in more than one language!

Villains and Zeroes
There are those who text while driving and those who play music without the facility of headphones needed to ensure private listening. I need not mention these miscreants as I understand they have a price on their heads and several strapping bounty hunters are searching for them and they are preferred dead on delivery as they would not be paid otherwise. We need not encourage them, at the moment they are an endangered species, their elimination is the sure goal that we strive to achieve.

Natural selection hopefully shall eliminate these ones before we do get a go a them though.

| Underneath Your Clothes ^ Shakira [acoustic]|

From another life, and my convoluted mind.

There seemed to have been a battle between my favourite toy, Tickle me Elmo and my favourite computer, the Mac Mini, seems that Elmo may have come a cropper! The aftermath…

He looks harmless enough. Although even here he is still trying to kick the Mac. Not like kicking a habit but physically, you understand.

Elmo: You are not going to take me ALIVE!!!
Mac: What are you on about? You are on my TURF now!
Elmo: **fighting back as he is knocked over by the monitor** No way jose! Grunt!

Vicious Elmo killing machine. When it is not busy being a supercomputer.

Mac: Grrrrrrrr!! You think you are slick huh? **he lifts his keyboard and snags Elmo’s foot on the mouse cable but he gets away.**
**Elmo makes a second rush at the monitor hoping to decapitate it with a clothesline manouvre…**

Elmo: Aiiiiiiiiiiiii!! What in fuck!! **as he slips on one “backed up” dvd i left on the desk **the one of Need for speed underground** and trips on the keyboard and cracks his head on the corner of the monitor and lands with a great thud on the Mac Mini, prostated and stunned from his close and harrowingly loud encounter with the monitor.

Mac: Idiot! Got you NOW!! **quickly slips its power cable around the throat of Elmo making an attempt at strangling him…..**

…i happen upon this scene as i walk in off the balcony when the battery charger was just edging its way out from under Elmo complaining of being trodden and lain upon while enjoying its annual hibernation…CLICK and FLASH!!!

| TIA ^ Knaan |

Once upon a time i was a person who wrote stuff. Important shit. Stuff that for the life of me i cannot recall. I know this makes me sound pathetic and whiny but i do not fucking care. I have cared for far too long what i put up here in this space and i find, rather painfully that it has not been constructive. I have opinions about everything, from cars and news articles to what i feel about the fucking Americans bombing the frickin moon and i shall feel free to share, no matter in what light they paint me in.

For those who did not bother to read my entire rant up there or could not follow my train of thought up there, this is my space, i say what i want to say, if you think otherwise let me know in the comments, we shall learn, together, sharing, discussing, getting into fist fights, having a debate, whatever goes here people, feel free to share, i shall try as much as possible to accommodate all y’all.

I do so miss the days of old, the tussles the vibrant blogging community which has all but fallen into an abyss, not much to read about these days in the Kenyan spheres, unless i am mistaken, point me in the direction of the latest best regular bloggers, i shall for long as there be breath in me point a light in their direction, company of my peers is getting scant and i shall do my darndest to keep those that remain in this “hobby” as its described, rolling forward.

I find Blogging therapeutic, in which case i, to the detriment of my mental health, and the sad demise of a few relationships including one with the Compiler which i am working on, growing closer and closer to Him each day, with each prayer, each act try as much as possible to be the man he created me to be, an example and a light to all who shall chance to meet me, work with me, read me, twitter with me, and such like, see me and see God in me, wholly and without reservation.

For those of my readers who have come to love the laughter that these here pages transmit on the rare occasion that they have something new, i promise to continue on that vein. Though there may be less of a picture of a lolcat or a video, there will always be something to smile about whenever you see a new post appearing in your favourite RSS reader.

| Fuck me Pumps ^ Amy Winehouse |

Follow the heck out of me on Twitter!

I found this courtesy of @thebloggess who happens to be a totally hilarious blogger and an even more awesome Tweep. I have replayed this so much i am sure Google shall shortly be at my door with a DVD of the same so that they may recover the bandwidth i am currently hogging. I hope you enjoy it as much as i do!

Then my love for cats, the distinct and loud missing LOL cat pikshures notwithstanding, here is one more gem of awesomeness. I could watch this forever. Meanwhile i think i have found my Zen, this time i am keeping it under lock and key, we cant have it loitering aimlessly all over the place!

You may follow me on Twitter for more ridiculousness in real-time here. Plus, a PRO TIP. Play both videos simultaneously for more hilarity.

| Bohemian Rhapsody ^ The Muppets |

are well above sleeping with a cuddly toy. I would sit here and postulate that you are a case in point but i do have one of these and i am proud of it.

My squishy side i call it. I go there to escape. Where do you run to?

| Testify ^ Common |

This episode went up 5 hours ago. Enjoy!

Shuga Episode 3 from mtv staying alive on Vimeo.

Found it while trawling Vimeo. Enjoy!

Shuga Episode 2 from mtv staying alive on Vimeo.

Shuga Episode 1 from mtv staying alive on Vimeo.

I hope they do post the rest of them on there such that people with short attention spans like myself would get to watch the entire series. I am loving this show though i feel like they peaked in the first episode, will wait and see what else they have to offer though.

Any objections?

*Anyone?*

Good, i thought not.

| Letter to my unborn child ^ Tupac |

Staind that is what i mean. These guys are just awesome!

| Right Here ^ Staind |

you go to Youtube, or Twitter, but Youtube won on this battle, sort of.

