The Lava Trolley

Stuck on an Island?

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 21:39:00 +0000

What are the 10 books you'd wish you had with you, just in case you've got some spare time in between picking coconuts and fishing (or in my case, most likely starving to death)? Or maybe top 50? But why stop there? Let's make it a hundred.

Actually, forget this...Just bring a fully-loaded Kindle. I never leave home without it.

Thanks to this timely birthday present, expanding my library (more specifically, collapsing bookcases) is no longer a concern. I could even fit in, with room to spare, every single book mentioned on that meme which has been going on since last year - a list supposedly compiled by the BBC. Apparently, out of the 100 offerings of literary greats, Auntie reckons most of us have only read 6 of them.

As far as I know, the only known list by the BBC is on The Big Read which does not exactly resemble the meme in terms of order and content. The only one that is identical is the 2007 can't-live-without poll by The Guardian.

Since no one can agree which is more accurate, I've decided to double the fun for everyone (oh joy!) by using both of them so we can all show off just how clever/dull (depending on your take) we are.

I'll begin with The Guardian's since that appears to be the favoured version.

Instructions:
Bold those books you've read in their entirety. Italicise the ones you started but didn't finish, or are still reading. Then send this to (or tag) all your friends (including me) who will hopefully be bored enough to do the same. Please note that watching the movie or TV series does not count.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte *
4. Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott *
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell * +
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll +
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma -Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis +
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (Oh the shame! Ah well, guess it's more fodder for the fire on that island!)
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Inferno - Dante
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl +
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

If you're wondering why some items have a [*] or a [+] after them, the former marks out books read so often they are now falling apart (obviously pre-Kindle), whilst the latter indicates that I have read the sequels/prequels etc etc.

Anyhow, swiftly moving on to the BBC's version where the same rules apply...

1. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - JK Rowling +
6. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë *
11. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, - Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
18. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott *
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind - Margaret Mitchell * +
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone - JK Rowling +
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets - JK Rowling +
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban - JK Rowling +
25. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch - George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany - John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath - John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll +
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker - Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude - Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth - Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl +
36. Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion - Jane Austen
39. Dune - Frank Herbert
40. Emma - Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down - Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm - George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom - Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers - Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men - John Steinbeck
53. The Stand - Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The BFG - Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons - Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty - Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses - Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha - Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds - Colleen McCollough
65. Mort - Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree - Enid Blyton +
67. The Magus - John Fowles
68. Good Omens - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards! - Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies - William Golding
71. Perfume - Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists - Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch - Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda - Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White - Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses - James Joyce
79. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
80. Double Act - Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits - Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle - Dodie Smith
83. Holes - Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast - Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things - Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel - Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
89. Magician - Raymond E Feist * +
90. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather - Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear - Jean M Auel * +
93. The Colour Of Magic - Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine - Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel - Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love - Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries - Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie

If you combine David's collection and mine, we probably have most of these books in one form or another (digital or paperback/hardcover) and we're basically progressing our way through the lot. If I stop re-reading stuff over and over again, I'll probably reach my goal a lot sooner.

Personally, I think it's quite difficult for anyone to have read less than 6 books unless they have never been to school. Most of us would have at least had a few Shakespeares and Austens rammed down our throats by the time our GCSEs came round.

If you're thinking of what to put on your kick-the-bucket list, this is as good a place to start as any...although I'd be tempted to leave out one or two of the recommended items. A couple of the above seem to be rather dubious choices to me. I mean, The Princess Diaries. Seriously?

Now that I have wasted your time, feel free to return the favour. After all, you've got nothing else better to do. Right?

PS - A solar-powered eReader would not be amiss here (if one hasn't already been invented). Just thinking about that island I could get marooned on...

One Avatar - Many Faces

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 21:39:00 +0000

"In the New York Times the liberal critic Adam Cohen praises
Avatar for championing the need to see clearly. It reveals, he says,
'a well-known principle of totalitarianism and genocide – that it is
easiest to oppress those we cannot see'. But in a marvellous unconscious
irony, he bypasses the crashingly obvious metaphor and talks instead
about the light it casts on Nazi and Soviet atrocities."
- Avatar Review on Comment is Free by George Monbiot

Sorry? What was that again?

Silly me. There I was thinking Avatar's just a straightforward 'good vs evil - boy gets girl' kind of tale.

Should have known better.

It's really about the Nazis...or maybe communism, depending on who you ask. And if you read the comments below said article, it's obvious some viewers saw more than a new incarnation of Dances with Wolves crossed with Ferngully.

I know 3D glasses are meant to help you see things in a different perspective, but I doubt they're meant to expand your vision in quite this fashion. It's not difficult to work out how some of us arrived at the pro-eco analogy, and perhaps the not-so-subtle jibe at colonisation. I'll admit even I noticed the parallels. But for god's sake, why spoil something by over-analysing it?

Avatar isn't supposed to be profound. It's meant to be a CGI showcase (and a damned good one it is too). That's why they kept the story simple. Many iconic films have pretty basic plots - Star Wars (I am referring to the original unremastered trilogy here, not George Lucas's later offering) and ET didn't exactly explore themes that were particularly deep, but it didn't stop generations of us from enjoying them.

Sometimes, we ought to just sit back, relax, and take entertainment at face value...And more importantly, make sure you go to the bloody toilet beforehand, because some movies are pretty long and Avatar happens to be one of them.

PS - Forgot to add...Gong Xi Fa Cai and Happy Valentine's Day to all, whichever one you celebrate. David has been raising awareness for Vulcan to the Sky, so to show my support, I got most of his presents either from or through their website. CNY wish to the Vulcan XH558 - Live Long and Prosper!

PS again - If you're into celluloid dissection, here's a zero-fuss Oscar breakdown on the aptly named ShortFormBlog.

Happy Fuckin' Everything

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:15:00 +0000

Seemed like a good time to say it.

What a year 2009 has been...Despite an initial grim outlook brought on by the recession, office fire, swine flu etc etc, I think we've done rather well on the whole. I'm still in one piece anyway. Plus, loved ones all safe and sound, not forgetting a roof over our heads, so that's got to count for something. There are many who can't say that.

I even managed to get along with the voices inside my head. One of them, rather worryingly, tried to convince me that our back garden would be a good location for a rocket launchpad. I could foresee funding would be a huge problem. But I wasn't prepared for the council to turn down my planning application. They didn't say why either.

Ah well, back to the mundane...

A few days ago, I came across an application on Facebook that builds a summary of all your status updates for the year, and noticed something interesting. A lot of my messages were food-related. Because of that, I ended up creating two collages, with the second one minus the culinary obsession.

I couldn't fit it all in...It's a bit like reliving your memories, though I ought to stop since this is making me drool. I had cake and Hoisin Duck rolls just now, but already I am feeling peckish...again. I think there may be another box of chocolates lying around.

Even after removing statuses that mentioned anything edible (quite difficult since there were so many), I still had trouble getting the rest on. Hmm...Random selection isn't the best way to get an accurate picture what I got up to really. A year is a long time after all!

Anyhow, the past is the past and we have to move on.

I haven't got a new year's resolution, although I do have certain projects lined up that may cause me to blog less often...such as re-vamping my site and building a Retro Radio PC. Hmm...Didn't we have the same conversation last year?

