The Lightning Bug's Lair

4/20 Special: The Bugg's Top 10 Best Stoner Film Moments

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 20:20:00 +0000

Hey, man. It is that magical day when stoners everywhere celebrate 4/20 a.k.a Weed Day, Reeferween, National Doug Benson Day, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Despite the fact that the whole 4-20 police code thing has pretty much been put down to being hooey, the tradition has stuck and April twenty has become something of a celebration of the herbalist way of life. The most special moment comes but twice a day, four twenty A.M. and P.M. The latter will find a few hearty souls staying up to make it to the wee small hours while many others will fall asleep, snack food at their side, bong wobbling precariously in hand. The former, which if you caught this post as it came out then you know what time it is, is when the majority of the fans of the dank are sparking up in honor of the day. As a person who appreciates the stoner way of life, I wanted to get into the spirit myself. So I broke apart a few of my favorite stoner films, picked out the kindest scenes from each one, and I rolled them all up into this list of the Top 10 Stoner Moments in Film. Enjoy, and don't Bogart this list, my friend, pass it around to all your friends.

10. James Franco and Danny McBride share herb with a perverted wizard mushroom in Your Highness.

Your Highness is unfairly maligned when it comes to the humor on display in general and the stoner elements in particular. My favorite moment comes when Franco and McBride detour to see a wizard who turns out to be a mushroom shaped puppet, like the bastard child of a Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. The wizard proceeds to pass around the good bud before hitting the pair up for a hand job in return for his magical services. Hey, it's not the way that I like to interact with my dealer, but to each his own. While the example is extreme, anyone who has bought drugs has had to deal with someone who was creepy or wanted you to hang out and check out their collection of knives, feed their fish, or watch their kids for a minute when all you want to do is grab and go… and not in that way.

9. Jon Stewart likes everything better on weed in Half Baked.

Despite starring a pre-crazy Dave Chapelle, I don't appreciate the charms of Half Baked. Perhaps it has something to do with the presence of Jim Brewer, who looks high all the time, but he doesn't actually get high. For some reason it bothers me that he’s cashing in on droopy eyelids. If I looked like I was on meth, but wasn't, I wouldn't star in a movie about crazy hijinks on meth. That would be exploiting my methiness when there are plenty of actual meth head actors who need the work. Let me get back on topic here. There’s this one continuing joke throughout the movie with a young pre-Daily Show Jon Stewart as the “Enhancement Stoner” Everyone has met a dealer who wants to know if you've done/seen/heard/eaten "on weed". He’s probably the same guy who told you about playing Dark Side of the Moon with Wizard of Oz (which is bullshit, but, man, Genius/Gza Liquid Swords and Ninja Scroll, on weed, that’s the real stuff.) While Half Baked was indeed a half baked stoner romp, for the “Enhancement Stoner“ alone it makes for a spot on the list.

8. Fritz gets Baked with the Crows in Fritz the Cat.

Ralph Bakshi’s X rated film based off the R. Crumb comic has many outrageous moments. However, perhaps the first scene that really puts the film way out there is when Fritz, who’s been in a bag, goes down to the Crow bars looking for kicks. He gets more than he bargained for when he meets Bertha whose joints drive him into a sex frenzy before causing Fritz to inspire a riot. In the face of the drug experiences still to come in the film, it is a small moment, but a visually interesting one that sends the Cat off the deep end and into a dark, dark place. While most people don't go sex mad and cause a race riot, like many of the other moments I have picked, it is an extreme that brings up a issue of white and black separatism and the white “tourism” to black areas to get drugs/sex, etc. I don't have the space to fully explore the issue myself here, but see the flick and see what you think for yourself.

7. Ali G smokes his way past security in Ali G Indahouse.

I don't like Borat. I can't stand Bruno. I didn't like Cohen in Les Mis or Hugo. However, give me an episode of the Ali G Show, or better yet his film effort, and you can sign me up. The hip hop inspired character that has plenty of "respect" ends up getting more respect than he bargained for when he gets voted into Parliament. However when he has to break into the home of the evil Prime Minister (future Games of Thrones baddie Charles Dance) to foil an evil plot, he runs into a laser system a la Entrapment. With clever use of marijuana smoke, Ali G is popping and locking through the beams with his friends, including future Bilbo Baggins Martin Freeman, to save his hometown of Stains. Respect.

6. Hank Azaria and Bon Jovi get high in Homegrown.

Homegrown is one of the finest stoner flicks out there, but I think it gets overlooked because it’s a thriller about the business of growing the crop rather than a goofy comedy about smoking the product. That doesn't mean it doesn't provide some solid stoner moments. My favorite involves the weed growers, Billy Bob Thornton, Hank Azaria, and Ryan Phillipe, sharing a hot tub and a few joints with a potential buyer played by Jon Bon Jovi. When the "You Give Love a Bad Name" singer muses that the weed is so good he can't remember how to stand, Azaria replies flatly with precise stoner logic, "Feet." It works precisely because it is stupid and it is real. The foursome crack up and smiles are exchanged, friendships are being formed. I can remember many I have formed over a stupid comment and a few puffs, and there are quite a few I can't because, um short term, whatever- memory you know, loss and stuff.

5. Bridget Fonda and Robert De Niro do Bong Hits in Jackie Brown.

Why is this moment so great? Because it's freakin' Rupert Pupkin/ Travis Bickle/ Young Vito Corleone/ hitting the bong and having to be taught where the carb is by beach bunny Bridget Fonda. It's just fun to know what Bobby D looks like hitting a water pipe, and Fonda is the type of gal that every stoner guy dreams of passing to. (On the left hand side, naturally.) I have no justification for this pick. I just love it.

4. Brad Pitt doesn't want to be patronized in True Romance.

In the second straight Tarantino related entry, Brad Pitt sheds his pretty boy looks for a bit part as Floyd, the stoner roommate, in Tony Scott's True Romance. While his part is limited, it is memorable, and it launched a cottage industry for making bongs out of honey bears. When Pitt delivers the line to an empty living room moments after gunman have filed out, Floyd’s synapses can be seen firing with the stoner rage barely contained. Yeah, stoner rage. There is such a thing. It’s very low key, but it usually happens when confronted by sober people, or worse yet drunks, who treat smokers as if they are unable to think and relate to the world around them anymore. Those folks, they don't need to patronize me, man.

3. Matthew McConaughey lets us know that it would be a lot cooler if we had weed in Dazed and Confused.

Richard Linklater's love letter to the 70's was near perfect, but the most perfect thing about it was the small role filled by an actor named Matthew McConaughey. As Wooderson, Matthew oozed cool from his shag haircut to the weed pipe built into his belt buckle. Sure, he may have questionable intent with some high school girls, but he, like Jon Stewart's earlier character, knows everything is cooler with weed. The reason I love this moment is that I remember how shady and illicit the world of weed seemed to me in high school. I could put myself in the shoes of Wiley Wiggins’ high school kid, confronted by a super cool older dude, and wishing that you did have some weed because you would be a lot cooler if you did. Am I saying weed makes you cool? I won't say yay or nay, but there must be a reason that the standard broaching of the subject at parties or between acquaintances tends to go back to the query, “Are you cool?”

2. Ice Cube asks if he still looks high in Friday.

People will wonder why I put this moment so high up on my list. It's for the simple fact, out of all the stoner movies I've seen, this simple concern, looking high, rarely enters the picture. I'm pretty sure the Harold and Kumar pictures would come to a screeching halt if they fretted about how bloodshot their eyes were. Despite already being a world famous rapper, Ice Cube makes his character Craig a real guy with actual concerns apart from smoking weed, but concerning yourself with how high you actually look is something that anyone who has ever put a spliff to their lips can relate to. Sure, there are plenty of ways to look less high. Go somewhere outside and wear sunglasses. (Don't be inside wearing them because then you look like a douche or like you're trying to hide a black eye.) Use some Visine. Splash some water on your face. The problem is that it doesn't matter how high you look to the outside world. It’s all about the paranoia of how high you think other people think that you are. Once you get over that, that’s when you turn from Cube’s Craig to Chris Tucker’s Smokey.

1. Cheech and Chong roll the world's biggest joint in Up in Smoke.

I really could have picked almost any moment from almost any Cheech and Chong movie (that isn't The Corsican Brothers) to fill this slot. To this day, Tommy Chong and Cheech Marin still set the bar for stoner comedies, and you have to respect the work effort that these two put forward while indulging in massive amounts of ganja on a regular basis. You've heard of high functioning alcoholics? These were high functioning stoners. They're rare, but it happens. I mean how else do you think this got written? While it is expected, there’s just no one else to put at the top of a stoner movie list, and if you're a fan of the sticky icky and you haven’t daydreamed about having a joint like Cheech and Chong, well, you need to daydream more….on weed!

Well, I hope that sparks up everyone's 4/20, and until next year, remember that a friend with weed, or a list about movies about weed, is a friend indeed. Have a great one, and light one up for the ol' Bugg today.

Across 110th Street (1972): You’ve Got to Be Strong

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 06:19:00 +0000

When I hear the song “Across 110th Street” by the immortal Bobby Womack, the first thoughts that come to my mind are the final scenes of Quentin Tarantino’s Jackie Brown where Pam Grier makes her exit from the film to the strains of the song. Like so many things in QT’s films, there is a direct film homage he is working for, and this time the film itself shares a title with the song. In the early 70s, Blaxploitation films were all the rage, and Across 110th Street shares some values with that breed of film. However, thanks to the performances of two strong leads, a tight plot with substance, and some gritty camera work, Across 110th Street feels like it belongs beside a film like In the Heat of the Night more than The Monkey Shuffle or The Mack. With the same urban appeal that made films like The French Connection feel so very real, Across 110th Street invites the viewer to come up to Harlem and see how the racial barriers divide, insulate, and ultimately must be overcome. Plus, there’s shooting and Anthony Quinn socks a lot of people in the jaw. So worry not, there may be plenty of message, but there’s a whole lot more going on Across 110th.

Events are set in motion when a duo of mob guys goes to pick up their cash from the Harlem number runners. While counting it out, two black policemen burst in, but they aren’t there to break up the action. They’re phonies there to steal the cash. Gunning down the mob guys and the local Harlem mobsters, the two crooks hightail it knowing the police, the mafia, and the local boys will be on their ass. When the police are dispatched, Captain Mattelli (Anthony Quinn) certainly thought he was going to head up the investigation, but the boys downtown have other ideas and send in Lt. Pope (Yaphet Kotto) to head up the investigation and defuse racial tensions. While Pope’s presence might calm the streets, Mattelli and the Lieutenant butt heads over methods. Mattelli is fond of beating confessions out of suspects while Pope would question everyone in the tight lipped Harlem community. Meanwhile, out on the streets, mob enforcer Nick D’Salvio (Anthony Franciosa) and the Harlem crime lord Doc Johnson (Richard Ward) are out to find the culprits and the money before the police can lock them safely in jail.

In the Heat of the Night, which I referred to earlier, was released in 1967 to much critical fanfare, and the story of a black and a white cop, Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger, teaming up to go against crime in Mississippi is somewhat the high brow version of what you get with Across 110th Street. However where it differs is the placement of the white cop. Rod Steiger’s character was a good old boy, but Anthony Quinn, who also produced Across 110th Street, instead is shown as an adversary to the community instead of one of their own. Yaphet Kotto’s character enters like the opposite of Poitier’s character, dealing with racism from within and not from outside. During one of the most poignant moments of Across 110th Street, Kotto’s Lt. Pope asks of Captain Mattelli, “When are you going to look at me as a cop?” This is the very crux of the story. Mattelli is so set in his ways of treating all the residents of Harlem as criminals that he can’t overcome seeing someone with the same skin tone as an equal, or worse yet, his superior.

Over the course of the film, Quinn’s character grows increasingly more dottering, and as events slip away from him, he finally sees the writing on the wall. Not only are his methods and procedures outdated, his whole system of thought is one of a bygone era. Mattelli is a relic, and thanks to the jarringly fine performance from Quinn, the character becomes fascinating to watch as his world crumbles behind his eyes. Anthony Quinn is certainly a legendary actor, and he had the clout to get the movies done he wanted to get done. I can only assume from the way he played his role that he felt very passionate about making Across 110th. Equally interesting to see is Kotto who commands the same kind of power with his voice that Poitier could, but Yaphet can convey more of a feeling of strength, power, and simmering, barely contained rage. If there’s any question of that, then look only to the next year when Kotto played the villain Mr. Big in the James Bond classic Live and Let Die.

There are many great performances in Across 110th Street, but I only wanted to touch on a couple of more. Richard Ward, perhaps best known as Steve Martin’s dad in The Jerk, is perfectly suited to play the gravel voice hoodlum Doc Johnson. While his role is minimal, the verbal sparring between Johnson and the Italian mobsters is a highlight of the film. I will warn anyone who wants to watch the movie not to be squeamish about racial epithets. They fly like crazy, and no one is safe. Ed Bernard should also get a shout out for his role as the one robber who had doubts about their actions, and Antonio Fargas, best known as Huggie Bear on Starsky and Hutch, makes an appearance as the crook who doesn't know how to sit on his money until the heat blows over. With his very flashy performance, Fargas looked like he was already playing Huggie some three years before the Bear would hit the small screen.

Director Barry Shear was no stranger to political tones in his films. While he had worked primarily as a television director over the years, he made a major contribution to cult cinema in 1968 when he directed the teen gets elected president feature Wild in the Streets. Like Wild, Across 110th Street seems to open the camera wide onto not just events in the film, but also what was happening in the real world. Shear filmed on location in Harlem, and the film feels all the better for it with gritty 70s New York feeling like the powder keg that it actually was. Of course, I can’t close out talking about Across 110th Street without again mentioning the music by Bobby Womack. The version of the title song up top feels more plaintive than the one used by Tarantino in Jackie Brown, but it sets the tone for the proceedings. Several of Womack’s other songs were used in the film, and each of them fits in perfectly. If you are not familiar with Bobby Womack’s songs, then take it from the ever lovin’ blue eye’d Bugg and get familiar with some great, great soul music.

While Across 110th Street isn't the most artful film to talk about race relations and it isn't the most badass, campy, or funny film to come out of the Blaxploitation era, it does succeed by being gritty and feeling very real. Sure, there might be too many Tommy Guns on the street for it to be as realistic as is could have been, but it takes the viewer back to a bygone era, one that hasn't fully vanished. While most of us don’t bat an eye at a cop due to his ethnicity, there are some who still don’t see a black man, an Asian, or even a woman as a cop. The lingering specter of racism still holds sway on the American people. If you don’t believe it, then ask yourself how many Presidents had to prove they were Americans by birth? In the film, Across 110th Street was the imaginary line where Harlem began and Manhattan ended. The real barriers were in the mind and in the heart, and if you’re going to cross those, as Mr. Womack says, “ You've got to be strong, if you want to survive.”

Bugg Rating

Love Actually (2002) Yes, Actually, Love Actually!

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 20:54:00 +0000

For many years, five in fact, I’ve thought about writing a review of Love Actually, one of my favorite Christmas films and romantic comedies, but I wasn’t sure what really to say about the film. This year, I’m trying to take the spirit of the season more into my heart. Working in retail as I do by day, it can take the Christmas spirit right out of you, and gentle solaces in films like Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life, and Silent Night Deadly Night can be the thing that puts it back in. While I wouldn’t add Love Actually to the vaunted status of those films, there’s something sweet and romantic about Richard Curtis’ film that appeals to the humanist in me during a season that is dominated by religious imagery. There’s no doubt that it is a bloated and flawed film that both exploits the viewers emotions and dabbles in cliché however I forgive it its trespasses. After all Christmas is the time to tell the truth, and the truth is that I love Love Actually.

It would take more time than I want to spend to write a full synopsis of the film as it concerns ten separate love stories that intersect and overlap over the month leading up to Christmas. As you can see by the chart after the jump, it could be quite confusing, but with a two and half hour running time, there’s plenty of space to get to know everyone. However there are still relationships and minor notes that I have picked up even after many viewings over the years. So I’m going to count off a few of the stories by their importance to me in the film.

1. Billy and Joe (Bill Nighy and Gregor Fisher) There really wouldn’t be a film without these two. While theirs is the only story that is self contained and doesn’t directly overlap with any of the other characters, it both sets the tone and becomes a thread throughout the entire film. So central is their storyline, it only goes to illustrate my longtime thinking about Love Actually. It’s not really a “chick flick” as many would think, but more of a “bromance”. Certainly during Billy’s rise to the top of the pops with his single “Christmas is Everywhere” (The song “Love is Everywhere” had been a hit in the UK when it was featured in Curtis’ Four Weddings and a Funeral.), the central “love” story becomes about two friends. Like almost all of the other scenarios, the love story is an idealized male romantic fantasy of love. While alone in his rock star world, Billy still had Joe, a best friend and confidant, to stick by his side.

2. Jamie and Aurelia (Colin Firth and Lucia Moniz) Years before Firth spun stuttering into motion picture gold, he appeared in this minor, but memorable storyline about a writer who falls in love with his housekeeper who doesn’t speak English. He learns Portuguese and over Christmas goes to find her. This is the segment that will always tug at my heartstrings. Not only are the character’s interactions in languages unknown to each other entertaining, they set in motion an unexpectedly sweet tale. Much of this is the performances of both actors, but as I mentioned earlier, it seems like a daydream that I would have had in my youth, a romantic fantasy with an entirely male slant to it. Aurelia is portrayed as strong willed and interesting, but her love is not the focus of the story.

3. The Prime Minister and Natalie (Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon) In arguably the films cutest segment, the newly elected PM falls for “chubby girl” Natalie and goes to find her on Christmas Eve. (Seeing a trend here?) Hugh Grant, still in command of all the pausing charms he showed off in Curtis’ Four Weddings, delivers some of the best jokes in the film, and Ms. McCutcheon is by far the most fetching woman in the film for my dollar. The highlight of their story line comes when the visiting American president, played by Billy Bob Thornton, makes a pass at Natalie that almost puts a kibosh on love. Naturally Christmas and love win, and their resolution, being revealed kissing during the finale of an elementary school play, is the start of a great resolution for Love Actually.

4. Peter, Mark, and Juliet (Chiwetel Ejiofor, Andrew Lincoln, Keira Knightley) I might have well left out Mr. Ejiofor, but as this is one of the film’s two love triangles, I thought it best to give him some credit. The real story here is his character’s best friend who is in love with his new bride. Lincoln has to straddle a line here between sweet and creepy, but he does it well. Some set decorator snuck in a nod to Lincoln's stalkerish behavior of only shooting video of Knightley’s character at her wedding ith a copy of Rear Window prominently on the shelf in his apartment when she comes to look at his footage. Of course this was years before Lincoln became an American law enforcement officer caught up in the undead apocalypse, and while he doesn't land Knightly (instead melding Say Anything and Bob Dylan’s clip for Subterranean Homesick Blues to deliver a message of unrequited love), he sure can blow some zombies away.

5. Harry, Karen, and Mia (Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, and Heike Makatsch)/ Sarah and Karl (Laura Linney and Rodrigo Santoro) I lump these two relationship storylines as they overlap a bit (Harry is Sarah’s boss), but more importantly because they showcase the two most tragic storylines in film. Perhaps not coincidentally, they are the main storylines that find women as their linchpin. Karen and Harry have clearly been married for a while, but when Mia, who dresses as a devil for the office Christmas party (did she not get the memo on which holiday it was?), puts the move on Harry, a misplaced Christmas gift leads to marital tension. Sarah can’t even get past anything but tension. Her special needs brother is in need of her constant contact, or so she thinks, to the detriment of a budding relationship with the longtime object of her affections, Karl. Linney’s storyline is perhaps the most tragic in the film. She wants love, but she is also a prisoner of another kind of deeper love. After Harry’s dalliance, Karen is left to figure out where they fit together anymore, and love of family again comes first.

The remaining story lines are all equally entertaining. Colin (Kris Marshall) going to America to wield his “cute accent” to land babes (one of which is a pre-Mad Men January Jones, AMC represent in Love Actually), John and Judy (The Office,and future Bilbo Baggins, Martin Freeman and Johanna Page) as naked stand ins who meet cute, and Daniel and Sam (Liam Neeson and Thomas Sangster) as a recently widowed father and stepson learning about love all provide moments, but sometimes they are moments where I patiently wait for other preferable stories. The naked stand ins, as well as Linney in her story line provide for more nudity than I would normally expect in a rom com, and this also leads me further to believe that the entire film is slanted toward a male audience.

Now anyone who is a reader of the LBL knows that I can watch some hardcore stuff with the best of them, but sometimes I like pure escapist fantasy that has the ability to move me in some way. British journalist Will Self said Love Actually was 'the most grotesque and sick manipulation of a cinema audience's feelings that I've ever seen since Leni von [sic] Riefenstahl's Triumph of the Will', and I can’t help but agree. I also can’t help but love the film for all its button pushing, emotion twisting, and tear jerking qualities. When I mentioned earlier that the film is overlong, it is, but it also gives the entire movie the quality of an epic cinematic poem to on screen love. Curtis took everything that had been good about classic romantic films and tried to put it all up there on the screen. The result is uneven, but the backdrop of Christmas brings the extra layer of goodwill Love Actually needs to survive the rocky moments. So, this once, forgive me the trespass of loving a bubblegum film that gives me cheap laughs, a few smiles, and the occasional good weep, but I do, and that’s the truth for this Christmas.

Bugg Rating

Elf-Man (2012) It’s a Bird. It’s a Plane! It’s Wee-Man Vs. Re-Animator?

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Sun, 02 Dec 2012 03:32:00 +0000

December is finally here, and as readers of the LBL know, I always enjoy watching all the naughty and nice that holiday films have to give. So that means I have to take a lot of risks at time, and today’s film certainly was one. What I didn't expect was that it would have so many connections that were right in my wheelhouse and, most shockingly of all, that it would actually be kind of, in a way, alright. Boy, that would look great as a blurb on the poster on a poster for Elf-Man. My first exposure to the film was seeing a two by three picture for it on my local Redbox, and the title caught my eye instantly. It sounded like the original, overly descriptive title for Will Ferrell’s Elf, and visions of a knock off film danced in my head like the much talked about sugar plums. When it slid out of the machine, I had no idea Elf-Man starred the shortest member of the Jackass crew as well as having connections to House, House II: The Second Story, and Re- Animator. However it would become a light, almost magical Christmas treat.

Elf-Man (Jason ‘Wee-Man’ Acuna), who is never given a proper name apart from elf or the titular heroic honorific, is on his first run as a helper on Santa’s sleigh after years of toiling in the toy shop. Unfortunately, this means he is on reindeer poop patrol. Meanwhile, Eric (Mackenzie Austin) has made a massive scientific breakthrough, a source for infinite energy, which is only important because the gang of thugs lead by Mickey (Jeffery Combs) wants to get their hands on it. Eric is not much of a Christmas guy since his wife died a while back, but he’s trying to do the best he can for his kids Kasey and Ryan (Carly Robel and Blake Kaiser). When the kids Gramma (Marty Terry) comes to visit, she finds an old elf toy in the Christmas things and tells a tale of wishing for an elf’s help on Christmas Eve. Taking the story to heart, Kasey wishes for an elf to come and make her family happy again, and by happenstance (or was it Christmas magic?), Elf-Man gets left behind at the kid’s house. When Mickey and his thugs kidnap Eric, Kasey turns to Elf-Man, who is, of course, essentially a coward, to save the day.

