Hello everyone,

I’m here to announce that I am taking a break from writing here at The Minimalist Guy.

Currently, I am working on some other side projects. Yes, projects.

I don’t know how long this break will be. But that doesn’t mean I am no longer a minimalist.

I am still one

In the meantime, feel free to browse the old postings in the archive.

-KC-

I think I’m ready to be 30 in a few more years.

The reason I said this is because lately, I have been thinking about all the choices that I have made.

Did I take the right major when I was in college?

Am I doing the right job to put food on my table? Should I just stick to being an accountant, get a professional qualification and climb up the corporate ladder?

Was it a mistake to switch from a white-collared job to a blue-collared job?

Did I make the right decision when I decided to date so and so back then?

All these questions do keep coming to me from time to time.

Looking at all the choices I have made, I still believe I can do what ever I set my mind to do.

I’m not sure if my friends who are of the same age with me and are married with kids will think the same.

But I sometimes do ask myself how would my life be right now should I choose to get married and have kids.

Will I be a happily married man who comes home everyday from work to a lovely wife and two beautiful twin daughters? ?

Or will I be a 20 something guy who feels tired and dragged down by a family commitment?

I don’t know and I don’t have an answer for that.

Maybe this is what we call it a late 20′s dilemma

But I know one thing that I want right now.

I want to be healthy.

Because whatever it is that I want to do, having a healthy body is important.

Today is the 12th day of Ramadhan.

I have been exercising for 7 days out of the 12 days.

I feel a lot better right now.

I think I will be approaching 30 with a lot of ‘gaya’!

1. The first lie two persons tell each other on the first morning after they had sex on a first date:

Girl: I’ve never done this with any other guy before.
Boy: I must be a very special guy then.

2. If you treat relationships like jobs, you will never be single. You are either in between relationships, or in one.

3. Sometimes you have a question in your head which needs answering but you don’t know who to turn to for the answer. Ironically, if you work hard enough, you will get the answer, from an unexpected resource.

4. Shah Alam and TTDI is like a typical Malay girl next door. Sweet, inviting and charming. Yet, at times can be very confusing.

5. Girls with even a little bit of Javanese blood tend to have very nice smiles (meaning: a beautiful set of teeth). Case in point: Datuk Noraini Ahmad.

And 9 out of 10 Kelantanese girls tend to over rate their intelligence.

Fashion-wise, they are two seasons behind.

I’m writing this post as a response to not being able to get a date after being in the dating market for quite some time

The following are 7 reasons why I was never a Player.

1. Swagger

I don’t have swagger when it comes to behaving properly on the first date. I’ll sweat, my lips get dry and my palm gets wet when I am seated at the same table talking to a girl that I find attractive. Attractive means witty, beautiful face and gastronomically adventurous.

2. Sex pub

Most players will have a ‘sex pub’. It is a a nice, romantic spot where they will always take girls because it creates an ambience that makes girls amenable to the idea of sex.

As for me, I usually take girls to a mamak restaurant for a first date. And I’ll make sure we both stuff ourselves till we feel bloated and unsexy.

And therefore we will not be able to have sex later. Abstinence is the best policy-kan?

3. Availability

I’m always available for the girl I like. Weekends? I’ll skip teh tarik with the boys to look after her sick kitten.

4. Player paraphernalia.

Flashy car? Nope. I don’t even own or know how to drive a car. The girls have to come and pick me up if they want to date me. Yes, I really don’t own a car.

Expensive watch? I couldn’t remember when was the last time I had a watch.

Silk sheets? I don’t even remember when was the last time I changed my 200 thread cotton bedsheet. I bet you can see some stains under UV lights on the bedsheet.

5. Friends

I have mostly male friends and my female friends, they mostly want to be my ‘friends’ only

6. Phone

Unlike the established player who has more than one phone, I really have only one phone. And it’s a Blackberry Curve 8520, the cheapest of all model.

But wait, using a smartphone and riding motorcycle to work?

That makes me a glorified Mat Rempit KL-kan?

7. Denying being a Player.

I’m just a regular guy who denies being a Player. So I surely am not one, am I ?

Postscript – To any girl who might be reading this, I am a relationship material guy. I can give you my ex-girlfriend’s number for a testimonial.

Postpostscript – And you might think I’m being facetious with this posting, but I am really looking forward to know you better.

Lately, I am seeing a lot of my male friends getting into relationships.

I am writing this very short blog post for them.

This post is for you, guys.

Kawan-kawan,

Navigating a relationship is not easy. It takes a lot of work.

But of all the works needed to be done, there is one thing a guy must do.

If you only do this, the rest of the relationship takes care by itself.