We shall have to see...In either case, I'd like to wish everyone all the best for 2010. I'd drink to that, only I'd rather be the smug bitch now smirking at everyone who's got a hangover from last night. It's great being teetotal!

Get in Line

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:51:00 +0000

"David never knew his real parents. He was adopted by a couple
'who never should have been allowed to have a child',
and ran away from home aged 16.
He is 40 and has lived on the street ever since. Can't he get a job?
'I have tried, but they don't take into account you might be soaked
to the skin, or exhausted.'
Do you get depressed? 'Of course I do. But I try to keep a lid on it.'
Can't the Government get you a bedsit? 'I don't want a bedsit,' he says.
'I want what you have.' " - I've Never Liked the Homeless by Liz Jones

Oh yeah?! You, and how many thousands of others?

I want a nice big house, a highly-paid job, and lots of lovely luxuries too, but I am far far away from getting any of that.

However, if I were homeless or about to become so, I wouldn't say no to a bedsit either...And I didn't, even though it was more like a shoebox. We all have to start somewhere.

No one can help you unless you first help yourself.

The Apocalypse Draws Nigh

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 22:45:00 +0000

"This is the story of how the belief that the world has to fight the
threat of global warming has crept to the top of the political agenda,
to the point where, not just in Britain but across the world, governments
are solemnly discussing by far the most costly series of measures
any bunch of politicians has proposed."

I would be far more concerned about running out of fuel, if I were they.

Temperatures on earth have been rising and falling over billions of years, and evidence that man's pre-dominantly responsible is far from conclusive (particularly since our existence only counts for a tiny fraction of the evolutionary timeline). However, the danger of exhausting current energy supply is beyond dispute, and more likely to affect us sooner than the need to seek inspiration from a certain biblical shipwright.

It's difficult to decide who to believe. One minute we're being told the climate is heating up, and the next, that it's actually getting cooler. One source claims it's to do with our wanton abuse of power, and another that climate change is caused by sunspot activity or planetary movements.

If scientists bicker amongst themselves as to the cause of these changes (or worse - whether any of these changes have even occurred), who are we to turn to for a decent explanation? Politicians seem to think they're the ones to lead us out of this crisis.

That alone triggers my bullshit radar and sets off all alarms at full blast.

Don't get me wrong, I am not completely pooh-poohing warmists. Despite the alarmist attitude, these people do have a point. We haven't got an infinite amount of resources, so keep on using them and what we have will gradually drain away. That's surely got to have some kind of impact on life around us. Assuming all emails were genuine, Climategate was a huge blow, not just to the global warming cause but to the whole environmental movement.

Eco-terrorists may not be trustworthy (or rational), yet the same could be said of sceptics who have their own selfish agenda. Both extremes are equally harmful, and when governments start sticking their oars in, it's not just rising sea levels we have to worry about...it's the cost as well. All this money is patching up something alright, but it's not our ecosystem.

Not one to get hysterical about CO2 emissions, I am far less likely to feel any enthusiasm when politicians (and by extension, large corporations, including those that back research teams) get involved. All this makes the stench of exploitation difficult to ignore.

It's not a worldwide conspiracy as much as it is a spectacle of human nature and public gullibility. Greed can be a great motivator. So long as there are millions still to be made from oil, the powers-that-be are hardly going to put their heart and soul into finding us an alternative...Not immediately anyway. Regardless, they must be seen to be doing something right now, if only to shut everyone up.

Oooh, here's an idea! Let's shout very loudly about what's being done to reduce our carbon footprint.

Fuel conservation, hybrid inventions, recycling, population control etc - these measures do buy us more time. But whether in this lifetime or our descendants', that meter's bound to tick over with us humans finding ourselves the same place as the dinosaurs...So, no pressure then!

There has only ever been one answer; everything else is damage control, a means to delay the inevitable.

Unless we discover another planet to plunder, our continued survival depends very much on securing an energy supply that's renewable. Happily, the latter possibility isn't that far from fruition. We even have quite a few choices, from hydro-power to nuclear fusion. All that's required is further research and development, and someone with a bit of common sense to invest in it. Let's hope he's rich too.

Forget the doomsday scenarios you've been force-fed. If the world ends tomorrow, it'll more likely be due to the lack of anything meaningful on TV. What will the masses do now X Factor is over? And Big Brother soon to be history too. It's practically a double catastrophe!

The human race is not beyond overcoming the fuel crisis, nor is it likely to become extinct...well, not until the sun burns itself out billions of years later. But that's a different matter entirely. When that happens, we will be well and truly fucked.

Space exploration, anyone?

Relevant Information:
Q&A - The Copenhagen Climate Summit
Climategate - The Final Nail in the Coffin
The Devastating Book Which Debunks Climate Change
Sceptics Welcome BBC Report on Global Cooling
Whatever Happened to Global Warming?
Where Have All the Sunspots Gone?
Earth Approaching Sunspot Records

No Sympathy for the Devil

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 19:35:00 +0000

"The brothers Munir and Tokeer Hussain were sentenced,
respectively, to 30 months and 39 months in prison last week
for beating a fleeing burglar with a cricket bat so severely
that he suffered brain damage."

Brain damage? Oh, what a shame.

They should have hit him harder...One less chav for the world to worry about.

There are not many amongst us who would grieve for the loss of yet another criminal, particularly a repeat offender who failed to learn his lesson 50 convictions ago. Most would more likely empathise with the Hussain family, and those employees who are now no doubt suffering as a result of Munir's imprisonment.

Beating the shit out of a burglar is going a bit too far, it has been noted (and rather sanctimoniously). But then again, I am not too sure how rational I would be if someone invaded my home to steal my hard-earned property, tied up me and my family, then threatened us at knife-point. Some people never recover from such an ordeal, you know.

A criminal who decides to break into someone's house should, at the point of entry, forever leave all his rights behind. As the saying goes, if you choose to live by the sword, expect to die by it.

Some of these lowlife scum behave worse than animals...I would not even consider them human. Walid Salem had it coming.

Nevertheless, the authorities cannot be seen to condone vigilante action. As you may have noticed, I have no moral objection to taking a life as such (depending on circumstances), but we can't have everyone going around dispensing their own brand of justice. Otherwise, there would be no point in having a legal system, and it'll be chaos all round.

However, a jail term of 30 months (almost three years) is a tad excessive for a generally law-abiding citizen. That is the only true tragedy in this case. Personally, I felt all the Hussain brothers should have received was a slap on the wrist and perhaps some time doing community service.

Victims take the law into their own hands when they no longer believe in it...Were the authorities more competent, none of this would be happening. I often wonder what these people are being paid so much money to do.

Certainly not keeping the streets safe from the likes of Craig 'Lazie' Lynch, I can tell you that!

He's not the only dangerous convict on the loose. Oh, it gets worse! But our government's more interested in taxing motorists, sending our soldiers off to die, building new airports, and fighting internet piracy of course.

Good to see they've got their priorities right!

Relevant Articles:
Little Justice for the Brothers Who Beat a Burglar
Johnson Sympathetic to Jailed Brothers
Self-Defence Rights Against Burglars May be Increased
Munir Hussain: The Real Problem is Rising Crime, Not Self-Defence

Santa for a Day

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:21:00 +0000

Sadly, I did not have any presents to give out, though I am hoping that money we raised for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust will more than make up for it.