From the moment in the synopsis when I mentioned that Elf-Man was on poop duty, I assume most of you picked up on the level of sophisticated humor going on here. There’s more than a few scatological jokes, and gross out gags like Granny’s eggnog made with turkey eggs and buttermilk are common as well. Here’s the thing. It’s not made for my refined sensibilities as a movie viewer. It’s made for kids, but there’s a part of me that can turn off the critical eye more during a Christmas movie if it’s got its heart in the right place. Elf-Man for me really did. The core themes are self esteem and family, and that’s never a bad lesson for anyone. The fact that there are more pratfalls than a marathon of Three Stooges shorts is also not such a bad thing. We all know Wee-Man can take a fall, but Jeffery Combs especially gets into the physical humor and shines. Now I don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression. It isn't going to be the next Miracle on 34th Street. Hell, Elf-Man isn’t even the next Prancer, but it is sweet, stupidly funny, and enjoyable to watch.

In the teaser I mentioned the many horror movie connections, and really this whole project was a step outside of the comfort zone for practically everyone involved. Writer/director Ethan Wiley is best known to horror buffs for his screenplay House and the follow up House II: The Second Story which he also directed. In fact, every other credit in his IMDB, down to the nod for his work on the jam “X is the loneliest number” for Jason X, is for a horror or genre title. It’s no wonder that he pun in a couple of horror actors into his Christmas movie. Jeffery Combs, star of Re- Animator, of course tops that list, and he tops the list of reasons to see Elf-Man. Combs so neatly chewed up the scenery it could be unfolded like a paper snowflake for all to marvel at. Marty Terry, the Grandma, appeared in Children of the Corn II, Cry Wolf, and Black Rainbow, and if you count some of the scenes in the Jackass films, and I do, then Wee-Man should be added to the list as well. Jason Acuna, who should drop the 'Wee' moniker, is actually pretty good as Elf-Man. He’s not the best actor, but he is trying to give a performance though often it gets the better of him in the heavier moments. I could see him transitioning to making more kids films, but he needs to leave his nickname and Knoxville connections at the door.

If you've ever wondered what it would be like if Jeffery Combs had a couple of thugs, a big black guy and a dude with an outrageous French accent, and did his version of the robbers in Home Alone, then you’re in luck because that’s what you’ll get. The unfortunate part of the film is that the family, Eric and his kids, are so milquetoast that it’s hard to feel much of anything about them. The humanizing element was the Grandmother, and she got far too little of the time. I didn't even mention the love story between Eric and the gal from the butcher shop who looked like half price Penelope Cruz, but it really just took up time and seemed a bit out of place. The dead mother already sets the movie up on a weird tone, and then pushing in adult flirting and such is a layer that I’m not sure needed to be in there. If you’re looking for something stupid to get you in the holiday mood or you need something tolerable to watch with the kiddos, then I think you could do a damn sight worse then Elf-Man as far as even this years’ new batch of Christmas films go. Well, that’s going to do it for today, but I’ll be opening my sack of goodies to add to the Christmas vault here at the LBL all month long.

Bugg Rating

For the Love of Price: Scream and Scream Again and The Oblong Box

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 03:02:00 +0000

Once again I hand over the reins of the LBL to my best pal Fran Goria. She's got a double feature of the often mustachioed master of the macabre Vincent Price to help us celebrate Movember. Remember, donations are still being accepted to aid the fight against prostate and testicular cancer by clicking on the icon on the to right, the auction is still underway for the Charles Bronson Icon of Awesomeness painting with all proceeds to benefit Movember charities. Now with that out of the way, I'll turn it over to Fran.

Hi folks! I have a double feature for you tonight starting with 1970’s Scream and Scream Again, followed by 1969’s The Oblong Box. These films have a couple of things in common. They both star Vincent Price and Christopher Lee, they share opposite sides of a Midnite Madness Double Feature DVD, and they were both directed by Gordon Hessler. Hessler also directed a third film starring Price in 1970 titled Cry of the Banshee. My personal favorite bit of trivia about Hessler is that he directed many episodes of the TV cop action series CHIPS from 1978-1982, and the TV movie Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. Now with all that out of the way, the first of tonight’s features is…

SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN 1970

This is usually where I write a little plot summery or tell you a bit about the film, and I would love to, however, I watched this movie twice, and I don’t rightfully know what the f*@k it was about. There were some Nazis, a vampire, some detectives investigating some murders, and a doctor with a random vat of acid. That’s all I've got. I read on IMDB, that years after filming, Vincent Price said that never understood the script. I could not confirm this statement in my sources, but I did find a quote by Christopher Lee in reference to the plot of this film where he said that he “never really worked it all out”. I was not the only one.

The screenplay was based on a Peter Saxon novel titled The Disoriented Soul. In the novel, the main villains were aliens. For the film, aliens were replaced by Nazis. Perhaps this is where things went so horribly wrong. I have never read the book, but I don’t think I would understand the film any better with aliens then I did with Nazis. The film also had some lighting issues that may have added to the plot confusion. Any scene that was in the dark or in shadows was impossible to see. Apparently there was a murder or two, but I really just had to take the script’s word of it. Why go through the trouble of shooting a scene that can’t be seen? They should have scrapped one of the plot points that couldn't be fulfilled, and then used the saved money to buy a lamp.

The film opens with a man jogging. Suddenly, he grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He wakes up in a hospital to discover that one of his legs is missing. Why? I don’t know. Who is he? I don’t know. Is his existence in the film ever explained? Nope. Then there are the Nazis. They seem to kidnap and torture people. Why? I don’t know. This is where Peter Cushing comes in as Major Heinrich Benedek. He gets about 3 minutes of screen time, and then he is promptly murdered. Most of the story’s time is devoted to Detective Bellaver’s (Alfred Marks) investigation of a series of murders seemingly committed by a vampire. Somewhere along the way we meet Fremont (Christopher Lee) who seems to be a government official, and Dr. Browning (Vincent Price) who creates artificial limbs and had a disposal tank of acid. One would think that Dr. Browning would be the connection to the before mentioned jogger, but one would be wrong.

(Editor: Slight spoilers ahead, but as i sat though this one and couldn't figure it out either, then I don't see how this would effect your viewing experience.) All of the main plot players come together at the end. Why? I don’t know. The ending just makes this film more absurd. Any vague attempts at connecting the dots fell flat and explained nothing. All of the main characters, except Christopher Lee, die. Why? I don’t know. Vincent Price was topped billed in this film, but he only appeared for a few minutes in the first ¾ of the film. He did have a nice big scene at the end. This gave him a chance to bring a little of his magic to the film. Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to save the thing. Price did a fine job with what he was given; no performance can save an impossible plot.

I’m rating this film a 1 out of 5, and I think I’m being generous. I awarded ½ a point to an entertaining fight sequence at the end, although I’m not sure why the fight was taking place. I also gave ½ a point for the performances of Price and Lee. I may have given more credit here, if I understood the purpose of their characters. Overall, I hated this movie, and it hurts my soul a little to feel this way about a Vincent Price film. I hope to never, ever, even ever see it again. I can only hope that tonight’s second feature makes up for the cinematic tragedy that is Scream and Scream Again.

Price Rating

THE OBLONG BOX 1969

The film opens with a voodoo ceremony in which Edward Markum (Alister Williamson) is cursed. The curse was meant for Edward’s brother, Julian (Vincent Price), and it leaves Edward facially disfigured and half mad. Julian keeps his brother chained in an upstairs bedroom and locked away from the world. Edward, wanting to be free and to cure his afflictions, hatched a scheme with a family friend, trench (Peter Arne). The plan is simple, fake Edward’s death with a voodoo potion, dig him up, and set him free to seek revenge on Julian. Everything went according to plan, except that Trench decided to just not bother digging the very alive man back up. Fortunately for Edward, two grave robbers are in the habit of snatching fresh corpses for respected Dr. Neuhartt (Christopher Lee). Who will survive as the death toll rises in The Oblong Box.

It sure is refreshing to watch a film with a discernible plot. The Oblong Box is another one of those “faux Poe” films. Any period horror with Vincent Price surely must have an Edgar Allan Poe title, but not necessarily an Edgar Allan Poe story. This is also the first film to star both Vincent price and Christopher Lee, although the two only shared one scene together. When Price agreed to do the film, it was set to be directed by screenwriter Lawrence Huntington. I assume that poor health is the reason Huntington was replaced as director; he died shortly after production began. When Price arrived in London to begin filming, Michael Reeves (Witchfinder General) was at the helm as director (he died three months later). Eight days later, when filming began, Reeves was unhappy with script and in poor health himself. This is when the film’s producer, Gordon Hessler, stepped in to direct.

There were several notable performances in The Oblong Box. The film’s leading lady was Hilary Dwyer. She played Julian’s (Price) fiancée Elizabeth. She also Played Price’s rape victim in Witchfinder General, and then she went on to play his daughter in Cry of the Banshee. Dwyer has run the gamut of female counterparts in Vincent Price films. She did a fine job with this role. In the first half of the movie, Dwyer is easily over looked. This was probably due to short screen time. She became a bit more of a main player for the second half, and she had an endearing quality that I liked. Christopher Lee played Dr. Neuhartt, a respected doctor who has to resort to unsettling means to complete his experiments. Lee was wonderful in the role, although he looked a little odd. He wore a grey 60’s shag style wig. It took me half of his first scene to get past it. Luckily, Christopher Lee is a professional. Soon the wig seemed natural. Lee has a very strong screen presence, as does Price, and I would have like to see the two in more scenes together. The one they did share had little interaction between the two. Speaking of Vincent Price, he was lovely as the tortured by guilt and shame sophisticate. I liked his character and performance, but I admit this wasn't his best work. He was just slightly less grand than usual. I still found his performance to be appealing. His character had much it hide, and Price played it has a man with much to hide. I have no complaints about that.

I enjoyed The Oblong Box It’s not my favorite, but I liked it. I thought the story was interesting enough, and the script was fair. Yes, an effect or two was slightly off. Yes, a character (Sally) was called the wrong name (Shelly) by a butler. These little things probably should have been fixed in editing. Even still, I kinda liked it.

Price Rating

Calendar Girl Murders (1984) Don’t Startle the ‘Stache, You’ll Skerritt

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 23:13:00 +0000

I remember a Christmas, when I was about twelve or thirteen, and one of my gifts from my Grandparents was a calendar of ladies in swimwear on the beach. This gift made several things go through my mind including will my mom let me keep it, how cool is my Grandpa for picking it out, and I wonder if you can see any nipples. Hey, what can I say, I was an adolescent horndog. (Who. coincidentally is grew into a middle aged horn dog, but that’s an entirely different matter.) My mother did indeed let me keep the calendar, and it hung by my bedside for the next twelve months providing me some beautiful, tan, sexy, barefoot fantasy girlfriends who obviously were on the coldest beaches of all time. Today’s film, Calendar Girl Murders, brought the memory to mind due to its title, but it really should have been the Centerfold Girl Murders to be accurate. More on that later. I chose the film because it stars one of the unsung heroes of the movie mustache Tom Skerritt, who sadly is overshadowed by that other mustachioed Tom, Mr. Selleck. Today though, is Skerritt’s time to shine. So join me as I turn the pages of Calendar Girl Murders.

Richard Trainor (Robert Culp) is a Hugh Hefner-like figure who runs a magazine much like Playboy. The Calendar Girls of the title are actually centerfold models, but don’t get too excited as this is a made for TV flick. After one of the models, Miss January, is pushed off a balcony during a big party for the magazine, Lieutenant Dan Stoner (Tom Skerritt) is called in on the case. As he begins to investigate, his list of suspects grows with each person he meets. From the sleazy photographer (Alan Thick) to Trainor himself, the world of pornography seems rife with folks who might get their kicks offing nude models. Stoner eventually is drawn to former model turned stock broker Cassie (Sharon Stone), and the married officer skirts the edge of a dalliance as he searches for the killer before Cassie becomes the next victim.

Long time fans of The LBL will know I have something of an affinity for TV movies from the 70s and 80s. Even working within the limitations of what could be done on TV, there are many classic flicks like Savages or Pray for the Wildcats that succeed in being strong enough to stack up against theatrically released films. Unfortunately, while Calendar Girl Murders has a couple of decent death scenes, what the film needed to really work was more violence and nudity. What it really needed though was to be made ten years earlier in Italy as a giallo. There are many elements that just needed that nudge into Sleazetown to really work. Unfortunately, TV wouldn’t allow for any of that. Director William A. Graham was something of a TV journeyman starting his career in 1956, and over the years he directed many memorable television movies including Then Came Bronson, The Last Ninja, and Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones. Technically, Calendar Girl Murders is a well made film with good pacing and a story that does leave the viewer guessing, but the potential for it to have been trashier kind of left me wanting more.

What did keep me locked into the movie are the performances of the two main stars, Skerritt and Stone. Skerritt, who would later become very well known for his TV show Picket Fences, makes for a good cop, and he gives a very human performance as a man tempted by a luscious young model but staying true to his wife still. I rather liked it that Skerritt’s Stoner did not fall into the arms of the model who he was trying to protect, and the fact the movie avoids that pitfall is one of the saving graces. For Stone, this was only her sixth movie role, and she was years from becoming infamous for crossing and uncrossing her legs. However, the charisma and beauty that made her a star is on full display. Well, not on full display, but you know what I mean. Stone and Skerritt really locked the movie down as the background characters faded in and out of importance almost on a whim.

That being said, there are still a few supporting players I would like to mention. While IMDB gives to credit for him, the film got a big boost in my eyes by containing a cameo appearance from Gong Show panelist and confetti affectionado Rip Taylor. If every movie contained a bit more Rip, the world would be a better place. Robert Culp, best known for the I Spy series with Bill Cosby, hams it up as the Hefner-esque pornographer, and he suavely rocked a number of velour tracksuits (I suppose PJ’s were too dead on.) Alan Thick, who would be back in 2 and 2 on Love Connection, doesn't get a whole ton of screen time as the photographer, but when he does, it surprised me how sleazy he could seem. Then I realized that he went on to have a job where he set people up on dates with weirdos they saw in short videos, and it all made sense. A far cry from his role as Bertram Cooper on Mad Men, Robert Morse also turns up the creep factor as a suspected stalker, and years before he get stuck in outer space on Star Trek: Voyager, Robert Belton, who played Chakotay on that series, shows up here in a small role as Skerritt’s partner.

They say in show business that you always leave them wanting more, and in this case, that is exactly what I wanted. Not more of the same, but a broader, sleazier movie that aped up the violence, red herrings, and sex. Even with the same cast, in the hands of someone like Sergio Martino, Calendar Girl Murders could have been a solid late entry into the giallo genre. However, even as a TV film, it feels like it comes up short in some way. The entire movie was entertaining, and the ending made sense and didn’t disappoint. However, it did not being back fond memories of that bathing suit calendar from many years ago. Wonder if I still have that around here somewhere? Maybe I have it ’stached somewhere here in the Lair, pun intended. Well, until I see you folks again, I have some hunting to do. It seems like there was this blonde…

Bugg Rating

As this is a TV flick, there is no trailer, but you can check it out in parts (in Spanish) on YouTube or Netflix subscribers can watch it streaming there.

Sharky’s Machine (1981) This Machine Grows ‘Staches

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 21:31:00 +0000

If Hollywood lore is to be believed, and who am I to dispute it, when Clint Eastwood made Every Which Way But Loose, his buddy Burt Reynolds thought that Clint was stepping on his toes. Comedy, after all, was Burt’s bread and butter with a pair of Smokey and the Bandit films, The Cannonball Run, and Hooper already in the can. Burt told Clint that if Every Which Way was a hit that he’d try and one up Eastwood with his own “Dirty Harry” type character. Every Which Way was a success, and it lead Clint to do a sequel, Any Which Way You Can, before Burt could get his hard boiled cop going. In 1981, Burt finally brought his vision to life. Setting his cop tale, Sharky’s Machine, in Atlanta, Ga., near his real hometown of Waycross, Reynolds crafted a tale that was part “Dirty Harry”, but it’s hard to think that Eastwood’s character would ever be as introspective or sensitive as Burt’s Tom Sharky. So come with me to the land of many Peachtree Streets, where Southern charm meets up with big city sleaze, where one cop can make a difference, that is, if he has the right machine.

Tom Sharky is a good cop. In fact, he’s the best, but when a narcotics bust goes haywire resulting in the death of a civilian, Sharky gets busted down to the lowest of the low, the vice squad. It just so happens that you can’t keep a good cop down even if you try and bury him. Sharky soon gets his machine, as his new boss Friscoe (Charles Durning) refers to Tom’s team of investigators, running, and they uncover a high class prostitution ring headed by a mysterious figure named Victor (Vittorio Gassman). Staking out one of the girls, Dominoe (Rachel Ward), Sharky soon discovers that she is trying to get out of the life, and he discovers feelings for the woman that he is spying on. Victor promises to let her go, but when Sharky witnesses an assassin (Henry Silva) blow her head off, the cop vows to bring the pimp down. The action races to a violent and hard boiled climax as Sharky dismantles the whoremonger’s operation one bullet at a time.

Sharky’s Machine was Burt’s third directorial effort after the action-comedy Gator and the black comedy The End, and it’s a shame that after Sharky’s and 1985’s Stick Reynolds didn't direct a film for fifteen years after that and not once since. While he had tried to make a film that was “Dirty Harry in Atlanta”, what came out was a more sophisticated and sensitive portrait of a cop than Harry Callahan ever faced. Eastwood came to be a star in the 50s and 60s, and his films, both directorial and acting, have reflected the hard nose edge of an earlier era. On the other hand, Burt really came to fame in the 1970s, and his films reflected that time. I can’t imagine Dirty Harry looking wistfully out the window at a hooker with a heart of gold and falling in love with her, but Burt, like so many 70s fellows, was the sensitive sort. So buried between car chases, fist fights, and Henry Silva blowing peoples heads off with a shotgun. Sharky becomes a very real, human character. There’s also a fair amount of humor still entrenched in Reynolds’ work no matter how seriously he was taking the project. Combined, it doesn't make for a film better than Dirty Harry, but I would put it up against Magnum Force, The Dead Pool, and The Enforcer any day. I'd also like to mention that any movie that uses the song "Street Life" is OK by me. (See also Jackie Brown.)

Since it’s Movemeber, I really can’t go much further without talking specifically about Burt. I've always loved him, and I suppose my first exposure to him was in The Cannonball Run, one of my favorite movies of all time, or in Stroker Ace, a film that HBO could not play enough for my tastes as a child. Since then, I’ve seen almost everything he’s done from his Deliverance break though to his pre-’stache film with Sam Fuller, Shark, and all the way up to his comeback films, Striptease and Boogie Nights. I always enjoy Burt, and Sharky’s Machine is no exception. While the sensitive side of his performance might go a bit beyond where other actors would have taken it, Reynolds has the chops to make it feel even keeled. I won’t go so far as to say this is his finest film role, but it is right up there with the best. I don’t even recall a Burt cackle that Norm McDonald could impersonate in Sharky’s. Reynolds reins it in where he needs to, lets it go when he feels it, and still delivers a hell of a right hook.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that he has a bang up supporting cast in Sharky‘s Machine. While Vittorio Gassman didn't really add that much menace as the crime boss Victor, Henry Silva ate up the screen as the silent assassin armed with a not so silent sawed off shotgun. In one of the film’s best and most bizarre moments, Silva’s character screams into the face of Sharky’s pal Arch, Bernie Casey, perhaps because he’s out of bullets or possibly because Silva was having fun screaming. Casey and Brian Keith both support the action well as the two other vice cops siding with Sharky, and you can’t beat Charles Durning as the Vice leader Lt. Frisco. Durning looking young (well, younger) and trim (well, trimmer) takes his squad leader into a silly, almost comic relief kind of route as his officers ride roughshod over him, and he was a joy to see on the screen. I think that’s what impressed me most about the film was the number of really solid minor performances Reynolds got from his cast. Even small, essentially thankless roles (see I’m proving it by not thanking them by name) were obviously guided to create a specific tone and continuity throughout the film.

The one thought I had after watching Sharky’s Machine was, if Clint made a sequel to his comedy, then where is my Sharky’s Revenge. That’s what I’m looking for, and if you’re out there Burt and you can hear me, there’s still time. Do it for Dom, who despite not being in this film, would want you to do it… or Cannonball Run IV (And yes, there are three, the third is just unfortunately titled Speed Zone). I could sit here all day and list cop films that are better or more respected in the hallowed halls of cinema, but that wouldn’t make me like Sharky’s Machine any less. Certainly, there are better films, but there are not many that are more fun to watch. The only sticking point is the long stakeout scene in the middle of the film which gets ponderously long, but even that sequence is kept alive by clever dialog and a hell of a finish. If you’re a Burt fan like me, then Sharky’s Machine is a film that you must, must see. If you’re on the fence about Burt, then this might pull you over to his side, but if you don’t like him or his movies, this isn't going to do it. For me Reynolds will always be one of the last generation of classic film tough guys, but he knew how to do it with a wink in his eye and a hell of a mustache sitting on his lip.

P.S. The Mark Walberg remake that seems to be maybe happening. No, just no. Take your Funk Bunch and leave Sharky's Machine alone.

Bugg Rating

The Legacy (1978) Sam Elliott’s Supernatural ‘Stache

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 04:59:00 +0000

When I was picking out a Sam Elliot movie for Movemeber, I wanted to stay away from a lot of the obvious choices. So that meant that The Big Lebowski and Road House were stricken directly from consideration. I then looked to his Westerns where his mustache is always large and in charge, and despite having found one that stars Elliott with the mustachioed Tom Selleck called The Shadow Riders, it still wasn't really what I was looking for. I wanted something that I would enjoy watching and my wife would as well. For, if there is one thing I know for sure, it is that, should I shuffle off this mortal coil, there is a fair to middling chance that my wife might then take up stalking Sam Elliott in her spare time. Last night she said, and I quote, “Sam Elliot is the hottest brunette of all time.” This both spared my feelings (as she still considers my ever darkening hair to be blonde) and sent shock waves through the likes of Josh Brolin and Clive Owen who both thought they would be up for top honors. The film I eventually landed on was an obscurity from 1978 called The Legacy, and it was described to me as an “erotically charged thriller”. With the idea of erotic Sam Elliott in her head, my wife and I sat down to The Legacy last night, and at least one of us walked away happy (there was a shower scene after all.)

Margaret Walsh and Pete Danner (Katherine Ross and Sam Elliott) is a couple involved in architecture and interior design. At least, I think they are as it was never quite clear or important to the plot. Katherine is lured to England with the promise of a lucrative job, and Pete tags along transporting Margaret on the back of his Triumph motorcycle. When they run off the road and total the bike, they are rescued by English gentleman Jason Mountolive (John Standing) and taken back to his palatial estate. The couple soon finds that other guests have begun to arrive such as swimmer Maria (Marianne Broome), a German munitions supplier (Charles Grey), Clive Jackson (Roger Daltrey), a rock star and producer, hotelier Jacques (Lee Montague), and the lustful Barbara (Hildegard Neil). Margaret is lured to Mountolive’s bedroom where he places a strange ring on her finger which she cannot remove. She has been drawn into an ancient ritual where Satanic powers will be passes down to one of the attendees of Mountolive’s death, and try as they might, Margaret and Pete can find no way to escape.