I call it The Most Minimalist Role for A Guy in A Relationship.

It is only eight words, yet very powerful.

The most minimalist role for a guy in a relationship is to………

……..understand the girl more than she understands herself.

Everything else comes second to this.

Everything else should flow from this.

Because……..

……….if you understand the girl more than she understands herself, you know that she needs a man.

And you be that man.

You also know that she needs emotional pampering to feel loved.

And you make her feel loved.

You also know that she needs sex to feel a deep connection with you.

And you give her sex.

In return, she gives you Female Affection.

“When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.”

-Kahlil Gibran-

Would you like to know how to get a boyfriend? Would you like to know how to enter into a relationship with a guy that you want? And do you want to be that girl who gets to be with her dream guy?

Keep on reading…

Actually getting a boyfriend is really easy. You just have to give men the only thing that they need from a girl.

And do you know what is that only thing that guys need from girls?

To tell you the truth, I am not able to speak on behalf of all the guys in the world.

But still, I am a guy and I’m sure I can contribute a little bit, if not much on what guys want from girls.

Guys want sex from a girl? Is that something you have been hearing all this while?

Well, it is true. But, it is only partially true.

Let me ask you this. Do you think guys get married because of sex?

The answer is no.

Sex is an abundant resources. You can get it anywhere.

Guys don’t get married because of sex.

Guys get married because they need Female Affection.

Sex per se does not deliver Female Affection. It might deliver you baby nine months down the road

But a relationship is the best platform to deliver Female Affection.

So my point is, if you want a guy to feel like wanting to be your boyfriend, give him some Female Affection, constantly.

In December last year I announced that I would be taking a month long break from writing here, at The Minimalist Guy.

It turned out I took almost longer than that. I only managed to write two blog posts after December 2010.

One in January and one in February. No postings or updates in March, April, and May.

Zilch, nil, nada.

But during the hiatus, I managed to reflect on why I started writing on The Minimalist Guy and whether I should continue writing on minimalism when there are a lot of other people are doing it.

I started TMG when I started to embrace minimalism as a way of life. I attempted the 100 Things Challenge, and I got out of credit card debt then.

I used to have a dream of becoming a celebrity minimalist blogger like Everett Bogue too. (For the record, I think I’m an E-list celebrity minimalist blogger because I was featured twice in two national newspapers)

But when he said ‘Fuck Minimalism’, I was left in limbo. (You know I can’t be serious about this )

The truth is, eventhough I have a love hate relationship with him, I really admire his writings.

He is able to stir emotions and moves people to take action.

Besides him, the other two guys whose writings I admire are Leo Babauta of Zen Habits and Fazallah Pit, my editor at KeadilanDaily.com.

Leo has the ability to make you want to read his writing over and over again. I myself keep on going back to his books and reread it from time to time.

As for Fazallah, his writings are compact, yet they are full of ‘punches’.

You can feel that the words are carefully chosen to give the strongest impact, with the least efforts.

Because of this, I realised that I am so blessed to be surrounded with a lot of resources and people to model after in improving my writing.

Therefore, The Minimalist Guy is no longer a platform for me to be a celebrity minimalist blogger

It is now a platform for me to improve my writings, and connect with other amazing people on this world.

From now on, you will find me writing on various topics on this blog.

But I can assure you that Minimalism will still be the underlying theme of my writings from time to time.

Before I end this essay, let me tell you one secret about Minimalism.

Once you get into Minimalism, it is hard for you to leave it. Everett Bogue was lying when he said ‘Fuck Minimalism’.

Minimalism (the movement, the lifestyle, not the design) is like Hotel California.

“You can check out anytime you want but you can’t never leave.”

That is me. I am a lazy seducer but I am also a hardworking boyfriend. Oh God, I can’t remember when was the last time I wrote a piece that is so full of myself

So please allow me the space to do so, now.

Lately, I have been doing some reflections after being out of a long term relationship for about seven months.

In the end, I came to the following conclusions:

I consider myself to be a Lazy Seducer. This is because I have a habit of not putting a lot of efforts at any inital courting stage of a girl that I am attracted to.

Instead, I prefer to just sit back, relax and let the girl take the lead, emotionally.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t put any effort at all in creating a nice and memorable day out (or day in) with the girl.

The ‘lazy’ part means I don’t fret or get anxious if a girl cancels a date. Or if she does not pick up my call. Or if she is interested in me or not.

It’s not worth expending so much energy on such trivia matter.

But once I get into a relationship, the job begins.

This is the phase where I turn into a Hardworking Boyfriend, in the relationship phase.

A relationship has different dynamics from the initial stage of courtship.