As you've no doubt gathered by now, we took part in a charity walk which also required us to dress up as Santa during the hour-long stroll.

Despite the chill of winter, everyone got into the spirit of things and soon warmed up. The walk was quite muddy, and some areas were slippery, but the hardest part was getting the sponsorship. Nine of us did it as a group (including three children), and at last count, donations were up to £130.

Not bad at all! I'm quite pleased with the results, since my organisation was pretty last minute. Still, we had fun!

A video we took of the event will be uploaded in due course, and I will update this blog to reflect that.

In the meantime, I'd like to wish y'all Happy HO-HO-HO-lidays!!!

UPDATED: 25 December 2009 @ 11:32

I've been getting really fed-up with YouTube because of the way they've been handling audio. These unreasonable restrictions placed on the use of music have driven me to Vimeo and Viddler, and the former is where I have just uploaded the video of the Smithills Santa Stroll.

Enjoy, and Merry Christmas.

Nothing tastes as good...

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:24:00 +0000

...as chocolate cake feels...when it melts in your mouth.

Kate Moss has the wrong idea. Nothing beats the taste of good food (apart from sex maybe). Don't get me wrong, I do love my figure, but I love eating just as much. Eating is a part of enjoying life, so I feel no guilt whatsoever when indulging in this daily pleasure. There are healthy ways to stay trim, and starving yourself isn't one of them.

Much to be expected, the media reacted unfavourably towards Kate Moss's words of wisdom. There were, however, more than a few stragglers who took her side. Face the Fat Facts, from The Mirror, being one of them. Strangely enough, that opinion piece has been taken offline now, so this link will lead you to a cached version.

"Being thin is healthier than being fat. It's more attractive.
Clothes look better on you if you're thin. Not skinny. Not anorexic.
Thin. Go figure."

By and large, I agree with Fiona Phillips's argument. There is a difference between being bony, and being slim. I draw the line the moment someone begins to look ill and haggard as a result of weight loss.

Contrary to orthodox views generated to make the majority of us feel more comfortable with our bodies, slim women are more attractive in shape - hourglass as opposed to barrel.

As an example, take a look at the pictures below: two women in the same dress, one larger than the other. There's just no contest. Kelly Brooke, despite being skinnier, is actually curvier.

It's about proportion, not size. To have the right curves, you need a pretty narrow waist (as compared to wider shoulders and hips), and thinner women seem to have more luck in that department. Everything else is down to genes and bone structure, though muscular development can often overcome the latter two factors.

"Her motto has been taken out of context and blamed
for creating more anorexic teenage girls. Tosh."

It is true that most women would rather be slim than fat, and since not everyone can be blessed with a high metabolic rate, most would also have to control their diet to keep the pounds from piling on. However, Kate Moss's comment is dangerous (and quite frankly, stupid) in a climate obsessed with celebrities, even the irresponsible drug-fuelled ones such as herself.

"Equally, fat is seen as the path to misery and lack of success,
yet obesity is on the rise. Is Dawn French responsible for that?
Of course she's not. You are what you eat."

Hmm...Dawn French doesn't have quite the same glamorous influence on girls either.

Those older and wiser among us would be able to appreciate Kate Moss's hyperbole and dismiss it as humour, but young girls mistakenly look up to her as a role model whether we like it or not, and many will take her statements literally.

I very much doubt the supermodel did not see this backlash coming. She strikes me as the sort of person who does and says whatever she likes and believes she can get away with it. Perhaps a part of her enjoys winding the public up. Giles Coren is right when he describes her as 'undeniably powerful'.

(Think how damaging his remarks would be to the body image and confidence of those girls he described as "sour-faced, lying vixens" with "livid skin, foul breath and hairy backs" if they truly are ill! His voice of resentment isn't exactly helping a cause.)

Moss's message is sending out all the wrong signals; it implies that being skinny is paramount. Perhaps for a model whose livelihood depends on her good looks, it is crucial that she conforms to the stereotype. But even so, is being attractive all that motivates her, so much so that it is her life's motto?

Is there nothing, NOTHING, more important than being skinny? What about being healthy or spending time with your loved ones?

Some might say that I can afford a smug holier-than-thou attitude since nature has bestowed upon me a body that burns up calories much faster than I can consume them, coupled with a petite frame due to my Oriental heritage. I have always managed to fit into XXS clothing from the age of 14 up till now, without being denied my fair share of chocolate, cheese, junk food, and other gastronomical delights. Yes, I am lucky. I can have my cake and eat it.

Yet, there are many other women out there without my attributes who still look better than Kate Moss and me. They did not achieve that surviving on rabbit food. A wholesome lifestyle of eating sensibly and exercising regularly got them where they are today.

You just can't argue with the science. Moderation is the key here, and definitely a better motto by far.

Other Articles:
Kate Moss - An icon of Willpower and Strength
Lighten Up - Kate Moss is Right
Kate Moss's Motto Gives Comfort to Pro-Anorexic Community

Who's got a rotten egg to spare?

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:38:00 +0000

"The BNP leader Nick Griffin completed filming for his controversial
appearance on Question Time this evening, hours after anti-fascist
protesters breached security and broke into BBC Television Centre."

It changes nothing.

Those who now openly support the BNP have always been that way inclined, some perhaps to a greater degree than others. Likewise for the other camp.

Assuming the BNP have not lied about the apparent success of their debut on Question Time, a surge of wannabe members on their site is to be expected. US counterpart Stormfront.org had a similar experience when it went down due to a spike in site traffic after Obama won the election.

BNP's sudden increase in potential recruits only demonstrates the number of people who have been less vocal about their views up till now, still a pretty small percentage of the entire UK population - about 3k out of 61m or so. Whether they can maintain a growth at this rate remains to be seen.

"It's called Democracy. It's not pretty, but it's the
least evil we humans can make."

A mere glimpse of Griffin's face is enough to make me attach mine to the sick bucket, the contents of which destined to trace the same arc as these eggs.

Yet, I was willing to endure an hour's worth of Gitler in the name of free speech. Or perhaps I was secretly hoping someone would throttle him halfway through...No chance of that, the audience was too civilised compared to the blood-thirsty horde gathered outside.

The irony of a fascist party using democracy as a platform to gain publicity isn't lost on me, but silencing the BNP will only encourage them to accuse the rest of us of being two-faced. I learnt nothing new from Griffin's performance, but at least most of us gained some satisfaction in watching both Nick Griffin and Jack Straw squirm.

Let's face it, the BNP didn't get this far because more people are starting to find them agreeable, but because less people are willing to trust politicians and their empty promises. They don't bother to vote because they have lost their faith in the system, and the blame for this can be laid squarely at the feet of our esteemed Lord Chancellor and the government.

Admittedly, the 'fabled' BNP leader did not come across as self-assured as previously depicted by the media. Somewhat of a disappointment, since I expected him to put up a bit more of a fight. Then again, playing the victim could have been a ploy. Not that it moved many people, judging from the resulting response.

240 complaints (relating to bias) out of 8 million viewers is, again, a very small proportion...especially when you take into account the growing millions of slaps, eggs, curried dishes etc, directed Gitler's way via websites so inundated with hits that they were compelled to call it a day.