The Legacy is the type of slow burn 70s horror film that I really enjoy. I could see putting this on a triple bill with Burnt Offerings and The Sentinel, two of my favorite 70s gems which have a similar tone and pacing. While The Legacy was billed to me as an “erotic thriller”, there’s very little erotic here (though my wife did make me run back Sam Elliott’s butt shot and shower scene a couple of times) and I would scarcely call the action thrilling or suspenseful. It does lock in with many of the satanically/supernaturally themed titles of the time, but its plot is ingenious and doesn't fill derivative of anything directly. The original story (and co-writing of the screenplay) comes from Jimmy Stangster. If the name doesn't ring a bell, it should. Working for many years with Hammer films, Sangster penned some of their best and most beloved titles including Horror of Dracula, The Mummy, and The Brides of Dracula. That might be the reason that The Legacy felt very much like a Hammer film. Deliberately paced, supernatural in a very British kind of way, and filled with gothic situations and locations, The Legacy is the very staid model of U.K. based horror.

Katherine Ross, best known for her role as Elaine Robinson in The Graduate, is supposed to be the star here, but her role is basically whittled down to walking about looking forlorn. Which leaves the movie at Sam Elliott’s feet to own, and own it, he does. Under a thick, bristly brown mustache he glowers around the English manner and countryside in such a way it makes you think that he doesn't know the Revolution ended. By 1978, Elliott was 10 years into screen roles with a litany of film and TV credits to his name, so he certainly had the cops to match wits with British stalwarts like Charles Grey (best recognized as the narrator of The Rocky Horror Picture Show) and Lee Montague. He also had the sex appeal to almost bring erotic into the film by his presence alone, and judging from the tightness of his pants, the number of times he gets wet, and the general time spent on his character, I don’t think Elliott’s appeal was lost on the film makers. In fact, for my money, there’s little other sexy on display as Ross, Marianne Broome, and the other ladies all have a very particular waifish 70s vibe which did absolutely nothing for me. Also doing nothing for me was Roger Daltery. The lead singer of The Who has nabbed several film roles, but I enjoy his acting as well as his singing. Which is to say, not at all.

The Legacy is the start of a film legacy from British director Richard Marquand who would end up directing both one of the biggest and well known films of all time as well as one of the classic unsung cult gems. His name is probably very familiar to fans of Star Wars as he was tapped to direct the third installment in the series, Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, but what people don’t know is that his last film starred a Jedi, a lyrical one, in the form of Bob Dylan and his amazingly trashy bit of pop film fare Hearts of Fire. While only having seven feature film credits to his name, Marquand has made quite an impact on the film industry and the cult film world with his small output. The Legacy is another great reason to remember Marquand as a director. The film has a definite tone and style to it, and working with cinematographer Alan Hume (Return of the Jedi, Octopussy, Carry On Screaming) The Legacy had a look that matched the tone and style of the Hammer-ish activities.

While The Legacy could go on a triple bill with those other 70s spook shows I mentioned earlier, it doesn't quite have the same quality and eeriness as the other two. It would definitely be the first of the three I would show (with Burn Offerings in the middle and The Sentinel closing it out if you wondered.) Not to give any spoilers, but the ending of The Legacy is one that could have only existed in the wild world of 70s cinema. The Legacy both left me slightly confused and with a smile on my face as the credits ended. Speaking of credits, I have to mention that the opening theme is sung by none other than Kiki Dee, a singer I have never heard a single note from apart from her hit with Elton John, “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart”, which was number one when I was born. Sadly, it is not reprised in the ending credits. Now if you’ll excuse me, to make sure that I’m still attractive in my later life to my significant other, I have to really focus on my mustache growing skills. Sam Elliott’s shadow is bad enough to be in, but the shadow of his mustache now that is a big, big shadow.

Bugg Rating

The Beverly Hills Cops: Three Directors, One ‘Stache.

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 21:24:00 +0000

Bo bo boo bobo bo bo, boo bo bo boo bobo bo bo, boo boo boo bobo bo boo boo. If you don’t recognize the tune that I just wrote down then a) you’re prose tone deaf, b) you weren't around in the 80s when it reached #3 on The Billboard Hot 100, c) you have no capacity for joy and happiness in your life, or d) any combination of the above. Well, for those out there that don’t know it, that’s “Axel F.”, the main theme from Beverly Hills Cop, today’s Movember film selection featuring the mustachioed Eddie Murphy at the height of his powers. Joining the cast of Saturday Night Live in 1980, the stand up comedian soon parlayed his success there into a film career making 48 Hours in 1982. When his co-star Nick Nolte proved too sick to host SNL as promotion for the film, Eddie became the first regular cast member to also host the show. His next film was Trading Places with SNL alum Dan Ackroyd, and this pair of hits catapulted Murphy into leading role territory. The result was a string of hits, including The Golden Child and Coming to America, that all began with one Detroit cop taking a trip to Beverly Hills. From there, a franchise and a superstar were born of the 80’s, but in the matter of a decade, Murphy and his character Axel Foley were struggling for survival. Today, I’m going to talk about all three films in the Beverly Hills Cop trilogy, each by a different director, but with one tune, one laugh, and one ’stache that holds them together.

Kicking off to the strains of Glen Frey’s “The Heat Is On”, Beverly Hills Cop gets right into the action as Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy), a loose cannon Detroit cop, hangs off the back of a semi truck when a black market cigarette ring bust goes wrong. From Frey’s “Heat” the soundtrack slides right into The Pointer Sisters’ “Neutron Dance”, and if there was any idea that Murphy’s first solo film was not a time capsule of the era, they are quickly dispelled. Next comes the traditional dressing down from his captain, and then he’s joined by his scallywag childhood friend Michael Tandino (James Russo), an ex-con who is killed in front of Alex before the first evening of their reunion is even complete. The trail of clues leads to a job Michael said he had gotten in Beverly Hills working for a big art dealer named Victor Maitland (Stephen Berkoff), but Alex can’t get on the case. So he takes vacation and goes to Beverly Hills to investigate on his own. Running afoul of the local cops, Alex must convince reluctant detectives Rosewood and Taggert (Judge Reinhold and John Ashton) to help him to bring down Maitland’s smuggling ring. It should also be noted that, in one of my favorite kind of movie moments, Eddie introduced Judge's character as a, "Beverly Hills Cop". When they can say the name of the movie in the movie, and it's still good. Then you know you've really got something.

If film lore is to be believed everyone from Mickey Rourke and James Caan to Sylvester Stallone could have been the Beverly Hills Cop. Sly, who reportedly left two weeks before filming due to a difference over the brand of orange juice to be used in the trailer, mined the script for his film to make another classic flick, Cobra. When the role landed with Eddie Murphy at the last minute, hasty rewrites meant actors were learning lines directly before scenes, and it could have been a disaster. Instead, thanks to the improvisational skills of Murphy, Reinhold, and Aston, it became one of the classic comedies of all time. Watching it now, having seen it probably a dozen or more times over the years, it still seems as fresh as ever. Even the conceits they made up for the film, like the cars being tracked by a GPS system, are things that have come true by now, and it helps make the film feel less dated. Beverly Hills Cop would have been a completely different and much less interesting film, in the hands of a traditional action star as was originally slated.

Director Martin Brest flipped a coin to decide if he was going to direct Beverly Hills Cop, and it has to be one of the best coin tosses in history. If he also decided in the same way to make his 2003 film Gigli, maybe he should not have pressed his luck. Before BHC, Breast had directed Going in Style, with Art Carney and George Burns, a wonderful mix of action, caper hijinx, and comedy, and he was well suited for the Alex Foley’s first adventure. The script was in such shambles many scenes are improvised, and Brest proved up to the job of catching Murphy, as well as the rest of the cast, at the top of their game. With a gross of $234.7 million domestically, beating out Ghostbusters for the top of the box office in ’84, Murphy and Breast were catapulted into another echelon of their professions. Breast would follow up BHC with Midnight Run, another success, before directing Scent of a Woman (one of the world’s most overly praised movies), the boated remake of Death Takes a Holiday, Meet Joe Black, and the aforementioned career killer Gigli. With only a seven film filmography, Breast managed to make one of the best examples of action-comedy ever put to celluloid and one of the most infamously reviled movies of all time. That, my friends, is a stunt that even Axel Foley couldn't pull off.

Murphy next made The Golden Child, which took in a third of Beverly Hills Cop’s revenue. So a return to Axel Foley became inevitable. Beverly Hills Cop II finds an Axel Foley still pulling stunts while on the trail of a credit card fraud ring. When Captain Bogomil (Ronny Cox reprising his role from the first film), is gunned down, Axel tells his superiors he was going deep undercover and heads to the Hills again. Teaming up with Rosewood and Taggert again, who have been taken off the case, the trio goes on the hunt for “The Alphabet Killer”. That whole story line is quickly relegated to the back burner as Foley begins to connect the Captains murder to an embezzlement and firearms ring. The bad guys this time Maxwell Dent (Jurgan Prochnow), his henchwoman Karly Fry (Brigitte Nielsen) and patsy Charles Cain (Dean Stockwell) prove to be a more deceptive and lethal force than art dealer Victor Maitlan, and it gives the film a harder edge than the first. In the film’s climax, the action descends into the type of explosive warehouse showdown that is example two in the Standard Action Film Playbook.

The second Cop film follows the law of diminishing returns. While Murphy was still funny, it was evident that film was not as loose as the first. The action was filmed much sleeker, and director Tony Scott, whose film Top Gun had thoroughly spanked The Golden Child in the 1986 box office, certainly excels in this area more than in the comedy area. There was plenty of shooting and killing, but the laughs seem more canned. So as an action film it excels at points, but mostly by mining traditional action movie tropes, and as a comedy, it doesn't provide as much entertainment. What you do get is more Paul Riser as Foley’s Detroit partner (because what everyone needs is more Paul Riser), several more rounds of “Alex F”, and a movie that just didn't quite repeat the success of the original. Beverly Hills Cop II came in nearly $100 million under the take of the first film, and while it wasn't the runaway hit of the first, it gave Murphy enough clout to make several more films.

The problem was the choice of those films. Starting strong with Coming to America, Murphy appeared in the middling period comedy Harlem Nights with Richard Pryor, and the belated sequel Another 48 Hours before hitting a real downturn with Boomerang and The Distinguished Gentlemen. So in 1994, Murphy came back to the character of Axel Foley, and he brought with him John Landis, a director with which he had made one of Murphy’s best films, Trading Places. This time Axel Foley’s commander, Douglas Todd (Gil Hill, completing a BHC hat trick) is killed, and the mystery leads to, you guessed it, Beverly Hills. That’s where they have giant theme parks, of course, and the clues lead Alex to Wonder World, a Disney-esque Vacation destination. One of the original concepts for the film was “Die Hard in an Amusement Park”, and a watered down version of that is what we get on the screen. The film still tries to provide action, but apart from a daring rescue on an Amusement park ride, there’s little here that isn't predictable and standard.

Even worse, Beverly Hills Cop III walks so close to comedy line of things that it becomes a farce of itself. Really? A George Lucas cameo? Bronson Pinchot is back as Serge and he’s an arms dealer selling a giant gun which also houses a microwave and a boom box? Really? Rosewood is the head of a task force with too long of an acronym? All in all it’s just a frustrating mess that is trying too hard. Earlier drafts of the script called for Foley, Rosewood, and Taggert to travel to London for an adventure which would possibly team them with a Scotland Yard Inspector. While that plot line also sounds like jumping the shark, the idea that Sean Connery’s name was bandied around in connection is enough for me to wish it had happened. Murphy clearly brought Landis in to try and have two shots at reclaiming success, the character and the man in the big chair. In the end, both failed. Axel Foley is a complete cartoon character this time around, and in a symbolic moment at film’s end, Wonder World adds a new character, Axel Fox. Beverly Hills Cop III marked another flop for Murphy bringing in only $42 million coming in 14th for the year.

After Beverly Hills Cop III’s failure, and that of his next picture, Wes Craven’s Vampire in Brooklyn, Murphy turned to kiddie fare with The Nutty Professor, Mulan, and Doctor Doolittle. His stabs at reclaiming an adult audience, Metro, Showtime, I Spy, and so forth, have for the most part fallen on deaf ears. While BHC III is not a perfect film, it’s almost the last moment that the Eddie Murphy that appeared on SNL disappeared into the Disney-fied, Shreck-tastic Eddie we know today. In 2013, Beverly Hills Cop is slated to return, with Eddie, marginally at least. After rejecting dozens of scripts for films, including heavy overtones from Bret Ratner, Murphy is spinning the franchise into a TV property positing himself as the head of the department and Axel’s son Aaron being the star of the show. It sounds bad, and it doesn't at all look like Brandon T. Jackson’s Aaron will be showing off a mustache for all seasons.

The law of diminishing returns is the story of the Beverly Hills Cop trilogy and Eddie Murphy. The further away both of them got from their source, the more they were diluted. By a Detroit mile, or even eight of them, Beverly Hills Cop is the best of the three films, but each of them have their charm, mostly thanks to the performances of Murphy, Reinhold, and John Aston (who only appears in the first two). Beverly Hills Cop is a classic of the action-comedy genre, and while the sequels pale in comparison, they are still solid examples of popcorn movie fare before “blockbuster” titles became the name of the game. There’s very little hoping that either Hollywood or Eddie Murphy will see the error of their ways, but if they care to, they need only to look back to Beverly Hills Cop as an example. One word of warning before I sign off, if you, like me, decide to watch all three of these films in a 24 hour period, don’t be surprised if, when you slip off to dreamland, you find yourself in a world of guffawing laughter, sleek black moustaches, and one song repeating endlessly over and over. Bo bo boo bobo bo bo, boo bo bo boo bobo bo bo, boo boo boo bobo bo boo boo.

Bugg Rating

Beverly Hills Cop

Beverly Hills Cop II

Beverly Hills Cop III

Enter the Ninja (1981) Enter the Moustache

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:46:00 +0000

When you think about ninjas there are a few things that come to mind, black outfits, stealth, throwing stars, and swords just to name a few. Our hero today is a ninja apart from other ninjas. Other than wearing a white ninja suit, he also comes equipped with something that I've never thought to be standard issue ninja gear, a giant, bristly, blond moustache. Of course, I'm talking about Franco Nero in the 1981 cult classic Enter the Ninja because when you think of ninjas, you also think of Italian film stars. This film has long been a favorite of mine, and I recall watching it on Showtime over and over again when I was a lad. Cornball in portions, over the top all around, and decidedly off the wall, if it had been made after the bevy of pseudo-sequels and imitators that followed it, then it would be easy to believe that it was parodying those same films. Enter the Ninja may have been a childhood delight, but I worried if it would hold up to adult eyes. So read on to find out if this flick is as mighty as Nero’s ‘stache promises or if it’s as plain as the area under Sho Kosugi’s nose.

After a 10 minute long opening sequence which turns out to be a final exam at ninja school, Cole (Nero) has finally passed his last test and officially had become the white suited ninja, like Storm Shadow by way of 70’s porno. All his red ninja suited pals are ecstatic for him, but stick in the mud black suit ninja Hasegawa (Kosugi), is firm in his belief that Cole will never be a true ninja. After graduation, Cole travels to see his pal Frank (Alex Courtney), who looks like someone sucked all the life out of James Caan, and his wife Mary Ann (Susan George), who looks really hot. Frank and Mary Ann’s tropical plantation is being threatened by The Hook (Zachi Noy), the weasely, little fat henchman of Mr. Venarious (Christopher George). Cole, naturally, cannot let this aggression stand, and he takes the fight to the bad guys by repeatedly beating their asses while rocking a white leisure suit. Inevitably, Frank is killed and Mary Ann is kidnapped, Venarious makes a final stand backed by his own ninja, you guessed it, party pooper Hasegawa who Cole must square off with in the film’s climax.

After the first ten martial arts-tastic minutes finish and the plot begins to unroll, it is easy to determine every beat of the story without much thought. Luckily, Enter the ninja is so wacky and over the top that it really doesn't matter if you know what’s coming next plot wise because there’s no telling what else might happen along the way. I mean seriously, the henchman is a little fat dude who looks like Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre, and Captain Hook had a baby, a bad guy gets his ass kicked and runs off to the ‘waaa-waaa-waaaaaaa” sound of a trumpet, and, to top it all off, Franco Nero is a freakin’ ninja. I have to admit that’s the hardest thing to get your mind around in this film. While Franco comes off like a real tough mother, as he always does in his Italian action titles, I had a hard time thinking the flying round kicks were coming from him. Naturally, they were not. Nero was doubled by Mike Stone, Black Belt Hall of Fame inductee and writer of Enter the Ninja’s story (adapted by one time screen scribe Dick Desmond for the film). Stone, who also did stunts for the cult classic Circle of Iron, seemingly wanted to invoke visions of Enter the Dragon using a title like Enter the Ninja, but instead created a series of zany moments, strange characters, and overwrought drama.

I can’t wait another minute without talking about the many Georges of this film, Susan and Christopher, no relation, though Chris is Vanna White’s uncle. Susan is probably best known from her role in Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs, her racy turn in Mandingo, or her racing turn in Dirty Mary Crazy Larry, and here she provides a good match for Nero. Strong willed from her introduction, Many Ann might be married to the middle point between James Caan and Luigi Pistilli, but she’s not afraid to fight back and, in a sadly PG rated cutaway, beds the mustachioed ninja. Alex Courtney’s Frank, let's call him James Can't, suspects they've been doing the horizontal katas, and in my favorite moment of the movie exclaims at his wife, “What have I got to do? Grow a moustache?” The answer to that, however unspoken, had to have been yes.

One person who didn’t need a moustache to be delightful is Christopher George. Not only does he have the absolute best expression in his death scene that has ever been put on film. George got his start on the TV show Rat Patrol before moving on to co-starring with John Wayne in Chisum, go up against a giant bear in Grizzly, and the forces of hell in Fulci's City of the Living Dead. Combine those credits with Enter the Ninja, and in just those few roles, he had a one of a kind career. He puts on a real show throughout and, apart from Nero, was the most entertaining character in the film, narrowly edging out Will Hare's local huckster Dollars and George's own sidekick, the polite Mr. Parker played by Constantine Gregory. No matter if Mr. George was choreographing ladies in a pool for his human mobile or standing in the open calling out, “Ninjaaaaaa. Ninjaaaaa. Come out, ninjaaaaaa.”, he took the already broadly written role into the broadest and most entertaining of strokes.

I wish I had more to say about actual martial arts legend Sho Kosugi in Enter the Ninja, but there’s not much to say about him. His few scenes are entertaining, but he belongs to the beginning and end of the film while the middle leverages Christopher George as the baddie. The segments with he faces Nero, or should I say Mike Stone, are the most fluid and effective as far as the choreography goes. Many of the other fights come off so jobbed that they look and feel too staged. Menahem Golan is a great producer with an incredible track record, but as a director, he’s been more miss than hit. However, for one reason or another, several of his films are essential pieces of cult cinema. Enter the Ninja forms a better trilogy, not with its own sequels, but Golan’s later films The Delta Force and Over the Top. The Enter Delta Over trilogy constantly ramps up the far out factor as we go from Franco Nero ninja to Norris and Marvin leading a cast of epic genre proportions only to end up with Stallone arm wrestling while tangling with Robert Loggia over the love of a kid. If that’s not a trilogy, then I don't know what is.

I don't think it’s spoiling anything to say that at the end of Enter the Ninja, the ‘stache reigns supreme. Never mind the fact that Sho Kosugi was back in the sequels while Nero was not, from the first moment of the film, this was never the kind of flick where the brush lipped hero was going to lose. It is, however, the kind of campy fun that is perfect for personal viewing or watching with friends. (There is a wee bit too much cockfighting for my tastes, which is no cockfighting, and that does always put a damper on EtN's fun times.) It has a kind of looseness to it that makes the whole thing fun to watch. That’s why I wanted to kick off this Movember with Enter the Ninja because I’m looking to have a whole lot of fun watching hairy lipped legends emote all this month. Before I sign off for the day, I will remind you that the LBL is collecting donations for Movember which will go to help research and awareness of men’s health issues, especially prostate and testicular cancers. So, if you can pitch in a buck or two or even just spread the word, it would be most appreciated. I'll be back every other day this month with another ‘stache-tastic review, and until then savor the flavor of Enter the Ninja!

Bugg Rating

What is Movemeber and Why Is There a Bugg In It?

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 16:06:00 +0000

Halloween is finally behind us, resting in its October grave for another 365 days, and with it, the Bigger and Badder monsters and all the assorted horrors of the spookiest of months fall into the LBL Vaults. Now we come to a month that means many things to many people. Fall is completely in swing and the leaves begin to fall. Thanksgiving is hanging around in just a couple of weeks, and that means that Christmas isn't too awfully far behind. November also brings in another important event, one I will be taking part in this year. Sometimes called No Shave November, the event known as Movember was originally founded by Australians in 2003. There were only 30 of them that participated then, growing out their moustaches, or Mo's in the Aussie parlance, and collecting funds from their friends to donate to Prostate and Testicular Cancer research and initiatives. In 2011, that number had grown to 854,000, and it had also spawned a number of spin off groups in other countries with a similar purpose. Here's a little blurb from Movember to tell you a little more specifically what the event is about

During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces, in the US and around the world. With their Mo's, these men raise vital awareness and funds for men's health issues, specifically prostate and testicular cancer initiatives. Once registered at www.movember.com, men start Movember 1st clean shaven. For the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men, known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.

So what does all this mean for the LBL this month? It means very simply that I will be both participating in the Movember event myself and joining in here at the Lair. While I am clean shaven today, the banner up top has sprouted quite a 'stache overnight, and throughout the month I will be turning the reviews toward all the best moustaches ever on film. So expect to see some Burt, some Sam, some Charlie, some William, maybe a dose of Franco, and many, many more of the mustachioed men of cinema. All I ask is that if you like what I am doing, please throw a few dollars in the donation jar which you can find by clicking on the "'Stache is King'" button at the top right. I've set a goal of $200.00 by the month's end, and I know you loyal Lair-ers will do your part. Every dollar, half dollar, quarter dollar, etc. all helps.

I'll kick things off tomorrow with a review of a tough, mustache sporting fellow, but the real tough fellows out there are the ones who are fighting men's health issues like testicular and prostate cancers. While I have never known anyone personally with these issues, I have suffered from some health issues of my own in the last year. This gave me pause to think about the fact that I am getting older, and my health, and the health of all my pals, should be a concern. Hopefully, by raising awareness and donations for research, none of my friends or readers is every touched by these kind of issues. So while I do my small part, on my face as well as here at The LBL, I hope some of you will join me. Even if you can't donate, please, help me spread the word across the web by reposting this to your blog or social network. Thank you all for your time, and the next time you see me, I'll be helping make flavor savors into life savers.