I found this amazing gem of a song and nothing at the moment says more than this song can, currently bringing down the rafters in my office, the birds scampered away as soon as the first guitar riff started playing. This here is some good shit.

| So far away ^ Staind |

| Usiende Mbali ^ Juliana Kayamozi feat. Bushoke. |

Blessed is the man you discipline, O LORD, the man you teach from your law.

Psalm 94:12

Just reckoned i would share.

Tihihihiii!!!

It has been hardest on myself since i haven’t been using this space much but recently it came to me that when i am reading about writing, i happen not to be writing hence i shall stop, if i can help myself.

Update: I need to acquire this habit of a writer; “Writing”.

How am i like?

Heh.

Now with another song, this ‘real’ broadband business is totally distracting to say the least. Enjoy anyhow.

<rant>What is with Safaricom and shooting their selves in the foot? I am recently, in light of their recent offer of 24 hour unlimited internet, purchasable at 200 bob and something to do with a dubious blank sms to 555, unable to make use of my legitimately purchased internet bundle due to unacceptably slow speeds. The reason i pay for my bundle every month was because their speeds were unmatched. Unlimited internet without capacity to support it has never been a good idea but heck, Safaricom are doing it, someone hit me with a Zain modem, watch me vamoose. </rant>

I do like that song, too much of the autotune business but thankfully it does little to ’spoil’ the song for me, now dance with me.

*flits off, light on his feet for his six foot plusness*

Update: By the way, was chap released from prison?

| Nyota Yako ^ T.I.D. |

For lack of motivation more than anything else;

Further;

There go the Monday blues, right? Hopped right out the window.

Do have a lovely week y’all. I may or may not be back later to say more, sense is optional.

| Ratha Be Ya Nigga ^ 2Pac Feat. Richie Rich |

I just installed some fancy shmancy mobile Plugin for my Wordpress Blog that is supposed to make it mobile. Or something of that sort, i really did not read about it much, just plugged it in and voila, it did not break shit.

I just tested it on my iPhone and it looks bloody brilliant. Go on, try it out on your phone, and since comments are now open thank to one lovely @nkirdizzle out on twitter petitioning my arse and shit, you can now proceed and express your varied but relevant, or irrelevant view.

I shall hit publish soon as i finish laughing.

Ok.

Soon.

Now?

No.

Ok.

Publish…

| Stay ^ Neo |

This would be the reason why. I will quite possibly be struck by lightening the moment i post this but i laughed so hard i became one with my floor.

Do have a fabulous Neo Soul Thursday y’all.

Are you on Twitter? If not, why not? Follow me here, or there, whatever tickles your fancy.

| Let Me Be The One ^ Jaguar Wright |

Times are hard, obviously, i do continue in the Kenyan tradition of stating the obvious, and as such after adjusting my belt to fit my dilapidated frame, dump the excesses, lose the pot and such, sit and wonder what went wrong. I am earning more than i ever did but it scarcely stretches to the end of the month. I live in the same house i did 8 years ago, so where is the leak? I shall get back to this a little later if i remember to that is, do not hold your breath just in case i never show up here again though.

So, Sunday morning 9 am on the dot found me hopping along to Kanji’s ministrations under a huge tent with stuff that rotates up top in a location that used to house a movie sort of thing that allowed, nay, encouraged you to bring your car along and point it at the screen and tune into the appropriate station for the movie sound track. Whatever you engaged in in the car was pretty much your own business, i understand others actually watched the movie, but that is beside the point. Armed with my King James Version of the Holy Book settled down into the sermon which turned out quite good actually, past all the hype, i learned a great deal.

I was schooled and learned quite a great deal which i shall not regurgitate here since it would take several blog posts but i learned where all the holes i found in my pockets were, i am a cheerful giver no more, i hoard when i should sow, i eat the seed so to speak instead of sowing for the harvest before i may proceed to eat, i begrudge the burden of my parents and relations, school fees, whatever fees, pocket money and such, complaining all the way instead of giving since it is the way the good Lord described.

I now know now and shall proceed to right these transgressions as God does hold you to Covenant, i used to be more of the person that was described before and indeed i did not want for anything, my every need was taken care of, life was not a struggle as it had been recently, i have been indeed blessed abundantly, recently handed pretty much a steering of sorts, a roadmap maybe, captain perhaps, or a first mate, call it what you may but it could not have come at a more auspicious time and for this i am thankful, for closing a door for me that was proving corrosive and presenting me with the breath of fresh air i am breathing more of each and every new day.

Thank you Jesus! And friends.

Update: Please do not send me a pair orderlies in white scrubs to come fetch me for a stint at Chiromo, i shall fucking take them down, i am a NINJA remember?

Update 2: Even if they come in pink, green or orange, they shall meet with an inordinate amount of pain, enough to send them running back to whence they came with their tails tucked neatly under their arses. Seriously.

I distract y’all again while i am busy searching for time to do a proper post.

This song takes me back to the carefree late 80s and 90s, growing up is overrated in my opinion, really, who wants to be in charge, have bills, rent and what not, but it does give you something to do, right?

This song is just as fresh as when i first heard it, a timeless classic if i ever heard one, enjoy.

| Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You ^ George Benson |

Please hark and herald your way to http://www.mama.mtvbase.com/ to cast your votes for whoever tickles your fancy, i assure you there is an awful lot of talent to choose from. But before you flee this site and go vote, or not, give a listen to Nameless and Habida singing about me, calling me Sunshine and all that. Awwwwww. You two are too kind!

| Sunshine ^ Nameless feat. Habida |