Hmmm...hardly a martyr.

There is a reason why BBC One had far more than its usual number of viewers that night. We were all aware of what would happen...and so did Nick Griffin. He is many things, but he is most certainly not naive. Griffin sauntered into this spectacle with his eyes wide open.

It would have been interesting to hear how he felt our current problems ought to be approached, such as the present state of the NHS, rising levels of crime, plus other economic and administrative issues.

...Good job we never got that far; he could barely answer questions that were put to him in the first place! All Griffin managed to do was stutter, and deny things he'd said and done in the past, even those caught on video.

A bit pointless to be on Question Time if you're too cowardly to stand by your own beliefs, let alone propagate them!

Someone who sits there sweating away (he was actually shaking towards the end), and unable to make himself coherent does not strike me as particularly rational or competent. Only those seriously deluded would think such a piteous creature capable of handling the day-to-day running of a country. No wonder members of his own party expressed dismay at his softly-softly approach.

"Maybe some coaching could of been done so that
Mr Griffin could of answered any questions articulately."

Gitler couldn't even offer anything constructive about what ought to be done about current immigration problems, surely a subject central to the BNP constitution (which will soon be forced to change). In the end, it was Warsi who pulled Jack Straw up short for his and his party's failings. She was also the only one who pointed out that immigration has nothing to do with skin colour, making Griffin's argument about rights for 'indigenous people' sound even less relevant.

Next to Bonnie Greer, he appeared an ignorant liar who had not done his homework. With the historical and scientific inaccuracies spewing forth from his mouth, I wonder how Nick Griffin ever came to be a Cambridge graduate. He is either truly racist (and most assuredly homophobic), or so power-hungry he will say and do anything that he believes will make him the next Hitler.

"BNP leader Nick Griffin complained today that he had
been the victim of a 'lynch mob' following his controversial
appearance on the BBC's Question Time."

Sympathy for Griffin is the thin end of the wedge. He got exactly what he desired, just so he could indulge in a display of his trademark boo-hooing. Question Time was a good reflection of popular opinion. Yes, the BNP had a few supporters in there, but their contribution was overwhelmed by the majority who opposed them.

If Nick Griffin is allowed to have his say, then by that same token, so did everyone else on Question Time. I think the sheer volume of criticism piled on him is good indication that the BNP and its supporters are the true minority.

With any luck, we won't have to suffer a repeat exhibition of the giant vibrator. It was amusing while it lasted, but as a friend of mine so eloquently put it, it's time for him to "follow his own party's advice and fuck off back to where he came from - the marginals".

Relevant Sites:
Anti-Fascist Protestors Charge BBC
Nick Griffin Attacked by His Own Supporters over Question Time
Question Time a 'Lynchmob', Complains Griffin
BNP's Indigenous Britons were Neanderthals
Babes of the BNP

SLAP NICK GRIFFIN

Updated: 22 November 2009 @ 21:52

I have observed some criticism elsewhere regarding Baroness Warsi's comment that there is no such thing as 'bogus Asylum Seekers'. I suspect she's just being a little pedantic. In her book, true Asylum Seekers ought to be accommodated. But those who lie to achieve that legal status ought not to be classed as Asylum Seekers in the first place, and for the purpose of this debate, should therefore be excluded...much in the same way that 'indigenous' has no place in the argument. How far back does Griffin want to go? According to one definition, you need only be born in the region to be considered as such.

Oldies but Goodies

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 18:56:00 +0000

I was browsing through some old files the other day, and found a message that I had posted on a very old website of mine (this was long before blogging became mainstream). It was actually more like a forum than a personal site, so there were quite a few contributors. I've lost much of the poetry and prose that used to be on there, but here's one that I'm glad I managed to hold on to.

None of the writing from the section below is my own, but it made enough of an impression on me to find the story worth sharing.

I'd first read it in a women's magazine called Cleo many years back. The February issue in 1996 to be exact, so it had all your usual Valentines' Day blurb. However, instead of your average Editor's Letter, a simple love story (with few embellishments) was written, and it proved far more effective. To this day, it remains one of the most moving tales I've ever read, and never fails to unlock the floodgates. Eating wasabe or chopping onions are only second to this, which explains why I tore the article out and stashed it away as a keepsake.

I'm not the most romantic person in the world, but every now and then I lapse into such behaviour...I suppose I wanted desperately to believe things like that could happen, and thought that if I held on to it long enough, I just might find true love as well. It took two years for my 'good luck charm' to work. Still, better late than never!!

I know it's not quite the right time of year, but love flourishes in all seasons anyway, not just on Valentines' Day. Anyhow, you bloody well better like it, 'cos it took me awhile to type everything, with my tear ducts working overtime even before I finished the job.

Perhaps you ought to have the Kleenex ready as well.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the Editor:

Let me tell you a story I once heard - a Spanish love story. I don't know whether or not it's true - I'd like to think it is - but I'll tell it to you anyway.

Many years ago, when the sun burned orange all day and the night was wet with the smell of green moss and summer, two young Spanish lovers met in a little fishing village. Each day they would walk barefoot along the great winding dust road, and they would buy bread from the old merchant with a crooked smile. They would sit beneath the old olive tree and talk and laugh and warm their faces in the sun. It was beneath this olive tree that Pedro first kissed Esmirada.

They shared their dreams with each other - Esmirada wanted to study art in Italy and one day become a famous artist. Pedro spoke of becoming the wealthiest man in Spain. But they were young. And when the time came for Esmirada to go off and study, she refused to leave.

Her love had grown so strong, she told Pedro, that she feared leaving him for even a moment would surely destroy her. They held each other beneath the olive tree and they wept.

The next day, Esmirada waited for Pedro on the hill above the dirt road, but he never came. Nor did he come the next day, or the day after that...

Esmirada was heartbroken. Although she searched for Pedro for many days, she never found him. She wrote to him. He never replied. Devastated, she left for Italy.

Esmirada studied for several years and became a sculptor. She sculpted many fine pieces, but her most cherished creation was a replica of the old olive tree she knew as a girl. She eventually became famous, and at her first big international exhibition, the olive tree was sold for a large sum of money. The design was so special that many art collectors wanted Esmirada to create olive trees for their own collections. But she never sculpted another one. It was a one-off, she said.

Forty years passed, and Esmirada retired a wealthy and successful artist. She had married, had many children and lived in a beautiful house. Sometimes, she would think back to those warm afternoons under the olive tree, and from time to time, she would wonder...

Then one day, she received a letter. It was from the attorneys of Pedro Bandida saying that he had passed away. In his will, he stipulated that all his property would be left to her. Attached was a short letter that read:

"To my dear Esmirada,

I became what I always dreamed I would. I am a man of great wealth, perhaps even the richest man in Spain. My fortune is greater than any man could dream of and I leave it all to you - my one and only true love."

So Esmirada made the trip to Spain.

She travelled to the little fishing village and walked barefoot along the great winding dust road. She bought a loaf of bread from the old merchant's store, but the old merchant had long since died. She sat beneath the old olive tree and turned her face to the sun. And she drank in the air.