First, this is the phase where I, or any guy should catch a grenade or jump on a train for their girlfriends

(Thanks Bruno Mars!)

And at this phase too, I will start to try understanding the girl. Like really understanding the girl as a unique individual, not just as in understanding another creature with mammary glands that is different from mine.

This is also the phase where I work hard. Literally and figuratively

One good resources for men to understand the girl with, is 5 Love Languages website. It is a derivation of a book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Another one, is of course the classic by John Gray, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

Oh ya, those two books, a guy should not bother reading them when they are in the ‘Lazy Seducer’ stage. They are useless.

Read it and apply it like a Bible, or Koran, only when you get in the ‘Hardworking Boyfriend’ stage.

What should you do then when you are in the ‘Lazy Seducer’ phase then?

Do this. Every time before you go out on a date or she’s coming over to your place, imagine yourself pinning her to the wall and giving it really rough and tough to her

That way, by the time you go out on a date, instead of coming across as weak and meek man trying to get laid, you will send a subtle vibe of a man who gives it when he feels like giving it.

Oh ya, there are a few benefits of this approach to dating and relationship.

First, it weeds out girls who are not that interested in you right from the beginning.

And second, it rewards the girls who work hard for your attention and deserve your time, attention and energy.

That my friend, is a minimalist approach to dating and relationship.

You heard it first from me

-Ahmad Fadli KC aka Buluh Perindu-

Last year was a year for me to fix my finances. I have gotten on the right track in managing my money. I settled my credit card debt, and managed to increase my emergency savings.

And this year , it is time for me to focus on another important facets in my life, my  health.

I have decided to be more healthy. Yes, that was it, without any specifications on what entails ‘being more healthy’.

But I know once I put the intention in motion, the gate of the universe opens up and the universe will help me to manifest my intention.

Through divine intervention, the intention to become more healthy starts manifesting itself a few days ago.

On Friday,I went to Borders bookstore in Berjaya Times Square Kuala Lumpur looking for a book by the title,  The 4- Hour Body:  An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming.

This is a second book by Timothy Ferris after The 4-Hour Work Week.

(The reason I was looking for the book is because, it teaches a technique that you can use to give a girl an orgasm for 15 MINUTES!

Read that again, not within 15 minutes but FOR 15 minutes!)

Unfortunately, the store did not carry the book. But I found another equally interesting book.

It’s a book by some professor on the four spiritual practises of Jalaluddin Rumi. The four practises are eating lightly, breathing deeply, move freely and gaze raptly.

One of the practise in eating lightly is to fast. Yes, berpuasa.

Thank God fasting is not that hard because I’m used to it during the month of Ramadhan. I fasted the whole month last year. (I missed one day of fasting a year before)

After flipping through the book, I decided to try fasting again. But this time around, I am doing it for health purpose and spirituality improvement.

When you feed the stomach, you feed the body, when you fast, you feed the god in you – A line from the book.

The universe works in an interesting way.

After setting my intention to be more healthy this year, Around last week, I happened to stumbled upon a blog that promotes Intermittent Fasting.

The blog talks about getting a lean body through a very simple way, Daily Intermittent Fasting (DIF) and exercising.

The book and the blog…..are sending me messages of what I should do. Fasting. Daily Intermittent Fasting (DIF) as a path to become more healthy.

What is Daily Intermittent Fasting (DIF) anyway ?

In the simplest term, it is an act of compressing one’s window period of eating.

For instance, instead of eating for 12 hour during my waking hour, I make it shorter to only 5 hour.

So when I started DIF on Saturday, my first meal was 3 pieces of  curry puffs at 3 pm. I skipped breakfast on that day and my last meal was a packet of nasi lemak at 8 pm.

I ate for only 5 hours, from 3 pm to 8 pm.

The immediate effect: Today, I woke up at 730 am, much earlier than usual. And I felt lighter too. I am now training my body to use all the stored energy (read: fats) and not relying too much on external source of energy. I felt less bloated after a meal as well.

It is only my second day today, but tonight, I’ll snap a photo of myself and let’s see how I look like 6 months down the road

I am currently working a new job which is a totally new field to me.

I’m learning a lot of new things. So most probably, I won’t be actively writing here until the end of December .

But I have becoming more minimalist as well now.

Now I sleep at night without a pillow. And, I’m living my life with only 2 pants, 2 jeans, 3 shirts, and 5 T-shirts. And 5 underwears and 5 pairs of socks.

And now that I have very little stuff, I am way much happier.

In the mean time, please visit these blogs to keep yourself occupied

Everyday Minimalist

Fabulissime

Miss Minimalist

Oh ya, Miss Minimalist has an interesting piece on “To be thingless is to possess the world” .

Don’t miss me, people