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13:#1- Gojira (1954)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Here we are, finally. It’s Halloween night, and after 31 posts in 31 days capped off with The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13, we've finally arrived at the end of the month and the countdown. While all the little kiddies are out trick and/or treating and ghouls, ghosts, and goblins come out to play, why not kick back for a while at The LBL with me and let’s get our giant monster obsession rockin’ one last time. Yesterday, I practically fell all over myself giving King Kong accolades for starting the popularity of the giant monster, but while the giant ape made some splash in 1933, it was during its 1952 release that it really caused major waves. One of those waves ended up lapping the shores of Japan, a country still reeling in the post-WWII era as they tried to find closure, purpose, and direction for their country. No other place in the world has known the true horrors and devastation of a directed, intentional nuclear blast save for Japan. So is it any wonder that the same year American filmmakers released their first nuclear powered monster movie with The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, that the Japanese did them one better and created a monster that was a walking nuclear incident with Gojira (and I don't mean Godzilla, King of the Monsters, but more on that later.) It is Halloween, and a discussion of Gojira could get pretty heavy, pretty quick, but I’m going to try to keep it on the lighter side. After all of these films in The B&B H13 about fear, of nature, of man, of nukes and science, Gojira is a film that certainly touches on a number of fears, but it is really a story of hope.

Before I even get into any of the events of the film, let me make one thing perfectly clear, this is no exaltation of the Raymond Burr, over narrated, mashed up, nonsensical mess that was released in the United States as 1956’s Godzilla, King of the Monsters. While I have a certain fondness for that film from my youth, after seeing the Japanese version a few years back I realized what a poor substitute Godzilla was for Gojira. Gone from the American version is any of the family and romantic storylines, any mention of American nuclear testing (or, you know, bomb dropping), and instead of the Japanese people working to fight the monster, you get numerous breaks where Burr asks a translator, “What are they saying?” It’s the worst kind of pastiche. Stripping away the Japanese characters and tone to the film robs it of the intentions of director Ishiro Honda and his co-writer Takeo Murata. There’s also another thing about it. It’s pretty dang awful. Having recently acquired the Criterion Collection edition of Gojira/Godzilla, my original intention, based off fond childhood memories, was to talk about my love for both films. When I re-watched it after viewing the Japanese version again, it just looked pathetic. Gojira is a work of art. Godzilla is little more than pabulum for kid’s matinee screenings.

Now that I’ve sounded as pretentious as possible, let me talk a little about the story of Gojira. I think we can all agree on the basic premise that the monster was released because of a nuclear experiment, and the first scene of the monster’s destructive power at sea is a corollary for an incident that happened during American nuclear tests on the Bikini Atoll. Where the film takes a turn from the version where Raymond Burr trying not to look like he just killed his wife, wait, that was Rear Window, is with the romantic storyline. Emiko is torn between the one eyed scientist Serizawa and Ogata, a captain of a small ship, and she alone knows the secret of Serizawa’s devastating weapon which could mean an end to the giant terror. While there is a good deal of talk about the government trying this and that to deter the creature and debates on the morality of killing it at all, Gojira hinges on a classic love triangle in the midst of a nuclear war with legs. Then, add in the viciousness of the secret weapon, with the power to destroy all oxygen in a living being’s body, and the idea that the only weapon against the ultimate weapon is an even more unreasonably powered weapon is born. Say hello to the military industrial complex, folks. So when Serizawa sacrifices himself in the film's climax (Spoiler Alert on a fifty eight year old film), he does it for love, country, and the world to take his own knowledge to the grave.

Gojira is a story about a monster. In fact, in many ways it is the story of The Giant Monster. Along with Kong, they are the archetypes in which all others have followed. However, what makes Gojira a real classic is that, while it brims with meaning about an arms race and nuclear annihilation, it is a story about people. Some of them are on the wrong side of things, and some of them are chasing noble goals. Some fall in love, and some are changed by the destruction that they witness. The overall feeling though is hope. There is a hope that people will band together, make the right decisions, and move forward their lives and country in a meaningful way. Fear is what Halloween and horror is all about, and while some might consider Gojira more of science fiction film, try getting chased by a fourteen story tall monster and we’ll see how horrified you feel. In future years, Gojira would become a hero to the people and fight any number of other giant beasties, but in the original film, he is not yet the star or the King of the Monsters, as the American retitling purports him to be. He is instead a force to be feared, but ultimately he is the spark for a rallying cry for hope and the indomitable spirit.

I could do my usual kind of breakdown and talk about the stars, director, and cinematographer and so on, but how many ways can you say great and perfect. In previous years I have included several ‘5’ Bugg movies on my Halloween Top 13’s, but in the giant monster realm, there are only really two great names Godzilla and Kong. Godzilla became the franchise player though, and throughout the years, through cartoons and comic books and a string of sequels, Godzilla has been the main force in keeping giant monster movies alive. While I really like some of the later films, like Destroy All Monsters and Godzilla: Final Wars, there has never been a film which treated the characters of situations with such precision as Gojira. So do yourself a favor, the next time you're having a hankering for giant lizard in your life, first, listen to Dead Milkmen Big Lizard in My Backyard, and then ditch Perry Mason and check out Godzilla in his O.G form, Gojira . Thus bringing us to a just an honorable conclusion to the Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 and the month of October in general. I had a great time delving into horror and giant monster mayhem with you folks, and I want to send a special shout out to everyone who contributed lists and Mr. Dylan Santurri from Paracinema for his awesome work on the four banners I used for the event. The Halloween Top 13 will return next October for the 6th year running, and I promise that I’ve already got something great in mind.

Bugg Rating

Now before I sign off completely for the month. I have one more list to share with you folks. It’s from my main man Ken Johnson from We Like Stuff Too. Ken is a fellow that I could stay up all night and talk to. I know because I have. He just got this list in in the wee small hours last night beating the Halloween double deadline, but I have to give it up to him for amazing choices and great work. So as a final Halloween treat, Mr. Ken Johnson’s Giant Monsters!

13. THE GIANT CLAW

I’ve never actually seen the film, but a clip was included in the film IT CAME FROM HOLLYWOOD (1982). That flick which simultaneously made fun of and introduced these films to us burgeoning fans was constantly running on HBO back in those days. Tommy Chong’s comment that the Giant Claw “sure has some loose dentures,” had me laughing so hard, that the film’s permanently cemented in my mind.

12. THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Another flick showcased in IT CAME FROM HOLLYWOOD. The scene with the giant grasshopper peeping in the window at the girl wrapped in a towel is priceless. Lead actor Peter Graves’ earnest delivery and tommy gun usage only adds to the fun. Having the whole thing set in Chicago too, was neat since it wasn’t far from where I lived at the time.

11. THE RELIC

This film doesn’t come up in conversations a lot, but it’s a pretty good one. It’s another film that takes place in Chicago, with action centering mostly around the Natural History Museum. Penelope Ann Miller stars, with Tom Sizemore and Linda Hunt supporting. Always had a crush on Ms. Miller, so that got me in the door, but the monster itself was pretty inventive. A mix of a few different animals, the thing moved with a fluid elegance you don’t often see in giant monster films. Well worth seeking out.

10. THE HOST

This is a pretty popular choice by a lot of giant monster fans and rightly so. The film has a lot to offer with well-rounded characters you can’t help but be drawn to. Throw in the strange, asymmetrical genetic mistake of the title and its gold. This creature has one of the best debut scenes ever to be found in the genre.

09. NIGHT OF THE LEPUS

A ludicrous movie sold by the sincerity of the acting (Rory Calhoun in particular), some tense child endangerment and real (and fairly unnerving) newsreel footage. Again it’s the quickness of the creatures, along with the expanding magnitude of the crisis that makes this a standout.

08. EMPIRE OF THE ANTS

What starts off as a character driven Love Boat-like cruise to explore an island real estate property, expands to a horrifying update to the classic short story example of man versus nature, Leiningen Versus the Ants by Carl Stephenson. What really drew me to this film is the complexity of the roles of each character within the group of survivors/victims, how those roles change and evolve and by just how much story there is crammed into a 90 minute feature. Seriously, this thing could’ve ended three times, but just keeps increasing the danger and expanding the plot, to give you what would surely be a trilogy of films, by today’s standards, in one lump 90 minute sum. Sure the effects are pretty goofy, but don’t ya just want to see Joan Collins’ bitchy real estate agent get her just deserts?

07. WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS

Yeah, the film frankly isn’t great, but the Gargantua Boys are awesome! Two enormous sasquatches out for some fun. It’s so much fun seeing these guys running through sets that Godzilla and the like normally plod through. You just know this duo would give Big G and the rest of his radioactive mafia a run for their money, if given half a chance. If only someone could teach them some wrestling moves! Maybe it’s time for a remake?

06. KING KONG (2005)

I’ve always been a fan of the big lug. The first film I remember begging my folks to see at a theater was the De Laurentiis version from 1976 and re-reading the Mad Magazine parody over and over again until the cover came off. Anyway, I’m a fan. That said, I had no idea the plethora of giant creatures and straight up pulpy action in store for me upon plunking down my cash for a ticket to Peter Jackson’s reimagining. This film is teaming with life, and death. Despair, humor and hope. Jackson’s inclusion of a Lovecraftian, Cthulhuesque origin story was just icing on the cake.

05. THEM!

No list of giant monster movies would be complete without this one, and rightly so. There’s not really much I need to add here, other than that I really appreciate the scope of this picture, going from a couple desert attacks (a location where many a giant monster film would be ok staying for their entire running time) to the underground invasion of Los Angeles. For my money, James Whitmore’s character, Police Sgt. Ben Peterson is greatest action hero the genre has ever spawned.

04. GHOST AND THE DARKNESS

This might seem an unusual choice, but if you’ve seen the film, you’ll know just how giant and terrifying the beasts depicted here truly are. Based loosely on the real life story and subsequent book, The Man-Eaters of Tsavo by Lt. Colonel John Henry Patterson, this story of the hunters becoming the hunted gave me more than my fair share of goosebumps. Just the intelligence these creatures displayed, along with their wanton destruction of humanity, then finding out they were real !?! Damn! One of these days I’ll make it to the Field Museum of Natural History in Chicago and see these creatures’ bones for myself.

03. CURSE OF THE DEMON

An all-time favorite horror film, known more for its supernatural angle than for actually being a giant monster picture, this film does feature a giant demon to great effectiveness for the scant few minutes it appears on screen. The climax to this film is particularly unsettling, and something you’ll find imprinted in your mind for some time. The film’s most famous line “It’s in the trees. It’s coming!” was used to open singer/songwriter Kate Bush’s hit song Hounds of Love (1985) and gave me an extra thrill of recognition upon seeing the film for the first time earlier last decade after spending years with Bush’s tune.

02. MIGHTY JOE YOUNG (1949)

What, two gorilla movies in the same list!?! Well, yeah! This guy will always have a special place in my heart. I saw this flick when I was just becoming a teenager. A big, socially awkward kid who was into things (monster movies, comic books, etc.) the “norms” didn’t get. Seeing this film by chance on a random Sunday afternoon on a remote UHF channel where I had to finagle the dial like a safe cracker to get the signal to come in and discovering a kindred spirit in the giant, misunderstood Joe was an eye-opening and moving experience, that’s mesmerized me far longer than its 94 minute running time. Sure I never smashed a nightclub to the ground or terrorized thousands, but I could somehow identify with Joe’s wide, window-like eyes, giant smile and loving soul, doomed to live life in a world that didn’t understand him. I’d like to think that writer/producer Merian Cooper and pioneering effects genius, Ray Harryhausen had gone through similar adjustment troubles in their lives at a similar age and had helped develop the story of Joe to give us like-minded souls something to hold onto.

01. THE CRAWLING EYE aka THE TROLLENBERG TERROR

This B-picture, poked fun at in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, might seem an odd choice to be number one, but for my money, it’s possibly the earliest example of a film based in the subgenre of Lovecraftian horror (a genre of film based around the writings of author H.P. Lovecraft that would eventually spawn such adaptations as RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND and DAGON). The plot, centering on a group of mountain climbers and scientists trapped in a mountain observatory is one of isolation, fear and hopelessness in the wake of an unrelenting alien horror (a common theme in Lovecraft’s writings). At times, this film works as an eerie precursor to more well-known films like ALIEN and John Carpenter’s THE THING with their similar Lovecraftian themes of isolation and despair. It is, however, a creature of its time, full of common B-movie trappings that lead people to dismiss this as a lesser work. Written by future Hammer films wordsmith, Jimmy Sangster, with American actor Forrest Tucker in the lead, this film will wrap its tentacles around you and lay waste to your innermost thoughts, if you let it. Just as action packed as THEM! Just as unrelenting and just as rewarding, if you’re willing to make the climb.

The Rupert Pupkin Speaks Halloween Top 13 Giant Monsters Special!

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 19:48:00 +0000

To get you all geared up for the finale of The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 this evening, I thought I would drop on you the list from the Listmaster General, Rupert Pupkin a.k.a my pal Brian from Rupert Pupkin Speaks. When he's not landing cool interviews for The Gentleman's Guide to Midnite Cinema, hosting awesome list events on his site, and being an all around great dude, he also makes some the best lists of films that I have ever seen. His knowledge and scope of interests in film is unrivaled, and he always has some great and interesting picks. So check out Rupe's list and check back here in a few hours for the final entry on The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13!

Rupert's Favorite Giant Monster Flicks:

Honored to be invited to participate in this series of lists. I took a few liberties here in choosing some favorites to spotlight. Some of them may only feature a big creature in a smaller role. All the films are worth your time though (in varying degrees).

THEM! (1954; Gordon Douglas)

My absolute favorite giant creature movie. In this one, enormous ants attack Los Angeles. The sound these insects make is so creepy and memorable that I have thought of making it a ringtone. I genuinely adore this movie to be sure and it ranks up there with FORBIDDEN PLANET as one of the science fiction films I hold most dear.

THE GIANT CLAW (1957; Fred F. Sears)

When one utters the words "giant turkey monster", this should be the film that comes to mind. Silly but enjoyably so. Joe Dante says much more than I ever could via his Trailers from Hell commentary:

WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS (1968; Ishiro Honda)

My favorite Toho Kaiju film. Seek it out.

JASON & THE ARGONAUTS (1963; Don Chaffey)

Talos The Bronze Giant fucks shit up for Jason and his gang of fellas. Almost as much as those darned skeletons. Great work by Harryhausen here. Perhaps my favorite film he worked on.

FRANKENWEENIE(2012; Tim Burton)

Sure I realize this one is still in theaters as we speak, but I really enjoyed it and would encourage folks to give it a look(in theaters if possible). It's as inspired as I've seen Burton since the days of ED WOOD and prior. I won't give away the giant monster in this film, but it has one and I liked it. All in all though a wonderful, dark little movie.

THE VALLEY OF GWANGI (1969; Jim O'Connolly)

Cowboys, dinosaurs and Harryhausen.

THE BERMUDA DEPTHS (1978; Tsugunobu Kotani)

Remember back when TV movies where not at all concerned with fucking kids up permanently? Damn I miss that time. And you don't hear Carl Weathers talk about this movie all that much. Might be in part because of the ridiculous half-shirt he wears in it. Or that it's about a creepy giant turtle. I don't recall if I saw this during it's original airing, but I will say that the last shots are quite haunting and still stick with me. Also features Stephanie Powers and Burl "Muthafuckin'" Ives.

Honorable Mentions:

DEEP RISING (1998; Stephen Sommers)

TREMORS 2: AFTERSHOCKS (1996; S.S. Wilson)

TENTACLES (1977; Ovidio G. Assonitis)

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 #2: King Kong (1933)/King Kong (1976)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 21:00:00 +0000

For the penultimate entry on The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13, I am including two films in the same slot. Not only because they share a single title, but also because they both share distinct, though differing, views of a classic tale. The two films, as I'm sure you have already noticed are the original King Kong from 1933 and the remake from 1976. What you won't find is any further mention of Peter Jackson’s indulgent, bloated remake from 2005 because it’s a lot of old bleh, and the less said about it the better. On the other hand, the original King Kong is a triumph of screen trickery, acting, filmmaking, and story, and the ’76 remake updates the formula, the drive, and the symbolism of the tale for a modern age. Both films are still entirely as relevant today as when they were made, and I'm sure these two occasions will not be the only times this classic tragedy will be brought to the cinema. So come with me as I roll the screen on two classic monster movies, and discuss the creature known as the Eighth Wonder of the World.

The original King Kong is in many ways a film about the ambition of the cinema and the inherent exploitation involved in the process. Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong) is a film producer known for his elaborate films filled with strange peoples in native lands. Now he’s looking for something better than ever. The themes of exploitation start nearly from the beginning of the film as Carl goes out to find a starlet for his new picture. He’s out checking ladies shelters and wandering the streets when he helps out petty crook Ann (Faye Wray) and convinces her she'll have a shot at stardom if she takes an ocean voyage with him. Before he even sets sail, the audience knows Denham is sleazy and likely to do anything and endanger anyone to get his film. Of course, that is exactly what happens as Ann becomes the target for Kong, the giant ape next on Denham’s list of the exploited. It is hard not to talk about the racial undertones of Kong, but I am going to let those who already have (and have much better than I) pursue that path.

Relatively little of the action in King Kong (1933) happens off of Skull Island despite the New York sequence being the most memorable moments in the zeitgeist. Kong is taken to New York to be shown on Broadway, with Ann, though obviously both have their own misgivings about being a performer in such context. He is displayed in a fashion that brings to mind the expositions of freaks and oddities that P.T. Barnum had been hawking in the Big Apple less than a half a century beforehand. Kong represents and unknowable mystery, and when faced with such a thing, often the impetuous is not understanding, but rather, profit. While certainly Merian C. Cooper and Edgar Wallace might not have intentionally placed such a rich tapestry of social, political, and economic symbolism into Kong, it certainly is a film which has become a classic due to the richness of interpretation. The film spoke to fears of race, immigration, corporate greed, public safety, and more while still maintaining its main facet as an adventure tale with a monstrous ending.

While 1976’s King Kong simplifies or outright ignores issues brought to mind with the 1933 version, it takes a page out of the King playbook and adapts its mission to the times. This time out, the film producer is replaced with an oil executive, right in the midst of the great oil shortage of the late ’70s. Fred Wilson, played with despicable arrogance by the king of despicable arrogance Charles Grodin, had his eye on Skull Island due to vast deposits of crude he believes he will find there. Stowaway paleontologist Jack Prescott (Jeff Bridges) replaces the nay saying sailor from the original film as he is the unheard voice of reason, and Fay Wray’s homeless girl Ann who was just looking for her big break becomes Jessica Lang’s shipwrecked ingénue Dwan found floating in the ocean after an unexplained explosion on a yacht. With an over two hour running time, the remake does dispense with the dinosaurs also living on Skull Island (weakly replacing them with a snake fight), but it takes more time building a love triangle between Dwan, Jack and Kong as well as delivering a screed against corporate greed which is the main thrust of King Kong ‘76. When Fred can't bring home the big strike, he brings home the big ape to be a mascot for the brand. This portrayal, that corporations will destroy nature, despite its usefulness to them, is a major theme that comes up in this version, and it is a theme that was on many minds in the 1970s.

Clearly, 1933’s King Kong is the better picture. Not only did it practically invent the wheel as giant monsters go, including the incredible special effects work of Willis O’Brien, and set the bar for all creature features to come (really only to be matched by my number one pick), it is also a seamless masterpiece from the classic era of Hollywood. 1976’s King Kong comes close. By updating the story to the modern era and some (and I do mean some) deft work by special effects master Carlo Rimbaldi (and Rick Baker in a monkey suit), the remake brings the story into the world of late 70s America across the board. Both features benefited from having directors who were already steeped in genre film. Ernest B. Schoedsack, like his co-director and partial creator of Kong Merian C. Cooper, went uncredited on the screen, but there is no doubt in my mind he pushed a visual style for the film. His previous films, The Most Dangerous Game and The Four Feathers, were both adventure epics, wide in scope and dynamic. He was the perfect pick to capture the feeling of Skull Island and its inhabitants. The remake of King Kong benefited from director John Guillermin’s steady, experienced hand. Guillermin’s resume included a pair of Tarzan films, dog fighting classic The Blue Max, Blaxploitation sequel Shaft in Africa, and the big budget disaster flick The Towering Inferno. He clearly knew how to shoot action, pathos, and make a movie with a subtle, but interesting, message. The experience of these genre film directors with material meant simply to entertain gives both films a chance to breathe in what could be a heavy handed narrative.

Fay Wray and Jessica Lang both make for striking paramours for King Kong, but their characters could not be more different. Wray’s Ann is the picture of revulsion, and, while Kong receives the audience’s sympathy in his final frames, Ann never comes around to seeing the monkey’s charm. Lane’s Dwan, on the other hand, wants to protect the ape by the time the climax rolls around. The same dichotomy could be seen though Daniels’ hippieish professor in the remake as opposed to Bruce Cabot’s hard as nails sailor as the protector of the damsels in distress. The only character that really stays the same is Carl Denham and Fred Wilson as played by Robert Armstrong and Charles Grodin. Denham and Wilson are both vile opportunists, despite the fact that their path and drive are completely different. They are both exploiters, and that is the linchpin upon which the King Kong movies turn. Kong must be exploited, and it takes men like Denham and Wilson to do it. Armstrong does come off with his character seeming clueless, disgusting, but not completely without merit. Charles Grodin plays Fred Wilson the way he plays everything, like the worst person you have ever met. It may just be me, but I hate Charles Grodin because I always loathe his characters. Maybe I can’t separate actor from the role, but damn, he seems like such an asshole.

I could go on and compare the scores (both excellent), the cinematography (better in the original), and hash out details of minor characters, but at the end of the day, the two King Kongs (Three if you must count that one) are films that could be endlessly debated and compared. Let’s just suffice it to say that I adore both of these pictures. However, I will admit that King Kong ‘76 holds the pair out of the number one slot because of the monkey suit. While it added extra layers of character for Kong and the original Ape was a hair off of being a racist caricature, it just looks so much worse than Willis’ original animation at some points. It’s also a little weird when Kong ascends the World Trade Center in the remake instead of the Empire State which is what I always expect. For these minor reasons, King Kong ‘76 rates a full step under its original brethren, but I felt like I had to have both on the list. That leaves us with only one movie left on the countdown, and I can’t believe this month is done. The 31 posts in 31 days was more work than I even remembered it being, but capping it all off with the Bigger and Better and all the great support and comments from you folks has made it all worth it. Make sure you scroll on down to find the list I traditionally place at the number 2 position, my number one best pal, Ms. Fran Goria.

Bugg Rating

King Kong 1933

King Kong 1976

What can I say about Fran Goria? She’s my best pal, my partner in crime, my horror movie maven, the biggest Vincent Price fan I know, and incredible cook, a man’s girl, and a girl’s gal. Apart from my wife, there’s no one I like to spend time with more, and there is no one (including my wife) I would rather spend an afternoon watching something craptastic with. So, in a nutshell, she’s the best, and here’s her list. Take it away, Fran.

1- GODZILLA- I've never met one I didn't love!

2- ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN- Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...especially if she's 50 foot tall!

3- THE HOST- One giant mutant monster, one Korean family, one hell of a good film!

4- TREMORS- Kevin Bacon and Reba McEntire in a small desert town terrorized by giant people-eating worms...a good time to be had by all!

5- EIGHT LEGGED FREAKES- David Arquette, giant spiders, ands campy goodness!

Short and sweet, and there’s only one flick I see on there that could have come in at number 1. Yes, folks, come by tomorrow to check my review of Eight Legged Freaks. Ooops, I let the cat out of the bag. Spoiler Alert. Just kidding, it’s really Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Don’t believe me? You’ll see tomorrow as Halloween

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 :#3: Them! (1954)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 21:00:00 +0000

The 1950s were an era of us against them, but the ‘Them’ of today’s selection for the Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 is a foe for all seasons and eras. I’m talking about the bane of picnics, the scourge of lemonade stands, the menace of masticating mountain men, the common ant. Just like yesterday’s film featured a tiny worm grown to gargantuan proportions, today’s takes one of the smallest and most common (and most commonly stomped on) members of the insect family and turns the size tables on humankind Naturally, it’s also our fault. When nature attacks in the nuclear age, you can always bet that the A-bomb is not too far behind. Strangely, it also has something else behind it that most major giant monster movies lack, studio support and a budget. Taking the mutant creature feature and giving it proper effects, a solid cast, an experienced director, and a script that makes sense and leads to exciting scenes, Hollywood crafted the crown jewel of American 1950s science fiction/horror features, the exclamatorily named classic, Them!

Patrolling the New Mexico desert, Sergeant Ben Peterson (James Whitmore) and his partner Ed (Chris Drake) discover a young, catatonic girl wandering alone. They trace her back to a trailer owned by her family, but it is destroyed and looks like someone peeled into it like a can of peas. As more dead bodies begin to pile up, Washington sends in FBI man Robert Graham (James Arness), but the G-Man has no more idea of the culprits identity than the local police. He forwards a single track found at the scene to the National Zoological center where it ends up in the hands of a father-daughter entomologist team, Harold (Edmund Gwenn) and Pat Medford (Joan Weldon). They have wild speculations, but they refuse to identify where their suspicions lead until, while investigating the trailer where the girl was found, they run into the killer, one of many radiated giant ants. Dr. Medford muses they must be the product of nuclear testing in the desert some nine years prior, and while the police band together to wipe out the New Mexican colony, several queens had escaped the ant den. The doctors Medford, Peterson, and Graham must team up to find the other nests before life as we know it is ended by Them!

Jack Warner, of Warner Brothers Studio, hated the idea behind Them!. He didn't feel like it was the kind of picture that belonged on poverty row and not a refined establishment like his family’s studio. However, he gave the film a budget, allowed moderate level (though Oscar nominated) stars appear in it, and even mounted an ambitious marketing campaign. There was one thing that Jack Warner would have hated more than making a giant ant movie, and that thing was losing money on it. He needn't have worried though. While the movie going audience had seen giant monsters, attacking dinosaurs, and even huge humans on the screen before, Them! marked the first appearance of the giant insect as a movie menace. Preying both on a nuclear fear and the base fear of the tiny, unassuming insect turned deadly killer, Them! made the mold from which films like Tarantula, Empire of the Ants, Attack of the Crab Monsters, The Black Scorpion, Tremors, Eight Legged Freaks, The Mimic, and many other films have followed. I've talked about many films being firsts which caused a shift in the genre, but, apart from the top two films still to be included on this list, I don't know of another whose influence is as long reaching or pervasive while still holding its own as a quality feature even after all these years.

In 1954, Them! was actually in contention at the Academy Awards. No, it didn’t get the two previously nominated actors (James Whitmore and Edmund Gwenn) another nomination or impress anyone enough to score a best picture nod, but it did compete in the special effects category. Sadly, it lost out to Walt Disney’s big screen opus 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (the other completion was strangely Hell or High Water, another submarine movie.) The ants, which in full color would have shine with luminescent greens and purples, were built by the film’s unsung, and unaccredited hero, Ralph Ayres. His creatures were not laughable, they actually seem pretty disturbing, and despite their limited mobility I wouldn't want to meet up with one in a dark desert. There are a few times their flaws show (including one moment late in the film where the entire inner workings get shown off), but they are so stunningly created that I can suspend my disbelief.

As I mentioned earlier, Them! geatures not one, but two, Oscar nominees. Edmund Gwenn won his award for Best Supporting Actor for the role we still know him best as, Kris Kringle in Miracle on 34th Street. In his long career he would take on many other roles, such as Hitchcock’s The Trouble with Harry, and every time I see him pop up in a film I know I will get a quality performance no matter the material. So that means if he was going to be a nutty old scientist tracking down giant ants, he would give it his all, and he did. James Whitmore was nominated for the same award, two years after Gwenn, in 1949, but he lost out to Dean Jagger in Twelve O'Clock High. Whitmore also delivers as the spark plug copper on the trail of ants, and the actor would remain vital in TV and film right up until his death appearing in films as diverse as Tora! Tora! Tora!, The Asphalt Jungle, The Shawshank Redemption, and The Majestic as well as hawking Miracle Grow on TV for years.

Apart from the Oscar bait, Them! Also features a number of interesting performances and familiar faces. The first of those faces showed up early on for me when character actor William Schallert, a staple of TV and film for sixty years (seriously, he started in a movie called Dr. Jim in 1947 and appeared on True Blood as the mayor in 2011), showed up as an ambulance attendant. The legion of faces continues with Marshall Dillon a.k.a The Thing From Another World, James Arness, as the FBI agent who later goes to interview a distressed Air Force pilot played by Fess Parker. When Walt Disney saw Them! while scouting Arness for the role of Davy Crockett he actually found his coonskin cap wearing mountain man in the wild eyed performance of Parker here. Them! Even features a blink and you'd miss him cameo from future sci-fi legend Leonard Nimoy as if it needed to further show off how cool it is as a film. I could go on about the cast indefinitely. Clicking from name to name in IMDB reveals a near complete cast of actors who went on to appear in dozens of genre films, both the expected and unexpected, in a myriad of ways. Them! not only appears to be patient zero of the giant insect films, but also a focal point in the waning and waxing of a number of movie careers.

One of the most amazing careers associated with Them! Is that of the director Gordon Douglas. By the time he directed Them! He had been behind the camera for twenty years with fifty nine credits, shorts and features, to his name. Already he had made classic cuts of cult and genre cinema like I Was a Communist for the FBI, Zombies on Broadway, Dick Tracy vs. Cueball, and The Great Gildersleeve movies. This even, experienced hand is what is able to guide the audience through Them! without the whole affair blowing apart in a sea of laughter. Certainly, the dated effects and somewhat stilted dialog (though the script by Ted Sherdeman, who would end his career with the Toho film Latitude Zero, was deft for the era), can lead to a campy flair, but Douglas and his cast make the proceedings feel real even within their time capsule picture. Douglas would continue to move with the times, and before he laid his 97th film into the books, he also directed the features In Like Flint with James Coburn, The Detectives with Frank Sinatra, Slaughter’s Big Rip Off with Jim Brown, and Viva Knievel! with Evel Knievel.

The 1950s were the crowning age of the giant monster, and, one of the last two films on The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13, was also released the same year as Them! The other formulated the whole genre and brought the fear of the giant creature into the zeitgeist. While it didn't spawn it’s own franchise to include Sunday morning cartoons or a couple of prestige level remakes, I put Them! right up there with my last two choices as an event in film history that impacted a giant trend in giant sized films, and it still exerts influence over filmmakers today. Them! didn’t invent the wheel, and it didn't perfect it either, but it did provide a bite the genre. In doing so, it secured a place not only in science fiction and horror history, but in the history of film itself. That brings us to the just and honorable conclusion to the third entry on the countdown. Only two more days left to go, and that means the submitted lists are getting Bigger and Badder as well. Today, it’s none other than the Deadly Doll, Emily Intravia.

Bugg Rating

What can I say about Emily that I haven’t already said before? She’s got one of the most interesting tastes in film that I could imagine, and it completely runs the gambit. I never know exactly what she might like, and I sure and heck never know what I’ll end up watching in out movie swap. From her Deadly Doll’s House to her work on Gleekast to her new podsperience, The Feminine Critique with Ms, Christine Makepeace of http://thefemininecritique.tumblr.com/ Emily keeps you guessing, and I always appreciate that. So I bestow the award on her of “Most Creative Picks” as she counts down her favorite giant beasties in a way I think few out there would, and that’s a good thing. Take it away, Emily!

This was NOT easy for me! "Big monsters." PFF!

13. Infestation

A goofy, gooey low budget blast from a few years back, Infestation follows an unlikely band of survivors in the wake of a quiet, but global takeover by intergalactic spider and cockroach thingies. The great Ray Wise stops by with a supporting role as a bomb shelter

enthusiast, but it’s the giant spider and cockroach thingies that ultimately make this underseen, begging-for-a-sequel gem something truly fun and special.

12. Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People

Although the titular villainous fungi do eventually make a bizarre and awesome appearance, this 1963 Japanese cult classic is a surprisingly slow burn trip into a darker side of humanity. When a group of wealthy friends get shipwrecked on an abandoned island, starvation leads to madness leads to in-fighting which leads to eating mushrooms that turn you into, well, a mushroom person. They're much taller than the average man, far more colorful, textured, and more than anything, intensely more awesome. Because in case I didn’t mention it, they are mushroom people.

11. Tremors

One of the few genre classics to come out of the '90s, Tremors is joyous for its sunny desert setting, random pole vaulting, and adorable bromance between a feather-topped Kevin Bacon and an always welcome Fred Ward. Also, it's got giant worms. REALLY giant worms. Couple that with a twanging Bacon, educated love interest, and gun-toting Reba McEntire and what's not to like?

10. Q the Winged Serpent

Michael Moriarty is a tall man, but this Larry Cohen classic earns its spot here for its titular stop animation monster. Like a cheery Godzilla film set in New York, Q has fun with itself from beginning to end. Also, Michael Moriarty scats. That’s just a bonus.

9. The Lair of the White Worm

Before he was tossing his floppy hair all about or stammering over declarations of love to Hollywood leading ladies, Hugh Grant made a wonderfully dry turn in the late and great Ken Russell's The Lair of the White Worm. Think Tremors by way of The Devils, then toss in about 38% more phallus shaped objects and 100% more giant worms.

8. The Spy Who Loved Me

It would have been dangerously easy for me to compile this list purely based on actors over 6 feet tall. As someone who lied on her driver's license to be 5'2, anyone over the national average is a towering giant to me. I resisted the urge, but when a villainous henchman stands at 7’2, I think an exception can be made. Richard Kiel's silently sadistic gold-fanged killer Jaws is something truly special. Can YOU survive a shark attack with just your teeth? Didn’t think so (and if you can, you are awesome).

7. Empire of the Ants

A giant ant is somewhat akin to saying jumbo shrimp, especially in this cheesy '70s gem that can never quite decide how big it wants its mutated insects to be. Occasionally, the frisky workers stand over our bell bottom wearing victims like miniature houses, though scenes that follow come closer to matching the height of, well, miniature poodles.

It’s a minor quibble that’s easily forgiven when a film about killer ants’ tagline is “It’s no picnic!”

6. Gnaw: Food of the Gods 2

Sure, Bert I. Gordon's giant chickens and forced perspective from his original are charming, but this in-name-only sequel sees its giant rats and raises the stakes with 80s fashion, freakishly giant children, montages, synchronized swimming, and much more adorable giant rats.

5. Starship Troopers

Perhaps one of cinema's most misunderstood films, Paul Verhoeven's Starship Troopers has thankfully emerged from its mediocre box office and critical theatrical performance to now finally be accepted as a far-smarter-than-you-thought satire. Yes, the analogies of a

militaristic society are felt, but you know what else this movie has? Big arachnids. And huge cockroach things that shoot fiery plasma into space from their butts. And a gooey brain bug that sucks out Tori Spelling's ex-boyfriend's brain. Seriously folks, just try to tell me Starship Troopers isn't one of the best films of all time. I dare you (unless you have gold teeth that can bite through shark teeth, at which point: whatever you say goes dude).

4. Killer Klowns From Outer Space

I know the keeper of this lair isn't a fan, but come on! 7' tall alien clowns that drink your blood via crazy straw through a cotton candy wrapping? As if the above-average-height worker clowns aren't monstrous enough, we end the film with a 3-story tall punk rock

sharp-toothed but vulnerable nosed giant.

3. Them!

Rightfully dubbed by most to be the best of the United State's 1950s era monster output, Them! is a shockingly creepy and refreshingly progressive little movie that far exceeds its popcorn quality. A haunting opening introduces us to a catatonic recent orphan who can

only speak to scream the title, which of course refers to a new breed of nuclear wrought gigantic ants. Throw in a modern female scientist and the always welcome James Whitmore and you have one good Big Insect Movie.

2. Maximum Overdrive

Though I do not condone drug addiction, sometimes, a director being higher than a Malaysian skyscraper during filming can benefit the final project in ways that make rehab something to be delayed. That's the case in Stephen King's sole directorial effort, Maximum Overdrive. Between glorious overacting, a kickass AC/DC soundtrack and death by soda machine, Maximum Overdrive is a hoot. Best of all, its mascot and

main villain is an oversized 18-wheeler delivery truck complete with a green goblin face glowing wickedly as it runs over our human roadkill. Did I mention this creepy clown of a hood ornament is supposed to represent a toy company?

1. Riki Oh: The Story of Riki

One of Hong Kong's most excellent exports includes a giant. Also strangulation via intestines. And face punch-ins, extreme haircuts, dummy violence, and just about everything else that is wonderful in this world.

See, what did I tell you, an unforgettable list from an unforgettable lady. Only two days and two films remain, but which will it be. Well, I promise a pair of heavy hitters was get into the final day and the day of Halloween. So keep your web cruiser's dialed into The LBL, and we'll have a monster of a Halloween!

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13: #4: Tremors (1990)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 21:00:00 +0000

I remember very well when I first saw Tremors. I recall going to the theater my freshman year of high school not really knowing what to expect from a film that featured both Remo Williams and Alex P. Keaton’s dad, but the promise of Dune-esque giant sandworms was enough to get my butt in the seat. Tremors flopped upon that initial release, but in my heart, it was one of the movies of the year. Funny, exciting, and gory, it had everything that a teenage boy could want… except nudity, but you can't have it all. When Tremors came to VHS, it got a second life, and the franchise became popular enough to spawn several sequels which are surprisingly not that bad. Tremors was one of the first films to have a mainstream second life on home video that the box office would not have anticipated. With its wild creatures, a well rounded cast, and keen, sharp pacing, Tremors has always had a special place in my heart. So I invite you to come on into that special place, and join me as I dig into #4 on the B&B H13, 1990’s Tremors.

Valentine McKee and Earl Bassett (Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward) are handymen in the small town of Perfection, Nevada think their life there is anything but perfection. Already dissatisfied with their meager work, when dead bodies and mysterious happenings start spreading through town, they resolve to get out of the city. Their escape doesn't go so well when they find themselves trapped by a rockslide, but the menace isn't a murderer on the loose; it’s a pack of giant sandworms named Graboids by the local store owner Walter (Victor Wong). Gathering in Walter’s store, Valentine, Earl, Walter, and the comely seismologist Rhonda (Finn Carter), must try to find a way to save themselves and the town’s population from becoming earthworm food. Thanks to the firepower of nearby neighbor Burt (Michael Gross) and his wife Heather (Reba McEntire) they just might have a chance, but the longer they plan, the smarter the worms get until the last chance is a face to face showdown.

There are so many great facets to Tremors, but I'm going to start off talking about the Graboids themselves. As a creature, they are entirely different than anything that has ever been on the screen unless there was an interstellar spice trade going on, and even those sandworms did not feature the tentacled mouth and general sliminess that Tremors’ creatures had on display. They are truly, truly, nasty nightmarish creatures, and of all the myriad of ways I could go that I have seen and written about, I think the worst for me would be being eaten by a giant worm. Certainly the lowly worm climbing to the top of the food chain is one level in which the monster engenders fear, but as I have talked about in so many of these films, there is a metaphoric level to their appearance as well. They really don't appear until Valentine and Earl are getting ready to get out of their dumpy town, and surely on some level the worms present a literal roadblock to getting out. They are the fear of being unable to escape in slimy, segmented form.

While the creatures sell the film, the performances are what really makes Tremors. Today’s film (and tomorrow’s, but you'll have to wait to see what that is) benefit greatly from having a solid cast working in the science fiction genre with the backing of a major studio. Kevin Bacon is basically a national treasure I'm sure we can all agree. I don't even like but a handful of his flicks, but based on those alone he deserves to be remembered in the highest echelons of American actors. Now I would say the same about his co-star, Fred Ward, as well, but I’m thinking that unless you're the type of person who wishes The Adventure would Continue, then you probably don't agree with me. Bacon and Ward have a genuine chemistry that rises about what could have been “typical “buddies”. The pair, plus Ms Carter’s scientist, makes for a classic film trio. Their dynamic was straight out of 50s sci-fi cinema, but with a reality that made it all gel. The same can be said of the supporting cast. I always love seeing Victor Wong in anything, and Tremors is no exception. My only flaw with the film is that it doesn't stay enough with my favorite duo, Bert and Heather, played by Family Ties dad Michael Gross, who started filming the day after his classic 80s sitcom wrapped, and country singer Reba McEntire making her screen debut. They give such solid performances that I kind of wished the movie was about them. Sadly while Gross and Ward returned for the sequels, Bacon and McEntire moved on to greener and less slimy pastures.

Writer S.S. Wilson is an unsung hero of my childhood. It wasn't until I was researching Tremors for this article I found out what a big impact he had on my viewing as kid. First off, he wrote the Saturday morning cartoon series MASK, and I was so into MASK when I was a kid. I know other folks liked it, but I had MASK bed sheets. I was a no joke fan. Then he wrote a pair of movies that I adore from watching them countless times on HBO, Short Circuit and Short Circuit 2. I wasn't so much a fan of his next feature *batteries not included, but I do like that it is the only title I know of that requires an asterisk. After that he wrote Tremors, and the Tremors sequels. The less said about his involvement in Ghost Dad and Wild Wild West (Did he bring in the giant spider in the 3rd act?) the better. He really went all out with Tremors crafting homage to the classic 50s giant monster movies that lost all the hokey unintentional humor and replaced it with belly laughs that come from situational comedy. The script also played to the strengths of director Ron Underwood who would hit the big time with his next feature City Slickers which kept the Western adventure and lost the giant creatures (opting for a small creature, namely Billy Crystal) and then be banished to the small screen when he made Pluto Nash.

Tremors was an earthquake. It took a shakeup that would provide a perfect cast who responded to the material and treated it both as a genre film and a serious undertaking, a director whose touch with both adventure and drama propelled the film, a script which was both clever and clear with characters that were uniformly likeable. That’s one of the best things about Tremors. There’s no guy that tries to double cross everyone to get free or a schemer waiting to sell them out to the worms. The town bands together and helps each other in a way that could also be associated with communities of the era Tremors was paying respect. The film even benefits from a killer country soundtrack with tunes by Tanya Tucker (“It’s a Cowboy Lovin’ Night”), Bobby Bare (“Drop Kick Me Jesus”), and even the closing track by star McIntyre (“Why Not Tonight”) add to the richness of the film as a whole. If it were not for minor quibbles about the film, then Tremors could have easily ranked as high as the other films on this list any given day. Speaking of ranking, down below you will find the ranking of giant monsters from a very special lady, Christine Hadden of Fascination with Fear. So check that out and join me back here tomorrow as turn my eyes to the massiveness of the penultimate penultimate #3 on the Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13!

Bugg Rating

I know I’ve said this before for practically every person who has had a list on The Halloween Top 13, but Christine is the type of person that I thank my lucky stars that I started doing what I do because I might never have met her otherwise. Fascination with Fear is consistently one of my favorite reads, and my self proclaimed “internet cousin” always impresses me with her interesting viewpoints and analysis of the horror genre. So it should come as no surprise that she also has an incredible list to share. So I won’t take up any more of your time. Take it away Ms. Hadden:

1) Godzilla/Gojira - It really is a total toss up between my top two, because anyone who knows me knows I am insanely in love with Jaws...but damn, Godzilla is the original giant monster, am I right? When I put on my DVD of the original 1954 Gojira, that music just takes me away and I am in heaven for an hour & a half. People running in fear on the streets of Tokyo? You really do gotta love it! I admire Godzilla also for eventually becoming a hero in Japan, instead of a mere monster!

2) Jaws - People. I love this film. But my great taste in horror aside, there can really be no bigger fear than something that can eat you alive and actually does exist. I vacation at the shore every year and each time I am there I am always watching out for fins. It has made such an impression on me (and the rest of the world, I'm sure) that it has become my favorite horror film. It's just that damn scary.

3) Jurassic Park T-Rex - Seeing the T-Rex on the big screen when this film came out was pure excitement and adrenaline. Its roar, its teeth, its big giant eye looking through the car window! Much like Godzilla of course, Rex has no competition in the animal world.

4) King Kong - Truly one of the original Big Baddies. I prefer the 1933 version over any of the other ones. Kong really makes you feel for him and his situation, and by god I've always rooted for the gigantic gorilla over his captors anyday.

5) Rogue - So much bad shit happens in Australia in horror movies that it really doesn't make me want to travel there anytime soon. Even more so if there is a giant crocodile ready to pounce. This movie was a pleasant surprise - it's beautifully shot, has a fantastic score, decent acting, and loads of palpable tension.

6) The Mist .What can I say? I hate bugs. Ever so passionately. And these bugs are giant fucking insects. Like pterodactyls or something! Underneath all the blatant horror, there's a morality play going on. How far would you go to ensure the safety of your loved ones in a time of crisis? Awesome ending, as well. Sometimes, bleak is better.

7) Lake Placid - Betty White and a big croc! Can't top that in my book. Put this film and Rogue together as a double feature and you've got an event!

8) The Kraken - (Pirates of the Caribbean) - You know what I almost like better than Johnny Depp? Yep, a giant mythological sea creature meant to destroy ships and eat people. And all those tentacles. Flat out creepy. Isn't the ocean scary enough with Jaws in there? They really had to go and add a giant squid? Gah!

9) The Fly (1986 version) - I can't say enough about this film. I don't know how much of a monster film it is, but if you think about it Jeff Goldblum as the titular character is quite a bit larger than your average fly. Science project gone oh-so-wrong!

10) Anaconda - So bad it's good...with Jon Voight chewing up scenery and J-Lo looking all hot and bothered, you can't help but to like this giant snake (dare-I-say) classic.

11) The Blob - I'm talking the '88 version here, though really, either one would do. A whole lotta jello doing its thing, Seems weird. IS weird. But it certainly has it's monster creep-out value.

12) Mimic - I can't really think of anything any worse than a giant cockroach. Except maybe being stuck in a New York subway system. With multiple giant cockroaches.