Afterwards, she got a driver to take her to the address she had been given. Before her stood a beautiful mansion. She entered, and finding the palatial home full of Persian carpets and ornate paintings and gold trimmings, she felt her heart break for the second time.

Esmirada was greeted by a man who told her, "I am the brother of Pedro. I am sorry if you have made this long journey in search of wealth. My brother was a foolish man, and you have obviously been led astray. He did not own this opulent home - I do. He was a poor man with no money. He invested what little possessions he had many years ago and now, all there is to show for it are the contents of this box."

And the brother showed Esmirada to a tall cardboard box sitting in a corner of the room gathering dust.

"But he said in his letter that he was a man of great wealth," Esmirada whispered to no one in particular.

She opened the box, and found a note inside. It read:

"To my dear Esmirada,

To experience true love - whether it is long-lasting or just for a fleeting moment - is to find eternal wealth."

And it was signed:

"From the world's richest man."

The note was attached to a sculpted olive tree that had once belonged to a poor Spanish man who had sold off all his worldly possessions to buy it more than forty years before.

Enjoy this month's fabulous Cleo love special.

- Gina Johnson

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was also going to post stuff from the other files I've found on my system, but then decided it best to just leave you with this...

...For now.

Have Spam - Will Can

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 17:27:00 +0000

I have an issue with some of the comments here, which I have decided not to publish since they serve no purpose whatsoever, apart from endorsing spam.

Dropping by to say hi, or to compliment my work is perfectly fine of course...even trolling can be justified since it will sometimes fire up a debate (plus, I have a name and shame policy).

Links, too, are certainly encouraged, and definitely no concern of mine. The problem only occurs when the 'friendly greeting' is masked as an excuse to promote one's own site. Here's a classic one-liner:

"Hi, nice blog - http://www.iamaknob.com"

It couldn't be any less subtle.

Please don't come here for free advertising. Your site (or sites, as is so often the case) will not generate any traffic from this quarter since your lardy spam simply won't get past the approval stage. If you want any clicking action from the links you post, at least have the courtesy to read what I have to say, and contribute something of interest before you expect me to return the favour.

This is a blog, thanks, not a directory.

And since I'm ranting about comments anyway...

"Having coffee with a friend the other day, we were both
horrified to see a pre-pubescent girl, walking with her mother,
wearing a T-shirt saying 'porn star in training'.

This is not just a UK problem. It's a western problem.
Over a decade ago, Britney Spears hit our screens.
Her first song, 'Baby One More Time', featured a music video
in which she danced seductively while wearing school uniform,
around the same time as she gave interviews turning her
virginity into a marketing device."

I came across this article not long ago, and more or less, agree with its author. It's actually a subject I've blogged before. However, what got my attention was a comment I spotted second page in, which I include here (sans typos):

"It's a Western Problem? Erm, the legal age of marriage in Iran is 9.
It must only be a 'Western Problem' as 'the East' have got round it
by making it legal, but that's their 'culture' so it does not count.
I digress, so men like to look at sexy teenage girls, do they?
Crikey, when did this phenomena begin? 10 years ago, or
at the dawn of time? Perhaps we could have another article on
how fat people like cakes."

This is not an uncommon attitude, but it did get me thinking...

Although Marriage and Sexuality are clearly connected, they aren't quite the same thing and don't always go hand-in-hand. Yes, certain Muslim states do condone atrocities like child brides, but Asia is a very large continent, and such unions are hardly prevalent when you consider what takes place here.

What Ian Dunt was referring to is closer to promiscuity, which may exist amongst the young in Asia just as in any other part of the world, but is still generally regarded as highly taboo over there, and often accompanied with an element of shame.

The attractiveness of schoolgirls to men isn't being called into question. Dunt is merely arguing that only in Western society has an early introduction to sexual behaviour (and not always in a responsible manner) been accepted into the mainstream.

I could say this is most evident in the different treatment of children's media by various cultures, but that's pretty tame compared to the reality of seeing a six-year-old girl sucking a lollipop shaped like a penis whilst strolling down Blackpool Prom with her parents.

Somewhere, somehow, something has gone very very wrong.

Not in My Name

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 18:41:00 +0000

Just a quickie to ask anyone reading this blog if they could pop over to HopeNotHate to sign a petition against racism and the BNP.

I uploaded my pic there a few days ago after a friend of mine (who has a tiny cameo appearance in the not-in-my-name video) spread the word, but I'm pretty sure the photo is not mandatory.

It did actually take me a few attempts to get the image right since I haven't got a proper camera (apart from David's 'professional' one which I don't know how to use).

Anyhow, these other pics were rejected in favour of the one at the top since I wanted the text to be more prominent, and David felt it was only in that image that I looked suitably disapproving! Oh well, the photo isn't really important, so nevermind.

There are a few versions of the HopeNotHate website (work in progress, I guess), but the link above is the start page...and of course, I am sure everyone is already aware of LoveMusicHateRacism.

There's some misconception going around about how the BNP is no longer the extremist organisation it used to be, under the cover of its new 'respectability'. But many of us are not so easily fooled. The HopeNotHate website has some information which reveals their true motives.

A section about this petition shall now be a new stickie on the right-hand panel of my blog.

I hope that in the next election, ALL of us will vote to exercise our right to free speech. Yes, you are entitled not to vote as well, but the BNP took advantage of that which was how they got their foot in their door to begin with. It's time the rest of us cared a little and got more involved.

The British National Party and their supporters may have the right to have their opinions heard, but we do too...so let's make our voices louder than theirs.

Some time much later...

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:51:00 +0000

...Yes, I know. My blogging frequency leaves much to be desired.

This post is way overdue, but loads have happened in my life this year which can justify my tardiness in updating a blog that gets so little traffic anyway.

The building behind my workplace exploded causing a fire that burnt down our office, which meant we had to move premises (after a brief stint of working from home). Then, I got married.

Not long after that, I went to Singapore and Malaysia to visit family (where the camera I borrowed from my daddy went missing and so had to use my phone for the rest of the holiday!!!). I also had my hair rebonded and had a fringe cut, like I said I would.

In between all that, I even found time to establish a weight-training routine (more or less), go nature rambling, help cannibalise an old computer to build a new one, earn enough gold to get my epic flappy in WoW, start a new religion, vote by proxy (to thwart the BNP), catalogue my entire DVD collection and spreadsheet the lot of it.

...The new religion didn't quite take off though. I don't think people were ready for the whole shopping-for-clothes-in-the-nude-to-save-time experience.

Anyhow, as you would expect, loads of photos were shot to commemorate these milestones, and some video as well, although attempts at the latter went a bit Pete Tong during the marriage doo-dah...Don't ask.

It's a good job the plan was for a non-wedding sort of wedding as I didn't want any fuss. It was small and private, with zero fanfare. Since marriage is mainly for the benefit of two people (and their kids, but Zhouyi was with my mum and dad in Singapore at the time anyway...otherwise, I'd have included the tea ceremony), we didn't see the need for anything fancy. Everything was kept so quiet it was almost as if we'd eloped instead. In fact, had witnesses not been required, there would have been a strong possibility we'd have told no one and just announced it after the deed was done.

In another break with tradition, it wasn't just David who had a Best Man...I had one too, instead of a Bridesmaid.

