the leanover

Dan Harmon Poops: It Won't Happen Again Again

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 03:26:20 -0600

Dan Harmon Poops: It Won't Happen Again Again:

My apolotweets might not have fit the scale of the crime for some, so I’m following them up with one of my patented apoloblogs. I want to clarify, I’m apoloblogging in an effort to counteract pain I caused other people. Not because I think what I have to say is important - this is one of those…

❤❤❤

Weird. I turned anonymous questions off and haven’t heard back from my secret admirer.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 22:49:54 -0600

Weird. I turned anonymous questions off and haven’t heard back from my secret admirer.

Post this for random size.. (if you would fit in it) WHY would someone be jealous of you? You have no home, no money, nothing. Not everything that glitters is gold. You may have an excitement of moment going on, but nothing else. Your attitude and demeanor speak for itself. You want to appear this fake image. After all, I suppose that is what Hollywood is for, but clearly, you aren't Hollywood.. so wrap it up.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:40:00 -0600

So… you’re concerned that I’m taking a risk? And you said people DON’T care! <3 (But let’s be clear, I have no intention of continuing a dialogue with some anonymous asshole.)

I’m taking a giant risk and everything could end in giant, flaming wreckage. So what? If it fails I’ll end up back at my mom’s house, a little deeper in debt. If it succeeds I’ll be doing something I love for a living.

As for your psychoanalysis … what I’m getting is a sense of projection of your own fundamental fears and values. Which is fine, we all have standards we use to judge people. The danger comes when you attack people for the way they differ. Everyone’s entitled to their differences, and you’re even entitled to be snotty and belligerent about it. At the end of the day though, it’s not YOUR problem. You can block me on Twitter, you can avoid me in reality, and you can live out your life without sparing me another thought. Because I’m fine, and if I’m ever not fine I’m surrounded by an amazing crew who are working as hard as I am to help me get somewhere because they know I’m good. And I’m helping them in every way I can.

This isn’t an industry that rewards being a shitty, deconstructive asshole like you’re choosing to be, and that’s why it’s so incomprehensible to you.

Thanks for your concern :)

Dude, no one cares or thinks you are funny. You are simply a fake, phony person who has the lamest material going on. Stop thinking you are the shit bomb. You aren't. No body likes a loser like you.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:52:44 -0600

Enough people find me funny that I can make a living at it.

Now think about the kind of person you are, taking time out of your day to attack a person “no one cares” about. Anonymously. On the internet. I appreciate how much you care to express something that most people would just think in silence while they ignored me and moved on with their lives.

Love

-
A

PS I know I’m lame. The trick is to market your deficiencies to the right people.

Media Round-Up

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:11:49 -0600

In preparing materials for my visa application I’m supposed to include things I’ve done that “legitimize” my presence in the entertainment industry. And I figure, why waste this just on a visa application when I can get the word out about me? So here you go.

Here’s me on Conan as Super Pumpkin Man.

Here’s me doing stand-up comedy at the Lyric Hyperion Theater.

Here’s me on the Hey Teens Podcast with Jon Wiener & Eric Gosselin.

(Same as above, but on iTunes).

Bonus:

Here’s me accidentally on The Nerdist’s Stand-Up Cluster.

is any of your standup on YouTube?

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:49:00 -0600

You can scroll back and see the link I’ve posted a couple times.

Or I can not be a dick and just post it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lC61S_unlw

who have you met/follow on twitter that you find inspiring and why?

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:41:32 -0600

Everyone on Twitter inspires me. People I meet in real life from Twitter are uniformly great.

whats your job right now/what job do you hope to have in the future?

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:40:24 -0600

I don’t have a job because I legally can’t work in America yet. I want to be I involved in TV writing & production. In fact, with the visa I’m getting I’m only going to be able to work writing jobs.

If anyone can give me a writing or writing assistant job please contact me. I’m good.

What's your favorite place to do work/write in LA?

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 01:56:21 -0600

I don’t know. I got the most writing done when I was checked into a Holiday Inn. LA has coffee shops but they’re all full of people writing and it weirds me out.

I miss the Matrix location of Starbucks because that one bench was perfect and I did good work there for years.

We’re good on emo bullshit, Tumblr.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 01:34:45 -0600

We’re good on emo bullshit, Tumblr.

were you abused by your dad?

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 00:30:50 -0600

Yep.

have you found someone you like in LA?

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 00:27:30 -0600

Sometimes I think so. I wish things were easier to figure out.

Did you want to marry, bang, or kill Madeline Kahn's character in 'Young Frankenstein'?

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 00:24:17 -0600

Bang and marry. Madeline Kahn is one my all-time super crushes.

Ain't we got fun?

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 22:38:47 -0600

I’m not into “fun.” Please stop.

Do you miss the cold, white north?

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 22:38:29 -0600

No.

Why do you think comedy and situations are so complex? Your brilliant but sometimes it's just luck.

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 22:38:11 -0600

Oh sure, an easy question.

Comedy is complex because it’s not just one thing, it’s connective tissue you find holding together large parts of your psyche and people in general. It works way less often that it fails, but the fact it works when it does is a miracle.

Luck helps. You can write the best joke in the world but if nobody hears it you may as well have written a recipe for food nobody wants, like gluten free pancakes.

Luck and comedy have something in common: they can be a series of chain reactions. When we say comedians have good timing it means they know when jokes are working and how to sustain the laughs they’re getting. It takes intuition and practice to know this. Luck is the same thing. If one thing lucky happens and it puts you near other good things that can happen, your ability to use that “luck” to get to the next thing is actually good skill.

I always say this, though (and I always like to give advice, even if nobody asks): you can only manage your corner of the world. If someone seems luckier than you it can cause a lot of resentment and frustration, which are two things that sap your ability to be creative and funny.

So you have to learn that luck happens sporadically and spontaneously, but if you have good material when luck happens to you there’s a better chance of getting to the next big thing.

What makes you giggle and what does your giggle sound like?

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 22:27:39 -0600

So many things make me giggle, but I always laugh the hardest at things my friends say or at really good live comedy shows. And my laugh is terribly obnoxious in all its manifestations.

ggg

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 21:52:03 -0600

I hope you’re independently wealthy if that’s your attitude.

How many times have you had sex with yourself? And would you have sex with William Shatner, allowing him to take a huge dump on your chest?

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 21:51:33 -0600

Like, a lot. And no. Go away.

Rob Delaney: 'Men in their 20s are the worst thing happening on our planet'

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 18:20:33 -0600

Rob Delaney: 'Men in their 20s are the worst thing happening on our planet':

robdelaney:

It’s funny to me that they used that quote as the header…

He’s going to get a lot of flack for this, but he’s not wrong.