13) Them! (1954) - The Sci-Fi sub-genre is so famous for big monsters. Rats, mice, rabbits...even (as in the case here) giant ants. This old gem is one of the first giant monster movies I ever saw. On a Saturday afternoon, curled up on my couch with my mom watching either Vincent Price films or these old monster films. They are dear to my heart.

They’re dear to my heart as well Christine as are you. As are all of you. If you’ve made it this far though the countdown, well I bet you’ve whittled it down to just a few selections that could be waiting at the top three slots on the list, but which one and in what order? Tune in tomorrow and every day until Halloween to find out!

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13: #5: Attack of the 50ft. Woman (1958)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Sat, 27 Oct 2012 20:00:00 +0000

For the second time on this list, I will be talking about an exclusively humanoid giant, but unlike the teens in Village of the Giants, this time it isn't played so much for laughs. In the eyes of a conservative nation, which America has steadily grown out of over the years, the rise of the Women’s Christian Temperance Organization in the 1870s-80s was nothing less than monstrous. While their purpose was to ban alcohol, something that few people would rally around now, one of their main reasons was to improve the home life of women who were abused, beaten, and neglected thanks to the rampant alcoholism which had spread like wildfire among the nation’s male population. To many, the members of that group, as well as the women’s suffragettes, were nothing less than monstrous. However, these two movements were the seed of what would grow to be the modern feminist movement, which came into its own nearly a hundred years later in the 1960’s. Despite winning the vote in the 1920s and powering the country through World War II, when the men came home, they still expected to find meek partners who bent to their husband’s will, but by the late 1950s the strain between the sexes was beginning to show even in idyllic middle America. So it comes as no surprise that a movie came along and exploited the fear of the powerful woman whose cause was just, if not her methods. Granted she was still dressed in an awfully titillating style, but Attack of the 50 Foot Woman offered up a giant woman in the place of a giant movement just waiting in the wings.

For any of the magic of Attack of the 50ft Woman to happen, you just have to go along with the fact that some aliens come down to Earth, wearing a medieval tabard, and make some women enormous. That’s all there really is to that. When Nancy Archer (Allison Hayes) was speeding through the desert, she had no plans to come into contact with a crashed alien vessel. She was just your average independently wealthy, previously institutionalized heiress with a philandering husband, Harry (William Hudson), who was out to get her money. So when she comes to town with a wild story about a giant spaceman, no one will believe her, especially Harry, who would rather be making time with his girlfriend Honey Parker (Yvette Vickers). She finally convinces him to drive out to the desert, and they find the craft. Harry tries to shoot it because, let’s go ahead and face it, Harry is a total douche bag. Naturally, his next move is to ditch Nancy there. The next morning she is found unconscious on the roof of her pool house. When she is taken to the hospital, a strange thing happens. She begins to grow, and she is righteously pissed.

When I set out to make the first drafts of the movies that are appearing on The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13, one of the first I listed was this title. Not only because it has a great underlying subtext, but also because it’s a fun, campy little slice of classic science fiction nonsense. I suppose I'm not the only one that thinks that it’s a great one. In fact, I have the endorsement of The Smartest Man in the World. Every year when I send out requests for lists, I also send emails to a few strange celebrities that I enjoy and, I assume a) they will never see the e-mail, b) wouldn’t have time or want to respond, c) would think I was a madman, d) all of the above. So imagine my surprise when I got a response, albeit a protracted one, from one of my personal idols. I’m talking about the stand up master, the improv kind, all around raconteur, and sublime sartorialist, Greg Proops. If you don’t know Greg from anywhere else, you may recall him from Whose Line is It Anyway, but know him from other places like his aforementioned Smartest Man podcast. So long story short (too late), here is the entirety of the response I got from Mr. Proops when I asked him this question:

Bugg: Every year for Halloween, I count down 13 of my favorite films, and this year the theme is giant monsters, creatures, insects, critters, etc. Naturally I wouldn't impose on you to list a number of films, but I was wondering if you could share with my readers your favorite Giant menace film?

Greg: Giant Menace eh? Like Attack of the 50 Foot Woman? I will check out your site.

I’ll admit I left that last bit in there because it will be there in perpetuity (or should I say Proopetuity) to remind me there is a slim chance that Greg Proops has seen the Lair. Anyhow, to answer Greg’s query. Yes, exactly like Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, and now I am actually going to get on with it.

Sure, Nancy Archer wasn’t the perfect backdrop for female empowerment. Her money was inherited. She may or may not have been sound of mind. (We are taking Harry’s word on this, and I've already tipped how I feel about him.) However, we're talking about a woman who is literally empowered to act out her revenge. Her size was representative of the years of pent of anger from being marginalized and mistreated. When it emerged, there was only one way it could have ended. A woman scorned is more than a clever saying. If you don't believe me, scorn one. There are only two drawbacks to the 50 ft Nancy’s revenge; both were out of her control. The effects used to overlay her image are sometimes less than opaque, and I wish her climactic rampage through the town wasn't so short. I could have used seeing her toss some more people around and maybe stomp on a few for good measure. What we do get is satisfying in its own way, and if you don't smile when giant Nancy drops a heavy beam on Honey Parker, then there is a good chance you are dead inside. At only 65 minutes, things have to happen fast for the 50ft Woman and, sadly, many avenues I would have liked to seen explored or refined are left to the imagination.

Allison Hayes is a woman whose own story mirrors issues of women’s health and well being. A beautiful woman, who made a real impression on audiences in the 1954 mini-epic Sign of the Pagan opposite Jack Palance, Hayes’ career never reached beyond a string of minor roles and B-movies before descending into episodic television work. Though in our minds now she has cult status from, if nothing else, her iconic image on the poster which is recognizable even to folks who haven't seen the film; at the time the notoriety garnered her no more fame or work than she had before. Coupled with her faltering career, she began experiencing health problems, and while reading an article about lead poisoning in factory workers, she recognized the symptoms. She soon discovered that the calcium supplement she had been taking for years was chock full of lead. She spearheaded an effort to have the supplement banned by the FDA, but her own health had already gone too far. She succumbed to complications with a blood transfusion while suffering from leukemia in 1977 at age 48, only nineteen years after her role as the ultimate giantess.

All the actors in Attack of the 50ft Woman have the same kind of alternately wooden and over the top style that is almost the stereotype of 50s sci-fi cinema, but that’s not to say that they aren't enjoyable. Even in the film’s short running time, the main three characters set up everything you need to know about them in shorthand. Allison Hayes plays Nancy like a frazzled, wild eyed mess, but when she becomes a giant, the steely determination she puts forth is palpable. William Hudson, who had played a very different kind of role the year before in The Amazing Colossal Man, was so easy to despise as Harry that you can’t wait for Nancy to get a hold of him. When she does, I always wish that H.G. Lewis could take over from that point and pick him apart. Yvette Vickers has little to do as Honey, but all she has to do is make her a despicable tramp, which she does in spades.

Director Nathan Jura began his career with westerns and two fisted tales of action, really began making a name for himself in science fiction films with 1957’s 20 Million Miles to Earth, a tale of a space exploration vessel and the giant lizard it encounters. It is a title which has popped up several time already on the lists that have been submitted to me. After Attack of the 50ft Woman, he would go on direct more giant features working with Ray Harryhausen on The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, the TV show World of Giants, and the 1962 feature Jack the Giant Killer. While Juran stumbled a bit on quality in 50ft Woman (ultimately pulling his name off the film), the tale itself holds its own with its pedigree from writer Mark Hanna, whose other major work, Not of This Earth, is also a sci-fi classic. Hanna had also penned The Amazing Colossal Man, and there is no way of really knowing if he meant to include the film’s subtext while he was spinning a new yarn off the moderate success of a previous project or is time and history had shaped the opinions around this film.

So far on this Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 countdown, Attack of the 50 ft woman has a distinction higher than just being the tallest woman to appear on this list. She has also garnered the most words of any of my selections so far, but there’s still four more days to go, and who knows what will happen with those films. I have some big plans that I think you all will enjoy. Before this review grows to a much more monstrous size, I think I will sign off. I hope you all take some time and scroll down to check out a giant monsters list from my good pal, Jeff Waltrowski, director of Project: Valkyrie and It Came From Yesterday!

Bugg Rating

Today’s list is the first of the really detailed submissions I got in this year. It’s from Jeff Waltrowski, who, as I mentioned and will mention again, director of Project: Valkyrie and It Came From Yesterday! When I started The LBL, there were films I loved that I wanted to get the word out about, just out of my desire for people to see the flick. Project: Valkyrie was one of those films. After my initial review of the film, Jeff got in contact with me, and ever since, he’s been a huge supporter of The Bugg. He’s also a guy who loves movies and knows his monsters. So I shall delay no more, take it away Jeff!

The Best Giant Monster Films to Watch Leading Up to Halloween (or any day of a Calendar Year)

By Jeff Waltrowski

*NOTE TO READER: One may find this list slightly top-heavy in the Godzilla dept., but when I think of the best Giant Monster Flicks (and I often do), my brain begins to rattle them of to no end. I have flavored the following with some non-Godzilla seasoning to give the viewer a break from total awesomeness to almost total awesomeness.

10. All Monsters Attack (aka Godzilla’s Revenge) (1969)

This is the only live action film ever made that you should watch in its English Dubbed version. Trust me. What is essentially a highlight reel of the best Godzilla fights of the 60’s, is made even better by Minya’s English language dub.

9. Gamera Vs. Giuron (1969)

Two alien chicks kidnap two little kids, take them to their planet, shave their heads, and tempt them with donuts. You’re Netflixing this TONIGHT!

8. Tokyo S.O.S. (2003)

Godzilla’s epic battle with MechaGodzilla during the Millennium Series was too big for one film and needed to be concluded here. Mothra steps in to turn up the awesome meter.

7. Gamera the Brave (2006)

Gamera spends a huge chunk of this movie as a little baby turtle, which also happens to make this the cutest, most adorable movie of all time. This film also proves that the genre can be touching and poignant. An overlooked, must-see film for any fan of the genre.

6. 20 Million Miles to Earth (1957)

A film list is not a film list without a Ray Harryhausen film on it. Here, Ray shows us his version of King Kong. This time, a creature from Venus, The Ymir, gets bigger and bigger the more he eats until he’s atop the Coliseum dodging bullets. You can guess what happens next.

5. Gojira (1954)

For many fans, this would be on the top of their list. What’s not to love? This allegory for nuclear war started this genre and Ishiro Honda made every frame of this masterpiece gorgeous. This is genre filmmaking at its finest, from any era.

4. Invasion of the Astro Monster (1965)

Aliens from Planet X borrow Godzilla and Rodan to fight off King Ghidorah. I won’t spoil anything, but never trust aliens from Planet X. This film originated the Godzilla victory dance and mankind was made 16% better for it.

3. Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)

This movie has animated sequences, musical numbers, Japanese hippies, an environmental message, and Godzilla using his breathe to fly.

2. Destroy all Monsters (1968)

All the Toho monsters got together to throw a party and you’re invited. And it’s in the future (well 1999, anyway).

1. Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

This is a movie that truly has everything: motorcycle chases, a flying submarine, soldiers with mutant powers, aliens, a bad-ass villain, and just about every monster to come out of Toho in the past 50 years (even King Caesar). Versus director, Ryûhei Kitamura, made what is, not only the perfect giant monster flick, but a perfect genre film. The first time I saw this, I watched it twice in a row.

Ok no wrapping up. If you’ve made it this far today, you get a gold medal in Lair-ing! I commend thee! Also, if you want to see Greg Proops and tell him you're my close personal friend, check him out on these upcoming dates.

10/25 Comedy Works | Denver, CO
11/7 Bar Lubitsch | West Hollywood, CA
11/8 NerdMelt Showroom | Los Angeles, CA
11/14 Bar Lubitsch | West Hollywood, CA
12/2 Soho Theatre | London , UK
12/9 Comedy Attic | Bloomington, IN
12/30 Punch Line | San Francisco, CA

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13: #6: The Host (2006)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:00:00 +0000

After yesterday's trip to the land of the rising sun and Destroy All Monsters, I'm taking a slight detour across Asia to another land and another kind of monster, and the real scary thing, folks, is it might just be us. As I've mentioned before, more often than not, giant monsters are not just the source of menace because they will eat you whole and tear down your city, they're about a deep seated fear of an evil or menace beyond containment. Sometimes it's nukes or nature, but I think that today's flick is the only one in which the source of the menace lies between the lines of International politics. To really get into the peril of the film, then you have to know a bit about the history so I will warn you now that later on there might just be a boring preachy part later on. Until then, it's going to be all about a fishy menace that may or may not be spreading a deadly disease when I talk about the 2006 South Korean creature feature, The Host.

Park Gang-du (Song Kang-ho), an often sleepy and slow witted man, runs a food stand along with his father Hee-bong (Byeon Hee-bong) on the banks of The Han river. One day, while the rest of the family is watching Gang-du’s sister compete for a national archery championship, he and many of the diners are surprised to spy a creature of unknown origin hanging from a nearby bridge. They watch in fascination as it slips into the water, and they bait it toward them by throwing snacks in the water. However, the monster isn't interested in sweet treats. It has a taste for blood, and hopping up out of the river, it begins to ravage its way through the crowd. Gang-du first tries to help fight the creature off, but when that doesn't work, he turns his attention to saving his daughter Hyun-seo (Ko Ah-seong). While she is captured by the monster and presumed dead, the rest of the spectators are put in quarantine by the officials from the permanent U.S. military base and told that the creature was carrying a virus. When Geng-du gets a call from Hyun-seo, who has been presumed dead, saying she is trapped deep in a sewer where the monster dwells, no one will believe him apart from his family. The group stages a daring attempt to get free and go on a quest to destroy the monster and save Hyun-seo.

On the surface of The Host, it can be taken plainly and without interpretation as a well executed giant monster movie. The creature, which looks like an amalgam of dozens of types of marine life, looks utterly real throughout, and in a number of places it is both quite gross and quite clever proving that it isn't without reason to go along with its strength. However, from the opening scene, set six years before the events in the film, we are introduced to the idea that the occupying Americans (and make no mistake, any bases we hold in countries we formally warred in is still an occupied land) have no regard for the population of South Korea when they dump a load of formaldehyde into The Han river kicking off the chain of events that will eventually lead to the rise of the monster. This is one of several points in the film inspired by real events. In 2000, a mortician working for the U.S military dumped a large amount of formaldehyde down the drain despite the environmental danger it would cause. The creature itself is also modeled off a deformed fish that was brought out of The Han, and director Bong Joon-ho specifically wanted the creature to look and feel very real. As the director himself once said, “It’s a stretch to simplify The Host as simply an anti-American film, but there is certainly a metaphor and political commentary about the U.S.” This is certainly true because much of the film is about family.

There are large sections devoted to the character’s rocky relationships from Park Gang-du’s “protein deficiency”, as his father calls it, to his sister’s problem with hesitation, and his brother’s disillusioned former protester These moments could bog down other, lesser monster features, but here it provides an emotional counterpoint that make’s the Park family’s quest to unite and save each other resonate with the viewer. That being said, Bong Joon-ho does take an ill view of both the U.S. agents (they are portrayed as cross eyed buffoons who seem to always have a secret agenda) to even the South Korean officials (inept, politically stagnant, and seemingly just waiting for a command from their American masters), and the fact that the monster is a living breathing reminder of the actions of these two is no accident. It’s also no coincidence that Joon-ho also brings to mind visions of another Asian conflict when the Americans combat the menace with the colorfully named Agent Yellow, and the first person to fight the monster is a foolishly brave, blonde, buff looking American guy, the very vision of a stereotypical movie hero and a meditation on our foreign policy which is often about large actions with regard for the consequences. All in all, Joon-ho brings together a film that mixes the emotional, the political, and the terrifying in one giant fishy shaped menace.

There are two things I have to be honest about when it comes to The Host. Despite South Korea’s reputation for some of the best film making going in the last few years, I find myself often staying away from Asian films as a whole, and they are the area of genre film where I feel I have the least expertise. Secondly, I’m going to talk a bit about the acting, but I often feel strange doing so about anything that is subtitled because I feel there has to be a disconnect between what the actors are saying and the words I am reading. However, with The Host, I felt like the acting was so strong that often wordless moments added more to the rounding of the characters than strings of dialog. Song Kang-ho impresses as Gang-du, and I don't think I've ever seen a performance quite like the one he gives. Emotionally pained with bursts of activity and sometimes even heroism, Kang-ho is an endearing character who pulls you into the film’s action, and though his experience, the film forms its core. Equally impressive is young Ko Ah-seong as his daughter. Ah-seong really impresses in the last half of the film when she herself has to become protector to an even smaller child. While many of the other characters have memorable moments, the supporting cast truly supports Kang-ho and Ah-seong as the events of the film move around them.

As I said earlier, if someone was to watch the film and take it all on face value, I think it still deserves to be coming in at number 6 on a Top 13 of giant monsters. The film is an amazing reinvigoration of the giant monster genre. Without The Host would films such as Cloverfield (not on my list, but there are people that like it) and Troll Hunter (would have been on this list had I not already reviewed it) have even been made. One of the film’s greatest strengths was keeping the monster realistically sized, perhaps the size of a pickup truck, instead of going over the top with everything. While that makes The Host creature about the second smallest on the list (the rabbits from Night of the Lepus I think would be smaller) it packs a hell of a punch overall. There are so many facets of The Host that work for me, and if it wasn't for a slightly confusing narrative and a couple of key moments where the reality of the monster is lost, it would have easily cracked the top five. Even so, The Host is a great film to watch, and then watch again. I’ve seen it three or four times now, and with each viewing, I come up with an effect I like more, a political statement I understand further, or an emotional moment that resonates harder than it has in the past. While giant monster movies are often open to interpretation after the fact, The Host invites you into its symbolic world and wants you to stay a while. I mean, we do look tasty after all. That’s going to put #6 on the Bigger & Badder to bed, and that means there are only five precious more to go to get us to the big day. So join me back here as it gets down to the nitty gritty, and don't forget to scroll on down and check out today’s submitted list.

Bugg Rating

Today's list comes to us from the mighty, mighty The Mike of From Midnight, With Love. I know I've said it before, and I will again, but The Mike is a great guy and a great writer. He's also counting down his Top 50 favorite horror flicks over at From Midnight, and I highly encourage checking that out! I can't thank him enough for taking time out to give me a giant monsters list. Take it away, The Mike

13. Q - The Winged Serpent (1982)

12. Deep Rising (1998)

11. Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1995)

10. Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

9. Tremors (1990)

8. Monsters (2010)

7. The Lost World (1925)

6. Them! (1954)

5. Starship Troopers (1997)

4. The Host (2006)

3. The Blob (1958)

2. Gojira (1954)

1. King Kong (1933)

There's more than a few familiar faces on that list including today's film. So you know I think The Mike is on the right trail. I also see a number that could have made the list if I hadn't previously talked about them. So great list on all counts, and speaking of great lists, the Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 will continue counting them down tomorrow with #5 hitting the interwebs tomorrow night!

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13: #7: Destroy All Monsters (1968)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 22:00:00 +0000

Snakes, bunnies, crocs, teenagers, rats and dinosaurs have made it to The Bigger & Badder Halloween Top 13 in the past six days, but I bet quite a few of you are wondering when I was going to pull out the big guns and talk about a kaiju film. Now, a few of you are wondering what a kaiju film is. Literally translated as “strange beast” for the Japanese, the term refers to any movie that features a monster, hopping vampire, mummy, zombie or other assorted monster, but the word has come to mean something more specific to American audiences. Stateside it is a descriptive used to talk about giant monster movies from Japan, and frequently it is thrown around when discussing Godzilla movies. That’s right, I'm finally including a feature with The King of the Monsters on this list, but he’s not the only one on board. I’m talking about Minilla, Mothra, Rodan, Gorosaurus, Anguirus, Kumonga, Manda, Baragon, Varan, and the big man himself. (Not Clarence Clemmons, but rather Godzilla) In other words the all star giant monster cast of the finale of the Godzilla franchise, Destroy All Monsters!

For years the world had been plagued by monsters, sometimes friendly, but usually destructive creatures that spent a lot of time tearing down buildings and fighting each other. So, eventually, in 1999, when the United Nations Science Committee rounds them all up, they plop the lot of them on the appropriately named Monster Island and booby trap the whole place so they can’t escape again providing defenses for each of the monster’s special skills. Communications to the island are mysteriously lost, and the gaggle of giant creatures is soon loose on the world attacking Paris, New York, London, and Moscow. Dispatched to find out what’s going on, Captain Katsuo Yamane (Akira Kubo) and the crew of the spaceship SY-3 land on the island only to find out that it has been taken over by the Kilaakians, a race of female aliens who wield the power of mind control. They also have taken control of the monsters, and Captain Yamane and his crew must travel to the moon to stop their monster controlling device and bring it back to Earth. However, the danger doesn't stop there the Kilaakians unleash their secret weapon, the three headed King Ghidorah, and if Earth’s mightiest monsters don’t band together to defeat the enemy, it may spell the end of life as we know it.

I know many people criticize Destroy All Monsters for being gimmicky or for the couple of slow spots in the film, but honestly, if you're a fan of giant monster movies, what you look forward to is when they square off against each other. The only way to make that even better is to make them team up to fight a common enemy. Destroy All Monsters has the same rhythm as the recent Avengers movie in a way. The first two thirds have cool moments, but nothing to really write home about. Then there’s that last third in which all heck breaks loose, all bets are off, and awesome doesn't begin to describe it. If there’s a monster from the Toho era of Godzilla films, then it’s included in here (even the Son of Godzilla which everyone, including me, should and does hate.)While the film might not descend into a crazed royal rumble where only one will emerge victorious, it is even more satisfying to see all the various creatures take on Ghidorah. It’s not like the first two thirds of the film are not without merit. Anytime you have monsters destroying famous landmarks from around the world, you can sign me up.

I should also mention that despite having watched the film many times before this was the first occasion where I sat down with the Japanese cut with the original dialog track and a solid set of subtitles. Many of the parts I previously found dull now popped with new life as the text translation made more sense than the dubbing and hearing the voices of the original actors also brought a fresh flavor to the film. I didn't have time to go back and check, but I also believe there were some cuts to previous American versions I had seen. It didn't hurt matters that the copy I watched was crisp, clean, and lush with texture and color throughout. It really made this old favorite new again. Destroy All Monsters also marks a special occasion as it was the last time the four men known as the “Godzilla fathers”, director Ishiro Honda, special effects supervisor Eiji Tsuburaya, producer Tomoyuki Tanaka, and composer Akira Ifukube, would all work on the same film together. From top to bottom, it really shows as the monsters are handled well, the characters given personality throughout, the score hits on classic themes of the series without being derivative, and the monsters themselves almost never looked better popping in the rich color palette on display.