In case anyone's wondering, the custom-made gown I wore is not a Kimono or Hanbok, but a style that is much more ancient. It's actually Hanfu, which is what the Japanese and Korean versions were based on. I wanted something simple but unique, so going as far back to my roots as I possibly could seemed an elegant idea.

Our only concession to this no-frills almost-pedestrian wedding was to write our own vows together. Sadly, that part of the ceremony was covered by seriously dodgy videoing, so I thought it would be a nice touch to add it here.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Registrar: Ten years ago, David Gregory and Charmain Lee met through a shared moment of serendipity. They fell in love, and would now like to celebrate a union which has stood the test of time and distance. We are here today to witness the joining of a couple who belong as two halves together. As each person gives, neither needs to ask for anything in return. From this day forward, they pledge to always love one another, whatever the future may bring.

Us: I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, David Gregory/Charmain Lee may not be joined in matrimony to Charmain Lee/David Gregory.

I, David Gregory/Charmain Lee, take you, Charmain Lee/David Gregory to be my wedded wife/husband. To be faithful to and support, through joy and though sorrow, in sickness and in health, and to love for all time.

I give you this ring as a symbol of our marriage and a token of my love for you.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Actually, the highlight of the day took place later when we had to break into our own home because we forgot to bring our keys with us! That's a great start to married life, innit?! It took the better part of the afternoon for David to fit new locks. We did go for a nice drive in the countryside after that though.

Also, the MOCGB celebrated its 30th anniversary on the 4th of July by changing its annual official meet so it now lasts over the weekend, incorporating a track day which we attended (with much gusto on David's part...I think he must have lapped some cars three times). No prizes for guessing which car we took, obviously.

Photos can be found as usual in my Flickr Collection, or by clicking the links in the side panel of this page.

Videos are all on my Vimeo Channel...Anyone who remarks that they can tell a huge difference in my editing and David's will earn a well-deserved slap from me.

HERstory

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:29:00 +0000

Here lies the reason I can scarcely bring myself to summon any depth of emotion over the King of Pop's demise.

A few days ago, a friend of mine posted on Facebook footage of a particular incident during the protests in Iran, with some warning that there would be scenes of a disturbing nature. It's not the sort of thing he normally does, but felt it was something the world should know about. I tend to avoid such content, however in this case, my friend did have a point....People do need to be aware of what's been happening, to keep things in perspective if nothing else.

The video lasted just 37 seconds, but its images will stay with me long after my memories of being at a special Michael Jackson concert (when he performed on his birthday) fade away.

Neda Agha-Soltan is not the first person to have been killed whilst making a stand, nor will she be the last. She could have been anyone...anyone who cares enough to make a difference anyway. Ironically, given the significance of her name, she died silently where she fell - a centre of calm amidst cries of grief and terror. Neda never even got a chance to raise her voice, and neither did her family who were deprived of their very right to mourn the loss of a loved one.

So you see, much as I am a fan of MJ's music and deplore press treatment of him (and his kids, particularly after his death), you'll forgive me if I do not join the ranks of those posting tributes to a man who's done practically nothing for the past decade, let alone to Heal the World as he himself put it.

If you want summat done...

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Sun, 10 May 2009 17:15:00 +0000

...Get a woman to do it!

Hurray for Patsy!!! I've not been one to fully embrace the feminist cause, but you can't help applauding whenever a woman comes out on top, and the British seem to excel in that arena - Elizabeth I is my particular favourite...and who can forget Maggie? Loads of mistakes she might have made, but at least she had great clonking balls.

It's clear that we ought to have a woman in the driving seat again...although perhaps not quite so literally if this video below is anything to go by!

Related Articles:
Joanna Shames Brown into Talks on Gurkhas
Lumley in Public Clash on Gurkhas
Gurkha Plight is a Stain on Our Nation

Anything you can do, I can do better!

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:22:00 +0000

Can't say I'm really getting it...I'm sure all the contestants who ended up on the Royal Variety Show were brilliant, and I know for certain a few who didn't make it were equally talented, but so what?

The very title implies that Britain is short of talent and therefore, something new and refreshing needs to be injected into our culture. Personally, I've yet to see any evidence of that since this show started running.

Yes, there have been great performers on it, like that Sampson kid, and the mobile phone guy (apologies for not getting the names right as I only watch little snippets when I'm at a friend's house so I don't always catch the names), plus that loonytoon of a woman Susan Whateverhernameis who sang that Les Mis song I Dream a Dream (I did think she was bloody fantastic, and I'm not just saying this because it's one of my favourite songs).

But Britain isn't exactly running out of great singers or dancers, so what makes any of these people unique?

Simply because they were unknowns? Literally from off the street (or rather, the average household)? But then, the same can be said of many other stars who haven't taken the fast-track route. They don't all rely on pure sensationalism to kick-start their careers.

This is not to say I have a dim view of everything that comes under reality TV. Dragon's Den can be pretty educational and Grand Designs has been inspirational at times...I don't know; would they come under the same umbrella? Perhaps they fall within a grey area.

Wowing viewers on BGT sometimes seems too much like getting the sympathy vote (or in a kid's case, the 'cute' vote). The only reason I was impressed by someone like Susan wasn't because her singing was any more remarkable than say Charlotte Church or Katherine Jenkins, but because I simply did not expect it from someone like her and judging from audience reaction, no one else saw it coming either. It was her eccentricity (and appearance) that got our attention first, without which she'd be just another Leona Lewis or Alexandria 'Hallelujah' Thingy (nevermind, you know who I mean...too lazy to google).

I very much doubt Britain lacks talent, but all this mass marketing and whatnot is making it more and more difficult for us to sieve through the cacophony of bleahness.

R.I.P. Jade

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:02:00 +0000

"The debate is as polarised as the modes of
mourning for the late Diana, Princess of Wales.

But there two points beyond dispute.
First, everyone has the deepest sympathy for a
27-year-old mother cut down in her prime.
Second, everyone now has an opinion on Jade Goody."

There is no denying the latter, but the former does not entirely convince me. Not when sites like www.whenwilljadegoodydie.com exist.

Even those who don't watch Big Brother (myself included...perhaps I should watch more TV so people would find me less anti-social) know of Jade Goody. You can't help it really, especially when friends so 'obligingly' insist on discussing the reality programmes they've been watching the night before. You turn on the radio, and someone is talking about her. Go to the supermarket, and she is plastered all over most of the magazine covers you walk past. Click on Google News, and there she is again, one of the headliners.

I suppose her in-your-face attitude doesn't help. Every nation has something iconic it can boast about - New York is called the Big Apple; New Orleans, the Big Easy. Us here in the UK? We've got the Big Mouth. (I can't actually claim credit for that line since a favourite teacher of mine once used it on me and my friends. But I don't know what's become of him, so I thought I'd immortalise his words and can think of no one more deserving of that description.) There's just no escape from the lovely Ms Goody. Thankfully, you get used to it, and Jade's delightful antics eventually fade back to become part of life's wallpaper.

"Jade Goody has done nothing and we mean nothing
to enhance life on this planet. She fills the tabloid pages
with crap about herself. She’s an egotistical twat who
can’t have a normal relationship as it would mean she’d
have to share herself with somebody else than herself.
And yet the tabloids still give her their newspaper inches
while they should be giving her 10 inches of red hot
steel up her ass."

Blah, blah, blah...On it goes.

Still, it's all true. Jade is all-of-the-above, a media whore who banks on the only real skill she has - selling pieces of her life to the highest bidder and being an absolute bitch while she's at it. Mind you, like most dogs, Jade Goody is pretty harmless. Just ask Shilpa Shetty. Personally, I thought the Bollywood actress did remarkably well out of the whole sorry scenario.

However, this post isn't really about Jade. I was initially compelled to blog about something entirely unrelated after reading about the Nurse Suspended for Offering Prayer.

I mean, seriously, does the woman in this picture look like she needs "equality and diversity training"? Anti-religion propaganda was finally getting to me, and I thought I'd do something constructive by supporting the right to practise whichever faith we choose (so long as it doesn't involve blowing up civilians, or walking around with our heads stuffed in pillowcases). Down with Political Correctness and all that...But in the end, I decided that the Daily Mail doesn't really need any help in spreading its particular brand of xenophobia.

Jade Goody is far more important of course...or in this case, Jade's critics.

Bless her! Good ole Jade is only doing what Jade Goody does best. Why change the habit of a lifetime just because you're dying? If anything, she ought to step up her efforts to grab whatever she can for her sons. Not like she's got much to lose! But a mother fighting for her children to have the best of everything is only natural, not extraordinary. Thousands of women have found themselves in the same situation...and I'm sure none of them needed a such a well-publicised drawn-out swan song.

Nope, Jade's business doesn't really warrant much concern in the great scheme of things. After all, it's her life (and death)! What I find incredible are the people so occupied with Jade Goody that they feel the need to dedicate entire websites to her.

"I’m sure Miss Goody is a brave little being, but she sure
as hell is milking all this career prolonging attention.
That is our beef with Jade Goody..."

I thought it was a wind-up at first. Perhaps set up by fans under the impression that all publicity is good publicity, and surely, you can't drum up much more hype than a haterade-fuelled bitch-fest. But wow, some people seriously hate Jade, and truly are offended by her very existence on our planet. (And there I was thinking the worst sentiment Jade could ever arouse was boredom.) They complain about her omnipresence within the media, and yet in the same breath, criticise her lifestyle, speculate upon her death, read her column, lap up stories about her day-to-day activities etc etc. And we wonder why she's getting all this attention?

"Does that mean we want her dead? No, we just want her
out of our newspapers and off our TV screens as there are
more deserving people out there."

My, my, such venom! Want her off newspapers and TV, but the internet is ok...truly! Not want her dead, but having fun at the expense of her predicament isn't in bad taste...no, not at all...and wouldn't it be great if she died on the exact day we predicted?

Who are we kidding? This has gone beyond a joke. Jade Goody might be an absolute cow at times, but the kind of animosity she's currently getting is more than a little disproportionate (particularly when there are children involved), and perhaps should also be reserved for "more deserving people out there"...such as Jack Tweed.

Related Articles:
Jade Goody's Profile
Jade's Last Reality Show
When Will Jade Goody Die - Comments

A chav by any other name...

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 18:23:00 +0000

"Directors of a travel company that sent customers an email
promising chav-free holidays have defended the move.

The email, sent out by Activities Abroad, included a list of names
travellers were likely to encounter on one of their holidays and another list
they would be less likely to meet.

Among the unlikely names were Britney, Kylie-Lianne, Dazza and
Shannon. The likely names included John, Sarah, James and Alice."

Taking the piss out of names may have been a seriously bad marketing ploy, but far more outrageous is this ridiculous 'Hug-a-Hoodie' attitude (even assuming that he doesn't try to knife you first).

"If I ever had any doubts (which I haven't) about banning the C-- word in
our house, I need look no further. Don't ever let anybody tell you that class is
not a live issue in Britain."

Of course class is an issue...It will always be an issue. Barring a few exceptions, people who have common interests and similar lifestyles will always gravitate towards one another. It's a natural part of our social existence. Deal with it.

You can't polish a turd...you can take the chav out of a council house, but you can't take the council house out of a chav...We've heard it all before. To consider the Biancas and Dazzas of this country part of the working class is a travesty for obvious reasons. It is, in fact, an insult to decent and hard-working people who may not have a lot of money, but somehow manage to educate themselves and earn the respect of those around them.

"The e-mail triggered a wave of publicity and controversy after it was
reported the email had offended some of the company's customers.

According to the company, only 18 people from the 24,000
emailed have written to complain about the e-mail."

This show of support is misplaced quite simply because it's encouraging the criminal underclass for, make no mistake, that's exactly what chavs are, and it is a reputation that they entirely deserve, so sympathy is wasted on them.

It's not what they wear, what accent they've got, or how much money they make, but the kind of behaviour they display that gives chavs all this bad press: anti-social, lazy and inconsiderate at the best of times; violent, destructive and dangerous at their worst. They never contribute; they only take. If all-the-above doesn't apply to you, then terribly sorry, you're just not quite chav material. Simple as. A high income, or lack of it, doesn't even come into the equation.

Whitewashing is never going to work...You can put a spin on any situation, but pandering to the politically-correct in this case still isn't going to make most of us want to walk on the same side of the road as a group of hoodies, let alone go on holiday with them.

Related Articles:
Chav-Free Holidays Defended
Firm Defends Chav-Free Holidays

Eat fish...

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:14:00 +0000

...It's good for you!

The above image shows the side of a fresh fish shop in the coastal town of Fleetwood, near where we live. Its sign never fails to tickle David and I everytime we pass it on one of our Mustang broom-broom trots. Last weekend, I thought it might be a good idea to take a picture of it in case it decides to disappear like everything else in this country.

This fish shop always reminds me of a song by Mr Scruff, simply entitled Fish, which is just as quirky and amusing in its own right. I sing it everytime David makes his scrummy fish pie, bopping along to the bit that goes "fish, fish-fish, fish-fish". It really needs to be sung to a special beat, and in a certain voice.

Perhaps this fishy motif only has special meaning to us because our entire household loves seafood (our kitty, Magic, included of course...though she never says no to any kind of food anyway), and fish features very regularly in our diet.

Indeed, fish is of great significance in our life, so much so that it has inspired the name of our soon-to-be-created 2v2 WoW Arena Team - Eating Fish...Two words that also make up some of the lyrics in that song by Mr Scruff. Sadly, a theme tune is not needful for our team, and we haven't even got a banner (yet)...However, I already know what our battlecry will be...

[Cue for Drumroll]

...FOR THE LOVE OF SALMON!!!!!!!!!!

This can also be shortened to 'FOR SALMON!'...Hopefully, that will be the last thing our opponents hear before they let a Death Knight and Druid beat the shit out of them (even if it is because they're too busy pissing themselves laughing).

*This post is dedicated to all the fish that have died for our cause.

PS - To find out more about my life in Azeroth, I would like to direct you to my Gaming Profile on Gax, which contains another (brand-spankingly-new) blog of mine entirely about the World of Warcraft. Alternatively, you can click the Gax Badge in the right-hand panel of this page.

Last Bastion of Marketing Ambiguity?

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 12:51:00 +0000

Cheap and cheerful as it'd always made itself out to be, I could never quite work out the point of Woolies (though 'wooly' would be a better description of its image).