There’s little to say about the human actors in Destroy All Monsters because, let’s face it, they are window dressing that gets up between scenes of destruction and monsters throwing down. Akira Kubo, who also appeared in Throne of Blood and Son of Godzilla, provides a stock heroic character, and while he certainly filled the part, there was nothing particularly compelling about him. Providing a familiar face to anyone who has seen a number of kaiju films is Jun Tazaki, this time playing the head of the United Nations Science Committee, Dr. Yoshido. The only character that makes any kind of impact is Kyôko Ai as the queen of the Kilaakians. Cold and stoic, she provides some of the film’s best moments and far outshines the film’s rather bland hero. One thing that I do think makes Destroy All Monsters shine, as well as any of the films in which he appears, is the person inside the Godzilla suit, Haruo Nakajima. He originated the part in 1954 with the first Godzilla film and strapped on the rubber costume twelve times in his career as a suit actor. On a side note, in March, I will be getting a chance to meet Mr. Nakajima, and while his name may be an unsung hero of the franchise, I can't wait to shake his hand and meet the man behind the King of the Monsters.

You folks may have noticed that I didn't go very in depth into the career of the “Godzilla fathers” or talk really about the background of the beast, and if you think about it, I bet you can figure out why. Yep, this probably won't be the last time you see the big guy pop up on this list, and, who knows, maybe even a pal or two of his from this film might make another appearance. After all, anything can happen on The B&B H13. To those that poo-poo Destroy All Monsters and don't think it deserves the score I gave it or even inclusion on a best of Giant Monsters countdown, first off, that’s a bunch of hogwash. Secondly, show me another movie where a gaggle of Giant creatures like this has a brawl with a three headed dragon and I'll admit that this movie might not be great. Destroy All Monsters was supposed to wrap up the Godzilla franchise, but, as we all know, you can't keep a good monster down. He returned within a year’s time with another installment 1969’s All Monsters Attack. Well, I can promise a quicker turnaround than that for his next appearance at The LBL, but if you want to find out where The Thrilla named ‘Zilla comes in on the list, then you're going to have to wind up the interwebs every evening from now to Halloween as I continue to countdown my last six picks. Until then, make sure you continue to scroll down to see today’s submitted monster list

Bugg Rating

Today’s list comes to us from a guy that is strange, and I don't think he'd mind me saying that at all. That’s because I’m talking Rondal Scott, the big cheese over at The Strange Kids Club. This is another case of if you don’t know that site, then get to know it. He's got a collection of great writers working over there, and Rondal always does a bang up job with anything he touches. That includes his top 10 favorite giant monsters (in no particular order as his e-mail noted). So without further adieu, take it away Mr. Scott.

10. THEM! (1954)

9. The Blob (1988)

8. The Host (2006)

7. Gorgo (1961)

6. King Kong (1976)

5. Jurassic Park (1993)

4. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974)

3. Lake Placid (1999)

2. Super 8 (2011)

1. Q - The Winged Serpent (1982)

I see a lot of likely candidates on that list for my next six films, but which will they be and in what order and is it possible that I'm just lying and none of them are on there. To answer those questions and more, set your computer boxes to The LBL every evening right up until All Hollow’s Eve!

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13: #8: Village of the Giants (1965)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 21:22:00 +0000

So far on the B&B H13, we've had a huge snake, a dinosaur on the loose, a gaggle of deadly enlarged rabbits, and a colossal croc, but today I have one of the scariest things to ever reach enormous proportions, teenagers. Thankfully, today’s movie was made in the 1960s because they don't make an iPhone big enough to quell a tremendous teen of this day and age. Back then, all anyone wanted to do was make the scene and go-go dance with some oversized ducks, but not everyone could make that kind of happening get to happening. I'm getting ahead of myself though. Today is the first time (and possibly not the last) that I'll be talking about Bert I. Gordon, the master of the B grade giant creature feature having directed 10 such films in his forty five year career behind the camera. (Editor's Note: I know this doesn't make sense because Food of the Gods was yesterday, but, to make in clear, in layman's terms, I fucked up and reversed the order on these two films.) Of course, if your initials spelled out B.I.G (and you were not Notorious), you might have a certain affection for the overly large in life as well. The flick I'll be talking about today came out in 1965, right at the height of the “Beach Party” movie craze, and grafting elements of this style onto an extremely fast and loose adaptation of an H.G. Wells novel, Gordon created a film with great comedic moments, some near scandalous special effects, and maybe even a thing or two to say. I hope you’ll join me now as I take a trip to the nice, quiet town of Hainesville which is just about to become The Village of the Giants!

A group of rowdy teens rolls into get their car stuck in the mud outside of Hainesville, and after some dancing and wrestling in the mud, Fred (Beau Bridges) convinces the other kids they should go into town to look up a girl he knows named Nancy (Charla Doherty). Nancy is hanging out at home with her boyfriend Mike (Tommy Kirk) and her junior scientist brother who calls himself 'Genius' (Ron Howard). While Genius is showing off his lab, the family cat eats up some Goop which causes it to grow to 10 times its normal size. To make sure that it wasn't a fluke, Mike feeds it to a pair of ducks who also grow to enormous proportions, and then, as giant ducks are known to do, they head down to the local go-go bar to dance the night away with the teens. When the out of town kids see the giant water fowl and learn there is some secret behind their size, dollar signs springs to mind and they soon are trying to get their hands on some Goop. When they finally do, they eat it themselves and become massive thirty foot giants who soon rule the town. Fred and his gang kidnap the daughter of the sheriff (Joe Turkel) lay down a new set of rules on the helpless adults including a curfew. As Genius hurriedly tries to concoct another batch of Goop, the town's teens resist the rule of the giants, and they are the last line of defense if no antidote can be found.

While many of the films on this list have come degree of comedic value, both intended and unintended, Valley of the Giants is probably the most squarely comedic film on my list. That being said, it's not all fun and games. While there are some tremendous sight gags (and a killer laugh at the end of the film), Gordon seems to have had a message as well. By 1965, The Beatles had invaded America and a legion of imitators and offshoots had sprung up (including The Beau Brummells who appear as the club's house band), but the real rise of youth culture which would lead into the Summer of Love, the hippie movement, and the anti-war protests had to yet begun in earnest. As with most giant creature movies, the huge beasties tend to represent a fear, nature out of control, climate change, or nuclear war to name a few. Here the over large teens are a prescient symbol of Middle America's fear of the youth on the loose. The giants first appear as youths out of control, dancing in the mud and rain, and then they get too big for the britches literally and figuratively. Meanwhile the town teens are portrayed as even headed, bright, responsible young people who made a mistake letting Goop get out. This seems a corollary for rebellious youth versus traditional values, and I doubt it will come as a surprise to anyone who wins in the end. While many films have explored the fear of the young from The Blackboard Jungle to Wild in the Streets, Village of the Giants gives the theme a larger than life spin on the topic. It is also possible that the film is meant to portray the fear of the elder generation of the oncoming Baby Boomers whose giant generation was on the cusp of coming into their own and outnumbering their parents. Of course, it also could be that Mr. Gordon was making a “Beach Party” style movie which was full of silliness and I am reading way too much into it.

None of the acting in Village of the Giants rises above the level of a typical mid-60s teen flick, but I did enjoy a number of the performances and the familiar faces that popped up. Young Beau Bridges, as Fred, the leader of the titanic teens, is probably the best of the cast, and even in this early role, he shows off why Lloyd’s eldest son is still a mainstay in TV and film productions. (Also Beau Bridges and The Beau Brummells in the same film, coincidence? I think not.) The same can be said about Ron Howard. Already five years into his role as Opie on The Andy Griffith Show, Ron shows off poise that very few kid actors have, and the role of Genius required a confidence he had in spades. I should also note that his father Rance, who I just spoke about days ago in my review of Rosewood Lane, appears here as Joe “The Shining Bartender” Turkel’s deputy. Tommy Kirk, who was an alum of many live action Disney films including The Shaggy Dog and Son of Flubber, makes for a clean cut, wholesome hero, but he just isn’t as interesting as Beau and his band of giant baddies. I would also like to mention the appearance of Toni Basil, best known as the singer of the 80’s tune “Mickey” as the club’s resident Go-go dancer Red who appears shaking her groove thing in several scenes.

What really makes Village of the Giants work is the combination of the underlying themes with a heavy dose of comedy. In one of my favorite scenes, the teens have a big cookout on the lawn while roasting one of the giant ducks on a spit, and in another, one of the normal sized teens hangs in terror from the bikini straps of a giant girl. Though, for the life of me, I had a hard time pondering how giant boobs were that scary. Another great sight gag involves the giant teens wanting a snack and the inadequate portions of Cokes and KFC. These moments of comedy make the film go down easy, but just beneath the surface there seems to be something more at work. Something, dare I say, bigger. Speaking of bigger, The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 will continue to roll on tomorrow as we get further into my top 10, and I'm willing to wager (especially because I know for sure) that there might just be another Bert I. Gordon film coming up on the list. To find out when, make sure you tune into the LBL every day, and don't forget to keep scrolling down under the trailer for today’s giant submitted list.

Bugg Rating

Today's list comes from my friend Todd Cauley. Not only is he a great writer as evidenced by his work on Video Tape Swap Shop, anyone who has listened to The Death Rattle Movie Club can vouch for his skill at impersonating Charles Bronson. Todd has given us one of the most original of the submitted lists, but I won't bother to explain I'll let the man do it himself.

In an effort to partake in the list, and in light of the fact that I'm absolutely horrible at lists of any stripe, I decided to try something a little different in regards to my top 13 giant monsters. I have them listed from 13 to 1, but instead of writing a little paragraph about each, I decided to picture them in my mind and then write the first word or thought that popped into my head for each. Ready? Here we go:

13. Guiron from Attack Of The Monsters: Not too sharp (okay, this has not started well).

12. Guilala from The X From Outer Space: I like pancakes.

11. Caltiki from Caltiki The Immortal Monster: Canelloni

10. Anguirus from the Godzilla series of films: Poor guy.

9. Frankenstein from Frankenstein Conquers The World: Fugly.

8. The Centaur from The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad: Four flushing cheater

7. The giant ants from Them!: Mustaches

6. King Ghidorah from the Godzilla series of films: Sweaty

5. Bruce from Jaws: Effin' scary

4. The Alien Queen from Aliens: M&Ms

3. The Ymir from 20 Million Miles To Earth: Mustaches

2. Sanda and Gaila from War Of The Gargantuas: Shoulder pads

1. King Kong: Muzzle

Thanks for putting up with my crap.

Todd, we here at The LBL are happy to put up with "crap" like that anytime! There's some great pics on there, and at least one or two who might still be seen in the next nine days. So tune in every night from now until Halloween for more Giant Monster Madness!

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13: #9: Food of the Gods (1976)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 20:49:00 +0000

When I said that there was a chance that the B.I.G man, Bert I. Gordon, might make another appearance on The Bigger & Badder Halloween Top 13, you probably didn't think it would be the next day, but that is exactly what is happening. I could have honestly almost filled up this list with great giant creature features from Mr. Gordon such as The Amazing Colossal Man, Earth vs. The Spider, The Cyclops, and King Dinosaur. However, I kept my choices down to two such films (though Empire of the Ants also made a strong case for inclusion), and after the tremendous teens of Village of the Giants, I had to follow it up with what probably is Gordon’s best known film, Food of the Gods. Both Village and Food are both loosely based on the H.G. Wells novel Food of the Gods, and when I say loosely, I mean I don't think that Wells included either The Beau Brummells or a former child evangelist in his novel. The main thing that both movies share is the conceit of an edible that makes the ingestee grows to tremendous proportions. While Village casts the greedy eaters as rowdy teens out for a thrill, Food of the Gods takes the path of the wrath of nature with wasps, chickens, maggots, and rats filling out the cast of overly large animals. So sit back, grab a snack, and come with me as I cut off a slice of Food of the Gods.

Morgan (Marjoe Gortner), a player for the San Francisco 49ers, and his pals go out for a relaxing time on an island off the coast of California. They think to take in nature and do a little horseback riding, but when suddenly one of them is attacked by a swarm of giant wasps, they realize that their quiet respite might be anything but. Morgan goes for help, but when he finally finds a farm he is attacked by a giant chicken and must defend himself. The mistress of the farm, Mrs. Skinner (Ida Lupino), isn't the helpful sort either and tries to run Morgan off at gunpoint thinking he is there to steal from her the substance, which she calls Food of the Gods, which has began bubbling up from the ground and is responsible for the large state of the animals. After finally getting his friends back to the mainland, Morgan returns to investigate and finds Jack Besington (Ralph Meeker) and his self proclaimed “female bacteriologist” Lorna (Pamela Franklin) trying to strike a deal with Mrs. Skinner for the food. However, they soon find out that more animals have been at the edible of enormity, and the farm is besieged by giant, hungry rats which must be fought off if any of them are to escape the island alive.

I always thought that The Food of the Gods was Jif Peanut Butter, but that might just be me. In ancient Greek myths, the Food of the Gods is ambrosia which was said to bestow mortal men with everlasting life, but once H.G. Wells got a hold of the concept, he turned the food into a substance which tells of the development of “Boomfood” a substance first used on animals (which run amuck) before being used to breed a new race of giant children who change the entire course of society and history. I recall reading it many years ago, and, while it was interesting, there are better dystopian books written around the turn of the 20th century if that’s your bag. The movie Food of the Gods eschews high minded social science fiction for a series of animal attacks and preachy moralism about nature taking its vengeance. While Village of the Giants might have been the better film when it comes to making a high minded idea out of a silly premise, Food of the Gods is nearly the opposite, taking Wells’ original idea and turning it into a silly special effects nightmare. There is good reason that Food is on this list, and that’s because it’s a no doubt, through and through, cult classic. From the shoddy special effects (the first time the wasps looks great, but in the next appearance they are see through for no apparent reason) to the cast which includes one of my favorite genre film actors (more on that later), Food of the Gods hits all the high notes of a film that is truly a great example of something that really is so bad that it’s good. I also have a special place in my heart as I recall being a young lad of nine or ten and my next door neighbor telling me about two films he watched on video, Food of the Gods and C.H.U.D., one afternoon and having nightmares that evening despite never seeing the film.

The actor that I was mentioning earlier is none other than Marjoe Gortner, perhaps one of the most fascinating actors to ever pass though the hallowed halls of genre film. In his youth, Marjoe was a fire and brimstone evangelist at four years old traveling the country billed as the “World‘s Youngest Ordained Minister”. Later in life, he regretted his role in the fake evangelical church and exposed many of their practices in an eponymous 1972 documentary. From there, he began taking on a series of film roles, and he’s popped up on the LBL in Pray for the Wildcats, Starcrash, Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw, and Mausoleum, all favorites of mine. Now, I can add Food of the Gods to that list. Marjoe is the absolute best part of the film. Despite having to suspend my disbelief that Gortner was a football player (although in the 70s they weren't quite the steroid freaks of today), he really holds the whole film together in such a way that anytime the action moves away from him, the whole affair comes to a near grinding halt.

The rest of the cast does come with quite a bit of genre cred. Pamela Franklin, despite her character laughing calling herself a “female bacteriologist” as if the gender of the bacteriologist determined something more about them, is a favorite because of her appearance in one of my favorite thrillers, And Soon the Darkness. Here she is window dressing mostly, intended to add a small romantic dynamic for Marjoe’s Morgan. More amusing and important to the film are Ida Lupino and Ralph Meeker. Lupino nails her role as Mrs. Skinner the clearly deranged owner of the farm that produces the food. I say clearly deranged because who would feed that stuff to chickens, those things are meaner than hell at knee height as it is, but it would cut down the three egg omelet to a single one. Lupino appeared in many classic Hollywood films, but, for me, her most beloved role is the gun moll Marie in the Humphrey Bogart classic High Sierra. Ralph Meeker played his shyster businessman way over the top, but in a film where rats are filmed attacking a toy VW bug so that they appear to be giant, a little over the top is well needed. Meeker also was a star from Hollywood past, and he has even made a previous appearance on The LBL opposite Barbara Stanwyck in Jeopardy.

In the classic film book The Golden Turkey Awards, brothers Michael and Harry Medved gave Food of the Gods the distinction of being “The Worst Rodent Movie of All Time” which begs the question from me, had they seen The Nasty Rabbit? Despite what the Medved Brothers had to say, I find Food of the Gods incredibly entertaining despite, or perhaps because of, the shoddy special effects and uneven feeling to the film. These kinds of films are the sort that separates the men from the boys when it comes to cult films. Either you're going to bask in the cheesiness or you’re going to absolutely hate it. For fans of Marjoe Gortner though, it can't come highly recommended enough. Food of the Gods is like ambrosia to those of us who love the cheap, stupid, borderline inane to be found on the cinema screen, and while it may not grant me eternal life, I surely hope that it gets one in the hearts and minds of cult cinema fans everywhere. That just about wraps it up for The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13 today, but there are still eight more titles between now and the big day. As with every day, this day also includes a list of favorites from a friend so make sure you scroll down below the trailer to see what kind of monstrous picks are in store for you today!

Bugg Rating

Today I have something really special for you folks, a list from my main man in China, Bill Dan Courtney. If you don't know Bill Dan, then you're missing out. From The Uranium Cafe to Necrotic Cinema, Bill Dan always drops the science on classic horror, super sleaze, and the ultra strange in cinema all from the far side of the Great Wall. I am proud to list Bill Dan as one of the longest and biggest supporters of The LBL, and if I ever get to China or Bill ever comes back stateside, he is truly someone that I would like to meet and talk to for hours on end. So naturally his list is just as fascinating as anything he ever does. So take it away Bill!

1. Caltiki – Directed by Riccardo Freda and an uncredited Mario Bava and dubbed into English by K. Gordon Murray this falls into the giant, flesh consuming blob genre. Even worse than the evil Caltiki is slimy bad guy Max. The Italian actors manage to pull off playing Mexicans better than they do British aristocracy as they do in many other films of the period.

2. Earth vs the Spider – Bert I Gordon (BIG) was the king of giant creature films over at AIP and this was one of his best. This teenagers fighting a giant spider film is the source of my arachnophobia to this very day. I like it more than the also good Jack Arnold film Tarantula.

3. Frankenstein Conquers the World – Great looking film by Ishiro Honda that really tries it best to link in the Frankenstein saga but it really ames no sense on that point. Love the miniature sets and in the end the Frankenstein monsters battles Baragon, and in an impossible to find alternate ending a giant octopus.

4. Reptilicus – AIP film co-produced with a Danish company and filmed in Denmark. This si Northern Europe’s answer to Godzilla. The monster is a riot, but not as much as the actors themselves. The Americans can’t focus on Reptilicus for too long as they are always making time with a couple frisky Danish gals.

5. Konga – Another AIP production, produced by Heman Cohen, done abroad, this time in merry ol’ England. The always high-strung Michael Gough creates a giant ape in his laboratory and soon it is running amok in downtown London. The filmmakers didn’t seems to fancy him climbing up Big Ben like King Kong did the Empire State Building, nor did they want him carry a blonde bombshell. Instead his totes around a screaming Michael Gough.

6. The Giant Claw – Sam Katz man, who did some of the later Tarzan movies with Johnny Weissmuller and, I believe, Lex Barker produced this outrageous big bird film that sports what has to be one of the most incredible giant monsters in all of b-movie history. Sexy Mara Corday spices things up a bit.

See, just like I promised. An interesting mix full of great tidbits from an awesome dude. If you loved that like I did, then make sure you tune your internets back into The LBL every day as The B&B H13 because I have plenty more great lists, surprises, and giant monsters in store for the rest of the month!

The Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13: #10: Lake Placid (1999)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 22:00:00 +0000

People love to go to lakes. Personally, I can't stand them. I'm not much of a swimmer anyhow, but offer me up a brackish pool of murky water where I don't know what could be lurking down there, and I'm going to pass. I've seen way too many Friday the 13th movies, and there could be a chained up maniac waiting down there for me to swim by so he can grab my leg. Paranoid? Perhaps, but I've gotten this far without it happening so I'm sticking to it. The reason I bring up Friday the 13th and lakes is that both have something to do with today's creature feature on the Bigger and Badder Halloween Top 13. Coming in at number 10, the last of the double digits, it's the late 90s horror-comedy Lake Placid. Featuring some of my favorite actors, some genuinely funny dialog, and Betty White cursing up a storm before casting Ms. White in anything was cool, Lake Placid scores across the board for me. Add in the involvement of Steve Minor, director of Friday the 13th Part 2 and 3, and a giant killer crocodile, and you've got me hooked for sure. So come along as I take a little trip to Black Lake, Maine and take a bite out of Lake Placid.

When Sheriff Hank Keogh (Brendon Gleeson) escorts a Fish and Wildlife officer to Black Lake, he thinks it's just another day, but when a mysterious creature bites the man in half, it turns into anything but. A large tooth thought to be a fossil is found in the corpse, and sent to New York's Natural History Museum. Paleontologist Kelly Scott (Bridget Fonda) identifies the tooth, but it's no fossil. It's of something more recent. Heading up to Black Lake, Kelly meets up with the new Wildlife officer, Jack Wells (Bill Pullman), and crocodile enthusiast and mythology professor Hector (Oliver Platt) who has gotten wind of the attack. The trio begin to investigate the lake, but the only full time resident, Delores Bickerman (Betty White) claims to have no knowledge of the giant beast in the lake. Slowly, they uncover that the monster is indeed a crocodile, grown to gigantic proportions in the lake where it has no natural predator. Also it's been given a steady diet of cows to eat. While Kelly and Jack wrestle over whether to save the beast or put it down, the croc maintains it's reign of terror until a plan can be formed to stop the beast.

Using a combination of practical effects and computer generated imagery, Lake Placid scores high in one of the biggest categories of create feature coolness; it looks marvelous. Especially compared to the work on display only two years earlier in Anaconda, Lake Placid is a giant leap forward for giant monster movies. The croc actually looks both real and extremely menacing. This is only aided by quick early cuts that show the aftermath of the reptile's violence rather than linger on the animal itself and later with grossly funny scenes such as when the croc gobbles up a cow. The script also puts enough logic and reason behind the giant beast's appearance in the lake that, even if it was all malarkey, it sounded good which is actually more important for the suspension of disbelief. Lake Placid strikes a nice balance throughout of scary and funny, even giving the creature a couple of funny moments.

While the croc rules the roost in Lake Placid (which confusingly is not the name of the lake, but rather a lake in New York state), the cast is what really brings this movie together. Top to bottom, this has to be one of my favorite lineups of actors out there. First off, Bridget Fonda. Just like her Aunt Jane, Bridget has a talent for being both smart and sexy in a movie without being vulgar. It probably doesn't help that she's been a longtime crush of mine. (So if you're out there Ms. Fonda, call me.) Kelly Scott is a put together, brave, independent woman, but she just might also be making eyes at Bill Pullman's Wildlife ranger. Pullman (not Paxton) puts in one of the more solid "hero" roles that I've ever seen, and his "Aw, shucks" charisma works here. Oliver Platt is really the one to watch though. From the moment he shows up on screen, he is wildly entertaining. From his manner to his line delivery, Platt turns in a performance that I will go back to this movie time and time again just to watch.

Brendon Gleeson is perhaps the only performer that stumbles. While I still really liked his gruff sheriff character, especially when he verbally sparred with Platt, the Irish born actor has a hard time keeping his accent consistent throughout, and quite a number of times I heard it slip back into his native tongue. The revelation, which isn't much of a revelation anymore is the performance by Betty White. While she's made a unsurpassed late life career resurgence now, I remember when I first saw Lake Placid what a novelty it was for Betty to saying things like, "If I had a dick, now is when I'd tell you to suck it." and calling people "fuck-meat". It still is in a way (I don't know of any other movies where she talks like this.), and the inside joke of her character getting in trouble with PETA was pretty funny as, of course, Betty is a huge animal lover.