Usually, when you're looking to buy a certain item, a brand name or store would immediately spring to mind. Most of us would visit our favourite supermarket if we needed groceries, go somewhere like Comet or Curries for electronics, and perhaps Ikea or Argos for furniture etc...But think of Woolworths, and I can come up with no good excuse to go there (not even for sweets), except as a last resort when I have been everywhere else.

I was among the vultures when the closing down sale began, and found nothing I actually wanted (massive discounts notwithstanding). If ever there was a giant storage facility where people could just dump all their useless unwanted gifts, it would look like Woolworths. Pretty ironic then, that it would go bust at this time of year...I've never seen the place so busy!

My home this Crimbo has been the complete opposite. A quiet and chilled-out festive season can sometimes be a good thing, but not when the reason is lack of money. I did try my best to keep the Christmas Spirit alive, but all I got for my efforts were complaints regarding the X'mas music I was inflicting upon the poor souls (Bah! Humbug!) around me.

Apart from a few highlights (eg. masked ball, night visit to the Halo etc), the back-end of 2008 was pretty uneventful on a personal level...We just did the usual (eg. turkey dinner at friends, visiting family, cinema trip etc)...nothing majorly exciting at all. But then again, it has probably been more quiet and depressing for some others than it has been for us, so perhaps we should count ourselves lucky. I am debating whether I ought to even bother uploading any videos/photos of our non-celebration this year, and can't quite make up my mind.

Oh well, if I do decide to do that eventually, I will update this post...In the meantime, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy New Year...Chin up! It can't be this miserable forever, even if the weather says otherwise!

UPDATED: 10 January 2009 @ 17:14

Right...I have uploaded some pics to my Flickr Collections, and they include snapshots of a new haircut which I got yesterday...My hair was getting too long and too difficult to maintain, so I've gone back to having a bob again (until I get bored next time and change it to something else). I have also added a X'mas home video to my YouTube page, but the same one is on Flickr as well.

PS - Just realised this is my 100th post!!! WOOT! Quite appropriate really, since that's just one more than the number of years Woolies needed to last a century in trading.

Abuse from Top-Down?

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 17:38:00 +0000

"A father is demanding police say sorry for jailing him
overnight after he smacked his son on the leg.

Mr Frearson said he had told Harry to stay with him
because it was dark. But the boy left the shop, and
after a 10 minute search he was found in a nearby park.
He smacked him once on the back of his leg, and the
two returned home."

We imprison a father who genuinely cares about what happens to his son, but do nothing to stop the months of torture done to Baby P. Clearly, a system that doesn't know where to draw the line.

Only in Great Britain...

Relevant Articles:
Dad Jailed After Smacking His Son
When Should a Child Go into Care?

Spotted in PC World

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 16:54:00 +0000

What a bargain...You can't get anymore basic than that!
It was the last one on the shelf too, so grab it before it's gone!!!

Wrong Side of 30

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:52:00 +0000

My 31st came and went with very little to mark it...Nope, not even a single line on my face...not yet at any rate!

The celebration (if it could be called that) was very low key (and low cost) at my request, but the highlight was definitely a trip to the Panopticons...and a scrummy dinner of Lancashire Hot Pot (a friend's speciality) rounded off with strawberries and chocolate fondue (consumed whilst watching the very first Singapore Grand Prix). I received a new gaming mouse from David, which arrived slightly belated, but I forgive him!

Our first stop was meant to be the Halo, but we got lost along the way. I didn't mind that so much as it is best viewed at night rather than high noon. My personal favourite's the Singing, Ringing Tree...After much discussion about this landmark with some friends at work, we've decided that it would've been more appropriate for it to have been named the Humming Cyclone, for obvious reasons. If you do a search on YouTube, you'll probably come across something which will play its haunting melody.

It was heartening to discover such beauty not so very far from Burnley, a drive through which proved rather harrowing...Some areas actually looked like the very depths of shellshocked hell. It didn't help that there was a big match on that day...Football having the tendency to bring out the rowdier elements of our community, and all that.

The Panopticons are a fairly new addition to the Pennines, but already you can see how industrious the vandals have been. Fortunately, the graffiti doesn't show up all that well on our photos...Let's just say I'm not a big fan of the urban look.

David took quite a few interesting pictures, and left the less arty snapshots to our mate Andy, who was also in charge of video. You can view more of the photos here.

The various features of the Panopticons are not signposted very well, so you have to do a bit of research to get specific directions to each of them. It can be a bit of a pain, but then again, I quite like the idea of fewer people being able to find these places...Makes the area more tranquil somehow.

No idea where our next daytrip will take us, but I'm sure I'll come up with something...Maybe the Forest of Dean Scupture Trail, or perhaps we could go check out the Wishing Fish Clock!

When god closes a door...

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 01:04:00 +0000

...Somewhere he opens a window.

Either that, or he was taking the day off when Photoshop was invented.

"The Archbishop of Canterbury said the
'pieces are on the board' to resolve the
row over homosexuality which threatens
to split the Anglican Church."
Enter a new paradox - the Gay Priest.

Then again, this sort of thing has been going on for generations...Clearly, there's much more taking place in the closet/booth than confessions!

Homosexuality and Christianity just don't make the best of partners (in bed or out of it), and although I bear no ill will against gays (far from it), having one as leader of a church community would simply be too hypocritical.

Let's just reserve this oxymoron for the occasional comedy gag (or as a name for the next new pub that opens in Blackpool).

Related Articles:
Way Ahead Found in Church Gay Row
Hymns Drown Out the Heckler

Jay-Z Who?

noreply@blogger.com (Charme) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:56:00 +0000

"Rapper Jay-Z stuck one finger up to Noel Gallagher
last night by starting his Glastonbury set with
a version of the Oasis hit Wonderwall – and
playing electric guitar."

I'd be the first to admit I'm not a fan of Hip Hop these days, and was a little baffled to hear one of its big names had been signed up to front Glastonbury. "WTF???", was my first thought. I think I'd have been less surprised to hear Oasis had won a MOBO award.

Muddy fields and tents are the sort of things I normally associate with the rocking Boho / Hippy / Indie crowd (how does one even begin to differentiate between them?), and I wasn't quite sure how bling would fit into the scene. But then again, things change. It's all about what's popular now (and what brings in the £££). If people want the likes of Jay-Z...Give it to them, I say.

Well, that was then...before the event. Jay-Z's childish reaction has only reinforced the opinions of those who found his presence at Glastonbury more than a bit incongruous. A shame really, since I was interested in finding out if Jay-Z could pull off a decent version of Wonderwall, and actually believed his take (if done properly) might prove refreshing. Sadly, his performance almost beat Amy Winehouse at the slurring game. Ironically, it also boosted sales for Oasis post-Glasto.

I should've known better...Glastonbury has always been a spectacle, and it's just got worse.

Sure, Gallagher's perspective was a bit harsh (though it has to be said that no criticism was actually directed at Jay-Z himself, or his music), but it was fair comment and one that was shared by many. Yet, instead of proving him wrong, Jay-Z turned it into a dissing match...Now, how is that about the music?

Related Articles:
Jay-Z at Glastonbury
Jay-Z Plays 'Wonderwall' at Glasto