As I mentioned earlier, Lake Placid was directed by Steve Miner who helmed Friday the 13th 2 & 3. So obviously wherever his career takes him, he can't escape killer things in lakes. If you need further proof of this trend, he's also made Haddonfield all wet in Halloween: H20 and the C. Thomas Howell blackface comedy Soul Man, which I have come to understand that all the copies now reside under a manmade lake. Miner directed a fine film with Lake Placid, and there are moments when the way he shot the lake are just perfectly framed and thought out. Considering he was working with a real body of water (in British Columbia, Canada not Maine as the story says), which would be completely unpredictable, it was quite a feat. I had no idea that the script Miner brought to the screen was penned by David E. Kelley, the TV giant behind series such as Ally McBeal, Doogie Houser M.D., and Boston Legal. Listening to the dialog, it does make sense. The lines pop and sound like how actual people tend to talk. Kelley also has a way with writing very real, well rounded female characters, and from Ms. White and Fonda to the actress who played a small role as a deputy and Platt's love interest, he does just that.

I don't know how many times I've seen Lake Placid over the years. Anytime I stumble across it, even on cable, I'll check in and at least watch a few minutes. If it's not chopped to pieces, I might even stay around for the whole things. However, never try and watch any of the made for TV/ SyFy sequels as they are, as we call it in the business, quite horrible. Lake Placid is anything but. I arrange these films ahead of time based on my memory of them, and frankly, I might have placed this one slightly higher on the list just out of sheer entertainment value. With a funny plot, tight cast, and a peppy pace that makes the 82 minute running time actually seem a little short, Lake Placid is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to swim there. That wraps it up for today folks, but there's nine more movies still to come. So join me back here and every night for the rest of the month for The Bigger & Badder Hallloween Top 13, but first don't forget to scroll down and check out today's list of submitted monsters.

Bugg Rating

Today's list of creatures comes from the one and only Cinemasochist Justin Oberholtzer of the Freakin Awesome Network who has recently published his first book Movienalia (which I totally encourage you to pick up in E or hard copy forms). I met Justin at the last Horrorhound Weekend I went to, and he's a hell of a guy (as anyone who shares the same birthday with me has to be). Plus, his lips have touched those of Linda Hamilton, and you can't get much more genre film cred in my book. So check out Justin's list below.

The Cinemasochist's Top 13 Monsters and Critters

1. Godzilla

2. Gizmo

3. Predator

4. Alien Queen

5. The Thing

6. King Ghidora

7. King Kong

8. Seymour (Little Shop of Horrors)

9. Creature from the Black Lagoon

10. Gamera

11. Equinox

12. Gigan

13. Cloverfield monster

Those are some great picks, and there's a good chance some of the larger ones will still make an appearance on the B&B H13. So tune in for the next nine days to find out if they do.

The Bigger & Badder Halloween Top 13: #11 Night of the Lepus (1972)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Sun, 21 Oct 2012 22:46:00 +0000

Many people would say that rabbits are not vicious creatures. Instead, they think them merely herbivores who are fluffy, hop along, and wiggle their little cotton ball tail. First off all, ask any hunter with a speech impediment, and they will tell you that rabbits are rascally or, to be accurate, wascally. However, I think that the best source of information about the species can be found from your friendly local enchanter. Mine happens to be a fellow called Tim. You may have seen him in a movie once. Well he told me that, “That’s the most foul, cruel, bad tempered rodent you will ever see in your life.” Naturally I scoffed at that because seriously who is named Tim the Enchanter anyway. Though, when I watched today’s film, Night of the Lepus, his words sprang, or should I say hopped, right into my mind. As I sat there watching Janet Leigh, DeForest Kelley, and Stuart Whitman fight off an onslaught of enormous rabbits, the words of Time rang in my ears, “death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.”

After a new report that tries to ground the film in reality by telling us of the woes of Australian farmers whose acreage was over-run by broods of rabbits, the film opens in earnest on the southwestern USA farm of Cole Hillman (Rory Calhoun) which, like the “news report” was bemoaning, is rife with the hopping plague. Searching for help, Cole turns to Elgin Clark (DeForest Kelley) at the local college who refers Cole to zoologist Roy Bennett (Stuart Whitman). Roy, his wife/assistant Gerry (Janet Leigh), and their precocious Amanda (Melanie Fullerton) trap several of Cole’s rabbits to study for a solution. Roy thinks a hormone to stunt their growth will do the trick, but when Amanda takes one of the experimental rabbits as a pet and loses it on Cole’s farm, the results are monstrous. Growing to be a couple hundred pounds and four feet tall, the rabbits are soon stampeding across the farm, and it’s not carrots they're looking for, it’s human flesh.

So exactly why a rabbit growing from normal size to huge would make it abandon the herbivore lifestyle that the species has long enjoyed is beyond me, but I'll tell you this, these critters are vicious…. viciously cute. It’s hard to take Night of the Lepus seriously, but I think that’s what I enjoy most about it. The cast is going through the motions with no sense of irony, and several of them actually turn in good performances. It’s just hard to be scared of rabbits even when they cut to them with fake blood all over their adorable pink twitchy noses. In fact, the original title of the movie was to be Rabbits, but the studio felt like no one would take it seriously and changed the name to Night of the Lepus. They also left the fuzzy cuties off the movie poster as well, going with a more amorphous shadowed shape or eyes peering from the darkness instead. That being said, Night of the Lepus gets inclusion on this list because of the seriousness taken with the silly material. Like Frogs, released the same year, the movie plays it straight, and in doing so comes off funnier than an intentional comedy made with the same theme. There are lots of giant monsters, quite a few giant apes and lizards, scads of huge aquatic life, but there is no other giant rabbit film because when you do it right the first time, there doesn’t have to be.

Of course none of this would have been possible without a solid cast. If any one of them had played their role with a wink, it just wouldn't have worked. Janet Leigh, mother of Jamie Lee Curtis and the star of Psycho, by her own admission took on the role because it shot close to her home giving her more free time. Disdainfully she said of Night of the Lepus, “I’ve forgotten as much as I could about that picture.”, but she played her role admirably and without a whiff of check collecting. So I have to give it to her for being a pro in the film despite her personal feelings on the material. Stuart Whitman, an Academy Award nominee for 1961’s The Mark, also performs solidly as her zoologist husband and the film’s default hero, but I do have to mention that they both read a bit old to have a 10 year old daughter. However, they were both in their early 50s. I think sometimes I’m just too used to how 50 year olds look in film now. DeForest Kelley, in his last feature that did not contain the words Trek or Star in it, doesn't show up much, but when he does, expect typical DeForest gruffness but marvel at the amazing ‘stache that he’s showing off. The only weak note for me was Rory Calhoun as Cole. It’s not that he was bad as much as I really wanted James Best to be playing the part. I don't know why other than Best makes everything better.

Night of the Lepus was directed by William F. Claxton, a journeyman director who had been in the business since the late 40s. Working in both features and television, Claxton clearly had a handle on how to form the movie, and even his use of miniature sets, coupled with a man in a rabbit costume for some scenes, exhibited a care to try and make the film believable. For me, that’s what works about Night of the Lepus. No matter how silly it is or how cute the fuzzy little critters are. The cast and the filmmaker took the material seriously enough to shoot straight and not wedge in tongue in cheek elements. The film already had that from the start. Night of the Lepus might not break open any new ground or be the best in its subgenre, but it entertains and amuses which is what I always look for in a flick. I don't know if I'll give a rabbit an extra wide berth if one crossed my path, but as Tim the Enchanter would say, “That rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide. It’s a killer!” I think he may have issues. Well, don't you have issues coming back for more things Bigger and Badder, and make sure you scroll on down for another submitted monsters list.

Bugg Rating

I absolutely adore how over the top menacing the trailer tries to make this flick look,

Today's submitted list comes by way of one of my favorite readers, Greg Jaeger. Greg is always active on the LBL facebook and I always appreciate when he chimes in with his opinion. So check out his opinion on the best giant creatures, and I'll see you all back here tomorrow for more monster madness.

The krynoid giant plant monster from Doctor Who episode "Seeds of Doom"- not sure if you're doing anything from TV shows but I loved the hell out of this episode as a kid and an adult. It's like a slower English version of John Carpenter's "The Thing".

Gojira!!!

King Kong!

The "Cloverfield" creature

"Them" giant ants

"The Crawling Eye"

Gamera

Thanks, Greg. You are truly a gentleman and a scholar, and thanks for being the loyal Lair-er that I know you are!

The Bigger & Badder Halloween Top 13 #12: The Beast from 20000 Fathoms (1953)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 22:00:00 +0000

Nukes, man. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times; you can't hug with nuclear arms. Hmm, maybe I didn't say that, but I should have because it’s pretty cheesy and clever at the same time. After the world witnessed the awesome force of a nuclear blast at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the awe inspiring power lead right into the nuclear panic age of the 1950’s, and with it came the giant creatures. Today, I'm getting a chance to talk about the first such film, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms. While it doesn't have the distinction of being the first giant monster movie, that distinction goes to 1931’s The Lost World which saw a dinosaur menacing London in the film’s climax; it does herald the first of the nuclear age monsters. Inspired by the success of the 1952 re-release of 1933’s King Kong, the producers turned to Ray Harryhausen, a protégé of Willis O’Brian, the man behind the world’s most famous giant ape, to bring to the screen an extremely loose adaptation of Ray Bradbury’s “The Fog Horn” first published in 1951 by the Saturday Evening Post. Join me as we travel from the frigid Arctic Circle to the bustling streets of Manhattan with The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms!

Professor Tom Nesbitt (Paul Hubschmid) is a scientist working with a team to deploy a nuclear test in the chilly confines of the artic. When the bomb goes off, it causes a beast to be released, but since only Tom sees the monster, no one believes him when he gets back to the states. After reports of a dinosaur crashing sea vessels emerges, Tom seeks the assistance of Professor Thurgood Elson (Cecil Kellaway), a renowned paleontologist, and his assistant the plucky Lee Hunter (Paula Raymond.) With their help, he discovers the beast to be a reanimated Rhedosaurus reenergized by the nuclear blast. As the monster continues down the Eastern seaboard, Nesbitt tries to convince the military of the oncoming danger, but to no avail. The monster soon arrives in Manhattan, and the only chance they have to take the devastating dinosaur out is one special radioactive isotope from sharpshooter Corporal Stone’s (Lee Van Clef) gun, but when that misses the monster sets its sights on Coney Island and the destruction had only begun.

The Rhedosaurus emerges from the ice like nothing that anyone has seen since the age of dinosaurs. No wait, that’s not accurate. It emerges like nothing anyone has ever seen. With a mish-mash of parts taken from a number of different dinos, Harryhausen created a whole new monster for The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, and, if cinematic legend is to believed, the ’Rh’ at the beginning of the name was a nod to Ray’s own initials. That’s not to say that for the time the monster didn't look real. In fact, in some ways, the split matte, in camera method that Harryhausen used is more effective than, say, the middling CGI on display in yesterday’s film, Anaconda. Some portions of the monster’s mayhem are simply stunning despite their age. The Coney Island sequence at the film’s climax is particularly well done, and I would put it up against any of Harryhausen’s best work.

The monster is the star here because the stars, well, they're not so good. While Swiss born actor Paul Hubschmid strikes the figure of a dashing young hero as Tom, his wildly variable accent (I assume he was trying to tame it at times.) makes for some uneven moments. Paula Raymond makes cute as the assistant that believes Tom’s story, but she never rises above a stock character. The only really enjoyable performance comes from Cecil Kellaway. The veteran actor, who had appeared in such classics such as The Postman Always Rings Twice and The Invisible Man Returns, turns in an amusing and entertaining turn as the paleontologist. More interesting are the many cameo roles from then unknown actors. As I mentioned in the synopsis, tough guy actor Lee Van Cleef shows up as the sharpshooter, and he hangs around a bit before and after his big moment. In the film’s very first scene, two notable actors are present. The first line of the film is spoken by Alvin Greenman, famous for playing the kind hearted janitor in Miracle on 34th Street, and he speaks to none other than James Best, the future sheriff of Hazard County.

I don't know what else I can say about Ray Harryhausen that hasn't already been said. From his work mentoring Willis O’Brian to his mythical creatures in Clash of the Titans to everything in between, Harryhausen is probably one of the biggest influences on film over the years. Without him, the blockbuster special effects picture might not be what it is (take that as a good or bad thing), and surely he inspired hundreds, if not thousands, of people to get into the world of special effects. Despite Ray’s name looming large over the film, it was actually directed by Ukrainian born Eugene Lourie. Interestingly, while he has countless art department credits, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms was his first directorial effort, and his last was 1961’s Gorgo, another giant monster movie. In fact, during his career, he kept largely directing titles such as The Colossus of New York, The Giant Behemoth, and an episode of the TV show World of Giants. Working with John L. Russell, who would be the cinematographer on Psycho and many other films, and Harryhausen, Lourie fashions a film that never rises above its star monster and does not hinder it either.

While The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms is hindered by the very era it was made in, it still makes for an interesting watch even in this day and age when we base so much of a film’s success on the actors involved in it. What is continually interesting about the film is how it reflects thoughts and ideas about the dangers of nuclear power. Not only did people really buy into the “fact” the nukes could possibly bring back dinosaurs, the monster’s ravaging of The Big Apple is surely a corollary to the fear of utter destruction at the hands of an uncontrollable enemy a.k.a a bomb. While Godzilla perhaps makes this case more pointedly thanks to Japan’s own personal experience with nukes, surely a number of people left the theater with thoughts of the bomb on their mind. Nuclear power was a great mystery, and unlike today when we are all armchair physicists, there was real fear that pervaded society from this time until the mid 1980’s, when the Cold War ended, that a nuclear battle was imminent at any moment. While it may lack the effects of modern creature features, the symbolic resonance of other films, and a cast which I can't give more than a passable grade to, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms is a film which should be seen because of its importance in film and cultural history. Well, that wraps it up for today, but there are 11 more titles where these came from so tune in tomorrow and every day this month at 9 PM EST for another entry as the massive, massive Bigger & Badder Halloween Top 13 rolls on, but don't forget to keep scrolling down to see today's submitted giany monster list.

Bugg Rating

The beast is in the public domain, and so you can watch this little gem right here thanks to Internet Archive.

If you're in the horror community and you don't know John Cozzoli, then get over to Zombos' Closet and start getting to know him. Apart from being a veritable encyclopedia of classic horror, John is also the head honcho and driving force of The League of Tana Tea Drinker, a coalition of the best horror writers the interwebs have to offer (even a certain ever lovin blue eye'd Bugg.), and, if you ask me, he's an all around swell guy. So make sure to check him out right after you check out his picks for the best giant monster movies around. Take it away, John.

Them!

King Kong

The Blob

Godzilla

Tarantula

The Giant Claw

Attack of the Crab Monsters

Attack of the Giant Leeches

Ticks

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (Editor's Note: Lookie! This was today's film!)

Reptilicus

Mothra

Gorgo

Between yesterday's list and today's I'm starting to see a few titles pop up over and over. Will they pop up on the LBL as the B&B H13 continues? Well, stay tuned to find out tomorrow and every day all the way up to Halloween!

The Bigger & Badder Halloween Top 13: #13: Anaconda (1997)

noreply@blogger.com (Zachary Kelley) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 22:00:00 +0000

The day has finally arrived. With only 13 days until the biggest holiday of the year (for me, at least), I've been looking forward since last year to penning this list of giant monsters, colossal critters, and enormous animals. Today, I kick off the countdown with a film that is near and dear to my heart. Way back in 1997 I watched today's flick in the theater, and instantly I knew two things, the special effects would be out of date by next week and I had just witnessed what should have become one of the new cult classics. Unfortunately, time has not been on my side of the latter argument. While I'm sure the film has found more than a few admirers, perhaps few have realized it's full potential as one of the best party movies ever made. From the insanely inspired performances to the laughable twist on Moby Dick, there's really nothing here for a cult film fan not to like. So join me, along with a rapper, an American Idol judge, a guy whose had the same haircut for 20 plus years, Angelina's dad, and Danny Trejo for a ride on the Amazon in a little something that I like to call Anaconda.

Dr. Stephen Cale (Eric Stoltz) and his team of documentarians including the director Terri (Jennifer Lopez), cameraman Danny (Ice Cube), sound guy Gary (Owen Wilson), script supervisor Denise ( Kari Wuhrer) and narrator Warren (Johnathan Hyde) set out to record a film on the Amazon river detailing the lives of a lost native population. When they ask snake hunter Paul (Jon Voight) for his assistance in finding the Indians, he does more than that, he takes over the entire ship. When Stephen is taken out of commission by a deadly South American wasp, Terri is ready to run for help, but with Paul as their only guide, he has other ideas. He's done poaching little game, and now he has his sights set on a 40 foot long version of the deadly Anaconda, which sold into captivity could make him famous and very rich. Holding the crew at gunpoint, he forces them into a deadly game with the snake, and soon the crew is beginning to dwindle. As the fight between man and nature rages on, Paul forgets that he still must face off man to man as Terri and Danny fight for their survival.

I'll get to J.Lo. I have plenty of material on the snake. I won't leave Stoltz out like I was directing Back to the Future. Do not fret, I will speak on former African Americans With Negative Temperaments but before I get to any of that, I have to get my fangs into Jon Voight. I can only imagine that instead of telling Jon he was going to be in a movie, they merely asked him to show up to a boat party as the most outlandish character he could dream up because no other explanation makes sense out of this turn by the one time Midnight Cowboy. Spinning an accent which occasionally sounds like a Spaniard, Voight primarily channels the mush mouthed performances of Marlon Brando in The Godfather with a bit of Apocalypse Now sprinkled in with guidance by Jean Claude Van Damme's vocal coach in Hard Target. I don't think there is a better word to describe what happens onscreen as inspired. I mean look at that face in the picture. That's not some weird freeze frame. It just cuts to him and he's doing this for an extended period of time before it goes back to Ms. Lopez staring at him. I can't imagine what he was like on set unless he just saved every ounce of everything to pour on the screen. While Anaconda makes the list because of the overlarge reptile lift one display, Jon Voight's performance itself I feel counts as a giant monster because it nearly eats this whole film. If you've seen it, then you know what I mean by "the wink", and if not, see it to find out.

Now that Jon got his paragraph, and deservedly so, let me move on to the attraction that brings us to Anaconda. First off, the title is a bit misleading. There should already be an 'S' on the end there because they protagonists face at least two, and perhaps three, of the slithery baddies on display. Perhaps they were holding the plural for the sequel because, when it finally materialized in 2004, it came correct as Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. However, that film is absolute shit, and don't get me started about parts 3 and 4 because we're not here to talk about them and that would be weird if I suddenly did. In 1997, as I stated earlier, the effects for the snake, a mixture of puppetry, rubber creatures, and what was on the cusp of being outdated CGI effects even then, looked pretty bad. It only gets worse during moments when it is supposed to be moving fast or, heaven forbid, eating people. The moment when it swims by underwater and you can see the outline of a screaming person being digested is all I have to tell you about the care the creators of Anaconda took to make the snakes seem real. They also tend to scream a lot, or whatever it is they were doing, which a snake friendly friend of mine described technically as "a bunch of crap.". That folks, is good enough for me. Though I would like to note that Frank Welker is credited with the "voice" of the snake, and while that may not be a household name, you might be surprised at how many times you've heard him as Fred from Scooby Doo and in dozens of other cartoons.

So in my world Jon Voight gets top billing and then the snake. Now we get to the rest of them. This seems like light years ago for Jennifer Lopez. I mean she practically made Anaconda when she was still Jenny from the block. That was when she used to have a little, and now, my friends, the word is that she has a lot. Surprisingly what she doesn't have a lot of in Anaconda is a decent wardrobe. It's just bad and dreary, and if you made a drinking game out of taking a shot after every time she put her hair up or took it down, then you wouldn't even make it to the halfway point without a hospital visit. Lopez is not bad, but I've seen her be more compelling in other movies such as Out of Sight, The Cell, and Enough. This is actually one of Ice Cube's better performances on an average that now includes Are We There Yet?, and surely one of the biggest snakes he had ever fought with since the passing of Eazy-E. Cube and Lopez make a good team in the film's climax, but where was the theme song from the two of them? That's what I really want to know.

Owen Wilson pops up here with the haircut that defined a career, and he shows off all the same subtle acting cues that still make him unwatchable today. He was paired with Kari Wuhrer, and I thought her acting was better by far. The only one who really came to act was Jonathan Pryce who not only plays a magnificent douche bag in the film's front end, but also has the only dynamic character that it really felt like it mattered when he got Anaconda'd. Danny Trejo, who scores something like third of fourth billed as the movie comes on, gets offed in the first minute of the film, but it's interesting to see him back then because he was so much smaller. Perhaps he was Danny Dosjo and bulked up to Trejo. I hope he doesn't get any larger though because Cuatrojo is a name that will kill a career. There was one cast member that really bothered me, Vincent Castellanos as the boat driver Mateo. It never would have occurred to me before this viewing, but he looks just like a Jon Hamm SNL character waiting to happen and it kept distracting me.

By this point, some of you might be questioning my sanity because of either the level of jokes in this review, my unnatural love for Anaconda and its' inclusion on my countdown, or because that's what you normally do, but I have good reason to have placed Anaconda at Number 13 on the Bigger & Badder. First off, this movie is pretty damn big and pretty damn bad, in all the right ways. As a cult/genre film fan, there's something magical about a movie that doesn't just beg to be re-watched, but begs to be re-watched with friends. Who will make the best Voight face? Who will notice the waterfall going backwards? How many references to Sean "Puffy" Combs, Marley & Me, and not having to use one's A.K. will come to pass before the evening is over? So I placed this on my list both because I think it's a hell of a fun movie, but also because as you begin to plan Halloween get-togethers, I encourage you to add Anaconda to your list of party films. That brings to a close the first bite of The Bigger & Badder Halloween Top 13. I hope you all enjoyed it, and please join me back every day for the rest of this month as I put the squeeze on giants! Don't forget to scroll down under the trailer to check out my first submitted list of Bigger and Badder features.

Bugg Rating

Today's list comes to us by way of the man, the myth, the legend in his own time, Brian Solomon of The Vault of Horror. Mr. Solomon has long been a supporter of The LBL, and if memory serves me correctly, he has participated in all five years of the event. He is truly a wonderful person and a great writer. So if you don't know his stuff, then know it!

Here's Brian's list:

1. Gojira

2. King Kong

3. The Host

4. It Came from Beneath the Sea

5. Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster

6. Them!

7. The Blob

8. Jurassic Park

9. Godzilla: Final Wars

10. The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms

11. Cloverfield

12. Frankenstein Conquers the World

13. The Giant Claw

And a great list it is. I wonder if we're going to see any of those titles coming up? To find out and to see more of what my friends and I love when it comes to giant beasties and colossal creatures, tune in every day at 6PM EST for the next entry all the way up to the big day!